TLP 258: A Proverbs 31 Mother | and father, Part 1

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We all believe in our own intrinsic self -worth. People should celebrate my existence for no other reason than the fact that I am who

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I am and there are no others like me. But let's disembark the narcissist train for a moment and focus on reality.

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Welcome to Truth. Love. Parent. Where we use God's word to become intentional premeditated parents.

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Here's your host, A .M. Brewster. It doesn't take much to become a parent, but to become a

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Truth. Love. Parent, man, that requires a supernatural act of God. It doesn't come easy, but it's infinitely worth the sacrifice.

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This show is dedicated to glorifying God in our parenting by equipping dads and moms like you with the truth they need to become the parents

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God created them to be. My name is Aaron, and I welcome you to this community of believers, all of whom are relying on God in this exhausting endeavor to become intentional premeditated parents.

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I'd like to acknowledge two of those parents today. Kim and Ryan have made today's episode possible, and they,

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Team TLP, and I would like to invite you to learn how you can make a difference in the life of families all over the globe.

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Just click on the five ways to support TLP link in the description of this episode to learn more. And thank you,

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Ryan and Kim, for your part in this. And if you're still feeling more helpful after that, you can also take a moment to rate and review and recommend the show so that other searching parents can find us easier.

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Okay, so it's almost Mother's Day. To celebrate it, we have a special two -part episode called A Proverbs 31

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Mother. Of course, everything we're going to study has applications for dads too, so in a way, this is about becoming a

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Proverbs 31 parent, and this will also be included in our biblical parenting series that will have these two shows and our

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Isaiah 11 Father episodes. Proverbs 3 .10 -31 will likely be preached in pulpits all over the country this coming

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Sunday, and that's not a bad thing. No matter how many times we've heard it preached, it's a fantastic passage filled with practical truth for application to various parts of our lives.

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However, for the next two episodes, I just want to make some focused observations that deal specifically with Christ -honoring parenting.

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And before I jump in, as I said earlier, we have hundreds of free episodes dedicated to a plethora of various parenting questions, issues, and situations.

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So if you're not sure where to start, you could head over to TruthLoveParent .com and click on the podcast tab, though you'll see the whole show broken up by special guest, episodes by series, by topic, by season, and top 10 episodes.

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No doubt at least one of those lists will have something that will resonate with you in your current parenting journey. Or you could just start with our pilot season and work your way through chronologically.

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Each season builds on the previous ones and fills out our God -given calling to be disciple -making ambassador parents.

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Okay, so the Proverbs 31 mother or father. I wrestled for a while on the best way to approach this chapter.

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It's so filled with so many amazing things. I considered working through it exegetically from beginning to end, verse by verse.

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I thought about dealing with it topically. I even considered looking at the passage simply from a structural standpoint. However, considering that this is only a podcast and will not be able to unpack all the glory of this passage in just two episodes,

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I'll attempt to equip us to be ambassador parents by looking at what I believe are the four main themes of the passage and deal with some sub -themes.

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As I looked at the passage, I realized it was built like a poetic style I discovered in the early 2000s.

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I honestly can't remember the name of the style, but as a poet, I remember enjoying the device. Basically, it worked like this.

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The first line of your poem would have one syllable, the following would have two, and so on. You could even have a mirrored version that worked back down to one.

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The poet could start with a longer line and increase or decrease the lines by more than one syllable if they wanted to.

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Really, it's whatever you wanted. The style is very flexible and can accommodate any number of poetic preferences.

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Here's an example I wrote in 2007. It's called Passion to be Growing. Now you really won't be able to appreciate what

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I'm talking about in terms of line length simply by listening, but when you look at it on our transcript, you'll see that about which

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I'm talking. The first line is one syllable, and every line builds with ten syllables in the final line.

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Take. Open the Bible now to listen. Here with your eyes, words breathed out from heavenly lips.

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Let truth smolder in your heart. Impossible to receive divinity without opening the book with a passion to be growing.

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Now if you took that idea and you did the inverse mirror on the end of that and you had ten more lines and they built down to the one syllable at the end,

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I would say that in a way, Proverbs 31, 10 through 31 has a similar structure. It starts off with themes that are dealt with very briefly and has a bulk of information in the middle.

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Now, obviously this has nothing to do with the number of syllables or the lines, but when you stand back and look at the shape of the passage, you may notice something very interesting.

