Inaugural Address of President Keith Foskey

Inaugural Address of President Keith Foskey

I'd like to thank all of you who have chosen me for the presidency of the newest and greatest church network in the history of evangelicalism. The Superior Theology Network is going to be greater than TGC, T4G, or even G3.

And we're going to be even moodier than Moscow. As your president, I promise to rule benevolently and to appoint a cabinet of men who are certain to bring everyone together. Men who are known for their careful attention to nuance.

Like Doug Wilson, who's going to be our press secretary. James White, our secretary of defense. And Joel Webbin, our secretary of clickbait. And to show our love for all of our not-yet-Calvinist friends, we're offering associate memberships.

You can be part of the network, but we will not grant you the rank of superior. So if you're ready to be part of the Superior Theology Network, the only church network that really matters, send in your application today.

And don't forget to write legibly, especially when you're entering your credit card number.