Marriage: Why Is It Worth Defending? (Part 2)

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Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

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No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ, based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the

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Apostle Paul said, But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.

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In short, if you like smooth, watered -down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn't for you.

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By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes, as we're called by the divine trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her

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King. Here's our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth. I don't know what your definition of marriage is.

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Things have changed over the years. The American Dictionary of English Language in 1828 said this for the definition of marriage.

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The act of uniting a man and woman for life, wedlock.

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Marriage was instituted by God Himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and education of children.

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More recently, in Merriam -Webster, they define marriage as, quote, the mutual relation of husband and wife, wedlock, the institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family.

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Even more theologically neutered, the Cambridge Dictionary describes marriage this way, a legally accepted relationship between a woman and a man in which they live as husband and wife.

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Encarta Online Dictionary said, a legal relationship between spouses, a legally recognized relationship established by a civil or religious ceremony between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners.

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And what we've noticed over the years is if you don't like something, one of the best things you could do is just add on adjectives to accommodate the sin of marriage.

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For instance, you have marriage, but then you add on a word in the front, civil marriage.

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It's a marriage performed by a magistrate. Or common law marriage, you just live together and we call it marriage.

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You can add other words to marriage and turn them into something, shotgun marriage, right? Where someone is forced to get married for obvious reasons.

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An open marriage, where partners just say, you know what, we'll have sexual relationships with anybody we want.

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And of course, now even we have the word in front of marriage, gay marriage or homosexual marriage.

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My sermon this morning is essentially this. When you think of the Lord Jesus and his work for us as a substitute,

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I just want you to think of marriage. And when you think of marriage, I want you to think about the

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Lord Jesus Christ. I'd like you to take your Bibles and turn to Ephesians chapter 5 today. Hopefully, next

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Sunday we'll be in the book of 2 Peter, so please begin to read 2 Peter. It is one of those books where you just think, oh, so refreshing, so convicting, so Christ -centered.

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I want to talk today about the relationship that Jesus has with his church.

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So that will hold you like an anchor, kind of more you to the truth, so that when people redefine marriage, you don't buy what they're selling.

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Melinda Selma said, a man may lie to himself very prettily, but he cannot really escape from the knowledge that it is a lie.

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Aristotle said, men start revolutionary changes for reasons connected with their private lives.

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Marriage is defined in many ways. Maybe you're even asking yourself the question, why would there even be marriage?

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There are a few in Scripture to magnify the Lord and glorify him. For procreation, for enjoyment, including sexual and emotional and physical, spiritual.

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Companionship, God gives a helper to Adam, to raise up children for the

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Lord. Martin Luther said, people who do not like children. Remember, Luther is definitely, he's definitely

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New England. Okay, so you ready? People who do not like children are swine, dunces and blockheads, not worthy to be called men and women, because they despise the blessing of God, the creator and author of marriage.

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But what we saw last week, the most important part about marriage and what it's meant to do, or why marriage, it's to show us

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Christ's love for the church. It's a symbol. It tells us about an eternal arrangement between the

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Lord Jesus and his church, his bride, the elect ones. And so when you talk about holy matrimony, you have to talk about Jesus.

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And when you talk about Jesus, you're talking about holy matrimony. Some people leave

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Jesus out of their sermons, which isn't good. And some people leave Jesus out of their marriage definition, which isn't good either.

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So we come to Ephesians 5, you're familiar with the passage. This is all something that we're supposed to be very familiar with, because those people in Christ who've been saved from their sins, who are united with Christ, they're in union with Christ, they realize they have to live differently.

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The world might say live this way, but now that we're redeemed and we're saved and we're different, we walk as children of the light, not as darkness.

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So there's a difference. And how do we act? What do we do? We need to be thinking about marriage not as something that's just convenient or good or pleasurable or nice or a tax deduction, but it relates to...

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Did anybody just laugh at that? We just laugh for tax deduction. Who knows how long that will last?

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We need to be thinking about the doctrine of who Jesus is and how he loves people.

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And we saw that last week, did we not, for a quick review? Everything about this passage swirls around the word love, this agape self -sacrificial love.

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I want what's best for you. That's what love does. And how much does the Lord Jesus want our best? Well, straight to the cross he goes, does he not?

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He sets his mind like a flint to the cross. And it says in verse 25, with no moralism at all,

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Husbands, love your wives. And here's the ground, here's the model, here's the symbolism we were talking about last time.

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Love your wives. It's an act of your will, just as or as Christ loved the church and gave himself up.

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What a great picture of love this is. You say, which one, the husbands loving the wives or Jesus loving the church?

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Yes. They just go right together. And you see this love that Jesus has for the church.

