Put Your Husband Where Your Heart Is - [Ephesians 5:21-24,33]

Well, good evening, and it is a joy to be here. Let me just say a few words of introduction as I begin. As you can probably already tell, I'm not from your part of the country. I am from Atlanta, Georgia.

That is where I grew up along with my wife Charlotte. We have been married now almost 33 years, married on May the 27th, 1978. And God in His goodness has given us four sons. And we have since, in recent years, added three daughter-in-laws and six grandchildren, four and under, and three boys and three girls.

And so I am not only a husband and a dad but a granddaddy, and I'm really enjoying that. Everything I was told about that is true. They are much better than children. And one of the delightful things is you play with them and then you get to leave them and you go home.

And so that's been very good. But anyway, I grew up in Atlanta, went to school in Dallas for all of my schooling, then had the joy of being back at Southeastern in Wake Forest, North Carolina for four years, Louisville where I met your pastor for eight, and now back at Southeastern in Wake Forest for the last seven and a half years.

And so God has been extremely good to me and has given me a wonderful wife. And I will say to you as I begin tonight, outside of the Lord Jesus, whom I received as my Savior when I was about ten years old, nothing has brought greater blessing to me than my wife, my children, and my grandchildren.

I really do believe that one of God's great gifts is marriage and family. But there's something that troubles me greatly, and that is this. Many people are not experiencing the joy and the blessing that God intended when he said, it's not good that a man is alone.

And so I will make him a helper who will perfectly complement him. And unfortunately, even in the church, there are many people who are not experiencing the joy, the blessing, what God intended for their marriage and family life to be.

And so my goal during the three days that I'm with you is simply to go into the Bible, allow God, who is, by the way, the creator of marriage, the creator of family, the one who gave us the wonderful gift of sex.

It is God who gave us all of those things to be enjoyed in a relationship with another person. I want to simply allow God to inform us as to how it is that we can have the kind of marriage and family that he intended from the very beginning.

So if you would take your Bible and join me in the book of Ephesians, the fifth chapter. Ephesians chapter 5. While you're turning there, there was an article that I came across in our local paper just a couple of years ago that caught my attention.

It simply said, looking for happiness, get married, have kids. In the opening paragraph, the keys to happiness are simple. Grow up, not a bad idea, get married, have children, and go to church. And this article pointed out that if that is your lifestyle, the odds go way up that you will have a life that is fulfilling, that is a blessing, and that is meaningful.

I was also privy to another short article that I came across just a couple of years ago. It had a very fascinating statement. It simply said, and I quote, You should know you're in love, then you should know the Lord.

And that didn't seem all that profound until I read what was beneath that caption, which said this, Bill Troup, 97 years of age, on the secret to marital success, celebrating his 80th wedding anniversary.

So now the statement seems more profound, doesn't it? You should know you're in love, and you should know the Lord. A simple but very profound combination for experiencing what God wants us to enjoy. So tonight what we're going to do is we're going to walk through this passage of Scripture.

I'll just simply show you what is a biblical theological foundation for both the role of a godly wife and the role of a godly husband. In the process, I also believe in practical theology. In other words, I believe it's not only enough for us to understand very clearly what God has designed, but also then how do we live it out, how do we put it into practice.

And so I'll share some things tonight and in the morning that are of a practical nature. And along the way, we'll probably laugh a good bit and have some fun. I've discovered that strong medicine goes down best when we're laughing.

And when it comes to marriage, few things are in need of stronger medicine than that. I was talking to Eric on the way over here this afternoon, and I said, you know, nothing is more delightful for me than being married and having children.

But I'll tell you something, and he agreed, it's hard work. In fact, marriage is the hardest work I've ever done in my life. It requires energy. It requires investment. I don't care how much you love Jesus, in marriage you're going to have some tough days.

There's never been a time in my marriage where I did not love my wife, but there have been a number of days when I did not like her, especially when she wasn't acting like Jesus. I did not like her at all on those particular days.

And I think if she were here this evening, she would bear witness that there have been times in our marriage where she didn't like me very much either. And so all of us are going to have those kinds of days.

All of us are going to have those kinds of challenges. And so the issue is, what do you do when they come? Because they are going to come. And so God, under the love that he has for us, inspired the Apostle Paul to give us very clear instructions in a number of places in the Bible about what a good, healthy marriage looks like.

