TLP 461: Your Family’s Understanding | the Circle of Learning, Part 2

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I know that your kids probably hate being reproofed. They hate being told they're wrong.

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They hate receiving consequences for their sin. But there is hope to teach our kids how to value reproof.

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Welcome to Truth. Love. Parents. Where we use God's Word to become intentional, premeditated parents.

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Here's your host, A .M. Brewster. Welcome back to part two of our continuing series,

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Teaching Your Children to Learn. In this sub -series, we're diving deeper into the circle of learning.

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Now if God expects His children to be eternal students, then it's very important for families to understand and utilize the circle of learning in their homes, because the circle of learning is how

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God created us to learn best. My name is Aaron Michael Brewster, and among other things,

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I have been an educator for almost 30 years. I've been an elementary school teacher, a junior high teacher, and a high school teacher.

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I've homeschooled my children from preschool through their senior year. I've taught hundreds of students in my various martial arts schools, and I've promoted almost 20 black belts.

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I was a regional training manager for Panera Bread Company, and I've coached people in acting, survival skills, prestidigitation, and outdoor sports like mountain biking, skiing, and rock climbing.

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In addition to that, I'm a parent, preacher, and biblical counselor, so teaching is an integral part of everything

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I do. I love teaching, and I love learning. That's why in the early 2000s,

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I created the image of the circle of learning. Now if you've listened to any of this series so far, then you realize that God was the one who created learning.

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He created the circle. I just illustrated it in a helpful mnemonic device. By the way, if you join the

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TLP family, and by the way, it's free to sign up, among other things, you will get access to a downloadable circle of learning you can print out, hang up in your home, and teach to your kids.

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When you couple the circle of learning JPEG with the free episode notes and transcripts from this series, you'll be more than ready to start teaching your kids to learn.

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Just head over to TruthLoveParent .com to access all these resources and more. In fact, I've given you a link in the description of today's episode for the

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Teach Your Children to Learn series, which will give you all of the info you need in one place. By the way,

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I highly recommend you take advantage of all this content while it's still free. TruthLoveParent is quickly moving into Phase 3 of its content creation.

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That means that a lot of the material created early on is going to get new life when it's transformed into a book or an online workshop or conference.

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And when that happens, the original podcast episodes will only be available to people who purchase the new resource. It's an exciting time for TLP as we start monetizing our content so that we can grow and create more content.

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But slowly and surely, a lot of our most sought -after podcast episodes will be placed behind a pay wall.

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So, listen as much as you can, take advantage of the free episode notes and transcripts while you can, and share

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TruthLoveParents with your friends so they can join in as well. And with that, let's talk about how your family can increase their understanding.

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First, please recognize that your family cannot move into the understanding stage until they first have knowledge.

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You can't understand what you don't know. Though knowledge isn't the pinnacle of learning, it's an absolute necessity.

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It's where we have to start. Sometimes I encounter parents trying to get their kids to understand something their kids don't even really know.

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It's very easy to take knowledge for granted and assume that other people have the same knowledge that we do. It's a foolish assumption, anyway you slice it, but we do it.

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This is why teaching is the first of the parents' four jobs and why it's part of the other three. We parents must never surrender our responsibility to teach our kids.

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We can't just assume they know it. I'm not saying that every parent needs to homeschool their children. I'm saying that God is saying that dads and moms need to be their children's primary educators.

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They need to take responsibility for all of their children's learning, even if part of that learning happens at school.

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And we definitely need to take full responsibility for our kids' spiritual education, even if we invite pastors and youth workers and Sunday school teachers and other disciplers into the process.

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So teaching is the first step because knowledge is necessary. The second step is then to help our kids deepen their understanding by knowing and comprehending the deeper truths that quote unquote, stand under, understand, stand under, stand under the facts that they've learned.

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Learning is like colors. Knowledge is knowing that the three subtractive primary colors are red, blue, and yellow.

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Understanding can be compared to being able to explain how those three colors mix together to form all of the other colors.

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In fact, that's a good way to understand understanding. Knowledge is being able to state a fact. Understanding means that we're able to explain the fact.

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The better we understand a concept, the better we'll be able to explain it. The more detail we'll be able to give in our explanation.

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This is why teachers are the best learners. The process of understanding the material well enough to teach it to someone else helps them better understand it themselves.

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So today we're going to see what the Bible says about understanding, and we're going to approach this topic much like we did knowledge.

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So let's start with number one, the nature of understanding. A, understanding can be good.

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Now listen, I didn't say that it was good. It can be good. Last time I made the observation that knowledge is good.

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All knowledge is good. Lies on the other hand are bad. For example, Proverbs 30, 12 says, there is a kind who is pure in his own eyes, yet is not washed from his filthiness.

