Marriage According to Jesus

Grace Fellowship Church

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This sermon is from Grace Fellowship Church in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. To access other sermons or to learn more about us, please visit our website at graceedmonton .ca.

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Well, this afternoon we're in Mark chapter 10 and we are literally and figuratively turning to a new chapter in the life and ministry of the

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Lord Jesus Christ leading up to his final days in Jerusalem.

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As we already know, for the last nine chapters of Mark, we have been with Christ, as it were, at the edge of the

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Sea of Galilee and the fertile hills surrounding that scenic lake. We've been on the

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Mount of Transfiguration with Christ, high above Caesarea Philippi, and now the scene is changing again, and I alluded to this a few weeks ago.

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As Christ makes his way now south, he's going to take us into Judea, the very heart of Israel, the corrupt core.

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He's going to inch us closer and closer to the corrupt core of political and religious power in the nation.

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As we might expect, as our Lord nears the very city that he will be put to death in,

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Jesus is now going to be increasingly confronted with tests and attacks at the hands of the religious leaders.

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As Christ's divine mission comes to an end, the confrontational nature of his ministry is going to escalate to a crescendo, at which point, as we know, he will go to Calvary, where he will be nailed to the cross.

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He will be hoisted up. My mind thinks of something like a divine lightning rod, high above the temple mount, beneath the dark sky of God's displeasure, and there he will be forsaken by man and forsaken by God alike.

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That's where we're headed. That's where Christ is headed. But before we get there, what we're going to find is that Christ is going to be tested repeatedly by his contemporaries.

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And that brings us to the very point that we're at today in Mark chapter 10 and verse 1.

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We're going to find Christ here enduring the first wave of this increasing opposition at the hands of the

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Jewish religious leaders. And at the very forefront of this attack, we should not at all be surprised that the focal point of this offensive is the family.

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The very first attack, as Christ enters into Judea, is this God -ordained relationship between a man and a woman that we call marriage.

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It's a relationship that's been under attack since Genesis chapter 3, when

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Satan went to Eve and not Adam in the garden. It's the very same relationship that is under increasing attack today as Christians, as men and women in the world.

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And so, as Christ makes his way south, the religious leaders and some of their entourage are going to begin to question

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Christ about some of the most controversial topics of the day. They're going to bring him marriage and what else could be as important as children and money.

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And so, for today's purposes, we're going to look at the first two and leave the question of money and wealth to next week.

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And what we're going to see is Christ interacts with these leaders in these first 17 or 16 verses of Mark chapter 10 is this.

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That we're going to get a crash course on what I am calling marriage according to Jesus.

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You'll remember a number of years ago, John MacArthur wrote a book, The Gospel According to Jesus, The Gospel According to Paul.

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Well, today we're going to get marriage according to Jesus. And this is what we're going to see, that in stark contrast to the traditions of men and the opinions of powerful people, what

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Christ is going to do, even as he teaches on this difficult topic of divorce, is he's going to reveal the beauty of biblical marriage.

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Marriage that is informed by and anchored to the precepts of Holy Scripture rather than the changing tides of public opinion.

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And as we unpack this, you'll see in the bulletin insert, if you'd like taking notes, that we're going to look at five principles that I really want to draw from the text.

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Five principles of marriage according to Jesus Christ. And because it's a five -point sermon, we're going to get right into it.

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I promise the points are shorter. So you know I can preach a two -point sermon for one hour.

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I'm not going to keep us for two and a half hours. So we'll begin by reading Mark chapter 10 verses 1 to 6.

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And he left there and went to the region of Judea, beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again.

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And again, as was his custom, he taught them. And Pharisees came up, and in order to test him, asked,

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Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? He answered them, What did Moses command you?

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They said, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.

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And Jesus said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment.

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But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Therefore, I'll read verse 7 as well, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.

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From this text, the first principle that I want to draw out is this. It's this.

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Marriage is a union defined by God's word. Now, where do

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I get that? I'm going to show you. Marriage is a union. Marriage according to Jesus is no more and no less than marriage according to the

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Bible. And I'm going to show you how that is. So let me set the scene. In Mark chapter 10 and verse 1,

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Jesus enters into Judea, which is essentially Old Testament Judah in the south of Israel.

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This here was the home of Jerusalem, of the temple of Yahweh, of the city of David, the location of the

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Old Testament royal palace, which stood opposite the temple across the

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Tyropean Valley. And as was his custom, Jesus Christ taught the people.

