The Role of a Husband (Part 2) | Adult Sunday School

Kootenai Church

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December 10, 2023

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The Role of a Husband (Part 3) | Adult Sunday School

18:16: Good morning. Merry Christmas.
18:26: Was I the first one to say Merry Christmas to you? Yeah? Just kidding.
18:34: I know a guy, he's gone to be with the Lord now, but he was so discouraged with the lack of people wishing
18:39: Merry Christmas, this was, I don't know, maybe 10, 15 years ago, that he would, every Christmas he would go to the bank and he would draw out several hundred dollars in five dollar bills and he would walk around with them in his pocket and anybody who would wish him a
18:55: Merry Christmas, he'd give him a five dollar bill. He wouldn't tell him ahead of time. They had to volunteer a
19:00: Merry Christmas and then he would reach in and give him a five dollar bill. You want one? Did you say Merry Christmas?
19:07: When you see him in glory, because that's where he is, you can remind him.
19:15: You can remind him. Well, let's pray and we'll get started. Our Father, we are very grateful as we remember the gift of the
19:27: Lord Jesus Christ each and every day that as a demonstration of your love and your mercy and your grace that you and the person of your
19:43: Son reached out to us and sent him that he might bear our sin, that he might live the life that we're commanded and yet can never live, and that because of his righteousness he was raised from the dead, and by the sending of your
20:06: Spirit you unite us with him in that death, burial, and resurrection, that where he is we may someday be also.
20:16: As we wait for his return or our departure to meet him, we pray, our
20:24: Father, that we would grow in his likeness, surely, steadily, incrementally, day by day, as we seek to conform to the image of Christ through his word, for his glory alone, amen.
20:41: Well, it is the Christmas season, and with it comes all kinds of festivities and activities, and not the least of which is
20:50: Christmas dinner, I think. I know Christmas dinner is always a highlight in our home. We're a prime rib
20:55: Christmas dinner kind of family, so we endure turkey on Thanksgiving that we might look forward to prime rib on Christmas, amen, exactly.
21:08: But it has been my observation over time that the vast majority of people like to eat, but few like to cook and clean up.
21:18: Most like to eat, but very few like to cook and clean up, and you know marriage is a bit like that. Marriage is a bit like that.
21:26: But marriage is a good gift from God, and it is designed by God to be one of life's greatest blessings.
21:35: We read in the words of Solomon in Proverbs 18 and verse 22 that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the
21:44: Lord. But like eating a delicious meal, someone has to do the hard work of preparation and cleanup.
21:53: Somebody has to do it. We have spent considerable time addressing the role of the wife, it's considerable time, and now we return again to the whole topic of biblical submission and authority for our second session with the husbands.
22:13: So we have concluded our time with the wives, and now we are launching into the husbands, and we come here for our second message.
22:23: In husbands, men, God has sovereignly placed us in a position of great authority and thus great influence over our wives and our children.
22:35: And from that position of authority, we are commanded by the New Testament to act in a manner consistent with servant leadership, servant leadership, that which is most perfectly displayed in the person of the
22:48: Lord Jesus Christ himself. Now, a leadership position is nonetheless a position of authority.
22:58: As we've said before, we'll continue to emphasize through this whole time together that there is no leadership without authority.
23:07: There is no leadership without authority. They are joined at the hip. Our outline is 14 characteristics, 14 characteristics of a husband's authority so that we might understand, appreciate, and exercise it in a
23:24: Christ -honoring fashion in our both homes and marriages. That's the big outline, 14 characteristics.
23:32: We looked at the first of them last week. You can find your way to Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 23.
23:39: We looked at the first of them last week, and we'll just review it here quickly to catch us up to speed,
23:50: Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the
24:00: Savior of the body. And we noted last time that our first characteristic is simply this, that a husband's authority is unavoidable.
24:10: A husband's authority is unavoidable. And we noted that that unavoidable nature of a husband's authority is demonstrated in a number of ways.
24:22: And here in this text, in verse 23 of chapter 5, we noted that it is inherent in the meaning of the word head.
24:32: We've looked at that a bunch of times. We'll probably continue to hammer it home because it's such a foundational idea, but it is inherent in the concept of the word head, kephele, the
24:41: Greek word that means authority over or ruler, means authority over a ruler.
