Bereavement III: Trusting Through Grief | Behold Your God Podcast

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Welcome to another episode of the Behold Your God podcast. I'm Matthew Robinson, director of Media Gratia, and I'm here again at Christ Church New Albany with Dr.

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John Snyder, my co -host, who is the pastor of Christ Church New Albany and also the author and teacher and host of the

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Behold Your God study series by Media Gratia. John, it's good to be back. Yeah, it is.

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We are continuing our series on bereavement, which is how do people deal with the grief that comes from the loss of a loved one, and especially how do believers deal with that, because we don't grieve as those who have no hope, and yet we do grieve.

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We do deal with bereavement. And so, as we often do, we are going to letters and journals and biographies of men who have walked before us in this

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Christian life to see how they dealt with these things. And in this episode, we're going to be thinking about Hudson Taylor, the well -known missionary to China.

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But John, if someone's not familiar with Hudson Taylor, what would you, how would you introduce them?

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Well, Taylor really is, you know, one of our heroes for missions. Flowing out of some of the extraordinary work of the

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Lord and the churches in the UK in particular, also in the United States in the mid -19th century. We saw a whole, just really just a company of men and women devote themselves to taking the gospel around the world.

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Taylor is one of the more famous ones. His, I was reading his two -volume biography, and this is volume two of that.

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You can see that someone gave this to me when I was first, first came to Christ in college, and it's, it's

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I've read it through a number of times and it's fallen apart, but I don't want to replace it. Taylor's grandfather actually was converted in England while listening to John Wesley preach.

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And having joined the despised Methodists, so to speak, he was attacked by a group of guys on the way home.

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Some, they mobbed him and rubbed mud with glass, broken glass into his eyes to blind him.

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He wasn't blinded. He eventually recovered from that and was a very godly man. He raised, he, you know, married and had children, and Hudson Taylor's dad was part of that family and was influenced by that godly grandfather, and he was brought to the

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Lord. And then Hudson Taylor, raised by mom and dad who loved the Lord, and you can read that in their, in their, in their biography.

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It's just really a very encouraging pattern. And Taylor embraces Christ in his teenage years, and there are a number of unique elements about Taylor.

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One is the childlike trust, but a childlike trust that was really put to the test before he went to China.

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So you read about how he learns through prayer to God to depend upon God to supply his needs in England long before he goes to China, because he wanted to make sure that he could, that he could do that.

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And so those are some of the, you know, most encouraging stories when he's a young man doing that.

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Later he goes to China. Another unusual thing about is the, is the length of his work. It's, and he lives to a ripe old age, and he labors in China the entire time.

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Another interesting thing about his life is the interconnection between him and other people, and we're going to mention one of them today,

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George Mueller, who also, on those same lines of prayer and depending on the Lord, was used by God to raise up a number of orphanages.

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Even Charles Spurgeon sent money to help Hudson Taylor. One of the other unique things about his life is really not his life, but what followed, and that is

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Howard, his son, and Howard's wife. So Mr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor are the authors of the two -volume biography of Hudson Taylor, and it's not every godly person that gets a biography written about him, and it's not every biography that is as good as this.

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It's really a very complete, warm -hearted, helpful biography.

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So we want to look at him today because of the account of how he suffered and endured and trusted the

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Lord through the time of this bereavement. As we've mentioned in other podcasts on this topic, we know people who have lost loved ones, obviously, and sometimes the enemy comes alongside the believer after the initial shock in those initial days where the

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Lord just carries them, and as they have to settle back into life facing that loss, they hear the lie that they're not doing it right, because if they were doing it right, they wouldn't still cry themselves to sleep.

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They wouldn't still be sleepless, you know, and what kind of a Christian are you, you know?

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Look at what people think when they look at your life, and we both know, and Matt, you and your wife have passed through that, and we know other believers in this little congregation, and that lie could be a very paralyzing lie.

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So it's good to look at people that we admire as, you know, these are super Christians. Are they really?

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Look at how they pass through, and look at the beauty of the faithfulness of our God with these very frail believers.

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Yeah, you gave me the two -volume Hudson Taylor biography to read several years ago, and it is amazing really to just,

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I mean, the detailed nature of the biography, but as you said, it's a spiritual read.

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I mean, you're helped by it. It's not just, okay, now I understand, but to really trace the work of God through this man's life, and in him, and the growth of the soul.

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We're going to look at how God sustained Hudson Taylor during the loss of his first wife, and one child of theirs.

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To start with, we see God at work in Taylor's life before the loss comes.

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In 1869 to 1870, Hudson Taylor is somewhere around 37, 38 years old, and we see him beginning to think a great deal, and having this internal longing for a more consistent personal godliness, and he's learning to rest in Christ's sufficiency, and to really cast all of his longing, and all of his hope on Christ, and he records.

