How Husbands Should Live With Their Wives: Part 1

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How Husbands Should Live With Their Wives: Part 2

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So I'd like to speak to you Lord's Day About how husbands should live with their wives how husbands should live with their wives.
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This will be a two -part series whether the Apostle Peter spent a significant part of his letter covering
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Christian conduct as we saw in the respect that believers should show toward one another and the community at large he also
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Gave clear guidelines and instructions when dealing with those having governmental authority
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We saw that in first Peter chapter 2 verse 17 And the scripture says honor all people love the brotherhood fear
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God It's brother Keith mentioned this morning the fear of God Fear God and honor the king is definitely the
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Apostles comprehensive charge he gives to the church and And having dealt with the society at large in his time period and also it's relevant to ours as well.
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He moved on to Christian slaves and The behavior and attitude they should have toward their masters before addressing the relationship between husband and wife
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Now Peters instructs also servants to be submissive to their masters as we saw your respect of a whether they are good or Or Gent and gentlemen or unreasonable overlords who calls their slaves unjust sufferings
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It's not easy, is it? It's easy to love those that love you Jesus said
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You have no reward really The reward comes when we love those that hate us and our enemies first Peter chapter 2 verse 18 and 19 covers that Then we moved on and we saw first Peter chapter 2 verse 20 that Peter once again reminds them of Christ's teaching which is paramount.
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This is where he's getting his Really? I like what MacArthur says the New Testament epistles
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Everything in the New Testament really after Jesus after the gospel Matthew Mark Luke and John told by three different evangelists writers
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Everything that is followed after that or cut as commentary on the life of Jesus Christ, and that is so true
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So he reminds them of Christ's teaching that there is no reward for being nice to those that are good to you as I mentioned
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And we see that in first Peter chapter 2 verse 21 through verse 25.
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He used Christ as sufferings as The perfect example, I think that's the most important part of this whole
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Letter is right. There is that Jesus he says in verse 21 for you have been called for this purpose for this purpose and that perfect example of When someone has been reviled and did not respond with threats
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That's Jesus is our perfect example, but kept entrusting himself. He entrusted himself to him who judges righteously
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Now beloved it was in that context as I just mentioned of godly submission in the midst of sufferings to these early
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Christians that Peter moved To the conduct of wives and to their own husbands and Had Six whole verses of Scripture that he addresses the virtues of a godly wife.
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We saw that So then before attending to the conduct of Christian husbands
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Now we have come to this section of Holy Scripture from the hand of the
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Apostle Peter who himself was a husband as you can well see well in Scripture, he had a mother -in -law and Jesus healed her of a from a fever and He gives instructions.
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He gives good instructions, doesn't he? I like that word instructions because Scripture mentions that by the
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Apostle Paul that Scriptures gives us instructions and righteousness and righteousness
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It's the inspiration of the Holy Spirit That was breathing upon this Apostle of breathing upon the men of old and these godly men
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Moved by the Holy Spirit as God was breathing upon them And so we know that this is the
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Word of God Not the Word of man. They were just basically moved by the Spirit of God to write in the language of men
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And that's wonderful, isn't it? We believe that So he is moved by the Holy Spirit about the corresponding conduct of husbands
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Towards their wives in a beautiful order and I love that there is an order
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God is a God of order what's messed up the order sin has messed up the order sin has caused chaos chaos
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God is not the author of confusion and today look around us. We see nothing but confusion among the married
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I had I was telling to my wife Teresa. I said sad I have to say this I have to Specifically go a little bit further what it means by husband and wife one man a male a husband and one wife a woman
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Because if I just left a husband and wife people think partners of the same sex we disagree with that and Because of what the scripture says that from the beginning
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God made and it was one preacher put it Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve and I hold to that because the
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Holy Scripture would be loving to these people that disagree with this but they're totally completely out of line against scripture
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This is where we stand is the Word of God so Then he speaks of the conduct of husbands toward their wives and this is very convicting
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I told brother Keith this morning I said my toes has already been stepped on before I come up here and it's going to continue to step on my toes
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And but I'm going to minister what the Word of God says about this that there is a beautiful order
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God brings a created order and that God himself has instituted himself
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When he created man and when he and and out from man He made a woman isn't it beautiful.
