Episode 33: Conference Review and Necessity of Christian Friendship

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This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased. He is honored, and I get the glory. And by the way, it's even better, because you see that building in Perryville, Arkansas? You see that one in Pechote, Mexico?

Do you see that one in Tuxla, Guterres, down there in Chiapas? That building has my son's name on it. The church is not a democracy, it's a monarchy. Christ is king.

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You can't do anything better than to bend your knee and bow your heart, turn from your sin and repentance, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and join up with a good Bible-believing church, and spend your life serving Jesus in a local, visible congregation.

Conference Review: The Perryville 2nd Baptist Church Weekend

Welcome to the Ruled Church podcast, episode 33.

I'm Alan Nelson,.

Pastor of Perryville Second Baptist Church. With me is Eddie Ragsdale. Eddie, you go by many titles.

What's your favorite? My favorite?

Big Ed. My advisor in college, Dr. Robert Foster, he used to call me Big Ed.

Well, there you go. Eddie is pastor of First Baptist Church of Marshall, Arkansas. Grateful to have you on the podcast today, all you listeners. And we're, oh, Eddie, should I announce about the half dozen thing?

Yeah, I think you should do that.

We found out, I guess, a couple of weeks ago now that my wife is pregnant with our sixth child, so that makes a half dozen. Am I crazy?

You're not crazy. It's cheaper by the dozen, so you just need six more.

I am a little bit crazy, but maybe that has nothing to do with it.

Yeah, maybe not. Hey, you know what else? It was really great to get to actually see you in person this weekend. We got to be together for the conference this weekend there at your church at Second Baptist Perryville.

Thankful to the Conway Prairie Association for supporting that and for allowing you to organize that. Thank you, brother, for putting that together. I know it's a lot of work, but it was really beneficial.

And I would encourage everybody, go online. I know that the sermons are posted and all four sermons are well worth your time to go and hear those.

I'll link the playlist from YouTube in the show notes so you can go and find that. But let's walk through that for a minute. Let's walk through the conference day by day and let's just kind of give some feedback because I was very encouraged as well.

It is an exhausting thing, but first I want to publicly thank again, Dr. Tom Askell and Pastor Mike Stone. I'm grateful for those brothers. I'm grateful for their friendship. I'm grateful for their willingness to give their time to come down to Central Arkansas and be with us this past weekend, which by the time this comes out, it'll be a couple weekends ago.

But we also Dr. Owen Strand, and that'll bring us to Thursday. We started out on Thursday before, but let's add this stuff in there too. Before we went to the Q &A, we had a nice meal together and you got to be part of that.

Right?

Go ahead.

Yeah, and it was great getting to just sit and have a good conversation. You know, you and I got to sit there with Pastor Mike Stone and just talk about what's happening in their church there in Blackshire, Georgia.

And really, you know, the great thing about it is just their heart for scripture and scriptural preaching. You know, we were just discussing the places in the Bible where we're preaching and getting into, right there at the dinner table, just talking about the text.

And it was a very encouraging conversation for me.

Yeah, a lot of fun too, because you get to hear these brothers from a distance all the time, but it's something else to sit across from the table from them and get to chat. So that was encouraging. And then we moved from that to the Q &A.

Of course, I was part of that Q &A, so I'll start with you and then I'll give some feedback. Well, what'd you think about the Q &A panel?

I thought it was very helpful. Specifically, just hearing their heart for the future of the church. You know, a lot of times I think, especially those particular brothers, Brother Tom Askell and Mike Stone, a lot gets talked about with the SBC and the problems going on in the SBC.

And I know you guys talked about a little bit of that on the panel, but just hearing their heart for the local church and thinking through those things, even beyond just what affects the SBC, I thought the panel was really helpful and Dr. Strand as well.

So it was really good.

That was by design, because when I was getting this conference ready, that's one of the things I didn't wanna do. I'm ready to bash SBC as much as anyone, but there's enough of that going on. And I wanted to give more of a positive aspect of the church beyond the SBC.

