The Fifth Commandment

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I want to invite you to take out your Bibles and turn to Exodus.
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Some of you probably expected me to say Hebrews, as we have been studying Hebrews now for a while.
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But every once in a while, we will take a step away, especially on different occasions, look at different passages and do an exposition on them.
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So today we're going to be looking at Exodus chapter 20.
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Those of you who have been here with us probably remember that in our study of Hebrews, we were talking about Christian ethics and practical Christian living.
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And we said, really, the Christian ethos can be boiled down to two very simple principles.
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We are to seek to live at peace with other people and we are to seek to live in holiness towards God.
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That's really the Christian ethos, if you were to boil it down.
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And it's bound up in the words of Christ when he was asked, what is the greatest of the commandments? He said, you are to love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and you are to love your neighbor as yourself.
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That is really the...
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And he went on to say, in fact, he said all of the law and the prophets are bound up in that.
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And that very simple principle, that twofold principle, that we are to love the Lord, our God, with all our mind, all our soul and all our strength, and we are to love our neighbors ourselves.
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All of the principles for Christian ethics, all of the principles for life and living as Christ are bound in those two commandments.
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So this morning we are going to go back into the book of Exodus and we're going to look at the Ten Commandments, particularly we're going to look at commandment number five.
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The reason for that is because really, if you take those two commandments, love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbors yourself, that is a distillation of the Ten Commandments, because the Ten Commandments are broken up like this.
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The first four of the Ten Commandments have no other gospel for the Lord, do not make any idols, not use the Lord's name in vain.
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And remember the Sabbath, those first four commandments are all directed towards God.
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And how are we to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength? Well, that's how we're not to have any gods before him.
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We're not to make any graven images to which we bow down.
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We're not to use his name in an unholy way.
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And we are to remember that which he has made holy and to keep it holy.
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That's how we love the Lord, our God.
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And then the last six of the commandments or what sometimes theologians call the second table, the second half of the law, the last six of the commandments are how we are to treat other people.
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And interestingly enough, the very first commandment on how we are supposed to treat other people, what the ethic is for treating other people begins with how we treat our parents.
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And it is today, which our nation has set aside for the honoring of the mother, that I want to spend some time looking at that commandment and giving an exposition of it.
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So let's stand together and read Exodus chapter 20, verse 12, and then we will pray and ask God to bless our time of study.
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Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12 says, honor your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord, your God, is giving you.
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Father God, as we seek to understand this passage of Scripture better, as we seek to study together and to learn together, I pray first and foremost, as I do every time I take this pulpit, Lord, that you would keep me from error, focus my heart intently on the truth and guard my mouth from speaking anything which would be in opposition to your word.
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And father, I pray for the hearts of the people, I pray for a hedge of protection to be around them, that their hearts would be focused, that their minds would be attentive to the word.
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And Lord God, that as we know all the time, we have an opportunity here to hear your word.
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We pray that we would sanctify this time in our hearts.
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For this is a special time, O Lord, this is a holy time.
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Help our minds not to be focused on what's coming later or what's going to be going on with the events of the day, but help us to be focused intently on this word, which is to be the lamp to our feet and the light to our path.
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We thank you.
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We praise you for all that you've given us.
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And we ask now that you be with us in this time of study.
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In Jesus name, amen.
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From the time of our birth, the very first relationship that we enter into as human beings is the relationship with our parents, especially our mothers.
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It is our mother's arms, which we are often placed in first after having been born.
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It is from our mother's touch that we receive our first inklings of warmth and comfort.
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Her very body produces milk, which quenches thirst and satisfies hunger, both at the same time.
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For the first years of our lives, this relationship to our mother is the highest and most important in regard to security, love and comfort.
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Mother's arms can warm a feverish chill, mother's kiss can heal an open wound and mother's smile can mend.
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Along with the father, the mother is the window through whom we learn about and understand the world around us.