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I believe the four main themes of this section of Scripture create a conceptual sandwich. The bread on either side is one idea, then there are veggies on the very top and the bottom of the sandwich, and in the middle of the sandwich is the meat with seasonings intermingled throughout the layers, and that's the thickest part.

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The first and last parts of this passage focus on the fact that an excellent mother is extremely valuable, and as important as that point is, it deals with it very simply.

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Then the next inner level deals with her wisdom. These are like the vegetables in the sandwich simile.

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And again, like the bread, and like the way most of us probably make sandwiches, we don't have quite as much of the veggie on there as we do the meat in the middle.

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So then the largest middle section deals primarily with the mother's hard work, with examples of her abounding love sprinkled throughout.

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It's really quite interesting, but it's hard to see unless you highlight it in your Bible, or just do what I did. You can copy and paste it into a

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Word document or pages and then highlight the four main ideas in the passage to really see it and appreciate it.

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Either way, today we're going to talk about a biblical parent's value and wisdom, and the corresponding sub -themes associated with those.

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And then next time we're going to discuss the biblical parent's love and work, and I'll include a highlighted copy of the passage so that you can better appreciate the structure of the chapter without having to highlight it on your own and be able to see this quote unquote conceptual sandwich.

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All right, here goes. Number one, a biblical mother is valuable. Now let's be honest, few mothers aren't valuable.

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Even the ones who abandon their children have value in that they played a huge part in gifting the child with life.

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I would really say that the only mother who isn't a valuable mother per se would be the one who aborted her child.

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Now obviously that's not to say that a woman who's had an abortion or a man who's murdered his children cannot be forgiven and changed by the glory and power of God.

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That's not the focus of today, but I'm simply pointing out that the vast majority of moms are obviously super valuable people.

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But we have to acknowledge that God puts special emphasis on a mother specifically who fears the

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Lord. In verse 10 we read, an excellent wife who can find she is far more precious than jewels.

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Now the passage is going to define what it means to be excellent, but it starts by observing that she is far more valuable than the rock on her finger or a whole store of them for that matter.

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And then in verses 28 through 30 we see that her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her, quote, many women have done excellently, but you surpassed them all, unquote.

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Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. This woman is so precious that her children call her blessed and her husband can't help but praise her with the highest of compliments.

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You surpassed them all. So the passage begins by saying that it's possible to be an excellent mother, but then at the end of the chapter we see that many women have done excellent things, but this one particular woman even surpasses the rest in her excellencies because of one key thing.

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She fears the Lord. Now this should remind you if you heard the episode of the

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Teach Your Children to Learn series which started in episode 207. In fact, we'll be referencing that series a couple times today because of the overlap of ideas.

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The point is, if you want to be this excellent, super valuable Proverbs 31 mom, then the core of your person, your life choices, and your parenting needs to be the fear of the

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Lord. I'll talk more about the significance of this in our next main point, but for now we all have to ask ourselves if those who know us best would say that we fear the

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Lord. Would our kids say that of us? So the passage starts and ends with this focus because it's the root, the foundation, the very center of the

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Proverbs 31 parent. Now because she fears the Lord, A, this biblical mother is not only valuable to God, but B, she's also valuable to her family.

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In verses 15 and 21, we learn that she rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.

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She's not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She's valuable to her household, but she's also valuable to her husband.

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Verses 11, 12, and 23 read, The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of game.

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She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

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Now I know it's easy in our postmodern society to experience a wide range of annoyance and anger over the idea that we would be valued simply because of what we do for other people.

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We all believe in our own intrinsic self -worth. People should celebrate my existence for no other reason than the fact that I am who

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I am and there are no others like me. Let's disembark the narcissist train for a moment and focus on reality.

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Do I possess value as a unique creation of God? Sure. Of course, if I refuse to submit to God's expectations for my life, the whole of Scripture teaches me that my self -centered life is vain, empty, and worthless.

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We discussed that in some length in episode 224, your parenting is not in vain. But does it really matter how amazing you think you are if you are no practical good to the people around you?

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You may be an extremely talented artist, but if no one gets to see your creations, then no one will celebrate your artistry.

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You may be a world -renowned chef, but if you refuse to cook for anyone but yourself, then you can't expect people to value you for your cooking.

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In the same way, as I submit to God's plan for my life and realize the value He's created me to have,

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I will be unable to truly accomplish God's will in His way for His reasons and in His power unless I am being conformed to His image.