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God saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone And I'm so thankful that he made a woman and it's not good to be alone
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We're gonna look at that and it becomes very clear. So today as we look at the instructions given to husbands
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This is a word to husbands a word to husbands and how husbands should live with their wives
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And we're gonna we're gonna look at see what that means again, this is a part one of a two -part message
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By no means it's exhaustive. Okay. I'm just scratching the surface here But Lord willing we'll look at part two next
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Lord's Day and we're only going to look at one verse of Scripture today verse 7 from chapter 3 verse 7 from chapter 3 of 1st
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Peter Hear the word of the Living God You husbands in the same way
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Some translation says in the like manner But in the same way in like manner live or dwell with your wives according to knowledge or in under an understanding way as with someone weaker a weaker vessel since she is a woman and Show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life
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So that your prayers Will not be hindered
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May God richly bless the reading of his word from our ears to our hearts this morning.
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Let's pray Father we would ask Oh God as we look to you and worship you for your wonderful Hand upon us.
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Oh God We would ask Oh God our father it as we come to you in the name of the
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Lord Jesus Christ And as we worship you in spirit and truth and then our worship will be acceptable to you as a sweet smelling aroma
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And we as we adore you Oh God and you alone For you are worthy
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We bless your holy name Lord we would ask that you would fill us with your spirit fill us with your spirit this morning through your words
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That's how it comes is through the word By your spirit teach us for he is your spirit is the true teacher the spirit of truth to teach us
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Your way your way Oh God, and we would ask for your help and your grace upon us and anoint
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Lord each and every one here our hearts to hear
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What the spirit is saying to the church? Lord help us within this hour and Weakness we come in fear and trembling we come that Lord we come
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And we would pray that your word would sanctify us and cleanse us Break us and use us in the end and we would ask this for your glory
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And we asked us in the in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen and amen Well marriage is the most intimate relationship that two human beings can experience the most intimate relationship that two beings human beings can experience second only
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To a relationship with God Almighty the triune God the Father the Son and the
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Spirit Marriage brings out the best and the worst in most people Seems to be in my case anyway
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Definitely is work and it's rewarding as well As two separate individuals struggles and by the way, it is a struggle
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But it's a blessing It has a twofold to it It is because the work
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That's behind it and it is one flesh coming together two individuals and one flesh merged together and holy matrimony and covenant and At the root of most marriages, there's a problem and the biggest problem that we all have is self
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I Could honestly say that's the biggest struggle I've had is self selfishness self -centeredness self indulgence
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Reminds me of John and Charles Wesley's godly mother Susanna Wesley has said this years ago, and this is a great quote
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The taproot of Sinfulness is selfishness. I want you to think of that if you want to see how sinful a person is you can see how selfish they are
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Self -centeredness the more selfish a person is and the more sinful they are and vice versa but it's absolutely or she was absolutely right the taproot of sinfulness is selfishness and when one or both partners husband and wife male and female choose to live as though they are
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His or her needs deserve priority top priority or top consideration conflict results
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Conflict happens and it does happen. That's when the conflict comes on the war zone
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What is the Word of God say about that James chapter 4 verse 1 through 3
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Says this what is the source of quarrels and the conflicts among you?
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It's not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members You lust and do not have
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So you commit murder? You're envious and cannot obtain So you fight and quarrel?
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You ask and do not receive because you ask with wrong motives So that you may spend it on your pleasures there you have the taproot of sinfulness
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Selfishness conflict wars and that happens in marriage Quite often as sad as that is but it's true
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Taproot of our problems, especially within our home conflicts in the home conflicts in the church
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Arise why because people want their own way? People want their own way the husband wants their own way the wife wants their own way
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They want their way. They won't won't won't Doesn't the Word of God says the
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Lord is my shepherd and I shall not want They want to lead the group.
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They want to go in front. They want to be dominant they push and push and push their way to the top, but beloved someone who is spirit -filled and that is
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Desiring Christ likeness more than anything else in this world Doesn't fight for the top and by the way, he fights for the bottom
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Jesus said he that is first will be last and he that is last will be first He that humbles himself shall be exalted and he that exalts himself shall be humbled.
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That's the way it works And what is taught through the
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Word of God? We are called to submit and this is what this is all about is submission to God and to his authority
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Pastor John MacArthur has a wonderful observation. I got this quote I was going to send it to brother
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Keith and Keith. No, no. No, he said hold on He sent this little meme with a whistle stop stop.
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I want the fresh bread tomorrow Okay, and here it comes. Here's fresh bread But pastor
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MacArthur has a wonderful Observation here and he says this quote
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We're drowning in a sea of information on marriage today marriage seminars marriage conferences marriage encounters marriage books marriage counselors people think the first thing they to do when they have a marriage problem is to see a counselor a psychiatrist and An analyst an expert
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Buy a supply of books go to a seminar listen to tapes and fill out charts
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That's the truth in it. It's true And then he says this I don't want to oversimplify this but if you're not spirit filled with the spirit
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You could do all those things, but none of them will matter that gets right down to it.