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Is there any wonder, then, why when God begins to give us the prescription for how we ought to behave towards other people in the world, that he begins with the very first relationship that we have in the world, the relationship with mother and with father? This morning, we're going to consider three questions about the Fifth Commandment, three things that when people read this commandment, they often ask, and I wanted to provide an answer.
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If you're taking notes, I'll give you the three questions.
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The first question is, what does honor mean? What does that term honor mean? The second question is, how is the promise that accompanies this command fulfilled? Notice this command does have a promise attached to it.
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How is that promise fulfilled? And number three, and this is going to be the one I think would be I think is going to interest you quite, is there ever a time when this command is, is there ever an age where this command expires? Is there ever a command where this ever an age, do we ever get to a certain point where we no longer have to obey the command to honor our father and our mother? So that is the three questions we're going to seek to answer today based on this command.
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Of course, this command deals with both fathers and mothers.
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Being Mother's Day, we'll focus a little bit more on the mothers, but really the focus of the text is on parents, on the relationship children to their parents.
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So let's begin with the first question, what does the term honor mean? It says in Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12, honor your father and mother.
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But the word honor in English has multitudes of meanings, it can really have a bunch of different ways that it's used.
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We talk about people who have honor themselves.
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We talk about people who who live by a code of honor.
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We talk about people who we talk about the the honor roll at school.
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That's the kids who have done well and they go on this particular honor roll.
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So there's all kinds of different ways English uses that word honor.
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And this is one of those times where it's important for us to look back at the original language, because the original language can help us understand better what this word really means.
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The word in Hebrew is kabod or kabed, depending on how it is pronounced.
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And literally it means to be heavy.
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The word kabod is simply to be heavy.
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And in a bad sense, it means to be burdensome or severe.
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Someone might say the punishment that that criminal received for that crime was too heavy.
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It was too severe.
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It was kabod, it was too much.
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Likewise, you might say that in the opposite way, it means to be heavily good.
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It can have a bad connotation.
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And when it's bad, it's very bad.
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But it can also be heavily good.
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And when it's speaking in the good sense, it means to be numerous.
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It means to be rich.
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It means to be abounding.
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To give you an example, when it talks about Abraham having all of the cattle and everything that he had, because we know Abraham was a rich man, it spoke of that as kabod.
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It spoke of that as being he was very rich.
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He was abounding with all of these things.
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So in that sense, if it's bad, it's very bad.
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But if it's good, it is to be heavily good.
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And obviously, in this sense, the description here is toward the good, the NET, the New English translation of the Bible, which provides textual notes, says this, it says the verb kabod is an imperative and it calls for people to give their parents the respect and honor that is appropriate for them.
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It could be paraphrased to say, give them the weight of authority that they deserve.
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Next to God, parents were to be highly valued, cared for and respected, end quote.
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So that honor, that goodness, that appropriate behavior which we bestow upon our parents is supposed to be heavy.
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It is supposed to be weighty.
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It is supposed to be aboundingly good.
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That's what the word honor means.
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In fact, in layman's terms, I'll give you another way of thinking about it.
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In layman's terms, we might say that we are to be toward our parents heavily reverent.
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In fact, in Leviticus 19 and verse three, it says that in Leviticus 19, verse three, it says every one of you shall revere his mother and his father.
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The word revere there comes from the Hebrew word, which means to fear.
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Reverence is a form of fear, not a fear which leads to being emotionally scared, but a fear which leads to being appropriately respectful.
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The same way that the Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
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We know that verse, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
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Well, the same way the fear of our parents, not fear as, oh, I am afraid of my parents because I'm afraid they have you know, they're going to be angry with me or they're going to be mad at me or whatever.
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But it is a holy reverence toward our the position of our parents.
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It is reverence.
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We revere God and we also revere our parents, not in the same way as God, because no one takes that position.
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But we have to consider this when we disrespect God, we demonstrate that we do not revere him in the very same way when we disrespect our parents, when we dishonor them, we show that we also do not reverence them as the scripture commands us.
