Should You Always Comfort A Crying Baby?

The Bible Bashed Podcast

Subscribe

Download

Share

00

00:00

Warning, the following message may be offensive to some audiences. These audiences may include, but are not limited to, professing Christians who never read their

00:05

Bible, sissies, sodomites, men with man buns, those who approve of men with man buns, man bun enablers, white knights for men with man buns, homemakers who have finished

00:10

Netflix but don't know how to meal plan, and people who refer to their pets as fur babies. Viewer discretion is advised. People are tired of hearing nothing but doom and despair on the radio.

00:25

The message of Christianity is that salvation is found in Christ alone, and any who reject

00:31

Christ therefore forfeit any hope of salvation, any hope of heaven.

00:38

The issue is that humanity is in sin, and the wrath of almighty

00:43

God is hanging over our heads. They will hear his words, they will not act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment, when the fires of wrath come, they will be consumed, and they will perish.

00:58

God wrapped himself in flesh, condescended, and became a man, died on the cross for sin, was resurrected on the third day, has ascended to the right hand of the

01:11

Father, where he sits now to make intercession for us. Jesus is saying there is a group of people who will hear his words, they will act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment come in that final day, their house will stand.

01:27

Welcome to Bible Bash, where we aim to equip the saints for the works of ministry by answering the questions you're not allowed to ask.

01:33

We're your hosts, Harrison Kerrig and Pastor Tim Mullett, and today we'll seek to answer the age -old question, should you always comfort a crying baby?

01:42

Tim, this is definitely one that I myself have had to really wrestle through the answer over the last,

01:50

I guess, two years or so, because that's when I had my first daughter.

01:58

She just turned two right at the end of last year, and there's definitely, it's obviously a big life change in a lot of different ways, and it can be pretty chaotic, especially if you and your wife are not on the same page.

02:18

That wasn't necessarily the case with my wife and I, but then I know that that is a pretty common thing to not really have talked through a lot of what it means to actually, your family to be more than just you and your spouse anymore.

02:33

This is a male -female fight that normally goes on in most marriages, and considering that we're men, we're uniquely qualified to speak to this issue.

02:47

We're uniquely gifted to give our specific insight, and so you need to listen to it and respect it.

02:57

I say that, but most people would dismiss us completely. Oh, you're a man.

03:03

You don't know the first thing about taking care of a baby, right? But the reality is it is a pretty big point of contention for a lot of couples, especially because, honestly, in a lot of ways, it is really hard to anticipate all of the ways your life is going to change when you have your first child.

03:25

Now, when you have the second and the third one, I guess I can't speak to the third one from personal experience, but I've at least had a second one, and it feels like it gets a lot easier because you've already been through the process in a lot of ways, and a lot of the decisions were hopefully made with the first baby, so with the second one, ideally, it should be a lot easier, at least in terms of communicating with your spouse on it.

03:54

But then one of the issues that a lot of married couples run into when it comes to having children is this idea of,

04:05

I mean, here's the reality. The baby's going to cry, and the baby's going to cry a lot because the baby can't communicate in any other way besides crying, especially newborns.

04:17

They don't have any other way of communicating, and so they just cry for everything all the time.

04:23

And it's not like our crying. It's like a…

04:29

Ear -splitting, banshee scream. Ear -splitting, yeah. It is sometimes likened to a banshee scream.

04:36

And babies crying is kind of this thing that it seems like our society frowns upon.

04:47

So if you're out in public and your baby starts crying, the temptation is to immediately think, oh, everyone's like, number one, everyone is now inconvenienced by my baby who is crying.

05:00

And number two, they think I'm a bad parent because my baby's crying. And so I need to respond knowing that now

05:09

I have inconvenienced everyone and they think I'm a terrible parent because my baby's crying in public.

05:15

That's a common thought that a lot of people have, and they feel like, oh, I've got to do whatever it takes to get this baby to shut up because everyone's looking at me.

05:27

So all that being said, it's this big point of contention. There are very real decisions that have to be made in terms of how do we actually respond to our baby when they cry.

05:41

And I know you ran a Twitter poll on this, and you asking this question, basically, what should you do, right?

05:51

So tell us a little bit about what the responses were with that poll and what some of the answers we got were.

05:58

Yeah, well, I think a lot of our audience is male, so I think the poll or our followers are male.

06:07

So I think the poll kind of ran its course somewhat along gender lines, but not really.

06:13

I mean, I think you got more, it's okay to strategically let your baby cry than not.

06:22

The responses on that, but then the ones that were not were pretty – they were what you can imagine in terms of they were pretty unreasonable kind of responses in general.

06:35

Meaning there is a type of – mostly it's a type of lady. There's a type of lady who has basically made it her goal, her mission that you always comfort a crying baby.

06:49

And most women are not absolutely consistent with that as a rule because it really does get pretty unwieldy really quickly if you have a rule that you always comfort a crying baby.

07:03

Most women are blessedly not perfectly consistent on that, but if they try, they will drive everyone crazy in the household.

07:12

Like themselves, they'll drive themselves crazy. They'll be at their husband's throat, and their husband will be at their throat.

07:19

And then the baby is just kind of – you can kind of turn a baby into a clingy kind of monster at that point where there's no brakes on this thing at all.

07:30

And then not only that, I mean, your house just can go to – basically you could be eating fast food for the first couple of years every time you – because you make it this demand that I always have to comfort a crying baby, and life happens.

07:47

Yeah. So as far as that goes though, I think there is a type of – mostly that's kind of a lady response to go there with it and to clamp down with an iron knuckle grip.

07:58

And then if you push back on it at all, there's kind of like this you're literally abusive parent kind of thing.

08:05

Naturally, yeah, of course. You just hate – you're just an incompetent man who – but mostly what's happening though in most relationships is that the man – because men are geared to be tough, courageous and tough, and they don't have quite the level of sensitivity as a woman.

08:25

That's a little bit of an understatement. What's normally happening is the man is wanting the baby to kind of grow up and have the thick of a – the skin of a rhinoceros at two months old kind of thing.

08:38

So he's trying to mold that baby into a rock of unyielding granite. And then what's happening on the other end is lady sees baby and baby is crying because lady is compassionate.

08:53

Lady – typically women much more struggle. They can't turn it out as well as men.

08:59

Yeah, and I think they're a lot more tempted to get frazzled. Get frazzled.

09:05

They can't tune it out. They get frazzled. But then they just – they're made to be nurturing and caring, and I think there's just this sense in which baby is crying.