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I Agree with that a hundred percent On and then he goes on on the other hand if you're filled with the spirit he'll control your relationships now counseling books and seminars can be helpful in giving you practical hints and how being filled with the spirit should work itself out in your relationships and then he goes on to say but The epitome of the
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Christian life is to be filled and controlled by the Holy Spirit Only when that happens will our families be what
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God wants them to be Amen end quote oh how
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True that is isn't it how true that is We have the wrong focus
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The focus should be is we should be saturating ourselves with the Word of God and can
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I say this So really in effect the Bible the Bible the B I B Le is the book for me.
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I'll stand alone in the Word of God the B. I B Le sounds simple doesn't it, but this is really the best book for marriage counseling right here
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The best and the only if you want wisdom if a husband and wife is having conflict
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Point them here to the Word of God. So really in effect the Bible is The greatest book this wonderful Holy book the
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Bible is the best and only book it when it comes to guidance and counsel and instructions and righteousness for marriage for anything in life for anything that pertains to life and godliness
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Peter says Praise God the Word of God now verse 7 a
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Verse Peter of 1st Peter gives us wise words Heavenly wisdom to husbands, and how they should live with their wives
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How should they live with their long wives and this is what we're going to be looking at submission to husbands and is the?
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responsibility and the duty given in this verse So the submission commanded to husbands though not submitting to his wife
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But as a leader a servant leader, I would say a Believing husband must submit to the loving duty of understanding and loving his wife.
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That's really the submission is To God he submits to God but he's submitting to God under God's authority as The head of the home as a servant leader and the command is to love his wife
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That's the command as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it. I Believing husband must submit to that loving duty and I say it's a duty
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Because a lot of times may not feel like it But you don't do it and then you do you don't do it and do it whatever because we don't go by feelings, right?
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We don't go by emotions. It's sacrificial love It's a love of feeling Not love.
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I'm sorry a love of willing not love of feeling So a being caring and gentle and being sensitive to the needs the fears and the feelings and Of his wife is to care for her in a loving way in an understanding way
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Well, there's three words. I like to set before you and I this is not original. I got this from MacArthur But they're simple and there's something for us to remember three
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C's There's consideration there's chivalry and there's companionship which is communion consideration chivalry and Companionship now, this is the word to husbands husbands.
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That's what we're to be would it be considerate would it be chivalrous and we to be
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Have companionship with our wife, which is communion So let's consider these three important Subjects as we look at what the scriptures has to say to husbands in these important matters of how husbands should love their wives
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Verse 7, let me read it again You husbands in the same way and like manner live with your wives in the understanding way
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Now the word live is is interesting, isn't it? Husbands will say well
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I live with her. Well, there's a lot of husbands that just may share the same house
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But that don't really live with her Scripture says dwell That's really a great translation.
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The godly husband lives dwells with his wife It doesn't necessarily mean just sharing a house, but truly lives with her in communion intimacy
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Not just sharing the same house, no He recognizes the great truth of Paul's teaching on marriage in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 28
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So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies and he who loves his own wife
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Loves himself That's what scripture says So the godly husband understands the essential unity and oneness
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There's a oneness the two shall become one Reminds me
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I've sent for the Keith a picture of this I was out doing some yard work and there was this Picture that God put right in front of me
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Is a large tree in our hat on our yard and this tree is grown up But it's literally two trees, but at the base it's one
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Now that sounds like a very simple analogy in an illustration, but that tree is one tree
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But it's grown up to be two But it's one There's a mystery in that isn't it?
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That trees one tree, but there's like two But it's two and one Well, isn't that what
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God has done? when he's put two different individuals together they become one flesh and That's the way
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God intends it to be to be working in unity and companionship in unison
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Ecclesiastes chapter 4 verse 9 through 12 gives us some wisdom on this. This is the preacher
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Wise Solomon once again two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor
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For if either of them falls the one will lift up his companion Then he says this but woe to the one who falls when there's not another to lift him up verse 11 furthermore if to lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone and If one can overpower him who is alone two can resist him a
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Cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart Companionship companionship
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God has designed the husband and the man and the wife the female the husband being the man the servant and The wife and The female to be two but one flesh.
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So that's what scripture says So their companionship the husband is to live to dwell with his wife in an understanding way he is to be considerate to her and to her needs and to her feelings and To understanding way, don't you love what
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Peter says right here? He says it Live dwell with your wives in a understanding way.
