Husbands, Love Your Wives (part 6) - [Ephesians 5:25-32]

Father, thank you for this morning. Thank you for the blessing we have of being able to gather here to study your

Word, to sharpen one another, to have fellowship, and to exalt the

Lord Jesus Christ. Father, we pray that our time this morning together would be beneficial to all who are here.

And Father, we want to honor you as we as we speak about things of the home and marriage and husbands loving their wives.

In Jesus' name, amen. Well, I was thinking, you know, we started in Genesis 2 talking about how it's not good to be alone.

And sometimes I talk to husbands and I get the idea that they would rather be alone. Pretty bad idea.

In Ephesians 5, it talks about how, and we've mentioned this before, about when you love yourself, you love, or when you love your wife, you are loving yourself because nobody ever hates their own body.

And I don't know if I've used this illustration, I may have, because it's true.

I once watched a gentleman who was not of sound mind chewing on his own arm, and I thought that man loved his body a little bit too much.

I mean, just not, he was not well. But it got me to thinking about other things that I've seen.

How many of you ever seen somebody ram their head into the wall? How many have ever done?

No, never mind. When you see somebody ramming their head into the wall, what do you think?

Besides, that's got to hurt. Or, oh, that's going to leave a mark. What's that?

Are they okay? I mean, are they thinking correctly? And the answer is what? No. When you are verbally rude, cruel to your wife, it's really, in a very real sense, it's like ramming your head into the wall.

What are you doing? How's that going to help anything? I mean, we ought to just say, hey, get a good running start, see how it goes.

It's not going to help. And as we've been talking about these things for the last several weeks, it's been a good reminder to me, and I've said this before, but I want to say it again because I know a lot of us still aren't doing it.

It's a good thing to start your day thinking about all the blessings that God has given you through your wife.

I often remind myself, you know, as I was reading something, I found something the other day, and I won't describe the whole thing, but I read something the other day, and this note from somebody else was 40 -some -odd years old.

And as I read it, I thought to myself, man, I mean,

A, it took me back, but B, it just made me think how blessed I am to be where I am now, to have the wife

I have and, you know, have my life just the way it is now. And I'm like, I could never have designed it.

I never would have designed it. And if you'd told me 42 years ago where I'd be today,

I'd call you a liar. I'm blessed beyond anything

I could have ever imagined. So back to where we were, and as I'm skipping it,

I don't know why, we were talking about controlling your tongue last week, about the damage language can do, and I think it's often underestimated, and I say it for this reason.

I mean, I'll address it since I'm talking to the guys anyway. Can you remember what your wife said to you six months ago?

Can you remember what your wife said to you yesterday? How many guys can remember what their wives said to them on Tuesday of this week?

Show of hands. For most of you, your wives can remember most of you.

Some aren't like that, but many of them can recite everything that you said. And so when we see things like Colossians 4 -6, which is where we left off last week, let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

And we've been talking about Ephesians 5 and having edifying language. We can do a lot more for our marriages just by the way we talk with our wives, to our wives, and about our wives, than just about anything else.

If you recall, Hendrickson said last week, he didn't say it last week, but I quoted him last week, that our language should be seasoned with salt, and then he says that our language must not be insipid.

And he said, salt prevents corruption. In other words, extending the metaphor, edifying language builds up and it doesn't tear down, doesn't wreck your relationship.

Let's go to Ephesians 4 -32, Ephesians 4 -32. And again, this is within the context of the church.

If Ephesians 1 -3 is who you are in Christ, and then Ephesians 4 -6 is, therefore live in this manner,

Ephesians 4 -32 falls into that. It's talking about body life, so to speak. But Ephesians 4 -32 says this, be kind to one another, tender -hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.

Now, if we just take those imperatives one by one, and I just say it this way, be kind to your wife.

If I could just say that every Sunday, be kind to your wife, and have you do it throughout the week, I think our marriages in this church will be a lot better.