Because let's face it, we're gonna live in a world one day if the Lord tarries, where the SBC is either completely apostate or just doesn't exist anymore. And so the church is much bigger than the SBC.

And so I really was encouraged by their responses and some of the things that stood out to me in the Q &A, I guess, I thought Pastor Stone and answered that question really well about the need for, or about the discussion about the amendment to the constitution of the SBC regarding women pastors.

I thought Dr. Strand was very encouraging about some things, about the love of God for his people. And man, I just, and Dr. Askew, of course, always sharing his wisdom, I thought all three did good. And I was very encouraged, not only that, but the attendance and the feedback I was encouraged by.

I really wanna commend Dr. Strand for even being a part of that. He had spent all day that day teaching and then engaging in that conversation as well. And I thought it was really good.

Yeah, amen, all three of them really, giving up their time and then, like you say, Dr. Strand lecturing all day and then coming over. That was good. And then you went home that night and then we, back to Marshall, and then Friday morning, so you weren't a part of this, but Friday morning, we had a breakfast, which was really just some of our church folks and then Wes and Kristen Brown came over, but we just enjoyed time together.

You know, the speakers or anything like that weren't there, but we just enjoyed time together. And then we started setting up and getting ready for the lunch. And the lunch, I was very encouraged on Friday, how many pastors showed up and we were able to give out all those books.

Have you got a chance to look at your books yet?

I have not even gotten a chance to look through all of the books yet. We have a prayer meeting on Tuesday mornings in our association and our associational missionary was at the lunch on Friday and he was just commenting to me how good all the books were that he got.

And I haven't even had a chance to look through all of them just because of the things I've had going on the last few days. And so, but yeah, it was really exciting to get a stack of good books.

Well, that's encouraging. What did he make any comments about the lunch?

Yeah, he said he thought it was real good. He especially though was just commenting on the books and how good a selection that there was.

A lot of those books were donated, you know? So that was really encouraging. And so what'd you think about the lunch?

Well, I was excited because even as I mentioned during the lunch, I had a question that came to mind actually during the Q and A on Thursday night, but that wasn't the kind of Q and A where, I mean, it was a panel discussion, not really a Q and A.

And so I was able to ask that question myself and I was really encouraged by the, kind of the devotional thoughts that Tom and Mike shared. And it was really encouraging, you know, for the ministry.

Dr. Askel talked about, he talked about, you know, not leaving a place for two reasons. Do you remember what they were?

You have to juggle my memory.

One was because of the people there and one was because of the enemies there. He's like, sometimes, you know, he's like, we don't think about that, but sometimes you don't leave a place because of those who are contending against the gospel.

And so I know there was one brother in particular, but that was very encouraging, very, very encouraging to him. I thought, you know, I thought Mike and Tom, again, both did well. And what was great about that was just the camaraderie and the fellowship among pastors.

It was very, you know, very, very encouraging. Anything else about the lunch?

You know, a big thank you to First Baptist Perryville for hosting that and making that space available. I know that, man, it's hard to get all of these things in one place. And you guys had a lot going on at your church for the sessions.

And so it was very helpful to be able to

Yeah, our facilities just aren't conducive to trying to set up, take down, you know, things like that. But, okay, so now we get into conference proper on Friday night. And I was very encouraged, of course, I got a call, I got a call about 5 .15 from a church member that was working on stuff at the church.

And he said, hey, do they know the right place? Because there's not very many people here, you know? And, but I understand how Baptists work. And if it starts at six, you got folks showing up about 6 .02, but I was very encouraged by the attendance.

I don't know how many people were there, but I know that we had set up 164 chairs, I believe. And I think, you know, someone counted 80 and that might be true, but I was thinking that there were a hundred or more, you know, but anyway, what do you think about Friday night?

Yeah, it was really great. I was actually probably the last person to walk in the door. I had, Friday afternoon, I ran down to Hot Springs to watch a group of kids from our church shooting the state archery tournament.