09:13

You need to fix it. You need to nurture the thing. And this can get pretty extreme to where your babies are sleeping in your bed with you and your husband in between you two for years of your life because the mom doesn't know how to say no to the baby.

09:34

So you can get kind of – if the mom's compassion and sensitivity, if there's no check on it, you can imagine how we got where we were in COVID because you had feminine impulse of sensitivity and compassion with no check.

09:53

And then on the other end of it, you have the man. If he's left to his own end, he's going to turn his babies into Spartans who are fully capable of sword combat by the age of six months.

10:06

That would be – honestly, that would be impressive at six months. That would be pretty scary.

10:12

Who have basically successfully tamed all of their emotions by then at that point.

10:18

But it's just – I think what you need is you need both shock, scandal, and awe.

10:27

You do need both sexes here to – they're both pushing in different directions and you need both of those kind of impulses in order to really have a health – like a good parenting strategy.

10:40

If you only have the mom input, it's going to go a certain way. If you only have the dad input, it's going to go another way. You really do need both in order to do this well.

10:47

In order to handle crying babies, you need both men and women impulses on that or else you're just going to – you're going to go in one of two ditches basically.

10:58

Most people can't handle hearing that you need the dad impulse because despite the fact that we've overturned the patriarchy, most people still think that infants are the province of women, which they are.

11:11

But then the thing is you just need both impulses in order to do it well. The title question is should you always comfort a crying baby?

11:20

What is your response specifically to that question? Yes or no?

11:26

No. No? Okay. I mean it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. It sounds pretty exhausting.

11:36

I mean it's literally – there's no way to do it, man. I mean some babies are really easy and you may be able to pull it off, okay?

11:45

Yeah. But some babies are real hard and if you try to do that plan, you're going to make everyone miserable, yourself, the baby, your husband.

11:55

There are inconsolable clingy babies out there who will make your life miserable. I mean there are moms who try to do this kind of thing and basically they're eating out for a year.

12:08

They haven't bathed in months because the baby – they can't ever get the baby to stop crying.

12:14

But you have to have some place to say, hey, I have to clean my house. I have other kids to feed, right?

12:21

I can't just order fast food every meal, right? Right. I have other kids to feed so I'm going to have to –

12:27

Your other kids are going to turn into fat little chicken McNuggets. Right. And that's where a baby is –

12:36

I brought up the concept of no, you shouldn't – or should you strategically let a baby cry?

12:44

Yes, child -centered home equals bad is kind of what I said. But I had people on there basically saying that there's no such thing as a child -centered home.

12:54

That's just an abusive term that people use to subhuman – to turn the babies into – or to dehumanize their babies or whatever.

13:02

And it's just like, no, I mean you have to have some category for it. A child -centered home is a real category that you have to acknowledge actually exists.

13:10

Meaning, let's say you have three kids and the other kids have to eat and the baby is crying. What are you going to do?

13:16

Do you accept upon yourself this moral obligation that whenever the baby is crying you have to figure out what to do or are you going to feed the rest of your family, right?

13:25

And so sometimes love for your family means that you have to say no to baby. And I'm sorry, it's just the way it works.

13:33

So I think when babies – You've got to let that sucker cry, huh? I mean, it's either that or you better be made of money because you're going to be eating out every meal and everyone's going to get fat.

13:46

So the thing is there's more commands that God has given us than one. And what's happening here is that this one command is taking over life, right?

13:55

And I think there's certainly a place for the baby crying taking over, like taking a very big place.

14:02

I mean, particularly before they're sturdy, you know? Like in the first few months when they're –

14:08

But I mean, honestly, during the early months they just sleep all the time anyways.

14:16

They do. They sleep a lot. They sleep all the time, they don't move, they don't do hardly anything. I mean, it feels like you're constantly doing stuff because every couple hours you're feeding them for 30 minutes or something.

14:28

But then for the other hour and a half they're sleeping. That's the way it typically works. But I mean, so when they're young like that, yeah,

14:35

I think you need – Everything can be put on hold, everyone can wait for your 30 minutes until the baby passes out again.

14:42

Whatever, fine. Everyone can – Life can revolve more around baby for a little bit.

14:48

But once they get sturdy, once they're sitting up, once they're starting to get mobile, once they can hold their head up without doing all this stuff, you know, the bobblehead stuff.

14:55

At a certain point it's just like you're going to have to be okay. You're changed, you're fed, right? You're changed, you're fed, you're not sick.

15:04

And I got to take a shower, okay? I haven't taken a shower in three days. I have to take a shower. You're changed, you're fed, you're not sick, right?

15:12

You're not hurt. You're not hurt. You're going to have to be okay because I have to cook your brother and sister food because I can't keep on buying

15:19

McDonald's every meal. So you're going to have to be okay. You're going to have to be fine.

15:25

Unless you just have no standard of homemaking whatsoever that you're shooting for and basically you've chucked everything that it means to be a homemaker, you've reduced it to basically a baby comforter.

15:40

There are other things in life that you have to take care of. So baby's going to have to learn to be okay sometimes for sure.

15:47

So if the baby starts crying and you leave the baby, are you a failure as a parent?

15:54

If you let them cry? This is assuming they're not hurt. They're nothing like that.

16:01

They're just crying because they're a baby. Are you a failure? A lot of moms feel like that.

16:07

No, I mean I'm asking it kind of, you know. I'm obviously making a bit of a joke out of the question, but the reality is a lot of people feel that way.

16:17

I think there's even pressure from just society in general.

16:25

There's an expectation that you almost kind of feel like you are a failure if your baby cries, especially if you're in public.

16:31

Yeah, yeah. All right, so I mean I think you're, depending on what we're talking about, I think the first few months of baby's life, they require a lot more attention and time.

16:46

It's just real sporadic, right? Yeah, it's just real sporadic, but I think the more sturdy they get,

16:54

I think around six months to eight months, right around that age range, you should be able to tell the difference between different types of cries, right?

17:06

At that point, the baby should be able to not have to be constantly attached to your person every single moment in order to be okay.

17:17

And if you're allowing that, you're doing the baby a little bit of a disservice. And so I think what people hear is if the baby's crying, their mind instantaneously goes to the idea of just let the baby cry, like cry it out kind of thing, right?

17:35

So what you're saying is just let the baby cry for three hours in a row because you want to be on your phone or something like that, right?

17:43

And I would say if that's why you're letting the baby cry for three hours so that you can be on your phone, then yeah, you're a bad parent, okay?

