Handling Troubled Relationships God’s Way: 1 Thessalonians 5:14

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The concern that I have is that this isn't just for this church or the church that I regularly attend, but I think across the board there is certainly in our country and across the world a loss of community due to dysfunction, whether that's community breakdown, family breakdown, disruption, technology moving, social media moving around the country, and dread not knowing how or where to form relationships.

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So you're not forming them. That's a very common thing. And I think that this is damaging to ourselves personally when we don't have community.

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We all need community. We need the Lord when we need community. We need each other, right? According to a recent study from Tennessee Temple University, the third most common mental disorder, third, okay, and I was surprised at this, is social anxiety.

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Social anxiety, that is the third most common. And 90 % of the cases, this year by the way, hot off the press, occur before the age of 23.

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90%. That's astounding. That is staggering. That is hard to wrap your mind around how penetrating that is and damaging to our society.

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And a recent article in USA Today I saw claims that young people are afraid to make the first move in romantic relationships for fear of rejection.

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This is becoming more and more of a problem. There's a new AI device my wife showed me called

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Friend. It's literally called Friend. And you hang it around your neck and it's an

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AI device and it just listens to what you say and tries to be your friend. If you spill water on it or something, it'll say, you know, something, it'll react to it.

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And I mean, I thought, I wish I was making this up. I thought it was a parody. It's not.

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This is a real device that's out there. This says something about who we are and I don't think it's a good thing.

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So this mentality impacts every institution in our society and I think that includes the church. And you know, have you ever wanted to avoid someone because of fear of judgment or unresolved conflict?

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There's some rejection element and it's just, and sometimes maybe you'd rather just not go to church. You'd rather not see that person.

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This is a common thing to all humans, but I think it's been exasperated. And we're getting to the point, there's an old song from my parents' generation by Simon and Garfunkel called

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I Am A Rock. You know, the guy kind of holds up in his room. He doesn't want to go outside. He doesn't want to see anyone.

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He doesn't want to get hurt. He doesn't want the pain of that, that that causes. And I think that's describing more and more how many people in our current generation are.

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But the fact is, we cannot escape that we are social creatures and we need community. And as believers, we need the church community especially.

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This is wired into how we function. It's just, you can't tamper with it really.

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It's just, that's going to come out somewhere. And God commands us to bear each other's burdens,

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Galatians 6, use our spiritual gifts for the building of the body, 1 Corinthians 12, teach, admonish, and sing to one another just as we were just doing,

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Colossians 3, and ultimately to love one another, John 13. These are all one another's and responsibilities that we have to our fellow

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Christian, right? We ignore these to our own peril. And obviously you're here because you take these things seriously on some level.

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You want to be with believers, which is a good thing. And the good news is that God, God has given us each other.

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He's also given us Jesus Christ. He's our friend. You don't need the AI little thing, right? John 15, 15 says, no longer do

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I call you slaves for the slave does not know what his master is doing, but I've called you friends, Jesus speaking to his disciple.

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I've called you friends. For the things I've heard from my father, I've been known to you. So, there's an intimacy that we should have as Christians with Christ.

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And then of course, we have each other. John, or rather Hebrews chapter 10, verse 24 says, let's consider how to encourage one another in love and good deeds, not abandoning our own meeting together as is the habit of some people, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

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And so I conclude from this, that the church should be the best place for those struggling with social anxiety.

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This is the place that ought to be where there is a love and acceptance and when necessary correction that we need at various times in our own lives.

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And sometimes we need to be the ones giving those things. So, I'm going to talk about protocol a little bit, protocol and relationships, how to navigate relationships, because I think this is one of the things that holds people back and may hold us back at times from the full expression of interaction that we should have with others, especially believers.

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It can be challenging to navigate relationships, right? It can be, it's a lot of work.

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First of all, it's time commitment. It can, some people can really grate on you too.

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Sometimes they're related to you and you, you know, you're sleeping next to them, right? And you're not me. Some of you might,

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I don't know. And, you know, you have these relationships and you know you're acquired by God, but it just, it's hard work.