24:48: That's what the word head means in the Greek, as Paul uses it here. We noted as well that the unavoidable nature of the husband's authority is demonstrated in the events of creation.
25:01: We looked at the events of creation, and we noted a number of aspects there.
25:06: We noted, for example, that Adam's priority in creation, Genesis 2 of 7, that he was created first.
25:13: He was created first, thus placed in a position of priority. He was created first.
25:20: And Paul picks up on that very same truth and employs it himself in 1 Corinthians 11, in verse 8, where he is there speaking about authority and submission and so forth.
25:31: Or he says, verse 8 of chapter 11, 1 Corinthians, man does not originate from woman, but woman from man.
25:39: So Adam's priority, he was created first. Beyond that, we noted partnership, partnership, that Eve was made, or the woman was made to be his helpmate, to be his partner in life, to be one who corresponds to him,
25:56: Genesis 2 .18. And again, Paul reaches back into Genesis, picks that up, and brings it to bear on his arguments there in 1
26:08: Corinthians 11, in verse 9. Man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.
26:16: So we have the partnership that she is a helpmate. We also noted the dominion mandate demonstrates the unavoidable nature of the husband's leadership and authority, and that is that the dominion mandate was given to Adam first.
26:34: It was given first to him. She was created to share with him in that mandate, but the mandate was given first to him,
26:41: Genesis 2 .15. Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the Garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.
26:49: God gave him the dominion mandate. And then, culpability, culpability.
26:58: God calls to Adam after the fall. In Genesis 3 .9,
27:03: God seeks out Adam and says, where are you? You know, what have you done?
27:09: He says later in the chapter. And Paul, again, understanding the deep foundational truths of these things, enlisted in his argument in Romans 5 .12,
27:20: where he writes, Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sin, sin entered into the world through one man,
27:31: Adam, because he was ultimately culpable. He was ultimately culpable.
27:39: We also noted here in Ephesians 5 .23, the grammatical construction. We looked at the difference between the indicative and the imperative, recognized that the indicative verb, where it says here, the husband is, the indicative verb is, the head of the wife is a statement of reality, not a command to be obeyed.
27:57: Statement of reality, not a command to be obeyed. Husbands are never commanded to become their wives' heads.
28:04: That is never found in the scripture. That happened when they wed. When they exchanged vows, in a modern context, it happened, it occurred, he became her head.
28:18: Finally, last week, we noted that the unavoidable nature of the husband's authority produces an inescapable leadership within the home.
28:27: The unavoidable nature creates an inescapable leadership role. Because the man, the husband, is the head, he's the one who carries the authority in the husband -wife relationship.
28:42: As we noted from one writer, we cannot, as men, successfully refuse to lead.
28:49: We cannot successfully refuse to lead. It is our lot, gentlemen, when we wed.
28:57: So, that's all by way of review. That's all I last week condensed down for you. Second, second characteristic, this is where the information becomes new.
29:07: Second characteristic, a husband's authority is covenantal.
29:13: A husband's authority is covenantal. Now, every culture, in every place, in every time, has a discernible way of designating who is and who is not married.
29:33: Every culture, in every place, in every time, has a discernible way of determining who are married and who are not.
29:46: And that is essential to the survival of the culture. It's absolutely essential.
29:55: Destroy marriage, you will destroy the family. If you destroy the family, you will destroy the society.
30:05: If you destroy the society, you will destroy the nation. And this, by the way, is the demonic agenda behind so much of what we see going on around us.
30:17: The attack on the family is ultimately an attack on humanity itself. Now, the marriage ceremony itself, as I say, every culture, every place, every time, some discernible means and mechanism to determine this.
30:33: It can be simple. For example, Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24 is a very simple ceremony.
30:43: You know, he sees her, he comes out, he meets her, he takes her, and he places her in his mother's tent, the woman's tent.
30:51: And the scripture very delicately basically says, you know, that they knew one another and they were married.
31:02: All right? So it's a very simple ceremony. It can be very elaborate.