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This person's issue is that they're believing a lie. They believe themselves to be pure, but they're not. That's not the truth of their situation.

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Knowing the truth that they're a sinner, that they're impure, would be very good. However, though knowledge of the truth is always good, understanding can be good or bad.

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How is that possible, you may ask? Well, though understanding does involve being acquainted with additional facts that support and expand on the original fact, there is also a level of interpretation to understanding.

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Have your children ever been certain that they understand something only to explain it and prove that they didn't understand it at all?

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Well, there's a personal aspect to understanding in that interpretation and synthesis are part of the process of understanding.

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This is why Proverbs 3, 5 says, trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.

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Your understanding may be very wrong. Yes, it's what you believe to be true about the situation, but that doesn't mean you're right.

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Your understanding can be very tainted. Proverbs 12, 15 tells us the way of a fool is right in his own eyes.

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And Proverbs 21, 2 says, every man's way is right in his own eyes. It's really easy to think we're right even when we're dead wrong.

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This is why it's so dangerous to follow our hearts and lean on our own understanding. This is why Judges 17, 6 and 21, 25 both read, in those days there was no king in Israel.

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Every man did what was right in his own eyes. The author wanted the seriousness of the situation to weigh heavily on us.

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The idea of everyone doing what he thought was right is a scary scenario. So as we attempt to understand truth and help our kids do the same, we must make certain that our understanding coincides with God's understanding.

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Only then can it be good. And this is desperately important for many reasons, not the least of which is

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B, understanding is power. If knowledge is power, you better believe that understanding that knowledge is even more power.

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Proverbs 3, 19, by understanding the Lord established the heavens. Proverbs 24, 3 tells us by understanding a house is established.

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Whether God is creating the universe or we're establishing our homes, understanding is necessary. It's not good enough to have a superficial knowledge of what it is to be a

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Christ honoring family. We need to understand it as best we can. But listen carefully to this next passage.

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Proverbs 28, 11 tells us, the rich man is wise in his own eyes, but the poor who has understanding sees through him.

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It's very easy in our day and age to believe that money is power. Billionaires are flying to space and appearing to be running the world, but here we see that having understanding is more powerful than being rich.

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In fact, we're told the poor man who has understanding can see through the rich man who is wise in his own eyes.

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This is a similar concept to Proverbs 25. It says a plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out.

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Understanding doesn't just help us better comprehend truth. It helps us reveal things in people that they perhaps didn't even know were there.

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It helps people understand things about themselves that they didn't previously know. Proverbs 25 is a powerful passage for anyone in a position of leadership or influence.

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A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out. That's powerful.

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And it's the huge power of understanding that makes it so that, C, understanding can save.

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Proverbs 28, 2 says, By the transgression of a land, many are its princes. But by a man of understanding, so it endures.

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And Proverbs 19, 8 reads, He who keeps understanding will find good. What is this good that understanding will help us find?

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Honestly, the more we understand about God, His Word, and ourselves, the better our chances will be that we won't fall into the destruction of sin.

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Listen closely to the following passages. Proverbs 1, 5, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel.

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Following wise counsel is very safe. Proverbs 11, 12, He who despises his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding keeps silent.

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Understanding can save us from the relational carnage of sinfully tearing people down with our words. This is very similar to Proverbs 17, 27,

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He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. And Proverbs 15, 21 tells us,

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Folly is a joy to him who lacks sense, but a man of understanding walks straight. If you want to avoid the pitfalls of life, share

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God's understanding of life. And consider Proverbs 16, 21 -22, The wise in heart will be called understanding, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.

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Understanding is a fountain of life to one who has it, but the discipline of fools is folly. Understanding is a fountain of life to one who has it.

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This is why letter D, understanding, is valuable. My friends, whatever benefits can be derived from accumulating knowledge pales in comparison to the joys of understanding.

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We can't allow the acquisition of knowledge to be the only goal for our children's schooling, and it better not be the extent of our children's interaction with the scriptures.

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Whether it will show up on a test or not, we need to strive to understand the knowledge God gives us.

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Consider this, Proverbs 3, 13, How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.

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Proverbs 14, 6, Knowledge is easy to one who has understanding. The better we understand, the easier it is to gain more knowledge.

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Proverbs 16, 16, Understanding is to be chosen above silver. In fact,

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Proverbs 23, 23 tells us, Buy truth and do not sell it. Get wisdom and instruction and understanding.

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Understanding is far more valuable than the money used to purchase it. And Proverbs 14, 33 says,

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Wisdom rests in the heart of one who has understanding. The better we understand, the easier it will be to use the information we have, which is the ultimate goal.

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The same truth is repeated in Proverbs 17, 24. Wisdom is in the presence of one who has understanding. Understanding is good when it agrees with God.

