How Do I Know When I'm Ready for Marriage?

Well, in South Korea, it's the exact opposite, where the younger generations are significantly smaller than the older generations, and so you have, I mean, you have a lot of people who essentially are, you know, are going to be dependent on the younger generations to support them once they can't work anymore, but then there's just not going to be enough people to support all of them.

The following message may be offensive to some audiences. These audiences may include, but are not limited to, professing Christians who never read their Bible, sissies, sodomites, men with man buns, those who approve of men with man buns, man bun enablers, white knights for men with man buns, homemakers who have finished Netflix but don't know how to meal plan, and people who refer to their pets as fur babies.

Viewer discretion is advised. People are tired of hearing nothing but doom and gloom.

Christ Alone for Salvation

The message of Christianity is that salvation is found in Christ alone, and any who reject Christ therefore forfeit any hope of salvation, any hope of heaven.

The issue is that humanity is in sin, and the wrath of Almighty God is hanging over our head. They will hear his words, they will not act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment, when the fires of wrath come, they will be consumed, and they will perish.

God wrapped himself in flesh, condescended, and became a man, died on the cross for sin, was resurrected on the third day, has ascended to the right hand of the Father, where he sits now to make intercession for us.

Jesus is saying there is a group of people who will hear his words, they will act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment come in that final day, their house will stand.

Marriage and the Creation Mandate

Welcome to Bible Bash, where we aim to equip the saints for the works of ministry by answering the questions you're not allowed to ask. We're your hosts, Harrison Kerrig and Pastor Tim Mullett, and today we'll answer the age-old question, how do I know when I'm ready for marriage?

And this is one of those questions that I think all young people are itching to have answered all the time. Right, Tim? Has that been your experience with this kind of topic in general?

Tim Mullett I think they're itching to, yeah, not talk about this at all.

Pete. They're itching to not talk about it at all. Probably not, at least not talk about it in the way that we probably would, right?

Tim. Right, right. Not talk about it as if there's any actual expectation that they would ever be, they need to be ready for anything.

Pete. Yeah, probably, the distinction there is probably like the need to be ready versus I just want to, like, whenever I want to get married, how do I get ready for that, right?

Tim. Yeah, most people, yeah, most people related to this topic, they think that marriage is something that's just a completely personal choice that they make whenever they subjectively feel like they're ready to make it, if that ever happens, right?

Pete. Yeah. Tim. So then because there's this hypothetical category of singleness, which, you know, people biblically meet the parameters of that, like, maybe 0 .00001 of the people, you know, in the world maybe meet that parameters for this category.

They think because there is that category, then this is just a purely, like, purely, you know, subjective choice that they can make whenever they want, if they feel led, you know, and when they feel ready, you know, it's all based on their feelings.

And then the same thing is true of having children too, you know, having children is just a completely personal preference choice that they can make, assuming that they want to one day.

Pete. So, why don't we start there? Why is it that, you know, most people outside of that, you know, point, I don't even remember how many zeros you put in there, but there's a lot of them.

Tim. Maybe it was a little bit hyperbole,.

But I mean, it was something like that, yeah. Pete. Setting aside that extremely small portion of, like, the world's population, right? For those who do not fall into the category of, like, the person who's meant to remain single, you know, for the purpose of some kind of ministry or something, what is the imperative?

Why are we saying, like, hey, it's not just like something that you can just, if you want to, you know, go get married, you know, if you want to have kids, why are you saying that these are, like, imperatives that are like, no, it's a, you must do this?

Tim. Yeah, I mean, it's one of the, you know, easiest, you know, biologically verifiable, like, realities that you can possibly imagine. So, on the one hand, I mean, this is just like, I mean, this is just biology one-on-one, but then on the other hand, and God, like, his first words to the human race are, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it.

So, God creates man his own image, and he tells him, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. If that wasn't good enough, he says, it's not good for man to be alone in Genesis 2, so I'm going to make a helper fit for him, right, to help him accomplish this being fruitful, multiply, fill in the earth, and subduing it.

So, you just open your Bible, first chapter, you don't even have to get, I mean, you just read through the first couple chapters, and you'll realize that God made man and told, like, he blessed them. He said, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it.

So, God, like, the first thing he tells man is, you're made to reproduce, right? And it's not good for you to be alone because you can't, you're not like a starfish or something, or reproduce asexually, right?

