Song of Solomon

The Song of Solomon as a Celebration of Love, Not a Sex Manual

Song of Solomon chapter 2 verse 1. Hear the word of the Lord. I am a rose of Sharon a lily of the valleys as a lily among brambles. So as my love among the young women as an apple tree among the trees of the forest.

So as my beloved among the young men with great delight I sat in his shadow and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting house and his banner over me was love. Sustain me with raisins refresh me with apples for I am sick with love.

His left hand is under my head and his right hand embraces me. I Adore you Oh daughters of Jerusalem by the gazelles or the does of the field that you not stir up or awaken love. Until it pleases. May the Lord had his blessings to the reading of his Holy Word.

As I said before one of the things I found strangest in Asian culture when I lived in Singapore was was The attitude towards sex really toward the body. And all things like that on the one hand in Singapore, at least they would they would seem very strict.

You know strict divorce laws and they were strict against pornography and the like. So you think that they were repressed that would be the conclusion. They were just repressive kind of you know people.

But the truth is they're really more earthy more realistic and it's Western culture our culture that has traditionally been more repressed. Historically the view from platonic culture. Is that matter, you know the body and so sex is bad at least Unspiritual and so something, you know, if you're spiritual you want to get away from from the body and all that so as they say in church the approach to sex has been first to hush and then to blush and then to bash and You see the influence of that are really what our unbiblical ideas on a Western culture when you go outside of it.

Especially like I did you live in Asian culture. I'm an Asian society for a while and you'll see there that people just don't assume that these topics are to be hushed up. While living in Singapore, I was tutoring some Korean seminary students in English.

Who are planning on coming to the USA to finish their studies now once the two young men students asked me a question What's what's the word for? What's the word for a woman with large breasts? Now Beside some slang.

There is a proper word buxom. But I knew enough about their culture by now that if I just taught them that word, you know Fuck some write it down learn to pronounce it, right? And they could very well come to America and meet some woman and soon tell her my you're very buxom.

And I did not want to be responsible for the slap that would ensue. So I said just don't mention it and they looked at each other very puzzled shrug the shoulder why it's natural. I said, yes, I know just don't mention it.

And they still couldn't understand that and that's been the attitude of much of polite society in the West including the church about all things having to do with The body with sex and so much so that I think it's really twisted the way that the Song of Solomon is interpreted.

For example Mary took a class in a Bible college in Singapore that dealt with the Song of Solomon and I asked her whether they Took on what they call an allegorical approach that is they interpret all this talk you find in Song of Solomon about the body and kissing and embracing and all that as symbolic of other truths spiritual truths because it can't possibly the assumption is it can't possibly be talking about Literal physical love and things like that because after all we all know that's that's carnal.

So I can't really be talking about that and she said no, you know, was that the approach they took on Singapore? No, he said people there wouldn't see any need for a allegorical interpretation. But in Western society for centuries the Song of Solomon has been interpreted Allegorically that is it couldn't possibly mean people assumed what it literally would appear to mean.

So for example, the Rose of Sharon a lily among the valleys. We saw in chapter 2 verse 1 was Christ himself. Whom we are to desire and it all sounds so devout and so pious now who wants to argue with that?

No one wants to say no, you shouldn't love Jesus. Now, obviously we don't say that. The problem though with that interpretation is That's not the meaning the original author intended, you know, whoever wrote it originally when they wrote it.

What did they mean to communicate? And that's really a major interpretive key. You know dealing with any passage of the Bible. What did the original author mean? Second reading it like that symbolically allegorically is is totally arbitrary.

You know the Christians say it's Jesus's love for the church. Jews say it's Yahweh's love for Israel. Others say it's God's love for them individually. And each little thing mentioned, you know, the body parts and so forth.

They say are symbolic for this or for that but but who's to say? It's based on nothing other than the feelings of some sentimental Interpreter and so that approach to interpreting it has become less and less popular over about the last century until today.

Some have swung really what I think is to the opposite extreme. So far as to interpret the Song of Solomon as basically now being a sex manual. So for example, if you look just one verse up love what we read our couch is green.

The beams of our house are cedar our rafters are pine. I read one commentator that seriously interpreted that to be this is instructions on how you should decorate your bedroom. Okay. You know when a good love life decorate like this.

With a green couch, I guess and cedar and pine, you know, whatever by the way. You know, they're in a forest and you get it really their couch is green because they're sitting on grass. The house quote house cedar and pine because they're looking up at cedar and pine trees.

Okay. Now the problem with that kind of sex manual approach is threefold. There's two three problems with that first who writes an instruction manual in poetry. I mean, come on I mean. Wouldn't you be irritated if you got an instruction manual about something like how to how to assemble a bicycle you opened up the instructions.