Be tender -hearted toward your wife, and then be forgiving of your wife as God in Christ forgave you.

What do you suppose is easier to do, forgive your wife or have your wife forgive you?

Which is easier? Okay, the one you have control over, which is forgiving your wife, right?

There's another reason why sometimes having your wife forgive you isn't so easy, and why is that? It's what

I said earlier. Not true all the time, but wives tend to have better memories about such things.

There are just some truisms in a household. Okay, let me put it this way. If you're looking for something, who's better at finding it, you or your wife?

Honey, don't we have some milk in the refrigerator? Yes, it's right there in the door. Well, I just looked, it's not there.

There it is! I mean, I was very pleased this week, because I was looking for something, and when

I mentioned it, my wife was like, I don't know where that is, and I thought, if I can find it,

I've really scored, and I did. You know, I was like, thank you, thank you very much. I didn't even put it away right away, because I wanted her to see that I found it.

I mean, it's just like one of those moments, you know, a world championship, I found something, whoo! But if we have memories that kind of are vivid and detailed, which wives often do, is it easier or harder to forgive?

And it's usually harder, because those things don't get erased.

But if we just think about this, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.

I like to talk about forgiveness. Why do you think it's good to talk about forgiveness?

We just asked that one. Why should we talk about forgiveness? Cindy? Okay, it brings us back to the cross, and it should give us humility, because we think about our own sins, and in light of everything that I've been forgiven, what kind of forgiver ought

I to be, right? The people, I mean, did Jesus say, you know, whoever is forgiven, how is it, forgiven more, you know, will love more?

And what does that mean? Who's forgiven more? Well, the bigger sinner, so does that mean we should sin that love might abound all the more?

No! What he's saying is, the more you recognize your own sin, and how

God has forgiven you, then you are more apt to be a loving and a forgiving person.

When we consider how God has forgiven us, I mean, you know, what are some of the,

I mean, if we just walk through this, what does it mean to forgive somebody? Because here's how it goes, you know,

Cindy sinned against me, as usual, and she comes to me, and she says, would you please forgive me,

Steve? And I say, yes, of course, and then what? Well, I should forget about it, because I forget almost everything, but if I don't, or if, you know, the next time

I see Cindy, I go, yeah, I remember what Cindy did, you know, that really bugged me, and she did ask my forgiveness, but, you know, kind of, you know, what else is she gonna do, kind of thing.

Have I forgiven her like God in Christ forgave me? No, because the psalmist says he forgives us as far as the

East is from the West, you know, that's how far he removes our sins from us.

We are to, as best as we can, put those things out of our mind and never bring them up again, so not rehearse them.

So if it even comes to my mind, I should just say to myself, Steve, stop thinking about that.

I like what one of the wives said, she said, after we've had a disagreement, my husband is usually the first to apologize, even if the fault is more mine.

Why do I like that? It's leadership, yes, it's

Christ -like, yes, right? It sets the bar in the home, and it, you know, especially, just even what the wife said here, she says, after we've had a disagreement, my husband is usually the first to apologize, even if the fault is more mine.

In other words, she knows that it's more hers, but he goes first.

I'm like, that's really good, right? That's how it should be. He should be like, forget about who's more at fault, you know, or he's going to sit there and go, yeah, this is more her fault.

I'm going to wait for her to go first. So it is godly, it is

Christ -exalting. It's a good example of humility. Now, I'm going to talk about something

I really don't know too much about, and you're like, what else is new? Okay, here's the question.

Ever wonder what women want in a husband? I don't even know why I wrote that question.

I mean, if I knew, I don't know, you know, I would tell young men, this is what they want.

Well, I do tell young men, so this is the list I came up with. What are some things that you think women want in their husbands?

What are they looking for? Security is good.

Provision is good. Agreed. I mean, you know, is there,

I don't think there's any woman ever who said, you know what, what I want most of all in my marriage is to not be safe.

What I want most of all is to wonder how we're going to make ends meet. I haven't heard that one yet.