Like, you have to, like, it's not good for you to be alone, you need a helper fit for you. And I mean, like, the whole, I mean, you read through the whole Bible and you're going to realize that over and over again, like, read through the New Testament, it's appealing back to these very features that tell you, like, what marriage is, why it's there, you know, how men and women relate to each other.

So, you know, man is not created for a woman, but woman is created as a helper for man to help him fulfill these responsibilities. But I mean, just look at the world that you live in, man, like, just get some eyes, you know, see, like, there's a time, let me explain the birds and bees to people, there's a time.

Where boys…. Pete I should have put an explicit content on this.

There's a time where boys and girls, you know, start to undergo a transition from being boys and girls to men and women, you know, and during that time, like, what do you think happens? They're, like, absolutely filled with sexual desire, like, you know, post-puberty men and women, boys and girls, they're just filled with, like, particularly men are filled with desires to do these very things.

And I mean, that's why every single advertisement you're going to see in TV and movies is about sex, because sex sells. And that's why people are so fascinated with this topic and obsessed with this topic.

And there's all the problems that happen from individuals who are designed to do a specific thing and are basically saying, I don't want to do these things that God has designed me to do in the context of marriage, right?

So, you know, just look around the world that you live in, you'll see that people are performing the act that it takes to be fruitful and multiply outside of the parameters that God has given them to do this.

So, like, the issue is that people are not good at saying no to these biological created features of their design. They're not very good at saying no to these things because they're made to do these things.

But then, like, the issue is, like, that overwhelmingly points to the fact that they're creatures who are made with a purpose, they're made with a design. So, God has designed the human race to multiply.

He's filled them with desires to multiply. He's filled them with hormones that are giving them desires, like, on the man's end, particularly, to be fruitful and multiply. On the woman's end, He's given them hormones that make them want to be mothering.

Like, they're going to mother something, right? So, they're either going to mother a pet, they're going to mother everyone around them, you know, or they're going to mother a baby, you know? So, like, the issue is that, like, overwhelmingly, we're living in God's world.

God's designed us to be fruitful and multiply. He's told us this is why we're here, you know? So, I mean, it really is, I mean, it's very much like as if you just imagine that, like, God made us a car or something like that.

And I've used that analogy before, but just look at, like, you're a car, you're made to drive, right? That's what you're made to do. And it's just like a bunch of cars sitting around saying, I don't know.

I mean, it's kind of like a choice. Like, I can drive if I want to drive. How do I know if I'm ready to drive or not, you know? It's that kind of stupid discussion. I mean, it's about that dump to where you have a bunch of cars sitting there saying, I don't know why I'm here, you know?

Like, you like to drive. I don't know if I like to drive or not, you know? Maybe one day I'll feel ready to drive. I don't really know, you know? But it's like, well, what else are you going to do? You're just going to sit there?

Like, what do you think you have wheels for, man, you know? It's like you have wheels that are meant to turn if you turn the ignition on, you know, that kind of thing. It's like, what do you think that's all made for, you know?

I don't know.

Who knows what it's made for, you know? Darrell Bock. Who knows why we're the way we are. Ryan Clements. Right, right.

I mean, it's just about that dump, you know? So, this discussion really is a stupid discussion.

Tanner Iskra. And then on top of that, you have Paul, you know, explicitly telling Christians that it is better, you know, like, if you're the person who's burning with that kind of passion, it's better to marry, right, than to burn.

Ryan Clements Yeah, I mean, you only have.

One lawful outlet for these desires that you're filled with, you know? I mean, the vast majority of men today are, you know, addicted to porn. The vast majority of, you know, ladies, young ladies today are sleeping around, fornicating, you know, and a lot of men are doing that too, you know?

So, I mean, like, you obviously, everyone wants to be in a relationship, you know? Like, when you have kids who are just post-puberty, why do you think that they're all just pretending to be in marriages, saying, hey, we're dating, you know, whatever that means as a 13-year-old person or something like that?

What do you think they're doing? Well, they're filled with these desires to be fruitful and multiply. They're filled with these desires to couple, right? It's not good for a man to be alone, and they're just trying to pretend.

They're trying to act it out. They're pretending they're doing that without any of the commitment that's associated with that, and so they're trying to get all the benefits of this, like, you're designed for marriage apart from the commitment to marriage.

