Everything Would Be Alright If We Just Went to the Bowling Alley More

All right, hope you had a good weekend, good Lord's Day, good everything. I had a great weekend, good Lord's Day, and I also had a good everything, there's no question.

About it.

Why the Bowling Alley Feels Bigger and More Magical Than It Looks

So on Friday, we went bowling with the guys, with the boys, you know, we all went bowling, and we just, let's just go out and go bowling, so we went bowling. And it was a great time. I had some cigars afterwards, too, with one of my friends, and it was just a great time, you know, great time.

Anyway, bowling alleys, man. You know, I haven't been to a bowling alley in a while, and I gotta say, every time I go, I think to myself, man, I gotta come bowling more often, so I'm definitely gonna do it.

This time.

This time is gonna be different than the last times, where I say, oh, I gotta go more often, then I don't go for 10 years. This time, it's gonna be different, because I've come to realize that the bowling alley is a magical place.

It is a magical place. If you saw me on Twitter, you probably saw the first reason why I think bowling's are.

Magical.

It's like an optical illusion, or maybe it's not an optical illusion. Maybe it's just literally magic, because you go into the bowling alley, and no matter what, no matter what bowling alley you go to, it always looks so much bigger when you get to the inside.

Like, and you could understand, right, if you go to a bowling alley, but all you could see was the front of the bowling alley, because the height and the width, and then you go inside, and you're like, oh, this place is bigger than you thought.

Well, it's like, oh, yeah, I didn't see the depth, so I didn't know how big it was. But now, I'm not even talking about that, because the bowling alley at my house, I pass it all the time, because I go to the gym, and I pass this bowling alley, and it's kind of like tilted at an angle, the building, from where the road is, so I can see the height, the width, and I can also see the depth.

So I know what the dimensions are, at least from the outside, but when I went inside, it's like I entered this magical world where it's just, all of a sudden, it's three times the size. Am I the only one who feels that way, that the dimensions of a bowling alley, it's just always magical?

You walk in, and all of a sudden, it's this huge cavern, and it's just amazing. It's not just any cavern. That's the other thing about bowling alleys. It's a cavern of just pure, like, nostalgic fun. I mean, like, have you ever not had fun at a bowling

Casual Bowling, Patience, and Camaraderie

Now, listen, one thing I will say, this does not count if you're like a professional bowler, because I can understand if you're like really good, and you know, you're doing bad that one game, you'd be all upset.

But is anyone, a casual bowler, have they ever gone to the bowling alley and just not had the freaking time of their life? And it doesn't matter if you're drinking or not. You know, some events you go to, like concerts or something like that, or clubs, you know, you can only have fun if you're blitzed out of your mind, so they're really not fun activities, but if you're blitzed, it's fun.

But bowling, it doesn't matter, like, you could have a few drinks, or you could have none at all, and it doesn't matter. It's still fun, and it's fun multi-generationally. Old people like bowling, young people like bowling, middle-aged people like bowling, and everyone's having a great time.

It's magic.

How many things do we have in our world where that's the case? It's magical. And then you go bowling, and of course nobody can figure out how to use the machine, like the little computer thing, and it's always like a fun challenge, who can figure that.

Out?

That's always fun, and nobody's getting frustrated, because you're at the bowling alley, right? Because when I can't figure something out on my phone or whatever, I get very frustrated. I go, this is a stupid technology, you know, I get all upset.

You know, I go boomer on things. But when you can't figure out the bowling computer, nobody's upset. It's like, don't worry, we'll bowl soon. Everyone has a lot of patience at the bowling alley. And it's like, when it's somebody's turn, but they went to the bathroom or something, nobody's upset.

It's like, yeah, cool, we'll just chill in the bowling alley, it's no problem. Can you think of another place where everyone's just so chill? People go to amusement parks and Disney World, stuff like that, but nobody's chill there.

Everyone's freaking stressed out of their minds. It's a fun place, sure, but everyone's stressed out. Bowling alleys are different, though. It's just amazing. And there's so much camaraderie at the bowling alley, too, because everyone goes to the bowling alley, like, yeah, I stink.

You know, I stink at bowling. It's like, yeah, me too, I stink too. And you get a lot of camaraderie because you both stink at bowling, everybody stinks. And then when somebody hits a strike, you're not upset, you're not worried that you're going to lose the game.

You're just like cheering them on, it's like, yeah, bowling, there's a lot of camaraderie and there's a lot of, there's not a lot of envy at the bowling alley, at least, again, at least for casual bowlers.

It's like, man, you're doing really well. And it's funny because no matter what, you always get the one guy who's a little bit better than everybody else and everyone's looking for tips, right? And that guy's all too happy to give them tips.

That was me, actually, on Friday, a little bit better than everyone in my crew, but not.

That good.

But they're like, hey, what do you, what do I do here? And I was just telling them what I do. It's like, I was, I was more than happy to give them advice, even though I have no idea.

What I'm doing.

And then, like, these guys are getting better using my advice and we're just having a great old time. And it's like, you know, one guy, he was the worst bowler in the first game and the second bowler, I was getting the second game, I was giving him a few tips and he gave me a run for my money.

In fact, we tied that game. And I wasn't stressed out. I wasn't like, oh man, what am I going to do? In fact, I was going to lose on the last frame, but I actually had a great last frame. It was, you know, I got the spare, I got the strike, it was just great.

It was great.

Everyone was just chilling. And it's fun too, because when somebody fails in the bowling alley, you know, they either they fall or it's a gutter ball, whatever. It's like everyone's laughing at you and having a good time, but nobody takes offense.