And it's written in poetry with rhymes and symbolic language, you know symbols you couldn't figure out what they stood for. That would just I want it's clear direct instructions. Second. It has the same problem as the allegorical interpretation.

It's totally arbitrary. You know some creative person thinks this phrase like his right hand embraces me in verse 6. Refers to a specific sex act which they will then say the Bible says do. Really? I I don't see that there.

No.

It's interesting that when someone says they see it there. It's interesting about what it says about them. But I don't see the Bible saying that. And third the fact is the Song of Solomon is not all about Sex it's really much bigger than that.

It's about the relationship in which sex is found. It's about what CS Lewis called in his wonderful book the four loves. Eros what some people today only think of. You know, when the world says love this is basically what they mean love.

But there are other kinds. And what we might call Romantic love the Song of Solomon is about that Eros Romance what I'll call what I'll call love for most of the rest of this sermon. Now we'll only get a sampling of the Song of Solomon today.

After all it's not a manual it needs to be read step-by-step. It's not for instruction. I don't think but for celebration. The way I I recommend that you marry people read it is to read it together in parts.

The wife taking the woman's part marked by she and the SV and the man taking the man's part marked by he. By the way, the woman has twice as many words in Song of Solomon of the man does so. What do you make a joke out of that?

There's a good one there I'm sure and there's also a chorus and you got to work out who takes care of that now for now we have we can. See several facets of love what the world calls love. I've listed at least 14 of them.

You can probably find more but 14 will do for today and it won't take too long. It won't be too painful. First love is affirming that is it makes you feel affirmed and wanted appreciated loved. Notice in verse chapter 2 verse 1.

She says about herself. I Am a rose of Sharon a lily of the valleys. Other words that's how this relationship makes her feel about herself and We see why in verse 2 next verse as a lily among the brambles.

This is the man speaking to her now as a lily among the brambles. So as my love among the young women. No wonder she feels like a flower. She's telling she's telling her she is she feels affirmed because he is affirming her.

She feels valued because he is valuing her now if instead of that a woman. It's usually a woman just like this one is made to feel. I'm fat. I'm stupid. I can't do anything, right? I'm just lucky he will put up with me.

That's a sign of a bad relationship. That's not love because love is affirming. Second love is adoring. Notice he is adoring her. You're like a flower a lily compared to the other rest of the women who are at least to me like thorns you're you're the rose in this rosebush and She responds in verse 3 is an apple among the trees of the forest.

So is my beloved among the young men in a very similar way different images. But sort of the same meaning most of the trees in the forest, you know aren't much good, right? You're in the forest can't get much out of most trees.

They shed leaves or pine needles, you know. What do you do with it, but if you came across you in a forest there's an apple tree there, ah, that's good. There's fruit you can eat it. You can something you need and that's what she's saying about him.

You're you're you have what I want. You have something I need. Much of the rest of this book is an exchange of adoring words Between each other because that's what love does it adores. Now, of course some might say well, you know, that's that's fine for them, but it's not my nature, you know, I'm not so expressive.

Maybe they're the kind of person if their kid brings home a report card has five A's and one a-minus. They'll immediately say what's wrong with the a-minus you've been goofing off too much. What's going on?

Let's say you know say I'm not so adoring. You have to understand me. Well, that's what love does here. So I guess in this one area if that's you We'll have to give you an a-minus. Oh That's cruel. That's just cruel.

That was a low blow.

Third love is refreshing.

It delights in the person loved in the second half of verse 3 with great delight. I sat in his shadow and his fruit to me was sweet. To my say this is continuing the thought that he's like an apple. Tree fruit is what comes from his life.

The effect of the love on the one being loved love is refreshing. It's like eating fruit. It is in verse 4 like drinking wine. He brought me to the the bank wedding house is literally a house of wine.

It also had probably had something to do with a wedding reception. The Bank wedding house a house of wine and the analogy is is changed. In the very next verse, but this the meaning or at least the feeling is the same.

It's mostly a book about feelings. The feeling is the same his banner over me was love. The banner is like a flag that may a king would have but it's breakfast. Expressed his authority is protective care.

Here's the man. It's like a king. He's he's expressing his protective care over me. She feels the security of his love. There's no sense of danger or fear, you know, he's suddenly gonna turn abusive any moment now, you know, I burned the dinner.

He's gonna get. It's gonna get nasty instead. She's refreshed and wants to stay there with him. Fourth love is physical in verse 6. His left hand is under my head and his right hand embraces me. That's not symbolic for anything.