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We know all these things because he records these things in these journals that are then printed for us in these biographies, and he tells us about the various ways that that dependence expresses itself in his life, and after this period of what

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I think we could call a deeper appreciation of the fullness of Christ that was to be lived on by faith,

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Taylor's now faced with this loss that would really test his boasts in Christ.

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At the time, Taylor's children are in England, and Hudson and his wife,

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Mrs. Taylor, are in China, and she's pregnant, and on July the 7th, she gives birth to their fifth son.

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Let me read you what Taylor wrote looking back on that birth.

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He says, How graciously the Lord has dealt with me and mine. How tenderly did he bring my loved one through the hour of trial, the birth, and give us our lastborn,

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Noel, a son. And everything seemed to really be going well, until soon after the birth, they noticed that the outbreak of cholera in the region had indeed impacted his wife, and she had contracted the disease, and Mrs.

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Taylor was unable to feed the baby, all right, so there are no, you know, there's no baby formula available.

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They're in China, so they begin to look for a wet nurse who could come and feed the baby, and they cannot find anyone.

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Finally, after a week, they find a Chinese lady who can come and feed the baby, but by the time she gets there, the son has died of malnutrition.

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And again, because of this two -volume biography, we're given a window into this unimaginably, terribly painful period in Hudson Taylor's life, and we get to see how he deals with these things.

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He wrote at this time, Though excessively prostrate in body,

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Mr. Taylor wrote, the deep peace of soul, the realization of the

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Lord's own presence, and the joy in His holy will with which she was filled, and in which

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I was permitted to share, I can find no words to describe. Now, that is a,

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I will say, that is a common thing that you hear in the testimony of believers, that it seems like in that initial period where the wave of grief is so immediate and strong, that there is a genuine sense often of the

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Lord's own presence and sustaining, and an ability to say,

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Lord, your will is right and good. And it's amazing to read that there. Now, at the time of the birth,

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Mrs. Taylor, she's about five or six years younger than Hudson, and she's only 33 years old.

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And they noticed that she was tired, really tired. And so, it wasn't just normal tiredness from having given birth, but they really had no idea how perilous her situation was.

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And so, Matt, why don't you read Hudson Taylor's account of his wife's unexpected decline and death?

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Yeah, let me read to you from the second volume, The Growth of a Work of God, from the chapter,

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Jesus Does Satisfy. As soon as I was sufficiently composed,

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I said, my darling, do you know that you are dying? Dying, she replied, do you think so?

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What makes you think so? I said, I can see it, darling. Your strength is giving way.

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Can it be so? I feel no pain, only weariness. Yes, you are going home.

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You will soon be with Jesus. My precious wife thought of my being left alone at a time of so much trial, with no companion like herself, with whom

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I had been wont to bring every difficulty to the throne of grace. I am so sorry, she said, and paused as if half correcting herself for the feeling.

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You are not sorry to go to be with Jesus. Never shall

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I forget the look with which she answered. Oh no, it is not that. You know, darling, that for ten years past there has not been a cloud between me and my

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Savior. I cannot be sorry to go to Him, but it does grieve me to leave you alone at such a time.

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Yet, He will be with you and meet all your need.

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One of the ladies that was helping the nurse, the mom, so the child has died, and Mrs.

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Taylor is very sick now, was a lady named Mrs. Duncan. And she writes about the scene later.

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Let me read you what she writes. She wrote, I never witnessed such a scene.

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As dear Mrs. Taylor was breathing her last, Mr. Taylor knelt down, his heart so full, and committed her to the

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Lord, thanking God for having given her, and for the twelve and a half years of happiness they had had together, thanking

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Him too for taking her to His own blessed presence, and solemnly dedicating himself anew to God's service.

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So quite a testimony of God's faithfulness there. Matt, we mentioned early on that Hudson Taylor had written in the previous year, over and over, lessons he was learning, not just the striving aspect of holiness, but how a man lives on the fullness of Christ.

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And you know, when we read those kind of things in a previous chapter, and then you read this chapter, the question comes to our mind, and it comes to the biographer's mind, will those boasts in Christ really hold?

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You know, when Christ says, he who drinks and keeps drinking of me will not be thirsty. Well, will that be proven true in Hudson Taylor's life?

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Can you read us that section there? Yeah, his biographer asked the same question. And so here's the next chapter, shall never thirst.

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My thirsty days are all past, Hudson Taylor had felt, and said, and written that very summer.

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Rejoicing as never before in the Savior's promise, he that cometh to me shall never hunger, and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.

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Would it prove true now, now that the joy of life on its human side was gone, and there was nothing left but aching loneliness and silence?

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Would it prove now when under the pressure of continued difficulty on every hand, health began to give way, and sleepless at night, he found himself scarcely able to face the suffering, not to speak of the labors of each new day?