And so I was a few minutes late getting back, but yeah, I was really encouraged, you know, you know, when Tom began to speak and talked about the fear of the Lord, that was so helpful. I think to set up the whole weekend really in, when we think about shepherding and pastoring, so often, you know, we hear a lot of technical things, this is how to do it better, or we hear encouragements to pray more or to get in the Bible more, and man, we need to do that.

But what needs to motivate all of that is a right and holy reverence for our God. And so that was so helpful when, you know, Tom shared that with us. Yeah, I think in just getting our hearts right.

Yes.

Yeah, definitely set the tone for the whole weekend. And then after that, Pastor Mike Stone preached on how to have a good goodbye from Acts chapter 20. And that was just, I don't know the words to say, pretty amazing message.

And they, you know, Dr. Askle really set up, Pastor Mike very well there on the fear of God. And then we went straight into the life and character and conduct and conviction as it were of a pastor in such a way that when he's ready to say goodbye, whether it's the end of life or whether it's transitioning ministry positions or whatever, you have the integrity of a life well-lived as it were.

And, you know, I was struck by Mike's message because I know maybe the first thought on a lot of pastors' minds at the beginning of that message is, well, I hope that goodbye is a long time in the future.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, I don't want to go anywhere. I'm, you know, looking at my ministry here at Marshall right now and just encouraged by some things the Lord is doing and hoping that it'll be the Lord's will that we'll be here for a long time.

But then thinking through the entire sermon that Mike preached and really there is a sense in which we want to be preaching, teaching, shepherding our people in such a way that whether goodbye is in three months or in 30 years, we'll be able to have that good goodbye.

It was really helpful sermon. And man, I just have to say this. I have maybe only ever heard Mike Stone preach one other time before this. That brother can really preach. I mean, he could really preach.

It was good.

Amen.

I was grateful. And then one other aspect about Friday night that I want to mention is the singing. I was very grateful. You know, Gunnar did a great job and then just people just sang. And so it's an underrated aspect of many of these conferences.

And that is the singing. And it was so encouraging.

Yeah.

Now let's not puff Gunnar up too much. We don't want to get his head to get. No, no, he really did do a great job. Proud of Gunnar. And yeah, I thought the singing was fantastic.

And then Friday night after the conference, we went over to our house. So we had gotten stuff for fajitas for Friday night for the speakers. And we had done that when eating before with just a few of us.

And so then we actually had a ton of food left. And so we invited several folks over. Speakers went home, but let's see, it was you and me and Michael Sanchez, Mike Alexander, Harold Smith, Gunnar, Adam and Alex.

Is that right?

That's right.

Oh, and Matthew.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah. For a little bit.

He left a little earlier than the rest of us.

Yeah.

But that was a great time. That was what happened Friday night after the conference is why some of us pay money to go to conferences. That's right. We liked that aspect of it. And we got to talk, we got to encourage one another.

And then we got to have what, like an hour debate on a pre-millennium.

I think it was a little longer than that, but yeah.

Well, but it was good.

It was really good.

And it's okay as we talk about friends and brothers in the Lord, it's okay to disagree about things. Not that they're unimportant, but we were able to have a civil discussion and challenge each other and joke with each other.

It was very, very good and very encouraging. And we probably stayed up a little bit too late. I know you

Right.

Well, it was funny because Matthew, he actually left your house a little earlier, probably an hour before the rest of us. So he was gonna get some sleep or would, he and I were staying in Gunnar's camper.

And so when I got back to the camper, there were some problems getting the heat to work correctly. So he was still awake and we got all that taking care of Gunnar. Man, Gunnar was such a good host. He got everything working on the heat and the water heat and all that stuff.

But I think that Matthew and I stayed up for maybe another hour after that, just discussing some things with some mutual friends and theological things that were going on. So, you know, it's hard to get to bed when you're gathered with brothers like this and just enjoying the fellowship.

You know, you're just excited to be together. A lot of times this, you know, we go for months without seeing these good friends. And it's just a chance to catch up and really kind of have that fellowship time in the Lord.