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How much did Jesus love the church? That's the question. So much that he gives himself, you see the text we looked at last week, he gave himself up for her.

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He was delivered over for our transgressions, Romans 4. He was delivered up because the father did not spare him,

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Romans chapter 8. It's a love that doesn't say, you know what, you earn it. And of course, as I'm talking about Jesus, I'm trying to think as a husband, and you husbands ought to be thinking, when it comes to loving my wife, do

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I say, well, you know what, she hasn't earned my love today, she hasn't deserved my love today, she's been moody today, she hasn't appreciated me today, she hasn't done this today, she hasn't done that today, she hasn't done the other today, and so therefore

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I'm not going to be reciprocal in my love. Does that sound like Jesus' love? It doesn't sound like Jesus' love at all.

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Field Marshal Montgomery said to his young soldiers, gentlemen, don't even think about marriage until you've mastered the art of warfare.

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Dying to self. Loving based not on who they are, or what they bring to the table, or are they lovely, because of course we know before we were born again, we weren't lovely, we didn't deserve it, it was unmerited, it was demerited favor, we call that grace, do we not?

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Where Jesus loved us and sought us, and Jesus is the one who seeks out sinners.

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Jesus said, I'm the good shepherd, the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep, not because they were pretty sheep, nice sheep.

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You probably heard the old Saturday Evening Post article, the seven ages of a married cold.

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How a husband treats his wife's cold during the first seven years of marriage. Year one, sugar dumpling,

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I'm really worried about my baby girl, you've got a bad sniffle, there's no telling about these things going around with all this strep,

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I'm putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a checkup and a good rest. I know the food's lousy, but I'll be bringing in your meals from Rossini's, I've already got it all arranged with the floor superintendent.

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Second year, listen darling, I don't like the sound of that cough, I call Doc Miller and ask him to rush over here, now you go to bed like a good girl, please, just for papa.

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Year three, maybe you better lie down honey, nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy,

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I'll bring you something to eat, have you got any canned soup? Fourth year, you're not laughing as much now, just wait.

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Fourth year, now look dear, be sensible, after you've fed the kids, washed the dishes and finished the floor, you better lie down.

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Fifth year, why don't you take a couple of aspirin? Sixth year, I wish you'd just gargle or something, instead of sitting around all evening barking like a seal.

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I'm going to alter the seventh one, you'll know why. Seventh year, for Pete's sake, stop sneezing, are you trying to give me the

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COVID? That's the last time you're going to laugh in this sermon by the way,

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I hope you enjoyed it. And when Jesus comes and loves the bride, there's kind of an ultimate purpose to all this, and it's found in verses 26 and 27.

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And just think about wedding language, and the glory of the wedding dress, and the white purity, and the splendor, and how beautiful she looks, and a pure chaste bride for the husband.

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Why does Jesus do this? What's the purpose? That he might sanctify her, verse 26, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church, this is

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Jesus, to himself in splendor. That's the kind of bride he has. That's what he does with his work and love, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

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Shining, bright, pure, beautiful, dazzling, brilliant, is not just the wedding dress, but the bride herself.

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It reminds me of the church's one foundation hymn by Samuel Stone. From heaven he came and sought her to be his holy bride, with his own blood he bought her, and for her life, what?

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He died. He loved, and he gave, and he died. The most important thing about marriage is the doctrine of Christ loving the church.

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It's an eternal arrangement, is it not? Jesus said in John 17, I glorified you, Father, on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do.

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When did he give him the work? At the transfiguration? At Jesus' baptism? At Jesus' birth?

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The Father gives the Son this work to do in eternity past, and it's an eternal arrangement.

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Go rescue the bride. Go love the bride. Lay down your life for the bride. Jesus had to be born to go do that very thing.

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But he keeps going, and this is new for us. From last week we ended up in verse 27, ending there.

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Today we're going to pick up in verse 28, and you see how he just moves from husbands to the

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Lord, and of course we'll see from the bride of Christ to the wives.

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In the same way, he's got a different appeal here. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

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He who loves his wife loves himself. And it's fascinating now, there's some individual language here.

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It's not just general all you husbands, but you feel that kind of finger from Nathan, and I won't point at anybody right now, but just imagine the

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Lord is pointing to you because he's directing this to you husbands. He who loves his wife loves himself.

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They're fused into this entity, right? Into one in every area. Women aren't property.

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Wives aren't nice ornaments. Jesus said they're no longer two but one flesh.

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But therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. It is rare to find somebody that does kind of self -hurt things.

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And so what Paul is saying is, you know what? Since you're a husband and wife and you're together, when you love your wife, you're loving yourself.

