House Rule #8 Select Qualified Deacons (1 Timothy 3:8-13) | Adult Sunday School

Good morning, good to see each one of you here today. Invite you to open your Bibles once again to 1 Timothy. This morning, we're looking again at 1 Timothy chapter three, at what we're calling house rules for God's church.

And this is rule number eight, select qualified deacons. And there's an outline here. Rick has outlined, if you don't have one yet, he'll serve you, which is our theme for the day. You get your illustrations wherever you can, you know, Nathal, so I find them wherever I can find them.

Before we do, let's commit our time to our Lord in prayer and ask his blessing. Our Father, we do thank you that you have gathered us here today. We know it is by your grace. We know that it is for the purpose of worshiping you.

So we just thank you for that great privilege. And you made that possible through Jesus Christ, our Lord. We pray now, Father, that as we study your word, you would be our teacher by your spirit, that you would help us to be hearers of the word, but also doers of the word.

May you be glorified in it. And we just ask it in Jesus' mighty name, amen. Last time, we looked at the qualifications for elders in 1 Timothy chapter three, the first part. I'm getting a little bit of a...

Are you all hearing that or is that just me? I never know if the ringing in my ears is just the normal ringing that I always have. But last time, we looked at the office of elder and how important that was to the church and the priority that it is given in the word of God, and especially in this letter.

Paul, you hear that?

Good, it's not me.

Okay, I think we're there now, maybe, maybe not. The wonders of modern technology. Charles Haddon Spurgeon preached in the Metropolitan Tabernacle, that massive cavernous building without any amplification, apparently.

He must have had quite a voice.

He did, yeah.

Okay, I think we're good now. That sounds a little bit better. But the issue of elders we dealt with last time, very, very important, and we saw that the basic definition in scripture is a plurality of godly men who are charged by God with leading and feeding the church.

So you have the imagery there, of course, of the shepherd, and that's what their task is, to shepherd the church. And we saw that the motivation is internal by the Spirit of God to lead the man to want to do that, and of course, we want through the qualification for that.

What we're gonna see here in the qualifications for deacons will really be an echo of that. You're gonna see some of the very same things, and it only makes sense, right, that qualifications that are spiritual qualifications would be pretty much across the board.

It's not gonna be compartmentalized into vastly different kinds of qualifications. And, by the way, these are qualifications, for the most part, for every single believer in Jesus Christ. We are all supposed to have these qualities in our lives as we grow in Christ.

One of the observations that the students of the New Testament made is that when the church was born on Pentecost, it had already in place the concept of male leadership in the church. Of course, this would have come out of the history of the temple worship led by men, and also as the Jews were dispersed throughout the nations when they established synagogues, they were led by men.

Christ had personally chosen the 12. We know that Judas passed off the scene, as he did. He was replaced by Matthias in Acts chapter one. So on the day of Pentecost, when 3 ,000 people were saved, the leadership of the church was in place in the person of the 12 apostles, and they basically functioned like the elders would function later on, ministry of the word and so on.

Paul, of course, was added later. And as the church moved out into the world in that initial missionary movement, the churches were established and they needed shepherds. And so that apostolic generation would eventually pass off the scene, and it is very clear from the New Testament that there is not a succession of apostles.

In spite of what various systems have taught and different movements have taught through the years, there are no more apostles. There is a succession, but it's not of people. It is of the truth, the word of God, the scriptures.

This is what we pass on down to the next generation. So early on, God ordained that his church would be led by a plurality of godly men. And as Paul says in Titus chapter one, who must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and to rebuke those who contradict it.

So as we arrive at chapter three, verses eight through 13, the apostle Paul describes the qualifications for another office in the church, an office that apparently was not known at the birth of the church, the office of deacon.

This is another group of leaders that is critical, absolutely critical to the health and the functioning of God's church. On the day of Pentecost, recorded next to the 12 apostles, were the leaders of this brand new entity called the body of Christ, the church.