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I don't know if I want to put that work in, right? So, you grow apart. But God has given you each other as a gift.

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And I think often, I'm not saying it's in every case, but often it's unresolved bitterness that leads to the loss of friendships and the loss of community, even in the church.

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But scripture offers a valuable guide for us on handling relationships. And I think avoiding some of these pitfalls, sometimes it can't be avoided.

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Sometimes you might have a friend that you've had for a long time and there's, there's an impasse and it might be sin related, but, but oftentimes there are ways to approach these things.

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And scripture gives us some real guidance on this in 1 Thessalonians 5, I think. And by following these principles that we're going to talk about, we can approach our interactions,

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I think, with confidence, with assurance, and with Godliness, and maybe even restore some of the brokenness that has come to our own communities, whether inside or outside of church.

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So I should probably give you a little background to the book of Thessalonians, just briefly, so you know who

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Paul's writing to. Thessalonica is in modern day Greece, off the coast of the Aegean Sea.

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And in Acts 17, we find that Paul and Silas traveled to Thessalonica on his second missionary journey.

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And he made many converts among the Jewish people there. He went to the temple first, that's what Paul usually did. And a number of Greeks came to the

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Lord, and it says the leading women who lived in the city. But the Jews, along the leadership, along with some wicked men, decided that they were jealous and they didn't like Paul there.

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And so they formed a mob and Paul had to leave. And he goes to Berea. And eventually, later on, he keeps traveling.

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He sends Timothy, he's in, he later eventually, when he writes this, he's in Corinth, but he sends

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Timothy to Thessalonica to check on the spiritual well -being of the church he had planted there, right?

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So he goes there, plants a church, has to escape, and then he sends Timothy back to check up, how's the church actually doing there?

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And Timothy brought back a positive report we see in chapter 3, verse 6,

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I'll just read that briefly, which says, but Timothy has come to us from you and has brought us a good news of your faith and love that you always think kindly of us, longing to see us just as we also long to see you.

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So things are going pretty good at the church of Thessalonica for the most part. So Paul writes this letter, first Thessalonians, to provide encouragement to them, to keep going, keep doing what they're doing, instruction, and to clarify some doctrinal issues, especially regarding those who died before the second coming of Christ and needed some comfort.

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They were concerned, what happens to those who have died before Christ comes back? Are they, where do they go?

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And so Paul gives them some instruction, some encouragement, because their hearts needed it. The key verse,

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I think in the whole book, is in chapter 5, verse 11, it says this, therefore, encourage one another and build one another up just as you also are doing.

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So keep doing what you're doing. This is like very different than some of Paul's letters, like to the Corinthians, where he's just saying, you guys messed up here, you messed up here, you messed up here.

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This is different. He's saying, you guys are doing it right, keep doing it, keep doing it. And that's really what

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I'm here to say. Keep going, keep doing what you're doing, keep coming together, keep coming to church, keep fellowshipping, keep making connections and interactions in each other's lives, build each other up, edify each other, encourage each other, right?

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So there's a running theme in this book of loving one another, and I'll give you a few verses about, related to that from the passage, from the book.

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Chapter 3, 12 through 13, says, and may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another.

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The pinnacle of this, I think, is chapter 4, verses 9 through 12. Now, as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to write to you.

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You yourself are taught by God to love one another. He goes on, skipping down to verse 12, so that you will behave properly towards outsiders and not be in need.

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So he's, the love command extends not just to the church, but also to outsiders. There's a special love we have in the church.

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We have an in -group preference, so to speak. We have, we prefer each other. We're Christians. We have a shared love of Christ.

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We also have a love for those who are outside the church. And the principles I'm going to give you today apply inside and outside.

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Love and intimacy is talked about, chapter 4, verse 4. Love and death, chapter 4, 18.

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Love concerning the day of the Lord and people who are concerned about tribulation that's coming. What happens?

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Paul says in verse 11 of chapter 5, encourage one another, build up one another, just as I read, just as you are also doing.

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This is, you know, this is in reaction to angst and concern and needing comfort.

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It's in regards to submission of authority, the very next verse, verse 12 in chapter 5.

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We request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, right?