17:50

You're a bad parent, yes, and you failed. Yeah, sure. So the point of what we're talking about is not letting the baby cry just so you can be selfish, right?

18:02

Not neglecting them. Yeah, so that's not what we're talking about. But I mean, there are things you're called to do besides comfort a baby.

18:09

And the more that they move beyond newborn phase, you are having to transition away from, you get all of the attention in the home to now you're going to have to take a more reasonable spot of attention here, right?

18:29

And then by the time you're one years old or whatever, it's like you got to exercise a little more independence than you did when you were two weeks old here.

18:40

So the issue though is that, yes, I think if you're just ignoring your baby, men do this more than women, but if a man is in charge of the baby and he'll have something he wants to do, whether looking at his phone or TV or whatever, some game or whatever, and the wife is asking him to watch the baby and he tries to comfort him for 30 seconds in a rushed way.

19:09

It's like, oh, not working, right? Just put him on the ground and just let him scream or put him in the crib and let him scream so that he can get back to the other thing.

19:15

I think that's just being a bad parent. I think you make a real effort to try to comfort the baby, but then you have other things that you have to do.

19:26

So I think you have to be able to make distinctions between letting a baby cry for 15 minutes while you make lunch for the family, letting the baby cry for 15 minutes so you can take a shower kind of thing, and then you check on them to make sure they're okay.

19:45

Mommy loves you. Daddy loves you. You're going to have to be okay for a few minutes. Rub their head. All right, we have other things we have to do.

19:54

And then I think there's strategic times where you just practically, if you're going to do everything

19:59

God's called you to do without hiring a live -in nanny or a maid or something like that, the baby's going to have to be okay for 15 minutes at a time.

20:10

There are times where babies are just completely inconsolable and they're screaming at you.

20:18

You're trying to get them to be comforted. There's nothing you're doing that's working. They're grabbing your skin and hitting you and mad.

20:26

At a certain point, I think both men and women need to, if you're starting to get frustrated, go put the baby down.

20:34

Put the baby down. Shut the door. Take a deep breath. Go pray for a few minutes.

20:40

Come back and try again in another 15 minutes. Everyone has to have some sort of category for letting the baby cry for a few minutes and trying again.

20:49

If they're just completely inconsolable, that may be your routine for a little bit. It feels like you've got some kind of distinction in your mind between basically a newborn all the way up to, give or take, six months or something like that.

21:11

Maybe that's not where you want to put the distinction exactly. It seems like you're making a distinction between that newborn -infant -baby stage and then the more grown -up -baby stage, like six months to a year, maybe, where you're treating the crying of those two types of babies differently.

21:41

That's just the impression I'm getting listening to you. Is that the case?

21:49

Are you saying, hey, when they're a newborn, when they're a baby, you go to them when they're crying, but then that's different when they're able to move around on their own and prop themselves up and whatnot?

22:05

Is that what you're saying? Or are you saying, no, actually you treat them the same way, it's just infant babies are more sporadic because they need to eat every two hours and they eat for maybe 15 minutes at the very least and 30 minutes at the most.

22:31

What exactly are you saying there? Are there two categories where you do treat them differently or are they only treated differently in terms of the frequency at which they need certain things?

22:43

Obviously, a little baby comes out of the mother's womb very dependent and unable to do anything for itself whatsoever.

22:52

It just sits there. It can't even hold its neck up. If you were to take a little one -month -old baby and put it on its stomach and its face is buried into the sheet or something, it's not going to be able to move.

23:10

The baby would probably die. What you're talking about, you're talking about something very helpless at that point.

23:19

At a certain point, obviously by the time they're three years old or two years old, by the time they're two years old, if you're still carrying them around like a little carrying sack or whatever, everywhere you go.

23:35

You're letting them down as a parent. You've let them down. Obviously, they're transitioning from completely helpless to they go through the different stages where they can crawl and they can move and they can walk.

23:53

All of our kids now basically are, most of our kids right now, we have five, they're almost all self -sufficient in certain ways.

24:07

They can open the refrigerator up and grab their drink bottle and things like that. Now, we're not like baby bottle bottle, but you know what

24:14

I'm saying? Most of them, they can all use the bathroom themselves.

24:24

To care for their basic needs at this point. We're at that point in parenting.

24:30

The issue then is just how quickly are you going from a completely helpless little baby into a, you got to be okay for a little bit kind of thing.

24:43

Does that make sense? I think with a newborn, I think the mom's impulses are going to be just off the charts, nurture, baby's crying, figure out what's wrong.

24:57

A lot of times, it's hard to know at first. It's a lot more confusing. It's kind of like trial and error and then you hope something works.

25:06

Now, once you have a few, you get it down to where it's not nearly as mysterious anymore. What's going on?

25:13

Even when they're younger. What I'm basically trying to say though is that when they're really helpless and really young like that and they're screaming and they don't have a lot of impulse control, you have lower expectations for them.

25:30

Then there's still kind of a place even when they're young like that to say, hey, I've fed you and I got to step away for 10 minutes here to feed the rest of your family so they don't die.

25:43

Let's say you have a really colicky baby who's crying all the time. There's still kind of categories to do the kind of things

25:49

I'm saying. What I'm trying to say is you are growing.

25:58

If at one year old, you're still carrying that baby around everywhere you go because they're inconsolable without mom you're doing something wrong.

26:11

What you need to be doing is the heavier they're getting, the more stable they're getting, the more mobile they're getting and all that.

26:22

They do have to learn to be okay. This is a project to teach them to be okay and not have to be joined to the mom nonstop.

26:35

It's just a matter of how long does that take. It may be that as a little baby you carry them around in a sling and they're comforted that way and you can get things done.

26:48

You can do that. Once you're getting around six months or seven months the baby should not be glued to your hip everywhere you go.

27:00

They're not completely arbitrary numbers but I'm not sold on the numbers. I'm just saying once you start having a baby who's heavy it's going to give you back problems and is interfering with what you're doing.

27:14

At some point you have other things that God's called you to do besides just tow the baby around everywhere you go.

27:20

Especially when you start thinking about you're getting into around eight months or so you're starting to get back into I could be pregnant at any moment here.

27:34

Trying to tow it around essentially two babies at that point. If you want to give yourself back problems permanently and all that at some point you just have to say

27:43

I think you should be training your baby all along the way just to be okay.

27:52

I always thought it was a problem as a husband when the baby never wanted me and only wanted mom.

28:03

I would declare war on that. I would say I'm going to get you used to me.