And the Jews, the Old Testament Jews, the Old Testament Jewish Christians now would have automatically assumed that the church would be led by men. Again, because of the temple being led by men and synagogues would have had male leadership.

But there was not an office known as deacons. So when the need arose in Acts chapter six, there was no office in place. And so the need came about and the apostles responded to that need. So this morning there on your notes, starting with Roman numeral one, we're gonna look at the office and then the qualifications and then the rewards.

The Servant Mindset of Christ in John 13

First, the office. Best place to start here, I think, is John chapter 13. Because even though the office is not mentioned there in the upper room, the mindset is, and this is really critical to understand, Christ wants to establish in his disciples the mindset of servanthood.

And of course, in John chapter 13, he's gathering them in the upper room the night before his crucifixion and he gives them very, very powerful audio, visual, and even tactile lesson when he washes their feet.

It says in chapter 13, now before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.

During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper, he laid aside his outer garments and taking a towel, tied it around his waist.

This would have been the garb of the typical household servant, to wrap a towel around their waist to serve people. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

And of course, we know when he came to Simon Peter, they had that interchange, and then he has to later on tell them actually what he did. Verse 13, you call me teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am.

If I then, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant, and here it's the word doulos, the absolute slave, is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.

If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them. So there at the very beginning, even before he dies on the cross, he wants to instill in his disciples the mindset of service to one another. And then in Philippians chapter two, we won't turn there, but later on, the Apostle Paul has to remind the Philippians of this same attitude, and you know that passage very well, Philippians chapter two, let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus.

And so then he talks about the servanthood of Christ and how his death on the cross was a sacrifice that paid atonement for sins, but it also becomes the model for how we are to consider ourselves in service to one another.

So these are two foundational passages to look at as far as the office and how it had its actual initial beginning. It starts with the mindset, and then later on, in Acts chapter six, when the need arises, we see its development.

This is B on your outline. So if you look at Acts chapter six, this is thought by many to be the very beginning of the office of deacons. Now, there are those that say, well, it really didn't start here because it doesn't formally call this an office or it doesn't call them deacons, but what we're gonna see, I think, here is, you do see the beginning of this office within the church itself.

So here you have the church. It is after the day of Pentecost. The disciples are preaching and teaching in synagogue, and back up in chapter five, of course, they meet opposition by the religious establishment of the day, and they're arrested.

They're charged in verse 28 of five. It says, we strictly charge you not to teach in this name, yet here you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching, and you intended to bring this man's blood upon us.

How did they respond? They said, okay, we're never gonna do that again. We're going home, we'll see you later, goodbye. They didn't do that. Verse 29, but Peter and the apostles answered, we must obey God rather than men.

Also very foundational to who we are and what we are. And then he gives that great sermon there from 30 on down in chapter five, and he really just pulls out the old Louisville slugger, and this is some real blunt force evangelism here.

Basically, he tells these Jewish leaders, you murdered your own Messiah. That's what he tells them. And then down in verse 38 and following, they are again called in, verse 40, and when they had called in the apostles, they beat them and charged them not to speak in the name of Jesus and let them go.

And once again, then they left the presence of the council rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name. And what did they do? Every day in the temple and from house to house, very important little phrase there, house to house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ.

Now, the very next verse in chapter six, verse one, this is a little bit of a progress report. This tells you how the Holy Spirit responded to their obedience to the will of God, to obeying God. Now, in these days, when the disciples were increasing in number, okay, a complaint by the Hellenists arose among the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution.

The Hellenists were Greek-speaking converts to Christianity. They were Jews who had lived outside of Jerusalem, Judea. And of course, the commonly spoken language was Greek, Koine Greek, common Greek.

It was a trade language and commonly spoken by people out in those areas, other countries. They were saved, came in, and they were part of the church. And there apparently was some sort of a conflict with the feeding of these widows.

The Greek-speaking widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. By the way, that word is diakonia, the very word that we get the word deacon from. The word deacon is simply just a transliteration of the Greek word.

