The Kinism Controversy - Some Level-headed Thoughts From AD

Now I do want to talk about something else, and this is just kind of a side topic. I was talking to my wife who my wife is still on Facebook. And she still kind of participates in some of the the online reformed drama, and I was talking to her I was like yeah.

It's so interesting because people often ask me about the latest drama, and I'm just really not involved in it I'm kind of glad I'm not involved in it, but they'll say hey. Did you see what was going on the fight left-beast Network and?

Facebook page, and it's like no I didn't I'm just not involved in that stuff. You know and. And we were just talking about and we were talking about kinism, which is like all the rage right now, and you know.

It's that that whole issue. It's just It's it's it's too like it's too hot to talk about it's just too It's too emotionally charged like no we can't have rational discussions about it because the thing is it's like kinism these These days can it's like you know Anything can be called kinism from in a huge range and and and it's not it doesn't lead to good Conversations because on the one hand you know kinism is you know you know you we should have forced segregated churches.

And we should you know Interracial marriage should be outlawed and then then there's that that's called kinism. And then you know if you even ask questions about why sorry about that I don't know why everyone's calling me all of a sudden if you even ask questions about why it is that you know most people Will marry within their own ethnicity right?

Why did why is that the case is that a problem is that something that needs to be? Debugged we need to reject that and it doesn't seem like it is it seems like it's you know most people do it. And that's totally fine.

Like if you even ask questions about that or even scratch the surface under that question a little bit or if you even ask questions As a why is it that every advertisement that I see always has an interest ethnic marriage when that's not the norm.

That's not common. That's not what people normally do so why are they pushing that on us? Sometimes if you even ask that question you're called the kinness and so there's this huge range of Things that are kinism, and they're not all kinism.

But they're all given the black mark of heresy because that's the thing it's it now you have to every every God-fearing person has to say well kinism is the ultimate heresy just about and it's like they treat it like it's the worst possible Thing that you could possibly believe and so then when you when you do that.

And then you have a fuzzy definition for what kinism even is it creates a whole it creates a third rail situation where no one Can have a rational discussion, and so I was talking to my wife about that.

And she's like yeah, it makes sense, and then I was thinking to myself. You know you know here's the thing though because we should ask that question right? Why is inter-ethnic marriage pushed on us so aggressively all the time and I'm in one right?

I'm in an inter-ethnic marriage, and I love my wife, and it's great. But I even I noticed this and I'm just like that's very weird my brother's in an inter-ethnic marriage as well. And you know him and I talk about this stuff.

And it's like and and the thing is like again most people aren't in Inter-ethnic marriages, and and it's treated almost like that's almost like a mark of shame for a lot of people where it's like Oh, well You know I guess I'm just in this racist marriage.

And and if you don't think that people are are treated that way then Honestly you haven't really been paying attention to what's been going on and and and my whole thing is. You know why is it that most people decide not to do that?

It's not because they're racist obviously so let's not be stupid. But why is it and I think that a lot of times you know people just kind of have this innate sort of feeling. That you know marriage is very difficult anyway.

You know it's all it's always a difficult thing. It's always something that you have to work at something that you have to you know decide that you are going to love your wife. Your love your husband, and it's till death do you part and you're gonna work things out.

And you're gonna help each other and you're gonna grow a family and it's a decision in it. And it takes work to do every single day. It's hard enough but then to add all kinds of. You know sometimes extreme cultural differences where there's expectations that are unspoken.

Because as far as you're concerned from your culture. This is just how things are done that can be extra challenging and can introduce all kinds of Difficulties and and so there's I think there's an innate feeling that sometimes you know it's you know.

There's a lot of fish in the sea and so. Maybe it's probably best a good idea a prudent idea for me not to introduce that complication. And I told my wife I said you know I don't think it's an accident that me and my wife got along great.

And we got married because you know even though we're different ethnicities. We were actually raised very similarly and the reason is because we're both from New England right she grew up in Vermont. I grew up in Connecticut, and it's like so we have similar context we had similar Ways that we were brought up there are definitely differences though especially in the parenting right and there are.

