Controlling Our Tongues

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We're going through the, doing some Proverbs, Sunday School classes in Proverbs, practicing
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Proverbs. And today's lesson, if you would turn with me to Proverbs chapter 21, we'll just start there.
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I'll just let you know that we will be going back and forth, chapter to chapter, looking at different verses.
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And if you can't keep up, that's okay. I'm going to quote the majority of the verses. Their text, the ones that I make reference to as far as where their address is.
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And for those of you that would really like it, I have, I typed up this class. So if you give me your email address,
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I'll, I'll send you a copy of this, of the notes from this. The notes primarily are taken from a lot of, a lot of the content is from a book called
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Live, Living Wisely in a Foolish World by Wayne House and Kenneth Dern. And I'm going to,
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I've taken and kind of modified, I've added different of my own illustrations to it, but most of the credit needs to go to them.
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And the subject this morning is from the book of Proverbs. We can learn about so many different things, finances.
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We've already heard about disciplining children. You can, you can see so many things about being industrious, the industrious person versus a lazy person.
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This morning's topic is going to be concerned, it concerns the tongue. It concerns speech, godly speech.
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And how is it that the believer, those who want to follow the Lord Jesus Christ should behave when it comes to using the tongue that God gave us.
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And certainly for all of us, it's one that's going to hit home for sure. Teach, teach about disciplining children.
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Not everybody has children. You know, teach about being a boss or someone in authority.
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You may not be in authority at work, but everybody here that I'm looking around and seeing,
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I've either spoken to, I've heard you speak. And we all have the ability to use our mouth, our teeth, our lungs to be able to make words.
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And we desire that those words would glorify the Lord. And that's why we are going to study this out of the book of Proverbs this morning.
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Let's pray together before we come to this lesson. Father in heaven, thank you so much for the week that has gone past.
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We look back upon it and we see that your mercies were renewed to us every morning of the past week.
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And even this morning, renewed again. And great is your faithfulness. You've given us your word.
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You've established it. You've settled it forever. It is the God -breathed word for us. We pray that we might be able to, as we look at it, study it, as we consider the text, as we look at these different verses in Proverbs, Lord, that you would teach us, that you would help us to gain even more control upon the member of our body which can cause so much pain.
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And we pray that you'd bless us and remember us. And may it be a good time of studying your word together as we're taught of the
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Holy Spirit. And we pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Proverbs 21. We'll get to a verse here, but I'll just begin by saying that Proverbs does teach wise people, people who want to be wise.
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The person who listens to instruction becomes even more wiser, this book says.
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And the Proverbs do teach us about what to say to others, what to say when we are with others, and what to say about other people.
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You'll remember not too long ago, I think it was Pastor Mike had taught out of James chapter 3, and in there it tells us that the tongue, like a rudder on a ship, the little rudder moves the whole ship.
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The little tongue moves the whole body, affects the whole life. And the tongue can boast great things, and it can set a forest on fire.
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And when it comes to the way that we, as those who have repented of our sins, we've believed upon the
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Lord Jesus Christ, we have a testimony that we want to honor the Lord in all aspects of our lives, the way that we should speak and the proper use of our tongues, there are special instructions given to us in this book.
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Because this book gives us, as we've heard in the introductions to the book, wisdom for godly living.
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Proverbs, a book of wisdom. Wisdom for godly living, and in this area of our lives, would we not, just like with any other area of our lives, want to live wisely, want to speak wisely, communicate in a wise and good way.
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Now in Proverbs 21, where I ask you to turn, if you notice in verse 23, the scripture says,
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Whoso keeps his mouth, I'm reading from the King James, Whoso keeps his mouth, or whoever guards his mouth and his tongue, keeps his soul from troubles.
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I don't know anybody who just says, OK, I'm waking up this morning, and I would just love to invite trouble into my life, into my home, into my relationships, on the job,
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I mean, just let me have it. We're going to see a verse later which shows the type of person that does that.
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But we don't want to do that. We want to guard our mouths. We want to guard our tongues so that it guards our life, and it protects us.
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This military term, to set a sentinel, a guard, we want to guard. Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from trouble.
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And the unguarded, and the untamed tongue will ruin relationships with poisonous words.
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The misuse of the tongue can do these things. It can split a church, ruin a missions trip, destroy a friendship, victimize
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Christian workers, tarnish a reputation, crush a marriage. It can put an end to a relationship and damage a ministry beyond repair.
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How does this happen? All because Christians fail to control what they say and who they say it to.
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How can those who profess to know and obey God do so much damage with their tongues?
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It is by ignoring the Bible's specific instructions, the instructions that we're going to see this morning about words and the power of words.
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Rather than seeking God's wisdom like in the book of Proverbs concerning our speech, people sin by following a worldly pattern of behavior when it comes to using the tongue.
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And what is the world caught up in? Slander, malicious words, gossip. Gossip is one of them, for an example.