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That's why John Calvin said, men who don't love their wives are monsters. This is an obligation.

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And it's not to anybody else's wife, dear husbands, it's your own wife. He who loves his own wife loves himself.

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Verse 29, why? Here's the explanation. For no one ever hated his own flesh. But what does he do instead?

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Nourishes. Cherishes. And then we make sure we understand that this is tied into Christ and the church, just as Christ does the church.

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Walter Chantry said, how soon marriage counseling sessions would end if husbands and wives were competing in thoughtful self -denial.

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If the woman were anxious to yield her God -given head to the God -given head in her home, and the man were ambitious to serve her, comfort her, and love her as being his own flesh, there'd be no room for contention or strife.

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What does Jesus do to the church? It says he nourishes. It's with affection.

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He cherishes warmth, tender concern. And so I could ask you, husbands,

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I asked myself this week, do I love my wife? Do I cherish my wife? Do I nourish my wife?

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Walter Trubisch said, this is what I love you means from a husband to a wife. Let me try to tell you what it really means.

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I love you. It means you, you, you. You alone. You shall reign in my heart.

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You are the one for whom I've longed. Without you, I'm incomplete. I will give everything for you.

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I will give up everything for you, myself as well as all that I possess. I will love you alone.

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I will work for you alone. I want to remain always at your side. Does that sound like a husband?

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Or does that sound like Jesus? And again, the answer is yes. Jesus nourishes and cherishes.

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Every husband here must nourish and cherish. Verse 31.

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Do you notice? Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother. You still have a relationship, but the new priority is obvious.

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And hold fast or cling to or be glued to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

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Right from Genesis 24, chapter 2, verse 24. United together.

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Bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh, Adam says. Verse 32. The mystery is profound.

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This particular mystery is profound. And I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. What's a mystery in the

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Bible? A mystery in the Bible is not something that has Twilight Zone music.

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Spooky, mysterious. A mystery is something that was true, but we didn't know about it until God said, let me tell you about it.

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So Jesus, in eternity past, of course, said to the father, you've given me this bride, this sullied bride, this unchaste bride, and you want me to go live for them and die for them and cleanse them and wash them and sanctify them and glorify them.

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And then on that great day, I will hand you back this bride that you gave me.

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And she will be pure and beautiful and holy because of what I've done. And this will be my gift back to you.

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That all happened way back then, but we didn't know about it until Paul writes. It was true, but we didn't know about it.

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That's why he calls it a mystery. This mystery, it's profound. And I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

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Marriage just isn't an illustration. It's an illustration of something that's an eternal reality.

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One writer said, the truth is so great a mystery was that the eternal son of God should form such a union with people that he should take them into a connection with himself.

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And when I look at this, I say to myself, my marriage preaches. I preach sermons with my mouth here on Sundays and I preach sermons the way

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I act toward my wife. And so I ask the husbands today, do you love your wives?

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Do you cherish them? And then he says in verse 33, kind of a summary.

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However, let each one of you love his wife as himself. And then of course, there's a response for the ladies as well who are married and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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He's addressing individual husbands. No husband is exempt. It's a present imperative love, love, love, love.

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And there's a response for the ladies. And that response is respect. Do you respect your husband?

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You see that there? The husband is to love. That's mimicking what

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Jesus does for the bride, love. And here we have a similar parallel and she respects her husband.

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I've heard from ladies and maybe some of you have said it. I don't respect my husband because he hasn't earned it.

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You would be in sin. Because the Bible says, respect your husband. And of course, this does not mean that he shouldn't try to earn it.

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I would like to earn my wife's respect. I'd like to live a life commensurate with my calling. But is the text not clear?

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Respect your husband. I'm going to treat him this way because God requires me to do that very thing.

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And instead of the opposite of respect with all kinds of cutting remarks and demeaning looks and accusations and looks at kill and withholding affection, condescending speech, my dad would never do that.

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The text says, respect your husband. And let the wife see to it that she respects her husband.

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What's my point? My point is simple. If you have the right view of marriage, you have the right view of Jesus and his bride.

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And if you have the right view of Jesus and his bride, you have the right view of marriage. So last week, we went through that section in Ephesians 5, and I asked a few questions.

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I'm going to quickly review those questions, and I have a few more questions based on this truth. And again, my purpose for today is simple.

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As people begin to change the definition of marriage over and over and over, you'll be fortified by saying, you know what, you can say whatever you want, but God's definition of marriage is simple, and I have to think about Jesus and his church.