Nobody's really worried about it. It's like you can make fun of your friends when they're bowling. And even if they're very sensitive and they usually wouldn't like when you made fun of them, at the bowling alley, they've got a thick skin.

Everybody is like, they've got a thick skin and they're having fun. The bowling alley, my friends, is so magical. It's like the best of humanity at the bowling alley, even though you're surrounded by a bunch of degenerates.

What other place could you be surrounded by degenerates, but yet it's still the best of humanity? I don't know a place. You know, you go to the bar. Yeah, sure. There's a lot of degenerates there, but it's not the best of humanity.

And there are bars at the bowling alley.

That's the thing.

Bowling Alleys as a Rare Mix of Families, Bars, Arcades, and Service

It's like there's bars. This is the other thing. It's like an amalgamation of everything pure out there. You know, you've got the bowling alley, you've got the people that are bowling, you've got the arcade, as you can see on the screen right here.

The kids love it. You know, they play at the arcade, play a few video games, whatever. You've got the bar where people are just out there just drinking, you know, and normally those things don't mix. You don't have the bar next to the arcade, the kids next to the adults.

You don't usually do that, but at the bowling alley, you can. It's a magical place.

And it's very diverse, too.

I mean, I don't really care about diversity, as you well know.

You know, diversity.

I saw Chocolate Knox's comment the other day. What's more important than diversity?

Oh, I don't know.

Diapers. Diapers are more important than diversity.

I agree.

Pretty much anything is more important than diversity. But it is, it's a diverse place, you know, you get the, at my bowling alley, you know, you got the roughnecks, sort of like typical gruff New Englanders there, like, like that.

And you got like the hipsters like bowling. There's a few hipsters there, dressed like hipsters, you know, things like that. And you got just the parents with the kids, and it's just having a good, wholesome time.

Even church groups go to bowling alleys. I was there.

I was with some churchmen.

We like the bowling alley, right? Degenerates everywhere, you know, but yet, here we go. We all come together, and we all are having a fun time. We're all cheering each other on. We're all looking at each other.

Oh, you just got a strike.

Oh, nice.

Oh, did you see him hit that split?

Oh, man, I hit a, I hit a major split. And this is like the first time in my entire bowling life where what I was trying to do with the split actually happened, and it was just, boom, it was just amazing.

It was a wonderful shot. And then the next shot was a, was a strike.

Man.

The bowling alley. I mean, the bowling alley, the bowling alley is a magical place. They got food there, and it's all greasy food, but nobody cares.

Oh, I'm on a diet.

Who cares?

I'm out of the bowling alley. It doesn't count. Wonderful place, man. Wonderful place. Bowling, and bowling alley workers, too, you know, they're so helpful. They're so helpful. Like, hey, what do I do here?

Oh, here, you just do, you know, they're just, everyone, the service at the, look, the service everywhere has declined, but at the bowling alley, the service is as good as it ever was. You think I'm joking?

I'm not joking. The bowling alley, man. It's just a wonderful, wonderful place. And of course, the aesthetic of a bowling alley, I mean, it has not changed since 1960.

You know what I mean?

It's the same aesthetic as it used to be. You got the weird, you know, carpeting, but nobody minds because you're at the bowling alley. Everything looks the same. The chairs are the same. When I was a kid, I'd go to a birthday party at the bowling alley.

We'd have pizza. Everything looks the same as it did when I was a kid at the bowling alley. So my suggestion to you, if you have not been bowling in a while, go to the bowling alley. If you need a white pill, go to, and I'm not talking about going to one of these nice like snooty bowling alleys.

Don't go to, that's not a real bowling alley. That's not a, that's not what I'm talking about. You know the kind of bowling alley that I'm talking about. Go to a bowling alley if you need a white pill, man.

It's just a wonderful place where all the problems that you have outside with politics and all that mess and all, you know, this is a Satan statue at the, at the Capitol. You leave it out there because in the bowling alley, you're just having pure, clean fun.

And you might learn a thing or two about getting along with people.

That's right.

That's right.

We're not all crabs. And Michael Fosher is all about the crabs in a barrel syndrome.

That's good stuff.

I'm not making fun of Michael because I, that used to be me. I used to be that crab that was trying to pull people down and stuff. That's real stuff.

That's real.

But it does not exist at the bowling alley. The bowling alley. Listen, the church could learn a lot from the bowling alley.

That's part's a joke.

This video is not a joke though. This video is real.

This is real.

The video is not a joke.

That part was a joke.

Go to the bowling alley.

If you've got a men's group at your church, just suggest that you go, you know, don't suggest, demand.

We're going bowling.

We're going to learn to get along. We're going to learn to talk and we're going to like it. We're going to go bowling, my friends. I hope you found this video helpful. I'm not kidding. Bowling is the, that's the ticket, man.

You want to, you want to find the solutions for America. Just go to the bowling alley. You will find everything you need to know about, about life at the bowling alley. Take a few Christian friends there with you while you're at it.

Anyway, remember that? Remember the Simpsons, the Holy Rollers? And then Ned, Ned, Ned almost gets a strike, but it's just one pin and he's like, God, it's me.

And he knocks over the pin.

Oh man, I hope you found this video helpful. This might be the last video for a while because I'm doing some stuff, you know, I'm doing some stuff, but I wanted to leave you with a good one. This is important.

Take your kids bowling. Go bowling with the boys. Even if you don't take your kids, go bowling with your boys. That's how you got to do it. Anyway, I hope you found this video helpful.

God bless.