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It often, in the church, can take on a different form. We say, oh yeah, it's wrong to gossip, you know, don't do it.
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But in the church, it can take on the form of, I have a prayer request. And then you just let it be known.
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You just unleash the tongue and not careful about what we're saying. It can also show itself a false witness may be disguised as a brotherly concern.
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Careless words are spoken as honest opinions. And then we might try to cover up our verbal onslaughts by saying words like afterwards.
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Well, I was only kidding or I really didn't mean it. The problem is once we open up the gate of our mouth, so to speak, and the words are out, they've done their damage and they can't be brought back in without not undoing that damage.
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The damage is done. Whether spoken in ignorance or on purpose, foolish words always have the same effect.
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And that effect is disaster. Gossip is contrary to the nature and character of God.
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Why would I say that? Gossip is contrary to the nature and character of God.
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What do you think about that? Any idea? Why is gossip contrary to God's nature and character?
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Think of who our God is and his nature and his character. Any thoughts?
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He's holy. Everything he speaks is truth. God is not a man that he can't lie like men can.
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Peggy? He's all -knowing, so he knows. And we're going to kind of get into that when people start spreading gossip.
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It sometimes has to do with untruth, things that they just don't know for sure.
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Bernard? It isn't loving. And that's kind of like where I was heading. It's not loving. It's not kind.
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And we're going to see that our words are powerful and they can be used in two different ways.
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They can be extremely helpful and beneficial to those who hear them or they can prove to be very hurtful and painful to those who hear them.
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And gossip is wrong. Gossip is sinful. In Proverbs chapter 10, if you would turn with me there, if you'd like, and if, again, if you cannot keep up, that's fine.
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I'll be kind of reading and quoting the addresses. In Proverbs chapter 10, you'll notice in verse 11,
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Proverbs 10, 11, this is a chapter that speaks much about our speech.
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Proverbs 10, 11, The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked.
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Verse 12, Hatred stirs up strifes, but love covers all sins. You see the idea here?
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If we love somebody, we're not going to blurt it all out. There is a covering.
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There is a protection. And I'm heading towards verse 14 and verse 13.
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In the lips of him that has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.
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Wise men, verse 14, lay up knowledge. Wise men lay up or wise men, they store up this knowledge, and we saw it earlier, they cover up things.
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But the contrast is the foolish person just blurts it out. The foolish person doesn't even think about, and it says they are near destruction in verse 14.
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Notice in verse 19, we're going to see this elsewhere, but I'm going to cover it. In the multitude of words, there wanteth not sin, or there is no lack of sin when the mouth is wide open, with no check valve, with no restraint.
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But he that refrains or restrains, verse 19, his lips is wise. Notice verse 20, it talks about the tongue of the just is like choice silver.
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These pictures, these beautiful pictures about how our words should be like choice silver, valuable, precious.
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They ought to be, our words ought to be weighty. When we speak, it ought to be pleasurable when somebody hears what we have to say, and it ought to have some weight to it.
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You remember the commercials of the financial institution Merrill Lynch, and they'd have a bunch of people sitting around a table or whatever, and they would say, and a bunch of people are buzzing and talking, and they say, when
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Merrill Lynch speaks, then what happens? Everybody stops. When Merrill Lynch speaks, everybody listens.
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And a foolish person, what they do is they just ramble, they babble, they just kind of spew out words they just want to hear themselves, or they want to cause all kinds of problems.
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But a godly person, a wise person's words ought to have weight, and they ought to have value.
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And when you open your mouth, it ought to be pleasurable, it ought to be helpful to the people who are listening to you.
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Verse 21, the lips of the righteous feed many. Foolish people just strip people barren.
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I mean, they just leave people wanting. But the lips of the righteous feed many.
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Notice down in verse 31, the mouth of the just brings forth wisdom, but the froward tongue shall be cut out.
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And then lastly in this verse, verse 32, the lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked speaks for a witness.
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So we see that chapters like this have a lot to do about how it is that we ought to speak.
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It says in verse 14 that wise people store up knowledge. The contrast is the mouth of the fool is near destruction.
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Or in other words, a person who walks, and catch this, a person who walks in God's wisdom, that type of person says less than they know.
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They say, they're characterized by saying less than they know, while a foolish person knows far less than what they're saying.
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They think they know. They've heard all kinds of rumors and slanders, and they think they know, but they know less than they say.
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Gossip just keeps pouring out of their mouths. And you heard in verse 19, it says, in the multitude of words, in this onslaught, this abundance of words, there won't be any lack of sin.
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So, I mean, the principle here is, if you want to keep yourself from sinning when it comes to speaking, put a check on the mouth and make sure it's not rambling and motoring, and just going on and on, and you're just not thinking about what you're saying, and just let it rip, and we might find ourselves in a sinful situation.
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But the desire of the child of God ought to be, in the second part of verse 19, whoever restrains his lips.
