TLP 533: Is Being a Parent Really Like Running a Marathon?

Why the Marathon Comparison Fails as a Parenting Analogy

The comparison just absolutely doesn't work, because I love parenting and I hate running. But I'm going to put my prejudice aside in order to give the imagery a fair shake. Parenting isn't about us. In fact, parenting isn't even about our kids.

Parenting is just one way Christian dads and moms are to worship God. So welcome to the Truth Love Parent podcast, where we train dads and moms to give God the preeminence in their parenting. I'm your host, A .M. Brewster, and today we're considering our final parenting comparison.

Cliche.

Two episodes ago, we asked whether parenting and raising a puppy were really that similar. Last time we looked at the picture of gardening being like parenting, and today we're asking the question, is being a parent really like running a marathon?

If you have other parenting comparison metaphors you'd like us to investigate for accuracy, you can submit them via email to teamTLP at truthloveparent .com or on any of our other social media accounts.

To be honest though, I'm glad actually this is the last one we're going to be doing for a while. And don't get me wrong, it's been fun and it's something I've wanted to discuss for a while, but I'm really looking forward to getting into season 28 and working through some very important topics.

But you're going to have to wait until next week to hear about what that topic is and what we have in store for season 28, because today we have to run a marathon. Don't forget to check out today's free transcript and related resources and definitely download the Evermind app.

I'll tell you a little bit more about that app in a few minutes, but for now, take my word for it, you really want to download the Evermind app. Okay, here goes. I hate running. I'm not a runner. In my estimation, running is only valuable when you're doing it for your life.

This is not because I don't like to exercise. This is not because I'm lazy. I don't like running simply because running is awful. Don't at me. You can like running all you want. I will not judge you. I have many dear friends who love running.

We're friends because they don't ask me to run with them and I don't tell them how much I hate running. But for today's show, I believe this is a safe place for me to share my utter laufenlothen. So as a preface, I want to say that the comparison between running a marathon and parenting absolutely doesn't work because I love parenting and I hate running, but I am going to put my prejudice aside in order to give the imagery a fair shake.

So let's start like we did last time by considering the dissimilarities. Number one, how are parenting and running a marathon nothing alike? First, unlike dog ownership and even gardening, there is no relationship of which to speak in running.

For many people, running really is a solo experience, but even when people are competing, the only relationships are with the other people you're trying to beat. And yes, I know there are team competitions in running, but we're talking about running a marathon and for the most part, that's a solo experience.

So that's a huge dissimilarity right there. Parenting is not a solo endeavor and you absolutely don't want to view your kids as the competitors you're trying to beat. But I'm sure that the vast majority of people who use the metaphor to describe parenting aren't doing so to illustrate anything about their relationships.

The final item I'll mention that running and parenting don't have in common is the fact that running isn't about helping anything, teaching anything, keeping anything alive unless you're running for your life.

But again, like I've often observed, metaphors break down and shouldn't be stretched beyond their intended meaning. So we have to ask, why do people compare parenting to running a marathon in the first place?

Before I answer that question, though, let me tell you just one reason you should download the Evermind app. The world has reached a place where there is very little cohesion, whereas there used to be one local food market where people would shop, today we have thousands of different stores from which to choose.

And we don't even have to leave our homes. We can take advantage of the plethora of businesses that will deliver our perishables and imperishables right to our door. We also have so many ways of connecting with each other online.

Just for Evermind Ministries alone, we have nearly 20 different social media accounts. This means that when it comes to posting material and connecting with you, there are so many considerations about how to do it the best way, and it will never be possible to connect with you all at the same time.

Until now. The Evermind app allows us to do Evermind Lives, live experiences where we can interact with each other, and it all happens in one place. You don't have to wonder if it'll be on Instagram, Facebook, X, or YouTube, it will always be on the Evermind app.

Of course, that's just one tiny little cool thing about the Evermind app, so be sure to set up a free account, download the app, and look at all the cool stuff that we have to.

Offer.

Why Parenting Is Like Running a Marathon

Alright, now let's talk about if and how running a marathon might just be like parenting. 2. How are parenting and running a marathon alike? I believe there are two main reasons people use this metaphor.