It's just brought over into our language, basically untranslated. And here is this word, one of the part in the family of those words, diakonia, in the distribution. Apparently, there was still some animosity within the church, okay?

You remember back in chapter two of 1 Timothy where Paul talks about men leading worship, that he wants them to lead worship without anger or wrath. These were saved people, they were in the church, but there was probably still some residual animosity even between Jews and Gentiles.

And at least here, something was going on between the Hebrew-speaking people and the Jewish-speaking people. They were making some kind of a division and some sort of an issue had arose and these Hellenistic or Greek-speaking widows were not being fed when the church would feed the widows.

And the apostles then are going to respond. Verse two says, and the 12 summoned the full number of the disciples and said, it is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables.

Now we have the verb form, diakonene, of that very same word. Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty.

So here, the 12, the apostles, are functioning like the elders would function later on. They have oversight over the church, but they are also delegating responsibility to the congregation to select these men to serve the widows.

And we're going to see why would the congregation be involved in that? Well, they have to be men of good report, good reputation. And who would know that? The congregation would know that. But they delegate that to them and it says, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty.

So even though they delegated the responsibility to select some men, ultimately, because they had oversight over the church, as elders do today, they were the ones that were going to actually make the final decision as to who would serve.

But here's verse four, it's really important. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry, by the way, also the word, diakonos, of the word. Even though there was a need arose in the church to meet this need, they delegated responsibility to find people to meet that need.

They kept the priority of the word and prayer. This priority then extends clear into the church. This is one of the reasons you have elders dedicated to preaching and teaching the word of God. It's a priority of the church.

And you have the deacons who help them maintain that priority by taking care of other things. Even though it's a critical ministry and it's a spiritual ministry, the preaching of the word and the teaching of the word is the priority of the church.

Verse five says, and what they said pleased the whole gathering. And they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip and Prochorus and Nicanor and Timon and Parmenas and Nicolaus, a proselyte of Antioch, Greek names, by the way.

Pretty wise to do that. These they set before the apostles and they prayed and laid their hands on them. And just to give you another progress report to show you how the Holy Spirit honored their obedience to doing this and to maintaining the priority of the preaching of the word, look at verse seven.

And the word of God continued to increase and the number of the disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem and a great many of the priests became obedient to the faith. It's one of the first of six progress reports in the book of Acts.

They obeyed God, they obeyed the leading of the spirit, they kept the priorities where they should be and yet they met the need that came up in the church and God honored that and the church continued to grow and multiply.

And by the way, a great many priests became obedient to the faith. What you're gonna see is, and it's really important to see, is that this internal ministry within the church is a powerful evangelistic tool.

It may be the most powerful evangelistic tool. When Jesus, again, met with his disciples in the upper room and it's back to chapter 13, a new commandment I give you that you love one another, internal ministry, just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another. Powerful evangelistic tool is the internal ministry, the one another ministries of the church to the outside world.

We may not think of it that way, but it is and you can clearly see it here. They kept the priority of the word of God in prayer and God honored that by multiplying their numbers right there in Jerusalem, even in the midst of persecution, right?

So, the origin of the office, the thinking, the undergirding mindset from John 13 in the example of Christ, but also in Acts chapter six, the one another ministries of the New Testament is put on display.

Well, what about the purpose? The purpose, of course, simply to serve. It's very important to see the office of deacons is a service ministry and it is a ministry. The duties are not stated in our passage, as we'll see, because it covers just a wide range of duties.

Certainly, it would have involved feeding the widows if that was part of what they did then and it would include that. But the main division of labor, so to speak, is that the elders focus on the feeding and leading and the deacons focus on the other ministries of the church.

The word is used more than 100 times in its various forms in the New Testament. For example, Matthew 4, 11, the temptation of Christ after he was tempted by Satan and Satan left him, it says, then the devil left him and behold, angels came and ministered to him in the ESV.

That is the word deaconun, very same word family. They were deacons to Christ. And then in Matthew chapter 20, even before he got into the upper room, the Lord had to give his disciples a lesson in how their minds were supposed to get right as far as service.