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I asked three questions last week. The first question was, where are the no men and no women? That is, when it comes to defending the bride of Christ, marriage, where are people that will just say,

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I'm not going to accept anything less than biblical? Question two from last week was, have you bought the lie that's very popular in our circles?

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Just be known for what you're for. Well, if we're for biblical marriage, we're against unbiblical marriage.

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When you're for positive things, you're against negative things. Question three we looked at, can you be a lover and a fighter?

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Can you be both? We need to contend for the faith, but we need to speak the truth in love, obviously.

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And now here's my fourth question. Question four, which is new information for us today. Do you honor marriage?

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We've been thinking about, you know what, let's have the right definition. Now let's think about, do we honor this proper definition?

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If you take your Bibles and turn to Hebrews chapter 13, I don't know if you know much about Hebrews, so let me give you about a 15 -minute background.

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Chapter 8, verse 1, the point in what I'm saying is this, we have such a high priest.

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That's the book of Hebrews, right? This great high priest, Jesus is a king, yes. He's a prophet, yes, but he's a high priest.

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And he also becomes the sacrifice. He's not just the priest that makes the sacrifice, he is the sacrifice.

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And he's writing to these Jewish believers who need to be encouraged. And he has a few commands throughout, but at the end, chapter 13, he just has a litany of all these commands, including chapter 13, verse 4.

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And the question for us today is, if we have a biblical view of marriage, do we honor this kind of biblical marriage?

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He says in verse 4, let marriage be held in honor among all.

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That's where I'm getting this exhortation from. And let the marriage bed be undefiled for fornicators and adulterers

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God will judge. Let marriage be held in honor among all, including here at Bethlehem Bible Church, with myself included.

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How would we go about honoring marriage? Let me give you a few ways that we could honor biblical marriage.

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The first way is to value marriage as a divine gift, as it's defined by God.

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It's a divine gift. It's not some kind of just social thing or just good for society. It's a divine gift.

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Do you notice the text in Hebrews 13, verse 4? Let marriage be held in honor among all. You know what the word honor means?

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Precious. It means valuable. Is marriage precious to you? And you say, well,

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I'm single or I'd like to be married or I'm no longer married or I'm a widow or a widower. But still, you see what

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God has done. It's so precious. It's so full of honor because it's talking about something. It's not just human marriage.

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Highly prized. Do you highly prize marriage? You're like, well, does the

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Bible say anything else about this honor word, this precious word, this value word? Let me read you three verses and see if you can spot this word as I read it, as you hear it.

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Knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.

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He was foreknown before the foundation of the world, but was made manifest in the last times for your sake.

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It's not just the blood of Christ. It's the precious blood of Christ. That's the word here for honor, that you hold marriage as something precious and honorable and something to be valued, highly prized.

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It's not just good. It's precious. I mean, it's one thing when

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God says, angels, you mediate such and such of a rule. It's another thing when

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God says, by the way, you know, through apostolic messengers, here's a truth. And it's another thing for God in Eden, before the fall, not using an intermediator like an angel or a person, but God himself in the garden ordains marriage.

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No man, no angel, no creature takes Eve and brings her to Adam.

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It was God himself. That's one of the reasons why it should be so full of honor in our hearts.

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Not only that, how do you honor marriage? You honor marriage by seeing how much

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Jesus on earth honored marriage. That's a good thing to do. Study Jesus when it comes to weddings and marriage.

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What did he say about them? Well, you could probably go back to when he was even born. He was born of a woman, right?

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She was betrothed to her husband. How about Jesus, his first miracle? What was the first miracle that Jesus did?

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Remember that kid that was teasing him when he was 12 years old and he made him mute? Remember that miracle? That's what some people say his first miracle was in some kind of book of peyote part two, chapter one.

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No, his first miracle was at Cana, right? Of Galilee, at a wedding. How would you like to have

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Jesus show up at your wedding? How would you like to officiate a ceremony where Jesus is in the congregation?

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By the way, if that was ever true, theoretically speaking, I would make sure I talk about Jesus a lot.

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I would make sure it was not moralism. He would be the star of the ceremony.

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Jesus shows up at a wedding to affirm, to confirm, to say, yes,

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I endorse this. Why? Because he created it. And you can't think about Jesus at a wedding without thinking about Jesus and the ultimate wedding and why he came.

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Did Jesus honor weddings in any other way? Even his teaching. He has all kinds of parables, does he not, about the kingdom of God as compared to a marriage in Matthew 22.

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He talks about wedding garments in chapter 22 as well. The Pharisees come up and talk to him about divorce and he's teaching the right thing about marriage.

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Jesus designed marriage.

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How could we honor marriage? Well, there's another way. Honoring marriage means that sexual activity must be restricted to marriage.