The first is that parenting is hard work. This is where my distaste for running can actually be really dangerous. If all the younger Aaron had known about parenting was that it was just like running a marathon, I never would have done it.

It's way too hard, and all of that effort provides way too little of a benefit, in my biased opinion. But they are right, parenting is hard, and biblical parenting is harder. It's easy to be selfish, that comes naturally to us, so you can imagine that bringing immature siphons into your selfish life would be difficult.

But parenting selfishly is what we do best. However, parenting in God's way for God's glory is actually impossible for human beings. It's only ever possible with God's power, but our flesh so often fights against the process.

So, yes, if running a marathon is long and hard and arduous and painful and even sometimes going to result in permanent damage, then it is an accurate picture of biblical parenting. And that's what the imagery of a marathon is really about.

It's designed to communicate the effect it's going to have on the parent. So before considering our final point of similarity and then passing judgment on the value of the comparison, I want to camp on this point for just a bit.

This topic runs the risk of not confronting us with valuable biblical parenting truth if we simply judge the metaphor without considering the very real struggles we're going to face day in and day out as ambassadorial parents of God.

So let's expand on what makes biblical parenting so hard. Letter A. As was already mentioned, Christ honoring parenting runs counter to our fleshly desires. As you've already concluded, I have never run a marathon, but I have run further than I wanted to.

I've run in sports, I've run in order to protect another, and I've done other physical and mental exercises that require me to push past my discomfort, and sometimes utter loathing, in order to accomplish it.

According to Romans 8 .8, in our flesh, without God's grace, it is impossible for us to please.

Him.

Our flesh will always desire that which God rejects, or it will desire those things that align with God's commands, however it will do so for self-pleasure, which of course is an abomination to God. Therefore, parenting in a way that glorifies God will always be impossible for us.

It will chafe our flesh, and it will feel like a perpetual denial of our flesh, taking up our cross and choosing to follow Christ. And that's exactly how it should feel. The Christian life does feel like a marathon in that everything inside of us wants to quit.

Our muscles are screaming, our lungs are wheezing, our mouths are parched, but we must, for the glory of God and the power of God, press on. Remember this in those times you're so frustrated doing it God's way.

Remember that your base desires for your parenting are not valuable, they are not helpful, they will not benefit the family and please the Lord. Regardless of how you feel, regardless of how hard parenting is, regardless of how persistently your children fight the process, you must continue submitting to the Lord.

But not only is biblical parenting marathon-like because it's counterintuitive and counter-desirable, but it's also hard because, letter B, Christ honoring parenting takes a long time. In many ways, parenting lasts for as long as you have children.

Now that's not to say that your relationship with your child doesn't change as they age, but since parenting, discipleship, and biblical counseling are all the application of corporate sanctification within differing relationships, what was once an inherent authoritative relationship easily morphs into an inherently authoritative relationship that should continue until one of us passes from this life into the next.

By the way, if you don't know what I'm talking about when I mention inherent or inherited authority, please check out our authority resources. They will be linked in the description of today's episode.

The point I want to make is that discipleship is a lifelong endeavor. It's going to have to occur as long as I and my child are alive. But biblical parenting doesn't just take a long time because it lasts the lifespan of the child.

It's also long because it always requires the same responsibilities. Too often in our parenting, we feel like we've plateaued. Our kids seem to be doing well in all of the areas in which we've been teaching and reproving.

Them.

It's at these times that we're tempted to take a vacation from parenting. Sure, we all still live in the same house, and sure, we're still there to make sure they eat their vegetables and go to bed on time, but practically, we're no longer discipling.

Them.

We're glorified roommates at that point, and that's not biblical parenting. Biblical parenting recognizes that there is always something new to learn. There is always somewhere new we need to mature and grow.

There is always a need for change. If you ever find yourself impatiently waiting until they turn 18 because your parenting will finally be over, or you find yourself retracting from the biblical parenting we find in the scriptures, you're doing so in part because parenting is in fact like a marathon.

You're tired, and your fleshly parenting desires are convincing you it's okay to sit on the curb or walk away completely. But those of us who, by God's grace, are still pushing and parenting and participating in the process, we recognize that parenting takes a long time, and it will continue to take a long time for a long time.

