Have You Not Read S2E26 - Complementarianism
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Join Andrew, David and Michael as they talk about complementarian versus egalitarian views in the church, patriarchy, and how Christian husbands should relate to their wives. Specifically, should Christian husbands compare themselves to Jesus when He is described as more glorious than the Bride in Revelation 19? Isn't that an arrogant position for followers of Christ to take?
- 00:11
- Welcome to Have You Not Read, a podcast seeking to answer questions from the text of Scripture for the honor of Christ and the edification of the saints.
- 00:19
- Before we dig into our topic, we humbly ask you to rate, review, and share the podcast. Thank you.
- 00:26
- I'm Andrew Hudson. Joining me today are Michael Deere and David Kassin. All right, we have a question.
- 00:33
- It reads, I consider myself a complimentarian. It seems like God made man and woman to compliment each other.
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- Lately, I've been hearing several young men talk about being the patriarchy. They talk about gender roles, and I can follow that well enough, but other examples seem arrogant.
- 00:53
- They bring up passages about how the focus of the wedding was on the groom in the wedding.
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- They brought up how the bride is described in Revelation 19, and how much more glorious the groom is described.
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- Surely, Christ is more glorious than all, but should Christian men compare themselves to Jesus in relation to their spouses?
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- Michael. Okay, so I think that when we hear this question, it's good to kind of walk through it and define the terms that are being used.
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- Yeah, what is complimentarian? So complimentarian is going to be used in a contrasting relation to a different type of understanding of an arrangement between husband and wife, man and woman.
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- So egalitarian would be a contrast to complimentarian.
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- So what's the difference? An egalitarian understanding of husband and wife has, of course, spillover effects into understanding how society should be ordered, how the church should be ordered.
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- Why is that? Because family was the original society. Everything in human society has its
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- DNA in the family, and the family started with husband and wife. So whatever we say about husband and wife, about the marriage relationship, has massive implications for all the rest of society, civil order, the propriety of what goes on in the church, and we find that this is definitely the case as we read through the scriptures.
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- So complimentarian versus egalitarian. Now, the questioner gives a definition for complimentarianism when the questioner says it seems like God made man and woman to compliment each other.
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- You can just hear that in the term itself. So there is a sense in which the egalitarian side would say the female saying to the male or the male saying to the female, anything you can do,
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- I can do same if not better. It's not based upon the differences in our sex, it's not a difference in the fact that you're male and female, not a difference in gender, male, female.
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- That has no bearing on how well I can do something, how well you can do something, or what roles we should play.
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- Egalitarianism would say any type of proclivity or role that the wife or mother should have or that a wife should want to even be a mother, that shouldn't even be there.
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- She could be the breadwinner and he can stay at home. He could raise the kids or he can clean the house and she can be the breadwinner.
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- It doesn't matter either way, or they should both work. And so there's a sense in which very much so, male and female are fungible, you can exchange them out.
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- It doesn't matter. So Complementarian is recognizing that God made male and female different, but both good.
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- And they are meant to cooperate together in a particular type of relationship that brings glory to God.
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- And it's not something where the man looks at the wife and says, anything you can do, I can do better. It's something where he says to her and she says to him, there are things that God has designed you to do that you do better.
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- And I'm glad that you do those. And I welcome that in our relationship as loving actions.
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- And then the husband says to the wife, there are things you can do that I can't do as well. You do these things so much better than I do.
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- And I am so glad that you are bringing that into our relationship, into our family. And I appreciate that.
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- And I applaud that. That's Complementarianism. So I think that's the difference. Anything else to add to that or nuance?
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- This is a Christian asking this question, and within the church right now, there is a debate regarding Complementarianism and Egalitarianism.
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- And I want to differentiate how you defined Egalitarianism from the pagan culture around us where male and female are completely fungible and you can change genders back and forth.
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- What even is that term, right? To them, right? What is male or female? Yeah, the best way to promote equality is to get rid of all differences entirely.
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- So I want to make sure we draw a distinction because there are Christians who use verses like in Christ there is neither slave nor free,
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- Jew or Gentile, male or female. All of those previous differences that had their place back in the day are no longer important in Christ.
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- And they're trying to develop their Egalitarianism based upon that. That's very different from the greater culture around us that says where patriarchy is used as a pejorative.
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- Smash the patriarchy if you want to get rid of it. Any kind of gender role is inherently evil and oppressive.
