Personal Covenants (Part II) | Behold Your God Podcast

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Welcome to the Behold Your God podcast. I'm Matthew Robinson, and I'll be joined with my good friend and pastor,

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Dr. John Snyder, author of the Behold Your God study series and pastor of Christ Church New Albany in just a little while.

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As I mentioned at the end of last week's episode, we'd started to record a supporter appreciation podcast on the subject of personal covenants, dealing with a personal covenant that that John wrote back in the late 90s.

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It was so good, and I felt it was so good that I've asked if we could just use it as this week's podcast.

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So this is part two in personal covenants. Welcome back to our supporter appreciation podcast for the

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Behold Your God podcast. I'm Matthew Robinson, and I'm still here with Dr. John Snyder. We mentioned in our podcast this week personal covenants.

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There are others that we have access to from history, not just William Grimshaw, but two that I think of are

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Jonathan Edwards resolutions, which are famous and intense.

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Yeah, a little daunting. Yeah, as almost all Edwards can be. Yeah, I think the

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Bible could be a summary of his rather than the other way. So definitely look at those.

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Take a look at those if you're not familiar with them, Edwards resolutions. And then Robert Murray McShane did some resolutions, some personal covenanting as well.

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Yeah, so but instead of talking about those, I want to take a few minutes to ask

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John about a personal covenant that I know he made that led in many ways to the beginning of the church, which you know, indirectly led to the work that we've done together over the last seven years, which so this is kind of a ground zero turning point for you.

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The Lord had brought you to some sort of crises in your own life and it drove you to a season of really seeking

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His face. Yeah, and so tell us about that. Yeah, well, we've mentioned before that my family and I, we went to Wales in 1996 for me to work on the

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PhD on the 18th century, the influence of the Puritans on the first generation of the 18th century leaders in the

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Great Awakening there. So that included a lot of Welshmen. So we actually lived in the city of Cardiff and we went to a very, very helpful church there, the

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Heath Evangelical Church, which is still there and still a very faithful work and met many friends that are still our friends.

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But while I was there, I really spent all my time in a pile of books.

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So studying the 17th century Puritans, studying the 18th century evangelical revival leaders, but while I was doing that, before we arrived on Britain's shores,

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I realized that spiritually I had become very cold. I had been in seminary for the last year of my master's degree, was only sleeping about four or five hours a night.

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Misty and I had a little... We had one child and then Catherine came along right toward the end of that.

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So it was a pretty stressful time. No money, no sleep, and I didn't handle it.

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Well, my quiet times were becoming non -existent. Our marriage was pretty stressful.

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So when we went to the UK, I was really concerned. I did not want to go study the theme of revival and come back home after three years with as heart as cold as it was when

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I arrived. And so I just really made a kind of a commitment before the

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Lord that regardless of whether I got a PhD or not, I was going to meet with the

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Lord and walk with the Lord while we were in Britain. And so I remember one morning being at the school and it was an old kind of manor house.

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It was kind of quaint and you know for an American it was very romantic. So we're in this big old building and I would go out into the to the grounds early in the morning.

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First day we were there. First morning. And so I open up my Bible and I've got a meeting coming up with my academic advisor at say 10 in the morning.

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So I'm out there at about 730 with my Bible out in these kind of English looking gardens, you know and praying.

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And I'm so excited about being in the UK and I got to hurry up and get to work on my PhD because that's why

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I'm here. And and so I was sitting out in these gardens all by myself and I was reading the book of John and I started to read.

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And nothing was happening so to speak, you know what I mean? Like, you know, I'm just reading through the words and my mind is a thousand miles away.

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And so I say, okay, basically in my heart I say this, well God you're not helping here.

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And so I'm busy. I got stuff to do. I'm gonna go ahead and run back in and meet my academic advisor.

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So I close up my Bible and walk back to the school and in about halfway back to the school

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I thought, John you're doing it again. You know, you are running away from the

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Lord and you're getting busy for God. What use is that? So I stopped in my tracks and I said, okay

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God. And so I walked back out to the garden. I sat down. I said, I'm not leaving here. I'm not meeting that academic advisor.