Brian. They want attention. Okay. I mean, you know,

I have that on my list here. I mean, can you imagine a wife saying, you know what, thanks for marrying me, but, you know,

I'll just live my own life. Other thoughts? Answers?

Bill? Listener. Good. Okay, let's go over my list because, you know, that's why we're here.

Oh, she did. Couldn't see it. All right.

It was a humble hand raise. Okay, go ahead. Kindness.

Kindness is good. I don't know, did that make my list?

Oh, it did make, it did make my list. Man, I, whoo, I barely made that one.

Okay, good. Good for me. All right, let's start with one that nobody mentioned.

Godliness. One wife said this, he prioritizes

God. His faith is his own and he lives by his own conviction and has a drive and a zeal to know

God more. And if I could just say this, this is,

I think, one of the main faults in the

American church is most couples, that the wife is a spiritual leader.

So when you see something like this, he prioritizes God. This is good. This is right. I mean, one of the things that, you know,

Pastor Mike and the other leaders here at the church often talk about is the fact that we have so many men who are engaged, who serve, who teach, you know,

I, I'm encouraged. This is kind of a funny thing and I'm not bragging on the dudes, but it's good to me when we have a prayer meeting and there's more guys here than girls.

This is good because that's not what you see at a typical church. Here's another wife says, my husband has a thankful heart, which is evident when he leads me and his family in prayer and in how he faces both enjoyable and challenging events and people.

This also both encourages and convicts me to be thankful. He makes me feel appreciated and shows even the small household tasks such as doing laundry or making a meal are noticed.

So, I mean, that was a broad godly thing there.

So, that's one I had. How about this one? Loyalty. I've had women share that the one thing that bothers them the most about their significant other is the way they look at other women.

Think that bothers your wife when she sees it? Oh, yeah. Think she wants to smack you in the back of the head?

Probably. This woman says, no matter what he's struggling with,

I never have to question his commitment to us. He has consistently reiterated and shown that he would do anything for our family.

And that's another level of loyalty, right? To show that no matter what, I mean, you know, we talked about support and provision.

Sometimes loyalty, recognizing that you have a wife and a family just means, well,

I don't like my job, but I have a wife to provide for.

I have kids and I'm going to stay in my job no matter what because that's what

I'm supposed to do. Loyalty. Not divided.

A one -woman -man, we could say it that way. And again, similar.

Faithful. This wife says, in faithfulness, my husband is resolved to have eyes, body, and mind reserved only for me.

That's the way it's supposed to be. Okay.

Supportive. One wife says, simple.

I was in the ER for hours on end one night with my grandfather, kind of going out of my mind. Out of nowhere, my husband walked in with a

Diet Coke for me. I was so happy to see him. I didn't even tell him I don't like Diet Coke. No, no.

I made that part up. I was so happy to see him and the Diet Coke, I almost cried.

Isn't that sweet? I mean, sometimes it's just the small things. Someone, I think

Brian mentioned this, attentiveness. My husband is attentive to me.

This is a way of life, so it services in many ways, but here are some examples. If I share that I have a headache, he rubs my head and remembers later in the day to ask if my head is feeling better.

If I've made growth in any area more consistent with disciplining the children, other goals she might have, being more organized in the household, etc.,

he encourages me and tells me that he's noticed my efforts. This attention to me shows me that I am important to him and that I am on his mind.

If I'm troubled about something, he usually notices that something is off with me before I share that I'm bothered and asked me about it when it would be admittedly much easier not to give the effort to seek me out.

There are so many ways that we can show attention to our wives, and a lot of times it's in the details.

It's actually, as someone else said, listening to them, paying attention to what they're saying, and what does that mean a lot of times?

It means some kind of follow -up, right? She had a headache, so I asked her later on the day, how are you feeling?

By the way, none of these quotes that I read, in case you're wondering, are from my wife. She didn't write any of those things.