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We can go down to verse 14, and this is what we're going to focus on more today.

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Admonish the unruly, encourage the faint -hearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. You know, people who have issues and problems, as all people do.

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This is how you love them. Why do I say that? Well, because it says that, see that no one repays evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.

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That which is good. You're seeking their best interest. That's the epitome of love. And this has an outward expression, which we're not going to talk about today in detail, because there's a debate over it, but verse 26 of chapter 5, grieve all the brethren with a holy kiss.

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I've come to the determination that a holy handshake or hug is just fine, but especially when we get to flu season.

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In fact, it might not be loving to do the holy kiss in that particular period of time. But the nature of these commands in verse 14, which is where we're going to camp out, are comprehensive.

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And in other words, this really does affect all of human activity. The problems we have, the situations we encounter, they can really be summed up in the various categories that God gives us.

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They're also part of loving others. And it applies to relationships with unbelievers.

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It says, and for all people. So we should encourage, we should admonish, we should help because we want to love others.

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And this is going to apply to every bit of human activity that we encounter. Now there's some prerequisites for this.

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You want to know how to love others. You want to know how to specifically treat the people in your lives that need help, that need encouragement, that need admonishment, whatever they need.

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You need to have a few things in order first. It says that we must be resolved.

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Why do I say that? Because Paul says, we urge you. He says, we urge you. You don't have to urge someone to do something when it comes easy to them.

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You don't have to urge someone to go eat the good, scrumptious food we're going to have.

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I urge you to eat from the, I don't know what we're having, but the burgers, whatever we're having, is it burgers?

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It's burgers. Okay. I didn't know if it was filet mignon or something. I mean, you definitely don't need any urging.

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But this, you have to be urged to do. So Paul says that he urges us.

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So we must be resolved. First of all, we have to be committed. Secondly, we need to see that this is our Christian duty, not just some helpful advice.

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Okay. This is the word of God. This isn't giving us some, I don't know, any of you at your job training, or if you're in a management position, they make you go to these goofy meetings.

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And they give you the principles of leadership, what you're supposed to do and not do, and little tricks of the trade, which really all come down to how to motivate people to do something that they don't want to do and make them like it.

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That's a lot of our corporate leadership training. This isn't that.

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This isn't just some, you know, this isn't like Machiavellian in the sense of we're just trying to manipulate people into doing something.

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No, this is a real relationship we're talking about. We're involved in each other's lives, not for some purpose, but because people are the purpose.

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And then we need to understand someone's condition to know how to treat them. So we have to know them well enough to know what applies.

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You know, you don't want to admonish someone who needs help. You need to make sure you have the right, the right cure, the right administer, the right treatment for whatever the ailment is.

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So let's start, let's just be really practical. We're going to go through each of these in depth from verse 14.

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First it says, admonish the unruly, admonish the unruly. In the ESV, it says admonish the idle.

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In the KJV translation, it says warn them that are unruly. In the

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Young's Literal translation, it says admonish the disorderly. And all of these are getting at something specific.

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The word for unruly is often used in military contexts to talk about disorderly retreats.

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The word unbridled is a synonym here, subject to passions and errors without law or order.

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This is someone who really wants to color outside the lines. This is someone who doesn't submit to authority or live in peace.

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As verse 12 and 13 talk about, there is a rebellious element present that ingrains whatever problem this person has.

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And there's a difference between someone who desires to change and someone who does not.

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Have you ever noticed that? Someone might have a problem. Let's say it's a drinking problem. This is a problem that affects a lot of people.

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And I have friends who have gone through this. It's a very hard thing to go through once you get hooked on something, whether it's alcohol or something else.

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And there are certain people you can talk to and you know they want to quit. They don't want it anymore.

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They can see the negative effects. They feel guilty. If they're a Christian, they know they're in sin. They don't want to do it anymore.

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And they need help. They need encouragement. They need some kind of a resource to come alongside.

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They don't need to be hit on the head with a hammer. They need to know that you're there. Well, there's other kinds of people.

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You might even think of examples in your mind. They have a problem and that attitude's not present.

