TLP 63: Evangelism Parenting

All ambassador parents are consumed with the gospel from beginning to end, but evangelism parenting is specifically guiding your child toward salvation through the mundane elements.

Of life.

Welcome to Truth.

Love.

Parent.

Where we use God's Word to become intentional, premeditated parents. Here's your host, AM Brewster.

For those of you who haven't yet figured out if your children are hard, rocky, thorny, or soft-hearted, I suggest you listen to The 4 Children Episodes 55 -59. For the rest of you, if you believe your children are hard, rocky, or thorny, then the sad reality is that they are unsaved, even though they may appear very spiritually minded or enjoy doing biblical things.

I've communicated with many of you recently over email, and though coming to the conclusion that your child likely isn't born again is a heavy reality, at least you know your children need an evangelist parent.

But more on that in a minute. On iTunes, we currently have 9 amazing reviews and 12 5-star ratings. Will you please consider adding to those numbers? Team TLP and I would greatly appreciate it, because the more 5-star ratings and positive reviews we have, the more searching parents can find our podcast and hear how God's Word applies to their parenting.

And the more people who subscribe to TLP and download our episodes, the better chances we have of getting onto a new and noteworthy list, which increases our exposure. So thank you in advance for your help.

What Is Evangelism Parenting?

Alright, so what exactly is evangelism parenting? The first question we need to answer in order to understand this is, what's an evangelist? Well, the biblical office of an evangelist is basically a publisher of glad tidings.

In a modern context, often this individual travels frequently from church to church or from camp to camp. This makes them less like a traditional pastor because their main goal is to introduce as many people to the gospel as possible.

After leading a soul to Christ, they connect them with a local body of believers to help them in their discipleship and sanctification. In regard to parenting, I use the term evangelism parenting or evangelist parent to refer to a specific form of child-rearing that focuses on introducing a lost child to Christ so that they follow Him and are born again into the family of God.

In the strictest sense, the parent would cease to be an evangelist parent at this point because their child is now a believer. Now they start discipleship parenting. I also want to distinguish it just simply from sharing your testimony with a child or by sitting down with them and sharing them the gospel within the context of an open Bible.

Evangelist parenting goes far beyond that where you're actually speaking the gospel in and through every facet of life, and we're going to talk about more what that looks like in a minute. However, I don't want anyone to be confused.

The evangelist parent is not somehow a substitute for the ambassador parent, okay? All ambassador parenting is gospel-centered parenting. Evangelism parenting is simply a stage of ambassador parenting that focuses on encouraging your child to accept the good news of salvation.

If you don't know what ambassador parenting means, please check out episodes 26 and 27. My main concern in this discussion is that no one thinks that once our kids get saved, we stop talking about the gospel with them.

Please may that never be. So of course, we need to understand what the gospel is. What is it? Well, technically, the gospel is just the good news of Christ's life, death, burial, and resurrection. But even though we generally consider those events only during Christmas, Easter, and when witnessing to someone, the reality is that the gospel needs to motivate our every thought and deed.

The Gospel Shapes Parenting

In episode 52, I discussed two amazing parenting resources. One of them was truthloveparent .com. Right now, you can find some helpful information, our episode notes, transcripts, and the like, but in the future, we want truthloveparent .com to be the hub of all things parenting.

But the second resource I mentioned was a book written by Paul Tripp called simply Parenting. I think it's one of the best parenting books out there, and it's 100 consumed with the gospel. In the introduction to his book, he says, I am deeply persuaded that what is missing in most Christian parents' parenting are the big grand perspectives and principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

These perspectives and principles are radical and counterintuitive. They're simply not natural for us, but they're essential to being what you're supposed to be and doing what you're supposed to do as a parent.

When you parent with what the gospel says about God, you, your world, your children, and God's grace, you not only approach parenting in brand new ways, but you can carry the burden of parenting in a very different way.

So please understand that ambassador parents are consumed with the gospel from beginning to end, but evangelism parenting is specifically guiding your child towards salvation through the mundane elements of life.

So I want to take the remainder of our time just to get nitty gritty about the evangelism parenting and how it works from day to day. So what is evangelism parenting? Well, either because your child has never accepted Christ as their Savior, or they made a profession, but you're concerned they seem to have a rocky or thorny heart.

You should consider the following five steps to being an evangelist parent. Number one, you must be passionate about your child's eternal destiny. Now this may seem like an easy one, but it's so simple to get sidetracked by the failed potty training attempt, the dented bumper, the broken curfew, or the failed science project that we mistakenly think these issues are bigger or more important than our child's.

Salvation.

How do we know if we're not passionate enough about our kid's relationship with God? Well, first, when issues come up in the home, are you more concerned with the behavior and attitude, or are you struck in that moment by your child's need of the Savior?