31:11: It can be very elaborate. For example, in the Song of Solomon, chapter 3, verses 6 and following, where we see
31:18: Solomon's wedding to his Shulamite bride. And it is very elaborate, very ornate, and would rival any royal wedding that we have ever seen or read about.
31:30: Okay? So it can be very, very elaborate or it can be very simple. It can be very simple. So it's not the elaborateness of the marital ceremony that creates its, what am
31:42: I looking for, the essential nature of it. Okay? It can be very, very simple.
31:47: Very simple. But whether simple or elaborate, some type of legal and social arrangement is required to establish a marriage.
31:58: Some kind of legal social arrangement is needed in order to establish a marriage.
32:06: In the Old Testament, marriage is referred to as a covenant between man and woman, between a man and a woman.
32:14: It is called a covenant. It's called a covenant. For example, in Proverbs, chapter 2, verse 17, where we read, the adulteress leaves the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her
32:28: God. She forgets the covenant of her God. In Malachi, chapter 2, and verse 14, where there
32:38: Malachi is addressing the unfaithful among Israel, and he says to them who are leaving their wives for foreign women, that's in the same chapter where he says
32:50: God hates divorce, right? Because they are divorcing their Israelite wives and taking foreign women.
32:56: He says, she, that is your Israelite bride, is your companion and your wife by covenant.
33:03: She is your companion and your wife by covenant. So the Old Testament refers to marriage as a covenant.
33:11: And that is a very important idea to recognize because it speaks about how God views the marriage relationship.
33:18: How he views the marriage relationship. In other words, it's not just a social arrangement.
33:24: Not just a social arrangement. It is actually a covenant. Bruce Waltke, in his very fine two -volume commentary on Proverbs and making commentary on Proverbs 2 .17,
33:39: he writes the following, God is the witness to and guarantor and author of marriage obligations.
33:49: God is the witness to and guarantor and author of marriage obligations.
33:56: So, marriage is a covenant. That necessitates the question, what is a covenant?
34:05: What is a covenant? We can look to, for example, the book called
34:13: Biblical Doctrines by MacArthur and Mayhew, another book I would recommend you add to your library, where they write, a covenant is a formal agreement or treaty between two parties with obligations and regulations.
34:29: A formal agreement or treaty between two parties with obligations and regulations.
34:36: This agreement binds the two parties together legally or socially or religiously and theologically or some combination of all of them.
34:51: Now, when did marriage as a covenantal relationship first begin?
34:58: When did it happen? When can we observe its first occurrence in Scripture? You know the answer, don't you?
35:04: That's right. We want to turn all the way back to the beginning. Why are the early chapters of Genesis always under attack by scoffers and unbelievers, huh?
35:15: What do you think? Could it have something to do with it lays the foundation for everything else?
35:23: All the truths from there forward are laid in those first 11 chapters. So here we are in chapter 2, where we find the first covenantal relationship called marriage.
35:38: Now, question for you. What were Adam's first words?
35:45: What were Adam's first words? Well, we don't know. We don't know.
35:53: But his first recorded words were something like this. Wow! Wow! Verse 23.
36:06: The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
36:13: She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.
36:20: Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.
36:29: Now, unless you think I'm just being dramatic for effect, let me suggest to you that the animation in Adam's voice is textually supported by the threefold use of the demonstrative adjective, this one.
36:46: This one. Literally, this one is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
36:53: This one shall be called woman because this one was taken out of man.
37:07: The most complete physical correspondence to this new person is found in her.
37:17: As he looks at her, he says, This one. I've had
37:24: Mr. and Mrs. Dog. I've had Mr. and Mrs. Cow. I've had Mr. and Mrs. Chicken. And there's no, like,
37:30: Mrs. Me. Now there is. Now there is.
37:36: And this one, right? Dog's not a man's best friend. Not at all.
37:42: This one. She and he are made out of the same stuff.
37:49: The same stuff. And that's, he gives expression to that reality, right?
37:54: The bone, if you use bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she corresponds identically with me.
38:09: Now, there's more to this than that statement. It's not less than that. It's not less than that amazing declaration that he now has someone like him.
38:21: But there's more. There's more. I think there's at least two other significant realities that are expressed here by Adam in his first recorded words.