So, you can have people say all day long, yeah, marriage is a personal choice, but they're not acting like it, right? They're acting like they're made for a purpose, and they know they're made for a purpose.

They just don't want to, you know, it just makes us stupid, basically. Pete. Right, right.

So, when it comes to, I mean, you were saying earlier that, you know, asking the question, how do I know when I'm ready for marriage? You know, that's like a stupid question. So, for the person, you know, asking that, what is the response?

Jared. Besides it's a stupid question. Pete. Besides it's a stupid question. If you can't say that, what would you say? Jared. I mean, I think that, yeah, I think that there are additional, I think for a woman, like, it's very different to answer that question for a woman than for a man, but then there's a lot that I want to say about this that I don't know if I can get it all out at the same time.

But, I mean, there's a sense in which this question really isn't meant to be overly complicated, and people make it just so difficult. Like, they just, they make it mind-numbingly complicated, even though conceptually it's just a very simple thing to answer, you know?

So, I mean, just imagine yourself, like, Russia invades or something. Pete. Okay. Jared. You have young men saying, how do I know if I'm ready to go to war, right? It's like, what do you mean, how do you know if you're ready to go to war, right?

Like, either you go to war or we get conquered, you know? Like, it's just about that simple. Like, it's like, so, like, there's an aspect to this discussion where it's just kind of a stupid question, basically.

Like, meaning, like, if you get invaded by Russia, they've determined to go to war against you, and at this point, you either pull out a gun and you defend yourself, or you get.

Conquered, right? Pete. Or start learning Russian, huh?

Jared. You are, start learning Russian. Yeah, but like, the thing is, like, most people, they probably haven't prepared themselves for that moment adequately, right? Pete. Yeah. Jared. Like, meaning, like, you could be the kind of person who's preparing yourself your whole life for the Russian invasion or something, so that when it happens, you're like, you're ready to go, you know?

You're like, I've been preparing for this my whole life. Pete. It really suck if you're the one who was preparing for the Russian invasion, and then it's like, the Brazilians invade or something. Jared.

Right. Pete. Something totally out of left. I was ready for the Russians, not the Brazilians.

Jared. Yeah, so, but then there's part of it, though, where it's just like, yeah, I think there's ways that, part of what parenting is supposed to do is it's supposed to train young boys and young girls, prepare them to get married.

That's what it should be doing. So, our job as parents is to train our kids to get ready for marriage. That's what we should be doing. And I say that a lot of, like, parents don't think about their job that way, like they're preparing their kids for marriage.

But then the reality is that regardless of whether or not you're prepared, there is, like in the Bible, there is this concept of an age of love, meaning that, you know, once you're post-puberty, and you, you know, wherever this time is, and I'm not entirely invested in defining this, but like, there is a time, like, puberty is normally the biological marker to where you have kids who are transitioning into their adult form, right?

Pete. Yeah. Typically, what puberty is meant to do is you're transitioning from, you know, children to adults at that point. And then, like, in a biblical worldview, there isn't this category of a teenager, so to speak, that just some weird in-between, or even worse, like the young adult, right?

There isn't the category of the young adult. There's just children, and then there's adults. Pete. Yeah. Jared. And at a certain point, you become an adult. You become, you know, accountable to the Torah.

And that's part of what the Jewish ceremony of the Bar Mitzvah is meant to do. It's like you're a son of the Torah now, or the Bar Mitzvah, or whatever. Daughter of the Torah. That's what you're... So, like, the issue is, there is some age, and typically it's around puberty, like when puberty ends, which can be different from person to person, but give or take, you know, we kind of know where these biological markers are, where people transition from this time, from, you know, childhood to adulthood.

But then, like, the issue is that whenever that time comes, you know, the Bible would describe that as the age of love, you know? So, you know, a good passage that I bring up, and no one ever likes this passage, but I don't really care, because it's a great passage that talks about this kind of thing.

But, you know, Ezekiel 16, God says to Israel, you know, or Ezekiel 16 6, I pass by you. When I passed by you, I saw you wallowing in your blood. I said, in your blood, live. I said to you, in your blood, live.

And then verse 7, I made you flourish like a plant of the field, and you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment. So, I mean, that's that language of, like, biological maturation, right?