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He came to this region to dispense the truth by preaching and teaching from the word of God.

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It's reminiscent, if we think all the way back to Mark chapter 1 in verse 38, where he says there, Let us go on to the next town that I may preach there also, for that is why

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I came. And so as Christ is there in Judea now preaching and teaching, he was approached by members of the

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Pharisee party, a strict sect of the Jews. We've spoken about them many times before. They prided themselves in being uncompromising adherents to the old covenant law.

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And the question that they put to Christ was this. We've read it already. Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?

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It sounds pretty basic, doesn't it? Not that controversial. In Matthew 19 and verse 3, he recounts a few more of the details.

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He asks the question, is it lawful, or they ask the question, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?

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Now we might not appreciate it today, but the Pharisees here, what they were doing is they were laying a minefield before the

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Lord Jesus. The Pharisees knew exactly what they were doing, and Christ knew exactly what they were doing as well.

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Here the Pharisees were putting before Jesus one of the most controversial and hotly debated topics, not only in the world today, but in Jewish culture, in Jewish society some 2 ,000 years ago.

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Think about this. If you're going to oppose Christ as he comes into your region, what's the first question you're going to answer with?

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You're going to hit with the hardest blow that you can at the very first. And that's exactly what they do.

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This was a hotly debated question in Jewish society. The question of divorce.

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In fact, this was, if we remember all the way back, or a little ways back to Mark 6, this was the very reason that John the

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Baptist was beheaded by Herod and Herodias for this very topic of marriage and divorce.

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And so if you were to put yourself in Christ's position as he comes into Judea, and the Pharisees are asking this question, picture yourself in this position.

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You're at work, maybe, if you're employed. Maybe, children, if you're at school. You're in the classroom.

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And someone asks you, in front of all of your colleagues, in front of your boss, in front of your classmates, what is your opinion on gay marriage?

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Now, what are you going to do? Are you going to stand up and speak for what is good and righteous and true?

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Or are you going to capitulate and bow to the social pressure that you're under and say, well, maybe

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I agree with what the mainstream agrees with? And here what we have is this.

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Christ is standing before the Pharisees with this question. Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?

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And he knows, he would have known, that there were two predominant views of marriage and divorce at that time.

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One school of thought was led by a rabbi named Rabbi Shammai. And Rabbi Shammai taught that divorce was wrong in every instance, except in the instance of adultery.

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And often the camps that followed Rabbi Shammai would say that in a case where a woman, for instance, was caught in adultery, it demanded divorce.

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Divorce was not the last possible recourse, but the only possible recourse. Your wife cheats on you, your husband cheats on you, you must divorce them.

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The other school of thought was led by Rabbi Hallel, who the Pharisees, they would have subscribed to his particular view.

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And he taught that divorce was permissible for almost any infraction within a marriage.

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In some ways, Rabbi Hallel held a view that's not that different from our views today, or the views of the world considering marriage today.

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For instance, if a wife were to undercook or to overcook her husband's lamb at dinner, that was a divorceable offense.

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Be careful, wives, if you live with someone who follows Rabbi Hallel. Under this school, it was permissible for a man to divorce his wife if she did not keep up on her domestic duties, if she wasn't cleaning the toilet and sweeping and cleaning the kitchen as she ought to do, that itself was a divorceable offense.

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And then even more egregious, a man could divorce his wife, in the words of one rabbi, if he found another woman who was fairer than his current wife.

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And so you're out for a walk and you see a woman who's young and available and attractive, she is fairer than my current wife, and for that reason

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I have found something indecent in my current wife, and I will marry her instead. Now it makes you wonder, in light of this cultural context, who is

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Jesus Christ going to align himself with? Is he going to align himself with Rabbi Shammai, who makes one opportunity, one instance where a man can divorce his wife?

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Or is he going to align himself with Rabbi Hallel, who is very liberal and easygoing and really seeks to serve the men of the

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Jewish community well? Is he going to agree with Herod and Herodias?

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In verse 3, Christ gives us the answer. Christ appeals neither to the school of human opinion, nor does he capitulate to the views held by adulterous and bloodthirsty rulers like Herodias, but instead he appeals to the scriptures alone.

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When Christ was asked about marriage, he went to the Bible. In reference to Deuteronomy 24, verses 1 -4, our

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Lord asks the Pharisees, he says, What did Moses command you? The Pharisees knew that Moses had made a concession for divorce in Deuteronomy.

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This was actually the text that they relied on to fashion their own corrupted theology of divorce.