But biblical parenting isn't like a marathon simply because it goes against our flesh and takes a long time. It's hard because letter C, Christ honoring parenting, demands consistency. This point and the last are similar, but this point is more specific.

The last point zoomed out to consider parenting over the course of years. This point zooms in to consider parenting in the moments. It's so easy to justify our inconsistency when we know that we will just be right back to it later on.

Tomorrow I'll require my child to submit. It's okay if I give her a pass right now. I'm always a stickler for complete obedience, and I will be later as well, but right now I want a break. The previous point was for those parents who are looking forward to the end of their parenting or who have walked away from their biblical responsibilities.

This point is for those of us who like to justify our hypocrisy and inconsistency. I'm sure that we all could run a marathon if we were able to take 24-hour breaks in between miles. Honestly, I've always laughed at those step counters that try to encourage the wearer with the Everest badge because their total miles walked have added up to the height of Mount Everest.

The person schlepped their way through life walking between the couch and the refrigerator or down the cubicle corridors where they work, but they also try to get an extra couple thousand steps in a day.

Great. So, yeah, everyone has already walked a marathon. In fact, according to moon joggers, a moderately active average person will walk around 7 ,500 steps a day. That's about 1 ,300 to 1 ,500 miles a year.

I'm saying all this because we can take a very Catholic view of our parenting. We see all the good we've done, we see all the good we will do, and we justify our inconsistency. I know I'm supposed to keep running this marathon, I know I have 24 miles left, but I also know I'm going to finish the race one way or another, so taking a quick break from the run is perfectly fine.

But it's not. We don't get to decide to stop glorifying God. We don't get to decide to stop rearing our children in the nurture and admonition of.

The Lord.

We don't get to decide that God doesn't care if we ignore our kid's sin just this once. All throughout the scriptures, we're commanded to run the race, persevere, be steadfast, be patient, press on, and mount up.

We know that all sin is sin, it's all unjustifiable no matter how much righteousness is otherwise in our lives. Biblical parenting is very much like a marathon because those who are good at running marathons are consistent.

They don't make excuses for their inactivity just because they've been consistent in the past and plan to be consistent in the future. And finally, biblical parenting is like running a marathon because letter D crossing the finish line of Christ-honoring parenting has nothing to do with how your kids turn out.

Running a marathon is rarely a team sport. You are running against nothing more than those 26 miles and your own previous times. If you're really good, you're also running against everyone else in the race, but the vast majority of runners aren't thinking about that at all.

They just want to finish the race better than they have before. In a similar way, crossing the finish line of biblical parenting has nothing to do with anything except your faithful submission to God's expectations.

It's all about your personal worship as applied to your parenting. Your kids may reject God and run from him, but that doesn't mean you're done with the race. You're not disqualified because your children aren't doing their part.

You don't get to be dismissed from the race because your spouse isn't participating. You absolutely need to deny the flesh and consistently press on for the rest of your life. Then, and only then, will you hear, well done, my good and faithful servant.

So, I would say, in conclusion, yes, Christ-honoring parenting is very much like running a marathon. Just be careful to explain what you mean if you choose to share that nugget of wisdom with a parent in your life.

Make sure you're pointing to the biblical similarities and expectations, otherwise you run the risk of giving the individual a very wrong picture of what it means to be a parent. I hate marathons, but by God's grace and power, I love parenting my kids for his honor and glory.

Please share this episode on your favorite social media outlets so that more of God's people can better understand how he wants us to parent. And remember that I would be honored to engage with you in biblical counseling if I can help you better worship God as you teach, reprove, correct, and train your kids.

You can reach out to us by emailing counselor at truthloveparent .com or by calling 828 -423 -0894. On our next episode, I'm going to reveal the theme of Season 28. It's something I discuss all the time in biblical counseling sessions because it's something we all need to do on a near daily basis.

I hope you'll join us then, and thank you for joining us today. Truth Love Parent is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you worship God through your parenting. So join us next time as we study God's word to learn how to parent our children for life and godliness.

And remember that TLP is a listener-supported ministry. You can visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to learn more.