28:10

You can cry at me all you want. I'll figure you out. I'll break you.

28:19

I'll break your stubborn will. You'll learn to like me. But I wasn't content with just I wanted to be helpful and give my wife a break.

28:29

I like babies too. I wasn't content with just let her deal with it.

28:37

I want you to not have to be dependent on mom everywhere you go in order to be okay.

28:44

You need to learn to get used to other people. I'm another person you need to get used to.

28:52

That's part of it. Did you have more you wanted to say? I'm basically just saying the more sturdy they're getting the more like around that six month kind of area they're sturdy.

29:09

They're stable. They're starting to become a little more independent. They have to learn that they can't be attached to mom all the time.

29:18

They're a sinner too. So basically the long and short of it is at every stage there needs to be some sort of okay you've just got to cry for now.

29:32

It might look different in terms of how long you let them cry how often you check them those kinds of things.

29:45

In one sense it is kind of hard to nail down here's exactly what you do at this exact stage just because all babies are different in terms of how they develop anyways.

30:02

So it's hard to give a full on blanket statement that perfectly fits every single scenario.

30:10

What you have in the background of this discussion is the baby wise kind of discussion where you have books that are basically training the baby to sleep train.

30:19

They promise that the baby will be able to sleep through the night in the first few weeks of infancy or whatever.

30:29

What's happening is you're letting the baby cry for long periods of time in order to get them used to crying it out.

30:36

What's happening is there's a lot of moms who viscerally react against that baby wise approach.

30:45

Everything that we're talking about they're hearing through that lens basically. Cry it out for three hours kind of thing.

30:54

We're talking about stepping away for 15 minutes and coming back and just checking on to make sure they're okay.

31:02

Not just neglectful hours. There's that approach and then there's a lot of moms who are tying that to biology basically and saying that's very unhealthy for them to be sleeping through the night that early because they need to eat every few hours and all that.

31:20

You have that kind of discussion that's live in this. And I don't there's people who obviously have done that and they didn't kill their babies.

31:31

It worked. There's a guy on Twitter who basically said that he was a single parent and because his wife had died and he had the newborn baby and by the time he had resisted letting the baby cry it out until he was about a year old or whatever the baby was about a year old and at that point he was just getting so little sleep and he had to work and he had all this stuff.

32:01

He's like right I'm done so you're going to cry it out. At the year mark he said the first night the baby cried for like two and a half hours.

32:11

The second night the baby cried for an hour and a half and then the third night the baby slept through the night.

32:20

So he took a stand. And the Lord delivered him. And I think that there has to be some kind of sanity introduced into this discussion along those lines where there is a place to make a stand at some point.

32:36

You have to pull the helms deep on them. If you don't have any category for doing it at a year then you're way too hyper about these things.

32:49

I guess it makes sense to say as a newborn you can't let them sleep through the entire night.

32:58

I remember the doctors would tell us if the baby doesn't wake up after like two hours since their last feeding or what

33:08

I can't remember the numbers. Wake them up and feed them because they have to eat. So understand that.

33:14

I will tell you I'm not taking us we didn't do the baby wipes thing.

33:20

We didn't. I know a lot of couples who did particularly in seminary they did it and I'm not throwing stones at them.

33:28

You know I think a lot of women like react really like ballsy red at that approach.

33:38

But I mean it worked for a lot of people you know and it wasn't what it wasn't what they thought you know. So I'm not we didn't actually do that ourself.

33:47

But then I don't we didn't religiously wake our baby up every two to two hours either.

33:52

We kind of just like the what we did with our five kids practically was we just if they started crying we would you know

34:00

Elizabeth to go feed them. But then and I would tell men don't feed your baby at night.

34:09

So I didn't know we're not talking about that but men specifically. Yeah. That's stupid.

34:15

Yes. That's just stupid. You know like like you have a like you have a job that you have to go to you know and if you're going to go if you're going to make yourself like getting up every few hours a night like you could lose your job because you're you know like this is something that God has called your wife to do and she is you know she has the ability to stay at home and not operate not be driving cars around and doing things.

34:47

Yeah there's different expectations and different responsibilities for it also it makes more sense for the wife to be the one doing that right.

34:54

Yes it does so but but with our kids we we generally let them sleep as long as they wanted to sleep give or take you know maybe when they're really small we wake them up a little bit you know but the more that you do that you're more that you're sleep deprived and pretty soon you can't do it you know.

35:10

You just let them and once they cry they have a baby monitor they wake you up and you you know and I would encourage you know parents to not just have the baby in the room indefinitely too because it just if you want everyone to not sleep for the first you know six months of your life like you you know there was there was there was points where we just like hey we gotta get the baby out of here okay.

35:37

We're gonna go crazy. I'm evicting the baby. We have we have a baby monitor.

35:43

We have to get the baby out of here or else you know I'm gonna lose my job okay kind of thing and so like so there's a there's that but anyways

35:54

I mean like I'm not throwing stones at anyone who goes like the baby wise approach or whatever I but and that I had not known any babies who died of it you know.

36:05

So like I think a lot of the the this stuff is a little bit there's a lot of emotion attached to it and less facts that are attached to it but I mean

36:15

I I think like I'm not advocating either way you know we didn't we didn't go that route ourself and and but I mean

36:23

I think whatever we're talking about we're not even talking about that. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

36:29

Absolutely. So with this topic in general are there any specific places in scripture that are motivating the answer that we're giving in terms of should you always comfort a crying baby?

36:43

Yeah I mean I think there well I think one of the things that you have to understand is the

36:49

Bible does say that children are conceived in iniquity right? So children come come into the world with the sin nature.

36:56

I mean if you read through you know Augustine's confessions it's really funny because Augustine he he has a whole chapter on confessing the sins of his infancy.

37:05

Okay. People hey look you know and I've been I've been thinking about we need to we need to do just we've talked about it but we need to do just a full -blown episode on it at some point is people are really opposed to the idea that babies can be sinful.

