A Word in Season: Both Sides of the Story (Proverbs 18:17)

One of the most valuable proverbs for me personally and professionally and then pastorally has been

Proverbs 18 and verse 17. Now I cannot recall precisely when

I first read it and felt something of its force and understood something of its value. Perhaps it was explained to me or perhaps it was just reading through the scriptures and I was gripped by its sanctified common sense.

But it says the first one to plead his cause seems right until his neighbor comes and examines him.

And it's the question of finding two sides of the story. Perhaps it might be in a family situation and you're dealing with siblings.

You have to deal with your sons and your daughters and one of them has one version and you need to make sure that you hear the other version.

Could be a professional situation, you're dealing with colleagues, people who are working together with different perspectives and you hear one side of the story.

Perhaps it's a pastoral situation, there's some kind of tension or issue or question arising in the church.

Maybe you're involved in some kind of mediation and it's important to remember that the first one to plead his cause seems right.

And I think most of us know by experience what that's like. The first time we hear that one side of the story it seems watertight and compelling.

Now most of us have an instinct to cast ourselves in a good light when we're telling a story.

And often we're particularly invested in a situation and so we present it in a way that shows ourselves to be the hero or the victim.

But whatever it is, we present the facts just twisted, just coloured enough to make sure that we come out with our intended outcome.

Now this is a sort of a courtroom situation that the teacher of the Proverbs seems to have in mind.

And so now you have the other side of the story. His neighbour comes and examines him.

Now if you're wise, you might need to go and find this other side of the story. Certainly wisdom means listening to it, making sure that it's not just that first version but the other version.

And it may be that certain facts need to be corrected or certain perceptions need to be clarified.

Certain interpretations need to be exposed and made more straightforward.

But whatever may be the case, here are those two different perspectives.

The first one to plead his cause, and that seems right. It seems persuasive and final until his neighbour comes and examines him.

Certainly it reminds us that we need to be extremely careful when we're telling our side of the story, that it doesn't become twisted.

You may have been the victim of such a story. You may have been the one who tells that kind of a story.

You may have been the person who comes in and tells the other side of the story and checks and tests to see whether these things are so.

Most of us will have been in more than one role within this kind of environment.

But it emphasises for us the real wisdom, whether we are telling or hearing, of making sure that we hear both sides of the story, that we don't jump to conclusions, that we don't assume that we've seen it all.

It's very easy for even a righteous sense of justice to be provoked into careless action because we hear one thing and presume we know everything that there is to know.

We need to move carefully, we need to move slowly, we need to listen to what is being said, we need to seek things out before we assume that we know the truth of them and act upon those assessments.

Matthew Henry says quite quaintly but very clearly that God has given us two ears to make sure that we hear both sides of the story.

So whether it is personally or professionally or pastorally or whatever your circumstances may be, remember that the first one to plead his cause will seem right until his neighbour comes and examines him.

And so if you would do righteously, if you would seek what is truly just, if you would know what is true, and if you would honour

God both in hearing, understanding and responding to whatever story you're hearing, make sure that you hear both sides, remembering always that the first one to plead his cause seems right until his neighbour comes and examines him.