TLP 533: Is Being a Parent Really Like Running a Marathon?

Truth.Love.Parent.

Subscribe

Download

Share

00

00:00

The comparison just absolutely doesn't work because I love parenting and I hate running

00:05

But I'm gonna put my prejudice aside in order to give the imagery a fair shake Parenting isn't about us.

00:12

In fact parenting isn't even about our kids Parenting is just one way Christian dads and moms are to worship

00:18

God So welcome to the truth love parent podcast where we train dads and moms to give

00:23

God the preeminence in their parenting I'm your host a .m. Brewster and today we're considering our final parenting comparison cliche two episodes ago

00:32

We asked whether parenting and raising a puppy were really that similar last time We looked at the picture of gardening being like parenting and today

00:39

We're asking the question is being a parent really like running a marathon If you have other parenting comparison metaphors, you'd like us to investigate for accuracy

00:48

You can submit them via email to team TLP at truth Calm or on any of our other social media accounts to be honest, though.

00:57

I'm glad actually this is the last one We're going to be doing for a while and don't get me wrong It's been fun and it's something

01:02

I've wanted to discuss for a while But I'm really looking forward to getting into season 28 and working through some very important topics

01:10

But you're gonna have to wait until next week to hear about what that topic is and what we have in store for season 28

01:15

Because today we have to run a marathon Don't forget to check out today's free transcript and related resources and definitely download the evermind app

01:23

I'll tell you a little bit more about that app in a few minutes But for now take my word for it. You really want to download the evermind app.

01:30

Okay, here goes. I Hate running. I'm not a runner in my estimation running is only valuable when you're doing it for your life

01:41

This is not because I don't like to exercise. This is not because I'm lazy I don't like running simply because running is awful

01:49

Don't at me You can like running all you want. I will not judge you I have many dear friends who love running

01:55

We're friends because they don't ask me to run with them and I don't tell them how much I hate running But for today's show,

02:01

I believe this is a safe place for me to share my utter lauf and loathen So as a preface,

02:07

I want to say that the comparison between running a marathon and parenting Absolutely doesn't work because I love parenting and I hate running

02:15

But I am gonna put my prejudice aside in order to give the imagery a fair shake So let's start like we did last time by considering the dissimilarities

02:25

Number one, how are parenting and running a marathon nothing alike? First unlike dog ownership and even gardening there is no relationship of which to speak in running

02:37

For many people running really is a solo experience But even when people are competing the only relationships are with the other people you're trying to beat

02:46

And yes, I know there are team competitions and running but we're talking about running a marathon and for the most part

02:53

That's a solo experience So that's a huge dissimilarity right there Parenting is not a solo endeavor and you absolutely don't want to view your kids as the competitors you're trying to beat

03:04

But I'm sure that the vast majority of people who use the metaphor to describe parenting aren't doing so to illustrate anything about the relationships

03:12

The final item I'll mention that running and parenting don't have in common is the fact that running isn't about helping anything

03:18

Teaching anything keeping anything alive Unless you're running for your life But again, like I've often observed metaphors break down and shouldn't be stretched beyond their intended meaning

03:29

So we have to ask why do people compare parenting to running a marathon in the first place? Before I answer that question, though Let me tell you just one reason you should download the evermind app

03:39

The world has reached a place where there is very little cohesion Whereas there used to be one local food market where people would shop today

03:49

We have thousands of different stores from which to choose and we don't even have to leave our homes

03:54

We can take advantage of the plethora of businesses that will deliver our perishables and imperishables right to our door

04:00

We also have so many ways of connecting with each other online Just for evermind ministries alone.

04:06

We have nearly 20 different social media accounts This means that when it comes to posting material and connecting with you

04:12

There are so many considerations about how to do it the best way and it will never be possible to connect with you all at the same time

04:18

Until now the evermind app allows us to do evermind lives live Experiences where we can interact with each other and it all happens in one place

04:27

You don't have to wonder if it'll be on Instagram Facebook X or YouTube it will always be on the evermind app

04:33

Of course, that's just one tiny little cool thing about the evermind app So be sure to set up a free account download the app and look at all the cool stuff that we have to offer

04:43

All right. Now let's talk about if and how running a marathon might just be like parenting

04:48

Number two, how are parenting and running a marathon alike? I believe there are two main reasons people use this metaphor.