37:22

Have a sin nature. Yeah well Augustine didn't agree you know so he confessed the sins of his infancy and you know what he did was he was looking around and seeing babies like angrily crying you know for their mother's milk and I mean you could see that babies have like anger you know like you yeah you can kind of tell selfish yeah they're self -centered they're angry they can be needy they can be clingy they can be like they're they're sinners right and so part of what you have to do when you're thinking about a baby is you have to think you're treating them as a moral being you're not just treating them as like a blank slate like little angel baby or whatever you're treating them as a moral being and in like if you just let your baby um like I always like with our kids

38:02

I would always um like with our family in particular um like when we go to visit our family

38:08

I would like you know your family wants to hold your baby and if you don't train your baby to be used to other people like you're kind of depriving your in -laws of like the joy of being around babies and like loving babies and you know so like when

38:23

I would come into my family's house I would just say hey here's the baby and I'm gonna we're gonna get away and let you have an opportunity to hold the baby yeah but part of that was for like their benefit like my family but then the other part of that was for the baby's benefit of like not being so clingy does that make sense yeah like learning to like get used to other people and not just like there's only one person that I'm I feel safe and comfortable with like that's part of just training like their character because you can do that from an early age

38:53

I mean like I teach my kids how to talk to people right yeah and like have a conversation with adults and they can do that because they've

39:01

I'm not just gonna let them be like the you know shy like I'm like just afraid of people kind of people you know

39:10

I'm not gonna feed that in them so I mean the Bible says they're conceived in like iniquity and like there's like the chief end of man is not just like the happiness of a baby okay so you have to you have to think about it this way um

39:25

God essentially has given us like chief end of man is that we glorify God so God's the one who calls the shots and like his commands are the ones that go and he's the one that calls like he's the one that makes the rules and there's more to life than just like like what what happens in this kind of discussion is essentially you have um it most of the time it's a mom like you most of the time it's just a mom who like thinks that the sum total of faithfulness is to keep baby happy and most of the time it's not for baby it's for her does that make sense yeah absolutely like it's not for baby it's more because she can't handle like she hasn't learned patience and kindness and long suffering and gentleness and like she hasn't learned to be yelled at you know so I mean

40:10

I've I've counseled plenty of moms who like the babies are screaming at them and hollering at them and they're taking it personal you know and like why is the baby so mad at me and you know and then they're and it's just like they just want it to stop because it's like making them go crazy just like you need to learn self -control and you need to learn perseverance right like you need like there's all these you need to learn long suffering like you need you need to learn these fruits of the spirit and like this is an opportunity for you to grow in your character and this is an opportunity for you to let like baby know that like baby is not the center of the universe for everyone and that God's the center of the universe and like sometimes he has things that like are he's called you to do and so I mean like there's any number of mommy blogs out there who basically just like hey yeah baby's crying you come for the baby and they haven't cleaned their house in like a year or two mm -hmm and they don't care you know and it's just like yeah you're not the excellent wife though like you know what

41:07

I'm saying like you're letting here you're ignoring you're elevating one of your responsibilities as a wife over every other right so what you want to do is you want to be balanced as a wife and a mother and a homemaker right like you want to be balanced you can't let this baby get in the way of like all of your domestic responsibilities can't let this baby get in the way of all your responsibilities to your other kids you can't let this baby get in the way of all your responsibilities to your husband to where basically like your husband is off limits to you for years at a time because you have a baby shield in the way that that needs to be with you at every single moment and then the whole you know like you're permanently attached to this baby and like you and like the husband just needs to like give you your space right and and everything revolves around like babies crying you know don't wake baby up and you know that it it's like you gotta you gotta move you have other things that you're called to do besides just take care of the baby so yeah so when you're thinking about that like you're thinking about God's given us a bunch of commands not just one and then this is a moral being like this isn't this is a moral being that you have to shepherd their heart the best you know how and try you know in and so there's there's just a lot that goes into it sure yeah so like when you look at Proverbs 31 you know you're basically ignoring a lot of that stuff just in order to make sure that the baby cries as little as possible right yeah and so but then like what people hear then like and this is what like if you're if you're embattled listening to this and you're screaming at me right now in your mind what in screaming at Harrison right now what you've heard though is like you're unable to distinguish between the first few weeks of having a baby and six months later right your house shouldn't be like if you have one baby your house shouldn't be a permanent wreck for the first year of that baby's life if it is you're doing something wrong right like in no amount of going on your you know going online and making a mommy blog with all of your you know pictures of your house being a mess is going to impress anyone like but just the kind of women who are sloths at their at their job so like yeah

43:32

I mean sure like you just get out of the hospital you're recovering from a c -section let everything go you know you know yeah

43:41

I mean obviously you know yeah it's all gonna be a mess who cares but like like you know by the time you're about a month in you shouldn't be able to figure out what you're doing okay right like it yeah and even if you know once you once you get like to the year mark and they're really able to start moving around on their own you should honestly be you know vote beginning to focus on how do

44:06

I teach my children to you know even help me sure like right so like not help obviously in terms of like all right we're gonna do the laundry now you know and like making your own peanut butter jelly sandwich yeah you know and you know like you know like you know like you know like you know like you know like you know like you know like you know like you know like I mean like like they're just totally incapable of doing anything and and honestly like that's just not true it's just not true like like our our baby our oldest is you know right over two years old and she does plenty of things to help around the house now does she always do them perfectly no no no well that's what people are afraid of they're afraid of like, if you let them do anything, they're not going to do it perfect.

45:49

And it's like, yeah, right. That is going to take longer. It's like, yeah, it does. But it bears fruit later and you're teaching them character.

45:55

Absolutely. Yeah. What I always tell what I always tell people is with this, with those kinds of things that you're playing, you're playing a very long game.

46:04

Right. You're if if you expect them to do it perfectly right away, then you're going to be let down every single time.

46:11

And so you just have to be OK with. They're probably going to you know, they're going to do it worse than you.

46:16

A lot of times they're going to make an even bigger mess than was what was already there.

46:22

But the payoff comes in the form of, you know, at a much I mean, much earlier age, they're able to do a lot more than other children, you know, other children who weren't raised that way.

46:35

And so I think that is obviously when we're getting in that discussion, we are getting more into like, hey, they're two, they're three, four, five, six.

46:43

So it is a bit of a it is a bit of a separate discussion in one sense.

46:49

But I think it is important. And I don't think very many people really think that way. I mean,

46:54

I and I interact with, you know, what with my job, I interact with kindergartners all the way through high schoolers.

47:02

And I can tell you that most of them have never, ever been treated like they are capable of doing anything on their own.

47:10

It's it's pretty terrible. But but anyways, OK, so so we're talking about like, hey, if you're the person who's saying you can't just let your baby cry, you have to always tend to your baby, then essentially you're going to inevitably, because you only have 24 hours in a day and you need to sleep and you need to eat and you need to take, you know, you need to bathe and things like that.

47:36

You're never going to your house. Your house is never going to be taken care of. Your other children are never going to be taken care of.