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So how is he to do this? Well, that's a good question, isn't it? How? Well, the text answers that question the husband is responsible for taking his understanding and applying it and Daily living and dwelling with his wife
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And can I say this and there's a footnote here. It seems that this is where us men
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Fall and have trouble The most conflict most of the conflict comes for the husbands is to follow through Because we may know this in our head and knowledge
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But applying it to our wives
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Is where we have trouble We must apply it Now they may have an understanding to some degree about their wives, but they don't use it as That they dwell and live with their own wives
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Now scripture gives us the instructions in righteousness. That's important, isn't it? But what's more important than just noting in our head?
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James says it be you doers of the word and not hearers only because if we just Hearing it and Not applying it not doing it not practicing it.
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It's it's like beholding ourselves in the mirror We just sit there and it's not going anywhere. The scripture wants us to lay this out bare and shoe -leather faith
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To practice it to walk it. That's what God talks about our character walking it living it
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Who we are but that's the most important thing is to imply the instructions that God gives us
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There's a reason he's given us the instructions So that we apply it to our personal daily living
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Now may God help us in this And I'm praying for God's help myself to practice this
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Submission obedience to God Shoe -leather faith and an understanding way Well, let's look at this
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Well an understanding way as With someone weaker as to someone weaker.
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What does that mean a weaker vessel? She's a weaker vessel Now here we see consideration
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The consideration is that the husband's is to be considerate to his wife because she's weaker
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Now, what does that mean weaker? Does it mean she's weaker spiritually by no means? She is fully equal in Jesus Christ The matter of fact, she just may be stronger than husband spiritually.
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She's not inferior Spiritually, why because she's a woman Galatians 328.
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There is neither Jew nor Greek. There's neither slave nor free There is neither male nor female
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For you are all one notice that one in Christ Jesus is talking about the heir of God in Jesus Christ This is your sister and speaking to husbands, this is your sister in Christ Spiritual children together in Jesus Christ heirs of God join heirs
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Heirs of God and join heirs of Jesus Christ So the in the context here in first Peter chapter 3 verse 7 the weaker vessel speaks of a woman's relative physical physical weakness in Comparison to men and that is proven that a man has a stronger physical physique
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Stronger built now there are in our day Sad to say a handful of women
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That's in the feminist group That are taking steroids That literally physically want to be stronger than men
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There are some cases there, but we know how out of line that they are right? That's not according to God's order, but most most likely and most
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Women women are weaker physically That's proven men aren't necessarily
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Stronger spiritually than the woman, but they are generally stronger physically generally And as Peter brought in the idea of woman's
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Feminine nature don't you love that the feminine nature of the woman? with the words of Of his wife he continues appreciating the feminine nature, and how a husband should respond to it
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Therefore a godly husband realizes whatever limitations his wife has physically say she has
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Limitations the husband has to come alongside in an understanding way and to be considerate to her
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This is just really 101 Christianity. It's simple that the husband should care
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For her and be considerate realizes whatever limitations he has and she has and and and he does not expect more from her than Is appropriate and kind so?
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Husbands in the same way dwell with your wives and understanding way as with someone weaker Since she is a woman and then what?
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To show her honor to show her honor because of being the weaker vessel the husband is to be her provider her provider
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That's considerate. I'm thankful. I'm a provider for my for my wife and for my family
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First Timothy 5 8 is a serious warning to all Believers especially men here
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You can turn with me there if you like, but as one scripture. It's a powerful scripture. It's one that we should memorize
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It's ones that it's a warning, but first Timothy Chapter 5 verse 8 chapter 5 verse 8 but the
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Apostle Paul, but if anyone does not provide for his own speaking of his own household and Especially for those of his own household.
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He has denied the faith. He has denied the fast serious he's denied the faith and He's what worse than a infidel what's that word infidel unbeliever a pagan
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That is that that's such a warning There's two warnings here
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The one that it's very serious and has been given in his verse that any believer who fails to obey this command is guilty of Number one is first denying the principle of compassionate
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Christian love. That's what he's denying That he's not providing Jesus provides for us.
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He provides all for us So not should not the husband
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Provide for his own wife in the same way Christ has provided for us in that That is referring to the needs by the way denying the principles of Christian compassionate love and the second warning is is being worse than an infidel that one right there really strikes hard Worse than a pagan worse than an infidel
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Serious very serious God's love always provides the husband's love should be providing and By the way, most pagans naturally fulfill this duty
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We see pagans out in our world today that even has some ethics now Will you realize today that work ethics is going down the tubes?