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But certainly they understood that Moses was not encouraging divorce, but instead insisted on the need for the certificate of divorce to hold parties accountable, and even especially to protect women, so that if a woman was divorced without a justifiable cause, it would be set in the record, and she would be left not to defend for herself as a divorced woman, and maybe scrutinized or stigmatized as an adulterer, but that she would be able to preserve her life, preserve her dignity, and seek even to remarry with her certificate of divorce, demonstrating that her husband had in fact abandoned her.

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And then in verse 5, Christ condemns the Pharisees, explaining that this concession was put in place not to promote divorce, but because of the

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Jews' hardness of heart. In verses 6 and 7, Christ again appeals to Scripture by quoting from the creation account.

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Now Christ is going all the way back to the beginning, to Genesis chapter 2 and verse 24.

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And I want to draw our attention, I could draw our attention to many things here, but I want to draw our attention to this first of all.

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That while the Pharisees and while the rabbis and while the rulers of the day insisted on viewing marriage and divorce and issues of family from their own human traditions, from their own opinions, here we see that Christ appeals to what?

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Only to God's Word. And isn't that the world that we live in today?

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There are so many opinions about marriage. So many opinions about sex and gender.

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So many opinions about divorce and about children. And where are we to go? We're to go to the same place that Christ went to.

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For those of you who are theological geeks like me, I want to point out something here, that it's no exaggeration to say that Christ's philosophy in this exchange demonstrates that he held to sola scriptura and analogia scriptura.

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And what I mean by that is this, that sola scriptura is that Christ recognized that divine authority belonged to God's Word alone.

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When the Jews, when the Pharisees came to him with questions concerning marriage, he didn't go to his own opinion.

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He didn't go to what a rabbi taught. He went to what God said in his Word. And not only did he do that, but he used what we would call the analogy of scripture.

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He used scripture to interpret scripture. When he saw that the Pharisees were misapplying

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Deuteronomy 24, verses 1 -4, what did he do? But he went to another verse in Genesis chapter 2, at the creation account.

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He used scripture to interpret scripture and to correct the Pharisees. And Christ, as we have seen in the

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Gospel of Mark, is consistent with this across the board. In Mark chapter 7 and verse 9, for instance, he said to the

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Pharisees, you have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your own tradition.

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They rejected God's Word in favor of their own tradition. And if we are to be a people, a church, if you're to be a believer who has a right view of marriage, we must understand this.

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We must follow Christ's example. This is the very foundation of marriage.

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This is the very foundation of the Christian life, that God's Word alone is authoritative.

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Now, children, I could say any number of things from behind this. We'll call it a pulpit.

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Just because I say it doesn't mean it's true. Your parents, as wonderful as they are, can say many things.

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But just because they say it doesn't mean it's true. It must come from the Bible. We must be

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Bereans to hear what people say, to read what we read in the news and in books, and even in good theology books, and to weigh it against scripture.

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And then I'm going to do something that I don't normally do, but I'm going to fast forward us for a minute to verses 13 through 16.

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I'm not going to read it all. We've already heard it read. But these children were brought to Christ. And Jesus says,

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I'll say this in verse 14, He said, Let the children come to me. Do not hinder them, for to such belong the kingdom of God.

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Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.

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Now, there's many perspectives of what this means. For instance, John MacArthur.

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I respect John MacArthur. He's a brother in Christ. But I disagree with his interpretation here.

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He says here that salvation, this means that there is salvation for the young and for the mentally impaired.

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I do not think that that's what this text means. There are many people who read this text, and they think it means that we are to be simple, simple -minded like children.

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And that means that we throw aside all study of the Bible, any academic type of work at Scripture, any kind of rigorous study.

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Others think that it relates to blind faith, that we should just receive things at face value, the way that children do, the way that children believe in Santa Claus and the

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Easter Bunny, and any countless number of other creatures, beings.

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I don't know where some of our children are in this congregation on that topic, and I'm not going to upset the parents, but I know what my children believe.

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So does this describe you? Are you fully submitted to the Word of God as it relates to everything?

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Or are there aspects of your life that you're holding back, where you are hard -hearted to the

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Word of God, where you are obstinate, where you say, I know the Bible says this, but this is what

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I want. For anyone who's been around me for any period of time, you know that one of my guilty pleasures, one of my secret guilty pleasures is the study of aviation.

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My kids will sometimes find me squirreled away on my phone or something, watching YouTube, and oftentimes it's either a political video or it's an aviation video.

