WWUTT 354 David and His Many Wives?

David’s First Wife Michal and the Question of Taking Her Back

The Lord was with David, and he grew greater in power, becoming king not only over Judah, but also over Israel. And we'll see him anointed as king of Israel in today's reading, where we're also going to talk about polygamy, when we understand the text.

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Here's our host, Pastor Gabe.

Thank you, Becky. We continue our Old Testament study today, 2 Samuel chapters four and five is where we'll be. But before getting there, I wanted to address a question that I've received a few times since last week's lesson, and I figured I'd go ahead and answer it here instead of waiting until the Q &A tomorrow.

It has to do with David's many wives. David's a polygamist, is God okay with that? And we even had the instance that we read about last week in chapter three of David taking someone's wife from them. So in chapter three, verses two through five, we have a list of the sons that were born to David while he was at Hebron, king over Judah.

At that time, Ish-bosheth, the son of Saul, was king over Israel. And so the two decided to be reconciled. Ish-bosheth is ready to give his kingdom over to David. So in verse 14 of chapter three, David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul's son, saying, give me my wife, Michal, for whom I paid the bridal price of 104 skins of the Philistines.

And Ish-bosheth sent and took her from her husband, Paltiel, the son of Laish. But her husband went with her, weeping after her all the way to Baharim. Then Abner said to him, go return, and he returned.

So here we have an instance of David even taking somebody's wife from them. Is that okay? Well, first of all, let's address that instance of David taking Michal from Paltiel. If you'll remember, Michal was David's first wife.

After he defeated Goliath, and he did everything that Saul asked of him to do, Saul gave his daughter, Michal, to David, and that was David's first wife. But then Saul had men that came upon the house of David and meant to kill him.

And so Michal helped David get out the window, escape out the window and away from these men that were seeking his life. And Michal covered for David. And Saul said, why have you let my enemy go? And Michal said, well, he threatened my life.

And so Michal was kind of trying to cover for herself because Saul was even willing to attempt to take the life of his own son, Jonathan. Michal feared for her life also. So she made up this story about David threatening her life.

And so Saul gave Michal instead to, well, in 1 Samuel 25, his name is listed as Paltie, not Paltiel, but that was the same guy. Paltie, the son of Laish, who was of Galim. And so Michal became Paltie's wife, but she was still David's wife.

Like David wasn't okay with that. He was fleeing from Saul for his life, but still had a love and an affection for his first wife, Michal. So in this truce that he's making with Ish-bosheth, he is asking Ish-bosheth to show his loyalty to David by giving him his sister.

So giving David Ish-bosheth's sister, Michal, the daughter of Saul. And so Ish-bosheth took her from her husband Paltiel, which was not something that David was okay with. It was something that Saul had done.

So, and likely Michal would rather have been with David because it talks about in 1 Samuel how much she really loved David. He was who her heart was with, but so she would not be embarrassed and she would not be left to probably a life of destitution.

Saul had given Michal over to Paltie to be married to him instead. So in this instance, as we read about it in 2 Samuel 3, Michal is not being taken from anybody by David. David is sending for a wife who rightfully was his own bride and Ish-bosheth was honoring of that request.

Now, as for David's other wives, so let's go from the question of the situation with Michal to the fact that David has many wives. Is this all right? Well, understand that we're looking at this from a perspective of the Christian age that we live in now, where things have been reformed back to their originally intended purpose.

When we talk about reformation, reformation is not just something that happened beginning October 31st of 1517. And now this year we're in the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation. It's not just something that happened there.

Reformation has been going on since the very beginning of the church. Christ reformed back to God's originally intended purpose, even the institution of marriage. Many people in the church tend to refer to the apostle Paul as the first reformer because he was reforming the church back to what God originally intended it to be, what Christ wanted his church to be.

You look at the church in Corinth and the church in Galatia and some of these other things, and you have the church that was planted, but immediately there's this decline in sanctification within that church.

