AD in FLF - Warring Against Anxiety

Hello there, this is AD Robles, and you're listening to AD on the Fight Laugh Feast Network.

All right, all right, well, short episode today. Unfortunately, I've had some things happen, and I need to address them as soon as possible.

But I wanted to make sure to get an episode out today on time. But I want to talk about anxiety.

And if you've been following me this year at all, you know that I've been talking about having no despair in 2020.

Christians really don't have an excuse for despair. Despair is the absence of hope. And as Christians, we ought to be a people of hope.

We've got a good king. We serve a good king, and we love him, and he loves us.

And we know that our God will take care of us. This does not mean that you will not have tribulation in this world. This does not mean that you're completely insulated from pandemics or financial crises or anything like that.

No, it doesn't mean that life is always easy. But with the Lord, it's always good.

And that's a quotation from from R .J. Rush Dooney, or as I like to call him Count Dooku. But anyway,

I'm all about fighting despair. But if I want to be perfectly honest with you, the reality is that I do struggle against anxiety.

And I didn't know this for until until somewhat recently that I struggled with anxiety. I'll tell you a little story.

Before I moved to Vermont, I lived in New York City, and I moved to Vermont to take an unpaid internship with a church in Vermont.

And so I quit my job of eight years. I was doing really well in my job and my career.

I had moved up the ranks, and I was making good money and stuff like that. And I decided to pursue this kind of like a pastoral ministry type internship.

It was unpaid and all of that. And I quit my job. And right when we were making these decisions, it turned out that my wife was pregnant with our first son.

And so it was a weird time to quit your job for an unpaid internship. No question about it.

But you know, we had faith in Christ and his ability to provide for us. We saved up a bunch of money so that it would be okay that I didn't work for a few months.

And I also found some side gigs and stuff like that to make some money. Anyway, the point is, the week we were going to leave, we had an apartment in Brooklyn, and we were going to move in with my wife's grandparents in Rutland for a time because they were actually selling their house and moving out themselves.

It was a really good situation. The week we were going to leave, I ended up in the hospital.

And I thought that I was dying. I thought I was having a heart attack. And I called the ambulance because I just started feeling like crazy, you know, and I thought

I was dying. And the ambulance came and they checked my blood pressure, and it was through the roof, like we're talking 200 over 100, like in that range.

And I'll never forget this guy, this paramedic looked at me said, Look, we can't make you go to the hospital, but you should go to the hospital.

You know what I mean? I remember I was feeling so bad. They, my wife had some medicines that she was taking their vitamins for her pregnancy on the on the table, and they checked it to make sure

I wasn't like taking pills, you know, and stuff like that they was in a bad shape. So I ended up in the hospital, they checked me out

EKG, the whole thing. And there was nothing physically wrong with me, my blood pressure was high. But they were like, you know, you should get your blood pressure checked out, maybe.

But like, there's nothing wrong with you, you know, and I told them about my situation. And they said,

Oh, this is probably like a big anxiety attack, a panic attack. And I told them that that's crazy. I don't feel any anxiety,

I don't feel like nervous, I feel totally confident in what we're doing. They mentioned to me that sometimes your body knows you're anxious more than you do.

Ever since then, I've kind of had a bit of hypochondria, you know, like where you kind of feel like you have an illness or a disease that you don't have.

And I struggle against it. I fight against it. I hate that. And I know this is not a good thing.

The people of the Lord shouldn't be wracked with anxiety all the time. So I fight against it. You know what I mean? But if I'm honest, it's still it still comes up.

And this is a situation that I think is a temptation to give into anxiety, because it's it's anxiety is almost like you, you have this kind of false sense of your own control over situations, you just don't have control.

The Lord is sovereign, you're not all you can do is obey him and and plan and make your plans.

But God establishes your steps, right? I can prepare for anything that I that I think

I need to prepare for. But at the end of the day, God's in control of whether I live or die, whether my kids are protected, or, you know, they go through hardship or any of these things, like we don't have control, especially as a good

Calvinist, I, I believe this. But this is all this is all this isn't this isn't hypothetical.

For me, this is something that I, I wore against a temptation that sometimes feels like I don't have control over it.

And so when I criticize, if you've been watching my videos this week, I was criticizing Tim Chalies, because he's kind of buying into this idea that, you know, maybe the gay desire isn't, you know, necessarily sinful.

Now, I'm not saying he's buying into that. But he's certainly not. He's certainly not strongly in the right camp, so to speak, you know, you understand what

I'm saying? And so people say, well, they have these desires, they can't help them. How can that be sinful?

And it's like, yeah, you know, we all have desires that sometimes it feels like we can't help them.