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Unfortunately, I know that sounds negative but look around us. It's it's true But we are to provide
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His husband's for our own wives If we don't we're worse than the infidel we disobey we behave worse than the pagans
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So husbands are to be providers providers in one way to honor his wife to honor his wife
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Now, let me bring up something here what Peter is speaking about And you might find interesting and Peter's day.
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This teaching was absolutely radical Why'd I say radical but it's really basic Christianity 101 and The ancient culture husband had absolute rights in that time period over his wife
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Completely absolute rights and the wife had virtually no rights whatsoever and Peter's writing this to believers and even in the marriage and now
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This word that Peter gives and instructions he gives those Revolutionary and why'd I say that in the ancient world because in the
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Roman world if a man Here's an example if a man caught his wife in an act of adultery
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He could have her killed on the spot But if a wife caught her husband she could do absolutely nothing against him that's the truth not fair and It wasn't fair but that just is an example of how wives and women were treated and Peter comes here and he turns it upside down with the duties and obligations and marriage and I just keep my imagine that time period
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I would be a very heavy burden for women But aren't you glad for the gospel?
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the gospel reverses it The gospel turns it all around The gospel brought liberation liberation to the women and Peter turns it all upside down so to speak through the
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Spirit of God now Peter teaches us that the husband has God ordained duties. These are
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God ordained duties and These are obligations toward his wife husbands
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Show her honor show her honor. I It's an action word, you know what that word show means demonstrate it to her.
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Just don't talk it demonstrate it. I Think a woman would love that a wife would love that just to see it demonstrated
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And not talking I keep my mouth shut a lot of times and just shut up and be a servant honor her
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Honor to the wife. That's a huge word, isn't it honor? Why as a fellow heir of the grace of life in marriage, this is the best earthly life
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Has to offer it's a little bit of heaven a little taste of heaven It's like the church, but first it starts in the home
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Right there in the church. Jonathan Edwards said this every home unit should be like a miniature church and That that's the microcosm of it and then it's carried over into the church
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Husbands show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life honor is given to his wife in action
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Demonstrate it demonstrate it a fellow heir of the grace of life marriage. This is the best earthly life
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Outside of this side of heaven. I'm sorry a man's attitude toward his wife
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Should recognize the fact that she is a fellow heir of the grace of life.
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I love that She's a fellow heir she's alongside with you a helpmeet
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To help you get through this life. That's her. That's her purposes to help and And submission and love as she loves the husband but the but overall
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The most important thing is for the husband to love his own wife as Christ loved the church now
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I want you to think about this in Comparison to our relationship to Jesus Christ and our and the husband's relationship with the wife and that Two shall be one.
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That's that's what Paul was talking about It's a mystery here and the beauty of this is the two shall be one
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We're in communion union with Jesus Christ and Jesus loves us and what Moses motivates us as believers
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To love him back and submit to Jesus It's his love
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His intimate love for us that can that can Paul says it compelled him.
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Oh That ain't that beautiful? So the fact that she is a fellow heir of grace, therefore the husband is to be strongly committed
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First to Jesus Christ to his master second to his marriage and third to his helpmeet how
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Ephesians 5 25 through 31 answers that and I'd like to get into that later on but we're not going to go there right now
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But I believe that has a great deal to do. He is to be sacrificial the husband is to be sacrificial in his love toward her as Christ was and he is to be submissive to Christ as Christ was submissive to the command of his father in giving her honor
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For they are heirs together Wayne Grudem says this in his commentary this reminds husbands that even though they have been given great authority within marriage their wives are still equal to them spiritually and privilege and eternal importance
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They are joint heirs end quote and then last we see that For the reason so that your prayers will not be hindered here the communion
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There is to be communion this refers specifically to husband's the husband's prayers Love leads the way
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Love leads the way when there's discord prayers are hindered When there's discord prayers are hindered
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Commentator big says this the size of the injured wife
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Come between the husband's prayers and God's hearing The size of the injured wife come between the husband's prayers and God's hearing most important biblically
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We have consideration We have chivalry and communion. That's what we looked at.
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Let me let me cap it off one more time on this Let's look at those words real quickly again because we need to get that I'm preaching to myself.
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I said Pastor David you need to get this Consider it consideration dwell with your wives according to knowledge
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What does that mean? The meaning of it is? Be sensitive be understanding be considerate
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Be sensitive understanding consider. This is how husbands are to love their wives Most women most women will say this about husbands.
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My husband never understands me My husband doesn't know where I'm at Even though I'm here.
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He doesn't really know me He's insensitive to my needs. We never talk
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He doesn't know what I feel. He doesn't know what I'm thinking about.