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- So we need to get rid of all of that. I had actually a friend of mine that I've spoken to recently, she's raising her two boys trying to raise them without any gender roles whatsoever because those are garbage.
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- Those are hurtful. That's what she's doing in her family and she's definitely the leader of her family.
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- But this would be more of an in -house debate. This is someone who considers themselves a complementarian in the church as opposed to an egalitarian in the church.
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- You have someone who's saying, okay, there's a complement. There is a role that both of these play and they have distinctions.
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- As you said, they're the husband and the wife, the male and the female have things that they both do differently and better and those are actually rooted in the created order.
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- We read Genesis 1, both male and female are created in the image of God. We know that.
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- As far as they're standing before God and their value, they both have the same derivative value off of God made in the image of God.
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- That's why they both have value because they're both made in the image of God. Also, they made them male and female.
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- Those roles, if you look through, especially in the New Testament, even though in Christ there's neither
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- Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free, male or female, those roles are listed out especially among husband and wife.
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- There's a husband and wife role. There's a submission role that a wife has to her husband, but women in general don't submit to men in general.
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- We don't see that. We see congregations submitting to their leaders who are men. There's a general submission to leadership and there is a spousal submission within that as well, but is there anything in the scriptures that say that women are to be subservient to men or women in the church are to be submissive to men in general?
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- Do we see any of that or if somebody thought that, where would they get that? Well, everything is run through the discussions in 1
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- Timothy 2 and 3 in describing the differences between men and women based out of creation and with reference to the fall and then the qualifications for elders and deacons.
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- These things are rooted in Genesis 1, 2, and 3. The description of proper order in the church, 1
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- Corinthians 14, this is rooted again in the structure of the family.
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- If women have an objection to what is being preached or they have a serious question, rather than going to other men, they should be going to their husbands.
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- But there's an implication there that a woman should not be deriving the teaching ministry of the church by saying, no, we need to talk about this instead.
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- This is the background for proper order when Paul says that women are to be silent in the churches.
- 09:02
- He doesn't mean don't pray, don't talk, don't encourage, don't worship, don't sing. That's not what he's saying. In the context, if you read it, he's talking about proper order and who should be taking the lead and men shouldn't be talking over one another and being confusing and it's all about proper order.
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- But the proper order that he talks about when it comes to male and female in the church is deeply rooted into the structure of the family itself.
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- And so that's what this questioner is asking. So here's something to consider. This person says,
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- I consider myself to be a complementarian. Why that instead of egalitarian? What makes the difference for you?
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- Why are you complementarian rather than egalitarian? If it is because I think that's what the Bible teaches, if you think it's because that's the instructions that Christ has given, then excellent.
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- We are in very good ground here to help us move forward to answer this question. When somebody like an egalitarian quotes that passage that you mentioned,
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- David, there is neither slave nor free, neither male nor female in Christ. What that is referring to, what that is pointing to is that we are to identify ourselves as Christians, not
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- I'm a male Christian, I'm a female Christian, I'm a black Christian, I'm a white Christian. That's not in the vocabulary.
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- That's not what we're supposed to be about. We're not to put anything at the right hand of God next to Christ. Christ alone occupies that spot.
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- Furthermore, Christ in his authority gives specific instructions to masters and to slaves, specific instructions to men and women, husbands and wives.
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- So Christ himself giving instructions to his people and in general, he isolates and identifies and there are instructions given to Jews and Gentiles about how to love one another and accept one another in Christ.
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- So just because we have a passage that says there is neither this nor that in Christ, we can't then read that somewhat in an elementary way, literalistically, and read it over and against contradicting other parts of the scripture.
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- Yeah, we don't want to see that one versus normative on all others. Exactly. We have to keep it in its immediate context, which was just a…
- 11:12
- Do Jews have better standing in Christ than Gentiles? Exactly. Yeah. No. Yeah. So putting all that into context, there is a debate, you know, side
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- A, egalitarianism, side B, complementarianism, and as usual,
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- Jesus says no, right? We think that this is the debate. We have an Overton window, the right side and the left side, which side are you on?
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- But here's the question, if you are complementarian, why? Probably because you say this is the instructions of Jesus that we should be so.
- 11:40
- Well, let's pay attention to the instructions of Christ and let's see where we end up. I doubt it's going to look like the current form of complementarianism that is so often taught and celebrated in our churches.
