WWUTT 1521 To the Unmarried and to Widows (1 Corinthians 7:8-9)

Paul’s Teaching on the Unmarried and the Widows

Have you ever considered that the Apostle Paul was previously married? When Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 -8, I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they remain. Even as I am, we get some hints there when we understand the text.

This is when we understand the text studying God's word to reach all the riches of full assurance in Christ. Thank you for subscribing, and if this has ministered to you, please let others know about our program.

Here once again is Pastor Gabe Hughes.

Thank you, Becky. We come back to our study of the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 7 this week, and I'm going to begin here by reading verses 6 -16 out of the Legacy Standard Bible, the Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Corinth.

But this I say as a concession, not as a command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one this way and another that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.

But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. But to the married I give instructions, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband.

But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband, and that the husband should not divorce his wife. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.

And a woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband.

For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? So last week we looked primarily at verses 6 and 7. This is where we concluded on Wednesday with Paul saying, this I say as a concession, not as a command.

Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. And that is in reference to being single. And again, this is not a command. So we had considered last week how, you know, the Catholic church will take this as a command for their priests, that they must remain unmarried.

But as Paul told Timothy in 1 Timothy 4, this is the teaching of demons to forbid marriage for anybody. So this is most certainly not what Paul is saying here. He says this as a concession, it is not a command that you remain single.

And he explains a little bit later on that there are some difficult things going on in this world. And I want to spare you the difficulties of having to also balance marriage and parenting in the midst of especially the persecution that is to come.

And we'll talk about that as we continue on here in chapter 7. But in the meantime, he he urges singleness, but concedes this point in this way. However, each man has his own gift from God, one this way and another that.

And we consider that last week with regards to some being given a gift of singleness. That's why you'll see some articles that are written out there and make this reference to a gift of singleness, because Paul calls it a gift right here.

Marriage is a gift and singleness is a gift. There are some who don't desire to marry at all. And so it is a gifting unto them that they would remain single. As Jesus said to his disciples in Matthew chapter 19, there's only some to whom this is given to be married.

And so if it is given to you to be married, then you must marry and regard your marriage in this way. Under the definition that Christ gives of marriage there in Matthew 19, when he's responding to the Pharisees, because Jesus is the one who created marriage.

So therefore he has the right to define it, that a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let man not separate.

And we've seen that come up several times, even here, as we've read in first Corinthians chapter six, and now here in chapter seven, and it had regarded those things last week. So to some, it is given to be married.

And if they are going to be married, they must remain married. But to those who are not married, let it not be any kind of pressure upon them to get married, but that they would remain single. And even this is a gift from God.

Now there are some that are single and it's not of their choosing. They would much rather be married, but perhaps have just never found a mate or it got later on in life and the pickings were slim at that point.

Even if you are single and it is not your desire to be single, yet you must commit yourself unto God and give thanks to him for your condition. For as Paul said to the Thessalonians in first Thessalonians chapter five, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

If you desire to be married, it is not wrong for you to pray for a mate. Take that unto the Lord and who knows, maybe he will still gift you with marriage here in this life. Remember, Paul is saying this not as a command, so he's not commanding you to remain single.

There are good Christians who get married even later in life. Now regarding what Paul says here in verses eight and nine, there's something unique that's happening here. And I read this from Denny Burke a few years ago.

He had preached a sermon in March of 2018, or at least that's when he posted it on his blog. And he made an argument that from these verses, we can actually conclude that Paul used to be married. Let me read to you here from Denny Burke, a professor at Boyce College, the undergraduate arm of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Here's what Denny Burke says. Here's how we know that Paul was once married. Paul writes to the unmarried in the widows. I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. If we want to understand how this verse applies to us, we need first of all to consider to whom it is addressed.

Your English versions say that Paul addresses the unmarried and the widows. It's clear what Paul means by widows. He's referring to any woman who was once married, but whose husband has died. But to whom is Paul referring when he says the unmarried?

Some readers interpret the unmarried generically as anyone who happens to be unmarried, regardless of how they got into that situation. For this reason, they think that the unmarried would include both the widowed, the divorced, and those who have never been married.

On this view, Paul means to address all Christians who happen to be unmarried. I think this interpretation is mistaken. It may be that Paul's words have implications for all who are unmarried, but I think Paul's reference to the unmarried refers to widowers specifically.

There are a number of reasons for this, not the least of which is the fact that the Greek word for widower was rarely used in ancient Greek and was never used in the Koine period. For some reason, first century speakers did not use the word widower.

My hunch is that they didn't use it because of the negative social connotation attached to the term. In the first century, a widow was not only bereft of her husband, she was also often destitute. It was a patriarchal culture, and to be without a husband was to be in an extremely vulnerable position.

That vulnerability is why the widows and orphans are often paired together in the Bible, for example, James 1 .27. In patriarchal culture, where there is no social security safety net, widows and orphans are extremely socially disadvantaged.