Second, when things are going well, are you happy to have an obedient child, or are you vividly aware that your respectful A student is still an enemy of Christ? So first, we need to be passionate about our child's eternal destiny.

Second, we need to know the gospel. My assumption is that if you're listening to this podcast, you probably profess to have a relationship with God. So no doubt you at least have an introductory understanding of salvation, what it is, how we attain it, whether or not we can lose it, and so on and so forth.

But I would strongly encourage you if you're a little shaky on these elements, I would just I urge you to get your Bible out and start studying. I don't believe we can have a vibrant relationship with God if we don't even understand the basics of how to have a relationship with Him in the first place.

In fact, there are certain facts about redemption that if you don't know them, you really can't be saved. In addition to the personal benefit of understanding the glory and grandeur of our salvation, you're going to have to be able to introduce your children to them.

This is not merely the job of the pastor or Sunday school teacher or Christian school teacher. This is primarily the responsibility of mom and dad. Sure, any born-again believer has been called by God to share the gospel with anyone who hasn't been born again, and that includes your child.

But please understand that it's primarily your privilege. Number three, we need to understand how the gospel affects everything in life. This is where Paul Tripp's book, Parenting, is so helpful. It takes the idea of the gospel, something too many Christians think only has to do with being saved, and applies it to our parenting.

Beyond that, of course, we need to understand how the gospel works to conform us to Christ, how it's lived out in our words, actions, feelings, and thoughts, and how any struggle, decision, or activity can be tied back to it.

Now, before we move on, I don't want you to feel overwhelmed. Yes, this is a big topic. Parenting normally is. I would plead with you again to read Parenting by Paul Tripp. This would be a fantastic place to start, especially if you're just sitting there right now going, I don't know any of this, how am I supposed to learn it?

But please don't think that until you can completely and comfortably apply the gospel to the clothes you wear and the foods you eat that you're incapable of being an evangelist parent. No, you have to be faithful in what you know, and God will entrust you with more as you study and grow.

And really, our kids can't afford for us to wait to be perfect parents before we start parenting the way God wants us to. Okay, so a quick review of what it means to be an evangelist parent. You need to be passionate about your child's eternal destiny.

Two, know the gospel. Three, understand how the gospel affects everything in life. And four, you need to speak your child's need into their life. You need to speak your child's need into their life. This is where the pacifier meets the carpet.

It's been said that an alcoholic won't seek help until he first acknowledges that he has a problem. And the same is true for sin. Until we see ourselves as God sees us, we don't think we need saving. This is especially true for kids who are born into a stable home with high expectations for behavior.

As they compare themselves to the rest of the world, they feel pretty good about their lives and they don't see the wicked self-worship sitting on the throne of their hearts. It's so important to help your children see their needs.

I'm constantly reminding my kids why God gave them a mom and a dad. When one of them makes a poor choice, we walk them through why it was destructive and what needs to be done the next time, but we also frequently remind them that they can't do it on their own.

We also tell them that foolishness is knotted up in their hearts and that only God's Word can untangle it. And unfortunately, many people may cringe at this because they're concerned about their child's quote-unquote self-esteem, but ladies and gentlemen, we mustn't buy into that lie.

Obviously, it would be a sin to be unkind and unloving while convincing our children of their spiritual inability. But showing a person their sin and their need for a Savior is the most loving thing you can do.

Remember Jesus' words in the Sermon on the Mount, until a person becomes convinced of their spiritual poverty, they will never submit to God. This will take some practice and isn't always easy to do correctly, but please try to get in the habit of showing all of your children their need for Christ.

No part of life can be done on our own and we'd be lying to ourselves and our children to suggest otherwise. Now, up until this point, all four of these points are vital for any and all parents. We all need to be passionate about our children's relationship with God.

We all need to understand the gospel and how it applies to life. And all of us need to be reminded how spiritually needy we are. But this last step is the one that distinguishes evangelism parenting from discipleship parenting.

Salvation Answers in Everyday Life

Number five, speak salvation's answers into your child's life. Your children are going to sin. In fact, your unsaved children cannot help but sin. This doesn't mean they're going to be as wicked as they possibly could be, but it does mean that even their righteous works are like filthy rags in God's eyes.

Now, I don't intend to gross anyone out, but we're all adults here and we need to be faithful to the text. In Isaiah 64 6, we're told that we have all become like one who is unclean and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.

The Hebrew word interpreted polluted in this verse actually refers to cloth soiled by menstrual.

Fluid.

You see what I mean? If I'm unsaved, even my attempts to be good are disgusting to God. Why is this? Well, if I'm not a child of God, then I'm his enemy. I'm trying to live my life without him. I'm shaking my tiny fist in his face and telling him I can do it on my own.