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If ever the reality of the power of Christ to meet the heart's deepest need was put to test of experience, it was in this life, swept clean of all that had been its earthly comfort, wife, children, home, health to a large extent, and left amid the responsibilities of such a mission and such a crisis far away in China.

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We want to read something that he wrote to his mother. In fact, we're going to contrast two statements.

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One statement written right after the birth of the child, before they realized that things were wrong with mom.

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And then one written three weeks after the death of the son and the mom.

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Hudson Taylor writes to his own mother back in England and says this, before the awareness of any sickness, everything seems to be going well.

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And he writes, I find increasing comfort in the thought that all things are really in our father's hand and under his governance.

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He cannot but do what is best. Three weeks later, after the death of mom and son, he writes his mother again.

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And he says this, I have just been reading over my last letter to you, and my views are not changed, though chastened and deepened.

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From my inmost soul, I delight in the knowledge that God does or deliberately permits all things and causes all things to work together for good to those who love him.

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He, and he only, knew what my dear wife was to me. He knew how the light of my eyes and the joy of my heart were in her.

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On the last day of her life, we had no idea that it would prove the last. Our hearts were mutually delighted by the never old story of each other's love, as they were every day nearly.

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And almost her last act was with one arm around my neck to place her hand upon my head, and as I believe, for her lips had lost their cunning, to implore a blessing on me.

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But he saw that it was good to take her, good indeed for her, and in his love he took her painlessly, and not less good for me, who must henceforth toil and suffer alone, yet not alone.

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For God is nearer to me than ever, and now I have to tell him all my sorrows and difficulties as I used to tell dear

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Maria. And as she cannot join me in intercession, to rest in the knowledge of Jesus' intercession, to walk a little less by feeling, a little less by sight, a little more by faith.

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And then to one of his closest friends, Hudson writes this, And now, dear brother, what shall

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I say of the Lord's dealings with me and mine? I know not. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude and praise.

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My eyes flow with tears of mingled joy and sorrow. When I think of my loss, my heart, nigh to breaking, rises in thankfulness to him who has spared her such sorrow and made her so unspeakably happy.

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My tears are more tears of joy than of grief, but most of all,

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I joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, in his works, his ways, his providence in himself.

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He is giving me to prove or to know by trial what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

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I do rejoice in that will. It is acceptable to me. It is perfect.

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It is love in action. And soon in that same sweet will, we shall be reunited to part no more.

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Father, I will that they also whom thou has given me be with me where I am.

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Quoting there the Lord Jesus. It might be that reading these quotes, if we stopped here, you would think that the grace of God was such in Hudson Taylor's life that he just, you know, he lived above that loss.

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And he doesn't. There are times in his journals where the sorrow just flows over the walls and it just seems to almost drown him.

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And he writes about that. Listen to what he says here. How lonesome, he recalled, were the weary hours when confined to my room.

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You remember, he was sick after his wife died. And so not only has he lost everything, but he's sick.

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He can't sleep at night and he's having to face these losses in that situation. How I missed my dear wife and the little pattering footsteps of the children far away in England.

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Then it was that I understood why the Lord had made that passage so real to me. Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst.

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Twenty times a day, perhaps, as I felt the heart thirst coming, I cried to him,

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Lord, you promised, you promised me that I should never thirst. And whether I called by day or night, how quickly he always came and satisfied my sorrowing heart.

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So much so that I often wondered whether it were possible that my loved one, who had been taken, could be enjoying more of his presence than I was in my lonely chamber.

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Well, of course, Hudson Taylor went on, sustained by God to labor the rest of his life in China.

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Eventually, he even remarries. But we want to give you in closing some excerpts from three different letters that he wrote in the year following those great losses.

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The first excerpt comes from a letter that went to his children, whom he missed greatly.

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They were in England. They'd been sent away for a while for their own health. And so they got news of their mother's death and their father's loneliness by way of letter.

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He often did write to them. And here's one of those letters or an excerpt from it.

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He begins, My darling treasures, it is not very long since my last letter, but I want to write again.

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I wonder if you will try to write me a little answer. I've been thinking tonight. If Jesus makes me so happy by always keeping near me and talking to me every minute or two, though I cannot see him, how happy darling mama must be.

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I'm so glad for her to be with him. I shall be so glad to go to her when

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Jesus thinks that it is best. But I hope he will help me to be equally willing to live with him here.

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So long as he has any work for me to do for him and for poor China. Now, my darling children,

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I want you to love Jesus very much and to know that he really does love you very much.

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Don't you think your far off dear papa would be very pleased to see you and to talk to you and to take you on his knee and to kiss you?

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You know he would. Well, Jesus will always be far more pleased when you think of him with loving thoughts and speak to him with loving words.

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Don't think of him as some dreadful being. Think of him as very good and very great.