And so look with me there in Ephesians chapter 5. You see it beginning in verse 22, but actually we would be wiser to go back and at least pick up with verse 18. And so look at what the Bible says there beginning in Ephesians 5, 18.

And do not get drunk with wine, for this is debauchery. And the word debauchery means you indulge in something to the extent that it hurts or harms you. And so he says, don't get drunk with wine so that you hurt or harm yourself, but in contrast, be continually filled with the Spirit.

That word filled, by the way, is an imperative. It's a word of command. So God is not asking or suggesting, but he commands you and me, be filled with the Spirit. Secondly, it's in the present tense, which means this is to be the pattern or the habit of your life.

You need to be continually filled with the Spirit. It's sort of like drinking water. Drinking this morning will not suffice for this afternoon or tonight, and drinking water today will not suffice for tomorrow.

Day after day after day after day after day, you are to seek the filling of the Spirit. Now, before we move on ahead, you might say, well, Danny, is there a key to being filled with the Spirit? And I believe the answer is yes.

If I could give you a single word, I would say I think the key to being filled with the Spirit is the word submission. And that is submitting to the will and the ways of God. But I think there's an even greater insight for us to this, and that's found in Colossians chapter 3.

And for just a moment, turn over there. Colossians chapter 3 in verse 16. Actually, what you have is the parallel account. If you've studied Ephesians and Colossians, you know that they are sometimes referred to as sister epistles.

In fact, they are twin epistles. They're not identical, but they're twins. Because they talk basically about the same thing in the same order. And so you actually find the parallel to Ephesians 5, 18, and Colossians chapter 3 and verse 16, where the Bible says, Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.

That word dwell means to make itself at home. And so Paul is telling us that we are to allow the word of Christ to make itself home in us richly in all wisdom. In other words, to the degree that you and I allow the word of God, the word of Christ, to be at home in our lives, to that same degree will you experience the filling of the Spirit.

And so you cannot experience the filling of the Spirit apart from a baptism, if you like, into the word of Christ, the word of God. You've got to know the word. And then you submit to the word. And as you submit to the word, God then uses that act on your part to move you into the realm of being filled with the Holy Spirit.

Now, go back to Ephesians chapter 5 and look at what the Bible says happens when you are filled with the Spirit. He says there in verse 19, Personally, you'll address one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.

You will sing and make melody to the Lord with your heart. Furthermore, you will give thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Well, verse 19 and verse 20, that's fine.

It's not too difficult for me to come together with brothers and sisters and the Lord and to sing and make melody and to give thanks for everything. Well, I struggle with that, but I know I'm supposed to do it, so I will.

That's a very private, individual kind of a thing. But now verse 21, Submitting to one another out of reverence or respect for Christ. So God calls all members of the body of Christ to have an attitude, a disposition of submission, where I am seeking your good ahead of my own, where I'm yielding my rights to you for your betterment, for your edification, for your building up in the body of Christ.

Well, all right, that's still something that's not terribly difficult to do, but now Paul says, let's let the rubber meet the road. And let's move into that most difficult of all areas of life for the spirit-filled life to exhibit itself, and that is, let's move into your marriage.

And let's look at what a spirit-filled believer looks like in the relationship of marriage and family life. And so it begins, first of all, with the wife. Now, here's what we're going to see in our time together.

God basically gives a two-fold job description to each member of the family. First of all, he talks to wives, and we're going to see tonight, and he tells the wife, when you're filled with the spirit, number one, you will submit to your husband, and number two, you will respect your husband.

That's your two-fold job description. We will see later this evening that he says to a husband that you are to love your wife, and you are to know or understand your wife. That's your two-fold job description.

Later, we will see that God tells children in chapter 6 that they are to obey mom and dad, and they are to honor mom and dad. And that's their two-fold job description. And then finally, he will speak to parents, and specifically to fathers, and we're going to talk a lot to the men, especially in the morning.

And he says to fathers that you are to educate your children, and you are to be an encouragement to your children. And so there is the two-fold job description that the Lord gives each member of the family.

So tonight, we're going to begin with the ladies, and we're going to see that there's two things he calls a wife to do. She is to submit, and she is to respect. So look at verse 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands, and here's the key phrase, ladies, as to the Lord.

Well, Paul, what's the rationale for you calling me to submit or yield to my own husband as to the Lord? Verse 23. The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior.

Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Now, there's a mouthful there, so let's unwrap some of this first of all. Interestingly, the word submit does not occur in verse 22 in the original Greek text.