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And Steve knows this. He's seen me when I get around pilots and all the questions that I like to ask.

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And one of the things, the very first things they teach a pilot when they're learning to fly is to trust their instruments.

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For dozens and dozens of hours, a pilot will spend flying probably in skies like this, clear blue skies with nothing to obscure their vision.

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And eventually after they've been through enough training and they get their instrumentation training, they learn to fly in the clouds.

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And one of the things that the flight instructor always reminds their student is this, that when you are in the clouds, trust your instruments.

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When you're in the fog, trust your instruments. When you can't see the horizon, trust your instruments.

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It's a statistic in aviation that the average pilot who doesn't trust their instruments when they're flying through instrument conditions will survive 178 seconds, less than three minutes before their plane will plunge into the ground.

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Even after a commercial pilot has been flying for hundreds and thousands of hours, even when their minds and their senses, the sensations in their bodies tell them otherwise, they've been trained to trust their instruments.

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There's an aviation saying there are old pilots, there are bold pilots, but there are not many old, bold pilots.

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And brothers and sisters, if we are to become old, faithful, persevering, enduring

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Christians over the long haul, we must trust our instrument.

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And what is our instrument? But that which the Lord has given to us. So that when we are, as Steve and I sometimes talk about, in the fog, not able to tell which way is the right way and which way is the wrong way, the instrument that God has given us to discern truth from error is this, the

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Word of God. And like children, the children that Christ speaks about in verses 13 through 16, it's not to be simple -minded.

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It's not to give blind faith to things. It is to submit ourselves, to trust humbly in God and in his

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Word, to have a sweet submission to the Word of God. The next principle that I want to turn to in our text is this, that marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman.

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It's a revolutionary thought, isn't it? Marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman.

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And what we're going to find, actually, is that there's a lot of overlap in the text. And so I'm going to read a few texts that we've already read again, but I'm going to highlight something else in that text.

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And so we'll begin in verse 6. But from the beginning of creation

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God made them male and female. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

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So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Because God's Word, and not man's

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Word, is what defines marriage, we must confess with Christ that there are only two genders, and marriage is only to occur between one man and one woman.

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Now, if you talk to many Christians, or I'm going to say it, professing

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Christians, who affirm the LGBTQ sexual revolution, they will often point out that it was only

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Paul that spoke about homosexuality, and about the nature of marriage, and things like that.

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And often they think about passages like 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 9. Paul writes there, 1

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Corinthians 6, 9, Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?

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I think we would agree with that. The unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God. Paul, tell us who they are.

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And one half of the list reads like this. He says, Do not be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality.

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Oftentimes, these affirming Christians will come to passages and say,

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Well, those are Paul's words, but Christ never spoke on the matter. And here

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I am to point you to Mark chapter 10 and verses 6 to 8, where in fact Christ teaches authoritatively a gender binary.

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There is no such thing as non -binary in Scripture. There is man, and there is woman, and there is nothing else.

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And some of you in this room might be offended by that fact. This is not my opinion. This is not the opinion of the

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Universal Church. This is not the opinion of the local church. This is God's authoritative word.

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And so your problem is not with me, but with God and with what He has said. And what

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Christ teaches us here is that when a marriage is to occur, it is to be between a man and a woman.

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The Bible teaches from Genesis to Malachi, the whole scope of the

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Old Testament, and then throughout the New Testament, that this marriage covenant,

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Malachi calls it in Malachi 2 .14, a marriage covenant, is to be between one man and one woman.

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Now, I know that many of you in this room, I'm preaching to the choir. You know this already.

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But children, I'm saying this to some extent especially for your benefit.

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Noah, even you in the back, I want you to pay special attention to this.

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I promise you that your generation, more than mine, more than your parents, more than all of us probably, your generation, children, is going to tell you that a man can be a woman.

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And a woman can be a man. And you can be any gender you want to be on any possible spectrum of genders.

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And I want to say something to you children specifically that I want you to take to heart. And I don't say this to mean mean.

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And I don't say this to be intolerant or hurtful. I say this because it is true and it's what the

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Bible teaches. When the world teaches that a boy can be a girl and a girl can be a boy, or something in between or neither, it is a lie.

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It's a lie like Satan lied to Eve in the garden. It's a lie like the lie that the

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Pharisees believed about divorce. It is a lie and you must not believe them.

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And pay attention to me here. When the world asks you why you don't believe this lie, don't tell them that it's because of your own opinion.