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Remember, the theme of Proverbs is to get wisdom, and it's wise for us to learn how to speak.
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And one of the principles when it comes to speaking is to speak less. We might know more, but speak less.
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The purpose of Proverbs, again, is a focus of our attention on godly living. We spend so much of our time of day using our mouths, our tongue, our teeth, our lungs to sound out words, and we need a purpose to do it wisely so that our
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God is pleased with what we say. And suppose that holy gossip, traffics in second -hand information, repeated about someone else, or repeated, it's words repeated by somebody else, it just keeps getting repeated and repeated, but it's not a bona fide eye or ear witness to a matter, which is the biblical way when it comes to dealing with situations.
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And I have a, I just would practically encourage you to do this. Don't, or don't do this.
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Don't listen to whispered accusations, but instead go to the person yourself and verify the claim.
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If you feel like you ought to be involved in it, at least go to that person. And if somebody comes to you as a tail bearer, it says in the
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King James, or a whisperer, a gossiper, if someone comes to you with juicy information about another person, your first instinct, naturally, in the natural man is what?
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What do you want to do? First instinct. I mean, we all want to what? We want to hear it, right?
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We want to feed the, the, that, that desire just to know something juicy about somebody else.
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But that is the, that is the worldly way. That is a, that is a sinful way and a sinful disposition and attitude and sinful desire.
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It's unlike the nature and character of God. And what we ought to be doing is we ought to be thinking as we're listening, because listening is a part of speaking and communication.
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And we ought to be thinking before we say something. And what we need to do when someone comes with something is that we need to, to tell that person that we are not going to listen to them, that we don't have the right to hear what they're saying, because we might not even be involved.
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We are going to tell them that what they're doing is sinful and they should stop. They should desist from doing this.
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And we should send them back to the person so that they get it straight with that person and, and, uh, and deal with that so that we're not ones who keep perpetrating this, this gossip in the stories because backbiting and malicious slander chips away at other people's lives.
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And it mocks the unity that the Lord Jesus Christ would desire to give to his children and to the church.
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Now some, I was just thinking in my head, you're probably thinking, why is brother Dave teaching this lesson?
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I mean, there must be a major problem in the church with gossiping and slander. No, we're human and we speak and we, you, we have a tongue and we do it every day.
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And how many times have you said something and then after the fact you said, I wish I hadn't said that. I really, I, Oh, I should have said it better.
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Or maybe I should have waited because I didn't know the whole story. So it's, it's rubber meets the road teaching, isn't it?
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And one of the ways that we can so devastate other people is, is by a misuse of the tongue.
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And that's why it's important for us to, to study this. I, I believe that as a child of God, we desire like first Corinthians 10 31 whatsoever you eat, whether therefore you eat or drink or whatsoever you do.
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I think in that category speech comes, right? It's a, it's a blanket, general statement, whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
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And wouldn't a God that we'd all be able to. And I was so convicted when I, when
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I studied this this week, um, about just checking my own self being careful of what we speak.
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So that, and ultimately the Lord is glorifying. If a person does practice malicious gossip, they are a deceiver, a liar.
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And the Bible calls him a fool, a tongue that is out of control and speaks falsely.
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Notice what it says about that in verse chapter 25, if you'd like to turn their Proverbs 25, a person who is a false witness, a tongue, which is a tongue that is out of control and speaks falsely against their neighbor.
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It says in verse 25, 18, a man that bears false witness against his neighbor is like a mall or a club, a sword and a sharp arrow.
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So if you speak falsely, if you speak with a, with an intent to, to hurt someone else by by saying something that is not correct, you're, you're, you're passing on information or speaking about the person in a way that you know is not correct.
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It says it's a, it's a, it's a false witness. They're like a club, which hurts like a sword, which slices and like an arrow that pierces.
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And that's not, that is not hurting. That is not slicing and piercing in a good way. And again, that's contrary to the heart and attitude that I believe the
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Lord would have us to have towards other people. If you can want to look also in Proverbs 18 and in verse six,
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Proverbs 18 verse six, it says a fool's lips enter into contention and his mouth calls for strokes.
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And the more I began to look at this verse, it was like, this is the one I was alluding to earlier. What this means is a fool's lips enter into contention.
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That means a fool's lips basically like to walk into a fight. I mean, and then it says that the second part of that verse and his mouth calls for strokes and his mouth invites a beating.
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This type of person who speaks this way in this foolish matter is say, hi, I'm here and I've got all this stuff to dump out of my mouth.
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Would you please hit me? You know, would you just kind of sock me right in the face?
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And you know what? So, so, I mean, if you take that person and you look at the world and you, or you look at people who have been in fights that come into work and I work with a lot of people that come into work with bruises on their face and you know that they didn't walk into the door jam.
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That's the excuse. They've been out late at night and they've been doing and consuming things that they ought not to have been, which left them in a position where they're did not.