It's not there. You say, oh, so I maybe don't have to do that. Well, it's in verse 24 twice, so it's there. So, no, there's no loophole there. Furthermore, grammatically it is correct to bring the idea of submission over from verse 21.

That is correct Greek grammar. But, this is for the fun of it, take the word submit out of verse 22 and read it. Wives, to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Well, that doesn't make it any weaker. If anything, that strengthens the admonition.

And so the Bible says a godly, spirit-filled woman will relate in her marriage to her husband as to the Lord. In other words, when you submit to him, you're submitting to Christ and you're honoring Christ by your submission in that relationship.

And he helps you understand the rationale for it. There is an analogy that the Bible gives between Christ and the church and a husband and a wife. And so, as Christ is the head of the church, your husband is the head of your marital relationship.

And so, as the church submits to Christ, verse 24, so wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Now, that word submit, I know it's not a pleasant word. And if we're not careful, we can even draw a faulty conclusion about it which often happens out there in the secular culture and that is this, submission equals inferiority.

Submission equals inferiority. That's often what is said. Back in 1998, Southern Baptist added an article on the family to our Baptist Faith and Message Confession of Faith that in that particular article on the family, it said that a wife should submit graciously to her husband.

Well, the secular media went into apoplexy. They went nuts. And we got phone calls and we did interviews and we wrote articles and I had one particular person contact me and say, where in the world did you get the idea that a wife should submit to her husband?

And I simply said, from the Bible. It's in the Bible. Right here in Ephesians chapter 5. And so he came back and said, so you think that women are inferior to men? And I said, absolutely not. I said, I believe that women bear the image of God in exactly the same way that a man bears the image of God in terms of having it in its fullness and totality.

Men and women are equal image bearers of God. And so submission has nothing to do with you in your essence. Submission has to do with your assignment, with your function. And to help you really get this idea of inferiority out of your mind, let me give you a good theological exam very quickly.

I assume that Brother Mike, being the faithful exposer and theologian that he is, has taught you correctly, but we're about to find out. We have lots of visitors. You got what? We have lots of visitors.

Lots of visitors. Well, that's all right. We will hope that they too have been schooled correctly from wherever place they have come. And so, Brother, I used to teach systematic theology, so I'm going to give you an exam, two questions, so you're going to make 150 or zero.

All right? So here we go. Question number one. When we think of the Christian God, the Trinity, do we believe the Bible teaches that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are each fully, completely, and equally God?

Yes. Very good. Yes, absolutely. We are not, without being disparaging, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Christian scientists, Unification Church. We're not Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, or Jews. We're Christians who believe in a doctrine called the Trinity that teaches that God exists as one God, yet in three distinct persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and whatever it is that makes God, God.

The Father is all of that, the Son is all of that, and the Spirit is all of that. We believe in their essential equality. All right? Very good. Question number two. In His assignment to save you and me from our sins, is God the Son submissive to God the Father?

Yes. Very good. Yes. Jesus says in John's Gospel, He who has seen me has seen the Father. The Father and I are one. Before Abraham was, I am. Great declarations of His full deity. Yet in that same Gospel, He says this, The Father is greater than I.

Wow. What does that mean? He says in that Gospel, I have come to do your will. I only do that which my Father shows me. So what He is saying is, in my essence, I am equal to my Father as God, but in my assignment, I gladly, I joyfully, I willingly submit for the purpose of redeeming a people called by my name.

That is why His submission is nothing to do with His essence. It is with His assignment. It is the same for you, ladies. Your submitting to your husband is no sign of inferiority anymore than God the Son submitting to God the Father is a sign of inferiority.

It is not. And so, really tonight, I want to bless you by just sharing that your ultimate role model for how you yield in your marriage to your husband is how the Lord Jesus, the Son of God, yields to God the Father.

Now let me pick up on one other phrase before I move ahead. It says there in verse 24 that a wife should submit in everything to their husband. Question. Does the word everything there mean without any exception or qualification?

And I believe the answer is no. No, no. So you think there are certain contexts where I don't have to submit. Yes, that's what I think. Wow, that's good. Where is my pen? And let me get my little notebook out that they gave us because I want to know where that is.

Well, I don't know that it's going to float your boat, so to speak, but I'll tell you what I believe in this particular area. I believe if your husband were to ask you to do something that falls into one of four categories, that I think not only should you not submit, I think biblically you are obligated not to submit.