And so Paul comes in and seeks to reform that church back to what it was meant to be when the gospel was first introduced to them. So Christ even reformed the institution of marriage. In Matthew 19, where you have the Pharisees that come to him and are trying to catch him in a catch -22.

And they say, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause? And Jesus answered, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let man not separate. And they said to him, why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?

And Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery.

So was polygamy not adultery? Well, in some sense it was, but it was something that God allowed to happen in a patriarchal society, which was the period of time in which David was King and then later Solomon who had 700 wives.

We read about that. I think it's first Kings chapter 11, where it talks about that. So, and then there Solomon's loyalty to the Lord was split between his sympathy for his wives and obedience to God. And so Solomon instead sympathize with his wives in his worship of the false gods that they worship from the pagan lands that they came from.

And so he built temples to those false gods and fell out of favor with God. And so this is actually commanded in the book of Deuteronomy that a King is not supposed to have many wives because his commitment to the Lord will be torn to his commitment to his wives.

That's what's being talked about there in the book of Deuteronomy. But remember, this is all happening in a patriarchal culture. This is also a very war-torn culture, especially in this time when there are still pagans in the land that are being driven out by Judah and by Israel.

And so war was very common. You would have men that would go off to war, they would die in war, and then their women, their wives would be left as widows and likely very young widows. And so what would end up happening there was either she would become a prostitute or she would become a slave.

And so that she would be taken care of, she would be given over either to a levirate marriage or she would become the wife of somebody that already had a wife. And so, and this was just the system that was incorporated at this particular period of time so a woman would be taken care of.

It was likely that women outnumbered men. There were more women than men in a society at that time, especially when you're talking about a war-torn culture. And so there's more women who would probably be left to singleness.

And so there were husbands that would take those wives and have a plurality of wives. And that was just allowed because of a hardness of heart. As Jesus talked about in Matthew chapter 19, it was not God's intention from the very beginning, but he allowed for it to happen so that everybody within the theocracy would be provided for.

And so that's why David has these multiple wives, this plurality of wives, and yet is still referred to as a man after God's own heart. It's not the ideal situation and it's not the way that God set up marriage to be.

And it's not something that we should find an excuse to exercise or practice in the church today, especially when you consider that it is stated explicitly in 1 Timothy chapter three and in Titus chapter one, that one of the qualifications of an overseer is that he is to be the husband of one wife.

A pastor in a church is to be the husband of one wife. Now, that phrase is debated in many different ways, especially in our American culture today. It means that a man can't have previously been divorced at all.

You know, other ways that we tend to debate that phrase, but you certainly could not take that phrase to mean that it's okay for a pastor to have multiple wives. And if a pastor is supposed to be the example for his church, so the rest of the church should follow that example.

One man, one woman. That's the way that God intended marriage to be. And that's the way that we need to practice marriage. So in no way should we look at these characters in the Old Testament, these men of the faith in the Old Testament, who are the patriarchs, men like Abraham and Jacob, who had multiple wives.

And then you also have David and Solomon. And by the way, I stand firm that Moses did not have more than one wife. He only had one wife. I've explained that before, won't go into that because it's off topic.

But anyway, you still have some of these figures in the Old Testament that had more than one wife. They're not an example in that sense, that we are allowed to have multiple wives. But again, this was a patriarchal culture in which women were subservient to men.

They ended up in a very destitute situation if they did not have a husband. And so that they would be provided for God, allowed for polygamy to happen in Israel. And understand that polygamy is not an equal sin to homosexuality.

These plural wives are not sleeping with one another. The husband is with one wife in the marriage bed. It's not like an orgy is taking place. And so the practice of sexuality is still as God intended it to be.

Homosexuality is an abomination to the Lord. So that's not what's going on in a pluralistic marriage. You know, there are still cultures and societies in the world today that practice plural marriage.