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Understanding is powerful. It can save us from all sorts of destruction, and it's valuable. So now let's talk about number two, the source of understanding.

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Proverbs 21, 30 reads, There is no wisdom and no understanding and no counsel against the Lord. There is no knowledge, understanding, or application of that knowledge and understanding that can ever be used against God because all true knowledge, wisdom, and understanding belong to God.

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Proverbs 8, 14 says, As counsel is mine and sound wisdom, I am understanding. Power is mine.

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These words were spoken by the proverbial woman of wisdom, but the metaphor in this passage is a personification of God's wisdom.

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God is the source of understanding. We will never find true understanding outside of Him. We parents must absolutely impress this reality on our kids.

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The world is impotent to help us understand the cure for racism. No earthly politician can give us a better understanding of government than God can.

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The world does not understand identity better than God who created us. Friendship, love, emotions, worship, parenting, shame, fear, anger—the world is completely impotent to help us understand these concepts correctly.

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Even our own sinful heart will misunderstand these realities better than it will understand them. And yes, if you check out today's transcript, you will find that we have biblical studies on each of the items

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I just mentioned, and many, many more. So be sure to check those out so you and your family can understand them the way

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God communicates them in His word. Do your kids really grasp the fact that true understanding of any subject can only be had as we look at it through the lens of the scriptures?

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If not, then you have your marching orders, because if our kids don't learn this truth and believe it, there will be consequences.

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3. The People Who Reject Understanding Proverbs 18 .2 says, A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind.

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The fool doesn't care to understand the truth about an issue. They're too busy leaning on their own understanding and trying to convince everyone else that their understanding is right.

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But they must be careful, because 4. There are consequences for rejecting understanding. Proverbs 10 .13

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A rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding. Proverbs 13 .15 Good understanding produces favor, but the way of the treacherous is hard.

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Proverbs 14 .29 He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick -tempered exalts folly.

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Proverbs 28 .16 A leader who is a great oppressor lacks understanding. Proverbs 21 .16

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A man who wanders from the way of understanding will rest in the assembly of the dead. Proverbs 10 .21

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Fools die for lack of understanding. If I don't understand how to safely use a firearm,

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I'm increasing my risk of injury and death. If your kids don't understand how to safely live this life in the will of God, they are greatly increasing their risk of spiritual injury and death.

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Therefore, we must seek 5. How to acquire understanding. And just like we learned last time, if we want to acquire understanding,

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A. we need to want understanding. Proverbs 7 .4 You are my sister, and call understanding your intimate friend.

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We want to spend time with our friends. We try hard to make new friends. We need to want understanding as much as we want to spend time with our dearest friend.

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Proverbs 10 .23 Doing wickedness is like sport to a fool, and so is wisdom to a man of understanding.

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I like the imagery here. For a man of understanding, using that understanding in a wise way is as enjoyable as playing a sport.

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Hopefully, you too can attest to the fact that being able to put our understanding into practice is so incredibly satisfying.

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But there are sports we don't like. They're the ones we're no good at. We need to help our kids fall in love with understanding, the knowledge they're learning, and they'll like it more.

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And that's going to take a lot of work, though. Letter B. We need to work for understanding. Proverbs 4 .5

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Acquire understanding. Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Proverbs 4 .7

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The beginning of wisdom is acquire wisdom, and with all your acquiring, get understanding.

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No matter what it takes, we've been commanded to acquire the understanding of God. Proverbs 4 .1 Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding.

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Proverbs 5 .1 My son, give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding.

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Proverbs 8 .1 Does not wisdom call, and understanding lift up her voice? I love all this imagery of inclining our ears and listening and paying attention.

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True attention takes work. It's an amazing idea to help your kids of all ages learn to pay attention.

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We've been told for far too long that children can't pay attention, and we're given all sorts of reasons why they're supposedly incapable of doing it.

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But children can and do pay attention all of the time. Sometimes they are so engrossed in what they want to do that they don't even hear you talking to them while you're in the same room.

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All children can pay attention. The problem is that they only want to pay attention to the things they believe are valuable.

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We need to teach our kids to choose to pay attention to good things, even if they don't yet appreciate how valuable they are.

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If we're going to wait until our kids value understanding before we expect them to pay attention to it, they will never value it and they'll never pay attention to it.

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The less that they have and the less that they focus on getting more, the easier it will be to ignore truth and understanding.

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We must teach our kids to incline their minds to learning, knowledge, and understanding. And that can start at any age by expecting them to give you attention as you interact with them.

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Teach your kids to look at you with their eyes. Teach them to stand or sit still when they listen.

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Teach them to put down the toy in their hand when they're being instructed. I know,

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I know this sounds so wrong because the world has taught us the exact opposite. Children can't pay attention. Don't make them sit still.