I guess there might be a reason for that, but just the follow -up, the paying attention to detail, and the fact that she is growing and improving in areas where maybe she said, you know what,

I need to do a better job in this, or would you hold me accountable for that, etc. These are good things to encourage our wives in.

I mean, true or false, and I think this is true for most jobs, do you get an evaluation every year?

I mean, you know what I used to call those things? I remember the very first one I got when

I was on patrol. It's where I came up with this phrase, they're not evaluations, they're devaluations.

I got my first one, and I was reading this thing, and I thought, I don't know who this is that they're talking about, but it's not me, and I developed this habit early on where,

I mean, sometimes it was fine later on in my career, but I just took that first evaluation, and I threw it in my locker, and a couple days later,

I pulled it out, and I read it, and I go, it still bugs me, so I went and talked to the sergeant, and I said, you know what, sergeant,

I don't think this is right, and he goes, well, and this is a long time ago before computers were cool, and he came in the next day, and he said, you know, what

I've done here is I've replicated, I've changed everybody's names, but everybody who had the same schedule as you, and I've shown where you stand with everybody else, and he goes,

I think he gave me some original name like Deputy C, so I looked, and in every category that they rated,

I was number one, except for in parking tickets where I was number two, and I said, you know, serge, this whole thing about, you know,

Steve does just enough to get by, what do you think about that? He goes, I'm gonna take that out. Now, did he change it to say something like,

Steve does a great job, or he's number one and everything? No, so thus the devaluation.

In fact, you know, just to close the loop on that, later on in my career, I had a sergeant who said,

Steve, why don't you write your own evaluation? And so I did, and I was like brutally honest, and he gives it back to me, and he goes, he goes, you're way too hard on yourself, and he goes,

I wrote it, and he goes, instead of what you gave yourself, he goes, I gave you an outstanding, and I'm like, oh, gee whiz.

Now, should you give your wife a written evaluation? No, that's not the point. That would be a really bad way to start a fight, but it's good to encourage them.

I mean, think, talk about a job that can be absolutely thankless, because what recognition is there? There's nobody writing an evaluation.

There's no, like, Christmas bonus for being a good mom and a good wife, right? Congratulations, you know,

I've noticed you're doing a great job. Here's $5 ,000. That ever happen to one of the wives here?

Congratulations, here's your $5 ,000 Christmas bonus. $500? $50?

Here's your bonus. It's a turkey. What was that?

Yeah, oh, ow. Shots fired. Becky.

I need a timeout. Okay, moving on. What else do wives want?

How about honesty? I like this. He has become more transparent and has allowed himself to be vulnerable about many of the challenges he faces as a man.

My love and respect for him has grown even deeper as a result. I don't know who this guy is, because I eradicated all the names, but I have great admiration for him.

I don't like to be vulnerable or talk about any of the challenges I face, so good job.

It's good, right? I mean, it's okay to be transparent.

Selflessness. Wives want selflessness. He prioritizes our kids.

He has purposefully made time for them their whole lives. He very much cares about his relationship with them, and from the time they were born, he has woven

God into most conversations. In fact, they make fun of him saying, quote, I know, dad.

Spiritual parallel dot, dot, dot. He shares in child care responsibilities, whether that's changing diapers or driving kids to activities.

He doesn't wait to be asked. He volunteers to do it, and if I'm sick or otherwise unavailable, I don't have to worry about what the family will eat or if they'll have clean clothes.

He will take care of it without needing to ask me what to do. I'm impressed.

I mean, I think most men of my age and maybe other ages, you know, the dads were what?

What did you do? You know what? Hands off, right?

Yeah, the breadwinner. That was just how they showed their love, and if I, you know, I've said to people, if I were to, like, some people have dads who, like, spit out all this wisdom and stuff like that, if I were to say, you know, what did

I learn from my dad? Well, I learned work hard, keep your left up.

What? Money doesn't grow on trees, although I didn't really learn that from dad because it seemed like money did grow on trees.

