If Christmas Vacation Characters Were Churches

Uh...

Hallowed be thy name. And forgive my husband, he knows not what he does.

Damien!

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Non-nutrative cereal varnish. It's semi-permeable. It's not osmotic. What it does is it coats and seals the flake, prevents the milk from penetrating it.

Yeah, it's a beautiful product. I like it, yeah.

Well, I don't know what to say, except it's... Christmas and we're all in misery.

Ellen, are you smoking again? No!

And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?

I don't know, Margot.

All our holidays were always such a mess. Oh, yeah. How did you get through it?

I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels. Well, you see, the plate runs right underneath my part here. And these over here, it's, you know, nothing. But here, if this gets dented, then my hair just ain't gonna look right.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands.

I had two containers of K-Rations. I just had two containers of K-Rations. And then I had spams. I had spectrums coming out of my ears.

Hey, Dad, where do you want these reindeer?

Let's put them down there in the lawn, Russ.

Write up a brief summary and have it to me by the end of the day.

My pleasure.

Layman's terms. None of that inside jargon that nobody understands.

Yes, sir.

Hope my report helped out at the trade show.

I'm sure it did, Griswold. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of an important call. Get me somebody. Anybody.

And I don't want to look them straight in the eye, and I don't want to tell them what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed... Just can't believe you're actually standing here in my living room, Eddie.

Never thought the day would come.

Yeah, I'm excited about it, too.

What happened to you?

You know, they took a pint of fluid out of my lower back. Beautiful, Clark.

You worked really hard, Grandma.

So do washing machines. I have to eat so I can take my back pills. You're goofy. It is an ugly tree anyway.

They didn't move into a new house. The blessing! Who couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant? Hey, Gris! You're not doing anything constructive. Run into the living room, get my stove.

So what's the matter with you? That ain't the Christmas star, Gris. It's a lighter in the sewage treatment plant.

Don't drop that!

Christmas Vacation Quotes as Comic Banter

Hey, guys, it's Keith. I hope you enjoyed that video. And also, I wanted to say thank you for supporting the channel this year, and I'm looking forward to even more laughs in 2024. I also wanted to take a minute, and while wishing you a Merry Christmas, also remind you that while we enjoy the festivities of the season, the real reason we celebrate is that God sent his Son to live a perfect life and die a substitutionary death for everyone who believes.

The Bible says that we're all sinners. We've all broken God's law, and we all need forgiveness. And that forgiveness is available if you trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. So if you've never done that, I encourage you, repent of your sins and trust in Christ, and you'll find him to be a perfect Savior.