I Dare You Not To Laugh (Part 1)

Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ, based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the

Apostle Paul said, But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.

In short, if you like smooth, watered -down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn't for you.

By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we're called by the divine trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her

King. Here's our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth. Welcome to No Compromise Radio ministry.

I don't know why I say that every single time. My name's Mike Abendroth. And then I grab this,

I don't know, is it a spit protector or is it a diphthong protector? In case you have a diphthong and it comes out poorly on the radio.

My name's Mike Abendroth. This is No Compromise Radio. And I thought I'd put on an old shirt.

It's a little bit tight, but it's the old NoCo shirt, the original 10 years ago NoCo shirt with,

I think that's supposed to be blood or ketchup or something like that. Anyway, I have my sermon done for this week, have my other projects done.

Just need to review them a little bit. And I thought I'd come into the church today and clean up a little bit. And I was cleaning my files, there's a bunch of books that I'm getting rid of.

And I don't have a file cabinet per se, but I have a bunch of stuff that I've just kind of kept throughout the years. And I thought this would be a good time to kind of go through it.

Now, when I first got here 23 years ago, I found it fascinating, not here at the station, but here at the church.

I found it fascinating that there's all kinds of marketing stuff sent to churches. Now, you might imagine

VBS would be something very popular, Vacation Bible School. Will they have those this year? It'll be called

Social Distancing Bible School, S -D -B -S. And then we'll have,

I don't know, business cards, directory. Remember when directories were big back in the day?

Who did those directories? Some, you know, famous place. Anyway, this is the one little card

I got. It's looking on the back here is not what I have the brain and heart, but it was this.

See that lady there with the fire? I'm just going to show you that, and then I'm going to have to turn it around to read it.

But this was the funniest thing ever. There's fire coming out of that Bible. And I thought, well, that is just great.

It's called the New Fire Bible. You know, they have different translations, the

New Legacy Bible, the ESV, the NRS, the Holman Standard, Christian Standard, now it's called.

This is the NFB, the New Fire Bible. See that? $39 .95.

Ignites at the touch of a button. All eyes will be on you when you open this Bible and begin to read a

Bible story or scripture for the day. It may look like a real Bible, but just open it, push the red button, and it will electronically ignite.

Everyone will want you to read the fire Bible again and again.

Just what you need for the hot topics you teach, guaranteed to be memorable.

And then in fine print, this item should be only handled by adults, two AAA batteries and lighter fluid not included.

I mean, when the Bible is not powerful enough, you have to go for the gimmicks. And so that's my first lesson, dear class today.

When it comes to gimmicks, as gimmicks go up in a local church to get people in, to keep people in, to keep people occupied while they're in, as gimmicks go up, the leader's trust in the sufficiency of scripture goes down.

Those things are inverse. Those things both can't be true. You can't have a high view of God's word and its sufficiency and then do a bunch of gimmicks because the gimmicks will betray what you really believe.

And therefore, when you have all the gimmicks, right? Think about the simplicity, the simplicity, yes, the simple nature of Christianity when it comes to even things that we would see or touch or taste or smell or anything like that.

You have bread and you have wine or juice and you have water and you have paper, right? The Bible, very, very simple.

I was thinking about Isaiah chapter 55 and it says, so my word will be that goes out from my mouth.

It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose and shall succeed in the thing for which

I sent it. And so we can just be men and women of the word. And if you're teaching Bible studies, you're teaching a family worship, you're doing a

Sunday school, you're teaching from the pulpit, or you're even listening to those things. It's very simple.

We just preach the word and let God do his work. But this would be an unforgettable lesson with the fire

Bible. Okay. What else do I have here? There's a list here today, top 10 indications that you've been watching too much

Christian television, Christian in quotation marks. Remember Christian is a noun, but now it's turned into an adjective and everything.

I guess sometimes we could even turn it into an adverb, right? Christianly. Make sure you read that Old Testament Christianly.

Top 10 indications you've been watching too much Christian television. And this is dated.

I think this is probably about, oh, I don't know, 30 years old. And so I won't read every one because some are so dated.

Number nine, you think Hal Lindsay wrote the book of Revelation when I first became a

Christian. I had no idea that there was a bunch of people who didn't teach things properly.

And Christian radio at the time didn't really help because they were selling slots. And it wasn't that they had a lot of word faith people on the stations

I listened to in the late eighties. But there wasn't a lot of rhyme or reason, right?