They anticipated the coming of the kingdom. There was a very high level of messianic hope and expectation in that time, in that place and with those people. And here, they have the king right in front of them.

They have the Messiah. They know who he is and he's clearly proven to be the rightful heir to the throne of David. So there's a high level of messianic expectation. They expected the kingdom to be implemented at any point in time.

And what did they do? They started jockeying for position in the coming kingdom. And two of them, as you remember, their mother tried to intercede for them. How embarrassing, right? Get your mother to go talk to Jesus.

And of course, it says in Matthew 20, when the 10 heard of it, they were indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus called them to him and said, you know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them.

And their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant. The word is diakonos, deacon. And whoever would be first among you must be your slave, doulos.

So here, just interchangeably, the word deacon and slave are in the same, very same context for the very same mindset. Even as the son of man came not to be served, diakono, but to serve, diakono, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Once again, Christ, the supreme example of service to those he loves. And hopefully these guys, I'm sure they were embarrassed at this teaching. But here you once again have this concept of Christ being the supreme example of service and servanthood to his flock and those who follow him are to do the very same thing.

So the origin, the mindset of course, is before Acts chapter six. But in Acts chapter six, we really see the implementation of it, I think, there. And its development is along the way. When Acts took place, depending on how you date this, and different people date it, but let's say 30 AD in Jerusalem.

In Philippians chapter one, and we looked at this last time, the Apostle Paul addresses the Philippian Christians. He probably wrote that around 60 AD, about 30 years later. He addresses that letter to the saints in Philippi with the overseers and deacons, and he uses the word for overseer there, and deacons.

So those two offices were in place at that point in time. And so you see that over about 30 year span of time, and then to our passage here in 1 Timothy chapter three, probably written around 62 AD. So by this time, the office was well established, and what Paul is doing here with Timothy, he's going back and he's correcting what went wrong in Ephesus.

They understood what the elders should have been doing, and he corrects that, and now he's correcting this idea of what the deacons are supposed to be doing, how they are supposed to be servants. So there's the office, its origin, its development, and its purpose is to serve.

And again, the supreme example of that, in case you're wondering, is Christ himself, and that great passage in Philippians, let this mind be in you, is so important to see. Well, then we're gonna see the qualifications in verses eight through 12 in our passage here this morning.

And again, it's going to be very similar to what we saw for the elders. And first we, and no surprise, his character. Deacons, verse eight, likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain.

So his character starts out, it has to be dignified. It means worthy of respect, and it's essentially basically synonymous with above reproach. We saw it two times in the criteria for elders. Above reproach is mentioned, we also saw it in Titus, two times, above reproach.

Doesn't mean without sin, it can't be that, that nobody would qualify for anything. But it means all of the accusations that are gonna come against a man who takes a stand for the word of God, who is slandered and accused of all kinds of things, they can't reach him and grab hold of him.

That's the literal understanding of that word. Can't be laid hold of by these accusations. And then not double-tongued, he must speak the truth. He cannot say one thing part of the time or live one way part of the time and then speak or live another way another time.

He must be a man of integrity. We're gonna see this a little later on when we talk about how he lives and his doctrine, his life and his doctrine. He's gotta be a man that is whole, you know, in math, an integer is a whole number.

It's integral, it doesn't have parts and pieces. And it's so typical nowadays. You hear somebody talk, and they talk pretty good, you know, somebody even in ministry. And then you find out over here, they've lived a life of sin, and it's found out, right?

Well, how did they do that? Well, so often, these people, they're not integrated in their life and doctrine, and they make a separation. And they stack up a whole bunch of religious stuff over here, thinking that it's gonna balance out this sinful life over here.

And the problem is, the minute this gets so far separated, the thing breaks down and it collapses. And when they get discovered, you realize, wait a minute, how could this guy, who's been a well-respected teacher or whatever he is in his so-called ministry, well, he's able to then, he's separated these two things and he's never been integrated.