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He doesn't understand my hurts He doesn't really know me in that what most women wives say about their husbands.
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Yes That's what they say Peter says dwell live with your wives
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According to knowledge to understanding Basically be sensitive.
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I'm preaching to myself here. I need to be sensitive to my wife's needs I need to be understanding to her feelings to her.
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I'm devoted to her. I'm married to her in covenant love What she feels what she's about her interest
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It isn't what we get out of marriage, right? It's what we give That's where the reward comes
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That's where the blessing comes and we're going to look at more of that Lord willing next week. Oh as we look at verse 8 through 12
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Peter says to sum it all sum it up all of you be harmonious sympathetic brotherly
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Kind -hearted and humble in spirit not returning evil for evil or insult for insult But giving a blessing instead for you were called for this very purpose that you might inherit a blessing for and then he quotes a psalm the one who desires life to love and See good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit
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He must turn away from evil and do good He must seek peace and pursue it for the eyes of the
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Lord are toward the righteous and his ears attend to their prayers say there's the answer of The prayers being hindered right there
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Then God comes but the face of the Lord is again against those who do evil We're gonna look at that because I really believe he's speaking to husbands and wives in that context
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But we'll look at that more later dwell with the with the wives according to knowledge basically be sensitive and And understanding
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It's not what we get out of marriage. It's that counts. It's what we give What about chivalry?
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How about being chivalrous? That's that is a that's almost like a foreign word in our
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Culture today, isn't it? That's sad Can you say amen women, you know what
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I'm talking about? You just don't see chivalry It's as almost rare as dinosaurs
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It's almost it basically it's state but a God Fearing man a
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God -fearing husband a spirit -filled husband will give honor to his wife to the weaker vessel by being chivalrous
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In other words husbands realize physically and emotionally that they are stronger than the wives
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And he is to help in every way to be chivalrous. What is chivalry? Well, it's basically whatever happened to chivalry that's that's the question whatever happened to chivalry
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Well, it's being considerate. It's being kind. It's being showing good manners
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That's very plain and it's very practical Makes me think you could be you could be 20 feet down the driveway
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Why she still has one foot in the door and the husband will literally run to the door and open up the door and say here sweetie
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I Catch the door for you. I do my best to do that. Sometimes Teresa beats me to it, but She's pretty fast
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I Need to practice this myself we need to be chivalrous men
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Practice chivalry That's pretty simple last communion communion
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Being at air Together the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered Charles Spurgeon put it this way.
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Don't you love Spurgeon on a sermon? He preached on from first Peter 3
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Indeed he says indeed to true believers prayers is so invaluable That the danger of hindering it is used by Peter as a motive why in their marriage relationships and household concerns they should behave themselves with great wisdom and He bids the husband dwell with his wife according to knowledge and render loving honor to her lists their their united prayers should be hindered and Spurgeon's goes on to say anything which hinders prayer must be wrong
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Anything that hinders prayer must be wrong If any management of the family or want of management is injuring our power in prayer there is an urgent demand for an attention in quote
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Well, let me give you some application here. And I think this is what we need husbands,
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I Think the great command is is here and this is the application
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I'd like to pick up more on this, but I'm gonna put it in a nutshell We'll look at this more Lord willing next week
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But in application, I'm going to give this one application. I think this is enough is the great command
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This husband's to love your wives even as Christ loved the church And gave up himself for it that's the application can
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I say this What did Jesus how did he love his church he died for that's the kind of love
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That the husband is to have toward his wife It's a dying love Dying for someone is the most sacrificial act of submission possible
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Jesus said no greater love than this and a Man lays down his life for his friends and Jesus says you are my friends
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And he laid down his life Now I don't know about you as a husband as I'm speaking this that's convicting to me
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You know, we are to be considerate and show her honor.
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We are to be chivalrous show her honor But the prayers may not be hindered but the greatest and the greatest command here is to love our wives as Christ loved the church
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Dying love it's dying love It's the most sacrificial of all the husband loving his wife
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The standard is infinitely high, isn't it? It's too big actually, however
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The text in Ephesians 525 it speaks of is it talking about the full capacity of the divine love?
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Rather it's talking about the factors involved in the kind of Christ's love that he manifest
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Now what I mean by that it's obvious that there's no possible way we can match God's love, right?