- 11:50
- I figure it's probably going to be deeper, richer, more thorough. The instructions of Christ concerning marriage and family is going to be a lot more totalizing than we realize, right?
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- And that's not to say that what it is is some sort of patriarchy where young men can parade around and be arrogant, right?
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- If that's the case, that's wrong. But if that's the argument, it's a straw man argument. Those men that he was referencing, he says, proud to be part of the patriarchy.
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- It's like they were going over and against the culture that's going to be hyper -feminist and wants to smash the patriarchy.
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- Well, now I'm going to go the opposite and I'm going to be proud of that patriarchy. And it seems like they're drawing their definitions just to be contrary to the culture rather than drawing their definitions from the scripture itself.
- 12:34
- Yeah, swinging the pendulum way too far, right? That's common, isn't it? Oh yeah, sure. It's very easy to be against something rather than for something.
- 12:42
- So swinging the pendulum way too far there, if somebody is being arrogant about being a part of the patriarchy, that is not appropriate.
- 12:49
- Now when we have the metaphor in Revelation 19, indeed the groom is described as far more glorious than the bride.
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- Indeed, our salvation depends on the superior glory of Christ and our glory is dependent upon his, a reflection of his, not something independently of ourselves.
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- It was given to her to be dressed in fine linen, white and clean, it says. So the glory that the bride bears is derived from the groom.
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- And this is essential for our meditation on salvation.
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- But as far as the question is, should Christian men compare themselves to Jesus in relationship to their spouses, there is a way to do that poorly, right?
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- Christ has all authority, he's king of kings, he's lord of lords, he's at the right hand of the father, a name which is above every name, everybody should bow to him.
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- He rules from Mount Zion with an iron rod, smashing the nations like clay pots if they rebel against him, so on and so forth.
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- And in this regard, obviously, we are not to be comparing ourselves as Christian men to Christ in relationship to our spouse in every single biblical metaphor that there is.
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- Yeah, there's only one Christ. Right, and so that would be a misuse of those metaphors, a misapplication.
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- But where we do have discussion of husband and wife, the best metaphor that we have, the best explanation that we have is one in which we see a comparison between Christ and the church.
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- So when we go back to Genesis chapter 2, as Jesus, when he was answering the question about divorce and saying what marriage is all about, he said from the beginning, it's not so.
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- So when we go back to Genesis chapter 2, we remember that in Genesis 1, first of all, God creates male and female in his image, he created them, he said to them, he blessed them and said, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.
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- So he makes them in his image, he makes them in his likeness, male and female image of God. Now, we discover in chapter 2 of Genesis, after God forms man out of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living being, that he was made first and there's no
- 15:06
- Eve yet, there's no woman yet. And God plants a garden, puts the man in it, says you tend and keep it, he has the man, see a parade of all the animals, they all come by two by two, there is male and female, male and female.
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- And they look different, they look different, they have different capacities, different capabilities, it's clear that this lion and this lioness, they're both lions, but there's a difference between them.
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- And it's a good difference, but it's not good for the man to be alone. The man needs a helpmeet, how can he be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it without a helpmeet?
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- It is not good for the man to be alone, he must have a helpmeet. And so the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, verse 21, and he slept, and he took one of his ribs and closed it with the flesh in its place.
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- So Adam goes into a deep sleep, it looks like death, God takes a rib out, surgery,
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- Adam bleeds from the blood of the first Adam, by the wound of the first Adam, the first Eve is made.
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- It is therefore not some crazy stretch for Paul to reflect upon marriage and the archetype marriage of Adam and Eve, and to say this is a mystery in Ephesians 5, but this is ultimately about Christ and his church.
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- In Acts he says that Christ shed his blood for his bride, the church.
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- And so when we think about the relationship between Adam and Eve, we're to think about the relationship between Christ and the church.
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- We are to understand marriage in reflection to comparing ourselves as Christian men, as husbands, and the relationship between Christ and the church in those regards.
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- So I think, yes, we are to compare ourselves to Christ within those proper metaphors.
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- Now we do not relate to our wives as Christ relates to the nations, right? We don't relate to our wives as Christ relates to creation.
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- We relate to our wives as Christ relates to the church, specifically, I think we have to say that. I think
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- Paul does that very thing. He does that in the quintessential passages regarding how a husband should regard his wife.