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And they might even know it's destroying their lives, but the willingness isn't there. They don't want to quit.

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And they're content being irrelevant. They're content coloring outside the lines. They're content not living within the order that God has given to mankind by which to live.

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So when we talk about unruly, that's who we're talking about. This is why in Scripture you see the rod of discipline is used for children.

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And my little Anna wouldn't do anything wrong. Okay, at least not yet. I hope that that continues throughout her life because she's just,

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I told Danielle even this morning, I said, something's not right with this. Our daughter is perfect.

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And I know you and I aren't perfect. So what's going on here? Well, she'll get older and we'll probably have to use some corrective measures at some point because she'll be unruly, right?

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Whether it's throwing your food all over the place as most kids do at some points or just disobeying a direct instruction from mom and dad.

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This is why though, on a more serious level, the sword is used for criminals. We have civil punishments for people who break the law because they're unruly.

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They don't live within the guidelines and the rules that we've decided society should operate by for good work.

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These are unruly people. Now the archetype for the unruly, I think we find in Proverbs, okay?

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And Proverbs calls this kind of person, guess what Proverbs calls the unruly person, do you know? There's a word, you see it all throughout

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Proverbs, a fool. A fool. And let me just give you a run through a few

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Proverbs here. A fool is someone who despises wisdom, Proverbs 1 -7. A fool is someone who does what is right in their own eyes,

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Proverbs 12 -15. They're arrogant and they're careless, Proverbs 14 -16.

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They reject discipline, Proverbs 15 -5. A fool loses his temper,

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Proverbs 29 -11. And a fool rages or laughs at wisdom, Proverbs 29 -9.

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This is describing a specific kind of person and you'll come across this kind of person in your daily lives.

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All of you have already come across this person at some point who wants to do it their way.

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I had a friend, well, mentor friend was an older man years ago.

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Remember he told me, you know, there's smart people and there's wise people. And smart people, they have to learn from their own mistakes.

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Wise people learn from other people's mistakes, right? I tend to be pretty smart. But the fool is a step down from this.

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The fool doesn't learn from even his own mistakes. The fool just keeps going on the same default setting.

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Now, regardless of our hierarchical duties, in other words, whether you're a manager, a pastor, whatever, you know, wherever you kind of land in an authority structure, regardless, you could be at the bottom of the authority structure.

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You could be working for the man on the bottom level. Regardless of that, you have a duty to admonish people that you love on some level.

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What does it mean to admonish? Well, I'm glad you asked. It's the Greek word eupheo. And it means to cause the appeal to the moral consciousness to gain a hold over men and bring them to repentance and shame.

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There's a corrective element to this. It's not punishment. You're not the civil magistrate coming in and saying, this person broke the law.

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I'm going to punish them. That's not what this is talking about. This is appealing to them, to their moral consciousness, hoping it's still intact.

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They gain a hold over men, over them, and bring them to repentance. This is a loving thing.

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You want them to change, to shift, to stop, to start going in the right direction, to stop hurting themselves and others.

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That's what admonishment is. Let me give you a quote from John Calvin. I thought this is such a great quote.

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Listen to this. And just to put things in perspective, this is from hundreds of years ago.

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Have people changed? No. People haven't changed. Listen to this. The term admonition, he says, is employed to mean sharp reproof, sharp reproof, such as may bring them back into the right way, for they are deserving for greater severity.

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In other words, you're preventing them from getting worse. There's something that's going to happen to them. It's going to be worse for them.

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They're going to fall into the error of their ways. God's going to punish them. They're going towards a cliff.

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And you're trying to intervene. You're saying, don't go towards that cliff. That's what he's saying here. He says, they cannot be brought to repentance by any other remedy.

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It is therefore to no purpose that those that are obstinate and intractable demand that they be soothingly caressed inasmuch as remedies must be adapted to diseases.

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Let me translate this. What he's saying is the unruly want to be caressed.

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They don't want you to admonish them. They want to be soothed. They want you to appease them. They want you to validate what they're doing.

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That's how they operate. That's what John Calvin is saying here in his observation of this verse. He's saying, this is my experience.