Yeah. You arrived at full adornment. What does that look like? Well, it says, your breasts were formed, your hair had grown, and yet you were naked and bare, right? So, like, at a certain point, we know what this is, women transition from girls to women, right?

Mm-hmm. Transition biologically, same thing for men, right? We know what happens when guys, like, you know, when boys start to transition in this way, they start to smell bad and have hair growing, right?

Like, we know what it looks like, so. Their appetites become insatiable, they just inhale as much food as possible.

We all, yeah, I mean, we know when, yeah, so, I mean, there's time of transition, and then you get past it, you arrive at full adornment. But when I passed by you, again, verse 8, and saw you, behold, you were at the age of love.

So, you know, there's a biological time where you're basically at this age of love, where you're prepared to get married. And what's happened is, I think, a lot of people, they just make it way more complicated than it actually is.

And I think, I mean, most of, like, the difficulties come on the man's end, and not necessarily on the woman's end. So, meaning, like, what does a woman technically have to do to be ready to get married?

Well, not much. Go buy a dress, and comb your hair, and possibly take a shower.

Take a shower, take one shower.

That's about it, you know? I mean, now, I say that, and I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just trying to say, like, what do you have to do? Actually, what do you need to do to prepare to get married?

Well, not much, right? So, meaning, like, on the guy's end of things, I mean, the preparation is a little bit more, because, you know, what it means to be a husband is to be a provider in that way. So, Jesus, you know, He goes to prepare a place for us that where we, where He is, we might be with Him also.

So, for a guy, I mean, there's a lot more hurdles, meaning you're gonna have to figure out a way to provide for two plus one, right? So, you're gonna have to have a means of provision that's gonna be suitable for you, this other person, and then a baby.

But, I mean, on the woman's end of things, all that really, I mean, technically, all that she has to really do is just have a guy who's willing and be willing herself, and then be ready to have a baby.

But, I mean, like, you know you're ready to have a baby when you're biologically ready to have a baby. You're not, I mean, this, like, this idea of being ready for marriage is not really meant to be this emotional category where you're emotionally ready to do something.

Does that make sense? So, I mean, think about it, like, if you think about it in the same way, like, with the war analogy, if Russia invades, you better go to war. Who all is emotionally prepared to go to war?

I don't know. Like, most people who go to war, they don't know what they've gotten themselves into. Like, how do you know that you're gonna be emotionally prepared to stand on the, you know, stand in the front lines and charge the other, you know, the enemy army?

Yeah, I don't know that anyone's emotionally prepared to do it any, at any point. I mean, you know, if you're waiting around to be emotionally prepared to have a kid or to get married, like, you may be waiting a long time and that's why people are not, they're not getting married as quickly as what they used to be, you know what I'm saying?

Well, yeah, I think, I mean, I think that's just a reality of life in general. It's just being able to do things that you're, you're not sure if you're ready to do, you know, like, I mean, there's tons of things throughout, throughout life that everyone does, even if they're not sure if they're actually ready to do it emotionally or not, you know, that's just a regular part of life.

So, so from the marriage and baby perspective, you know, I mean, most people are going to tell you anyway that you're never going to be like ready until you do it. And then, then you start learning how to be ready to do it.

That's what I mean. So, I mean, I think you can, I mean, you can obviously prepare yourself better than nothing, right? So the guy that's prepared his whole life to be, you know, the fight against the Russians when they invade, he might be better equipped and better ready to go.

But I mean, there is, there is like a sense in which this, like, if you, if you understand this to actually be a command, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and to do it, right? It's not good for man to be alone, but you know, God's going to provide a helper fit for, for man in that way.

If you actually think about these things as not just optional things, but actually just that God's, you're, God made you a car, you're designed to drive, right? And then he's designed you to drive when you become an adult.

Like if people just thought about it as simply as that, like, you're a, you're a car, God made you a car. And when you become an adult car, he's designed you to drive. So you better get ready to that, to do it.

Like if it's a command, it's a command, like it. And if you think about it like a command, like a corporate command given to the human race, which you are a member of, this is God's design for you. If you think about it that way, then everyone's going to feel afraid when they enter into new stages of life.

But that doesn't mean that the way, you know, you're ready to enter into a new stage is once you remove all the fear. Right. Does that make sense? Yeah. So any more than when the enemy army invades, how do you know you're ready to fight against them?

It's like, well, you better go do it.