And when a missionary goes into those cultures in those regions, and you have men who were following in paganism, and they repent of their sins, and they come to follow Jesus Christ, they're not being told to divorce their wives because that would actually be a terrible situation for that culture and that society if that were to happen.

They're to remain married to the wives that they got married to while they were a pagan, but they teach their children that when they grow up and get married, they're supposed to only take one spouse.

So this still happens in the world. And when missionaries go into those regions and make disciples, they're supposed to remain faithful to their spouses, but then teach their children what God originally intended for marriage.

And that is one man and one woman for life. So let's continue on here with 2 Samuel 4 -5. I'm halfway through with the lesson here today, but I think we can still get through these two chapters. When Ish-bosheth Saul's son heard that Abner had died at Hebron, his courage failed and all Israel was dismayed.

Now Saul's son had two men who were captains of raiding bands. The name of the one was Bena and the name of the other Rehob, sons of Ramon, a man of Benjamin from Beeroth. For Beeroth also is counted part of Benjamin.

The Beerothites fled to Getaim and have been sojourners there to this day. Jonathan, the son of Saul, had a son who was crippled in his feet. He was five years old when the news about Saul and Jonathan came from Jezreel and his nurse took him up and fled.

And as she fled in her haste, he fell and became lame. And his name was Mephibosheth. We're gonna read about Mephibosheth coming up here again in chapter nine. So just log that name in your mind and it will come up again.

Now the sons of Ramon the Beerothite, Rehob and Bena, set out and about the heat of the day, they came to the house of Ishbosheth as he was taking his noonday rest. And they came into the midst of the house as if to get wheat and they stabbed him in the stomach.

Then Rehob and Bena, his brother, escaped. When they came into the house, as he lay on his bed in his bedroom, they struck him and put him to death and beheaded him. They took his head and went by the way of the Erebah all night and brought the head of Ishbosheth to David at Hebron.

And they said to the king, here is the head of Ishbosheth, the son of Saul, your enemy, who sought your life. The Lord has avenged my Lord, the king this day on Saul and on his offspring. But David answered Rehob and Bena, his brother, the sons of Ramon the Beerothite, as the Lord lives, who has redeemed my life out of every adversity.

When one told me, behold, Saul is dead and thought he was bringing good news, I seized him and killed him at Ziklag, which was the reward I gave him for his news. How much more, when wicked men have killed a righteous man in his own house on his bed, shall I not now require his blood at your hand and destroy you from the earth?

And David commanded his young men and they killed him and cut off their hands and feet and hanged them beside the pool at Hebron. But they took the head of Ishbosheth and buried it in the tomb of Abner at Hebron.".

So what we have in chapters three and four are the deaths of Abner and Ishbosheth respectively. And in both instances, the writer of 2 Samuel means to show that David was innocent of both men's death and also the men who killed them.

In the case of Ishbosheth, Rehob and Bena were coming to David and thinking that they're gonna get some sort of reward for what it is that they've done. Their blood is on their own hands. Rehob and Bena, the deaths of these men are not David's responsibility.

They brought their sentence on their own heads because of the murder of Ishbosheth. So once again, David's seen as pure and innocent in regards to the death of those men and the death of Abner and Ishbosheth.

David Is Anointed King Over Israel

Chapter five now,. "'Then all the tribes of Israel came to David at Hebron and said, behold, we are your bone and flesh. In times past, when Saul was king over us, it was you who led out and brought in Israel.

And the Lord said to you, you shall be shepherd of my people Israel and you shall be prince over Israel. So all the elders of Israel came to the king at Hebron and King David made a covenant with them at Hebron before the Lord and they anointed David king over Israel.

David was 30 years old when he began to reign and he reigned 40 years. At Hebron, he reigned over Judah seven years and six months and at Jerusalem, he reigned over all Israel and Judah for 33 years.".

And so next, we're gonna read about David's siege of Jerusalem. Now, when we go back to the book of Genesis, when Abraham had rescued his nephew Lot from Chedder Latimer, king of Elam, and he brought a 10th of the spoil to Melchizedek, the king priest at Salem, this is Jerusalem.