You could have everybody from, let's see who was the lineup, Calvary Chapel, John MacArthur, Focus on the

Family, Chuck Swindoll, Charles Stanley, Lloyd Ogilvie, Bible Answer Man with Walter Martin to start, then

Hank Hanegraaff, then a Minerth Meyer Clinic, and then some other psychological things.

And then, you know, Hal Lindsay or whatever. I don't know. I mean, Bob Larson. Remember Bob Larson? Give me a heart if you like Bob Larson.

I send money to Bob Larson. I remember one time I called and said, you know, you've got these things going on.

This is before all the exorcism stuff was happening, allegedly. And I'll help you be, you know, feet on the street because you're in Colorado or whatever and we'll help with ministry things here in LA.

Nah, that's okay. Just, I think they just wanted the money. Another indication you've been watching too much

Christian television. You name your two pet lovebirds,

Jack and Rexella. Now, see, if you don't know the Van Impes, you wouldn't know that. I have a

Van Impe study Bible, by the way, a Van Impe prophecy study Bible. So there you have it.

Another indication, you love Benny Hinn, but thinks that he lacks the subtlety of Oral Roberts.

And here's the punchline, number one. The number one indication you've been watching too much Christian television.

The idea of a holy, sovereign, yet loving God sending his only son to die for a lost and dying world never crosses your mind.

All right. What else do I have here? I have an old article called,

Are You Sure You Like Spurgeon? But before I read that, I have something from an insurance company,

First Mid -America, Lincoln and Nebraska. And here's what the insurance company sent out to its clientele.

It is a gloomy moment in the history of our country. Not in the lifetime of most men has there been so much grave and deep apprehension.

Never has the future seemed so incalculable at this time. The domestic economic situation is in chaos.

Our dollar is weak throughout the world. Prices are so high as to be utterly impossible.

The political cauldron seethes and bubbles with uncertainty. Russia hangs as usual, like a cloud, dark and silent upon the horizon.

It is a solemn moment. Of our troubles, no man can see the end." And so the president of First Mid -America

Insurance Company, at the beginning of the year in 1974, sent this out.

And what I just read to you was from Harper's Weekly, October, 1857.

Gloom and doom, trouble. Some things never change. We do know that the

Bible makes it very clear to describe to us what the last days will be like.

A neighbor walked by the other day, and of course now everybody's engaging with neighborhoodly conversations. And this man knows

I'm a reverend, high holy father. And he said, I think we're in the last days. I said,

I think so too. Because of course the last days are between the first coming and the second coming, right after Jesus ascended to now.

But understand this, that in the last days, there will come times of difficulty. That's 2 Timothy 3.

And the difficulty really isn't so much what's going on, but the people. According to Paul here, when he writes this to Timothy.

For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self -control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness but denying its power.

Avoid such people. Fascinating. If you ever want to be challenged, especially with some doctrines that are difficult to grasp, grab, grab your mind around, that would be wrong, grasp, grab your mind, get your mind wrapped around them.

Type in, are you sure you like Spurgeon, Alan Maben, M -A -B -E -N, are you sure you like Spurgeon?

And it's funny because most Christians like Spurgeon, and you could be a free will Baptist, you could be a

Methodist, you could be a Presbyterian, you could be Arminian, semi -Pelagian, you could be Calvinistic, you could be

Augustinian, and like Spurgeon.

Until you read some of these things, are you sure you like Spurgeon? Let me just give you a couple.

When you say, can God make me become a Christian? I tell you, yes, for herein rests the power of the gospel.

It does not ask for your consent, but it gets it. It does not say, will you have it? But it makes you willing in the day of God's power.

The gospel wants not your consent, it gets it. It knocks the enmity out of your heart. You say,

I do not want to be saved. Christ says, you shall be. He makes your will turn around, and then you cry,

Lord, save, or I perish. And you say, well, that was not too bad. All right, let me give you another one.

Spurgeon, I do not hesitate to say that next to the doctrine of the crucifixion and the resurrection of our blessed

Lord, no doctrine had such prominence, that is, unconditional election, in the early

Christian church as the doctrine of the election of grace. I do not like divine election, saith one.

Well, I thought you would not, whoever dreamed you would. And how about Jesus dying for the whole world, each and every person,

Samson, Judas, Hitler, Saul, Jezebel, or dying for his bride only?

Spurgeon, if it was Christ's intention to save all men, how deplorably has he been disappointed?