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Don't tell them that it's because it's your parents' opinion. Don't tell them that it's my opinion.

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I'm not afraid of getting in trouble for this. But tell them it's because this is what the word of God says.

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And I will not believe. And I will not support. And I will not forward a lie.

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And then children and adults, if I can include you, marriage is to be between one man and one woman.

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Now, certainly we can harp on the one sin of homosexual marriage.

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But let me bring this in for you young men who want to be married, who plan to be married, young women who want to be married, who plan to be married, young men and young women, old men and old women who are married.

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I'll include myself in the old category. Marriage is to be not only between one man and one woman physically, but in the head, in the hands, in the heart.

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The Lord Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5 .28, he said, But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

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The world will tell you, as I've been told many times, it's okay to look, it's just not okay to touch.

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It couldn't be further from the truth. You are to be faithful to your wife with your hands, with your heart, with your head, to your future wife.

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Solomon pleads. I remember reading through the Proverbs last year with my children and getting to Proverbs chapter 5 and the dramatic scene that Solomon paints in Proverbs chapter 5 is so compelling.

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And we should all be attentive to this, whether it's a young lady at work that we meet, or it's something we see on the internet, or a website that we have no business visiting.

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Proverbs 5 says this, verse 1, My son, be attentive to my wisdom. Boys, be attentive here to the word of God.

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Incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.

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Why? Why does the writer of Proverbs want our attention? He says this,

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For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil.

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The speech and appearance of sexual immorality can be so enticing, Solomon says, but he says this,

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But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two -edged sword.

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Her feet go down to death, her steps follow the path to Sheol. And then in verses 8 and 9 of Proverbs 5 it says this,

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Young men, young women, keep your way far from her. Do not go near the door of her house, lest you give honor to others and your years, not your days, not your hours, not your months, your years to the merciless.

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Now someone might say, if I click on this page on the website, is it really going to, am

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I giving my years to the merciless? Am I not just giving a day or a weekend to the merciless?

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John MacArthur tells a story about a man who wrote to him, and the man was inquiring about getting a set of his

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MacArthur Bible commentary set, which, if you like books, you know it's expensive. It's an expensive set.

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And this man wrote to him and said that by God's grace, he had been saved from a homosexual lifestyle.

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It was 25 years before he wrote this letter to MacArthur. But he said that prior to that, he had spent 40 years living a life of rank sexual immorality.

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And he said in his letter, he said, I would really like a copy of your commentary set because I need to fill my mind with the word of God.

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And he said this, that even though it had been 25 years, he said,

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I still need to read my Bible four hours a day, five hours a day, to get those thoughts out of my mind.

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Those scenes, those images. Men, maybe women too, you know what I'm talking about.

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Those images that are burned into your mind for years. I remember being a young boy, discovering some magazines that my dad had.

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I could, if I wanted to, bring those images to my mind now. They burn into your brains and it's merciless.

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We must guard our hearts. We must be faithful to our wives. Be faithful to our future wives. Be faithful to our future husbands.

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Marriage is second only to obedience to God in sacredness, one commentator writes.

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The third principle that I want to bring before us is this. Marriage is a complementary union.

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This is just such a controversial passage, isn't it? Verses 7 and 8 read like this.

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Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, leave and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

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So they are no longer two, but one flesh. The image that Christ is taking from this text is the same image that we see in Genesis 2 .24.

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There's a good rhyming expression that I like to use, to leave and to cleave.

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To leave your father and your mother and to cleave, to hold fast to your spouse, to your wife.

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The connotation of that is almost like to glue together.

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The root of that word is the same root of our word zygote, where two cells come together.

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And so this is what the Lord is picturing in this, that when a man and a woman come together, they create one flesh.

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And if we go just a few verses earlier to Genesis 2 .18, why do these two come together?

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In Genesis 2 .18 it says, Then the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make a helper fit for him.

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Why did God create woman out of man? And it happened.

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It was because it was not good for man to be alone. And not only that, but God saw that it was fit to make a helper for him.

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God saw to it that he would create a woman out of man for companionship, for reproduction, but also for complementary values or complementary purposes, that she would be a helper fit for him.

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And in Genesis what we read is this, that man was given the mandate. And man, we've talked about this almost ad nauseum, haven't we?

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To work and to keep. Men in this room, the scriptures call you not to be boys.

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They call you to be men. And to work and to keep and to provide and to protect.

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To be the leaders of your household. To use a biblical expression, to be the head.