Salem was what would eventually become Jerusalem. And so David is taking back this city again and it becomes the capital city of all Israel. So in verse six, the king and his men went to Jerusalem against the Jebusites, the inhabitants of the land who said to David, you will not come in here, but the blind and the lame will ward you off thinking David cannot come in here.

Like he can't come in here. When they say that the blind and the lame will ward you off, they're saying that Jerusalem was so fortified that they didn't even need able-bodied men in order to fight David and his men.

So it's like, hey, we're too protected a city. There's no way that you can get in here. Verse seven, nevertheless, David took the stronghold of Zion, that is the city of David. And David said on that day, whoever would strike the Jebusites, let him get up the water shaft to attack the lame and the blind who are hated by David's soul.

Therefore it is said the blind and the lame shall not come into the house. And that's not talking about actual blind men and actual lame men. It's referring to the Jebusites. So they were not allowed in Jerusalem for that day forward.

And David lived in the stronghold and called it the city of David. And David built the city all around from the millow inward. And David became greater and greater for the Lord, the God of hosts was with him.

And Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David and cedar trees, also carpenters and masons who built David a house. And David knew that the Lord had established him king over Israel and that he had exalted his kingdom for the sake of his people Israel.

And David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem after he came from Hebron and more sons and daughters were born to David. And these are the names of those who were born to him in Jerusalem. Shamuah, Shobob, Nathan, Solomon, Ibhar, Elishua, Nepheg, Jephiah, Elishamah, Eliadah, and Eliphelet.

When the Philistines heard that David had been anointed king over Israel, all the Philistines went up to search for David. But David heard of it and went down to the stronghold. Now the Philistines had come and had spread out in the valley of Rephaim.

And David inquired of the Lord, shall I go up against the Philistines? Will you give them into my hand? And the Lord said to David, go up, for I will certainly give the Philistines into your hand. And David came to Baal-perazim and David defeated them there.

And he said, the Lord has broken through my enemies before me like a breaking flood. Therefore, the name of that place is called Baal-perazim. And the Philistines left their idols there and David and his men carried them away.

And the Philistines came up yet again and spread out in the valley of Rephaim. And when David inquired of the Lord, he said, you shall not go up, go around to their rear and come against them opposite the balsam trees.

And when you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, then rouse yourself for then the Lord has gone out before you to strike down the army of the Philistines. And David did as the Lord commanded him and struck down the Philistines from Geba to Gezer.

And that's where it is that we're going to conclude. So we see in the middle part of chapter five there that David took more concubines and more wives from Jerusalem. So coming back once again to what we started talking about, we have this instruction that's given to us in Ephesians chapter five, beginning in verse 22.

The apostle Paul says, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.

So I mentioned before that the instruction that's given to pastors, to overseers of the church in first Timothy chapter three and in Titus chapter one, that he be the husband of one wife. And so he sets an example for the rest of the church to follow.

God's intention for marriage is one man and one woman for life. Our greatest example is not the pastor, but Christ himself who has one wife and that is the church. Christ is our example for marriage and marriage is a picture of the relationship that Christ has with his church.

And so we should always understand marriage to be between a man and a woman for life. Let us pray and we will conclude. Our Lord God, we thank you so much for the instructions that you have given us in your word and the examples that you have set forth for us.

And so may we follow our ultimate example, Jesus Christ, in all things, in conduct, in the ways that we treat one another, in the ways that we are to live and even in the very institution of marriage, which you created.

Let us look at this as a picture of the way that Christ loves his church and as we are supposed to submit to Christ in all things. Help us to do so more and more as we grow in the knowledge of your word, and we look forward to submitting to its authority in the name of Christ we pray, amen.

This is a protection of First Southern Baptist Church in Junction City, Kansas. Find us on the web at www .utt .com.