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There's no way we can do it in quantity or quality But let me say this
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Even though that's impossible and it is impossible, but we are to have a love of a kind What do
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I mean by that? It's almost like if you look at the ocean you see the ocean the greatness and the vastness of ocean
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If you go to the beach on vacation, I don't know about you. I love ocean view Because it reminds me the infinite love of God like the ocean the low ocean is just so deep and large and then
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I go over there and I take a bucket and I Fill up that little bucket with the ocean that buckets full.
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Well, I think of myself being that bucket I got the ocean in the Just a part of that love of that great ocean infinite ocean in that little bucket
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But we can have that That bucket could be full So we may possess the ocean, but we
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I'm sorry We may not be able to possess the ocean, but we can't have a little of the ocean in the bucket a gap a love
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God defines love not as an emotion not as a feeling but it's a willing
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It's a willing love if we went by our feelings and emotions would be in trouble We'd be in serious trouble
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Any wonder why divorce rates are so high in our world. That's what they go by They feel like okay.
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I don't feel this warm fuzzy feeling anymore, and I'm gonna just divorce you That's why they are and divorce courts love it because it's money in their pocket
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Sad, isn't it? Well, there's a love of the
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Bible. That's not a feeling. It's an act of selfless love and Sacrifice and it's a gap a love.
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That's the highest love and you know that Anyone with the need is worthy of it. Let me illustrate this in one great chapter go to women
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John 13. I Think this would be the chapter for us to really practice and look at as we close
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John 13 Let me read just let me read through it now. I'll have a few comments
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Look at Jesus as he as he washes the disciples feet in chapter 13 of John now before the feast of the
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Passover Jesus knowing listen is knowing that his hour had come that he had he would depart out of this world to the
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Father He's about to go to the cross Having loved his own who were in the world.
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He loved them to the end notice what how begins how he loved them And guess what the text is going to tell us it's going to demonstrate how he loved us
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How he loved his own how he loved the disciples and then it says in verse 2 during supper the devil
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The devil having already put in the heart of Judas Iscariot the son of Simon to betray him
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Jesus knowing that the father had given all things into his hands and That he had come forth from God and was going back to God in verse 4 got up from supper
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Laid aside his garments Taking a towel look at the humility here
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They were just arguing about who's gonna be the greatest in the kingdom. He takes a towel He girded himself then he poured water.
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Look at the servant have been a servant. He's the master This is God in flesh Then he poured water into a basin began he began to wash the disciples feet and to wipe them with the towel
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And with which he was girded verse 6 so he came to Simon Peter and Simon wanted to be unsubmissive here at first.
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He said to him Lord. Do you wash my feet? Do you wash my feet?
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Jesus answered and said to him what I do you do not realize now, but you will understand hereafter
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And Peter said to him never shall you wash my feet. Could you imagine saying that to Jesus?
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Jesus answered him and said that Jesus's answer is powerful. If you if I do not wash you
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You have you have no part with me That got his attention
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Simon Peter said to him Lord didn't wash not only my feet, but also my hands and my head
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Jesus said to him he who has bathed bathed has bathed needs only to be wash his feet, but it's completely clean and You're clean, but not all of you for he knew the one who was betraying him for this reason
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He said not all of you are clean And so when he had washed their feet he had taken his garments reclined at the table again.
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He said to them do You know what I have done to you. What a question notice now
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Jesus is teaching him He's he's he's the master's teaching. Do you know what I've done to you?
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You call me teacher and Lord and you're right. So am I If I've been the
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Lord and the teacher washed your feet you also ought to wash one another's feet And notice what he says.
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It's exactly what Peter said For I gave you an example he didn't forget that did he
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For I gave you in an example that you also should do as I did to you Truly truly
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I say to you a slave is not greater than his master Nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him if you know these things and you are
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Blessed if you do them if you do them That's the key right there obedience
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I Do not speak of all of you. I know the ones I have chosen But it is the scriptures may be fulfilled
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And then he says this who eats my bread has lifted up his heel against me from now on I am telling you before it comes to pass so that when it does occur.
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You may believe that I am he Truly truly I say to you he who receives
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Whomever I send receives me and he who receives me receives him who sent me.
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What a lesson. What a lesson What is going on here because they Deserved this no, they didn't deserve it
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They were arguing who would be the greatest in the kingdom. There was spiritual pride present
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That by the way, they were on an ego trip who was gonna be at the top of the ladder in the kingdom of God Get this they were talking just arguing about who's gonna be the greatest in the kingdom
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They were totally and completely insensitive about Jesus himself the Savior the
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Lord the master of Him going to the cross because if you notice in the first of that chapter, he knew what he was come to do
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He was going he was about to depart out of this world to the father having loved his own who were in the world
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He loved him to the end and now he demonstrated it and they were completely insensitive to what who he was and what he was doing
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They were caught up what they're doing they were caught up in their self That's what spiritual pride is self
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They were on an ego trip They were insensitive to Jesus and what he was going to do going to the cross and in their self indulgence
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They refused to wash each other's feet But Jesus Demonstrated he starts washing their feet great lesson for us, isn't it?