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To exercise headship in your families. Now there are many people that are just as grieved about that as they would be.

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My last two points. Men, you were called to lead your households.

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And women, you were called to be the companion of that man.

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To be in a one flesh union with that man. And you were called to be a helper to that man.

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In Genesis 5 .22 it says, Wives, submit to your own husbands. What a revolutionary thought.

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Wives, submit to your own husbands. I remember, I believe

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I've shared this story before, but maybe for the benefit of those who haven't heard it, I remember speaking about this passage with a young woman who was preparing for marriage.

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A professing Christian at work. And she was talking about being excited for marriage.

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And what all the things that marriage would entail. And I went to my favorite passage on marriage.

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Because I wanted to rejoice with her. This professing Christian. And I said, look at God's good design for marriage.

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Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. And then, later on, husbands, love your wives.

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And I highlighted that the passage to husbands is at least three times bigger than the passage to wives.

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And the important responsibility of the man to love, to cherish, and to lead his wife.

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To sacrificially love her as Christ loved the church. And after I waxed eloquent about the beauty of God's design for marriage, she said,

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I hate that passage. But this is the way that God has designed marriage.

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Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.

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Man is not the highest authority. He is under Christ. But God has ordained man to be the head of the wife.

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And to husbands. Husbands, we can chuckle about this. But the serious call to be a man.

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To be a husband. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

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That he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word.

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So that he might present the church to himself without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

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That she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands in this room should love their wives as their own bodies.

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He who loves his wife, loves himself. Have you ever thought about that?

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That when you do not love and care for your wife, you're not even loving and caring for yourself.

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For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it. Just as Christ does the church.

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Because we are members of one body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.

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And the two shall become one flesh. And then the kicker. He says, this mystery is profound.

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And I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself.

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And let the wife see that she respects her husband. This is what

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God has called men and women to in marriage. That the man would love his wife like Christ did his church even unto death.

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And that the wife would respect her husband. Now I know that there are people that think that this is the most grotesque idea in all the world.

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I know there might be people in this room that think this is the most grotesque idea in all the world.

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But it's biblical. And not only is it biblical, but let me just say, it just makes sense.

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And what I mean is this. For those of you that do not believe that this is a good thing.

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For those of you that think this is an egregious thing. Think about this. That the world tells you, it is okay for you, young lady, to go to work.

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And to submit to your boss. Without batting an eye. To do whatever it is that they tell you to do.

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Joyfully. And there's not a concern in the world. The world can tell you to go to school.

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And to listen studiously and carefully under your instructor. To submit to them grading your papers.

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And marking your exams. And not to worry. They would say there's nothing wrong with that.

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But then they would say in the same breath. For you to go home. And to submit to the man.

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Of whom you have devoted your life to through the vows of marriage.

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Under Christ. Under God. The very one in whom you have become one flesh with.

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For you to submit to that man is disgusting and disturbing above all things.

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Can't you see the lie? It's biblical and it makes sense.

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And it's, if I can say, it's beautiful. George Mueller. You've heard me speak many times about George Mueller, haven't you?

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And we've recounted his faithful prayer life. And the ministry that he carried out.

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That George Mueller was a 19th century giant of faith missions. That's what I'm saying.

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And I've often recounted how he trusted God. Both as a pastor and as the director of an orphanage.

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That cared for thousands of destitute children. But one of the things I've never spoken to you about. Is his most vital ministry partner in all of that.

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In his pastorate. And in the orphanages where he cared for children. Now who could that vital partner have been?

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Was it some skilled administrator that worked at his side? A judicious young man who took notes.

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And made accounts right. And ensured that the orphans were fed. Could it have been the prince of preachers?

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Charles Spurgeon. Who loved George Mueller. And who supported his endeavors. This man that not that many people know who

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George Mueller is. But many Christians have at least heard the name of Charles Spurgeon. Could it have been Charles Spurgeon?

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It was neither. The most vital ministry partner in George Mueller's life.

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Was his dear wife Mary. She was such a precious helper to him.

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That Mueller said his marriage was so happy. He said this. I never saw her at any one time without a new feeling of delight.

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That is what complementarian marriage looks like. That is what Genesis 2, Ephesians 5 marriage looks like.

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To see your wife. And not to see her as a subject to be ruled over. But to see her and to delight in her.

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And then after 39 years of marriage. When she passed away in 1870.

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She was 73 years old and died of rheumatic fever. Wouldn't you expect that George Mueller would be the one to preach the sermon at her funeral.