A husband who lost his wife in that culture did not experience the same social hardship that a widow did. A widow is unmarried and destitute, but a man who loses his wife is simply unmarried. He is not destitute.

And I suspect that is why Paul and other Greek writers did not use the term widower to refer to such men. They were simply unmarried. Paul uses the term unmarried two other times in this chapter to refer to those who were previously married.

In verse 11, unmarried clearly refers to someone who was previously married but divorced. In verse 34, an unmarried person is distinguished from virgins who have never been married. That leads me to believe that unmarried in verse 8 also refers to someone who has been previously married.

The gender is masculine in Greek, and when paired with widows, it seems like Paul means to address those who were previously married but whose spouses have passed away. And what does Paul say to these widows and widowers?

It is good for them to remain single as I am. I would tweak one small thing about the ESV rendering. It's not as literal as it could be. There is no Greek term that corresponds to the word single. So if you just drop that word, it gives you a more literal sense.

It is good for them to remain as I am. Remain means to continue on in a certain state of existence. In their case, that state was one of widowhood. And Paul says, as I am. This suggests that Paul is putting himself into the same category as they are.

But it is not a category of singleness in general, but a category of widowhood in particular. It is for this reason that many interpreters, including myself, believe that these words imply that Paul was previously married.

I don't believe it is the case that Paul was never married. In fact, it would have been nearly unthinkable to imagine a never married Pharisee. As an exemplary Pharisee, as Paul talks about in Philippians 3, 5, and 6, Paul would have sought to fulfill the creation mandate to be fruitful and multiply, which means he almost certainly would have been married at some point.

And verse 8 seems to confirm that he was in fact married, but subsequently widowed. How has Paul spent his life since being a widower? He has completely devoted himself to the gospel ministry. Marriage has certain responsibilities that come with it, and Paul was thrilled to remain free from those responsibilities so that he could pursue with single-minded devotion the ministry to which God had called him.

Think about it. Could Paul have traveled all over the Roman world for two decades if he had a wife and children at home to care for? Of course not. Paul is simply expressing here that it is good for widows and widowers to choose to remain unattached for similar purposes.

They don't have to feel any pressure to remarry simply because they were married before. God may give them a post-marriage life like Paul has, and if so, it is not a less-than life. It is a glorious calling to remain unmarried.

But then Paul qualifies, verse 9,. The text doesn't actually say if they cannot exercise self-control. It says if they are not exercising self-control. It does not necessarily refer to a sinful lack of self-control.

It could be referring to one who finds their desire for marital relations to be a constant distraction. Paul is simply saying that if you find yourself in that situation, then you should get married. Of course, Paul understands that not everyone has the same opportunities to marry.

So I think he means that it is good and right to pursue marriage if or when the opportunity emerges. Paul's unmarried example should not at all constrain a believing widow or widower from remarrying. Why?

For it is better to marry than to burn. This phrase can mean one of two things. One, it is better to marry than to burn with passion, as the ESV has it. Or two, it is better to marry than to burn in judgment.

When I first began teaching as a college professor, I was actually teaching this very text in one of my classes. I had a classroom of undergraduates before me, all of whom were in the vicinity of 18 to 21 years old, except for one student.

I had one elderly widow in that class who was 83 years old, and she had decided that she wanted to come back to school and learn the Bible, and so there she was in the midst of all these whippersnapper undergraduates, and it was great.

But I was teaching this text about widows, and when I laid out the interpretive options, it is better to marry than to burn with passion, or to burn in judgment, she spoke up and it interjected with force and conviction.

She said, oh, I think it means to burn with passion. I remember at that moment being kind of stunned because it was clear that she had not studied this before, but she nevertheless spoke with great confidence about her interpretation.

And I tried not to break into too big of a smile as the realization came over me and the rest of the class that her exclamation was more of a testimony than exegesis. But I never forgot what she said because I think it rang really true.

I think she understood this text exactly in the right way, and she spoke from experience. It is better to marry than to burn with passion. Marriage is certainly a better alternative to the constant distraction of a desire for marital relations.

If that is a constant distraction for you, especially if God brings some particular person into your life, then you are just fine to get married. Don't feel constrained by Paul's example. Go ahead and get married, and don't look back.

Staying unmarried like Paul is good. Getting married is good too. Each one has his own calling from the Lord, and we come to know that calling through the gifts and opportunities God gives us, or withholds from us.

And if God gives you the opportunity to be married, and you want to be married, go for it. But if that opportunity does not come your way, even though you wish it would, just keep in mind what Paul says.

Paul says you are in a better position. You are not at a disadvantage in God's kingdom by remaining unmarried. Steward that calling well, for as long as you have it. Ask God to make the paths plain for the unmarried calling he has given you.

It may be a season, or it may be for life. God will make that plain in due time. In the meantime, don't despair of your calling. Lean into it for the glory of God. And I thank you for that, rendering that teaching from those two particular verses from Professor Burke.

He says it so much better than I could have, so that was why I just read his segment there word for word. So that was with regards to 1 Corinthians 7, verses 8 and 9. Reading that again. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I, one who is a widower, not getting remarried.