47:43

You're not going to be able to teach them the way that you you should be. You're not going to be able to have your own quiet times, have your own, you know, study time with the

47:54

Lord. You're you're you're just going to be neglecting a lot of of other things. Right. So so we're not saying there's some kind of command that's like thou shalt not let the baby cry.

48:03

I mean, thou shalt let the baby cry. Right. But there's not a command that you.

48:09

There's no command to comfort every baby who is crying either. Right. Right.

48:15

And so we have to look at it and say, well, what are all of the commands? You got to do them all. Yeah. Now, I think there are babies that are easier than others.

48:21

And sometimes I think, you know, parents who there may be like a mom who could say, hey, don't ever wake a sleeping baby up and don't and always comfort a crying baby who has the easiest baby in the world.

48:33

Right. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. And like who's not very demanding and not very. I mean, some, you know, some of our kids are more demanding and needy and clingy than others.

48:41

And so not all babies the same. So you may be able to get away with that if you have like a really easy baby.

48:47

But sometimes some of them aren't, you know. And so but I mean, even even then, though, like.

48:54

Like you can make an idol like just an idol out of this baby crying.

49:00

And a lot of ladies are very tempted to do that. They make it making an idol of this baby crying to the point where it's just like, you know, someone makes too much noise and wakes the baby up.

49:11

And then, you know, the lady just loses her mind on everyone else. Right. Yeah. And because it's just like she she's just making the sleep baby sleep thing way too important.

49:24

OK. I mean, like all this. They all grow up. OK. Yeah, they all grow up.

49:34

I mean, they do. You know, I I kind of like to make fun of young parents sometimes, you know, because like of all the developmental milestones and things like that.

49:43

Right. And I get some of it is kind of funny to me because it's like, well, you need to give them their their tummy time or else they're not going to be able to, you know, learn to get their neck muscles.

49:53

And, you know, I remember with one couple, I just looked at him. I was like, you know, like, do you know any adults that don't have like Parkinson's disease?

50:01

Who's next? Got this, you know? It's like, no. So at some point, they all figure out how to hold their head up.

50:12

Like it happens, you know. So I think like I think that like some people can just like get way too attached to like these routines and it's like, you know, fussy, grumpy baby can just be like like blown way out of proportion to where it's like it's

50:25

OK for them to be grumpy and like it's great to have routines. But don't turn your routines into idols where you're just like, like every, you know, you can't you can't interact with your church members because it's nap time, you know, and you can't do that.

50:40

You know, it's just like at some point you got to let go of some of that. And it's all right.

50:46

Fussy baby never killed anyone, you know? Yeah. It just makes everyone miserable, you know?

50:52

Yeah. But it doesn't have to. I mean, you can get used to it and you're fine. You know, I think you bring up a good point in that it's very tempting to think because especially when the baby is is new and just born, it's very tempting to think that assuming the baby is like in normal health, it's very tempting to think that they're,

51:15

I mean, as fragile as, you know, whatever is the most fragile thing that you could ever hold.

51:23

Right. And every way. And and I mean, you know, in some ways they are. Obviously, they're a lot more fragile than than any adult is.

51:32

Or, you know, even a child that's two or three years old. So it's not like there's no difference.

51:37

But then they I mean, it's a lot harder to it's a lot harder to break a baby than you might think.

51:45

You know, you know, assuming you're not like shaking them or something. They're not like just totally made of glass.

51:54

Right. And so they're not going to die. You know, if if they don't get their need met right away.

52:00

So what people do is and this is really funny because like what they with what you're talking about, what they they go to, like these studies of, you know, like the

52:09

Russian orphanages or whatever, where the baby's like died of a broken heart after crying for, you know, months straight with no one to hold them, you know, and like some babies just need to be held, you know, and like there's going to be permanent psychological damage to that baby.

52:23

Right. I can I could. But it's like. You have to be able to make distinctions between that scenario and letting your baby cry for 10 minutes so you can take a shower.

52:33

These are not comparable. Like if the I don't mean to laugh at the I'm not laughing at the, you know, the the baby dying, because obviously that's terrible.

52:43

I'm laughing at the parent who. Yeah, who on my Twitter poll, there was some there were women who could not make that distinction.

52:51

Right. Right. Like it's just like the studies have shown psychologically that, you know, it's like we're talking about letting a baby cry for 15 minutes.

53:00

Yeah. You think that you're going to permanently scar them for life and they're going to suffer from mental disorders because they cry for 15 minutes?

53:05

Like you think the entirety of your parenting from now until 18 is just going to be thrown into the dumpster because your baby cried for 10 minutes so you could take a shower?

53:14

You need to wake up, you know, like, come on. Like, this is crazy. Like, this is like this is lady sensibilities on crack.

53:22

Like, wake up. Like, it's not the way it works. This is not a rush. Like your baby's not going to die because you took a shower.

53:30

Come on. Oh, oh, my goodness.

53:37

Yeah, that's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. You need to I guess if you're there, like you've got a serious problem if you can't let the baby cry.

53:49

So what I didn't know, I didn't know people were saying they were. Yeah, I was caught a bit off guard.

53:54

No, they are. I mean, no. But what happens is like you have like men. Men are like this is they understand this conversation by and large.

54:01

Men understand this. And ladies don't know. Which is why we're so qualified. That's right. We are uniquely qualified to speak authoritatively.

54:09

So you need to you need to listen to male voices. And yeah, yeah, yeah. All that.

54:15

Yeah, yeah. So but what's happening, though, is like there's a lot of men who really are kind of selfish, OK? And so like they're selfish and they're lazy.

54:23

So you have a lot of husbands who are selfish and lazy. And what's happening in this kind of discussion is they're like, hey, just let the baby cry, you know, because I want to do my thing.

54:32

Right. Right. Yeah. And then the guy can just tune it out. And then the lady looks at him like with, you know, the high pitched music in the background.

54:46

She's like looking at him like like you monster. Right. Like and so and then she'll ask the husband to help, you know, so she can get a few things done because she, you know, kind of desires very strongly a break.

54:57

And he'll just kind of like, yeah, OK, I'm watching it. And then the baby just crawls into another room and gets into trouble.

55:04

And she's exasperated at it because he's just lazy, you know. So and then so if you're lazy, like if you're a lazy husband who refuses to help your wife out and like you, you expect her to do all these things at once, you expect her to cook and clean and be intimate with you and, you know, all the while watching the baby because you couldn't be bothered to help the baby, like watch the baby in a way that's going to take her mind off of it.