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And he got up and he preached that sermon. And it was on Psalm 119, verse 68. The text is,

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Thou art good and thou doest good. This was not a text about his wife.

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This was a text about his God. How the Lord had taken away his best friend and co -labor in ministry.

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And nevertheless he confessed that God is good. And God doest good.

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And the three points of his sermon. A good three point sermon was this. He said, The Lord was good and did good.

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First in giving her to me. Second in so long leaving her to me.

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And third in taking her from me. And Mueller exclaimed in the closing words of his sermon.

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He said, I feel more and more every day. That I am without this pleasant, useful, loving companion.

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As the director of five orphan houses, I miss her in numberless ways. And shall miss her yet more and more.

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But as a child of God and as a servant to the Lord Jesus, I bow. I am satisfied by the will, with the will of my heavenly

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Father. I kiss continually the hand that has thus afflicted me.

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But I also say I shall meet her again to spend a happy eternity with her.

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This is what God ordained complimentary marriage looks like. A husband who loves and cherishes his wife even as his own body.

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Who loves and treasures her even as Christ loves and treasures his precious bride, the church.

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And sisters, this is the fruit of a woman who lives in biblical relationship to her husband.

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It speaks for itself. As they took her casket through the streets of Bristol, what did they find?

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But 1 ,400 children, orphans, lining the streets as her casket went to her grave.

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Here was a woman who didn't live a meaningless and disgusting life because she submitted to her husband.

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But who lived a purposeful and God -glorifying life. 1 ,400 children standing at the side of the road who were at one time without hope.

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And this woman gave them a home and a family and the gospel. The fourth principle that I want to draw our attention to is this.

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I'm going to speed up just so you know. Marriage is a lifelong union. In verses 8 -12 it says this,

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The two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

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And in the house the disciples asked him. We know the house is always the place where Christ explains again what he's teaching.

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And he said to them, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.

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Here we see that the same rule is applied both to men and to women. Not only did

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Rabbi Hillel tell men that they could leave their wives for almost any reason, but the

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Mishnah, another Jewish tradition, granted a woman to divorce her husband on the basis of illness, occupation, impotence, or unwillingness to fulfill his conjugal rights.

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Now some might say that doesn't seem to make sense in that culture. And I would say we see it exactly in Mark.

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In Mark chapter 6 and verse 17 where Herodias left her husband for Herod Antipas.

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And what this passage teaches us is that God has designed marriage to be a permanent lifelong union.

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I think most of us are old enough to remember when you used to have a disposable camera. And you take the photos and you used it for as long as it was useful.

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And then you took it to have the photos developed and you never saw the camera again. And you didn't think about it.

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That is not what marriage is. Where we stay with a man or a woman so long as they are useful.

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And then when they're out of film, we send them away and replace them with a new one.

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Scripture, what Christ is saying here in the face of the whole Jewish culture that saw very little value in the permanence of marriage.

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Here Christ is saying, marriage is permanent. When you stand in front of your bride at the altar and you say, until death do we part, that means something.

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There's value in that statement. I will be with you in sickness. I will be with you in health.

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I will be with you in the best and in the worst. Scripture only permits two occasions for lawful divorce.

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Matthew 19 verse 9, which is the parallel passage to this. Christ says that whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery.

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Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, but if an unbeliever partner separates, if they abandon you, in such case the brother or sister is not enslaved,

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God has called you to peace. But these are exceptions and not the rule.

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And the exceptions prove the rule. And even if we're in a situation where our spouse does commit adultery, our encouragement to you is to be reconciled, to call them to repentance, to pray for them, to stay with them until the end.

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We don't teach what the Rabbi Hallel taught in his camp, that if there is adultery you must divorce.

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No, if there's adultery you must reconcile. And if they will not, then we can talk about divorce.

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So women, this means that you cannot divorce your husband because he is lazy. You cannot divorce your husband if he is not leading the home.

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Wives, you cannot divorce your wife because her personality is problematic, or because she doesn't submit to your leadership.

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As you pledge in your marriage vows, for better or for worse, stick it out. Love that person, pray for them.

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Oftentimes Christians don't think about this when they're in trouble, but seek out intensive biblical counseling, not

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Christian counseling. There is a difference, but biblical counseling, where someone will sit down with you and say, this is what the

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Bible says, are you doing it? This is what the Bible says, are you doing it? And the Bible is the authority.