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They did not have their full faculties and they were out of control and they said things that they ought not to. And they said, they said, hey, or hey, just give me the club.
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Just let, let me have it. I mean, how fool it is foolish, right? It sounds funny, but it's foolish.
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And we don't want to be that type of person. The kind of person whose talk just brings purse, just pain in any relationship that they have.
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Now there is little truthfulness in what fools speak to other people.
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The more their tongues move, the more their mouths, as it says in Proverbs, pour out foolishness. It just keeps coming and rather than concern themselves with pleasant words that bring inner satisfaction to those who hear them, they see kinds of juicy gossip.
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As the scripture says that taste they're like tasty trifles, which go down into the inmost parts of the body.
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And if they are accused of gossiping, notice what it says in chapter 26, if they, if they are accused of it in 20 in Proverbs 26, notice what it says in verse 18 and 19 as a man, as a mad man who cast forth fire brands, arrows and death.
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So here is this mad person. Here's this person out of control, this foolish person that just throwing forth these words that are like fire brands and arrows and death is the illusion here.
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It says in verse 19, so is the man that deceives his neighbor and he's doing it with words.
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He's deceiving. He's deceiving his neighbor and he's like this person that throws forth these fire brands, arrows and death.
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And then when he's all over, he says, in the King James, it says, am I not in sport or is I was only joking?
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No, you weren't. You meant it. You meant it from your flesh. You meant it from your, your heart, which was, was desirous to hurt somebody else and therefore you deceived and you, and you deceived your neighbor.
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You lied, whatever it was, the foolish person does this. And then they just say, Oh, wasn't I only joking?
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I mean, I think believers are, our words are to be precise. They ought to be controlled like everything else in our lives, not out of control.
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We are controlled people. We are a people who the scripture says we are filled with the
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Holy spirit, not only indwelt by, but filled with the Holy spirit. We are, we are controlled by that's what that word means.
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We are influenced by the Holy spirit who is desirous. His desire is to have us to be conformed to the image of Christ, that Christ would be glorified in our lives.
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And one of the ways that's done is by godly speech, by good words. And we don't want to have to be people who say,
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Oh, I didn't mean it. Or I was only kidding or I was only joking. We don't want to have to say that because sometimes we have to say that because what we say, we said, we know we shouldn't have said it.
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We're trying to justify it or trying to get away, go away from it or smooth it over. And you can't because the damage is already done.
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I remember as a kid, there were times when when I accidentally broke a window, like with a baseball, you know, throwing something or a rock or something
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I shouldn't have thrown in the direction that I didn't, it broke a window. And as I just wish I could take that, that rock or that baseball back.
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But you know what, the damage was done. You can't, you know, you just can't unbreak a window. It's not like you can kind of smooth that over, you know, glue it all back together again.
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It's not going to look right. And you can't undo the things easily when you, when you unleash words that are foolish.
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So what must we do? The book of Proverbs exhorts godly people everywhere to act and speak wisely.
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And the ability to control our words enables us to control our whole lives. Proverbs 21, 23.
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If you guide your mouth, you guide your life. You keep your soul from trouble. Notice what it says in Proverbs 29,
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Proverbs 29, verse 20, 29, 20.
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Do you see a man that is hasty in his words? So we look up in verse 11, a fool utters his mind, but a wise man keeps it in till afterwards.
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Get the, get the contrast here. The fool just lets it rip. There's no check valve. When I was a kid and we went to, we went to the places where they had the go -karts, you know, no matter how hard you push that pedal, you can only go so fast because they had a governor on the engine.
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They had a little thing that would keep it from not going faster than that. And, and the idea is for the child of God, there ought to be a governor on our tongue and on our mouth.
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The, the, I think it's Psalm 141 verse three, I believe, where the
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Psalmist is asking the Lord set a watch, Oh Lord, or put a guard, a military term, put a
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Sentinel, Lord God, put a, put a guard, somebody before my mouth, keep or guard the door of my lips.
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That's the prayer of the, of the Psalmist. And we ought to be people that have a governor, so to speak upon our lips.
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But in verse 20, it says in 29, 20, see thou a man that is hasty in his words. There is more hope of a fool than of him.
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More hope of a fool. We need to be careful. We must be careful in the words we choose. We must be deliberate in the choice of our words.
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And we need to take the time to think carefully about what we are about to say. I can get this and show you this principle in chapter 15,
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Proverbs 15 about this being careful and, and this taking time to watch what we're doing.
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Proverbs 15 verse 28, Proverbs 15, 28, the heart of the righteous.
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Oh, that's the godly person. That's the Christian. The heart of the righteous says here in the
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King James studies to answer, ponders your, your translation might say, ponders it, thinks about it, considers it does a little work before we answer or before we say something.
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But notice the contrast, the way that we don't want to do it. Proverbs 20, 15, 28, the second part of the verse, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.