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Put positively, sexual activity must be enjoyed fully within the bounds of marriage.

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You see it, it's right in your passage. And let the marriage bed, or literally let the bed, be undefiled.

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In other words, how do I honor marriage even here in Hebrews 13? There's a holiness, there's a blamelessness, there's a purity.

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There's sexual integrity when sex is in marriage. Outside of marriage, the opposite is true.

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And no matter what, if people say, well, we're in love, or two consenting adults, that's not what the

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Bible is teaching here. Let the marriage bed. Somebody says, let's go to bed. You could either take a nap or you could go to bed, if you know what

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I mean. That's what he means here. This is the word for the act of what goes on with husband and wife.

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And he says very clearly, there should be sexual, not defilement, but there should be a definition of the marriage bed that would be including undefiled.

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Matter of fact, Jesus, it's said in Hebrews 7, that he was a high priest, holy, innocent, unstained.

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That's the idea, separated from sinners. God says the marriage bed is holy, so we honor marriage that way.

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And that means everything outside of marriage, unholy. Horace writes years ago, full of sin, our age has defiled first the marriage bed, then our children and our homes.

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Springing from such a source, a stream of disaster has overflowed both people and nation.

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Your marriage bed must be kept pure. Within marriage, enjoy yourself.

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Outside of marriage, defiling. Religion, James says, is pure and undefiled.

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That's the same thing. Well, how can we honor marriage? Let me give you another reason.

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Running from sexual sin. Do you notice your text? For God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

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How do we honor marriage? Well, there's lots of ways, and here is one related to the last one. God is, the word

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God is emphatic in the original language. Honoring marriage means running from sexual sin.

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Of course, the world is going to say, we don't care, judge us if you want. If God were true, he would have a lightning bolt strike me down right now, but sometimes

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God's judgment is slow, but it is certain. Of course, within a relationship of man and wife, marriage,

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God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Don't go running outside of marriage for sexual fulfillment.

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Don't look at pornography. Obviously, that would be included in these kind of things, would it not?

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There's a certainty of judgment. For Christians, of course, there's a certainty of chastisement. This is not minor, this is not light, this is not a minor matter at all.

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Future judgment he talks about. Of course, think about it. If God is love, and therefore love gives, and for God so loved the world, he gives, and everything about agape love is give, everything outside the marriage bed for sexual satisfaction is all take, it's all selfish.

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It's Ephesians 5, earlier in the chapter, where it's just this self -consumption.

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God will judge, it says. There's no such thing as recreational sex unless it's in a marriage bed.

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And if you notice, as you walk through this, it probably hits home with some people here who had such a lifestyle of sexual sin before they were a

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Christian, before they were married, then when it comes to the marriage bed, then they are reticent.

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They somehow think it's still dirty, or wrong, or something that's improper. Of course, that's not what the

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Bible says here at all. Sexual sin, that is sin outside of marriage, or pornography within marriage, and of course, the flip side of pornography, often times is a wife who withholds pleasure that is due her husband, or vice versa.

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We want to make sure we run far from that, because that's not the picture of Jesus loving the church. J .C.

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Ryle, it's the sin that leaves, he's talking about sexual sin, that leaves deeper scars upon the soul than any other sin that a man can commit.

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It's a sin that destroys thousands of young men in every age, and has overthrown a few of the saints of God in the past.

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Samson, David, for instance. And so, whether it's a man with pornography, or a woman flirting on Facebook, and reading

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Fifty Shades of Grey, all this needs to be repented of. Well, let's flip it around.

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If we're to honor marriage in a certain way, is there ways we dishonor marriage? Let's go through a few.

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You dishonor marriage, and a couple of these I already mentioned, but I'll just make sure I list them out again, because they're important.

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And by the way, sadly, they're rampant. How do we dishonor marriage?

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Watching pornography, dishonors marriage. Denying conjugal rights in a marriage, dishonors marriage.

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i .e., celibacy in marriage. How do we dishonor marriage?

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By exalting celibacy over marriage. Oh, you know what? I'm never going to get married, because I'm going to be more spiritual than everybody else.

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All the heathens that have to marry people. I can withstand the brunt of this, and I have the gift of singleness and celibacy.

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It's a special gift from God, and therefore, I'm better than you, or more spiritual than you. That would dishonor marriage.

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How would we dishonor marriage? Answer? Unbiblical divorce.

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Does that dishonor marriage? Does divorce dishonor marriage? The answer is, it doesn't make it highly prized, it doesn't make it valuable, it doesn't make it like the precious blood of Jesus.

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I read a Leadership Magazine article years ago, and it showed a pastor in front of his congregation in knight's armor.