I'm calling him a liar by suggesting that I don't need him. If I buy Girl Scout cookies or shovel my neighbor's driveway or donate to charity or rescue an abandoned puppy, if I do any of these things in my own power for my own glory, God is disgusted.

By it.

He's the one we should be living for. That's not our job. We don't get to be the rulers of our existence or the ends of our means. God is the one who rules us all. He is the one who jealously and deservedly gets to make those calls in our lives.

So as your child attempts to meander through their life according to their own will and their own power and for their own glory, you need to show them that only a relationship with God can answer the questions they have, provide the satisfaction and comfort they seek, and guarantee true spiritual success.

Okay, so let me try to show you what this may look like. It's not a script. It's just an example. Let's work through all these steps given a hypothetical situation with my kids. All right, so number one, I'm so passionate about my child's relationship with God that it weighs on me throughout the day.

It's not a hopeless fear or depression, but it's a constant reality that if my child were to die right now, they would slip into a Christless eternity. Now I'm not going to discuss the age of accountability or anything like that today, but suffice it to say there's nothing more important to me than my child's submission to Christ in salvation.

Of course, this obviously should be true of everyone I meet who's an unbeliever. Number two, I also have a vibrant relationship with God where I'm studying His Word and daily learning more about my salvation.

This enables me to do what 1 Peter 3 .15 says by easily giving an answer for the hope that's in me. It doesn't matter if it's my seventh grader or a stranger, I feel comfortable explaining the gospel from God's Word.

Number three, in my Bible study, I've also been learning how the gospel affects multiple facets of my life. I'm no expert, but this knowledge helps me to see moments in my child's day where I can tie in a biblical principle or make an important biblical point.

Four, so the moment comes. My child hurls an insult toward his sibling. Here's an example of simultaneously showing my child his need and allowing the truths of salvation to speak into his life. Hey buddy, what you said was very unkind.

The child responds with a variation of, yeah, but she, and I say, you know, Jesus, the creator of the universe, was beaten and cursed and murdered by His creation, but He didn't speak a single unkind word.

In fact, everything He said was in love. He stopped His disciples from attacking the guards coming to arrest Him. He even asked His Father to forgive the people crucifying Him. You see, Jesus could do that because He's God.

There was no sin in Him, but He died on the cross to replace our sin with His righteousness so we unkind humans could have the ability to love the way He loves. I know it's hard to speak kindly to your sister, especially when she's not being nice herself.

In fact, it's actually impossible without the Holy Spirit to help you, but you must speak kindly. God does not allow unloving communication. Now at this point, I could do one of two things. I could allow the illustration to stand, providing him the opportunity to draw the necessary conclusions, or I could potentially prompt my child to make a choice to draw him even closer.

This all depends on your child, the previous conversations you've had, the state of their heart, the situation, etc. But regardless of any of those, we must be constantly spreading the truth of God on the soil of our children's lives.

This is different than discipleship parenting. If my child claimed to be a believer and was showing fruits of repentance and they were being unkind to their sibling, I would probably take them to other passages, like in Matthew chapter 5 where it tells us that when we say unkind things to people, then there's judgment.

For that.

I could take them to the other passages where it says to be kind. But the reality is, a child who's not, doesn't have a relationship with God, who's not interested in all in what God has to say, really is not necessarily going to be convinced with thus saith the Lord, because they're really worshiping themselves and they don't care too much what God says.

But in this example of evangelism parenting, what you've done is you've just simply showed them their need. You can't be kind. It's impossible for you unless you submit to God. And that's the difference between the discipleship and the evangelism parenting.

Now you might be thinking, I never would have thought to use the example of Christ on the cross. And that's okay. That's why we're talking about it. Truth Love Parent is committed to providing you the answers and tools to be an ambassador parent, whether that means being an evangelist parent or a discipleship parent, regardless of where you are in your stage with your kids.

Now, please don't hesitate to write us at counselor at truthloveparent .com for specific advice for evangelizing your unsaved child. And don't miss the episode notes at truthloveparent .com, which are linked in the description.

Closing Encouragement and Next Episode

Now before I tell you about our Father's Day episode, I want to thank Kara for being one of our patrons. Her support enables us to continue dealing with these really vital parenting subjects. If you'd be interested in supporting TLP as well, please click the support TLP link in the description.

Okay, so our next episode is entitled, Dads, Are We Worth Celebrating? Tune in next time to learn how to be a parent worth celebrating, whether you're a mom or.

A dad.

And we also please consider liking, following, and subscribing to our various social media pages. You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and YouTube. The Bible says that God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

I don't doubt that you want your child to accept Christ as their Savior, but are you spreading the gospel seed every opportunity you get?

Truth.

Love.

Parents.

Is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional, premeditated parent. Join us next time as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.