Church Soup (Ep. 2024 -03 Is Superman Giving Flying Lessons in Heaven? and more!!!)

Welcome back to Church Soup, the show that takes all of the hot mess that is evangelical news and serves

it to you in 10 minutes or less.

I'm your host, Keith Foskey, pastor, brother, and Lord's Day lover.

As we get started, I want to announce the winner from our last episode, where I asked all of you to put your favorite Carl Weathers

character in the comments in honor of his passing.

And boy, did you come through.

We had a ton of great comments.

So I took all the comments, I put them into a randomizer, and I chose a winner.

FakerD29, you are the winner.

Congratulations.

We will get the Sola Fistis shirt out to you right away.

Moving on to our top story.

This past week was the Super Bowl, and many churches were quick to adopt that theme for their services.

But one church certainly rose above all others by having a person kick off a Bible from

the stage.

Would you like to kick or receive the Bible?

I will receive.

Tom wins the toss, chooses to receive the Bible.

Patterson back with the kick.

Oh my goodness.

Now I'm not a prophet nor the son of a prophet, but I nailed this.

Last year, I did a spoof video on Super Bowl -themed services, and my Big Eva character said this.

Bro, check it out.

This is one of our biggest Sundays of the year.

This morning, our pastor came out.

He had a football jersey on.

He ran from the back, and all the deacons chased him wearing referee uniforms.

After his sermon, he spiked his Bible, and the youth group came up onto the stage, picked him up on the shoulders, and

carried him out after they caught Gatorade all over him.

It was awesome.

Did he really spike his Bible?

Listen, if you love Jesus, you're going to spike your Bible after a good sermon.

Little did I know that the real Big Eva was going to ratchet up the crazy even higher than my parody could

imagine.

I mean, they literally kicked the Bible off the stage.

That's just an ironic metaphor for what's really happening in a lot of churches today.

And I know what you think I'm going to say, but I'm not going to say it.

Instead, I've created a meme to do the talking for me.

Moving over to news from the weird, this past week, I was sent an older video of Kat Kerr of OneQuest

International describing her vision of heaven where she says Christopher Reeves gives flying

lessons.

But you do learn.

How to fly when you're in heaven.

You learn.

I don't think you instantly go there and you start flying around the streets of gold, not what I've been shown anyway.

I think people wouldn't know what to do.

You're actually trained in heaven, but I love God's sense of humor.

I do too.

Because I happen to know that Christopher Reeves, who played the original Superman, he is in

heaven.

And what he does in heaven is he teaches everyone to fly.

Really?

Okay, this definitely deserves a church soup rant.

So get ready, rant incoming.

Listen, this offends me on several levels.

First, as a Bible -believing Christian, this is just cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, okay?

This is just another in a long line of heavenly tourism hoaxes that need to be called out, marked,

and avoided.

Second, I am a huge Superman fan.

I have a ton of Superman comics from my youth, which are kept sealed in plastic inside of a metal box inside my house.

I literally have several Superman posters and toys within arm's reach.

Don't believe me?

Bam!

Don't try me.

And I do believe Christopher Reeves stands out as the consummate version of the Superman character.

I also love movies.

But making up this story is beyond cringe.

I mean, what's next?

Is she going to say Paul Walker was giving driving lessons or Stephen Hawking is teaching a science class?

Also, quick reminder, Christopher Reeves couldn't actually fly.

He was an actor, a great actor, but still just an actor.

If anyone should get to teach people how to fly, it's Tom Cruise, because guess what?

He can actually fly.

But Tom Cruise is a Scientologist, Christopher Reeves was a Unitarian, and Kat Kerr is a crazy person.

So ends this week's church soup rant.

Probably the best part of this story is that while researching Kat Kerr for this segment, I found out that her ministry is based in

Jacksonville, Florida, which coincidentally is where I'm located.

And I must admit that her kind of crazy definitely fits the stereotype of Florida.

Just spend a minute googling Florida man memes, and you'll see what I mean.

Half of the people in those memes are probably my cousins.

Moving over to youth group news, Tuesday with Taylor is a new Bible study which connects Taylor Swift lyrics

with Bible verses.

A group of nearly two dozen students meets every Tuesday before school at Faith Lutheran Middle and High School in Las

Vegas, Nevada.

For this study.

Every Tuesday they start the day with Taylor Swift Bible study.

God's really trying to prove something in Sin City.

Michelle Dwyer is a big Swifty.

We're actually the same age.

She's listened to Swift's music since the beginning.

Just that connection of the human experience and music and how God speaks loudly through whatever means

possible.

Okay, it's obvious.

To me now that I wasted my blasphemy joke way too early in this episode.

Moving on.

In Methodist news, the Reverend Herbert Miller of Connecticut has been accused of selling meth out of the church parsonage.

Miller, who is 63 years old, was arrested by police at the site of a purported drug deal set up by a cooperating witness.

He was charged with possession of narcotics with intent to sell, possession of a controlled substance, use of drug

paraphernalia, in addition to other charges.

There's no indication how long Miller had been engaging in this unscrupulous side hustle, but church members said that they should have been

tipped off when they noticed how often his sermon illustrations were coming from the show Breaking Bad.

In Scripture news, several people have been sending me video of the new Gen Z Bible translation, which uses modern

slang to.

Communicate the truths of the Word.

Recently I did hear about a new translation out called the Gen Z Bible, where someone

had taken the scriptures and translated it into Gen Z language.

Now I'm going to read part of this.

I do want to let you know I would never dishonor God's Word.

I have checked this to make sure this is exactly what Luke 1 communicates when the angel

talks to Mary.

Check this out.

Mary was a pick -me girl for God and was simping for him in prayer when the angel Gabriel appeared to

her and said, Ayo, you're a real one, and the top G is feeling.

You.

Now this may come as a surprise, but this is actually nothing new.

Over the years I've seen everything from the Klingon Bible to the Word on the street.

Can I simply say to whoever keeps making these things, just stop it.

No one wants this.

Young people don't want it.

Older people think that it's wildly sacrilegious, and it is.

So on behalf of all of us, stop it.

Just stop it.

Finally, I'll be headed to Tennessee this coming week for the Why Calvinism Conference, where I will be speaking alongside some

wonderful brothers, including Jeffrey Rice, Haps Addison, Braden Patterson, James White, Matt Slick, Sam

Waldron, Andrew Rappaport, Claude Ramsey, Kevin Hay, Michael Schultz, and even some more.

It's going to be several days of outstanding teaching.

I also understand Leighton Flowers is going to make an appearance, so if you hear that a brawl broke out in the alley

behind the conference center, you'll know why.

I'm totally looking forward to putting Leighton in a headlock.

But seriously, it's going to be a great time, and if you're nearby, I would love for you to join us.

And if so, be sure to stop by my table and say hello.

That's all for this episode of Church Soup.

If you liked it, hit the thumbs up button, and if you didn't, hit the thumbs down button twice.

And if you haven't subscribed to the channel yet, I want you to take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself one

question.

What's wrong with you people?

This has been Church Soup.

I'm Keith Foskey, and I'll see you next time.