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- What does it say? It's Ephesians 5, 25. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
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- This is what Christ has done for the church, sanctified and cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word, and presented the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.
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- So it's not like husbands can die on the cross as a sinless sacrifice to redeem their wives.
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- That's not what Paul is saying. Have the same mind in you that was in Christ where he gave himself up for the one that he loves, and that is the charge to human
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- Christian men. Using that as an example, I should be willing to die each day for my wife.
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- That's the standard. Yeah. So this is where we need to dig deeper in Ephesians 5, dig deeper than the egalitarian, complementarian conversation.
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- Yeah, it's not either or, it's no. Yeah, exactly. No, but here's how it works. So when we read, wives submit to your own husbands as to the
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- Lord, we remember who has the authority. Being made in the image of God, I do have authority that I am to use, but I'm mediating that authority from God.
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- It's not my own. Extrinsic. Yes. So her submission to me, it should be as unto the
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- Lord, not as if I am Christ himself, but ultimately her submission, a wife's submission to her husband should be an act of submission to God, of submission to Christ.
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- Sort of like all of us, we obey lawful laws because government is put in place, it's derivative, that power derives from God.
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- As God's servant. Exactly. So we should obey proper laws, but when those laws go outside the bounds of Christ, we have an obligation to obey
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- Christ first. Same thing, there's an obligation to obey Christ first. And then the word of God actually outlines how we go about doing that.
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- This is how I want you to submit to Christ. Do it this way. So when we think about wives submitting to their husbands, we are to think about the husband being the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, the savior of the body.
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- Now it says, as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
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- In everything. Now this is not popular, but think about a church. How is a church subject to Christ in everything?
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- Well, that's not easy for the church. We very often think we have a better idea or maybe
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- Christ's commands are too strict, perhaps too narrow. Sometimes I turn people off from joining with us.
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- Yeah, once they find out that we obey Christ's command here or here, boy, that looks really strict.
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- It doesn't look like the church has really enough freedom to flourish and do her thing. And yet the church is to be subject to Christ.
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- He died for the church. He shed his own blood in her place and for her sake.
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- He died and he was raised from the dead and he was raised. And so the church is to submit to Christ, to be subject to Christ in everything.
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- This is one reason why my commitment is to preach Christ from all the scriptures until he is formed in all of his people.
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- That's my mission. That's my goal. And so we preach passage by passage throughout the scriptures because this is
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- Christ's word by his spirit to us, even as whatever the father would say, the son says by the spirit to the church.
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- And so we have to listen to that and obey him. So in the same way, let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
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- Now the idea, so how often do we normally hear, well, I'm going to have to check with a wife.
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- Now it's good to submit to one another and recognize that your wife has several commitments for the good of the household, right?
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- Because she's helping the household to flourish. She's helping the household to be prosperous. She's helping the household to, to function really, really well in ways that I'm not good at, right?
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- It's a very important when I make some kind of commitment that I ask Amy to check the family calendar that she keeps because I will,
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- I will mess something up or I will, I will commit us to something that when we already were committed to something else, she saved me earlier this week with that calendar.
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- The Proverbs 31 woman has a pretty, pretty detailed calendar. Okay. She's got a lot going on.
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- And how happy is the man who has a wife with a full calendar with things that are very, very good for the family.
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- Okay. Amen. However, when this turns into, and this is part of Ephesians 5, 21, you're submitting to one another, you know, we looking to, you know, it's like,
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- Hey, you know, I want to be conscientious of all this effort you've invested and I really appreciate it. However, the wife has to be subject to her husband's and everything.
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- So when the husband walks around and says, well, the boss says it's time to leave. Well, I got to check with the boss and those kinds of expressions.
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- That's, that's not biblical, right? And also it's not biblical for the husband to say, well,
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- I would, but my wife, you know, again, you're not taking responsibility for your household in that, in that manner.
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- You know, we would, but fortunately my wife has scheduled this and I'm so thankful for that.
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- And we're going to go do this because this is really important for our family. It's good for us. And so I'm looking forward to, to leading out in this endeavor.
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- I'm taking responsibility for everything in your household. So it doesn't sound like, well, I got to check in with the boss or blaming your wife.
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- Like Adam blamed Eve, you know, or blamed God and Eve. And when you treat your wife in that way, as in you're the boss, you have all the authority, you've just shirked all responsibility.
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- It's a way for you to shed your responsibility. It says, well, it's not my fault. Yeah. Like, yeah, it is.