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It just keeps coming. But the righteous person, the godly person thinks about it, studies it.
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You know, at work, I try to teach my staff when it comes to their emails that their emails are a reflection kind of in a way of them and they just need to read them and be careful and at least use spell check.
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I mean, you know, just to make sure that it looks, the words are spelled correctly, but there's a tone that comes across.
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And so study, you know, look at it and read it a couple of times before you hit the enter key. And wouldn't, wouldn't it be great if we just kind of stop just a moment before we spoke and did the same thing.
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And there's like a speak check, you know, we just think about, and we, we put our words before the word of God and let, and let the, let these questions be examined or study in this way and be careful.
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Will what we say glorify God? What am I about to say? Will it glorify
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God? Well, what I say, please, my savior. How about this?
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Will what I say be of help to the person who hears it or will it hurt them? And that speak check,
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I just made that up while we're doing this class. It's kind of came, you know, of course the
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Lord gives all things. So I'm thankful for the third one. How about this? Would we be ashamed if our words were broadcasted all over the world?
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Would we be ashamed? Let me just give you a hint too. When it comes to email, do you realize there are some people who think that when
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I talk to somebody with email, nobody else can see this. Nobody else is going to read this.
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Um, do you understand that if you use hotmail or Google mail, or if you're on your job at work, that they own that, they own the content and they can see everything that you've written.
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And as a matter of fact, when you're talking to somebody else versus, I mean, if you ever had this, you verbally speak someone, something to someone and you think that it's in confidence.
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And then a week down the road, you're hearing somebody else saying the same thing. What happened? That person who said they would not tell anybody and you asked them to not tell anybody.
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They told somebody else and it went around. Do you think the same thing happens with email? Do you know there's a function in email called forward and people just do that.
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Be careful before you hit the enter key. We need to be careful. And if there was an enter key, like on our lip right here, our cheek or something, or our tongue, enter key before it gets sent, be careful, very careful.
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The godly person knows that there's no such thing as an innocent rumor and that there is absolutely no excuse for repeating words that are not edifying or necessary or true.
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Imagine this concept. If gossip was never repeated, it would quickly die. If it was never repeated, it would die.
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Okay. Look in Proverbs 26, Proverbs 26, verse 20, 26, 20, where no wood is the fire goes out.
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What does that mean? The Bible is so difficult to understand. You know, not everybody can interpret it.
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Not everybody. You know, you hear that, that argument. What does that mean where it says where there is no wood, the fire goes out.
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Somebody help me. Hmm. Jolly. Okay.
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All right. That's right. One of the rules of interpretation. Just keep reading.
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So where there is no tail bearer, where there is no whisperer, the strife ceases.
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I mean, you got a campfire, fire going. You don't feed it fire. You don't feed it wood. What happens?
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It goes out, right? Basic principle of law of nature, spiritually speaking.
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And when it comes to physical, I mean, physical lives, but something we ought to do spiritually, thinking about, pondering what we're saying.
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If there is no whisperer, if there is no passer on of those tails, tail bearers, if there is no gossipers, if there are no slanders who just keep perpetrating it, the strife ceases.
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And I wonder our words as we consider them, are they like wooden building blocks, kind of like that edify our hearers, or are they more like wood that fuels the fires of strife?
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Pretty convicting, isn't it? I mean, it's like, Oh, brother Dale, I can't, I'm not, I'm not even awake yet. I mean, here I am coming, coming to church and want to worship the
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Lord. It's okay. It's okay to hear things like this, to be encouraged and to, and to be warned.
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And, and certainly as a child of God, don't we want to excel when it comes to, to glorifying the
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Lord and serving the Lord and bringing honor to the Lord. And I think that in any church, in any marriage, in any relationship, on any job in our personal lives, we all know that we've done some damage with, with our tongues.
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We have to be, we need to be careful. The words that we've used have not been choice. We've not pondered them and we've gotten in trouble.
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And for the glory of Jesus Christ to be able to, I mean, you realize that when the Lord Jesus walked upon the face of the earth, he never misused that tongue that was in his mouth.
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His words were, his words were perfect and they were pure and they were helpful and they were healing and they, they were, they were weighty.
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They had that gravitas that you hear that word that was kicked around in the political arena a few years back.
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Weighty words, valuable words, our words, as it says in the scriptures, should be a well of life.
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Did you see that earlier? When we read that, we ought to, our words ought to be a well of life. And I get the picture of drawing cool water, refreshing water from a well.
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That's in Proverbs 10 verse 11. The contrast between the foolish and the godly in Proverbs 11, 13, we won't turn there, but it says the tail bearer reveals secrets, but he was of a faithful spirit conceals the matter.
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It's careful. Now you might be thinking, all right, I'm never going to speak again.
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That's not how I'm going to take care of this. That's how I'm going to keep myself from sinning. I'm just,
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I'm just not going to open up my mouth again. Well, on the contrary, you have the scriptures that's that's talked to what our words should be like.