For we have his own testimony that there is a lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, and into that pit of woe has been cast some of the very persons who, according to the theory of universal redemption, were bought with his blood.

He has punished Christ. Why should he punish twice for one offense?

That's good. You say, well, what are some other ones?

Those aren't so bad. Okay. This may seem to you to be of little consequence, but it really is a matter of life and death.

I would plead with every Christian. Think it over, my dear brother. When some of us preach Calvinism and some

Arminianism, we cannot both be right. It is of not use trying to think we can be.

Yes and no cannot both be true. Truth does not vacillate like the pendulum which shakes backwards and forwards.

One must be right, the other wrong. Spurgeon, I believe that very much of current

Arminianism is simply ignorance of gospel doctrine. I do not serve the

God of the Arminians at all. I will have nothing to do with him. And I do not bow before the Baal they have set up.

He is not my God, nor shall he ever be. I fear him not, nor tremble at his presence. The God that saith today and denieth tomorrow, that justify today and condemns the next, is no relation to my

God in the least degree. He may be a relation to Astaroth or Baal, but Jehovah never was or can be his name.

Told you. Are you sure you like Spurgeon? There is no such thing as preaching

Christ and him crucified unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it

Calvinism. Calvinism is the gospel and nothing less. I do not believe we can preach the gospel if we do not preach justification by faith without works, nor unless we preach the sovereignty of God in his dispensation of grace, nor unless we exalt the electing, unchangeable, eternal, immutable, conquering love of Jehovah.

Nor do I think we can preach the gospel unless we base it upon the special and particular redemption of his elect and chosen people, which

Christ wrought out upon the cross. Nor can I comprehend a gospel which lets saints fall away after they're called and suffers the children of God to be burned in the fires of damnation after having once believed in Jesus.

Such a gospel I abhor. Are you sure you like Spurgeon?

As long as the ninth chapter of Romans remains in the Bible, no man shall be able to prove Arminianism.

So long as that is written there, not the most violent contortions of the passage will ever be able to exterminate the doctrine of election from the scriptures.

All right. Mike Abendroth, No Compromise Radio. Are you sure you like Spurgeon? What else do

I have here? You know, it's interesting with the catalogs from Christian book distributors,

CBD and Peabody Mass. It looks like Peabody, Sherman Peabody, but it's

Peabody. And I don't know how they make any money these days since not just COVID, but of course, everything else with buying books and online and getting them cheaper, et cetera,

Amazon. But they do sell a lot of Christian swag. You know, like I've got here, you can buy faith and love and hope.

And I don't mind if you have those around the house. That's fine. Of course, you can do whatever you want. You can get candles with, you know, let your light shine on top, decorative wooden top gift candles.

They're only four bucks back in the day. You can get key chains. You can get golden rule bookmarks with Bible marking guides.

You can get marker ribbons. But the one that I don't like, I particularly grinds grates makes me kind of not,

I don't like it. Like the one where it's got Hebrews. I don't like that one at all.

And what's the other one? Pray a latte. First Thessalonians 517, pray a latte.

That's dumb. If you've got that kind of stuff. Coffee second, God first. All I need is faith and a strong cup of coffee.

Come on. Oh man. All right. What else do

I have? Today's just potpourri. Today's just, I'm sitting here just trying to keep your mind. I don't know, away from your troubles.

What we do at the Avondale Friday night's a big night. I've got my two girls from California in town, the college students, my wife and my older daughter who works at a sister living place.

So she's still working. She's kind of have a little marker here for her face mask that she has to wear every day.

Protective equipment. And anyway, Friday night's theme night. And so we did

Mexican food two Fridays ago. And we did

Hawaiian last Friday. And I don't know what we're going to do for tonight, but it should be fun. Got to run a couple errands and get some stuff for our

Friday night theme night. And if my knee wasn't so bad, right? This is 90 days out from surgery.

I can't twist or turn. We probably dance according to that night. So it'd be Hawaiian dance. And then there would be the

Mexican dance. Most of the dances that I can do all right in terms of ballroom dances, they don't have the hip movements.

Any kind of salsa, merengue, rumba, rumba. I can't do, don't have the hips.

They don't work. Standard things like waltz and tango, whiskey foxtrot, swing.

I can do those. I know I can't do them very well. In my mind, it's pretty good. But anyway, any of the hip stuff can't do.

I do have in front of me here by Ed L. Weir and Doug Duncan. Something from a long time ago, actually 1998.

