Sunday Morning, August 26, 2018 AM

we might become the righteousness of God. That's the power of the cross.

Would you pray with me? Lord, we thank you for the blessing of these glorious songs that we've sung this morning that put with music declarations of your goodness, your grace, your mercy in Christ.

Lord, this morning I pray that you would once again open the eyes of our hearts that we might see your glory in the face of Christ.

Your truth revealed in your word that the

Holy Spirit might work in us today to conform us more and more to the likeness of Christ Jesus in whom is all our hope

Lord, would you bless your word this morning. We give thanks for this time in Jesus name.

Amen. This past July, July 14th

Cheryl and I celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary. So I was 10 and a half.

She had just turned 10 when we got married. No, well, we weren't much older.

We were, I was 20 and a half and Cheryl had just turned 20 when we got married. So you can figure out our ages from there.

Getting married at such a young age, we obviously thought we knew a lot and quickly found out we didn't know as much as we thought we did.

But God has been gracious. God has been so full of patience and loving kindness towards us and has helped us over the years to to grow in not only our knowledge of our

Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but in our understanding of one another. And those of you that have been married for any length of time, you can testify to the way in which

God works in our spouses to help both sharpen us and sometimes to shine a light in those areas of our lives that we would rather not have revealed.

I'm grateful for the blessing of my wife and for the many ways in which

God uses her in my life to to point me to Christ by the example of her life and her faith.

You know, as time passes in marriage, you do get to know your spouse pretty well over time.

And thinking about Richard and Janice Wood and the fact that they are going to be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

How good of the Lord to bring them through that many years. And I know we have folks here who have surpassed that mark.

And we have a great blessing in this congregation to be in the presence of people who have walked faithfully with the

Lord for decades and to see that example, not only in individual lives, but in marriages.

And that's a great, great blessing. But it does take time sometimes for us to get to know one another.

And I was reminded that in the example of a couple who in their 46 years of marriage, they had amassed a rather sizable collection of cut glass and pressed glass collectibles.

The whole display filled three china cabinets along with several other pieces of furniture. One day, the husband was chatting with a friend of his and he said just kind of offhandedly, he said, you know,

I'd like to sell all of this the day before I die just to see how much it's all worth. And his friend said, yeah, but you don't know when you're going to die.

He said, oh, yes, I would. If I were to sell all of it, my wife would kill me. So not all husbands understand their wives as well as that guy did.

One wife tells about the time that her husband was enjoying a day off from work and and he was watching her scurry about the house.

She picked up his dirty clothes, put away his work shoes, carried out his popcorn bowl from the previous night's football viewing.

She washed the breakfast dishes, wiped up the coffee he'd spilled, and ironed his shirts. And seeing a thoughtful look on his face, she wondered if he was beginning to realize just how much unnecessary work he was creating for her.

Maybe, she mused, maybe he would offer to help. And so she said, a penny for your thoughts.

I was thinking, he replied, that one of the things I like best about you is how you always find ways to keep yourself busy.

He probably needs to think a little bit, a little deeper about his wife.

You know, even in the best of marriages, the husband -wife relationship doesn't always come easy.

When two lives come together, they don't always flow smoothly.

I think I've shared this illustration before. I know I have when I was teaching the young adult Sunday school class, but someone has compared the blending of a husband and wife into one as being like the point where the

Monongahela and the Allegheny Rivers come together at Pittsburgh to form the

Ohio. And at that point, there are all kinds of dangerous currents where these two rivers come together to form the mighty

Ohio River. And it's really not until miles downstream that the river kind of smooths out and begins to flow at a more placid pace.

And that's kind of how marriage is. When couples first come together, even though they love one another deeply and they think they know one another thoroughly, they soon find out that there's a lot of things they didn't know.

And there are some rough moments at times, but as time goes on,

God is able to blend those two lives into one. And more and more as they exercise the grace of Christ with one another, their marriage reflects that grace to others.

Well, if that's the case in the best of marriages, think of what it's like in a less than ideal setting.