When they invade, when they invade. Yeah.

I mean, so the same thing is happening. Like when people become adults, their body is telling them that they're ready to do this thing that God called them to do. And you can either respond to that in faith saying, I, Lord, I believe, right.

You're God, you designed me for a purpose. I'm going to do what you've called me to do. Right. You can either respond in faith, you know, without fear saying, I'm going to trust you. To be with me and to help me to be faithful to this purpose, you've designed me to do to fulfill right with you.

Right. So you can respond that way. But if you're just waiting around for all of your reservations and to go away, it's just like, you don't even know what this is going to look like until you actually do it.

Right. Yeah. So, I mean, there's just this sense in which, like, you should just respond in childlike faith and obedient saying. Here I am, Lord, use me. Right. I guess I know what you've told me to do.

And the thing is, if everyone had that attitude, if women were, if young girls were being trained to think, hey, God's put you here for a purpose. Right. He's put you on the planet in order to be fruitful and multiply.

You're going to have desires that he's given you to have babies. And you're going to try to take those desires and you're going to try to use, like, you're going to be told by society that, like, you can ignore those if you want, but you're not going to be able to escape them.

You're going to literally mother everything around you. Or else you can mother a baby, like God's called you to. Right. Yeah. Like, you can pretend like God didn't call you to make babies, but, and you try to mother that, you know, those dogs that are going to die every few years and then you're going to have a dog funeral and you're going to cry and everything else.

Or you can actually, like, do what God called you to do. But the issue is if you had, like, ladies who were ready to get married who were saying, hey, this is why I'm here. You know, I was created for man.

Right. I wasn't made independent. I mean, I was created for man. I need to find a man to love, to honor, serve, to bear his children. Right. And to raise those in the fear and admonition of Lord. That's what I needed to do.

Like, I need to be available. If you had ladies who were just saying, hey, here I am, I'm ready. And then you had men who were saying, you know what? It's your job to provide for those women. So you better come up with a plan.

Right. Yeah. And not you better come up with your plan in your late twenties. You better come up with a plan earlier than that. Right. Yeah. Because it's chaos when everyone just sits on all these desires for a decade or a decade and a half, like you better get ready because there are ladies out there waiting on you to get ready.

Like, if so, if there are ladies waiting for men and men out there saying we got to be men and provide for these ladies, I mean, you might actually be in a situation where you can, you know, young men could rejoice in the wife of their youth and not rejoice.

In the wife of their old age and the wife of their thirties instead. Yeah.

That's God's design. So, I mean, like, there's just so many passages like this, rejoice in the wife of your youth that make no sense in the society that, like.

Rejoice in the wife of your thirties, your geriatric wife.

No, I mean, really. So I think that part of this discussion is like, yes, like you're ready to get married when you're biologically ready to get married. Let's just like interject some reality here. That's the way it works.

And the problem is, I think society has put a lot of like hurdles and obstacles in the place of particularly of men providing for a household. So, like, you know, just a generic college degree anymore, it really isn't a great life plan that's going to help a man.

I mean, just getting some kind of, you know, generic degree isn't really going to help you provide for a family. And in order to do it, you really have to have a lot more specialized education. You know, and a lot of young men, they really do need to think about going to, you know, pursuing a trade or something along those lines.

And so they can be ready quicker, you know, so. And then you have a lot of ladies who aren't being told to, you know, prepare themselves for marriage. They're preparing themselves for a career, right?

And they're getting themselves into thousands and thousands of dollars of debt, you know, going to prepare themselves for a career when they should be preparing themselves for marriage, which, I mean, you know, might involve learning how to cook and learning how to clean.

And, you know, how dare I just want to say on behalf of all women everywhere, Tim, how dare you? Yeah, I know. Putting the joking aside. I mean, you know, I have I have two daughters and, you know, one of the main priorities with them is as soon as possible teaching them how to do all of these, you know, all of those like homemaking type things, along with, you know, obviously like teaching them about God and the gospel and teaching them the scriptures and, you know, encouraging them to put their faith and trust in Christ.

Secondary to that, I'm trying to my wife and I are trying to teach them, you know, this is what God designed you for. I want you to know how to do this and I want you to do it well because one day, you know, like your role in marriage is going to be the homemaker, the one who is taking care of the children.