I mean, it's just kind of a different thing, and I think sometimes we use our parents as an excuse, as a crutch to do the wrong thing.

Instead, and we already know this, I mean, most of us should know this, you know, whatever your parents didn't do, generally speaking, you try to do.

I mean, what's the goal as parents anyway? This isn't a parenting class. This is absolutely free, but what is your goal as a parent?

You ever think about that? What do I want? I mean, basically, if I could boil it down to two things, what do

I want for my kids? Okay, I want them to be godly, functioning adults.

I would put it this way. I want them to be saved, okay? My second goal, and I don't even know if my dad could really articulate this.

I think this would probably be true, but isn't it true that you want your kids to have a better life than you do?

Isn't that true? I mean, I think that's true of good parents, right, who are thinking rightly.

I mean, there are plenty of parents who don't have that, and their kids' lives are usually a disaster because of it.

But that's what we want. We want to learn from our parents' mistakes, not repeat them, and give them a better life, right?

So when I see this kind of thing, this is exactly right. The dad's being involved, teaching their kids.

This is good and right, something that a lot of us didn't have. And then the dad being involved in the actual raising the kids, whether it's changing diapers, whether it's cooking when mom's not available for whatever reason, these are all good things.

Selflessness, not saying, you know, something like, that's beneath me or I can't be involved in that.

A good listener, that was also mentioned. He listens to me.

Actually listening to what I'm saying. Now, this is just a, you know, revolutionary concept because I just like the way she phrases it.

Actually listening to what I'm saying. I mean, I get called on that sometimes. You know,

Janet, she doesn't really change the subject to see if I'm listening, but sometimes, you know, are you listening to me?

And I'd better be able to, you know, like approximate what she's saying or just be honest and say no, you know.

She goes on to say, asking questions. Sure, this sometimes gets heated and has at times lasted for hours.

I probably should have edited that out. But in the end, being totally understood is very important to me.

Sometimes it is an arduous process, but that he is willing to be a part of the process is probably one of the things

I think helps us to have a good marriage. I'm tired reading that.

But is it good to listen to your wife? And the answer is yes, right? I mean, how much time?

Yeah, this is probably too much, you know, confession here. How much time do I spend talking to myself a lot?

And you're probably like, that's weird, but that's welcome to my world. I don't need to talk to me as much as I need to talk to my wife to hear what she's saying.

A lot of times my conversations with me aren't very interesting anyway.

So listening, paying attention, asking follow -up questions.

Husband or wives also want their husbands to be humble, humble, admitting his own faults so that I don't feel like I'm married to a perfect man where I'm always wrong.

Sometimes that takes a while to see, or it takes a while, but I very much admire it.

Do you admit your own faults? It goes along with confession, but sometimes, you know, it's just like acknowledging areas where we're weak.

And I think sometimes we have an issue with that. Other thoughts or comments? Seeing, oh, seeing none.

Kind. My husband grew up in a culture where teasing was common.

If you weren't getting teased and picked on, nobody liked you. So to him, it was a sign of love to pick on and tease.

She says, I learned to be thick -skinned, but never liked being picked on or teased growing up. After we were married, he used to tease me like a kid from the neighborhood with a bit of bite.

I didn't like it at all. After several instances of this,

I let him know that my brothers teased me quite a bit. I told him kindly that I didn't marry one of my brothers.

He had an aha moment, and now any teasing that happens is done with softness and lightheartedness.

That is a kind sort of teasing. I mean, there are things that we say when we're around guys, things that we,

I mean, it's almost like walking up, right, and socking each other on the shoulder. We just kind of do that sort of thing.

I do it less now because I don't want to get socked in the shoulder. But our wives, again, as we said before, are not like us.

They're not tough. They're not supposed to be tough. We don't want to toughen them up. I mean, why would you want to turn your wife into, you know, somebody who's really tough and can dish it out as well as she can take it?

No thanks. I mean, the goal of our marriage shouldn't be to turn our wife into a man.