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And he had the helmet on as well, and he lifted up the helmet like the hatch over his mouth, and he said, my subject today is divorce.

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And why did he have that stuff on him? Because he knew the arrows were going to be coming.

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It's like a pastor can't talk about gay marriage or divorce without feeling intimidation.

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We dishonor marriage when we just think, you know what? I'm not in love anymore, they don't do these things for me anymore,

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I don't care for them anymore, and therefore, you know what? No fault divorce, we just get divorced.

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That's a dishonor for marriage. Well, let's move from honor -dishonor to another question.

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How should you, dear Christian, treat people who dishonor marriage? How should you look at people in the world, unbelievers, and they're like,

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I don't care, Jesus and the church, and marriage, and husband and wife, and it can be three people, it can be eight people, by the way, that's coming, as many as we want, two of the same kind, a transgender, an

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LGBTQ, two men, two women, 15 people, whatever it might be, people that divorce a lot, people that have all kinds of issues with it, whatever it might be, how do we act toward them?

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What's the Christian response to people who are sinful? So, let's just step back for a second. How does

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Jesus treat sinful people would probably be the answer to the question. And what did He do? What did they blame

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Jesus for? Well, let's find out. Go to Matthew chapter 9, just momentarily, and I want you to see the heart of Jesus for sinners, and this should be ours.

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Our enemies we have, but our enemies aren't other sinners.

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Matthew chapter 9, what's our attitude toward sinners? What's an attitude that people should have here as Christians when we meet people who say,

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I dishonor marriage by my attitude, my actions are my words. How does

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Jesus treat sinners? Of course, there's no one like Jesus. What a friend we have in the

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Lord Jesus, it says in Matthew 9, 10, and as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, are you ready?

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Pay attention, many tax collectors, they were the worst, and sinners, people that said, you know what,

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I don't care what the Mosaic Law says, I'm just going to do the opposite, they came and were reclining, not far away from Him, not social distancing, sorry, couldn't help myself, with Jesus as disciples, but that was important, because it's all close, they're in tight, it's a real fellowship, and you don't sit up at a chair at the table like you do at our house, this is reclining, it's close, what fellowship.

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If you look in the window and you saw Jesus, and you didn't like Him, what would you be doing? You'd be telling everybody, birds of a feather, right?

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I tell my kids, you know, that was a good choice for the friendship that you had with that person, I can tell a lot about you, daughter or son, by the friends you make, true?

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Except in this case. Well, I can tell a lot about Jesus too, because He loves sinners.

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He loves sinners, and by the way, before you think, you know, well, does that mean

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Jesus just, you know, accepted their sin? Absolutely not! He came to bear sin, to die for sin, to judge sin.

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But when you have a big reception at your house, full of sinners, and you invite

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Jesus, He's going to come. And it's interesting, this reception here, there were many tax collectors, many sinners.

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Mark says, many, a bunch of times. These people that collect taxes, they were

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Jews who went back against their own country, because of the Romans, and sinners, these lawless people.

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What do you do for work? I'm a pastor. You ask these people, what do you do for work? I sin.

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And there Jesus is in the midst of it, and it is the complainers who are the Pharisees. And when the

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Pharisees saw this, they said to His disciples, too afraid to say something to Jesus, I would imagine.

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Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners? I mean, he's willing to associate with them, he's willing to be with them.

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Come on, you're going to get contaminated, and so are we, if we walk in there. We Pharisees are the separated ones, literally.

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What is Jesus thinking? Running around with all these sinful people. But when He heard it, He said, those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.

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Go and learn what this means. Oh, yikes. I desire mercy and sacrifice.

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You're experts in the law? Here you go. I desire mercy and sacrifice. Go study that. For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.

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Total embarrassment for the scribes. He blistered them with these words.

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Jesus came into the world to save sinners. 1 Timothy 1. So He's not going to associate with them?

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And again, He doesn't commend their sin, never does He do that. But He is around sinners.

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Do doctors go to the physically sick? Spiritual doctors go to the spiritually sick.

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The Puritan Brooks said, For Jesus to refuse to associate with sinners would have been as foolish as for a doctor not to associate with the sick.

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And of course for us, it's not us calling

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Jesus the doctor because we know we're sick. He comes and rescues us. And He argues from Scripture, I desire compassion and not sacrifice.

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That's the way we should treat sinners. Certainly not self -righteously, like we're better.

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And then our last passage today in light of that is Romans 1. If you'll turn there with me, Romans 1.

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And how do we deal with people who disagree with us? This is not just for marriage, by the way. This is just sinners in life.

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Unbelievers in life. Friends and family in life who disagree with us.