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- You're the head of your house and you, you bear that responsibility and that weight in a way that she does not.
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- So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as the
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- Lord does the church. So a man who doesn't take care of himself, you know, we call them a slob or at least we used to, you know, now that would be, well,
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- I don't know, probably some sort of hate speech. But, but we look at somebody who's like, you know, you're an overweight slob, you know, you need to clean up your act.
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- Fat shaming. Yeah. You need to, you need to clean up your act. So also is a man being irresponsible and not, not doing his, his job.
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- If he does not take responsibility for everything that happens in his household and seeks to, to lead his wife and to nourish her and to support her, even as he would his own body, you know, how thoughtful is a man about his health, especially like post 35, moving into the forties, a man thinks a lot about his health, trying to take care of his own flesh.
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- How does he take care of his wife? Well, just as the Lord does the church. And so there's this mystery.
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- He says, Paul says, this is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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- So yes, indeed. I think this would be very, very good. A wife should very much want her husband to be comparing himself to Christ in relationship to the church so that he would, and if the husband would so do that, then he would love and nourish and cherish his wife.
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- He would support her in so many different ways. He would lead her into things that are good.
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- He would take responsibility for the household and will this compliment the marriage?
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- Well, certainly it would. And then she would have her roles to compliment as well, but it's more than just complimenting one another.
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- That is a big part of it, but it's not the whole picture because there are indeed, there is authority that the husband is to wield, which means taking responsibility for everything.
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- And there is respect and obedience on the wife's side. That's more than what complementarianism is usually expressed as.
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- Now it could be expressed that way, but it's more than what it usually is. We talk about submission and then obedience and we're using the comparison with the government and that derivative authority.
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- What you just said scares the heck out of a lot of women because they see centuries of abuse.
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- You have the Christian standard as far as a husband goes and submitting to that, the complimentary passage out of Colossians, Colossians 3, verse 18, wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the
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- Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Contrast that with what
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- Peter said, live with your wife in an understanding way with a weaker vessel so that your prayers will not be cut off.
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- So there's a role that husbands are supposed to provide in the context of Christ loving the church, giving himself up for her, protecting, providing, not shirking responsibility, not shoving it off on her, but providing that environment where she can flourish and be safe.
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- And if you're treating her in a harsh way or abusive, you are not fulfilling that role.
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- That is also a violation. But the way to protect ourselves is not to do away with all general roles.
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- I mean, that's the whole point. That's why they, you can get rid of all the roles, then the oppression will cease. No, it won't.
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- It actually opens up for all manner of oppression. All manner of oppression from multiple different sources.
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- It does. Yes. So if a husband is not going to compare himself to Jesus's love for the church, then what will he compare himself to?
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- What will be his standard? The husband is to follow Christ.
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- He is to follow Christ in everything, including his marriage. So he is to think about Christ's relationship to the church and comparatively nourish and sacrifice and lead.
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- And so this is the model that we're given. It's there all the way back in Genesis 1 and 2, and it is only affirmed in Ephesians and Colossians and Peter.
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- And it's clear that a, perhaps a stereotype, newly married, let's say somewhere around five years into the marriage, husband and wife, as they continue to grow in the faith, wanting to know how to have their marriage strengthened by the word, looking at these passages.
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- You're right, David. It's pretty nerve wracking for the young lady to hear, I need to obey my husband in everything.
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- I need to respect my husband as the church is submitted to Christ. I'm supposed to be submitted to my husband, but my husband is full of all of these flaws and problems.
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- And he messed up here, here and here. And I was right the whole time. If he had just listened to me, we wouldn't have had these problems.
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- And he has no idea what to do with the baby. If he was on his own,
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- I wouldn't, I don't know if he would survive three months if he was on his own. So there's a sense in which there is a, there has to be a learning to respect the husband, even as this only goes hand in hand with learning to trust the husband and to submit to the husband, even though he gets it wrong, he doesn't understand everything and he's going to, he's just going to mess up.
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- He just is. But it's not good for the man to be alone. He needs a help meet somebody who can meet him and help him and be by his side to encourage him and to support him and back him.
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- And so, you know, eventually that trust and that obedience and that respect should be developed.
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- Now, however, if this whole model is devalued, right?
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- The biblical model is devalued, then who's going to teach it and instruct it?
