Church Soup (Ep. 2024 -03 Is Superman Giving Flying Lessons in Heaven? and more!!!)

Welcome back to Church Soup, the show that takes all of the hot mess that is evangelical news and serves it to you in 10 minutes or less.

I'm your host, Keith Foskey, pastor, brother, and Lord's Day lover. As we get started,

I want to announce the winner from our last episode where I asked all of you to put your favorite Carl Weathers character in the comments in honor of his passing.

And boy, did you come through. We had a ton of great comments. So I took all of the comments, I put them into a randomizer, and I chose a winner.

FakerD29, you are the winner. Congratulations. We will get the Sola Fistis shirt out to you right away.

Moving on to our top story. This past week was the Super Bowl, and many churches were quick to adopt that theme for their services.

But one church certainly rose above all others by having a person kick off a Bible from the stage.

Would you like to kick or receive the Bible? I will receive. Tom wins the toss, chooses to receive the

Bible. Patterson back with the kick. Oh my goodness!

Now I'm not a prophet nor the son of a prophet, but I nailed this. Last year, I did a spoof video on Super Bowl themed services, and my

Big Eva character said this. Bro, check it out. This is one of our biggest Sundays of the year.

This morning, our pastor came out, he had a football jersey on, he ran from the back and all the deacons chased him wearing referee uniforms.

After his sermon, he spiked his Bible and the youth group came up onto the stage, picked him up on the shoulders, and carried him out after they poured

Gatorade all over him. It was awesome. Did he really spike his Bible? Listen, if you love

Jesus, you're going to spike your Bible after a good sermon. Little did I know that the real Big Eva was going to ratchet up the crazy even higher than my parody could imagine.

I mean, they literally kicked the Bible off the stage. That's just an ironic metaphor for what's really happening in a lot of churches today.

And I know what you think I'm going to say, but I'm not going to say it. Instead, I've created a meme to do the talking for me.

Moving over to news from the weird, this past week I was sent an older video of Kat Kerr of One Quest International describing her vision of heaven, where she says

Christopher Reeves gives flying lessons. But you do learn how to fly when you're in heaven.

You learn. I don't think you instantly go there and you start flying around the streets of gold, not what I've been shown anyway.

I think people wouldn't know what to do. You're actually trained in heaven, but I love

God's sense of humor. I do too. Because I happen to know that Christopher Reeves, who played the original

Superman, he is in heaven. And what he does in heaven is he teaches everyone to fly.

Really? Okay, this definitely deserves a church soup rant. So get ready. Rant incoming.

Listen, this offends me on several levels. First, as a Bible -believing Christian, this is just cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, okay?

This is just another in a long line of heavenly tourism hoaxes that need to be called out, marked, and avoided.

Second, I am a huge Superman fan. I have a ton of Superman comics from my youth which are kept sealed in plastic inside of a metal box inside my house.

I literally have several Superman posters and toys within arm's reach. Don't believe me?

Bam. Don't try me. And I do believe Christopher Reeves stands out as the consummate version of the

Superman character. I also love movies. But making up this story is beyond cringe.

I mean, what's next? Is she going to say Paul Walker was giving driving lessons or Stephen Hawking is teaching a science class?

Also, quick reminder, Christopher Reeves couldn't actually fly. He was an actor. A great actor.

But still, just an actor. If anyone should get to teach people how to fly, it's Tom Cruise.

Because guess what? He can actually fly. But Tom Cruise is a Scientologist, Christopher Reeves was a

Unitarian, and Cat Kerr is a crazy person. So ends this week's church soup rant.

Probably the best part of this story is that while researching Cat Kerr for this segment, I found out that her ministry is based in Jacksonville, Florida, which coincidentally is where I'm located.

And I must admit that her kind of crazy definitely fits the stereotype of Florida. Just spend a minute googling

Florida man memes and you'll see what I mean. Half of the people in those memes are probably my cousins.

Moving over to youth group news, Tuesday with Taylor is a new Bible study which connects Taylor Swift lyrics with Bible verses.

A group of nearly two dozen students meets every Tuesday before school at Faith Lutheran Middle and High School in Las Vegas, Nevada for this study.

Every Tuesday, they start the day with Taylor Swift Bible study. God's really trying to prove something in Sin City. Michelle Dwyer is a big

Swifty. We're actually the same age. She's listened to Swift's music since the beginning. Just that connection of the human experience and music and how

God speaks loudly through whatever means possible. Okay, it's obvious to me now that I wasted my blasphemy joke way too early in this episode.

Moving on. In Methodist news, the Reverend Herbert Miller of Connecticut has been accused of selling meth out of the church parsonage.

Miller, who is 63 years old, was arrested by police at the site of a purported drug deal set up by a cooperating witness.

He was charged with possession of narcotics with intent to sell, possession of a controlled substance, use of drug paraphernalia, in addition to other charges.

There's no indication how long Miller had been engaging in this unscrupulous side hustle, but church members said that they should have been tipped off when they noticed how often his sermon illustrations were coming from the show

Breaking Bad. In scripture news, several people have been sending me video of the new

Gen Z Bible translation, which uses modern slang to communicate the truths of the word. Recently, I did hear about a new translation out called the

Gen Z Bible, where someone had taken the scriptures and translated it into Gen Z language.

Now I'm going to read part of this. I do want to let you know, I would never dishonor God's word. I have triple checked this to make sure this is exactly what

Luke 1 communicates when the angel talks to Mary. Check this out. Mary was a pick me girl for God and was simping for him in prayer when the angel

Gabriel appeared to her and said, Ayo, you're a real one and the top G is feeling you. Now, this may come as a surprise, but this is actually nothing new.

Over the years, I've seen everything from the Klingon Bible to the word on the street. Can I simply say to whoever keeps making these things, just stop it.

No one wants this. Young people don't want it. Older people think that it's wildly sacrilegious and it is.

So on behalf of all of us, stop it. Just stop it. Finally, I'll be headed to Tennessee this coming week for the

Why Calvinism conference where I will be speaking alongside some wonderful brothers, including Jeffrey Rice, Haps Addison, Brayden Patterson, James White, Matt Slick, Sam Waldron, Andrew Rappaport, Claude Ramsey, Kevin Hay, Michael Schultz, and even some more.

It's going to be several days of outstanding teaching. I also understand Leighton Flowers is going to make an appearance.

So if you hear that a brawl broke out in the alley behind the conference center, you'll know why.

Begin! I'm totally looking forward to putting

Leighton in a headlock. But seriously, it's going to be a great time and if you're nearby, I would love for you to join us.

And if so, be sure to stop by my table and say hello. That's all for this episode of Church Soup.

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I want you to take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself one question. This has been