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This is what they do. The fool wants to be validated. He wants to be soothingly caressed.

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And the problem is that doesn't cure his disease. Have you ever had a bad ailment, physically speaking, and the cure really hurt?

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Maybe you broke a bone. You know how much it hurts to set a bone? I don't.

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I fractured some bones. I've never broken a bone. But I've seen in the movies and stuff, when they set a bone, it's screaming, right?

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Especially those old Civil War movies or something where they don't have any anesthesia. They say, bite down on this.

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Well, the thing is, if you don't actually go through that process, what happens?

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It heals incorrectly, and you will be a cripple the rest of your life. And it's the same way here with spiritual problems, with emotional problems.

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With the issues that people have that they are stubborn about, sometimes they have to go through a process that hurts.

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They need correction. You need to share some hard words with them. Or if you're that person, someone needs to share some hard words with you, to get your attention, to shake you up.

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Because if you don't wake up, it's going to be much worse for you. That's why this is loving.

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This is often seen as judgmental. How could you make someone go through something hard for them?

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No, this is because you love them. That's why you do it. And if you have friends that are unwilling to do this for you, they're not friends.

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Now, there's a limit to this. In the noun form, the word here, the verb to admonish, is used in Titus 3 .10

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to talk about heretics. And this is what it says. Reject a factious man after a first and second warning.

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The word warning there is the noun form of this word for admonition. It's saying you do it once, you do it twice, someone who's divisive, and you stop doing it.

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You don't do it anymore. Proverbs 23 .9 talks about this. It says, Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words.

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Proverbs 9 .7 says something similar. He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself, and he who reproves a wicked man gets insult for himself.

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So what does this mean? This means, this takes wisdom and prudence, but there does come a time where if someone continually rejects the instruction they're given, you have to let them go.

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You have to let them, and it's sad, because you are going to watch them go to their own peril.

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But there's nothing you can do about it, and you're wasting your time, and you have other people that God's given you responsibility for in your life that you must turn your attention toward.

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And let the Lord deal with that person. The Lord's gonna have to do something. You can't. So there is a limit to this, but this is a duty that we do have.

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And before we reach that limit, we need to be willing to correct people that are going to hurt themselves because of their own foolishness.

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So this takes some wisdom. This takes knowing a person, whether or not they're being unruly or not.

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The second instruction here is, encourage the faint -hearted. In the King James, it says, comfort the feeble -minded.

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Faint -hearted literally means little -minded or little -souled, someone of small courage.

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In the Septuagint, which is the Greek translation of the Old Testament, it translates, Proverbs 114, using this word, it says, the spirit of a man can endure his sickness.

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Sickness there being the same faint -hearted, feeble -minded. But as for a broken spirit, who can bear it?

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So this is someone who could be physically feeble -minded.

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This is someone who can be, I suppose, mentally feeble -minded. But this is someone who has, all the wind's been taken out of them.

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I think many of us in this room have experienced tragedy in those church houses. You ever feel like just the wind has taken out of you?

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Your soul feels so small. You don't have strength. You don't know how you're going to get up the next day because something so earth -shattering has happened, circumstantially.

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Or maybe it's your own sin. You've been caught. You've been caught and you have no strength to stand on.

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Well, what does that person need? Well, scripture says encouragement, which means to speak to someone in a friendly way.

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There's a gentle quality to this. And there's another word in the

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New Testament that's often used for encouragement, much more often, and it has a broader range, which can also include things like exhortation, which is a little more aggressive,

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I suppose, for comforting someone. This is not that word. This is a word that is friendly and gentle.

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You're coming alongside that person because they need you as a support right there next to them.

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I was reading in the word book of the New Testament that there's a,

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I guess when this word is translated into the Septuagint, the translation of the Old Testament into Greek, this concept often comes up of comforting.

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And there's a Jewish, I guess, more like tradition in how to comfort someone, especially in times of grief and mourning.

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And comforters always stayed as near as possible to the sorrow, it says, and if possible in the house of mourning.

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They also accompanied them wherever they went so as not to leave them alone in their grief and in their particular perils of the first days of sorrow.