That means his left hand is under his head. It's his right hand embraces her. Love wants to touch it revels in an embrace. That's why younger unmarried couples need to be warned against touching too much because it's natural that they want to touch but you know.

There's you got to watch yourself. Sometimes advised to hurry up. You want to touch so much hurry up and get married so you can touch all you want. Okay, don't have a don't have a year and a half engagement.

That's crazy. Go hurry get married now so you can touch. Sometimes older couples need to be reminded to touch. Don't keep your hands to yourself so much. Thank you George. You got the point. Fifth what seems a bolt out of the blue?

All right come to verse 7 seems almost like totally out of place because we're humming along with all this adoration and this touchy-feely stuff and Then comes and all this exaltation really of what is Eros and then verse 7 I Adore you of daughters of Jerusalem by the gazelles or the does of the field that you not stir up or awaken love until it.

Pleases.

You know right in the midst of the celebration of love is a warning to the single people who may be reading or hearing this. And are beginning to oh, what's some of that? What's some of that action? They want someone to love and to love them back.

Seems so inviting so attractive. Won't someone please fulfill these desires for me, but then comes. Wake up get out of it. Go take a cold shower. This is it verse 7 is a cold shower. Don't awaken those desires.

I Adore you in other words. I make you swear. It's important enough to make you take an oath. I can't just leave it up to advising you. Suggesting it to you, you know leaving a hint. Maybe it'd be better off if you cool it now.

I have to make you pledge that you will not arouse. Love your needs to love and have someone love you until the time is right when you're old enough mature enough. You're in the right situation in life and there is the right person there to love.

Don't feed those feelings until everything is in place. Don't constantly feed your mind, you know with romance novels and love stories and love songs and daydreams. Oh, he's so dreamy and plans of the great relationship.

If you're single don't be reading bridal magazines and planning your wedding. Or whatever the Internet equivalent would be of that today. That's stirring up and awakening love without anyone to love it will probably make you desperate and then vulnerable.

To the first person who comes along who just looks like he or she can play that role. Christian single people should fill their time with serving the Lord and if your mind is going off into lust or into longing for romance.

Fill it instead with God's Word use that that is a trigger as soon as those thoughts start. Thoughts start to come to memorize scripture you know, whatever pick your scripture stir up love for the Lord and Downplay love of eros.

Because love is reserved. Well next we'll find four more facets of love in chapter 3 verses 1 to 5. So let me read that for you. Chapter 3 starting verse 1 on my bed by night. I sought him who my soul loves.

I sought him but found him not. I Will rise now and go about the city in the streets and in the squares. I will seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him but found him not. The watchman found me as they went about in the city.

Have you seen him whom my soul loves? Scarcely had I passed them when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother's house and into the chamber of the one Who conceived me.

I adjure you? Oh daughters of Jerusalem by the gazelles or the does of the field that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.

Six.

I'm gonna run out of fingers pretty soon, but love is longing. Chapter 3 verse 1. She longs for him whom my soul loves. Notice that when when she doesn't find him at home. She goes out looking for him.

There's no, you know, I could take it or leave it. Whatever. He's gone here. Oh, who cares? There's not that an attitude with love. One of the things that bothered me when Mary and I were first started dating was that we I thought we didn't have enough time together.

We only had like six weeks before. The school year ended and I went back to Alabama for the summer and she was graduating and leaving for good. We're so different from different cultures and countries.

I had her visit me in Alabama, but cerebrally. Kind of coldly calculating. I came to the decision that we didn't have enough time together. And so just simply say goodbye after this, but it was a breakup that never really took.

Because I longed for her.

My longing.

Overcame my thinking thank God. Seventh love is specific. Notice how many times the phrase whom my soul loves is used in those five verses. Four times each and once in each of the first four verses. I almost sound a little repetitive.

Done it. Who my soul loves. She's not looking for just any man, you know, she's not like man. I need a man. Where can I find one? Oh these watchmen will do. No, she's looking for one specific one. The one her soul her life loves.

C .s. Lewis wrote. Eros makes a man really want not a woman but one particular woman.

Eighth.

Love is a family affair. In chapter 3 verse 4 she wants to bring her man home to mother. She wants to show him off to mama. You know notice that bring her to my mother's house. Contrary to so much romantic fiction all the way back to Romeo and Juliet.

You know, it's two lovers will just ignore or even destroy their families connections. It's you know, just to be with that one. They think they love ideally. Love wants to include the family if at all possible.

As Mark Driscoll noted in a video we watch only a bad guy wants to stick a woman out of a good social network. Isolate her from family friends at church. That's the sign of a bad guy. Real love will want to keep you as close as possible to good families.