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I'm not doing anything until my heart is right before you, until we do business together.

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And so I opened my Bible back up and immediately after I humbled myself the Lord, you know in such a wonderful way aided that quiet time and you know met with me and and so that really was the beginning of the three very happy years.

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But during those years reading the Puritans and 18th century men was not the most significant spiritual influence.

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Really the church was even better than that. But on top of all that I was reading through the Gospels. I wanted to get to know

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Christ better. So it took me three years to get through the Gospel of John. And there was a period toward the end for about six months where there was an increasing sense of weight on my heart.

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A concern about God's glory in my life. Looking at this the struggle in my own soul.

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The sluggish response to God. My lack of Christ -likeness. My coldness. And yearning to see

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God honored in me but also in the churches. Thinking about what God might have me do when we came back home.

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Now this during the six months it was just like this increasingly heavy weight where I couldn't avoid it.

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And so I started just getting up to go to the you know to the library to study and I would just do a detour.

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I would just take my backpack and my Bible and a notebook and I would just head off to the nearest park or the nearest patch of woods.

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There was a place called Forest Vower in Welsh. That's the great forest. And I would just walk out there.

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You weren't supposed to get off the path but being an American I didn't pay attention to that. So I jumped over the fence. I go off and I went to this lonely spot many times where nobody could hear me.

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I was just out in the woods and I was pleading with the Lord. And I remember some of those prayer times lasting two or three hours.

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I have not had many prayer times like that where you just lost sense of time. And it was so obvious that God was helping you wrestle with him.

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That God was giving you the prayers to pray. If you think of Jacob and the angel it was like God was saying to you lay your hand here.

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Grab hold of this. Now don't let me go. For my honor's sake don't let me go. And I was able to plead with the

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Lord in those times in such an unusual way. Really unlike anything

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I'd done before and rarely since. But that was 1998.

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And so those things were coming at the end of this process of just an increasing burden to see

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God glorified. Now in May of 1998 my family and I we came back home for a short visit.

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We didn't get to go home very often. So we were home. We went and visited my wife's family and then we were visiting my family in Ohio.

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And so while I was there this weight was just increasing.

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And I remember that there was a time that I had to go over to Wheaton, Illinois to visit

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Mr. Roberts because I needed to do some research in his library. He had a lot of good resources. So I wanted to use that time wisely.

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So I show up over there and I did research. And while I was there I talked to him about this increasing weight because I was afraid.

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All right this may sound strange to people. But I was very I was afraid of me. Before I was a

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Christian but I was in the ministry. So I was a lost self -deceived hypocrite who was preaching.

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I wanted to use God. I wanted to use the God of those biographies

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I had been reading or had been read to me as a child. I wanted to use that God to make

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John Snyder great. So I was afraid that this yearning in my heart to see

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God glorified. What if it was just that same old same whitewashed self -centeredness.

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So I remember sitting down with Mr. Roberts and just pouring out my heart to him and him giving me some very simple advice just a few sentences.

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But basically saying to me John this is not the enemy tempting you to use God to be great.

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It's the Lord. And so the only adequate response is to respond wholeheartedly to this.

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Give yourself to this and don't give God any rest until there is some conclusion to this process.

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So I was driving back home. It was about a six hour drive from where he lived to where my parents lived. So I was driving back home and three things happened that brought an end to this six month process and really led to a crisis.

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One of them was I was listening to the radio and this was public radio and I heard an announcement.

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The public radio news announcer was just ecstatic. Just so proud of a group of people in Texas I believe.

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And it was a church and I think it was a Congregationalist church. I forget which city. But here was the gist of it.

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Back in 1998 a group of homosexual high school students wanted to have their own prom because they didn't feel comfortable at the regular school prom.

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So they went to the principal and said we want to have a homosexual prom. And the principal said

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I'm wholeheartedly in support of your decision but if we do that in our community the heat that I would take we can't do it.

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So you can have it but you can't have it on school property. Interesting 20 years later to hear that kind of response.

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So the Congregationalist church heard about this and they said look we are an open loving embracing people and we think that Jesus would want us to have the homosexual prom at our church.