38:35: And the first one is this, that Adam is making a pledge of covenant loyalty to her.
38:42: He is making a pledge of covenant loyalty to her in these words.
38:49: Let me explain. The Old Testament sometimes uses the word flesh by itself to speak of a close relationship.
38:57: Close relationships. For example, Genesis 37 verse 27, Joseph is our brother, our own flesh.
39:05: That's just speaking about close familial relationships, right? They're brothers. Six times, six times, in the
39:16: Old Testament, the expression bone and flesh is used. And it is used in the context of relationships.
39:23: So six times used in the context of relationships, bone and flesh. It's kind of an unusual way to speak, isn't it?
39:30: We would normally think of flesh and bones, but it's bones and flesh. Oh, since we're in Genesis, let's just sample one of them.
39:40: For example, 29, 14. 29, 14.
39:55: Well, maybe we'll pick it up in 13. 29, 13. So when Laban heard the news of Jacob, his sister's son.
40:04: Jacob, his sister's son. That makes him a nephew. He ran to meet him and he embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his house.
40:14: Then he related to Laban all these things. And Laban said to him, surely you are my bone and my flesh.
40:20: He stayed with him a month. So it is a statement of familial connection. You share the same family blood.
40:29: And that is predominantly how it is used. However, two times, and actually the same incident reported in two separate
40:40: Old Testament accounts, seem to speak of covenant loyalty. Seem to speak of covenant loyalty.
40:47: So 2 Samuel 5, 1, 1 Chronicles 11, 1 are the same event reported twice.
40:55: So you can look over to 2 Samuel 5, 1. 2
41:03: Samuel 5, 1. Then all the tribes of Israel came to David at Hebron and said,
41:16: Behold, we are your bone and your flesh. Previously, when
41:23: Saul was king over us, you were the one who led Israel out and in. And the Lord said to you, you will shepherd my people
41:28: Israel and you will be ruler over Israel. Same is reported in 2
41:33: Chronicles, 1 Chronicles 11. So what's this all about?
41:41: They come to David at Hebron. Saul has been killed by the Philistines in battle and it has erupted into a civil war.
41:50: There's been an ongoing civil war for almost seven years. Finally, the house of Saul grew weak and the house of David prevailed.
41:58: And the northern tribes recognized this reality and they were suing for peace. They wanted peace to come to the nation.
42:05: And so they come to David and they say to him that,
42:12: Behold, we are your bone and your flesh. Now they are not saying we have the same roots. They're not saying we share blood here.
42:21: But instead, I believe what they are doing is pledging their loyalty to him. They're pledging their loyalty to him.
42:28: In other words, we will support you through all kinds of circumstances. You be our king.
42:34: You're the rightful king. You be the one we will support you. That's a that's a pledge of covenant loyalty.
42:41: I think the idea of flesh and bone speaks of weakness and strength. Weakness and strength.
42:48: So we are your bone and your flesh in strength and weakness.
42:55: We commit ourselves to you. Now, if that's correct, if that's a correct understanding.
43:06: I think it is, otherwise I wouldn't tell you. If that is a correct understanding and then we go back to Genesis 2 .23.
43:16: Then what we see here by Adam is more than just a statement about the woman's physical correspondence to him.
43:28: But beyond that, I believe what we are seeing is his covenantal pledge to her.
43:35: His covenantal pledge to her. In other words, that she is bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh.
43:43: He is committing himself to her in strength and weakness. By the way, we see that, don't we, in a modern marriage ceremony?
43:55: Don't we see that kind of covenantal pledge? In weakness and in strength, in sickness and in health till death do us part.
44:03: Isn't that what we recite to one another? Those kinds of ideas. And I think that's what
44:09: Adam is doing here. He is basically saying, in circumstances either good or bad, my loyalty and commitment to you will not be altered.
44:22: Doesn't take very long until it does, does it? And as all of you who have exchanged wedding vows know, it doesn't take long for you either.
44:32: It doesn't take long for you either. So I think there's a statement of covenantal loyalty here.
44:39: Secondly, I think Adam is making a statement about identity.
44:46: Her identity. Notice, she shall be called woman.
44:52: She shall be called woman. To call, in the creation context, is to establish both its name and its identity.