Are in churches for that matter? 9th love is dangerous in Verse 5 is the same warning in chapter 2 verse 7. You know, did you think I was repeating myself? You're reading. No, it's there again word for word.

That means that the warning is serious enough to need repeating. Okay, something's repeated. It's probably repeated because we need to hear it again. Love or what looks and feels like it is dangerous.

That's why I commonly warn you about the intoxicating power of love of making an idol of that one dream relationship. Because it it's it's dangerous. Now so someone could conclude of hearing that well, then, you know Eros is a demon.

Romantic love is bad. So if you can't control yourself sexually. Well, then make a cold calculated decision to marry one person and do what you got to do. But don't get drawn into the trap of Eros, but that's not what at all.

That's not at all what I mean. What that's not that's not what I mean at all when I'm worn against the dangers of the relationship of Eros. I you know, I also warn against the dangers of the idolatry of money.

But I don't suggest that you should. I'm opposed to all money and you should get rid of it all. Although if you're going to do that, give it to me. I'll take care of it. But you know, I don't suggest that you just divest yourself of all money and go run off and live in a monastery somewhere.

The monastery has got to have money to pay his bills, too. And even by the way I know I warn against the dangers of Eros for the same reason that we warn against the dangers of electricity. You know, we put up signs warning of hazards of electricity.

There's especially there's a bare wire or something like that so much so that if you know. If someone didn't know any better and all they hear heard was our warnings against, you know, you could get shocked be careful.

Dangers of electricity they might come to the conclusion. We hate electricity. And that's why we're trying to discourage everyone from using it. No, of course not. We love electricity. It makes so many luxuries possible makes these lights.

It's an amplification. So we have it close by. It's only bad if handled in the wrong way. It can shock you can even kill you just so we warn about the we warn about Eros. It For the same reason it makes many pleasures and joys possible.

So we want it close. But it is dangerous very dangerous. If you don't have a safe way of handling it and you turn your desire for love, you know I want to turn it all the way to max power. You'll probably get shocked.

Likely you will make yourself desperate. Which will ironically make it harder for you to find someone to love, you know in my opinion I'm no expert of what women want. So I'm the shouldn't write a book on it.

Women usually find it totally off-putting to see a man who is just consumed by desperation. And just kind of air about it. He's just so discontent with himself. He's looking for anyone. It'll take him, please.

Men often also dislike maybe you find that scary, you know when it's a woman whoa back up or. Some men will use that Desperation if a woman has it to take advantage of the woman. Suggesting to her usually unspoken suggesting unspoken, but you know, I'll give you the love you want if you give me the sex I want.

Of course, it's a bad deal because he'll want the sex now and later when she wants to love he'll be gone. Probably taking advantage of the next desperate girl. Having a fully awakened longing for love in a single person is Dangerous that's why here again in chapter 3 verse 5 single people are warned unless you are ready to handle it including especially someone in your life that you as a Christian can love a Christian like yourself who will help you love the Lord most of all unless you are ready for it.

Don't feed those desires for it. Love is dangerous. Well two more facets of love. Founded chapter 4 verse 8 to chapter 5 verse 1. Okay, chapter 4 verse 8 you turn there. Starts kind of in the middle of this Discourse chapter 4 verse 8.

Come with me from Lebanon my bride. Come with me from Lebanon. Depart from the peak of Amana. From the peak of sinner and Herman from the dens of lions from the mountains of leopards. You have captivated my heart my sister my bride.

You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes with one jewel of your necklace. How beautiful is your love my sister my bride? You how much better is your love than wine and the fragrance of your oils than any spice?

Your lips drip nectar my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. A Garment locked is my a garden locked is my sister. My bride a spring locked a fountain sealed.

Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates with all its choices fruits henna with Nard's Nard and saffron Calamus and cinnamon with all trees and frankincense myrrh and aloes with all choice spices. A garden fountain a well of living water and flowing streams from Lebanon a Way go north wind and come.

Oh south wind blow upon my garden. Let it spices flow. Let my beloved come to his garden and eat his choices fruits. I Came to my garden my sister my bride. I gathered my myrrh. With my spice. I ate my honeycomb and my honey.

I drank my wine and my milk. Eat friends drink and be drunk with love.

Marital Love and Sexuality

Well 10th.

Love is marital. Notice the term my bride. Her six times from chapter 4 verse 8 to chapter 5 verse 1. My bride, so they're married. They may be newlyweds but they're married and that makes the Song of Solomon different from so much Hollywood romance and in this than the like in which the Action usually occurs outside of marriage here.