That's not to say you should not repent of them. And so when I worry about tomorrow, when

I worry, what are what if I have cancer? What if I have this or that? It's like, like,

I think like, my worry somehow affects it. And it's that's just insane, I have to repent of not trusting

God. Because ultimately, when I'm wracked with anxiety about something, that's me not trusting the

Lord. That's me actually wondering, is the Lord good? Or if I do have this illness?

Is God going to work good for his church through this? And do I trust him with that? And it's like, well, really, sometimes

I don't. I feel I know all of us identify with that man in the scripture, who says, I believe help my unbelief, we all kind of identify with him.

But man, definitely I do. So that's, that's kind of my story. You know, I just wanted to tell it really quickly.

Because I think when you you see me online, you might have this impression that nothing, nothing gets to me, nothing worries me.

And it's just not the case at all. I fight it with everything I have, I fight anxiety, every single day.

And it's not like every day, I'm full of anxiety. But there's that temptation that's there, there's no question about it.

And, and it's an easy temptation to fall into, especially in times of tribulation, financial tribulation, or, or pandemics and all this kind of stuff.

But we we have to reject it. We have to, there's no despair for Christ's people, none at all.

That does not mean you don't plan that does not mean that you don't make preparations for the inevitable crashes and things like that.

Because eventually, it's gonna rain, you know, and so you should prepare for that rainy day. I was saying this a couple weeks ago.

And now many more people are saying, I'm not saying like, I told you so. But like, this is this, this is just how we should be with people of God should trust the

Lord to provide, but also we should make our plans to provide because God has given us much to provide for our families already.

Here's something interesting about me that you might not know as well. I bought a bought a bottle of wild turkey yesterday, and I haven't purchased a bottle of whiskey in years in years.

And during the last sort of, you know, serious kind of, well, maybe this wasn't the last one.

I don't know. This is the last one I remember. Illness epidemic was the h1n1 flu, you know, and I lived in New York City at the time in the city.

It's a tough place to live when you know that there's these flus going around. Well, I got the flu. I got the h1n1 flu.

I had it during that time. And it's always a little bit nervous, nerve wracking for me because I have asthma as well.

And so these respiratory diseases, they're always a little bit more serious for people who have asthma. I was fine. But I was in bed for a week and didn't do anything.

I didn't go to work. I didn't do any of that stuff. But what I did do was, I did make hot toddies.

And the hot toddies were great because they would help me sleep. And to be honest, it took the edge off a little bit, a little bit of the anxiety and stuff like that.

Back then, I didn't know I struggled with anxiety because I was just a heathen. I did whatever I wanted. And I just figured this was normal.

But um, anyway, so I purchased another bottle just in case I get sick, so I can go to sleep.

This is this is the scripture says that strong drink are for people that are in despair, right?

Or rather doesn't say despair. It says strong drink for one who is perishing because it takes the edge off, right? And I'm perishing.

I'm not saying that. But But yeah, I bought this because it really this whole situation reminded me a lot of that situation.

This one seems more serious. Maybe it's because I have kids or maybe it just is more serious. I don't know. But But yeah,

I did purchase this and I'm not filled with anxiety here. I feel like I'm well prepared for whatever comes our way.

But at the end of the day, my life is in the Lord's hands. He gives and he takes away and he's in charge of me.

He's my master and I know that he's good, whatever happens to me. So anyway, I don't know if it's gonna find this encouraging or not.

I don't know if you're gonna find me to be like a kind of like a fake because I'm all about this no despair.

But now you're finding out that I do have anxieties and things like that. I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I'm not like racked with with anxiety and stuff like that.

But But yeah, it's something that I wore against. And maybe maybe be helpful for you to know that that you know, if you have anxieties and stuff like that, you're not alone in your efforts to repent of that.

Because I'm right there with you, man. I'm right there with you. Anyway, if you want to join the no despair army, go ahead and purchase a no despair t shirt.

I've got two designs, one for the political season, one for just in general, not despairing. And it will go a long way to help support this channel.

If you enjoy my content, or if you just enjoy my fight Lafayette stuff, go ahead and become a club member.

That's the best way to do that. Show code Robles ROBLS. I hope you found this video slash podcast helpful.

I hope you found it encouraging. God bless. Don't forget to tune in next week on Thursday for ad on the fight laugh feast.

By the way, I hope this is obvious. But just in case it isn't,

I'm obviously not advocating drunkenness or anything like that. The reality is, though, that strong drink does gladden the heart.

And I think sometimes, especially when you're sick and feeling lousy, there's nothing wrong with having a drink to just kind of to just kind of brighten things up a little bit.

I have very fond memories of having the h1n1 flu. I remember, I would, I would sleep a lot, which was probably what

I needed. But then I'd also play Madden online with my brother a lot too.

And it was it was hilarious. It was just a real fun time. I have fond memories of that.

Not to say that if I had COVID -19 that I would have fond memories of that. But anyway,