55:29

Like then what's happening is the guy's like, hey, just let the baby cry. And the woman is looking at him like you're worthless.

55:36

Right. So she can't trust what he's saying because it seems to be motivated by self -interest.

55:42

It's not motivated by like, I got your back and this is right. You know what

55:47

I'm saying? It's like it's not it doesn't seem like it's motivated by, no, we have to like we can't let this baby like this inconsolable clingy baby like dominate our lives.

56:01

OK. Right. So we're going to we have to we have to learn to do the things

56:07

God's called us to do. And we we can't just let the baby terrorize everything.

56:12

Right. So so like what's happening is a lot of women don't trust their husbands in those moments. I mean, in part because like a lot of women don't trust men, period, which is why we're uniquely qualified to talk about this subject right now.

56:26

But a lot of a lot of women aren't trusting men, period. But they don't seem to be motivated by there's there's understandable reasons to ignore, like to to look on their husband with suspicion in that moment.

56:41

But this really is like it really is a male female kind of problem that we're talking about.

56:47

It really is a male female kind of thing, like in that men can tune it out a lot better than women and not let it bother them.

56:53

And I think that's a strength like men have a strength there that they can lend to their wife. Like in that it's like, honey,

57:01

I think that's what it means to encourage their wife, to give them courage and give them like mental toughness.

57:06

Right. To say, you can't let this affect you. You can't like we're not going to bow down to the baby cry at every single point.

57:14

We're going to put it in its right place. And we're going to we have a lot of things that God's called us to do.

57:21

And we're not just going to eat fast food every meal because inconsolable baby.

57:26

Right. Right. So there's like I think there's a real place for men to come along and help their wives like just know the obvious, like they're going to be

57:35

OK. They're not going to have permanent psychological damage if we let them cry for 10 minutes. OK.

57:41

Yeah. Like they're going to die of a broken heart. They're not going to die of a broken heart. Like you've read too many

57:47

Internet studies, you know, so like it'll be right. OK. Like and and we're not doing that because we're lazy.

57:54

We're doing that because like like there's nothing either one of us can do right now, you know, to comfort this baby.

58:01

Right. Baby's unhappy. Yeah. So we need to take a step back here for a minute. Right. So. Yeah.

58:07

So final question, going along with the whole husband's thing, you know, obviously women have been given the primary responsibility of of tending to the home, raising, raising the children.

58:21

Right. And then men have given been given other responsibilities as their primary responsibilities.

58:29

So knowing that how often, if at all, should a husband help with a crying baby?

58:39

Yeah, I mean, I think I think, yeah, it's obviously a lady's primary job. I mean, I think if you're assuming.

58:49

I mean, breastfeeding is kind of going out of style now because of the availability of formula and things like that.

58:57

And yeah, I mean, there's still all sorts of scientific studies to show that you can raise your baby's IQ points by, you know, significant points by breastfeeding.

59:06

And then, you know, then you have all the carnivore people now who are basically saying that the formula is training them in effeminacy from early ages.

59:17

So, yeah, maybe more evidence. I don't know what to make of that, but if you want to raise a little soy boy, give them formula.

59:31

You got a soy boy in the making over there. Now, I've just done the ghastly thing of like shaming women for using formula, but I don't care.

59:39

No, but I think you got obviously designed breast milk. And so I think there's a sense in which you could save a lot of money.

59:47

And this is how women did this throughout the history of the world. And so why are you spending all this money on formula when you can take care of it yourself if you just have the slightest amount of discipline and other centeredness and, you know, that's not to say that sometimes it can't be hard and adjustment, but like it is something that like in general, like a lady is going to of necessity have to protect.

01:00:12

Before the advent of formula, this was not even an option. OK, right. Like to a certain extent, meaning like, you know, regularly feeding and all that kind of stuff.

01:00:21

And so I think there's a I think like lady feeding the babies just should be a normal like you're going to feed the baby because you are equipped to do it kind of thing.

01:00:36

And like the fact that there's such a big trend now to where the guys are doing all the bottle feeding and doing it all hours at night, that's a very bad trend.

01:00:44

You know, this reflecting poorly upon the ladies that are out there.

01:00:50

And now, I mean, we couldn't, you know, we had a situation where our first child was airlifted by the by helicopter to another hospital immediately after being born.

01:01:00

And and it we like he was in the NICU for a week and trying to like it just didn't work, you know, with him.

01:01:10

But but anyways, there are situations that I'm aware of, but and know about the where you might go the bottle feeding route.

01:01:18

But I think in general, what I'm trying to say is like there is a like this is your domain. This is your realm.

01:01:24

And I think, you know, men shouldn't be like tyrannical in it and just like, you know, coming in with a heavy hand, just like men can just like not understand like the lady impulse to comfort the baby and just like come in at a heavy hand, just say, let the baby cry almost in like a tyrannical military way, which is not what

01:01:41

I'm talking about at all. You know? Yeah. But I mean, when once things start to get neglected, that's where you're stepping in and you're saying, hey, we're you know, and even before that, just providing direction in general,

01:01:51

I think there's places to say, hey, we have to take care of everything here. We have to have a balanced life. But beyond that,

01:01:57

I mean, I do think like you come home from work. You know, I'm imagining this is a standard traditional husband, wife kind of scenario.

01:02:05

Like what in the world are you doing at that point? That's so important where you can't. Like, get used to your baby, get your baby accustomed to you, right?

01:02:16

Sure. Yeah. I mean, if your wife is going to be cooking for you, like which she should be, you shouldn't be eating fast food every meal or else you're going to look like it and waste a bunch of money as poor stewardship.

01:02:26

But I mean, like what do you what else do you have to do other than to hold your baby and get used to your baby and get your baby used to you?

01:02:34

And I mean, I do think like I'm really kind of concerned with the kind of guy who just is like, yeah, you cook for me.

01:02:42

You clean for me. You're intimate with me. And, you know, like I'm just going to like let you take care of like.

01:02:50

I can't. I'm so, you know. Checked out of the home here that like you're going to have to put your baby in a sling and take him everywhere you go, because I just haven't gotten used to the baby yet, you know?

01:03:04

So like, that's just weird. Like, I mean, I think what are you doing other than just like help out, you know? Right.

01:03:10

Like, like help out. Like meaning like like this is it's not even like this is your child, you know?