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- What's the biblical answer? Who should be teaching young women to love their husbands and keep a good household in the biblical model?
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- The older women. Titus too. Yeah, Titus. I mean, just all of this bears on, if you flip to Titus, you're going to get a lot of great answers to these questions.
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- This is a great question here that we received. And of course, you know, we've done our best to answer.
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- However, I encourage you, if this is a question from a young woman or from any age woman, okay,
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- I would encourage you to go find a godly woman who you could see as a spiritual mentor, discipler, and somebody who is committed to the scriptures and ask this lady, ask the sister in Christ to help you understand what does it look like to submit to your husband when he doesn't have it all together, right?
- 30:03
- I mean, that's - And for those not together husbands to be discipled by the elder men.
- 30:09
- That's right. Word. Yeah. So when you look at the Titus too, this is not warrant for, we're going to have older women teaching younger women doctrine.
- 30:20
- It specifically says, I mean, doctrine is going to be involved undoubtedly, as it always is.
- 30:26
- But this is older women teaching younger women on how to love their husbands, how to raise their children.
- 30:33
- This is very important. Paul said to Titus, this is the solution for Cretans. And man, if it worked for Cretans, it could work for Americans.
- 30:43
- Well, this passage, I mean, this is quintessential passage regarding the roles of wives and husbands and in relation to each other and in relation to Christ.
- 30:50
- And you mentioned it, but the previous verse, verse 21 says, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, then moves into verse 22, wives submit to your own husbands.
- 31:03
- And then verse 25, husbands love your wives. Now, of course, when this was originally written, there are no chapter divisions, no verses. This flows right into it.
- 31:10
- Can you address what does it mean to submit one to another out of reference for Christ in relation to these roles that husbands and wives have been given?
- 31:18
- That's an excellent question. Remember that the verse 21 is appended to, it's a participle flowing from the previous instructions, okay?
- 31:26
- So when we back up just a little bit, we read verse 17, therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the
- 31:32
- Lord is and do not be drunk with wine, which is dissipation, but be filled with the spirit. What does that sound like? What does that look like?
- 31:38
- Well, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your hearts to the
- 31:43
- Lord, put a little highlight there and hold onto that as we get done at the bottom of this passage, giving thanks always for all things to God, the
- 31:51
- Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. I think it's great whenever you study the worship wars in recent church history and even going back even further, how many of those conflicts would have been solved if the
- 32:07
- Christians who were trying to figure out the exact precise way to sing would submit to one another in the fear of Christ.
- 32:14
- Hello, that would have been helpful, right? So this is appended to the previous, but it still has an impact on husband and wife.
- 32:24
- Because after all, if we're looking at Christian marriages, a husband and a wife married, both in Christ, also are brother and sister in Christ.
- 32:35
- So there is going to be some kind of submission to one another. And in what ways? You mentioned the passage in Peter.
- 32:42
- Husbands are to treat their wives. Husbands are to modify their speech, their actions, their attitudes.
- 32:53
- Husbands are to modify themselves in such a way as to bear with their wives in an understanding way, an applied study.
- 33:02
- The metaphor in that Kirk Cameron film, Fireproof, I've got my master's,
- 33:09
- I'm learning my wife. I've got my master's in understanding my wife. I'm working on my PhD, you know, I'm learning and I'm learning my wife.
- 33:16
- Okay, so this is a way of the husband submitting himself to the wife in like, I'm trying to learn how to live with you in an understanding way.
- 33:23
- That means I'm denying myself in order to serve you in this way so I can be a better understanding of you.
- 33:29
- And the wife, of course, is given the instruction in verse 22 immediately, how does a
- 33:34
- Christian wife submit herself to her Christian husband as a sister to a brother in Christ?
- 33:41
- Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Two wives immediately get that instruction. Later on we see instructions to the husbands to Christ sacrificed himself for the church so also, you know, and nourishes the church so also the husband should be doing that.
- 33:55
- So that's what it looks like. There is a submission to one another. There is a denial to the self to affirm the other in accordance with the roles that have been prescribed.
- 34:07
- We don't get to fill in our own definitions of what it means to submit one to another. Paul does this for us in the succeeding chapter and he does it, as you said, within the context of family.
- 34:18
- Yes, and again, the reason why this question is so important is because what happens in the family, critically the core of the family being husband and wife, how the husband and wife relationship is understood, how marriage is understood, is the nexus from which all society proceeds.