You say, where are those? If he were to ask you to do something that is illegal, immoral, unethical, or plainly unbiblical, then you have to say no. Illegal, immoral, unethical, or unbiblical. In other words, my wife Charlotte, who is a wonderful, precious, godly woman who does submit to me, has said on more than one occasion, if I ever have to make a choice between honoring Jesus and honoring Danny, then Danny loses every single time.

And I praise God for that. I deserve to lose if there is a decision to be made between honoring me and honoring Jesus. And so if your husband were to ask you to do something that falls into one of those categories, then I believe that you would be responsible, obligated to say yes to Jesus and no to him.

All right? Let me raise another issue. And I'm amazed here because I've even heard in recent days some folks that are dear to me allegedly affirming this, and I'm not going to believe it until I actually hear it with my own ears, but let me raise this issue.

Does being submissive mean that you stay in an abusive relationship where you and perhaps your children are in physical danger? No, I don't believe that at all. Now let me put my cards on the table. I've never one time in 34 years in ministry, not one time have I ever counseled anyone to get a divorce.

I've never, ever counseled divorce. I believe God is in the business of reconciliation and restoration. And so as long as there is any possibility for a broken relationship to be restored, I hold out hope and that's what I pray for and that's what I work toward.

So I don't counsel persons to get a divorce. Have I though counseled people to separate? Yes. I think I have warrant for that in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Have I counseled a mate, a woman, for me each time, to separate and even take out a warrant to have an abusive spouse arrested?

Yes. That I have done. And so I don't believe that being submissive means you stay in a relationship where you get your brains beat out. I don't believe that at all. I don't believe that you are required to put yourself in physical harm and danger.

But outside of those particular categories, I do believe the Bible teaches that you will bless your husband and you will honor God by your submission. Now you say, but what if I don't agree with him? Well, hopefully he has enough sense to listen to you.

The Bible does say there is wisdom in the counsel of many. And I will tell you that my wife, in my 33 years of being married to her, has been a wonderful counselor to me and she has insight and a perspective that I don't have and so I always, to the best of my ability, seek her wisdom and seek her insight.

But ultimately, I have to stand before God and give an account for how well I led our family. That will not be her accounting, that will be mine. And therefore, you may disagree with him, but God's called him to lead.

And so you should pray for him. You should seek to share your perspective in a God-honoring way. But when everything is said and done, you trust God to lead your husband and you pray for him and you trust him and you follow him and I believe God will honor your obedience to his word.

So the first thing you do is you bless him by submitting to him. But secondly, you also bless him by respecting him. And we find that idea at the end of verse 33 where the Bible says, and let the wife see that she respects.

In that word, you have also the ideas of honoring. You even have the idea, I believe, of admiration. And so a wife provides a two-fold blessing to her husband by submitting to him and also by admiring or by respecting him.

Now, at this point, I'm moving from Biblical theology to practical theology. How do you do this? How do you live out, day in and day out, these two parameters, these two admonitions, these two directives that God has given you in terms of submitting and respecting your husband?

How do you do this practically? If you are a note-taker, ladies, I'm going to give you very quickly, in addition to those two ideas, about five things that I think you can do on a day-by-day basis that will allow you in that intimacy of relationship to submit and admire your husband in a way that he will understand and appreciate, in a way that will connect with his heart and will connect with him in the sense of this is how God made him and this is how he will respond well to you loving him in this kind of very clear and tangible way.

So five ideas very quickly. Number one, I do believe you bless him with your admiration. In other words, you let him know that you are proud of him and you are proud to say, this man is my husband. I'll be very personal.

I hope that you like me. I'm like most normal people. I like to be liked. And so I hope that when I leave on Sunday that you say to Brother Mike, hey, good call. Good to have Brother Danny. I enjoyed hearing him teach.

Hung out with him a little bit during the breaks. He seems like a nice guy. If he was my next-door neighbor, I wouldn't be upset. I hope that you like me, okay? But, no disrespect, there is a sense in which I don't give a rip what any of you think about me.

I don't care. As long as I know that this brown-eyed brunette named Charlotte that I will have been married to for 33 years this coming May believes in me, she loves me, she's proud of me. You see, you might not like me because you don't know me.

If she doesn't like me, it is because she knows me. And I cannot explain it, but I simply say to you tonight that I believe that most men like me, outside of the Lord Jesus, care more about what their wives think about them than anybody else.