The currents are almost always strong and dangerous in that kind of situation. And it's to that kind of marriage that Peter turns his attention.

We've been, as I've had opportunity to preach, we've been going through 1 Peter, and today we come to 1

Peter chapter 3. And here Peter writes to wives who are believers in Christ, but their husbands are not.

It's sad that this is not an isolated incident. A rare case.

But the truth of the matter is, there are all kinds of women in churches who love the

Lord with all their heart, and they love their husbands, but their husbands are home.

And they have decided that church is not for them. Singing songs is not something they prefer to do.

Opening the Bible is not a need. For them. So how does a

Christian woman live a consistent life under the critical eye of her unbelieving husband?

Peter says that she needs to be a beautiful wife. A wife that exhibits inner beauty.

And what Peter says here to a wife in that particular situation, what he says there applies really to every wife.

To every Christian wife. And in a general sense, Peter's emphasis on cultivating the inner person applies to every

Christian. So if you have your Bible, turn to 1

Peter chapter 3 if you haven't already done so. And if you would stand with me as we read 1

Peter 3 verses 1 through 6. 1

Peter 3, 1 through 6. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed

Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

This is the word of the Lord. You may be seated. As we look at this passage of scripture, it is good,

I think, to note an observation made by William Barclay in his commentary on 1

Peter. He said, it may seem strange that Peter's advice to wives is six times as long as that to husbands.

Husbands just get one verse, verse 7, and we'll look at that next time. But he spends six verses addressing wives.

This is because the wife's position was far more difficult than that of the husband.

If a husband became a Christian, he would automatically bring his wife with him into the church and there would be no problem. But if a wife became a

Christian while her husband did not, she was taking a step which was unprecedented and which produced the acutest problems.

So how would a wife deal with that most difficult situation where she was a

Christian and her husband was not? Peter says that the key to being a beautiful wife is by practicing godly submission.

Okay, so there I've said it, the S word. Submission. Not a word that is well regarded in our current culture.

And not just applied to women, nobody likes the word submission.

Because it implies that I'm not in control. I don't have the ability to call the shots, to do what

I want. And so our society very much exalts the whole idea of me being in charge.

And so the whole idea of submission is not something that is held in high esteem throughout our culture, but it particularly has a bad connotation when it comes to women and especially wives in a marriage.

And it has been a word and a notion that's been abused. There have been far too many husbands, dare

I say it, Christian husbands, who have not exercised the role of headship in the home according to the model of Christ himself.

Rather than leading with godly authority as a servant leader, they've sought to be authoritarian in the home.

They've ruled with an iron fist, not just their children, but their wife. Sometimes to the point of abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse.

All under the guise of saying, I'm just doing what God told me to do as the head of my home.

Gentlemen, that is not what it means to be a godly leader, a godly husband.

And that certainly doesn't engender a wife to want to exercise submission.

So let's think about this whole idea of submission. To clarify for a moment, this doesn't mean that when a wife acts out of submission to her husband, that does not mean that she is in some way inferior to him.

If you look just down a little ways into verse 7, Peter makes the point of saying,

Husbands, your wife is an heir with you of the grace of life.

She is not inferior as a Christian, she's not inferior as a person. Genesis 1 .28,

God makes man and makes woman, and in Genesis 1 .28

it says that he told them both, Be fruitful and multiply and have dominion.

God said to them, have dominion. So the woman is not inferior as a believer, not inferior as a person.

Paul makes the point in Galatians 3 .28, he says that in Christ there are all these artificial distinctions that are made sometimes in a culture that are done away in Christ and in the church.

Now again, it doesn't take away the fact that there really is such a thing as male and female.

But Paul says, out of all that, where one is in cultures, one is exalted over the other, he says that's not true in Christ, we are one in Christ.

So, out of that, Paul is saying, submission is a needful thing for the sake of order in a society, and in a home.

It has nothing to do with value, but with function. So, Peter points us here, as we talked about in the previous sermon out of 1

Peter, at the end of chapter 2, he points us to the model of Christ, who is a model of submission himself.