04:56

The first is that parenting is hard work This is where my distaste for running can actually be really dangerous

05:02

If all the younger Aaron had known about parenting was that it was just like running a marathon.

05:08

I Never would have done it. It's way too hard and all of that effort provides way too little of a benefit in my biased opinion

05:17

But they are right parenting is hard and biblical parenting is harder It's easy to be selfish that comes naturally to us

05:25

So you can imagine that bringing immature siphons into your selfish life would be difficult But parenting selfishly is what we do best however parenting in God's way for God's glory is actually

05:36

Impossible for human beings. It's only ever possible with God's power, but our flesh so often fights against the process

05:42

So, yes If running a marathon is long and hard and arduous and painful and even sometimes going to result in permanent damage

05:50

Then it is an accurate picture of biblical parenting and that's what the imagery of a marathon is really about It's designed to communicate the effect it's going to have on the parent

06:00

So before considering our final point of similarity and then passing judgment on the value of the comparison I want to camp on this point for just a bit

06:08

This topic runs the risk of not confronting us with valuable biblical parenting truth If we simply judge the metaphor without considering the very real struggles

06:16

We're going to face day in and day out as ambassadorial parents of God. So let's expand on what makes biblical parenting so hard letter a as was already mentioned

06:26

Christ honoring parenting runs counter to our fleshly desires as You've already concluded.

06:32

I have never run a marathon, but I have run further than I wanted to I've run in sports

06:37

I've run in order to protect another and I've done other physical and mental Exercises that require me to push past my discomfort and sometimes utter loathing in order to accomplish it

06:48

According to Romans 8 8 in our flesh without God's grace. It is impossible for us to please him

06:55

Our flesh will always desire that which God rejects or it will desire those things that align with God's commands

07:01

However, it will do so for self -pleasure, which of course is an abomination to God Therefore parenting in a way that glorifies

07:09

God will always be impossible for us it will chafe our flesh and it will feel like a perpetual denial of our flesh taking up our cross and choosing to follow

07:19

Christ and That's exactly how it should feel the Christian life. It does feel like a marathon and that everything inside of us wants to quit

07:28

Our muscles are screaming our lungs are wheezing our mouths are parched

07:34

But we must for the glory of God and the power of God press on Remember this in those times.

07:42

You're so frustrated doing it God's way Remember that your base desires for your parenting are not valuable.

07:48

They are not helpful They will not benefit the family and please the Lord Regardless of how you feel regardless of how hard parenting is regardless of how persistently your children fight the process

07:59

You must continue submitting to the Lord But not only is biblical parenting marathon -like because it's counterintuitive and counter desirable

08:08

But it's also hard because letter B Christ honoring parenting takes a long time in many ways

08:16

Parenting lasts as for as long as you have children now, that's not to say that your relationship with your child doesn't change as they age

08:23

But since parenting discipleship and biblical counseling are all the application of corporate sanctification within differing relationships

08:31

What was once an inherent authoritative relationship easily morphs into an inherently

08:38

Authoritative relationship that should continue until one of us passes from this life into the next

08:44

If by the way, if you don't know what I'm talking about when I mentioned inherent or inherited authority

08:49

Please check out our authority resources. They will be linked in the description of today's episode The point

08:56

I want to make is that discipleship is a lifelong endeavor It's going to have to occur as long as I and my child are alive

09:04

But biblical parenting doesn't just take a long time because it lasts the lifespan of the child It's also long because it always requires the same responsibilities

09:13

Too often in our parenting we feel like we've plateaued Our kids seem to be doing well in all of the areas in which we've been teaching and reproving them

09:21

At these times that we're tempted to take a vacation from parenting Sure, we all still live in the same house

09:27

I'm sure we're still there to make sure they eat their vegetables and go to bed on time But practically we're no longer discipling them.

09:34

We're glorified roommates at that point and that's not biblical parenting Biblical parenting recognizes that there is always something new to learn.

09:42

There was always somewhere new We need to mature and grow. There was always a need for change

09:49

If you ever find yourself impatiently waiting until they turn 18 because your parenting will finally be over or you find yourself

09:57

Retracting from the biblical parenting we find in the scriptures You're doing so in part because parenting is in fact like a marathon

10:06

You're tired and your fleshly parenting desires are convincing you it's okay to sit on the curb or walk away completely

10:15

But those of us who by God's grace are still pushing and parenting and participating in the process

10:20

We recognize that parenting takes a long time and it will continue to take a long time for a long time

10:29

But biblical parenting isn't like a marathon simply because it goes against our flesh and takes a long time

10:35

It's hard because letter C, Christ's honoring parenting demands consistency This point and the last are similar

10:43

But this point is more specific the last point zoomed out to consider parenting over the course of years

10:48

This point zooms in to consider parenting in the moments It's so easy to justify our inconsistency when we know that we will just be right back to it later on Tomorrow, I'll require my child to submit.