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And submitting to that will transform me into an ambassador who speaks the truth in love. And that will mean that the value

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I bring to my relationships will not solely be who I am, but what I do because of who

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I am. So yes, this mother is valuable to her children because she parents in the fear of the

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Lord. And that is worthwhile in both the seemingly mundane ways, like providing for the family in verse 15, and the obviously significant ways, like leading her children in the fear of the

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Lord in verse 26. Now we'll look at the work this mother does next time.

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But for now, I just want us to reflect on the fact that the most valuable parents on the planet are those who fear the

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Lord. That truth is beautiful, it's significant, and it runs against the very fiber of our sinful humanity.

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This is why it takes the supernatural act of God to become the truth of parent He's called and created us to be. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her.

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Many women have done excellently, but you surpassed them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the

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Lord is to be praised. And this lends itself to our second point for today. As you may remember from the

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Teach Your Children to Learn series, the circle of learning is something that God has created us, commanded us, and empowered us to travel.

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By the way, any episodes I reference during the show will be linked in the description of this episode and on the blog post at Taking Back the

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Family. Our fear of the Lord should motivate us to learn His truth, understand it, and put it to practical use in our lives.

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The Bible calls that practical application of truth, wisdom. Wisdom is not a collection of information nor esoteric experiences.

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Wisdom is the actual elbow grease and footwork required to use the knowledge we have in the various situations we face in life.

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So the second main theme concerning the Proverbs 31 mother is, number two, a biblical mother is wise.

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The two sub -points of this theme are the application of her wisdom and the consequence of her wisdom.

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To be honest, every verse in this passage is an example of her wisdom and what happens when one is wise, but I want to focus particularly on the following verses.

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In verses 10 and 30, we again see that her value is tied directly to her wisdom. She fears the Lord and lives accordingly.

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She is a valuable woman. But in verses 11 and 12, we read, the heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain.

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She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. This is not only A, an example of her wisdom, but B, it shows us the consequence of her wise living.

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Her husband trusts her. Is there anyone more trustworthy than a wise person?

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If an individual isn't wise, we can't trust them to do and say and think and feel what is right. We can't trust them to have integrity.

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We can't trust them with anything. Our Parenting a Zombie series is all about how dangerous a fool is.

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A fool is the opposite of a wise man, and fools cannot be trusted to do anything but that which will hurt the fool and everyone around him.

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As I already said, every verse in this passage is an example of the Proverbs 31 mother's wisdom, the outworking of her spiritual knowledge lived out in her life.

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But we need to give special attention to verse 26 as well. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

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Wisdom clearly cannot merely extend to what we do, it also needs to apply to all we say.

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It's two sides of the same coin, really. If we're believing right, our desires will be right and our actions, words, and feelings will be right as well.

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So many moms and dads think they're doing all the right things. They provide for their kids, impress on them the importance of education, they feed their kids and care for their health, and they try to give them enriching experiences.

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But when it comes to teaching their kids and interpreting for their kids, their parenting content is rooted in themselves, the culture of some mainstream parenting guru.

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A good follow -up to this point would be our Rock, Bread, and Donut series. During those episodes, we discuss how it's so easy to give our kids rocks and donuts instead of providing them the life -giving bread

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God commands. When we live like that, our teaching and reproving and counseling and training, even those seemingly good things, aren't rooted in God's truth.

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But a biblical ambassador parent is going to open their mouths with wisdom, the Lord's wisdom. So how about you moms and dads?

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Are you known for having a deep and abiding love and admiration for the Lord? Does that soul -stirring reverence inform your parenting?

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If you desire to be a biblical Proverbs 31 parent, then that is the starting point. Now, those are the two main themes with which

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I want to deal today. A biblical mother and father is valuable, and they are wise. Their value is rooted in the fear of the

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Lord, and their wisdom lives itself out in all they say and do and results in the fact that those who know them can trust them.

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Please share this episode with your friends who desire to be more biblical parents, and join us next time as we study the remaining two themes from Proverbs 31, 10 -31.

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Yes, it's a big, exhausting, supernatural task to be a truth -loved parent, but God has the way, and we are here to help you walk it.

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So to that end, I'll see you next time. Truth. Love. Parents. Is part of the

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Evermind Ministries family, and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional, premeditated parent.

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Join us next time as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.