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And the the radio announcer was just so proud of them and I was so broken hearted that everyone that listened to that station was was being given a false view of Jesus's love.

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A love that just embraces whatever I want. Which really is would be a very cruel version of Christ.

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So I was bothered and so I you know I told you I was increasingly weighed down by the sense of you know this question is

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God not going to do more for His name? What about in our day? I mean I've been reading history but what about today?

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So I just drove back and prayed the whole way God are you not going to do something for your name?

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What about our country? On top of that a family member had just gotten pregnant and she was it was out of wedlock and she wasn't a

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Christian at the time. She thought she was and this God was very gracious and as He was with me in college being a fake.

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He was very gracious to this family member and led her to Christ eventually through the whole crisis of now

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I have a I have a daughter that I have to love and raise and I don't have a husband and what you know but my father was a pastor in a very small town in eastern

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Ohio and I knew I had just received word she just said to me look I'm about to tell mom and dad about this and so you know

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I'm just letting you know ahead of time it's about the bombs about to be dropped in the family. So another thing

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I would say to God God but here's a little town so here's the big radio dishonor done to Christ and here's a little town and the enemy will use this to mock

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Christ aren't you going to do anything for your name? Then the third thing happened and these were all very very close together.

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I called a friend in the states a very godly older lady who had been like a mom to Misty and me spiritually and so I called and said hey we're in the states just wanted to call and say hey you know this is before the cell phones and free you could you could not call for free from Britain.

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So I just had a conversation with her and I was rattling on about the great awakening and the puritans and I was just so excited and she interrupted me and she said

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John John that's fine but that was what 1700s that's 200 years ago

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John um I don't think God could ever do it again and it just crushed me because this was a very serious

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Christian and I thought why did you just say that to me? So I kind of hung up the phone and and so six months of an increased burden and extraordinary times of seeking the

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Lord fasting and praying and then these three things one after the next and I would say to the

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Lord when I hung up the phone with that dear Christian God even your own people are you going to do something for your name in your church?

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Well that week my dad had planned a family getaway all right so that everybody's going to go to a big theme park and of course

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I was required to go. Now I didn't always want to go on family getaways but we had two little children and our son was quite a handful at that time all right so this was like a five -year -old a four -year -old and the son in particular he was kind of like having a whole gang to watch after so my dad made it very clear like you're going because you're taking care of John David and like and my wife you're going because you're watching

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John David and like yeah I'm going but after these things we were all crammed into one house for a you know for a few weeks and I just needed some time alone with the

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Lord so I said to the family a very unpopular announcement I'm not going to the theme park with you guys okay

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I'm going I need to meet with the Lord and they all looked at me like yeah right you need to meet with the Lord you just don't want to take care of John David at the theme park so they were a bit grumpy with me but they you know they they allowed me to stay home when they left

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I got a notebook and my Bible and a pen and I went up into the attic of the house and I opened my

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Bible to Psalm 81 and I fully intended I had all day they would be gone all day

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I fully intended to have a day of fasting and prayer you know I intended that it was going to be one of those six or seven or eight hour kind of things where at the end maybe

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God maybe God would give me an answer to my question so I opened

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Psalm 81 and I was reading where God calls his people to him and there's like a court scene and he says to them you know he says to them you're not to have any foreign gods among you

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I the Lord am your God verse 10 he says I brought you out of the land of Egypt open your mouth wide and I will fill it but he says to them but my people would not listen to me and they filled up on their idols

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I would have given you the finest of wheat I would have given you honey but you filled up your lives with garbage and he gives a whole series of promises

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I would have if only you would have turned your empty hungry soul to me and I thought at that time that's me

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I am at the end of six months I am so hungry and I see the need for God's honor in me and in America so I just started to pray and it was one of those unique occasions you know really

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I don't know if I've ever had one like this since but certainly it would be very rare where it was very clear it was as if the

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Lord took that scripture and applied it to John Snyder in such a very personal way that it would not have been more real

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I would not have felt it was more suited to John Snyder if God had spoken it with an audible voice that this is for you for today this is all of this has been leading to this open your mouth and trust me well