This came home to me very painfully a number of years ago. We were living in Dallas. I was teaching at a college, and I was invited to speak in chapel. Well, I was speaking in chapel to a bunch of PhDs in New Testament, Hebrew, theology, the whole gamut, preaching to a bunch of young men and older men that were preparing for ministry.

And so I prepared. I prepared for the sermon that I preached in that chapel. In fact, I probably spent, no exaggeration here, 40 to 50 hours on that one sermon. Now, I preached a sermon on Philippians 2, verses 1 through 11.

Most of you would know verse 5. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. And then what follows is what many Bible scholars believe was an early Christian hymn. And so I went into the hymnic nature of that psalm in the Greek text.

I did detailed word studies of the Greek words kanao, harparkon, and harpagmos. I introduced to our faculty and our students the theological issues of what is called the hypostatic union and canonic Christology.

Are we not being blessed yet? I mean, are you just kind of looking at me like a deer in the headlights? And so anyway, I unwrapped all of that in that message, and that's college chapel, and got wonderful affirmation from my colleagues and my students.

And so about four months later, we went back to Atlanta where my mom and dad and Charlotte's mom lived, and a friend of mine down in the middle part of Georgia in a city called Griffin, a country town, called me up and said, Hey, Brother Danny, I understand you're coming back to Georgia for Christmas.

Why don't you come down and preach at my church? So I said, I'd be honored. So on a Sunday night before Christmas, I drive down to Mount Gilead Baptist Church in Griffin, Georgia, and hey, Philippians chapter 2 is a wonderful Christmas text.

It talks about the Incarnation. So I preached to a bunch of country folks in Griffin, Georgia, and I preached my sermon exactly like I preached it in that college chapel. I did my word studies of harparchon, harpagmos, and I delved into the mysteries of canonic Christology and the hypostatic union.

Got through, felt really good about myself. I had received some kind words from some folks on the way out, but again, as Mike and I were talking a while ago, when you leave on Sunday morning, most of you should repent once you get past us because you lie to us.

You lie. And we know you lie, by the way. You're not fooling us. Greatest sermon I've ever heard. Well, you're lying. Don't say that. Past you never miss it. No, yes, we do. We mess up sometimes. It's ugly.

And so y 'all lie to us, and we know that you're lying, and you should repent of your lying. But anyway, some folks had said some nice things to me, and so I got in my car, our van, to go back up to Atlanta where we were staying with my mom and dad, and I did what virtually every preacher on the planet does after he gets through preaching.

He gets in his automobile. He looks at his wife, and he says, Honey, how did I do? Well, my wife heard that question, and she said, Oh, you did fine. Time out. Rewind. Let's analyze. Number one, anytime anybody begins a sentence with the word oh, they mean oh, no.

I wish you had not asked that, and I'm now trying to find some words that will allow me to tell the truth without pulverizing you. So I picked up on it just like that. Secondly, it doesn't take a married person long of the male gender to realize that women are masters of code language.

Code language. The words mean nothing. It is the feeling behind the words that means everything, and so I knew that fine did not mean fine. Fine meant bad. You crashed and burned. It wasn't pretty. And so I fired back.

What do you mean I didn't do good? Now, that's poor grammar. We don't care about grammar at a time like that. I said, What do you mean I didn't do good? And she said, Well, I didn't say that. Well, yes, you did.

You said fine, but you didn't mean fine. Now, I want to know the truth. I can take it. Now, I was lying, of course, but I said I want to know what you really think. And so my sweet wife said, Well, if you really want to know what I think, honey, I think you forgot who you were preaching to.

I mean, these are just country folks, just regular, normal people like me. I mean, honey, you used some big words tonight. I mean, you used some words I've never heard before. And I responded, Well, if you'd gone to college like me, you'd know those words.

Oh, I know. I know. I know. It's just amazing, the dumb that can come out of the human mouth, and especially the male human mouth. And so she looked at me, and she said, Well, fine, which fine didn't mean fine again.

Since you care so much about what I think, why don't you just shut up and leave me alone? I didn't have to leave her alone. She left me alone for about two weeks, best I remember. It just was not a happy time around our house.

Now, you might say to me, Well, you acted like a fool. I'm guilty as charged. Well, why did you act like that? It hurt my feelings. It hurt my feelings. It didn't matter that others had said I did well.