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The period of consolation extended to the first seven days after death. So in a time of grief when you've lost someone, if you're in the

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Jewish tradition, if you're going to encourage them, you're stuck to them. You're right by them.

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Whatever needs they have, you're there to help meet them. And so there's a proximity, a closeness to this.

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You run towards them, not away from them to avoid whatever baggage that might entail. No, you go towards them.

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Now this is what Paul was doing for the Thessalonians. It says in chapter two, verses 11 through 12, you know how we were exhorting, it says, and encouraging.

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There's the word. And imploring each one of you as a father would his own children so that you would walk in a manner worthy of God who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.

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This is how the apostle treated the Christians in Thessalonica. This is how we ought to treat one another. Now there are different ways to move toward, move someone towards a goal, right?

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Sometimes when you're driving, you need to push hard. Ambulances do this, right? You got someone sick in the back, you're going to, you might even violate some safety laws for a greater concern, a bigger concern, because you need to get someone to the hospital, right?

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In an ambulance, you need to push hard. And other times you need to just take that slow, relaxing drive on a scenic route.

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Take your time, take a deep breath, enjoy the flowers, understand who you are, who

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God is, right? These both, in both cases, you're driving, but in either case, you have a different purpose in mind as you're driving.

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Different ailments require different cures. And one of the negative things

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I've seen sometimes when this gets out of order is in sometimes

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Christian, or I should say more biblical counseling circles, this can sometimes happen. Sometimes it's called euthetic counseling, and I wouldn't in large part agree with the ideas behind euthetic counseling, but when it's abused, what happens is this.

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Someone has a problem, right? And they need, they're faint hearted, they need encouragement, and they go to their counselor, whether it's informally, or you go to a formal

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Christian counselor. You say, I have this problem, I'm faint hearted. And the counselor says, well, we need to find what sin that you have.

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We need to locate that sin, and then we're going to admonish you. Well, what happens in that scenario is you're treating someone who's faint hearted like they're actually unruly.

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And in so doing, you can break their spirit more. You can discourage them further, right?

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They don't need you to tell them necessarily where they went wrong in every particular circumstance, and why you're terrible.

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Maybe they even are aware of their sin. You don't need to be more aware of it in that moment. They just need to know that you're there, okay?

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That's someone who's faint hearted. Now, the last, or the second to last, well, the last specific instruction before we get to the general instruction of being patient with all is help the weak, help the weak.

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This means support the weak, that's what the KJV says, or Young's Little Translation, support the infirm, you know, to someone who's physically weak.

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Matthew 25, 36 says, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick, there's the word, and you visited me.

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Romans 14, 1 says, now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions.

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And in this context, this word refers to someone who has weak or less mature faith. So, spiritual weakness, physical weakness, this is someone who needs help.

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This is someone who, they're drowning, and they need you to throw them a line, okay? The word help here means to hold fast to.

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There's a sense of loyalty and security in it. There's a parallel verse in Luke 16, verse 13, which says, no servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted, there's the word, to one and despise the other.

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That devotion that you have, that Jesus is talking about in a different context to a master, is the help.

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Same concept here of being devoted to, having loyalty to, you're in it with them.

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And the concept here, I think, is expressed well in Galatians chapter 6, verse 1, which says, brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, each one looking to yourself so that you will not be tempted.

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So we have admonish the unruly. We have encourage the faint -hearted. That's the person who needs to get jump -started.

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And then we need, we have help the weak. This is a person, they're in the process, okay? They know there's some difficulties, they're in the process of overcoming these difficulties, and they need you to help provide resources to them.

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They need to know that you're loyal to them, that you're there, and you're going to provide your resources, your energy for their, towards their particular problem.

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They need a lifeline. So helping the weak, you know,

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I think of this in terms of, on a physical level, someone who, let's say, is on crutches, or, you know, they broke their leg, you know,

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I'll take the bone breaking example again. They might need someone to come alongside them. There's a practical problem that they need remedied.

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And so you come alongside them, and you help them walk, right? This is what it means to help the weak. Someone who's struggling with an addiction, and you say,

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I'll be your accountability partner. I'll come, I'll be right there with you. I'm not just here to comfort you.