Top 10 bad sermon openers. So why does a pastor have an introduction for a sermon? Some pastors, it's simply, please open your

Bibles to 1 Corinthians 9. That's their sermon introduction. People can do whatever they want. What I try to do is, and I was taught this in seminary.

Some things I was taught in seminary, I don't think I believe anymore, but I think this has merit in its homiletics.

And that is you get somebody's attention and then you secure interest. So the getting attention is maybe with the thought -provoking question or something that's kind of jarring.

And then you relate that to the sermon passage. That's the securing interest. That is, this is why it's important for you to listen.

And here's the tie -in. Some preachers that I know, their introductions are way too long, right?

Their sermons are too long. I'm not talking about liberalism where the sermons are 20 minutes, 18 minutes.

I'm talking about in our circles of evangelicalism, verse -by -verse exposition. And whether that's a

Calvary Chapel, Armenian kind of church, or that's a high church. Here's a

CBD. Is it Christian CBD? Isn't CBD bad? Isn't there

THC now in CBD? Anyway, if there's too much

THC in the CBD, it sounds like Peabody. But anyway, most sermons are too long.

And I think pastors could cut a lot of their introductions down and their sermons would not be as long.

Plus, I hate these long stories. Most pastors aren't good narrative drama tellers and storytellers.

And so they got this long story to start the sermon. Really? Five minutes, 10 minute sermon intros with some story.

I don't think that's appropriate unless it's something about Elijah from the Old Testament. But anyway,

I've got top 10 bad sermon openers. We call it, by the way, in preaching kind of lab and classes when

I'm teaching the men here and then other places, TTT, time to text. What's the time to text?

When you start, get going. You got about 90 seconds to say, open your Bibles, please. Of course, if you've been preaching for a long time and I really,

I have no authority over you, you can do whatever you want as a pastor, but try to get to the text quickly, just generally.

Sometimes I might have a little deviation and I'll tell them why I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. But especially when you're younger in preaching, you don't preach a lot.

Time to text, get there quickly. Top 10 bad sermon openers. I feel the

Lord is leading us to begin with an extended time of fasting and mortification of the flesh. Here's another bad sermon opener.

Turn if you would to the book of Tobit, verse two, chapter four. I disagree with this one, but I'm gonna read it.

The subject of hell is not a popular one. What was the last sermon you heard on hell?

The theologian of hell, Jesus, talked about it a lot. I do not advise lay people to try to duplicate what

I'm about to do. Kind of funny. The book of Revelation is almost impossible to understand.

We have no record in the New Testament that Jesus ever laughed. That's the sermon opener.

And this, by the way, gives you some special instructions because you need to use your hands and stuff like that and use your body to echo what you're gonna say.

Here's the last bad sermon opener, which is to be performed with eyes closed, one hand held above head and pronounced with chant -like quality.

I tried to pronounce it phonetically right. Anyway, if you're gonna teach the

Bible, be enthusiastic, be excited. Right, when I used to teach the children the

Bible, I would hold the Bible sometimes. They were little, right? And I would hold the Bible and daddy loves the Bible and I'm gonna teach you the

Bible. It's exciting to see what God is gonna do and just how great this God is. And I'd get really excited.

And once in a while, I would kiss the Bible. Oh, kiss it. Reminds me of that story that the man who loved to read the

Bible became blinded and could not read it. And so he began to use his fingers all the time for the

Braille Bible, learn Braille. And something happened to his fingers. They became so calloused, he couldn't read the

Bible. And I think this is in a Don Whitney book. The guy was from Kansas City. What was his name?

Summers or something like that. And so then he wanted to cut some of those calluses off and then cut them too far into the skin, cut the nerves off and could not use his fingers to read

Braille anymore because of the nerve damage. Well, as the story goes, he picked up the Braille Bible to kiss it goodbye and his lips could feel bumps on the cover.

And he realized I could do that with my lips reading the Bible in Braille. And he did,

I guess, once a year. Anyway, my name is Mike Abendroth, No Compromise Radio. A little bit of fun today in the middle of all this, but with some theological truths mixed in.

We still are planning to go to Israel. Who knows if we'll make it, but you can write me, Mike at NoCompromiseRadio .com

for the Israel information. I think we'll take about a few minute break and then we will be back soon.

Mike Abendroth, No Compromise Radio. No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life transforming power of God's word through verse by verse exposition of the sacred text.

Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 1015 and in the evening at six. We're right on route 110 in West Boylston.

You can check us out online at bbchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.