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Every one of us is to revere.
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To be honorable toward, to be heavily reverent toward our parents, to show them respect, to show them appreciation, to show them love as they deserve.
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So that is what it means when it says now it doesn't stop there.
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Verse 12 goes on to say, honor your father and mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
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Now, that's a promise, in fact, in Ephesians chapter six, the Apostle Paul makes a big deal about that promise.
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He actually says he says this is the first commandment that is tied to a promise.
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Ephesians chapter six, verses two and three, he focuses, he says, honor your father and mother.
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This is the first commandment with a promise.
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But what exactly is the promise and how does it apply? What's the promise and how does it apply? Well, there are really two ways of answering this question, and I'll give you both because there's a pragmatic way of looking at the commandment of the fifth or looking at the question of the fifth commandment, the promise.
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The pragmatic way is this.
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What's the promise? It says, honor your father and mother that you may what live long in the land.
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Right.
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Well, here's the pragmatic answer.
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I don't think it's necessarily the right one, but I wanted to tell you this because this is the answer that I've heard some people give.
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And it is an interesting way of reading it.
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In the Old Testament times, there were only a few things that warranted capital punishment.
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Just like today, there are only a few crimes that warranted capital punishment, murder, warranted capital punishment, certain types of deviant sexual behavior, warranted capital punishment, kidnapping, warranted capital punishment.
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Interestingly enough, in the Old Testament, if you read it, you'll see these are the various things that warranted capital punishment.
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But you want to know which one gets a lot of discussion in the Old Testament, which one thing which warranted capital punishment, which often people don't even talk about.
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Dishonoring of parents, Exodus chapter 21 and verse 17, whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.
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Now, I'm just saying, think about America today.
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We would like lose half the population.
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It could be more.
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I mean, seriously, the idea of this, what's interesting is, and I mentioned this on Wednesday night because we actually talked a whole lesson on capital punishment Wednesday night, interestingly enough, just happened to go together because we're in Romans 13.
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But I mentioned, I said, the one thing I've never found in Scripture, and if you find it and you bring it to me, I'll be willing to concede my ignorance on this one.
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I haven't found anywhere where it was fulfilled.
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I haven't found any parent in Scripture who brought this to bear on their child.
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Now, if I'm ignorant or if I'm wrong or if you're thinking right now, I know one, tell me afterwards because I want to know.
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But isn't it interesting that was even there as a command, that the command was there that a person who dishonored their parents were liable to the judgment unto death? And it's not just in Exodus 21.
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It's not like this.
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You know, we could call out, well, this is a one time command.
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It was very rare.
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Again, in Leviticus chapter 20 and verse 9, anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.
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Proverbs chapter 20, verse 20.
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If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out.
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And that, of course, is the proverbial way of saying he will be put to death.
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So if you wanted to take the pragmatic approach and say, well, what's the pragmatic promise? The promise is honor your father and mother that you may live long in the land.
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And if you don't, well, you won't.
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I mean, that would be a very pragmatic way of looking at that promise.
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However, I don't think that's the answer.
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I don't think that's what Leviticus chapter, excuse me, Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12 is dealing with.
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I think Exodus chapter 20 and verse 12 is dealing specifically with the national relationship of Israel to God, because, again, if you read it, it says honor your father and mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord, your God is giving you.
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Any time you see a reference to the land and it's tied to a command or promise given specifically to Israel, this is talking specifically about the land of Israel, which was given as part of the covenant promise, the land of Canaan.
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This is a promise which was given to them.
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And here is how the promise is fulfilled.
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When a generation of Israelites would come along and would refuse to respect their parents by disrespecting the God of their parents, that generation would fail to occupy the land.
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Do we see that in Scripture anywhere? Oh, yes, we do.
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We see that later on when the people of Israel began to reject God, reject the God of their parents and reject what they had been taught, the very first thing that happened was in 722, the northern kingdom fell to Assyria and in 586, the southern kingdom fell to the army of Nebuchadnezzar and Babylon.