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And what do we do? Do we all move to Antarctica? I just think

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I read a story the other day. A guy lost his wallet in Antarctica 50 years ago and they just found it and returned it to him. That's pretty good.

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I don't know how many people go to Antarctica. I was swimming up the

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North Shore, I think with Kim and the kids 20 years ago, and there was this thing floating in the water and I went over to it and I'm like, this is something there.

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It's not like a fish. And I went over and opened it up and it was a wallet. And it had an ID in there from a student from Northeast University.

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So I took the 40 bucks that was in there and called the police. I did not.

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We're in between books of the Bible, Nahum and 2 Peter, because I wanted to make sure you were shored up when it comes to marriage, substitutionary atonement, marriage, husband and wife, for this is what the

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Lord has done. There's another reason. There are many people here who, for whatever reason, their marriages are hurting, they're struggling.

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We all need a checkup. We all need to tune up. I'd like to be a better husband. Many of you would like to be better husbands and wives.

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But I want to make sure we don't somehow think we're better than everybody else. And I think

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Romans 1 is a good place to remind you of that. When people disagree with God's view of marriage, how do we treat them?

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And so you remember in chapter 1, Paul is trying to say, everybody's sinful, so they need

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Jesus's righteousness. You don't have any righteousness. You don't do the right thing. And to get into heaven, you have to be perfectly right.

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And so the first thing you need to know is you have God's word, and you see like a mirror that you've got all kinds of spiritual blemishes.

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So you go, you know what? I need to remedy that. I can't remedy that, but I know one who can because he's revealed himself as the risen

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Savior. So Paul is first starting off with Gentiles in chapter 1, how bad they are.

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So they'll say, you know what? I need a Savior. And it says in verse 24 of chapter 1,

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God gives them up for lusts. Verse 26, there's another one.

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God gave them up to dishonorable passions, i .e., homosexuality, men and women.

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Verse 27, men likewise gave up. He's using this gave up language a lot. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge

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God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. And then for those of us that struggle with any kind of self -righteousness, which

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I do, and I'm sure you do, in chapter 1, verse 29 and following, there's a bunch of they's.

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They did all this. They did that. And everybody here should say, yeah, that's obviously true. They did it.

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They're going to get it. They're going to be judged. And chapter 1 is about temporal judgment. They will be judged.

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Look at them. They did this. They did this. They did this. They did that. And we're all like, yes, that's true.

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And they're going to get it. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetous, malice.

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They're full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They're gossips, slanders, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.

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And all the Jews who got this message would go, true, true, true, true. Amen, amen, amen.

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Verily, it's all true. Look at those unrighteous people. They even invent evil.

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They are just so wicked. I'm glad I'm not like them. I'm glad I'm not an adulterer.

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I'm glad I'm not homosexual. And then Paul says in Romans 2, verse 1, you might as well be.

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I'm not gay. You might as well be. I'm not a sexual sinner. You might as well be.

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And you're like, what? I mean, I thought he was talking about them.

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We're not like that. I'm not like that. That might describe them. That doesn't describe me.

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We mow our lawns and not on Sunday. We look good, white picket fences.

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But chapter 2 goes with chapter 1. Therefore, if you know those things are wrong, you have no excuse.

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If you know right from wrong, you have no excuse. Every man who judges. It even gets more interesting.

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Therefore, you have no excuse, O man, O judgment man. Every one of you judges.

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For in passing judgment on another, you condemn yourself. Because you, the judge, practice the very same things.

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He's basically saying, listen, you think unrighteousness is sinful. And it is. But something else is sinful too.

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When you know unrighteousness is not righteous. But you have unrighteousness in you.

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And especially when you think you're better self -righteousness. I'm not like them.

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By the way, that's why I think people love the Jerry Springer show back in the day. Before he was like a senator or something.

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I don't know. Why do people love, I don't know, what shows do they watch? Keeping up with the

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Kardashians? I don't know. Why do they like that? Man, those people are messed up. At least

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I have not fallen to such a place. Those people in chapter 1, they need a savior.

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They're wicked. They're awful. They are inadequate. But chapter 2, the noose comes around the people that know better.

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The religious Jew here. The religious person in chapter 2. Noose judgment should come on the chapter 1 people.

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And yet, how do they measure up? And so go to chapter 2, verse 13.

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And this is really the key for this section of chapter 2. This has nothing to do with sanctification. This has to do with if you would like to get to heaven, and I hope you would.

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Because hell is real and it's awful and it's forever and it's irrevocable. If you'd like to get to heaven, here's what you must do.

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This is like the rich young ruler coming up to Jesus. What must I do to be saved? If you ask that question, here is the answer.