45:02: Both its name and its identity. So, for example, chapter 1, verse 5, God called the light day and the darkness he called night.
45:16: He called the light day and the darkness he called night. He names it and he establishes its identity of light and dark.
45:24: Day 2, in verse 8, he called the expanse heavens. He called the expanse heavens.
45:32: Day 3, in verse 10, he calls the dry land earth and the gathering of the waters he calls seas.
45:39: He names them and he identifies them. They are, from there on out, known as light and darkness, heaven, pardon me, earth and sea.
45:54: Even to this day. Even to this day. Now, here in 2 .23,
46:05: he calls her woman. He names her
46:10: Isha. He names her Isha, for she was taken out of Ish.
46:17: He names her Isha, woman, because she was taken out of Ish, man.
46:22: She is a partaker of his nature and a bearer of his name.
46:30: A taker of his nature and a bearer of his name. And he calls her and identifies her.
46:36: From that point forward, all the way to this day, ladies, right? You are
46:43: Isha, because you were taken from Ish. Now, it's interesting, we spoke of this last time.
46:50: Again, he doesn't use two different words. He doesn't use the words male and female. He uses the name that will forever, by its sound, remind them of their solidarity together, she and he.
47:06: She is a woman. She is a woman. We are in solidarity together.
47:16: We see further in chapter 5 and verse 2. I'll pick it up in verse 1.
47:28: This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day when God created man, he made him in the likeness of God.
47:36: He created them male and female, right? So the words exist. And he blessed them and named them
47:43: Adam. In the day when they were created. He named them
47:49: Adam. They are collectively Adam.
47:55: They are collectively called Adam. Together, they are Adam. The woman is not called
48:04: Adam individually. She is only called Adam in conjunction with her husband.
48:10: Only in conjunction with her husband. They are in conjunction, in union with one another, called
48:17: Adam or man. This is why a woman takes her husband's last name.
48:28: This is why, ladies, you took your husband's last name when you wed.
48:36: Because it denotes the establishment of the covenant by which you now are identified with him.
48:46: Such silliness, by the way, huh? When a woman refuses to take her husband's last name and instead prefers to hold her father's last name.
48:56: Think about it. She won't take this man's last name and instead she wants to hang on to this man's last name.
49:03: All women, all women bear a man's last name. They bear a man's last name.
49:10: When they wed, they exchange the last name of their birth to the new last name of the covenant.
49:19: Now, how? How is the covenant established? And what are some of the implications of it for marriage?
49:29: We noted a number of times in our discussion of the roles of wives that a man is not in authority over all women generally, but one woman specifically.
49:43: Not all women generally, but one woman specifically. And this relationship of authority and submission is entered into through the covenant of marriage.
49:54: Entered into through the covenant of marriage. The covenant is established by the exchanging of vows.
50:03: In our culture, the covenant is established by the exchange of vows.
50:12: And the exchanging of those vows bind the man and the woman together theologically, legally, and socially.
50:20: We exchange vows. Now, I've had the privilege of conducting dozens of wedding ceremonies through the years.
50:35: And I am, I think, reasonably flexible in how the wedding ceremony will be organized.
50:43: Except for one thing. I have one non -negotiable. And my non -negotiable is that I am insistent on a thorough and biblically accurate set of vows.
50:57: That's my one requirement. A theologically and biblically accurate set of vows.
51:07: Without that, I'm not interested in doing anybody's wedding. Beyond that, it has been my experience that young people generally have not thought very deeply about what is involved in marriage.
51:20: And are thus unqualified to craft their own vows. Again, this is sort of the nonsense of the permissive parenting generation.
51:31: No, just craft your own vows. You'll make some sappy promises to one another. This is nonsense.
51:38: This is nonsense. There is a covenant being created here. And it has to be a good one.
51:49: So, public service announcement. If you want me to do your wedding, it's my vows or the highway.
51:57: Just the way it is. The way it is. Beyond that, I think it's noteworthy, by the way, that the groom vows first.
52:06: The groom vows first. And the bride responds. In other words, he initiates and she responds.
52:16: News alert, right? That's how marriage works. Or is supposed to. So, he vows to her his commitment.