- 34:37
- So if marriage is understood as, you know, all the different dynamics of marriage are playing out in society all around us.
- 34:46
- There's no difference between men and women in a marriage. The roles are, you know, genders are fungible.
- 34:51
- You can take it or leave it. Marriage can be taken apart while society can fall apart as well.
- 34:57
- Kids are unimportant. You know, you just go down the whole list and you can see every ill of society found in every ill of marriage.
- 35:05
- That's the way God made the world. Thank you for addressing that question. Is there any media you've been consuming that you'd like to recommend or talk about?
- 35:14
- Yeah, well, I read a little book called What is New Covenant Theology?
- 35:20
- An Introduction by Blake White. And I was introduced to Blake White as he spoke at a conference at, was it
- 35:30
- Pecan? Pecan Creek. Pecan Creek. The Church of Pecan Creek. Yes. So they've got a
- 35:36
- YouTube channel. There's also sermon audio. And Blake White was at a conference there and speaking. And he has just a little primer on New Covenant Theology.
- 35:44
- And it's easy read. Highly recommend it. The Church of Pecan Creek is in Denton, Texas.
- 35:51
- And it's a lovely little congregation that has welcomed me as the weird cousin that occasionally visits once in a while.
- 36:03
- They're great. I will show up on a Sunday after not being there for several weeks or several months.
- 36:09
- And they're glad to see me, remember me. And it says, when are you going to bring your family? Please. So it's just, they're just a lovely group of people.
- 36:18
- I had mentioned this. I taught on Wednesday night a few weeks ago. And I had mentioned
- 36:23
- Matthew Henry's A Way to Pray. So I'm going to bring that one back up again. Matthew Henry is best known for his commentary.
- 36:31
- It's available online. You can get it for free. Both the abridged and then the unabridged versions.
- 36:36
- But he wrote this book on how to pray or a way to pray is what he called it. And it was, he felt it was so important.
- 36:44
- He stopped his work on his commentaries in order to write this book. He thought it was so important. And it's possible that he didn't finish his entire commentary series because he was working on this.
- 36:55
- So if you haven't read Matthew Henry, do so. And this is something that you can add to your repertoire.
- 37:02
- A Way to Pray, Matthew Henry. This may be a little circular, but whenever I'm not here with the brothers doing the podcast,
- 37:09
- I listen to the podcast. There have been a couple episodes recently where I haven't been involved in any of the production.
- 37:17
- And yet I'm listening to it and being edified by the conversation that's happening, the scriptures that are being read, the teaching that's coming from it, leading to questions where I may not necessarily have agreed with the way it was put or some of the conclusions.
- 37:34
- But going to the word, there's nothing better than being knit together, being built together with your brothers and sisters at the congregation.
- 37:47
- It's a wonderful thing. So it's not necessarily that I'm trying to plug the podcast.
- 37:53
- It's just been a great blessing. And I would highly advise you to listen along.
- 38:01
- I'm sure you'll get something out of it as well. All right. Well, what are we thankful for?
- 38:07
- I'm thankful to God for the, um, the health and strength to work and to labor and to do so with my sons.
- 38:16
- And it's been, uh, it's been a real joy lately. We're working on a shed in the backyard and to have, um,
- 38:23
- Benjamin and Emmett and Toby out there and we've got hammers and nails and we're just whacking away, you know, it's, uh, it's a real blessing.
- 38:31
- Just, I'm just thankful for that. We had some bad weather, uh, just last night.
- 38:36
- I am, uh, very thankful that, um, house and, uh, everybody's okay that, um, we have the church members that were a little bit further south that, uh, then they seem okay, um, as well as, but the, the tornadoes caused a lot of damage.
- 38:50
- So I am incredibly grateful for God's mercies during that time. And it is a reminder that he is master of all creation and those displays of power remind us of who we are and who he is.
- 39:05
- But I am a very, very thankful that he has preserved us in our church and in spite of the bad weather yesterday.
- 39:11
- I'm thankful to God for favor with my professors. I'm continuing in my undergraduate studies. Um, extra credit is, it's a great thing.
- 39:20
- Uh, when you, when you need it. And, uh, I thank God for the extra credit that I was afforded these past couple of weeks.
- 39:27
- I'm very grateful. And that wraps it up for today. We are very thankful for our listeners and hope you will join us again as we meet to answer common questions and objections with having not read.