A man has to be not double-tongued, he's got to live, think, speak the same. And of course, this is true for every single one of us. And then, not addicted to much wine, not a drunkard. He cannot be controlled or mastered by anything other than the Holy Spirit.

We saw this last time. What a person is addicted to controls them, it occupies them. They're always thinking about where they're going to get the next, you fill in the blank, to satisfy their addiction.

They are not controlled or filled with the Holy Spirit of God. And they're not greedy for dishonest gain. How he relates to money, and not just his own money, but to other people's money as well. Because very often, deacons are put in charge of financial issues within the church as part of their service ministry.

They must be able to handle the stewardship of money with integrity. And then, his doctrine. Again, very important, but also true for every single one of us. It says that they must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.

I think it was on page six of your notes, you have a list of the references to the faith that are in the New Testament. All of them aren't there, but there's quite a few of them there. It's talking about the content of our faith.

We have our subjective faith, of course, in Christ. And those two, of course, are linked. But what it really is talking about there is their faith, the faith is the content of our faith. The objective word of God.

The scriptures, the gospel, pure doctrine. He must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. Here we're back to this idea of being a whole person, right? If his conscience isn't clear, but his doctrine is, something's seriously wrong.

You can't operate that way, you can't function that way. His faith must be held with a clear conscience. His main duty may not include teaching or preaching, but there's nothing to prohibit deacons from teaching.

They should teach. There should be lots of teachers in the church. But he must be sound in his doctrine, as all the rest of us should be as well. And even though he may have some teaching responsibilities, it may not be the main thing he does as far as his service.

But whether or not he teaches, he must still hold to and believe in sound or healthy doctrine. And so we see then his character, his doctrine, and then his testing. It says, and let them also be tested first.

Then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. In the life of a Christian, these two things always go together, you know? Our life and our doctrine, as we're going to see. And so his testing would be a part of that.

It doesn't say it's a formal test. He doesn't give a formal test, other than pure doctrine and his life. And those things are always together. Our life, our morality, how we live, and it's often gathered up in the little word love.

Paul often talks about your faith and love. He wants to see your love as a product of your true faith or belief. Go back to the supreme example. Jesus, we're told in John 1 .14, was full of grace and truth.

He wasn't a good 50 -50 mix, by the way, like half-calf, you know? He wasn't a good blend. He was full of grace and full of truth, like no other human being who ever lived. He was fully God and fully man.

But these two parts of his person were there. Paul says in Ephesians 4 .15, we are to speak the truth in love. So both those things are there. Peter told his readers, verse 2 Peter 3 .18, his last words to the church, grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

And even if you look over at chapter four, verse 16, right there in 1 Timothy, Paul's real concerned about Timothy's doctrine, but he's also concerned about his life. And he says, keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching.

Persist in this, for by so doing, you will save both yourself and your heirs. And he's really concerned about his spiritual life, his morality, as well as his doctrine. Both of those have to be in place.

So a deacon should be tested concerning these things. Titus was, if you go into Titus, Titus, very interesting, and he's on the island of Crete. And Timothy, of course, is in Ephesus. Titus is mentioned 13 times in the New Testament, nine times in 2 Corinthians.

He was a big help to the Apostle Paul in Paul's Corinthian ministry. Read through 2 Corinthians, see how often Titus is mentioned. And in 2 Corinthians chapter eight, he's talking about this offering that is taken, and it's going to be taken and given to people who are suffering during a time of famine.

And Titus is put in charge of that. And Paul entrusts Titus. So Titus was a very trustworthy man. He certainly would have qualified as a deacon in Paul's ministry. Extremely helpful to him. So he is to be tested as far as these things, and even the men in Acts chapter six were tested according to that criteria, full of the Holy Spirit and so on.

Very, very important. And then D, his wife. This is probably a verse that has maybe the most interpretive issues swirling around it. The ESV says, their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.