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Jesus stepped down and great humility He washes their feet and here we see love demonstrated love is demonstrated husbands.
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This is what we to do Husbands is the love their wives in that way
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That's I'm so convicted about that And when he was done he said to them verse 34 look at verse 34 a
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New commandment I give to you a new commandment. I give to you that you have that you love one another as I've loved you
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How did Jesus love them? It wasn't by feelings wasn't it wasn't just emotional
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If anything, he probably felt deep pain. I would think he'd feel the scripture says he's a man of sorrows acquainted with grief.
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I Think he felt pain in his heart when he was teaching him sorrow indifference to him
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But in his sorrow and in his pain, he washes their feet He loves them to the end
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You know that love doesn't act out of what it feels does it? It does what is right it serves
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Where there's a need love acts love always acts love always demonstrates love goes the extra mile
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That's a shoe leather faith This is Christianity one -on -one Well, we don't see it doing it's sad
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In a marriage it isn't a matter of whether our partner deserves our love. It's a matter of sharing and giving love
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Because it's right. It's dutiful God commands it husbands The word is we need to die to ourself, right?
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Let's die to ourself It's easier said than done I'm saying that but we really need to die to ourself
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Wow, the world tells you to be the macho man to be the big shot Let everyone
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Anyone step on you don't let anybody step on my territory. I'm gonna fight you back fight you back resist
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Live for the moment The Bible says opposite The Bible teaches opposite what does it teach?
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Paul said this I died daily. I died daily It speaks about crucifixion
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The scripture talks about mortifying the flesh What does that mean? Put it to death and Romans Paul says put on the
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Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh No, it basically says make no room for it put it to death
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That's a tall order that's a command and by the way when the Spirit of God abides and dwells on it says that's going to happen
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Sanctification will happen This is opposite of what the world says, isn't it?
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Somewhere along the line if we're going to love our wives As God says we should
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We should love If we're going to love her as Christ who was willing to die
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Love the church, then we're going to have to make a sacrifice Go with me to one more chapter 1st
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Corinthians 13 Isn't this a convicting chapter But it's these 13 verses really summarize
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What God's love really is I? Think it's good for us as as husbands and wives to come together and always read this chapter.
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I Helping marriages, don't you? great commentary Look at what it says
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If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love
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I've become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have all faith as so to remove mountains
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But if I do not have love I am nothing that is so convicting and if I give all my possessions to feed the poor and If I surrender my body to be burned like a martyr, but I do not have love
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Prophets mean nothing And then he defines it look at verse 4 love is patient Love is kind and is not jealous
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Love does not brag. It's not prideful It's not arrogant It does not act unbecoming
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It does not seek its own Is not provoked does not take into account of a wrong suffered
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It forgives Does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth
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It bears all things that believes all things it hopes all things and endures all things
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Love never fails But if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away
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If there are tongues, they will cease if there is knowledge It will be done away for we know in part and we prophesy in part
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But when that when the perfect comes the partial will be done away when I was a child
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I used to speak like a child. I Think like a child reason like a child, but when
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I became a man, I did away with childish things in other words grow up For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face
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But I know in part But then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known but now faith hope and love
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Abide these three But the greatest of these is love the greatest is love
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Let's pray our Father in Heaven Lord help us.
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We thank you so much for this hour These wise instructions and righteousness as given through the
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Apostle Peter by your spirit the roles of duties and the husbands of to their wives and wives to their husbands and Extended passage on godly conduct within Christian marriages is
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Lord. I pray that every Christian couple that would be listening How critical it is that both husbands and wives should seek to love one another and their homes especially husbands
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Lord help us this is such a great command a
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Duty from you, but a command To love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for Lord I pray for wives
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As well as willing to submit to their own husbands just as Christ submitted to the father.
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Oh God may the husbands be submissive to you And given her consideration chivalry communion
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Companionship Lord we thank you God forgive us for failing
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Lord if we fail here we fail everywhere Help us Oh God With your blessed spirit to empower us and help us
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To obey this great command to love one another as you've loved us to demonstrate it and practical love and servant washing feet and our homes in the church and Even in the world and may we be a witness in a testimony to a fallen world
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Of your beauty and your holiness and your order and we ask this in Jesus name for your glory