52:25: And she then responds with hers back to him. Now, implications in the time we have.
52:37: Some implications of marriage as a covenant. I would say that these are kind of wisdom principles.
52:46: I'm not ready to shatter a pulpit over them. But I think I have the
52:52: Spirit of the Lord. And so, I'd say these are wisdom principles. So, let me give you a few to think about.
53:01: Not every couple belongs together. Not every couple belongs together because not just any man can effectively be any woman's head.
53:18: Not just any man can be just any woman's head. Gentlemen, some women are clearly are better.
53:29: Some women are clearly are better. They are are better intellectually.
53:38: They are are better intellectually. Just like athleticism and beauty,
53:45: God does not distribute intelligence in an egalitarian fashion.
53:53: In other words, there are some women that are really, really intelligent. And there are some men that are not.
54:02: And there are some men that are not. And they really probably don't belong together.
54:11: If one loves to read Shakespeare and the other has never read anything longer than the box score of the ball game, it may not be wise to marry.
54:27: It may not be wise to marry. Not just any man can lead any woman spiritually.
54:39: Not just any man can lead any woman spiritually. A woman who has invested her single years in a passionate pursuit of Christ needs a man who is equally committed and competent to lead her spiritually.
55:02: Not just any man and any woman are well -suited. Here's one for you.
55:10: How about socially? Socially. Men, if your mother never taught you which fork to use and where the water glass goes on the table and you don't care to learn, you do not know, and you don't care to learn, then it's probably not a good idea to marry a socialite.
55:41: It's probably not a good idea. It's going to make the family gatherings really, really awkward when you drink out of the water glass of the guy next to you and it's your future father -in -law.
55:56: There is a proper place for these things. Not everybody knows it. Not everybody cares. But if someone does and you don't, probably not a good match.
56:10: Competently. Some women are men's superior in terms of competence.
56:20: Men, it's hard to lead a wife who not only thinks she's always right, but actually is.
56:29: But actually is. It makes it difficult. It makes it difficult.
56:38: So, not every woman and every man, wisdom says, belong together.
56:49: Ladies. Another implication of all this covenantal talk. Ladies, don't play dumb just to attract a man.
56:58: Don't play dumb just to attract a man. And men, don't overestimate your abilities and seek to date above your station in life.
57:09: Don't listen. You are not Don Juan. Do not overestimate what you're bringing to the table and seek above your station in life.
57:22: I know, that sounds so primitive, backwards, and non -egalitarian.
57:29: Yep, that's right. It is. Listen, when you make a covenant, you've got to make the best of it.
57:38: When you exchange vows and make a covenant, you must make the best of it because you are married. And he now is your head, ladies.
57:45: And men, you are her head. You are her leader. You do have authority in the relationship. You may have made it more difficult for yourself because of various selection criteria that you didn't know about or didn't care about.
58:01: But the reality exists. You are married. He is your head. Ladies, you must submit to his leadership.
58:08: And praise the Lord, right? The grace of the gospel is available to all of us because no one is mature when they get married.
58:15: It's amazing. We enter into the most serious decision of life next to repenting and believing on the
58:22: Lord Jesus Christ and we enter in typically in the least prepared way. I mean, most men get married with the advice of Samson.
58:33: She looks good. Get her for me. It's about the depth of the thought.
58:41: And yet, and yet, the grace of God can prevail.
58:46: It does prevail. We are growing in the likeness of Christ. Someone once said, if you want to be like Jesus, don't get married.
58:55: If you really want to be like Jesus, get married. If you really want to be like Jesus, get married.
59:02: It will refine you. It will refine you. Christ -honoring marriages can be built in the power of the gospel through the indwelling presence of the
59:20: Spirit of God in any situation, in any situation, if we will but lean into it.
59:31: Third implication here of marriage as a covenant is that all marriage problems are, in my opinion, ultimately the husband's responsibility.
59:45: That all marital problems are ultimately the husband's responsibility.
59:53: Let me develop this for you. Because of the covenantal union, there is no longer a he and a she.
01:00:02: There's no longer he and she. As one writer said, living as permanent roommates with certain sexual privileges included.