Now, that word wife there, here it's plural, wives, can also be translated as woman. And how you understand that word being used here by Paul is going to decide usually how you, whether or not you see this as the establishment of a third office in the church, an office of deaconess.

The New American Standard says women. The Christian Standard Bible, wives, NIV took it to be women. Some, again, have taken this to be a third office in the church. And they'll use this passage and translate this as women so that there would be the establishment, they say, of an office of deaconesses in the church.

They might go to Romans chapter 16, verse one and two, where Paul talks about Phoebe. He commends Phoebe and calls her a deacon and talks about how much of a servant she was to him and to others in ministry.

But even there, he's not establishing any kind of an office and doesn't talk about her as if she's part of an office. He simply is commending her for her service to him and to other people in the church.

The word there is supplied by the translators. So the translators of the ESV obviously are taking this to be the wives of deacons. Very literally it says, wives, likewise, dignified, not slanders, sober-minded, faithful, in all things.

And others argue that if it's a reference to the deacon's wives, why is there no reference to the qualifications for the elders' wives back in chapter three, verses one through seven? Why aren't the wives of the elders mentioned in the qualifications for elders?

Not all elders are married, that could be, but there's also a very fundamental reason. Elders are in charge of oversight over the entire church, which would include men. And what has Paul done up in chapter two, verses 11 through 15?

He excludes women from that office for that very reason. They are not to have oversight or be in charge of men, have authority over men. So he eliminates that right out of the starting blocks there as far as a participant in that ministry.

So when you see an advertisement for a church and it says pastors, you know, and there's two names and it's the pastor and his wife are the pastors of that church, generally speaking, that arrangement is not going to be biblical because she is considered to be a co-pastor with him or a co-elder.

That is not scriptural according to 1 Timothy, okay? And so that's one of those arguments. If he is addressing the wives of deacons, it's not an office of oversight or ruling in that regard. And his wife very well could participate with him in anything she's qualified to help him with and she should, right?

If he's involved in feeding people, mercy ministries, those types of things, then she more than likely would participate in that. Even though she is not a deacon in the church, she could participate in that as well.

Even church history into the fourth century, Canon 19, the Council of Nicaea, it's the first mention of the idea of women being deacons and that's a long ways into church history. But if this is a reference to the wives of the deacons, one of the reasons that I take it that way, the very same word is used in verse 12.

Let deacons each be the husband of one wife. There it's singular but it's exact same word. Now if you're gonna translate a word two different ways within an immediate context, you should probably have some pretty strong warrant from the context itself.

And so it makes sense for this to be understood to be wives and not just generically women. In verse 12, also the issue of the deacon's management of his household comes up and I think verse 11 is simply Paul introducing this concept.

Who would be the deacon's most important person in his household?

Men.

Get it right. His wife, right? His wife is the most important relationship in his household. Not his children, they're important. Like I always tell my granddaughters when they were young, I love children when they're properly cooked.

Or even the parental generation. There's an important principle in the scripture, clear back to creation, right? Is that the generation when they're married, they become an entity, they become something very special and important.

And that marriage, that relationship is more important than the previous generation and even the subsequent generation of children. They're gonna pass away and the children, probably, we'll go out of the picture at some point in time, the marriage is still there.

And God brought those two people together for that purpose. And so I think what he's doing here, he's simply introducing wives into the picture because they're the most important part of this man's household.

And so another issue is here, too. If he is introducing a new office in verse 11, it's a little strange, just in the narrative here, to see him insert this issue of women deaconesses and then pick back up again talking about the requirements for deacons, okay?

It's a little strange. And she has a pretty short list of requirements as well. So Paul probably would have talked about elders and then deacons, male deacons, and then deaconesses. And he would have put more stress on the office, but he really just sort of inserts this in here.

So I think the best way to understand it is he's making a reference to the deacon's wives. Their wives, likewise, must be dignified, not slanderous, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. Again, these requirements are requirements that every single Christian should strive for.

And then, again, we're still in this idea of his household. His wife, most important part of his household, but then the rest of his household. It says, let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their households well.