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I'm here for practical help. I'm going to provide some resources to help you get out of this, all right? And at different times, we need friends who do function in these different capacities, admonishment, encouragement, and help.

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Now the last part, and this is for, I guess John already went outside, I was going to say this is the part, go fire up the grill for the church picnic, because he wanted to know when

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I was going to end, and this is the last part of it. In the process of all of this, you need to be patient with all, all right?

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No matter what situation you're in, whether it's, you need to encourage someone, you need to admonish someone, you need in all those situations to be patient.

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And I want to quote Calvin again on this, because I think this is just such a great insight, and I don't have a better way of expressing it.

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He says, the man who has once and again comforted a person who is fainthearted, if he is called to do the same a third time, will feel

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I know not what vexation, even indignation, that will not permit him to persevere in discharging his duty.

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In other words, he's saying, even someone who is fainthearted and just needs you to encourage them, it can get exhausting.

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Man, it's like the third time that they called you and they're just fainthearted. Say, this can be, say

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I already encouraged you, you should be well, right? You should be, you should be over this hump. And he says, we still have a duty.

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If by admonishing or reproving, we do not immediately do the good that is to be desired, we lose all hope of future success.

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So you think, is this person ever going to get better? Paul had a view, though, to bridle impatience with this nature by recommending to us moderation towards all.

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So we should have a general spirit in all these things of long suffering. And this is the same spirit Christ has towards us.

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When we keep making the same mistakes, what does Christ do? He looks upon us, and as long as, you know, we're not being unruly anymore, we've turned the corner and we are, we're humble before it.

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What does that mean? God resists the crowd, gives grace to the humble. If there's humility there, God has a grace that,

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I mean, it's immeasurable. It never ends. It never ceases. There's no depth you can go to and the grace isn't there anymore.

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And that's the same kind of attitude we should have. An unending amount of patience with men who want to change, but have a hard time doing it, or want to get out of a period of even grief.

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And they're just, they're struggling with it, or even a physical ailment, and they're struggling. And this is something we need.

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We are creatures of impatience. This is a human bent, a sinful bent, but it is a bent that we all have.

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I had it this morning as I was coming here, with two particular vehicles. And I understand,

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I understand, you know, I'm not really a road rage guy, but I can sort of, in certain moments, I can get in the head of someone who is, and I can see,

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I know why that person, why you might be mad. Someone's, they're keeping you from your goal, right? And you want this person to do something and they're not doing, but we need patience, just like God has.

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That's how each of the preceding instructions Paul gives should be carried out. So here's the conclusion. Let me read for you the verse one more time.

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Verse 14, we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the faint -hearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone, see that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.

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This is for us in our relationships in church. This is for you on the job. This is for you in whatever social institution you're part of out there in society.

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This is a triage to help you know how to manage, how to approach the different problems, struggles, even the fear of awkwardness you might have with someone and approaching them.

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You have specific guidelines for how to approach these situations in Scripture. And so there's really no excuse for not having a community.

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This is what community is based on. We help each other. We encourage each other. We love each other. It takes work.

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It takes some discipline. It takes being involved in each other's lives. It takes inviting each other to each other's house and whatever, going out to lunch.

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Whatever you do, whatever activities you're involved in, it takes some interaction. You got to know that someone has these, as we all do, has some of these struggles, ailments, sin problems.

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But then once you know that, you help each other and it's mutual. So this will help you love people better.

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It will build borders to your relationships and wisdom beyond the church relationships. And it will draw, it will help draw you close to others.

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And most of all, this is the main point Paul's I think making, it will help you point others to Christ. Because that's what really matters most of all.

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In all these things, you are pointing people to the person that really, truly can help them.

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I'm not someone who has a immeasurable amounts of patience because I'm a sinful person, but I know who does.

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And we can point people to that person, Jesus Christ, and we reflect that person's nature in our own lives as we obey him.

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So I hope this helped you. I hope this encouraged you. Maybe it admonished some of you and you're thinking through your own relationships.