At the beginning of verse 1 in chapter 3, Peter says, Likewise, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands.

Likewise what? Well, this whole passage here, if we back up into chapter 2,

Peter has been talking about how we as followers of Christ, how we're to live in the midst of an ungodly culture, an ungodly world.

And back in chapter 2, verse 11, Peter says, Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles, a thought that he started out with at the beginning of chapter 1,

I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.

Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evil doers, they may see your good deeds, and glorify

God on the day of visitation. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable.

And where does he go in talking about honorable conduct? Well, he says, be subject to the civil government.

That's where he goes next in verse 13. As followers of Christ, we are to be good citizens.

Be in submission to every human institution, whether it be the emperor or to governors.

Live as people who are free, living as servants of God. And then he talks about, in verse 18,

Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect. So there is this whole notion of recognizing and submitting to authority.

In that culture, in the master -slave relationship, which corresponds in many ways to our employee -employer relationship, you're not going to do very well at work if you don't submit to and respect your boss.

And Christians of all people ought to be those who best exemplify what it means to live under authority.

And to do so willingly and with joy. But Peter says,

I understand that not every servant has a master who treats him well.

But he says, even in those cases, be subject to your master.

And then he points to the example of Christ, who suffered for wrongs that he did not commit.

And you look there in verse 22, at the end of chapter 2. It says, he committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.

Yet when he was reviled, he did not revile in return. When he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.

By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the shepherd and overseer of your souls.

And then he says, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands.

In the same way as Christ himself submitted to God the

Father. So wives are called to submit to their own husbands.

And so rather than making this idea of submission something to be despised, something that is weak, because of the example and the model of Christ, it turns this whole notion of submission on its head.

It becomes a ministry out of a position of great strength. One commentator says, that phrase confirms that the role of submission is not a position of weakness, but one of unqualified strength.

It is the very role that Christ took to establish the kingdom of God. And so Peter points wives here back to the model of Christ himself.

And urges them to follow what Jesus did. And so that's the model of submission.

Jesus himself. What then is the goal of submission? Why are they to do this?

Is it just to make a more ordered society? Is it to acknowledge the fact that somebody's got to be in charge?

And so the husbands are called to that role. Well, that is true.

But that's not the ultimate goal here. It's not just to bring peace in the home, or order in the society, or a pecking order so that kids know who to defer to.

The goal of submission here is the winning of hearts for Christ.

That's the goal. And so Peter says, Wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.

There are some Christian wives who live with a husband who's not a believer, who is antagonistic towards their wife's faith.

And makes living out their faith hard, and burdensome, and difficult.

There are other husbands who are not believers, who are more gracious, more willing to let their wives go to church, participate in Bible studies, do things like that.

But nevertheless, they remain apart from the faith.

Either way, Peter says, Wives, you have an opportunity to make a difference for the sake of the gospel and the life of your unbelieving husband.

And so Peter says, Watch your talk. Watch your talk.

He cautions wives here against saying too much. I read of a preacher who talked about visiting a woman who was a

Christian and her husband was not. And she desperately wanted to see her husband come to the

Lord. And so her methodology to try to win him was at night, when they were home, that she would turn on the religious radio station and have it playing at a rather high volume to make sure that he heard the truth.

In fact, what she ended up doing was creating an environment where he desired and took advantage of opportunities to leave the home rather than to hear what was being said.

That's the tightrope sometimes that that believing wives have with an unbelieving husband is what do

I say? When do I say it? And how much do I say? Peter here says that in some cases, less is more.

You know, Proverbs talks about a wife who is constantly nagging her husband and calls that kind of wife a continual dripping.

And sadly, that continual dripping, while well -intentioned concerning the faith and the gospel, can serve to alienate rather than to draw.

And so, Peter says, be careful here about how much you talk.

Watch your talk. Basically, Peter says, keep it simple. I like the way

Warren Wiersbe puts it. That the heart of what Peter is saying here without a lot of talk.

It's not that you never talk about God. You never talk about Christ. You never talk about the church. You never talk about what

God is teaching you in his word. But it doesn't have to be all the time.