This love has brought them into Marriage into a commitment that they dream will last until death. Do them part. C .s. Lewis wrote to be in love is to both intend and to promise lifelong fidelity. Now someone who doesn't have that first intent that it lasts and is then second.

Unwilling to make a promise a real promise, you know with witnesses. With a ring to prove it in a marriage certificate so that even the government is called in to testify to it. Someone who doesn't have that, you know, it just says yeah sure.

I love you, baby. But why fuss about rings and ceremonies and paperwork? Someone who thinks like that Probably has no love. That's why I think so tragic today and all this cohabitation living together despite all the talk all the passion.

It's often so completely.

Loveless.

Because love is marital.

11th.

Love is sexual. I should say that right. Sexual. Starting in verse 11 leading up chapter 5 verse 1, you know things are starting to get pretty hot there. Yeah, I might should have rated this sermon pg -13.

I don't know. Maybe the kids should have been sent off to see a cartoon, but I don't think they knew what was going on. There's a building sensuality here, you know the lips and the honey and the milk.

The bride is a garden locked in verse 12. That is she is or at least was a virgin until now that she's married that chastity is celebrated. She was a spring locked a fountain sealed. In other words. No man got to enjoy the pleasures she offered until now that she's married and now she is now.

He is enjoying those pleasures in verses 11 to 16. So all there's this pleasing aromas this list of.

Refreshing.

You know.

Sensual.

Lovely things refreshment like from a spring of fresh water. Then at the end of chapter 4 in chapter 5 verse 1. Hey. And here's the great irony about the debate on how to interpret the Song of Solomon.

Some say it has to be allegorical that symbolic language that's no symbolic language used to describe other truths. They say that because they assume no truly inspired spiritual book would be about sex but it's not usually allegorical because that's not how the original author intended it, but.

For example, when he when he writes in chapter 4 verse 1 and on we didn't read that part. But you know this coat poetic comparison some of the things that Song of Solomon is best known for. Seems strange to us almost kind of funny.

Sometimes you know her your eyes are like doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats. We don't usually think of that. Your teeth are like shorn use. On and on like that. Yeah, he means literally to praise her beauty her looks.

He's using analogies. But it's not allegorical and the original author never would have understood our hang-up that it can't be Inspired in physical even sexual at the same time, but in kind of a funny irony just here in chapter 4 verse 16 in chapter 5 verse 1.

Yeah, it's allegorical there. The language is symbolic. Because. That's not about gardening. There's no gardening going on there. You know, if you think that's going she's saying let's go out and pull some weeds.

No, that's not what's going on here. Love is sexual. People do sometimes need to be told this. I know of young women getting married at 18 who were totally shocked at their wedding night included sex.

No one told them instead there was this attitude like what I told those Koreans seminary students, you know, just don't talk about it. Sometimes married couples suffer for years with some kind of sexual dysfunction because they won't talk about it.

Sometimes serious marital problems even affairs and divorce. Happened because one partner decides the marriage isn't going to be sexual anymore and the other doesn't know how to talk about it. Now our culture hasn't always been so hung up and afraid to talk about it.

In my doctoral research I found a Puritan Church in which a wife took before the whole congregation the problem of a husband who was not having sex enough for her and. When you can figure that out. You know take a while to think about that and when you figure that out.

You've learned a lot about the biblical view of the body and sex and marriage and the church. Well three more facets about love in chapter 8 verses 1 to 10 told you we're skipping around Chapter 8 verses 1 to 10.

This is the last section that we'll be looking at anyway. Separate verse 1. Oh that you were like a brother to me. Who nursed at my mother's breast. If I found you outside I would kiss you and none would despise me.

I would leave you and bring you into the house of my mother. She who used to teach me. I would give you spiced wine to drink and juice of my pomegranates. His left hand is under my head his and his right hand embraces me.

I adjure you. Oh daughters of Jerusalem. That you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Who is that coming up from the wilderness? Leaning on her beloved. Under the apple tree. I awakened you there.

Your mother was in labor with you there. She who bore you was in labor. Set me as an seal upon your heart. As a seal upon your arm. For love is as strong as death. Jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire the very flame of the Lord.

Many waters cannot quench love. Neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house He would be utterly despised. We have a little sister and she has no breast. What should we do for our sister on the day when she has spoken for if she is a wall?

We will build on her battlement a battlement of silver. If she is a door we will enclose her with boards of cedar. I Was a wall and my breasts were like towers. Then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace.

Love Is Expressive, Private, Waiting, and Public

Well 12.

Love is expressive but private. In verse 1. Oh that you were like a brother to me. That seemed like a strange desire to have isn't it? But she explains why if I found you outside I would kiss you and none would despise me.