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Eye contact is uncomfortable. They'll pay attention better when they have a fidget spinner in their hands. My friends, the science and the experience is simply not there.

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The evidence is overwhelmingly on the side of having to do the hard work to parenting our kids to pay attention to the things that matter.

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And it is hard work for us and for them, but it must be done or our kids won't have knowledge and understanding.

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Listen again to Proverbs 2, 2 -11. And lastly, letter

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C. We need to embrace discipline. If your kids truly value understanding, they're going to engage with discipline.

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Discipline is the four -stage process of teaching, reproving, correcting, and training. But the word discipline is often used specifically for the reproving step.

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Reproof is the step where we have to inform our kids that they are wrong. They were believing a lie. They were leaning on their own understanding.

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They were interpreting the situation incorrectly. And because of that, they did wrong and often will receive the consequences of their sin.

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Well, a child who learns from these interactions will increase in understanding.

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Proverbs 15, 32, He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.

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Proverbs 17, 10, A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hunter blows into a fool.

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Proverbs 19, 25, Strike a scoffer and the naive may become shrewd, but reprove one who has understanding and he will gain knowledge.

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I know that your kids probably hate being reproved. They hate being told they're wrong. They hate receiving consequences for their sin.

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But there is hope to teach our kids how to value reproof because God commands us and our kids to value reproof.

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He illustrates the blessed rewards of those who value reproof. It is possible.

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We need to explain to our kids that reproof isn't bad. We need to teach them why it's helpful.

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We need to make sure we do the reproof step in truth and love. And slowly our kids, by God's grace, will,

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Lord willing, learn to appreciate reproof and learn to grow in their understanding as they are reproved.

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In closing, I want to read Proverbs 9, 1 -18. This is one of the couple of times in the Proverbs that Solomon personifies wisdom for us.

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Solomon describes her this way, Wisdom has built her house. She has hewn out her seven pillars.

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She has prepared her food. She has mixed her wine. She has also set her table. Wisdom is personified as having everything we need, security, sustenance, and satisfaction.

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She has it all. But she doesn't wait for us to find her. She's not hiding in the middle of a forest or high up in a mountain.

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She has sent out her maidens. She calls from the tops of the heights of the city. Wisdom is looking for our families.

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And as she cries, listen to her call. Whoever is naive, let him turn in here. To him who lacks understanding, she says, come eat of my food and drink of the wine

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I have mixed. She's targeting the people who need her most. But keep listening.

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She says, verse 6, forsake your folly and live and proceed in the way of understanding. She has everything we need.

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She's out looking for us. And she tells us exactly what we must do to have her. But the passage continues.

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He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself. And he who reproves a wicked man gets insults for himself.

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Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you. Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will still be wiser.

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Teach a righteous man, and he will increase his learning. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the

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Holy One is understanding. Here again we see the wise and foolish responses to her calling.

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Which one best describes your kids? If your children can best be compared to the fool or the scoffer,

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I highly recommend you listen to our Parenting a Zombie series. It was made just for people like you.

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And then wisdom explains the joys of following her, starting in verse 11. For by me your days will be multiplied, and years of life will be added to you.

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If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, and if you scoff, you alone will bear it. But here's the thing.

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Yes, wisdom is actually very easy to get. The knowledge and understanding of God are accessible and waiting for all of us.

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But wisdom is not the only one vying for our attention. Verse 13 says, The woman of folly is boisterous.

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She is naive and knows nothing. She sits at the doorway of her house, on a seat by the high places of the city, calling to those who pass by, who are making their path straight.

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In the same way that wisdom is seeking out those who need her most, folly is targeting the people who will be most hurt by embracing her.

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Listen to whom she is calling. Whoever is naive, let him turn in here. And to him who lacks understanding, she says, stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.

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Folly is targeting our kids. She's trying to seduce the naive and those who lack understanding.

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This is why we can't wait around for our kids to come around and start valuing understanding. They won't, and they'll have the devil, the world, and the flesh trying to convince them that their understanding is all they need.

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But listen to the consequences of the fools who buy what she's selling. Verse 18, But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Sheol.

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Sheol is an ancient term for the grave and often a word used to describe hell. If your family is going to learn the way

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God created, commands, and capacitates you to learn, knowledge isn't going to be enough.

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You must understand what you're learning, and you need to understand it the way God wants you to understand it. Please share this episode with your family and post it on your favorite social media outlets.

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And if you need help teaching your family the value of understanding, please email us at counselor at truthloverparent .com or call us at 828 -423 -0894.

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And I hope you'll join us next time as we once again open God's Word to discover how to parent our children for life and godliness.

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To that end, we'll be discussing part three of the circle of learning, your family's wisdom. Truth. Love.

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Parents. Is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional premeditated parent.

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Join us next time as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.