The Value of Christian Friendship in the Local Church

And then that brings us to Saturday morning. Saturday morning, we opened a little early, had coffee, donuts, those sorts of things. We had a bookstore. So hopefully these are ideas for some of you listening to things, you know, to do in your own conference.

I don't remember how long ago it was, Eddie, but we did an episode on conferences, you know? And so we tried to build in plenty of time for fellowship. That's what I would say about a conference is don't stack everything so quickly on top of each other that you don't have time to hang out, you know?

Because that's one of the things. So anyway, so Saturday morning, what are your thoughts?

You know, I once again really appreciated Mike's message on preaching that pleases the Lord. You know, we want to be pleasing in the way that we preach God's word. And, you know, as he just walked through First Corinthians chapter two there, just sharing about, you know, and you'll listen to him preach.

I'm going, whatever you have to tell me about preaching, I want to hear.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. And it was funny, but that was his longest, that was the longest message of the conference. And that was the message I was just sure, it kind of speaks to Pastor Mike here, if I was just sure that he was going to, I was sure that he was going to go quicker that morning because he had a plane to catch.

Right.

He actually just rared back preaching. And I think it was, you know, like 54 minutes or something. But yeah, because he was even in a hurry that day, but he preached and gave us, you know, the fullness of his time as it were, and even then some preaching that pleases God so good.

And preaching Christ crucified and his resurrection. And so very good. And then Dr. Askell took for the last message of the conference, Acts chapter 20, and worked through the overseers. Was that verse 28?

Is it 28?

Yeah, 28.

Yeah, so he preached that passage and it was very good about who elders are and the need for watching over the church and protecting it from wolves and the blood.

And it was really complimentary with Mike's message that the night before that was taken from the preceding passage.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, like 17 through 27 or whatever it was. So it was very good. Once again, the singing was good. Afterwards, there was lots of hanging out, you know, afterward, and then the conference was over.

So thoughts, comments? Well, we hung out a little bit afterwards too, didn't we?

Yeah, yeah, we did.

We got to spend some more time together. But, you know, really the advantage of these conferences, especially these kind, you know, years ago, I kind of swore off going to the big conferences. And I'm not saying I never will go to another big conference.

I'm sure that I will. But I can't remember how many years ago it's been now. Six, maybe five or six years. But we went, you know, within about a three month span, I went to a couple of the big conferences.

And what I realized in the midst of those conferences was that it was the people that I was traveling with and the time that I was spending with them. You know, I went with you and some of the other brothers from your association, one of those, and then some other brothers from a church in Conway to another one.

And I really realized that what I really got out of the conference was not so much what the speakers had to say, not what John Popper or Votie Bauckham or those brothers shared as helpful as those sermons were, but it was really the time spent with my brothers face-to-face.

And that is even more so the case when you go to these smaller conferences. I would really encourage folks, don't despise these small conferences. When you hear about a conference that's happening an hour away in a like-minded church, go to that.

That is gonna be beneficial even more than just the messages preached. It's gonna be beneficial because of the relationships that are built.

Even if you don't know the speakers, you know, assuming that you know the pastor that's putting it on or whatever, and you know that he's faithful, you don't have to know all the speakers. You don't have to be famous.

Go and listen to them and be edified and encourage one another in the Lord. And, you know, after all that, we really don't have a whole lot left on this episode, but I will mention Dr. Askew did a great job Sunday morning.

He preached from Romans 15, 14 and talked about how we're competent to counsel. So it was good. The whole thing was good. And again, I'll put the link in our show notes, but kind of the last few minutes here, and it kind of ties into this.

We were gonna talk about Christian friendship. And so I'll let you lead in with that. What were your thoughts on that?

Well, I'll tell you one of the thoughts I had, and I was telling Adam Willett, our buddy, Adam Willett, I was telling him this. Actually, when we were visiting after the panel discussion on Thursday night, that I remember a time when events like this conference were something that I just couldn't wait for the next one, because it was just a place where I didn't have a lot of fellowship in the local church where I was at.

And I told him, we were kind of talking about the church that they're planning in El Dorado. And I was kind of sharing about what's going on in our church and got to talk to some other brothers about the things going on in their churches.