01:03:18

Yeah, it's your child, too. You're supposed to love them. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm not

01:03:23

I don't have a lot of patience for that kind of guy who's just like. Now, at the same time, there's a lot kind of lady who is just like.

01:03:34

Like, get this stupid baby away from me, kind of thing, you know, I've been passing where it's just like you better bottle feed them and you better change all their diapers and you better like like just keep them away from me or else

01:03:47

I'm going to go crazy. And at a certain point, like a guy in that kind of situation says has to say, hey, you got to chill out, you know, like you can't just let yourself be totally unsanctified because you're done with it.

01:03:58

Right. Yeah. I can't push it off entirely now that there's someone else to take it on. Yeah. I mean, so it shouldn't be that.

01:04:05

Like, I mean, like it shouldn't be that, you know, from if you get home at five, from five o 'clock to eleven o 'clock, something really strange is happening.

01:04:14

If from five o 'clock to ten o 'clock, whatever, that guy is the primary caregiver of that child.

01:04:20

Right. Yeah. It's like, no, like it should be more like a right. We're supposed to take care of this.

01:04:28

But you're obviously, you know, have the biological equipment to bear more of this load.

01:04:34

But I'm going to like use my brain and like look at what's happening. And you're cooking. And let me get the baby away from you because I want to eat, you know?

01:04:44

You know, that's the reason. Well, I mean, because I love you. I care about you. But I mean, it's like, come on, like you have to like use your brain.

01:04:50

I can be like a lot of women are just looking at. So what happens is like a lot of men are just oblivious and just doing their own thing and just farting around, you know, and like.

01:05:00

So, you know, what happens is men and women are on a different schedule and like women's work comes in and out.

01:05:08

You know, guys been working all day long. So I think it's, you know, like I get that like our work hours a little bit different.

01:05:14

You come home, it's a little bit different. But like if she's in the middle of like work mode and you don't have anything better to do and baby is interfering with work mode, like it's use your brain about it, you know what

01:05:28

I'm saying? Right. Yeah. Now, don't take it all on. You know, I would I really get irritated by men who are getting up all night, bottle feeding a baby because a wife refutes the breastfeed.

01:05:41

That's not what I'm talking about. That's like. Could be an afraid of your wife, you know, like let her take that.

01:05:48

But, you know, I do think help out, use your brain, be there.

01:05:55

Look, look at what's happening, you know. And and you should love your kid and want to be around them.

01:06:00

And, you know, and like show your wife how to do it, too. You know, because a lot of times ladies can get real stressed out and frazzled when the baby is crying.

01:06:09

But you could show them how to not be frazzled by it. You know. Yeah. So I think the more sturdy they get, you know,

01:06:15

I think I think when their first few months, it may be that their mom territory, you know, but as they're getting older, they get more sturdy.

01:06:22

You should be more and more. They're more interactive. You know, you should be doing more and more and more.

01:06:27

So. OK. All right. Well, I think that's a good place to end this episode on.

01:06:33

And and, you know, obviously, like we said at the beginning of the episode, this is this is one of those points of of contention, possibly for a lot of couples when it comes to having children to begin with, especially especially in a day and age where, you know, it it's more popular than ever for both parents to work.

01:06:55

Right. And for the wife to it's OK for the wife to neglect all of her biblical responsibilities that God has given to her.

01:07:05

And so it's very it's very easy to go into a marriage and really not be on the same page when it comes to what do we do with our baby and how do we raise our baby and what do we do when they cry?

01:07:18

And it's a really bad idea to try and figure out what to do when they're crying right in the middle of them crying, having never talked about it before, because it's very easy to get like frustrated in those moments.

01:07:32

It's very easy to start thinking about yourself and how this impacts you. As like we said, it's very easy for women to like get just frazzled at the loud noise constantly going off that they know they're responsible for.

01:07:47

And so this is a really important discussion to honestly, to have beforehand, not as like a deterrent to not have children, but just as like a, hey, look, we're you know,

01:07:58

God's called us to have children. And and those children are going to cry and they're going to cry a lot.

01:08:05

They're going to cry all the time. They're going to cry for everything they need. And they're going to cry for things that they don't need to.

01:08:11

Right. And and so you've got to figure out how do we handle this? How do we address it?

01:08:16

And I don't think the answer is just, you know, like you are now you are now like the boss of our home, little small child.

01:08:24

You know, you were I don't think that's the answer. You obviously don't want to neglect them, you know, like the the the

01:08:33

Russian orphan or whatever it was that you that you're referencing. You obviously don't want to do that.

01:08:39

But then if you can't if if you're the person who's listening to this and you're thinking to yourself,

01:08:45

I don't let my baby cry for 15 minutes, even, you know, then

01:08:50

I think you're you're probably the kind of person that we're really talking to here and saying, hey, it's so it's

01:08:56

OK to just let them cry for 15 minutes, you know, while you go clean the bathroom because you have to, you know, and so so hopefully this has been an encouraging conversation for everyone listening.

01:09:08

Hopefully it's been challenging for some people. And and maybe, you know, maybe confirming for others, others who have looked back on the way that they've raised their children or are raising their children now and realize, hey, you know,

01:09:23

I was going for this sort of balanced approach where, you know, you don't let them you don't just neglect them for a whole day, but then you don't you don't change everything about you don't neglect all your other responsibilities just because the baby has just begun to cry, too.

01:09:41

And so so hopefully it's been encouraging for you guys. Like always, it's it's a lot of fun to sit down and record these podcasts and talk about these things and and even get to interact with you guys through, you know, email,

01:09:54

Facebook, Twitter and and everywhere else we are YouTube even.

01:10:00

And so so we encourage you guys to continue to interact with us.

01:10:06

If you're not following us on Twitter or Facebook, then you can do that. There's normally a link down in the description.

01:10:13

And we appreciate all the feedback. We appreciate all the support that you guys give to us week in and week out.

01:10:20

So until the next episode, we'll see. This has been another episode of Bible Bashed.

01:10:26

We hope you have been encouraged and blessed through our discussion. We thank you for all your support and ask you to continue to like and subscribe to Bible Bashed and share our podcast with your friends and on social media.

01:10:37

Please reach out to us with your questions, pushback and potential topics for us to discuss in future episodes at Bible Bashed podcast at gmail dot com and consider supporting us through Patreon.

01:10:49

If you would like to be Bible Bashed personally, then please know that we also offer free biblical counseling, which you can take advantage of by emailing us.

01:10:57

Now, go boldly and obey the truth in the midst of a biblically illiterate world who will be perpetually offended by your every move.