Without a lot of talk. In other words, those who don't believe the word can be won over without a word.

I thought about that and I thought about Psalm 19. Psalm 19 says that the heavens declare the glory of God.

And how do they do that? Just by being what

God created them to be. It says that they have no voice and yet the glory of the heavens has a voice that goes all around the world.

Without saying anything they say everything about the glory of God the creator. And it seems that maybe that's what

Peter is saying here. That there is a way to communicate the goodness of God and the grace of God in your own life as you live in such a way through your respectful and pure conduct as to gain the attention of your unbelieving husband.

So Peter says watch your talk and watch your walk. Peter says your husband is observing, he is seeing.

Now they may find some way to blow it off and say it's not that important or she must be trying to manipulate me in some way.

But Peter says no, your husband really is seeing. He says look when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

The word there for see is an interesting word. It's a word that refers to watching something with rapt attention with careful notice of what is taking place.

There have been more than one occasion when I've been watching a football game or a basketball game and Cheryl or one of the kids said something to me and I never heard it because my eyes were fixed on what was taking place on that screen.

That's the similar word that Peter uses here. They are seeing your conduct.

So Peter says watch your walk. Not only is your husband watching but God is watching.

God sees, God knows and so Peter says live your life with respectful and pure conduct.

And that respectful and pure conduct needs to be first and foremost directed towards God.

I'm reminded of what Paul wrote to the Colossians. Colossians chapter 3. He's talking to servants and he says whatever you do in word or deed do it as unto the

Lord. In other words in your work don't let it just be to please your boss.

But first and foremost let the goal of your work be done to please and honor and glorify

God. That's what Peter is saying here to wives that the purity and reverence of your life should be lived first and foremost to God's glory to please

Him. And in so doing it will be pure and honoring to your husband as well.

So watch your walk and again the whole goal of this is to win your husband to Christ.

Peter is calling wives to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit which results in Christian character which then spreads the aroma of Christ in the home.

I'm reminded of Monica. Monica was the mother of Augustine.

Augustine lived much of his early years into his young manhood as a complete pagan pursuing all fleshly pursuits that he could pursue.

And his mother Monica diligently prayed for him that he would come to know Christ come to repentance.

But she not only prayed for Augustine she prayed for Augustine's father, her husband who was also an unbeliever.

Augustine later wrote of his mother's witness to her husband.

He said she served him as her Lord and did her diligence to win him unto thee preaching thee unto him by her behavior by which thou ornamentest her making her reverently amiable unto her husband.

And in God's grace and mercy shortly before he died he too became a believer.

But it was that witness of Monica in her pure and reverent conduct that spoke eventually to her husband and to her son as well.

So the goal of submission is the gospel it's winning hearts of drawing unbelieving husbands to Christ.

But then Peter talks about the value of submission the value of submission verses 3 and 4 he says submission is beautiful submission is a beautiful thing first to Christ and then in marriage.

What does the world value? Well the world doesn't value submission the world values the things that Peter talked about here the things that are external in this time period in Rome.

Roman women were captivated just as we see still today by the latest fashions and they competed with each other in their dress and in their hairdos and they put all manner of things in their hair to make them be noticed and they had all kinds of makeup and fancy clothing and all of that was done to draw attention to themselves.

And that was what the world valued then and what the world still values today go into any department store how much floor space is given to clothes and cosmetics that's an indication of what the world wants.

And it's interesting the word that Peter uses here about adornment comes from the

Greek word cosmos from which we get our word cosmetic of making a show on the outside in fact

Peter uses another word there another phrase the putting on of it means to make a great display in order to draw attention to oneself.

