If Denominations Did Martial Arts

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In our ongoing series of The Denominational Meetings, this time they all bring the martial arts style that perfectly embodies their particular beliefs.

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00:01
I do karate because it's the most popular of all the martial arts and the people who practice it don't even care that other legitimate arts even exist.
00:10
I do Taekwondo. It's like karate but a lot flashier. We bounce around a lot and we shout.
00:17
And if you hang around long enough you're probably gonna hear some words you've never heard before. Cheer up! Kung Nu.
00:26
I practice Tai Chi because it's the only martial art that doesn't require any violence and no one ever gets hurt.
00:35
Superior theology requires a superior martial art so I practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Getting a blue belt in BJJ is better than getting a black belt in anything else.
00:45
I like things that are alone. Grace alone. Faith alone. Scripture alone. So I do boxing because boxing just uses my hands.
00:54
Sola Fistas. Come at me and you gonna catch these hands alone. I practice
01:00
Krav Maga. A fighting system that comes out of Israel and you know we support anything that's connected to Israel.
01:07
I like professional wrestling. I know it's not a martial art but I like anything where the outcome is determined from the very beginning.
01:17
I like Kung Fu because I believe it's the original martial art and everything else just split off from it.
01:24
I practice Sistema. Not too many people in West know much about Sistema. It is mysterious.
01:29
The techniques are confusing and sometimes enigmatic but that is the way we like it. I like MMA because it blends everything together.
01:38
It's really popular with young people and it doesn't have a lot of traditions. It's not a style but it's all about style just like me.
01:45
If you love Jesus you're gonna do MMA. I don't know why I need to bounce around in pajamas but I could just have me one of these.