What else do wives want in their husbands? I just sort of added one that has nothing to do with the

Bible. Funny. Do wives like a sense of humor?

Within boundaries, right? This wife says he has a wicked sense of humor.

He has shown me how to laugh more and encouraged me not to not to take everything so seriously.

Is that good? Is it good to laugh? I hope so.

I mean, I lied to my wife when I first met her. True confession time. I told her

I was funny. I compared myself to some famous comedians and said, those guys, losers.

You know, it's like the old Steve Martin thing where he says, you know, he's talking about what a great philosopher he is.

You know, Plato, he knew more than Plato.

I'm like, oh yeah, brilliant. It's good to not take, well, especially not to take yourself seriously.

You know, here's the big thing, and this kind of ties in with the other ones. If you think about it this way, is it okay to be self -deprecating?

In other words, to put yourself down once in a while? Sure. Is it okay to put your wife down? Probably not.

It's probably not a good move, fellas. Just a pro tip. You know, depending on how much you like the couch.

I wanted to just kind of briefly go through these. These are things that Pastor Mike has been handing out, and I thought they were helpful just to help us focus on ways to appreciate our wives.

And he says, you know, I mean, and I think this is smart. Says, complete this list one day at a time for the next five weeks.

How many of you have seen this? Some of you? None? Okay. Thought number one, day number one,

I am genuinely fond of my wife. Task, list one characteristic you find endearing or lovable.

Now, that's not very much. What does Mike do when he does it? How many of you have been to a wedding that Pastor Mike has done?

And he says, you know, name, what, three or four things, whatever it is, you know, three things that you find attractive about your fiance.

And, you know, the guys are always like, oh, she's godly. She loves to serve people. You know, she walks on water.

Then talk to them after they've been married three years and give them this. I'm genuinely fond of my wife.

List one characteristic you find endearing or lovable. And they're like, I can't do it.

Well, why is that? It's because you've not been thinking to yourself what a blessing she is.

Because somewhere in that first couple of years, you just kind of turned that off. Then thought number two,

I can easily speak of the good times in our marriage. Pick one good time and write a sentence about it. These are things that ought to be easy.

Day three, I can easily remember romantic special times in our marriage. Now, for different people, that might be different.

But he says, pick one such time and think about it. Thoughts, I am physically attracted to my wife.

Think of one physical attribute you like. Number five, my wife has specific qualities that make me proud.

Write down one character. I mean, these are all just basic things to just kind of remind you.

And I'm telling you, for guys, this is just like essential to do this sort of thing.

Week two, I feel a genuine sense of we as opposed to I in this marriage. We have the same general beliefs and values.

Describe one belief you both share. Now, anybody ought to be able to get that one right. Wednesday of the second week, we have common goals.

List one such goal. Thought for day four, my spouse is my best friend.

If not, why not? Then the task there, what secret about you does your spouse know?

Does your wife know? I don't know.

That'd be a hard one for me. I mean, I'm sure she has. She knows a lot of things that other people don't know. I just don't think about it that way.

How about this one? Third week, I can easily recall the first time we met. Describe that first meeting on paper.

I remember that. I remember both the first time I saw her and the first time we met.

The first time I saw her, I was just waving cars through the gate in Okinawa, Japan.

And there she was, and I thought, I want to talk to her. The first time I met her, and you guys, some of you know this.

She ran in terror. That's true.

I don't know why you're laughing. It'd be like I was an axe murderer.

Get me out of here. I can recall our wedding and honeymoon.

I can. Yeah, these are,

I mean, just think about things like this. My home is a place to come and get support and reduce stress.

List a time when your spouse helped you reduce stress. And you know, for some people that I talk to, their home isn't a place where they get support and where stress is reduced.

Why would that be? Why would it be that you don't have proper support from your wife,

Becky? Okay, maybe you're married to an unbeliever.

Suppose you're married to a believer. Why would your believing wife not be supportive and relieving your stress?