And what I told Adam, I said, you know, I'm thankful for what the Lord's doing here at Marshall because there was once a time where I couldn't wait to get around you and Gunnar and Adam. And now I'm looking and I'm seeing that the kind of fellowship that used to, I only had available in these conferences, now is available in my local church.

And once again, I would encourage you, build those kinds of strong Christian friendships wherever you can build them. Because over time, I think the Lord does use that to help us to build stronger fellowship and friendship within our local church.

The Lord has not made us to be islands. He has made us to be people who have strong bonds to other Christians. And those conversations are crucial for the way that we grow up in Christ.

And you need friends that aren't afraid to disagree with you. I think about our good friend, Harold Smith, our conversation Friday night, and, you know, just the willingness to push back and wrestle with scripture.

And you need friends that are willing to point out when they see something going on in your life. You know, that's, we don't like that. Like we live in a society that just wants people to just tell you how great and how wonderful you are.

You know, this is why social media is so popular. It's because you get to put forth whatever image you wanna put forth, you know? And you just want people, you want the likes, you want the compliments.

And that's important in a friendship, don't get me wrong. But also what's important is having those friends and brothers that are willing to pull you aside when something's off in your life and to help you when you're in need, you know?

In that tough, you have some of those friends that it's great to be around, but when you need help, it seems like they're never available, you know? You need those true Christian friends that are willing to be there through thick and thin, willing to encourage you and pray with you, make you, the best friends that you can have are those who make you a better Christian.

Right, right. You mentioned Harold. You know, I remember I had something happen last year in our church. It's been almost a year ago now. And I reached out to a few of you brothers, you and Harold and a few others.

And I'll just tell you, Harold was like, yeah, man, I don't think you're ready for that. You know, he was willing to tell me, he was willing to say something hard, you know, something I didn't wanna hear.

And I do think that ability to either call one another out on sin or to love one another well enough to say the thing that needs to be said, it's more than a Christian acquaintance. These are our brothers and it's real Christian friendship and fellowship.

And I think every one of us as Christians, not just as pastors, but as Christians, we need that kind of friendship and fellowship.

Amen. And I like how you said cultivate those wherever you can. Then obviously, you know, I'm fixing to turn a conversation here, intentionally cultivate those in the church. And sometimes it's really hard.

It's really hard because of different personalities and you have to work really hard and you have to be the one carrying the weight. You have to be the one sending the text. You have to be the one doing the invitation to come over to the house.

I mean, whatever it may be, but it's worth it, right? You know, and be willing to really be a friend. That might be, that might start with like, you know, somebody has got something going on on a Saturday and you say, hey, I'm gonna pitch in and help, you know, but do what you can to cultivate those kinds of friendships.

You know, you can't force them, but you can cultivate them.

Well, and I think two things, one, you've got to show up. And I don't just mean at church. You've got to look

No, I would say not less than that.

Not less than that, right. Certainly not less than show up at church, but you've got to show up. When there are things, when you can show up and be around your brothers and sisters and you can support them in some way, like you said, whether that's helping them with some chore or being a person they can call on when they have a need like that, you've got to be looking for opportunities to show up.

The second thing though, is you've also got to be looking not just to fall into what's comfortable. You know, if you're getting together at someone's house or you're getting together there at the church for a fellowship meal, you know, we've mentioned recently that our church is having regular fellowship meals right now, both on Sunday and Wednesdays.

But listen, if every time we have those meals, everybody just sits with the same people they always sit with, and they kind of have the same conversation they have the last week, then that won't be as conducive as it will be if we're getting around and making sure that we're, hey, I'm going to go over and sit with, you know, I've not talked to this lady or this guy about what's going on in their life in a couple of weeks.

So I'm going to make sure and sit with them and just spend some time hearing about what's happening with their kids and with their family. And like this weekend with our brothers at the conference, you know, I was able to ask some brothers, hey, how are things in your churches?

And I was able to actually hear, oh, well, that's something I need to be praying about. But I didn't even know that that was going on. So we have to go out of our way to connect with one another.