01:00:14: There is only a we. There's no he and she anymore. It's we. We are, in the words of Genesis 2 and verse 31, which would be a problem because there's not 31 verses in chapter 2.
01:00:33: So it's verse 24. 2 .31,
01:00:39: huh? That's what you call a typo. In 2 .24 it is called one flesh, right?
01:00:46: For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.
01:00:52: That is the covenant relationship. It is no longer he and she. It is us.
01:00:57: One flesh. It is we. It is we. We contradict that covenantal relationship of marriage when we assume an adversarial stance.
01:01:10: You have your problems, I have mine. You've got your problems, I've got my problems.
01:01:16: No. We have problems. We have problems.
01:01:25: You don't go to a marriage counselor to split the difference. To split the difference.
01:01:30: You don't go to a marriage counselor in order to arbitrate and to find your rights.
01:01:43: Now, this idea that a marriage problem is ultimately the husband's responsibility does not negate, does not negate the reality that each of them are accountable to God for their own sin.
01:02:00: Each are accountable to God for their own sin. But rather what
01:02:07: I am saying is that the state of the marriage is the man's responsibility. He is the leader.
01:02:13: He is the head. The state of his marriage is his, ultimately, his responsibility.
01:02:22: Ultimately his responsibility. And as he emulates
01:02:29: Christ, he emulates he who is head of the church by covenant. Ephesians 5, 23, again,
01:02:38: For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the
01:02:44: Savior of the body. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her.
01:02:52: Chapter 5, verse 25. When we get married, men, we undertake a great covenantal responsibility called marriage.
01:03:07: We undertake a great covenantal responsibility called marriage. And thus we are responsible for the state of that marriage.
01:03:23: Because Carol and I believe this so passionately, whenever we are approached for marital counseling, our focus is always, first and foremost, to try to work with the husband to understand, to accept and begin to employ rightfully his responsibility within his marriage and his home.
01:03:47: We're not trying to arbitrate who did what to whom. We are seeking to point the husband to Christ.
01:03:54: And as he pursues Christ, his wife who has called alongside him and is naturally inclined to follow his leadership, she will follow him into Christ.
01:04:10: Now, there is very, very encouraging news. Let me just kind of end with this. There is very, very encouraging news in all of this.
01:04:17: God honors those who honor his word. That's the encouragement. God honors those who honor his word.
01:04:26: And as a man, as a husband, when we honor the word of God by working hard at our marriage,
01:04:34: God will honor that. And it will be remarkable the transformation that will occur.
01:04:42: As we begin to love as Christ loves and begin to serve as Christ serves and begin to wash our brides with the word.
01:04:59: I'm always reminded of the words of Joshua in 24, 15, where he says, as for me and my house, we shall serve the
01:05:09: Lord. We shall serve the Lord. Let's pray. Our Father, the covenantal responsibilities of marriage are very, very weighty.
01:05:29: And we live in a day and an age where it is rejected.
01:05:37: It has been rejected by the unbelieving world forever. But it is even now so often rejected within the professing church.
01:05:51: We have drunk so deeply of our culture. We are so committed to individualism and to self -actualization, which are just fancy words for sin and self -gratification.
01:06:13: Oh, Lord, have mercy on us, your people. Help us to think seriously about what marriage really is.
01:06:26: And in particular, for us as husbands, to not only think seriously, but make whatever changes we need to make to begin to bring our leadership in line with the scriptures.
01:06:43: We're given the role model of Christ. Time spent in the
01:06:49: Gospels reading and meditating on Christ would serve us well. What does it mean to serve and lead?
01:07:00: What does it mean to die to self and live for another? What does it mean to be out front in leadership of our wife and our children?
01:07:15: Father, the answers are here. You've made them available to us. And as a body of believing people, we exist in fellowship with one another to encourage one another in these pursuits.
01:07:29: No one has it wired. No one is immune to struggle in these things.
01:07:35: Whether it be newlywed or those married for half a century, we are all sinners struggling to walk by grace in faith.
01:07:51: Our Father, may you this week do your good work through your indwelling
01:07:57: Spirit. We pray for Jesus' sake, amen. Blessings on you.
01:08:05: I kept you a minute long. Sorry about that.