Because you haven't been kind, because you haven't been forgiving, because you've been putting her down, because you haven't properly cultivated your relationship, right?

You haven't given her any reason to be supportive. You haven't given her any reason to reduce your stress.

And in fact, when you walk in to the home, she's locked and loaded and ready to go after you.

Why is that? You've given her the ammunition.

You've not done the right things. You've not led properly. And you know, so what does that all mean?

Well, it means, you know, and what would I say to anybody who says, you know what, my marriage is a wreck. You know,

I come in every day and, you know, it's just like, I have to put on my

Kevlar vest because things are going to be rough and everything. And that's what I say. I'll get to you in a second.

I say, repent. What do you mean? She's the one coming after me. Okay. Just say,

I have neglected you. I've not done right by you. I want to make things right.

And how about we go out to dinner Friday night? And I just want to focus on you. You have to, you have to, sometimes you just have to reboot things and you have to start over and you have to think

I've blown it, but there's a way back. There's always a way back. She liked something about you enough to marry you.

That's really a good point. That is a good point. I mean, a lot of times the stress for a guy comes from his work and maybe the wife can't help because she doesn't know what's going on at work.

And I don't know what it's like for a lot of guys, but I mean, I tried to just not bring a lot of that home.

So I can certainly relate to that. And I think that's good. You know, a lot of, a lot of jobs have quotas and that kind of thing.

You know, I mean, we certainly had to write a certain number of tickets. Okay. That's, that's not true. I mean, that was one of my favorite lines.

People say, well, I know you have a quota to make and I go, that's right. And if I don't get the toaster oven this month, my wife's really not going to be happy.

No, I think that's true. A lot of times it has to do with, you know, being transparent enough to just kind of, and even if you don't want to go through all the details, because sometimes it's just, you know,

I mean so many, it's just easier for me to fall back on what I know. So many things would happen during the course of a shift sometimes, you know, everything from maybe taking somebody to jail and a death notification and you know, this, that, and the other thing and all, all, all sorts of things.

And how do you just kind of, you know, here's my, here's my patrol log. If you want to know what

I did today, I, so sometimes it's just being able to talk about certain aspects of the job and, and relating the, the pressure that you're under, you know, so that she can at least relate to it in some way.

She doesn't need to know about, I mean, you know, it's, I do this and I'm sure other husbands do this.

They talk about people that they work with and your wife has no idea and she'll get to know some people, but you know, she can't know everybody.

And you know, she'll get to know some people mentally and she'll have a picture and then she'll probably meet the people and go, man, you are nothing like what my husband said.

No, hopefully she'll be more diplomatic than that. Let, let me just close here.

And cause this is really good. This is the last note here. Thoughts.

We have come a long way together. Task. Think of all you have accomplished as a team.

The more time goes on, the more true that is. You know, when you can look back 20, 25, 30, 35, 40 years and see all that has happened, all that has transpired because of the two of you being together, because of the wife that God has given you, the kids, the work, all these things, knowing that you never could have done it without your wife.

This is a great thing. And this is a good thing for us to rehearse. All these things are good to just think about, to focus on and do them regularly.

Why? So that we really are devoted to our wives so that we're really thinking rightly about our wives.

And so that we really come to treasure and to love them as we're commanded to.

All right. We need to close. Father, thank you for these past few weeks where we've been able to talk about husbands loving their wives.

Help us, Lord, by your spirit. To be the men that we ought to be.

To love our wives in a way that reflects well on Christ, that reflects well on the love that he has for the church.

We'll never hit perfection, but Lord, let us never be satisfied.

Let us always be striving to improve, to be better, knowing that the glory of Christ, not, yes, our wives deserve it, but the glory of Christ demands it.

Help us to grow daily in love and appreciation for our wives.

And Father, for those who don't have wives yet, I pray that you would form them into the men who would be fantastic husbands, godly husbands, those who would really cherish their wives and get the very best out of them while giving them their very best.