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And we see they were out of the land in exile for years.
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They did not live long in the land as a result of the fact that they spurned the God of their parents.
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They spurned the God who had given them the promise.
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Now, is there a modern application, though, because that's the question, really, I mean, we can see the application of the people of Israel.
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We can see how it applies to the land and we can see how this applies to the Old Testament.
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But was there a is there a way to consider it today? I believe that there is.
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I believe that what we can consider today is this, when our parents and not all of our parents did, by the way, not all of our parents brought us up in a godly household, not all of our parents brought us up, bringing us to church, not all of our parents taught us about Jesus Christ.
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And I'm willing to concede that.
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And I know for many of you, that's the case.
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But let me just for a moment put this in your mind.
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When our parents do bring us up in a godly home, when our parents do bring us up in accordance with the ways of the Lord, when our parents do bring us up in a covenant family where that family has covenanted to follow God in a godly way, and yet we spurn that, we cannot expect that the blessings which were upon our parents to be upon us.
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It's simple, but it's principal if we spurn our parents, if we reject our parents, if we reject the teaching, the godly teaching which we have received, and then we turn around and see that the blessings which God gave to them are not being seen in our lives.
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We can recognize how this promise, so how what does honor mean? It means to be exceedingly good toward our parents.
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How is the promise fulfilled? The promise is a generational promise.
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That when a group of people, when a child rejects his parents teaching, when a parent or a child rejects his parents counsel, particularly godly counsel, he cannot expect the blessings of God to follow that rejection.
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Now, the last one, last question, the one I think, again, probably inspires a lot of interest.
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Is there ever a time in our life, is there ever an age to which we arrive wherein the fifth commandment expires and no longer applies? Let me change that.
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Let me ask, let me tell you how I normally hear the question, because honestly, I've heard this question a lot.
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Pastor, do I have to obey my parents once I'm an adult? That's normally and really that's the question.
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That's how it goes.
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The question is, you know, I'm 18 years old now or I'm 21 or I'm 25 or whatever.
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Do I still have to obey my parents? Well, I think I'm going to surprise you.
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The answer is no.
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Obedience is not necessary for honor after a certain point.
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But what is that point? What does the Bible say is the time when a man shall leave his mother and father? Well, let me tell you, it's marriage, right? Doesn't it say in the scripture that a man will leave his mother and his father and shall cleave unto whom? Unto his wife and the two shall become what? One flesh.
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And as such, they will create a new relationship, a new family and a new authority structure which exists in that family, which is not to be imposed upon from anyone outside, even parents.
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Oh, now I'm tiptoeing across the end, seriously, because I want to make this point.
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Yes, if you are in your parents home, if you are a child, the Bible says children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.
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Honor your father and mother.
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So it connects obedience to the fifth commandment.
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It does connect obedience to honoring your father and mother, but it connects it specifically for children, because if you are a child in your parents house and I'm talking away, we got like 30, 40 kids in this church.
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If you are a child in your parents house and you do not obey your parents, yes, you are dishonoring your parents because obedience is part of that honor.
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And to be disobedient is to dishonor your parents.
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But yet, when a new family structure is created, when a new family unit is put together and there is a new authority structure in the house, which begins with father, mother and children, when that new authority structure is put into place, there is no one outside of that who is to bring to bear an authority.
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The authority exists for the father.
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This is why in wedding ceremonies, even to today and wedding ceremonies, how do they operate? The father holds the arm of the bride.
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He carries her down and I really cringe to think this would be me one day with my little girl.
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He has her arm.
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He walks her down the aisle and he symbolically passes that authority over because what's the question that the pastor asks? I've done this a few times, so I know who is it that gives this woman to be married to this man? And the father says, I do.
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I'm relinquishing at this point that authority which I had over her.
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And she is now coming up underneath the authority of another man.
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She is coming under the parental or the familial authority of her husband.
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One of the most dangerous things for a marriage, beloved, hear this and hear it well.