She said I didn't do well. And I cannot explain it, but God wires a man in such a way that he does care deeply about what his wife thinks and believes about him. And I'll put it in my world, and then I'll move on.

I've watched ministers all my life since about 20 to 34 years. And I discovered a very interesting, on one hand, a blessed thing, on the other hand, a tragic thing. Here's what I've learned. A great woman can take a mediocre man, and she will pull him up and make him better.

You do have that much influence. On the other hand, a not-so-great woman can take a great man, and she'll pull him down to the level of the mediocre or even lower. You have that much influence in the life of this man.

And the Bible says you can bless him by your respect, by the way you admire and encourage him, all right? Secondly, practically speaking, I believe a wife can be a blessing to her husband by providing a wonderful, intimate life.

Now, we're big people tonight, and so let me just very quickly remind us of something. Sex was God's idea. It was not your idea. It was not my idea. Sex was God's idea. And personally, I think God was having a really good day when he came up with this particular thing.

I think it was one of God's very best days myself. That's just my own personal opinion, all right? But the fact of the matter is a good, intimate life doesn't just happen by accident. It is something that requires planning.

It is something that requires study, and it certainly requires communication. You have to communicate well with one another if you're going to enjoy this aspect of your marital life. Now, there's a challenge here, and there's a wonderful analogy that Gary Smalley and John Trent provided for us that I think helps us at least get a handle on why this is an area of some challenge.

And they pointed this out, and this has all sorts of practical ramifications for us who are parents as well, so listen very carefully. Men, Gary says, are very much like microwave ovens when it comes to the intimate part of life.

Women, on the other hand, he says, are very much like crockpots. And I didn't say crackpots. I said crockpots, okay? Crockpots, all right? You say, what does he mean? Here's what he means. Men are creatures of sight.

Men are moved by what they see. And when a man sees what he likes, he's very much like a microwave oven, and boom, he can heat up, and it takes him no time at all. There's a $12 billion industry in America called pornography.

12 billion percent. It used to be 99 percent, which teaches us and informs us of the growing perversion of our culture. 95 percent of all pornography is viewed by men. 95 percent. And so men are wired visually.

By the way, that then should impact those of us who are here tonight as parents with respect to what we will do if we have been blessed by God with daughters. And I will tell you, again, I have been utterly amazed in my 34 years in ministry at how some parents will allow their teenagers to leave the house.

Just dumbfounded. I mean, if I can just be blunt, which is the way I'm wired, you're basically allowing her to parade around like a Christian slut. Is that really what you want? Do you really want guys to be undressing your daughter and having relations with her in their mind?

Because any male in this room that's normal will tell you, yeah, honey, that's what we do. Because that's how depraved and fallen and sinful our minds are apart from the redeeming grace of God. Right, guys?

Am I lying? No. You know it's true. So what are we doing? We need to teach our sisters to conduct themselves and dress themselves in a way that doesn't cause their brothers to quickly stumble in that regard.

Now, guys, let me be back on you, though. Job 31 .1 makes it very clear. Job says, I made a covenant with my eyes not to look inappropriately upon a young maiden, upon a young woman, upon a young virgin.

So you're responsible for where your eyes go. So it's not their fault. No, it's your fault. It's your fault for looking at things you ought not to be looking at and for dwelling on objects that you ought not to dwell on.

No, no, no, no, no. You are just as culpable and just as responsible. But, bottom line, men are creatures of sight. They're moved by what they see. Guys, women are much more creatures of the ear and of the heart.

And, therefore, like a crockpot, they have to kind of simmer a while before they will be ready. And so you need to understand in this intimate relationship that you have to approach her in that kind of a way, speaking to her ear, ministering to her heart, which, by the way, is one of the ways that a man loves his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, which we'll talk about in the next session.

But here's my point, and I'll move on. Sex is a good gift from a great God. It is to be wonderfully experienced and enjoyed within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman. And no marriage will ever be everything God wants it to be without the intimate part being a joyful, blessed aspect of that relationship, all right?

So you can bless Him by providing that kind of intimacy, all right? Number three, you can bless Him with home support. You can bless Him with home support. You say, what do you mean by that? Well, let me just provide you a colloquial phrase that will put everything into perspective.

You'll help me fill in the blank. In the home, if Mama ain't happy, what? Nobody is going to be happy. Now, ladies, that may not be fair. It's probably not, but it is true. It is absolutely true. In the home, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody going to be happy.