But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Now, I'm going to I'm going to mention something here about that statement exactly in verse 9.

This is going to be pretty controversial for some, but just bear with me and give me some grace as I explain this. There is a view of marriage that is called the permanence view. John Piper is one who is popular for holding this particular view.

And basically, the marriage permanence view is that there is no allowance for getting divorced and remarried unless you are remarrying the person that you got divorced from. But the only thing that can end a covenant vow of marriage is death.

So unless your spouse has died, you cannot get remarried. Even if the reason for the divorce is sexual immorality, you cannot get remarried. So let me come back again to Matthew 19. I quoted a portion of this a moment ago, but in Matthew 19, verse three, the Pharisees came to Jesus and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?

And Jesus answered, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. And they said to him, why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and send her away?

And Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning, it was not so. Notice here that the Pharisees have said Moses commanded to give a certificate of divorce.

So it's like as long as we give a certificate of divorce, then we can get divorced for any cause. That's basically the argument that the Pharisees are presenting here. But Jesus' response to them is Moses did not command you to give a certificate to get divorced.

He said, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning, it was not so. Verse nine, and I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery.

So I take the view that Jesus is saying here, you are allowed to divorce your spouse in the case of sexual immorality, and you can get remarried. Because once again, what's in view here, it's it's the law of Moses.

And according to the law of Moses, if somebody committed adultery, what happened to them? They were stoned to death. They were put to death. And I think that the the Westminster writers were right when they put in the Westminster Confession of Faith that in an instance of sexual immorality, it should be considered that the that the offending spouse is as though dead, because under the law of Moses, that person would have been put to death for having committed adultery.

And therefore, the person who was offended, the person who did not do the wrong but was wronged, they are released from that marriage covenant because it is as if their spouse had died, having committed sexual immorality that they would have been put to death for.

So I hold that view. I share that view with the Westminster Confession of Faith, that in the instance of sexual immorality, a person is allowed to get remarried. And we'll even talk about this a little bit more as we go on here, because Paul makes some mentions here.

He gives some allowances here regarding divorce and remarriage, even in this text that we're reading out of Chapter seven. But the reason why I mentioned this, the reason why I bring this up is because Paul says here in First Corinthians seven, nine, if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Here's the really controversial thing that I want to mention here. It wasn't the contention with the marriage permanence view. Even as a pastor, I have given an allowance under very special and certain circumstances to someone who was divorced for an unbiblical reason to get remarried because I saw in that person's life it would be much better for them to get remarried than it would be to burn with passion.

Now, some would contend with me on that and say, well, you just permitted that person to commit adultery, because as Jesus said here in Matthew chapter 19, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery.

And I have to contend with that in my own conscience. But in this situation, it would not have been possible. And again, I'm talking about a specific situation with certain circumstances. It would not have been possible for these two spouses to be reconciled, because one spouse went off and got remarried.

And so then you're left with the other spouse that got divorced for an unbiblical reason, but is burning with passion. And I have said to that person, it would be better for you to get married, that you not burn with passion and then commit sexual immorality outside of marriage.

It's better for you to have a spouse and therefore fulfill your duty with that person rather than to burn with lust and with passion and then maybe even burn in judgment, as Denny Burke had put it here in this particular verse.

So I just I want to give that qualification because I know that and again, it's a particular qualification here. It's not general advice that I would give. If it was specific circumstances, even if a person was divorced for unbiblical reasons, it was better for them, I saw, to get remarried than to burn with passion and therefore even come under judgment because they were committing sexual immorality outside of marriage.

However way we cut this, it is clear how God has defined marriage. It is to be between a husband and a wife till death do us part. And we must remain committed in our marriages. A lot of our social problems could be solved with faithful marriages that very rarely gets talked about.

But as much as the social justice movement exists out there kind of pushing for social justice for different social classes, you'll notice none of them talk about faithful marriages. If there were more people committed to more faithful marriages, it would solve a lot of our social ills that exist in the culture right now.

Anyway, that aside, it's clear what Jesus has said here about marriage, a husband and a wife till death do us part. We must be pure in our marriages. We must keep the marriage bed undefiled, as said in Hebrews 13, for marriages to be held in honor by all.

For God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. And all of us in our bodies must be pure. For as we read in 1 Corinthians 6 20, you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body.

Don't look for allowances. Don't look for ways that you can cut corners. Don't look for loopholes. Be pure, be holy, desire righteousness, and know that God is a forgiving God. He will cleanse you of all unrighteousness by your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Make your commitment this day to walk in holiness all your days until the Lord Jesus Christ returns. Heavenly Father, thank you for this word. May we take it to heart and live for your good pleasure, keeping your commandments, respecting marriage as you have defined it, not trying to do things according to our own flesh, but submitting in our flesh unto the Lord Jesus Christ, who died in his flesh and rose again from the grave so that by faith in him we would be forgiven our sins and have eternal life.

Thank you for your grace. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.