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One of the most dangerous things for a marriage is when one or both of the people in that marriage choose to allow an authority of either of the parents to overrule the authority of the home.
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When a man and woman get together, they establish a new family and they function, they must function as God intended.
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The husband is the spiritual head, the protector, provider of the home.
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The mother is his helpmate, the nurturer, the manager of the home and the children who are in subjection to the parents.
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If any person outside that sphere, even grandparents or anything else, attempt to exercise an authority in that home, it is a breach of the system which God has set up.
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And it is, in fact, itself a sin.
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Because it is stepping outside of the system which God has provided for families.
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Now, having said all that, let's go back to the question.
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I have to say that I think it's important.
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Having said all that, I want to answer the question because the question was, does the command to honor ever expire? And the answer to that is no, the command to honor never expires.
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Though the issue of obedience is one that understands a positional hierarchy and a positional authority, the question of honor, well, that never expires.
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A person is not commanded to be in the subjection of their parents forever, but they are commanded to honor them forever.
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The parents are to be held in high esteem, respected, appreciated throughout their lives.
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There is no expiration date on that.
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In fact, as a parent ages, there is going to come a time when even more honor will be needed to be shown.
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And what do I mean when I say more honor? Well, beloved, we are all advancing in age.
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I hear people say, well, we're all advancing in age, but me more quickly.
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No, no, we're all we're all advancing one day at a time.
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The only thing is, some of us have been on this earth a lot longer.
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No person is getting older and our parents are the same.
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And if the Lord extends our parents life to a certain point, it will be up to us to be the ones who take care of them.
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And beloved, that is our biblical responsibility.
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It's not just social.
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It's not just economical.
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It is a biblical responsibility that once a parent is at a point where they are without the ability to take care of themselves, that the child in demonstration of honor comes to them and becomes their caretaker.
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And that is the ultimate way in which we honor our parents.
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We are there for them and their later life as they are there for us and our.
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I remember two instances where I watched my parents care for their parents.
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It was a wonderful demonstration of the fifth commandment.
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I watched Pat care for Granny White as she grew older and when she got to the point where she could no longer live on her own, she came and lived at our home and I watched as she aged and Pat helped her with every aspect of life, whether it was getting the oxygen machine taken care of, whether it was cleaning her clothes, whether it was preparing her meals, whether it was fixing her bed for her to have.
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Likewise, I watched my mother care for Granny West as she grew too old and frail to take care of herself towards the end of her life.
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I watched my mom prepare her food to take her to the doctor to sit and pray by her hospital bed.
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And as such, I had an opportunity to see what it means to fulfill the fifth commandment.
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We have that responsibility.
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That's part and parcel of life.
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No one likes to look forward to what will come inevitably with time.
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But yet we mustn't forget our responsibilities.
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The honor command never expires.
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The Bible is very clear.
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We are to show honor where honor is due.
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And our parents, fathers and mothers alike, though they may not be perfect, though they certainly have made mistakes.
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And some of you undoubtedly have parents, either mothers or fathers, whose lives were not really commendable.
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But yet the command does not say honor the fathers and mothers who deserve it.
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It says to revere and respect the physician and seek never to be respectful.
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Give them double honor.
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Always do what's right, even if other people don't.
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We seek to be honorable to our parents.
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Because that's the command.
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And when we obey the commands of God.
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We not only honor them.
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Father, thank you for this opportunity to hear your word again preached.
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To be moved by this reality that we live under, the reality of the Fifth Commandment, to honor our father and our mother.
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Lord, this day I do consider the mothers that are here today represented and the mothers whose lives have impacted so many people.
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We do pray a blessing upon them.
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We pray that this service has been an encouragement to them.
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And Lord, God, as we are all children in here in some form or fashion, we are all someone's child.
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Help us all to seek to fulfill that commandment, that Fifth Commandment, to honor our father and mother.
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This we ask, Lord, in Jesus' precious name and for his sake.
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Amen.