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Come to the elders. We'll point you to a biblical counselor. And Christ lays out such a picture of the permanence of marriage that in Matthew 19 the disciples said, in a cynical way, it would almost be better not to marry.

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For some of you that might be true. You are not ready to marry.

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Marriage is a high calling. It's not a matter of personal convenience. Nor is it something to enter into lightly.

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Like many aspects of the Christian life, marriage is a call to die. A call to die to your selfish ways.

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A call to lay down your own preferences. To die to the prospect of future relationships.

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And so choose wisely. For those of you that aren't married, choose wisely.

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I noticed, I'm not sure if anyone has heard of this in recent years, it's become in vogue to throw divorce parties.

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You can go to a wedding shower, a baby shower, and now you can go to a divorce party.

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And you can find countless articles online that tell you how to have, as one article

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I found, how to have the ultimate divorce party. To have a themed event.

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To have a venue that matches. Maybe a rooftop garden or a pub or a beachfront restaurant.

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To invite all your friends to have a divorce cake. But I especially like how one couple chose to end their marriage.

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In 2016, there was a number of media outlets that published a stirring photo of a husband and wife who were commemorating the end of their marriage in spectacular fashion.

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After 77 years of marriage, the 100 -year -old husband had his hospice bed pushed alongside that of his 96 -year -old wife.

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And for the final hours of her life, he laid there with her at her side and he held her hand and he comforted her and he kept his vow until death do him part.

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The world doesn't know this, but this is what God intended from the beginning. Marriages are not meant to last a few short years and then end with a party.

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Marriages are meant to last a lifetime and then to end when one spouse lays at the other spouse's side and walks them home to be with Christ.

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That is a biblical marriage. The world views marriage as cheap and disposable, to be abandoned at the first sign of hardship.

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But this is not to be so amongst God's people. Choose your husbands.

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Choose your wives carefully, very carefully. And then get married. And then give thanks to God as you cleave to that man or to that woman for the rest of your life.

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And then last of all, fifth principle, marriage is a gospel union. When a marriage is ordered according to God's word, between one man and between one woman, lived in harmony and companionship, with sacrificial love and sweet submission, forever, for this life at least.

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This is a marriage that points to Christ and his gospel. A marriage does not exist for your self -satisfaction.

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Marriage does not exist for your comfort and security. Marriage doesn't even exist, as good as it is, for sanctification.

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Marriage exists for the glory of almighty God. It is a marriage that points to the cosmic betrothal between Christ and his precious bride, the church.

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When Paul wrote to the Ephesians, he said, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

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We heard it read already, Ephesians 5, 31 and 32, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

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This mystery is profound, and Paul says, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

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Dear saints, when we see a marriage lived out well, it points to the ultimate marriage.

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If you're in this room and you're single, and you don't know if you're ever going to get married, and you're running out of hope, you are already a partaker in the best marriage that has and will ever be.

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That is a marriage where God, unlike the culture that we live in, will stay with us forever, that he has bought us with a price, with the price of the blood of his own dear son.

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In Zephaniah 3 .17, I see this is a picture of that wedding, that betrothal, that marriage, it says,

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The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save. He will rejoice over you with gladness.

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He will quiet you by his love. He will exult over you with loud singing.

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If you're the kind of husband that sings to your wife, even if she's embarrassed by it, well,

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God is singing for joy at his bride, his church.

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Matthew Henry says, Let those who are for putting away their wives consider what would become of themselves if God should deal with them in like manner.

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But in Hebrews 13 .5, it says that our Lord will never forsake us.

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If we have placed our faith in Christ, if our confidence is in the Lord Jesus, he will never forsake us.

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You want to talk about a permanent marriage? It's between Christ and his bride. And if you're sitting in this seat, and you're right with Christ, you are secure.

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And your bridegroom will never leave you. He will never forsake you. He will never see another that is more beautiful than you, that is fairer than you.

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He will never see you stumble and fall to cook a bad meal, to neglect a household duty, and to cast you aside.

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You are eternally secure in Christ for all of you who are in Christ.

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Martin Luther says this, and I'll end with this verse, this quote. He says, When I look at myself,

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I don't see how I can be saved. Can't we all agree with that?

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When I look at myself, I don't see how I can be saved. But when

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I look at Christ, I don't see how I can be lost. And dear saint says, as Christ's bride, if you can look at Christ, there is no way that you will be lost.

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So young men, young women, old men, old women, go out and honor

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Christ, married or not, in your relationship with your spouse, in your relationship with the one you're courting, in your relationship with the