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So that means it's okay to speak. It's just speak with control, speak, speak in a proper way.
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And this, you know, what I'm saying doesn't mean that the believer isn't, is supposed to always keep their mouth closed at all times.
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We should never say anything on the contrary. Here's a saying I once heard that that could be helpful though.
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It is better to keep one's mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
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Have you heard that one before? It's better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool.
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And who cares what people think about us than to open our mouths and remove all doubt and show that we are being foolish.
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Don't be a person who just talks to be heard. You know what I'm talking about? Chatterbox. You ever talk to somebody and no matter what you said, they had to outdo you no matter what you knew, they knew more and it's just this, this babbling and this just chatter.
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Um, here's a hint. When you're talking to somebody, look at their body language, look at their facial expressions.
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And are they doing like that or you know, they're doing this or they're backing off or they're doing this.
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Then, you know, we, we, we need to maybe just close our mouth and just stop at least just stop for a while and say, think, what am
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I, what am I saying? Why am I turning this person off? Why am I pushing them away? Why do they, why does it look like their face has turned a deeper shade of red?
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You know, what, what am I saying to them? What is, what, what, when you think about your audience, think about the words, this is this studying to answer, thinking about what we're saying, pondering.
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Um, it's, it's, it's helpful. When we do that, it will, it will show how maybe helpful or powerful or persuasive or welcomed our words are to their ears.
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Um, and if you're not sure, if you don't have a sense that you're being helpful, then maybe it's time to close the conversation.
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On the other hand though, in a good sense, spiritually mature people can speak and be quite talkative, but it is, listen to this.
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It is the quality of their words and not the quantity of them that makes their words worthwhile.
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It is the quality, not the quantity as we read in Proverbs 10 31 verse first part of that verse, the mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom.
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There is this, there is this bringing forth of, of, of, uh, of wisdom that comes when they open their mouths.
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It's what the words they speak are wise and, and, but the foolish person as it says, um, does not do this.
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It says in Proverbs 10 32, um, a, the beginning of that verse, the lips of the righteous know what is acceptable.
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And we're going to, I think we'll make, if I have time, we'll touch on that also. But God in Proverbs 6 17,
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God hates lying. Remember all the, the six things the Lord hates and CA seven or abomination to the
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Lord. One of them is the lying tongue. And in verse, in chapter Proverbs 8 13, it's a little paraphrase, but God hates the forward or the dirty mouth.
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God hates that. And we also find instruction in this book that reminds us that a wholesome tongue is a tree of life.
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Proverbs 15 four, a wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in the tongue breaks the spirit.
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And believing these things to be true, then the Christian ought to attempt and strive to control their tongue by following admonitions.
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And I like to give you some new Testament versus two to write down Ephesians four 29, do not let any corrupt words proceed out of your mouth, but what kind of words should come out that which is good or necessary edification and may impart grace to the hearers.
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That's what our words should do. They should impart grace to the people who hear them. Also Colossians four verse six, let your speech be always with grace seasoned with salt that you may know how you ought to answer every man, every,
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I mean, you know, when a, when a chef prepares the food or, or the wife, whoever's cooking at the house prepares the food and seasons it just right.
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So that when it hits the table and hits your palate, it's just great. And we ought to be thinking that our words ought to be seasoned that way with, with salt, that we ought to be carefully preparing and thinking about so that when it comes to the person administers grace, it's very helpful and very tasty for them and it's profitable and beneficial for them rather than using his, his, the contrast, cutting demeaning, piercing, hurtful, spiteful, harsh, abusive words that tear others apart.
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We ought to use pleasant, appropriate, healing, helpful, comforting, gracious, truthful, inspiring, unforgettable, kind and well -chosen words to build up other people.
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His, his, a thought when we conclude our conversations with another person, our listeners should be thankful for what they heard from us.
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They should be walking away thankful for that conversation that they had with us rather than thankful that they're getting out of our presence.
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And that's, that's a difference. How about the
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Proverbs 31 woman in, in Proverbs 31 verse 26, it says, she opens her mouth wide with what anybody remember begins with a
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W ends with an M as an I S D O in the middle. She opens her mouth with wisdom and it says there is, there's the law of what is upon her tongue.
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Kindness, the law of kindness is upon our tongue. Great for women and great for all of us. I'm going to just rip through some verses and those that are taking notes that may not want to get this.
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And for those that came in late, if you give me your email address, I'll send this all, all to you. In the proper use of the tongue, we should always avoid these things through the
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Proverbs. We see these, this is the way of the fool in four 24 crooked speech in six 17, the lying tongue in eight 13 perverted speech or dirty mouth in 10, eight babbling in 10, 18 to 21 uttering slander in 11, nine using words to destroy other people, 11, 12 belittling, belittling your neighbor in verse in 13, three, it says the wide open mouth will bring the person to ruin.