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Able to do everything, but as gentle and very kind.

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He likes us to talk to him. When I'm walking alone, I often talk aloud to him.

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At other times, I talk to him in my heart. Do not forget, my darling children, that he is always with you, awake or asleep, at home or elsewhere.

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He is really with you, though you cannot see him. So I hope you will try not to grieve so constant and kind of him.

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Another excerpt we have is from a letter that he wrote toward the end of that year. So, you know, about four months after the loss.

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And he writes this to a fellow missionary. I trust we are fully satisfied that we are

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God's servants sent by him to the various posts we occupy and that we are doing his work in them.

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He set before us the open doors into which we have entered, and in past times of excitement, he has preserved us in them.

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We did not come to China because missionary work here was either safe or easy, but because he had called us.

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We do not enter upon our present positions under a guarantee of human protection, but relying on the promise of his presence.

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The accidents of ease or difficulty, of apparent safety or danger, of man's approbation or disapproval in no wise affect our duty.

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Should circumstances arise involving us in what may seem special danger,

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I trust we shall have grace to manifest the reality and depth of our trust in him.

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And by our faithfulness to our charge, prove that we are followers of the good shepherd who did not flee from death himself.

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But if we would manifest this calmness then in that situation, he says, we must seek the needed grace now.

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It is too late to look for arms and begin to drill when in the presence of the foe.

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And then the final one to his friend and his supporter, the famous George Mueller of Bristol, England, founder of the orphanage there in Bristol and preacher of the gospel.

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Mueller had just lost his wife a number of months after Hudson had lost his.

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And so Taylor writes to Mueller these words. You do know, beloved brother, what the cup is that I am daily called to drink.

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Yes, many times every day. You know that it does not become less bitter, nor is the lack of help less felt as days run on into weeks and weeks into month.

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And you know, too, how his grace can make one glad to have such a cup from his hand or any other cup he may be pleased to give.

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Yet the flesh is weak and your sympathy and prayers I do prize and thank you for.

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They tell me of him who, when the poor and needy seek water and there is none, no, not one drop, opens rivers and high places and fountains in the midst of valleys.

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Well, after all of this and nearly a year later, after all those boasts in the fullness of Christ and especially that passage that he mentions over and over coming to Christ and drinking and never thirsting again.

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Taylor writes this. Do not let us change the Savior's words. It is not whosoever has drunk, but whosoever drinketh.

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It is not of one isolated draught that he speaks or even of many, but of the continuous habit of the soul.

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Thus in John 6, 35, the full meaning is, he who is habitually coming to me shall by no means hunger and he who is believing on me shall by no means thirst.

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The habit of coming in faith to him is incompatible with unmet hunger and thirst.

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It seems to me, he had written to a friend at that time. It seems to me that where many of us err is in leaving our drinking in the past while our thirst continues present.

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What we need is to be drinking. Yes, thankful for the occasion which drives us to drink ever more deeply of the living water.

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Now that the Puritan film is out and shipping after two years of working together with Reformation Heritage Books and Puritan Reform Theological Seminary, we're here in Tupelo, Mississippi, where we've gathered some friends and family together just to screen the film as a way to celebrate.

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A recently married couple, Jade and Lamar, came out to see the film and this is what they had to say.

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Tomorrow morning, what I'm going to remember is their love of God, I guess their full orb of theology as far as how

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God encompasses every aspect inside of their life. It wasn't just, you know, like they spoke about their tiring minds, but their tiring minds came down to the practical level of everyday life.

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And so it wasn't just intellectual theology. It was very practical as well. For me, I actually enjoyed the part when

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John Piper was talking about how they, their shortcomings.

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I love that part because what it showed was, because in the beginning I was like, well, these men are on a whole nother level that I'm not on.

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But when that part was brought up, it reminded me that they were humans and that we all need the help of the Holy Spirit to help us as we move from glory to glory in Christ Jesus.

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And so that was the part that stood out to me is coming to Christ, coming to the foot of the cross and asking,

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Lord, help me. For more information about Puritan, all of life to the glory of God, visit themeansofgrace .org.

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Well, we know that we're not studying this as just some scholarly subject that exists out there in the ether somewhere.

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And it's good to go put your head in it for a little while, and then you can pop back out and think about something else.

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But for many, this is an ongoing reality of living with bereavement and trying to live in a way that is honoring to the

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Lord and trying to survive. And so I think that that final word that we just read there, that the full meaning of that text, he who is habitually coming to me shall by no means hunger, and he who is believing on me shall never thirst, is so important for us to understand and so important for us to have hope and live.

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That is the Christian life. We want to commend to you again the two -volume

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Hudson Taylor set, which you can find in our show notes at mediagratia .org or themeansofgrace .org,

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as well as some other resources that we can commend to you there. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you again next week.

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