And I want you to be like essentially the way I'm looking at it is I want my daughters to be the type of daughters that everyone would want to marry, basically, you know?

And I think about that like that, too. I mean, it's like, hey, I'm preparing my daughter to be the kind of woman that some man should want to marry, right? Right. So, I can either help her like be a desirable marriage partner or I can just train her to be a thorn in some poor guy's side for the rest of his life.

And obviously, I mean, you know, I think there's more that goes into being, you know, like, and I mean, in the context of having daughters, I think there's more that goes into it than only like, hey, you know how to take care of a household.

But I think that is, you know, in terms of like, what does it take to be a desirable marriage partner? I think there's a lot more that goes into it than just, you know, knowing how to take care of a household.

But then for, you know, for women, that is an extremely large aspect of, in my mind, like preparing for marriage is understanding how do I know how to do these things going into marriage as opposed to trying to learn all of them while also trying to adjust to living with another, you know, another person that I've never lived with before.

Preparing Children, Homemaking, and Practical Readiness

Yeah, I think you definitely, like, if you prepare well during your childhood years, then that'll be a blessing to everyone around you. So, I mean, that's certainly true. But then I think, you know, and I think a lot of that, yeah, for ladies, a lot of that does involve like learning how to cook and clean and be domestic and do the laundry.

And I mean, yeah, if you're going to homeschool your kids, which you should, you know, or be putting them in some sort of Christian education or something along those lines, I think, yeah, you're going to have to know, I mean, you're going to have to have some kind of education too.

You're going to have to know certain things. So, you know, there's obviously homeschool horror stories that happen when, you know, ladies who are barely literate don't know how to teach your kids anything.

So that's obviously true. I mean, I think like being a hard worker and there's all sorts of traits that you can make your marriage better. But then I think when it comes right down to it, though, like there's part of this discussion that just involves whenever you reach the age of love, like as the Bible defines it, like when you reach the age of love, like if you just sit on that for a decade, you're just useless.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like in a very real sense. I mean, you're not doing the kind of things that God has assigned you to do. So whether men or women, like what's happening is that you have a lot of men and women who are just devoting themselves to worthless things when they're not devoting themselves to the best kind of things.

And that way, and so you can look at it and say, well, I don't feel like I'm emotionally prepared for marriage yet. It's like, well, okay, well, I guess you're just going to make a train wreck of your life for the next 10 years, opening yourself up to all sorts of temptations, right?

And opening everyone else up to temptations around you because you didn't feel emotionally ready or something like that. So like there is a very real sense in which, yes, like, okay, prepare as good as you can.

And then figure out, and then from there, you've got just figure it out, man. And I think it doesn't make a lot of sense if you really think about it, because the Bible says that, you know, to find a wife is to find a good thing and like children, you know, going even further, children are a gift from the Lord.

And so it just, in my head, it never really, and to be, you know, in all honesty, like I was the person saying a lot of these things way back in, you know, when I was trying to figure all this stuff out for myself.

I mean, you were there for some of that, like, particularly with the children aspect of it, but, you know, it just doesn't make a lot of sense to say, hey, I'm just not emotionally ready to receive this gift.

But it's kind of like, if you turn back to the car analogy, I mean, it really is like a car who, you know, you're like, if you can imagine like the car is being pieced together or whatever else, and then it comes to its full form at adulthood at 18 or whatever it is, right?

And so it's finally transformed into a fully functional car at that point, right? So let's just go with that analogy for a second, but then it's like a car just sitting there saying, well, you know, driving on a road is a big responsibility, and I don't know if I'm ready for this yet.

And it's just like, well, what are you going to do then? You're just going to sit there in the driveway for a decade?

Yeah, and that's the problem. The people who say, I mean, I was that person and I was saying, you know, I was the one saying, hey, you know, like we'll have kids whenever we have kids, but not yet, you know, not yet.

And then, you know, like, hey, well, you know, when we're ready, we'll have them. But then the problem was I was never trying to get ready. And the people saying the same thing, you know, like, hey, I'm just not emotionally ready or I'm not, you know, I'm just not I'm just not ready, whatever that means.

They're not nor more often than not. They're they are not trying to get ready in any way whatsoever. They just want to do all of the all of the things that they want to do. And they know if they get married and they know if they have children, then those things are going to hinder, you know, they're like playing video games or traveling and seeing the world or their career or whatever it is.