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It's the yesterday we were at a cookout and there was a baby sitting on the lap of one of the ladies and the baby was bending over and sticking their foot in their mouth.
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And it just thought me open mouth insert foot, right? The foot shaped mouth. We don't want to do that.
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When we speak, we open our mouth, brings us to ruin 51, avoid harsh words, 17, nine, whoever repeats a matter separates friends, 18, 13.
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If one gives an answer before he hears his, it is folly and shame. So listening is important.
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Also 20 verse 19, whoever goes about slandering reveal secrets.
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Therefore do not associate with a simple babbler. And just remember this when it comes to, to, uh, talking to other people, um, those, when you're in a conversation, those who talk to you about other people will in turn, talk to other people about you be very careful.
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Sometimes it's, we have to be really careful what we say to people because we know that it cannot and will not be held in confidence.
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And so if we never say it, we're not going to have to be concerned about it, making the circle and coming around and causing all kinds of damage.
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25, 23, like the North wind that brings forth rain, the back biting tongue brings angry looks 29, 20.
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Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? We talked about that. Don't be hasty in your words. How about instead of, instead of corrupt speech, those who desire to please the
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Lord and use their words in a way that is wise and brings glory to the Lord, or this is the way of wisdom.
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10, 11, our words should be a fountain of life. 10, 21, our words should feed many 10 30.
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Uh, that was 10 21, 10 31. Our words should bring forth wisdom. 12, 14. It should bring satisfaction to your soul.
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The words that you use your speech, 12, 17 should declare righteousness. 12, 18 should bring healing to other people.
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12, 22 should deal truthfully. 12, 25 they, your words, good words can make the heart of another person glad.
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Isn't that true? Have you ever been in the presence of someone when you were just down and a downcast and somebody just said that choice word, it was like Proverbs 25.
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I think it is. Okay. So I don't get there. I think it's
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Proverbs 25 verse 11, where it says that a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver or an app word is like, um, uh, uh, settings of gold pick.
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It's just beautiful. It's, it's in the word fitly spoken or aptly spoken comes from a root word, which means to revolve like a season, or it's a word in season.
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It's the right word. It's an appropriate word. And that person came with the appropriate word.
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And wasn't it just beautiful. It wasn't a refreshing to your soul. Wasn't it just so helpful. You went away from that person and you said,
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Lord, thank you for allowing me to hear what that person had to say. It just helped you through that day.
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It could have totally changed your life. Wouldn't it be great that our words, as we're speaking to people in the conversations we have, when people come to talk to us as a fork in the road, and they could go off this way and be hurt and it could be painful and destructive, or they could go this way in there and they're refreshed.
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They're encouraged. They're edified. They're an edifice building. They're built up with, with, because of our words.
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What else? Let's see. Proverbs wise words. Proverbs 1425 deliver souls.
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Proverbs 15 one says the soft answer turns away wrath. Proverbs 1523 an appropriate answer brings joy to a man and a word in season.
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How good it is. It's really good. Gracious words are pure. 1526 1621.
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This is a, this is a neat one. Sweetness in words or pleasant words of speech increase their persuasiveness.
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Do you understand that, that the persuasiveness, maybe the young children it's this way. It's not the volume of the screech that is persuasive when it comes to talking to other people.
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It's the sweetness of the words. It's the pleasantness of the words. And those words in order to be sweet and pleasant, they must be well thought of and first of and studied and, and they're well -chosen words.
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How about this picture? Proverbs 1623 to 24. The heart of the wise man makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips.
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Gracious words are like a honeycomb sweetness to the soul and health to the body. How about 2015?
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The lips of knowledge are like a precious jewel. 30 verse 32.
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And here's one that's just the practical practical tip for us. Proverbs 30 verse 32. If you have been foolish, exalting yourself, or if you have been devising evil and it's talking about speech, it says, put your hand on your mouth.
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That is just the biblical sanctified way of saying, shut your mouth.
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We don't like to say those words or shut up. We don't like to hear, hear those words. Sometimes we won't say those thoughts until I understand.
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The Bible says, put your hand in your mouth. It does tell us to do that. So in conclusion, those who desire to live godly or in a wise way, remember that the
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Bible equates the importance of guarding their tongue with the importance of guarding our own life, our own way.
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Because it says there, as we began Proverbs 21, 23, whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps his souls from trouble.
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Can you imagine what would happen if Christians today took God's word to heart and stopped all gossiping, slander, backbiting, whispering that goes on in churches, or even when it comes in our homes or on the job or with friendships, and purposed to think before we spoke.
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Am I glorifying the Lord? Am I pleasing the Lord? Will this hurt or help other people? Would I be ashamed if this was repeated?
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A .B. Simpson once wrote, I would rather play with forked lightning or take live electrical wires in my hands with all their fiery current than to speak a reckless word against any servant of Christ or idly speak the slanderous darts which thousands of Christians are hurling on others to the hurt of their own souls and their bodies.