That's good, especially in a smaller church or a rural church, you can kind of have all these boundaries drawn where these people are already friends or whatever. And you need to intentionally go out of the way for that.

And I'll give you some examples too of, you know, like Saturday night, and I intentionally kept this just to our church, but Saturday night we went out with Dr. Askle and John, by the way, getting to meet John was great too.

And hang out with him and what an amazing beard. But we went out And guys just got to talk and chat the whole way there, you know, and again, it's not that you don't talk at church, you do and you fellowship and all that, but man, these times outside of the assembly are really helpful at times, you know?

And it could be even just if you're a pastor listening or, you know, a ministry leader in some way, or, you know, have any kind of influence, could be just something as simple as, hey, Saturday in two weeks, we're going to go out to eat.

Be mindful of people's budget or whatever, but, and we're going to go together. If you can, you have a vehicle and ride together and use the extra time to chat and to talk. I mean, it's just, it's so easy in one sense to cultivate friendships and yet Americans in our individualistic lives, we find it so difficult, but as Christians, we should value godly friendships and it's worth the effort to cultivate those.

Yeah, and, you know,.

The one other thing I'd want to say on that is as much as possible, we don't want it to only be one-off situations. Like we want to make it pretty regular that we're looking for opportunities to have these conversations.

Like I don't want it to be just once every couple of months when we have, you know, we have some kind of special get together, but we're really looking for how can we foster these on just a regular basis?

Because very quickly, if we think that fellowship in local church is just every couple of months, we try to plan an outing for the old folks or we try to plan a fun Friday night for the youth. Those are great.

I'm not saying don't, I'm not saying don't. Take the senior adult class, you know, to see the leaves in the fall or

Yeah, but you're saying

But it would be much more than that.

That's right.

This isn't event-driven friendship.

It's, you know This is life lived together.

That's right. It's kind of like with your family. You love the events, but you don't just live from vacation to vacation.

You know?

That's right.

Vacations are great, but they're a culmination of your life lived together. And so I think that's a good word. So one way, you know, use technology. Man, just about every, like text people, weekly, daily, check in.

Just in this podcast, because you made me think about it, I actually just sent a message to some guys and asked how their Bible reading is going. You know, it's not hard to do. It takes two seconds. Be willing to be a little bit invasive in people's lives.

I'm not talking about rude, but be invasive, love one another. And of course, let me mention this and then we can wrap it up. But obviously here, we're talking about friendships between the same gender.

So men and men and women and women, it's just, you just can't go the other way. You know, there's just, there's just, there's a certain boundaries there that you just, you can't cross. And so, and you need it.

And I need other men in my life to pour into me.

And you do too.

And me and to pour into others. And then ladies, the same is true for you. So, well, that episode went fast. You got any final thoughts?

You know, I'll just say this brother, I really appreciate you as a close friend in the Lord. You know, you came about in my life by God's providence at a pivotal moment. And I was just thinking this morning about how that most of the people outside of my local church, that I would count as some of my best friends in the Lord.

I would, in the natural realm, I can't explain how I would know them other than Quatro Nelson.

That's funny.

I'm thankful not only for you, brother, but for all the relationships you have cultivated in my life.

That's kind, brother. I'm glad I went to that associational meeting that night. This is our 10 year anniversary, man. You know that?

I know, yeah, that's right.

What are you getting me?

Yeah, well, it's not quite time. That'll be the fall.

I got some good news for you. When this episode airs, the following Sunday, I'll be at your church.

Man, I can't wait. I think it's gonna be an awesome day in the Lord. We're just gonna fellowship. We're gonna do a lot of these things that we talked about in this podcast that day. I'm looking forward to it.

Yeah, I'm glad. I'm grateful that Jacob Robinson's able to preach here and we're just excited about it. Well, we've got a couple more episodes and then we'll have officially surpassed Rural Church Podcast 1 .0.

Thank you for joining us in Rural Church Podcast 2 .0. Say goodbye, Eddie.

We'll see you guys next week.

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