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I had other things in my life I had other little idols that I loved I had other things that I thought would make me happy even as a

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Christian and so I really did come to a crisis God will you be everything you say you are and and by the grace of God I was able to say he will now that took about 40 minutes not four hours or eight hours and it was so clear that God had brought me to that passage and God had applied that passage and God had heard my prayer

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God I turn my mouth towards you now do something for your name's sake in my life and if you would through me it was so clear that he had answered that prayer with the affirmative that to continue to pray would have been an insult it would have been a it would have been a farce like well that was too quick you know maybe

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I should do eight hours of fasting and praying and it was God had already answered so I realized that to stay on my face any longer and plead anymore it was like saying it was as if pretending that God had not answered so I just thanked the

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Lord got a notebook and a pen and I I wrote down the words of what became uh really the only covenant

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I've ever written between the Lord and me and I don't want to read the covenant because it's too personal really and when

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I read this when I think about this and when I when I review this covenant periodically there are a couple of things that always rise up one is

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I am very encouraged to remember the kindnesses of the Lord which I feel that whole six -month period of of increasing weight that uh that awareness of God's dishonor being done uh even his own people saying uh you know revival stories or those are basically just hicks historic fiction they're not going to happen again um and God's answering my prayer from Psalm 81

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I feel that that really was what prepared me to be able to pastor in New Albany and for whatever the

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Lord has been able to do through my very imperfect service so when I when I review this

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I'm very encouraged second I'm very um I'm I'm motivated

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I think John look at those words you wrote in 1998 20 years ago now um take those seriously don't forget those but I would say also there's always a sense of shame um

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I one reason I would never read this out to anybody is because I have so distinctly failed and as we talked about in our podcast

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I don't think that that means God doesn't love me anymore and I'm not brokenhearted because I think oh now

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I don't get to be a Christian now God won't let me be a pastor uh God won't bless me none of that it's that I think he has been so perfectly faithful and I have been so unfaithful and when

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I read the covenant I almost want to burn it really because I just think I'm so ashamed of at my meager response to the flood of mercy that just rolls over me every morning and there is a response because I'm a believer

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I am a new I am a child of God and so there is a response but as with every believer you know we look at our lives and we think there's like this

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Niagara Falls of mercy and there's this tiny little spray you know they get shot back up my my response is so insignificant compared to his investment that you know you don't even really want to mention it but I will read the opening statement

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May 30th 1998 I wrote this here is a solemn covenant between the living

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God who condescends to keep his gracious covenant with redeemed sinners through our mediator

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Jesus Christ with God and John Snyder who has no right to make a covenant with his

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God except that it reflects those privileges and responsibilities for both parties as seen in the scriptures and who has no innate power to keep covenant with God but what is found in the sufficiency of the

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Lord Jesus and so I have tried to review uh the pages that follow and uh having done our podcast on personal covenants it's reminded me of that and so I intend to review it in coming days one thing that comes to mind um through the podcast that we just finished and through hearing that story again um

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I remember do you remember the prayer meeting that you and I attended in 2015 at Richard Owen Roberts house there was a conference that he was having there and we went up to it and and there were some of us gathered to pray and someone asked him uh someone was was burdened for revival and was genuinely troubled over the dishonor that you know comes upon the name of the

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Lord and as uh and those who take his name and in the world and I remember something that he said um you must not be afraid if you're going to pray that God will do a great work for his namesake you have to remember that God is more zealous for his namesake than you could ever be and you must not be afraid to say yes

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Lord when he tells you that you will be part of the means that he uses to bring about the answer to that prayer um you know you mentioned that there can be a just a human sinful desire for greatness and desire for recognition and a desire to you know take your place among the the greats in the you know the halls of Christian history and that kind of attitude must be you know recognized for what it is and when we say it out loud it's humiliating and we want to repent of it and say no

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I would never think of myself that way but um God works in the earth through his church and so when we are burdened for the

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Lord's glory it's not the enemy who has burdened us for Christ's glory and when we go to him uh burdened we we can't think that well he's busy you know running the world and he's forgotten about his glory and we're the ones who've remembered it and so we have to go to him and remind him of his glory and he's going to somehow turn to us and say