Now the point in verse 3 is not the prohibition of braiding of hair and putting on gold jewelry any more than it's a prohibition to put on clothes what

Peter is trying to say to us all here is focus on what is internal not what is external imitating the glamour of the world in order to win an unbelieving husband is not going to work he says let your beauty be that of the inner person that Peter says is what

God values that is what is of great worth in God's sight when

Peter talks here about being of great worth it's a word that relates to being very lavish, very expensive from the world's point of view a quiet, gentle self effacing spirit is not all that important and not all that desirable but in God's sight those qualities of the heart are of great worth they are very lavish, very expensive it's sort of like when

Jesus observed the widow putting in the two copper coins in the treasury what did he say about her gift compared to those who were dropping in big bags of money which was greater, which was of higher value before God it was that which was deemed to be of little worth in the eyes of the world but was offered out of a pure heart to God and so Peter reminds wives that what is really valuable is that which is of the inner self the hidden person of the heart a gentle and quiet spirit a spirit that says

God you're the one who's in charge here my husband won't listen to my words so I'm gonna trust you for his salvation

I will pray for him, I will submit to him I will seek to be beautiful on the inside and I will rest in you and trust you for the outcome

I'm not gonna try to manipulate him but I will wait before you with a quiet spirit

Peter calls this imperishable beauty Proverbs 31 verse 30 you know this verse charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the

Lord is to be praised that's what

Peter is calling these wives to and he comes then to one last example of submission that being

Sarah, he says for this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed

Abraham calling him Lord and you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening now people would probably think it odd if wives today address their husbands as Lord that was not so odd in Sarah's day but it would be a little strange today so Peter's not saying this is how wives should always address their husbands but it's that attitude of reverence and respect that should be exhibited let the wife see that she respects her husband is what

Paul told the Ephesians in Ephesians 5 33 that's the idea here continue to do good as Sarah did

Proverbs 31 12 again talking about the virtuous woman says that she does her husband good and not harm all the days of her life and Peter says to wives who do that who follow the example of Sarah don't be afraid don't be afraid to submit don't be afraid that perhaps because of your faith in Christ physical harm could come for that was a possibility don't be afraid to refuse to participate in sinful evil acts that your husband might want you to do don't be afraid of persecution in general but trust

God now I do need to make one brief statement in relation to that Peter does not mean here he is not saying that God expects wives to accept physical mental emotional abuse from the hands of their husbands that's not what

Peter is saying here but woman is in that kind of situation she needs to get help she needs to get out of that situation and get help for her husband so Peter is saying he is not saying don't fear just stay in it and take it but he is saying that if hard things come as consequence of your faith in Christ don't be afraid

God will take care of you years ago church that served in Illinois there was an older woman there by the name of Rosie Gerritsen Cheryl you remember

Rosie Gerritsen Rosie was old when

I first knew her and she was a wonderful Christian lady she was a widow and more than once in talking with Rosie she would relate to me the story of her and her husband and they had had a long marriage but for most of those years her husband was an unbeliever and she told me on several occasions for 40 years she prayed for her husband that he would come to Christ and he was kind of a rough guy blue collar guy and she continued to live out 1

Peter 3 before her husband faithfully ministering to him serving him submitting to him showing the love of Christ to him day after day praying for him and about two years before he passed away

God broke through the hardness of his heart and he accepted

Christ and lived faithfully for the Lord until his passing and Rosie continually gave praise and thanks to God one for sustaining her in praying and then for God's goodness in saving her husband you never know as Paul said to the

Corinthians you never know oh wife whether you will save your husband

God has called us to peace I think about the witness of my own mom to my dad over the years and it was largely this kind of witness and it broke through to dad's heart so it's a difficult situation and we probably all know women who are in this spot but the heart of submission is not just a will to do the right thing but it's to be the right person to be first of all in a right relationship with Christ yourself and then the

Lord gives the strength to be that kind of godly wife a beautiful wife who submits first to Christ and then to her husband and then you never know what

God will do in that let's pray

Lord I thank you for the blessing of your word as we've read here this morning we see again the power of the gospel to transform a life in this case a wife who has come to faith in Christ and that through her faith and through her faithfulness

Lord you use her to draw her husband to Christ Lord may you use all of us in that kind of way would you help us to be faithful to Christ to be a witness in word and in deed not for our glory but for yours that Christ may be praised in his name we pray