If Denominations Did Martial Arts

The Most Popular Martial Art and Flashy Alternatives

I do karate because it's the most popular of all the martial arts and the people who practice it don't even care that other legitimate arts even exist. I do taekwondo. It's like karate but a lot flashier.

We bounce around a lot and we shout. And if you hang around long enough, you're probably gonna hear some.

Words.

You've never heard before. Cheer up! Kung Nu. I practice Tai Chi because it's the only martial art that doesn't require any.

Violence.

Superior Theology and the Appeal of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

And no one ever gets hurt. Superior theology requires a superior martial art so I practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Getting a blue belt in BJJ is better than getting a black belt in anything else. I like things that are.

Alone.

Grace alone. Faith alone. Scripture alone. So I do boxing because boxing just uses my hands. Sola Fistas. Come at me and you gon' catch these hands alone. I practice Krav Maga. A fighting system that comes out of Israel and you know we support anything that's connected to Israel.

Wrestling, Kung Fu, Sistema, and MMA as Style

I like professional wrestling. I know it's not a martial art but I like anything where the outcome is determined from the very beginning. I like Kung Fu because I believe it's the original martial art and everything else just split off from it.

I practice Sistema. Not too many people in West know much about Sistema. It is mysterious. The techniques are confusing and sometimes enigmatic but that is the way we like it. I like MMA because it blends everything together.

It's really popular with young people and it doesn't have a lot of traditions. It's not a style but it's all about style just like me. If you love Jesus you're gonna do MMA.

I don't know why I need to bounce around in pajamas but I could just have me one of these.