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I'm not worried about that why are you bothering me about that no he's infinitely more zealous and jealous for his glory in the earth than than we could ever be and so whatever we feel of that he feels that infinitely he is he is that infinitely more than we are in zeal and if we feel that then we can't we have to be willing to say yes

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Lord uh in whatever situation that he puts us in where we participate in the uh in the bringing about of the answer to that prayer and so I mean obviously

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I think about the the work of the church here that um is um and I don't know how to say this the right way but has been so significant in the lives of so many who have been a part of the work um you know don't want to over inflate or give the impression that we are you know self -congratulatory or something like that yeah but in the lives of the people who are here you know the membership will tell you that the

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Lord has used this work uh for glory in their lives and in the lives that touch their lives and and like leaven through the lump that that works its way out organically and then through the work that that we've been able to do you know through the

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Beholder God study and then that uh sort of spinning off into Mediagratie and the various projects that we're working on now so you know those are those are very real sort of personal applications that I that I take from the things that you bring up yeah

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I think you know I mean you and I talk about this a lot because every time the

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Lord opens up another opportunity for Mediagratie to do something and if I get to be invited to be a part of that aspect you know we generally have to have a cup of coffee together where you tell me that I'm not allowed to um you know go hide in the corner and I know you have to give yourself that same speech

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I mean we we are very small this is a very small church and Mediagratie is a very small thing and you and I are very insignificant small threads but we are threads by the by the work of a king we are threads that are being woven into a tapestry that the picture on the tapestry is the glory of the triune

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God and so we do have to say to ourselves we are we are nothing special but we have no right to say to the king uh we're nothing special so we're not going to we're just going to go hide in the corner until Jesus comes and rescues us from this rotten old world um that that would be a very arrogant response just as arrogant as coming to God saying

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God now that I'm a Christian I want you to make me great because I deserve to be great yeah put me in coach yeah

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I'm ready to do it yeah so both of those are arrogance so just come to him aware of who we are in him aware of the privilege of just waking up and being able to have a brain and a heart that we can turn toward him and say

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I'm yours and I set myself apart as a living sacrifice and then to be shocked by his magnificence that he would say to us okay so today's a podcast and we think no no no not not a not a podcast because we have to get on camera you know we have to talk to people we everyone will see how stupid we are and then you look at the king and you say yes lord okay today's a podcast and and we get to talk about you

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I remember when the behold your God the first behold your God study was presented and you and I were talking about it I thought even before that was presented the opportunity to speak on the radio at AFA it was it was just it was only because someone else quit last second somebody canceled yeah somebody canceled on them and they said well look we got nobody else

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John would you come and I and I thought no I I don't I'm just the pastor of a small church

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I don't do radio I would freeze and I almost said that and then immediately

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I felt so rebuked within my heart which I believe was from the Lord what right do you have to say

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I'm a servant but I'm like a union worker you know I only do this kind of service

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I don't do that service I'm not radio man I'm little tiny church pastor man well

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I'm not even good enough to be a small church pastor so I had to say to the king if you sent this phone call to me

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I have no right to say no so I'll go and I'm amazingly that was what the Lord used to give us an opportunity to do behold your

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God and then you an opportunity to to head a ministry called media gratia and for us to continue to work together and for you to begin to work what much more widely than just you know with me and so it is astonishing to see the ripple effect of God's work in us yeah yeah

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I just to remember I mean that's such a beautiful image and it's just true the the that we are threads in this great tapestry and you know sometimes when you look at the back of the tapestry we know that illustration you know if you look at the back of that throw rug in your in your living room or whatever uh it looks like a jumbled mess of and you don't know what that is but on that great day when we see the tapestry from God's side we will rejoice when we stand on that sea of glass and sing the song of Moses and of the lamb we will rejoice at how

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God wove threads together in his great providence for his glory and he will do it and you know brother it's just remembering that we were created for this what is the chief end of man it is to glorify

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God in whatever way he chooses and in the process to enjoy him now and forever yeah we're just doing what we were created to do that's a that's an amazing thought we the king's children certainly live a king's life well

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