We know in our marriage that there are things that we grew up kind of Experiencing and knowing was the right thing to do that are very different and so we need to Understand that when we're you know raising our children and things like that and it does create a certain amount of friction.

But you know we need to keep our eyes open and knowing that but but at the end of the day. We're very similar though. We had similar upbringings. We had similar experiences, and so that I don't think that's a mistake, but I said to my wife Imagine if I was Puerto Rican which I am.

But I was I was actually from the island. I was from Puerto Rico and we met and I was from Puerto Rico. And she was from Vermont those differences in culture. And and just the way we were raised and stuff like that it would be way more challenging than what it is.

It's it's very simple. This is this is obvious to me, but it's almost like people are afraid to admit this it's like no there are Expectations that a husband in Puerto Rico has and is raised to have of his wife.

That are very different than in Connecticut that are that are in Vermont and some of these aren't really moral issues necessarily. It's not so we're not talking about like whether the husband is the head of the household or something something that God has has Spoken on right we're talking about lots of stuff that maybe God hasn't given us a direct command about and it's like.

So we need to consider that as we'd be very to I'm Puerto Rican either way right so I'm Puerto Rican. But in one in one story and in God's story I'm a Puerto Rican that grew up in Connecticut essentially grew up as an American.

But there were even still differences then because I was in a Puerto Rican American so there are some things that I grew up just experiencing and knowing and. And and and and and formed me as a child that my wife knows nothing about.

Because she's a white person growing up in Vermont. You know what I mean, so It's not to say there's no differences, but it would have been way more Difficult way way more of stark of a contrast if I was a Puerto Rican that grew up in Puerto Rico.

Again, it seems obvious to me and so when people say you know because this is the thing it's like it's almost like. It's almost like if you self cut. Let me let me see how I can put this. You're you're almost treated as like the the scum of the earth if you are Self-consciously looking for a wife or a husband.

That has a similar. You know context to you of your own ethnicity of your own group. You know I'm looking for someone from New England like you can get away with it if you're like Puerto Rican. You're looking for another Puerto Rican, or if you're black and looking for another black, but if you're white.

And you and you are Openly about that like I'm not really interested in dating a Puerto Rican or a black person. Like you're the scum of the earth in our context and and my question is why is that is that even is that even a sin?

Is that even something that you need to repent of if that's what you're targeting? That's what you're looking for. I would argue that the answer is no if you're looking for a mate and you're white and you happen to be white and you're looking for you know a white woman and You know that grew up in the Midwest or something like that like honestly.

There's nothing wrong with you. That's that's what I think and so and so people like well 80 sounds like a kinnest. That's not kinnism but I think you need to really ask yourself because this is what most people do and Most Christians do this and it's and they have no racial animus towards people they have no Racial prejudice towards people in the sense of of partiality is what I mean of course they're not they don't treat anyone with partiality and stuff like that, but but they're you know what they're attracted to in a in a wife is Someone that is like what they remembered a wife being from when they were a child.

And I'm not I'm here to tell you that that's like that's common, and I'm pretty sure it's not a sin. And if it is a sin you'll have to show me how you'll have to show me how I've told this story many times I'll tell it again probably but when I was in in in New York There was a girl that I liked I thought she was Attractive and things like that she was a black girl, and I remember I remember asking her out she said no she was very nice about it and.

And You know it turned out that that you know she only dated black guys. That's what she that's what she liked and and I remember I I didn't feel anything I didn't feel like oh, that's terrible. Oh, what a racist like I didn't like it.

Just that's just her preference. That's what she likes. You know and in fact it was even more than that. It was like Caribbean black guys like I think it was Jamaican if I'm not mistaken Jamaican if I'm not that was funny Jamaican if I'm not mistaken.

But in any case so I Think you know and I was and I was thinking this through and it's like you know and then my wife said yeah. You know and and she's like saying yeah I guess I could see that because she's not totally with me on all these ideas.

Just just for the record, but but she's like yeah, I guess I can see that you know there could be bigger differences. Then then just you know something trivial like food right like you grew up with a certain food.