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An attitude like that could revolutionize any church, I believe. And may we as Christians, as followers of Christ, recognize that, as it says in Proverbs, and if you would turn there as we conclude,
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Proverbs 18, Proverbs 18, 21. This is how powerful words are.
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Proverbs 18, 21, death and life are in the power of the tongue. Death and life in the power of the tongue.
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And I think we should take that to heart and live accordingly. If we've been foolish and we've exalted ourselves, repent, ask the
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Lord to forgive us, and purpose to close our mouths at times when we ought to be thinking about what we're saying.
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If we have not been careful in the past in how we've said, let's just do it differently. By the grace of God, by the power of the
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Holy Spirit, by the pressing upon us of the word of God, these are texts that we've read and we've looked at and we've seen the difference between a person who speaks foolishly and a person who desires to speak wisely.
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We've seen it. We've seen the principles. We've seen the results of foolish words and the results of godly and wise words.
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It's just something, another place, another area in our lives where we ought to just check. Spell check.
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Grammar check. Speak check. We ought to do that. And hopefully that our words would be like it says in 2511.
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I just love that of all of the different illustrations of what speech is like.
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A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
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Write appropriate words that fit the occasion and when they are spoken, they are like spoken in season in the right way to where they are beautiful, they are valuable, and they are waiting.
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Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth. Psalm 141, verse 3. Keep the door of my lips.
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Any question or comment? I know it wasn't too interactive, but I had a lot of material to cover.
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It's tough when you do the Proverbs and you want to do one subject, but I wanted to push through it.
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We did pretty good. I started late. It's about 47 minutes. Not too bad. Any questions?
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Yes. If you're telling the truth, it's fine.
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If you have an ungodly, fleshly motive behind it, if you're doing it in a slicing, dicing way, then it would not be right.
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If you're demeaning the person, if you're passing on false witness, then it would be wrong, the principles that we looked at.
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But what would be the reason behind you doing that? If you're trying to show somebody that, hey, look,
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I think that this candidate versus this candidate would be better because of these reasons, and I've considered it prayerfully,
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I've looked in the Scriptures, and you're trying to help the person, that would be fine. But if you're trying to do it for any other intent, which would not bring honor to the
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Lord, then it would not be correct. Any others? Yes, sir. When it comes to false doctrine, false teachers, there's an appropriate way,
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I believe, to do that when you're speaking about someone else. Certainly, it's there go I, but by the grace of God, right?
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When it comes to a false teacher, I could be caught up in this. So I want to be pitiful. I want to be merciful. And I want to be careful that I don't make fun of.
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That happens so often in Christian circles. Make fun of people who are caught up in false doctrine and on their way to hell.
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How uncharitable and how so opposite of God. That's why sometimes when
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I hear a message, I was preaching at the church in Lancaster. Was it last week or the week before?
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Last week. One of the men got up to lead the service. The first thing he did as he's going through, he's making an account of one of the gentlemen in the talking about this guy's life.
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And we'll come down to it. This is the opening of the service. It was a joke. And it just kind of fell.
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I mean, for me, it was like sandpaper on my soul. I mean, it was inappropriate. And sometimes when we when we speak about other people, it can be inappropriate and we can make fun of them, demeaning them.
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And we're not even dealing with the issue. And what that is, is pride, because we're trying to make ourselves look better than that person.
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And we're doing it with words. So it's OK to speak about false teachers to other people.
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Again, like I said to Sixto, if the desire and the motive and the intent is with our words, we're trying to help.
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We're trying to warn somebody about this person. Don't go there. Don't listen to this. Don't buy their books and teach and show the person what is it that they're teaching that's wrong.
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And this is what the Bible says. And leave it at that. But when you get to the place where you just start making fun of people and you're mocking it and you're, you know, you're cutting them up.
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And it really just when you do that, you know what happens? It takes all the power away from your words.
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It just totally takes away anything that you've said, because you're you're you're looking foolish when you're doing that, because you're really not dealing with it in a proper way.
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I hope that answer your question. We can talk a little bit more later, but it's OK to talk about other false teachers to other people, as long as your motives are correct and you do it in an appropriate way to help warn to guide somebody in the way that that they should go.
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Let's pray as we conclude the Sunday school. Father, thank you so much for your word.
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Thank you for the instruction of it. Lord, in this area of our lives, which we deal with every day because we do say words so many times, we couch our words, we hide our words.
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We have a wrong intent. We have no desire to be of help or be part of the solution.
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And we say and we repeat words and would forgive us. I pray that you'd help us to consider, to ponder, to study the words that we're about to use.
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We so desire one to do. Our desire is to want to glorify our
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God, which is in heaven and to honor Jesus Christ and to be a good testimony and help us to do so, even by by looking to you for your strength and grace for us to be able to tame our tongues.