11:01

It's okay if I give her a pass right now I'm always a stickler for a complete obedience and I will be later as well.

11:08

But right now I want a break The previous point was for those parents who are looking forward to the end of their parenting or who have walked away from their biblical

11:16

Responsibilities. This point is for those of us who like to justify our hypocrisy and inconsistency

11:23

I'm sure that we all could run a marathon if we were able to take 24 -hour breaks in between miles

11:29

Honestly, I've always laughed at those step counters that try to encourage the wearer with the

11:34

Everest badge because their total miles walked have Added up to the height of Mount Everest Now the person schlepped their way through life walking between the couch and the refrigerator

11:45

Or down the cubicle corridors where they work, but they also try to get an extra couple thousand steps in a day great so yeah, everyone has already walked a marathon in fact, according to moon joggers a

11:59

Moderately active average person will walk around seven thousand five hundred steps a day. That's about 1 ,300 to 1 ,500 miles a year

12:10

I'm saying all this because we can take a very Catholic view of our parenting. We see all the good we've done

12:15

We see all the good we will do and we justify our inconsistency. I know I'm supposed to keep running this marathon

12:21

I know I have 24 miles left, but I also know I'm going to finish the race one way or another

12:27

So taking a quick break from the run is perfectly fine But it's not

12:33

We don't get to decide to stop glorifying God We don't get to decide to stop rearing our children in the nurture and admonition of the

12:40

Lord We don't get to decide that God doesn't care if we ignore our kids sin just this once All throughout the scriptures were commanded to run the race persevere be steadfast be patient press on and mount up We know that all sin is sin.

12:56

It's all unjustifiable. No matter how much righteousness is otherwise in our lives Biblical parenting is very much like a marathon because those who are good at running marathons are consistent they don't make excuses for their inactivity just because they've been consistent in the past and plan to be consistent in the future and Finally biblical parenting is like running a marathon because letter

13:18

D crossing the finish line of Christ honoring parenting has nothing to do with how your kids turn out

13:24

Running a marathon is rarely a team sport. You are running against nothing more than those 26 miles

13:30

And your own previous times if you're really good You're also running against everyone else in the race, but the vast majority of runners aren't thinking about that at all

13:38

They just want to finish the race better than they have before In a similar way crossing the finish line of biblical parenting has nothing to do with anything except your faithful submission to God's expectations

13:48

It's all about your personal worship as applied to your parenting Your kids may reject

13:54

God and run from him, but that doesn't mean you're done with the race You're not disqualified because your children aren't doing their part

14:01

You don't get to be dismissed from the race because your spouse isn't participating You absolutely need to deny the flesh and consistently press on for the rest of your life

14:11

Then and only then will you hear well done my good and faithful servant So I would say in conclusion.

14:18

Yes Christ honoring parenting is very much like running a marathon Just be careful to explain what you mean

14:24

If you choose to share that nugget of wisdom with a parent in your life, make sure you're pointing to the biblical similarities and expectations

14:31

Otherwise, you run the risk of giving the individual a very wrong picture of what it means to be a parent.

14:37

I Hate marathons, but by God's grace and power. I love parenting my kids for his honor and glory

14:44

Please share this episode on your favorite social media outlets so that more of God's people can better understand how he wants us to parent

14:49

And remember that I would be honored to engage with you in biblical counseling if I can help you better worship

14:55

God as you teach, reprove, correct, and train your kids You can reach out to us by emailing counselor at truthloveparent .com

15:03

or by calling 828 -423 -0894 On our next episode.

15:08

I'm going to reveal the theme of season 28 It's something I discuss all the time in biblical counseling sessions because it's something we all need to do on a near daily basis

15:16

I hope you'll join us then and thank you for joining us today Truth Love Parent is part of the

15:24

Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you worship God through your parenting So join us next time as we study

15:30

God's Word to learn how to parent our children for life and godliness And remember that TLP is a listener supported ministry.