And I thought about that for a second. I was talking this out my wife. And I was like you know the food thing I don't think that's as trivial trivial as as a lot of people want to say well different cultures have different foods and things like that and You know I don't know if that's really trivial because think about this right like like you think about like American cuisine right like American Food what are we known for right?

We're known for like burgers hot dogs stuff like that. You know wings and that might be fair or unfair. But I think that's what we're known for right and if you think about all those kinds of foods. What's what's what's in common with them right you go out on the grill you grill them?

It's like really fast, and it's it's delicious. I'm not saying it's not delicious, but it's very fast to cook very fast to prepare in fact. You don't really even have to prepare anything you just mold the burger you throw it on the grill.

And it's ready to go maybe a little salt and pepper. It's ready to go you cut the fries you throw them in the fryer. They're ready to go you cut the wings you put them in the fryer. They're ready to go.

It's all very very quick. I Don't think that That comes out of nothing that that the idea that all of our cuisine is just like so quick to make right. It's very quick. I think that that Came about probably because of a deep-seated sort of like we're constantly on the go.

You know we need to be efficient. We need to be quick. You know dinner is really fast. You just wolf it down. It's very different than other cultures that have like two-hour dinners right and they're very elaborate and a lot of time and preparation goes into the food and you got to like you got to make the sauce and it takes time for the sauce to develop and.

Things like that and and cultures that have cuisine like that. They they think of time very differently than we do as Americans. Even down south right. What do you what's the impression of people when you go down now?

I'm not saying that Southerners don't eat burgers and dogs, too. But what I'm saying is like like what is the South known for that South is known for like barbecue and things like that. And when you think about the people in the South It's a lot more easygoing than people up north and Yankees and stuff like that.

You know people are more chill. They're more relaxed. You know you know take a load off stay a while that kind of attitude. Lends itself to barbecue and slow cooking and he does not gonna be hot and fast.

It's gonna be slow low and slow. And it kind of develops the flavor over time over a period of 12 hours. And I don't think that that's that trivial right because at the end of day you all you need is food right to survive.

Whether it's fast-cooked food or slow-cooked food, whatever it is. You know you just need the calories, and you'll survive but but the way that food expresses Sort of the the priorities and the and the and the the view of the world that the people who prepare the food Has I think makes a difference you know what I mean.

I think it'd be hard for a Southerner and a Yankee to come together and and and and be and be married without reckoning with the Difference of how they view life and how they view time and how they view things.

These are important differences that you need to consider when you get married to someone whether it's of your ethnicity or not like Someone from a different culture. They just have a different normal they have a different view of what's What's standard and you need to consider those kinds of things before you get married?

And there's nothing wrong with that and and I think that that that race and ethnicity you know that can be like a Shorthand for some of these cultural differences, but not always. It's not always as neat and clean as you want it to be and so that's why people get hung up on race and ethnicity but but these are things that like this shouldn't be like especially for a lot of the a lot of a lot of my my Theological heroes so to speak like we shouldn't be shutting down Conversations like this and just calling everyone a heretic who says something that's and that's the thing.

It's like well you what you just said ad a kinest would say too, and I'm like yeah, okay? I get that right you know and probably Hitler had a puppy dog and liked puppies I mean I don't know like sure like I guess so but but the thing is kinest say a lot more than what I'm saying as well.

And so let's not let's not play that game words like if that sounds even the slightest bit kinest. You're a heretic. Let's shut it down like that's just no way to have this conversation, and that's kind of what my My problem is with those with those statements from the CREC.

It's just like it's like I Don't know It just seems like a like a like given given how how weak and vague and and and and malleable these Definitions are right now in this particular context. It just seems like a bad move to be to be doing that because now everyone who's labeled a kinest is now like well I guess I'm a heretic like it's like It's that that's the thing and that's the thing is not everyone who's labeled a kinest.

It actually is a kinest and that's just the bottom line in any case I'll talk more about this. We're going to talk more about this because I don't care I don't care if I'm labeled whatever I'll have the conversation not a problem at all.

I'm researching more into like official kinest and like what they believe that's something that I'm starting to read into a little bit. And yeah, so we're gonna talk more about this we definitely are I hope you found this video helpful.

God bless.