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Verse 13, the ESV reads, For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified.

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Do you perfectly, entirely, exactly, perpetually obey the law of God?

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Because if you do, there'd be no reason God would say, Don't come into my heaven. But since we don't, we ought not to be saying,

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Look at all those people. We ought to be thinking, You know what? That was me.

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I even still struggle with some of those sins. But God has intercepted me. God has come for me.

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He saved me. He's loved me. He's given himself for me. And therefore, I ought not to just say,

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You know what? Those people are wicked. And somehow we're way above that. It's not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law.

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One old Puritan said, Many have passed on the rocks of gross sins, but have suffered shipwreck upon the sands of self -righteousness.

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We know the difference between right and wrong. And we know what the Bible teaches us about those that would despise and disdain marriage.

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God's ordained marriage. Marriage that shows Jesus loving the church, and the church responding to her husband.

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Spurgeon talks about self -righteousness. I'm no worse than my neighbors. In fact, I'm a great deal better.

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I do not drink or swear. I do not commit fornication or adultery. I am no thief. The laws of my country do not accuse, much less condemn me.

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I'm better than most men. And if I'm to be not saved, God help those who are worse than I am.

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If I cannot enter the kingdom of heaven, then who can? Just so. But then all that you claim,

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Spurgeon said, is that you are righteous as compared with others. Do you not see that this is a very vain and fatal?

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And so therefore, dear Christian, when we have people who are attacking the very foundations of Christianity, our response must be love.

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Our response must be kindness. I didn't say it during the first service last week, but only the second.

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So this will be a review. But our response when I move into the cul -de -sac where we live now, with my wife and four kids, and I talk about neighbors, and I did my research to make sure that there were no crazy people in the neighborhood, as much as I could.

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But then I meet neighbors and I think, Oh, across the street are the two lesbians. It was interesting.

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They said when they heard that the pastor and his wife were moving into town, Uh -oh, the pastor and his wife are moving into town.

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And we ended up being the best friends with them out of anybody on our block practically. And are still dear friends with them.

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They aren't the enemies. They say, well, we're pro -gay marriage.

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Yeah, I know that. And I'm not. And we're still... I'm going to act toward them nicely and lovingly and friendly and everything else.

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How could I think I'm better than you when I know me? When I see the scripture and it's a mirror, and I think, you know what?

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That is true. The law of God is like a mirror. And we take it and it's like a...

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I don't know if you ever get those mirrors that say 10X on them, and there's a little button that's got a light, and around the mirror the light goes.

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Have you looked at yourself in those? No men would say they would.

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But you ladies, you look, I'm sure. But that's what the law does.

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It's like, well, you know what? I'm not too bad until the light goes on. You think that's so true. So, dear Christian, what am

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I trying to say? I'm trying to say that when you define marriage, you talk about Jesus and the bride.

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And then there's all kinds of things that come from that very truth. A Savior who loved me and died for me and gave himself for me.

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It influences everything. How do I view marriage? In light of that. How do I want to treat my wife?

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In light of that. How do wives... How would they desire to treat their husbands? In light of that.

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How do single people look for a spouse? In light of that. What about what goes on within the marriage, in terms of sexually?

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In light of that. Don't I want my marriage to preach? Yes. If I leave my wife, then that shows everybody...

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It denies eternal security, because Jesus says, you know what? I'm going to love you to the end, and therefore I say, no,

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I'm not going to be like Jesus. So it affects and infects so many things. Our definitions of marriage have to include

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Jesus and how he loved us and he gave himself for us. I hope that's your definition of marriage.

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Let's pray. Lord, we thankful today. I feel convicted. I am convicted.

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And I'm sure many are here today. Not just in how we think about marriage. We would admit that's the easy part.

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Jesus loves the bride. Marriage. But in our own lives, for whatever purpose you have, when a fallible man preaches, you change your people.

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You encourage your people. You drive them back to not just the law, but understanding the riches and grace and compassion the

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Lord Jesus has for sinners. I hope that's true for our church. Would your spirit, the

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Holy Spirit, make that true? Every one of us would like to have a better marriage.

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Every one of us here, by the power of your Holy Spirit, could have a better marriage. And so, take these words,

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Lord, drive them deep into our heart, and help us to think rightly and to live rightly.

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Not for our own comfort, but for your glory. Not for our own happiness, but because of your holiness.

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In Jesus' name. No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

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Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible -teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life -transforming power of God's Word through verse -by -verse exposition of the sacred text.

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Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 1015 and in the evening at 6. We're right on Route 110 in West Boylston.

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You can check us out online at bbcchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.