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So, tonight is part two of this study wherein we are going to be continuing our examination of Proverbs chapter 5. If you were not here last week, we have already examined verses 1 to 14, but I would like for us to read the whole psalm in our reading tonight, I'm sorry, the whole proverb rather, as we do to see that it does fit together as two parts of one thought.
So if you would, with your Bibles open, read with me, we're going to begin reading at verse 1. My son, be attentive to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil. But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps follow the path to Sheol.
She does not ponder the path of life, her ways wander, and she does not know it. And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others, and your years to the merciless.
Lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner. And at the end of your life, you groan when your flesh and body are consumed, and you say how I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof.
I did not listen to the voice of my teachers, nor incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well, should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets.
Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. A lovely dear, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.
Be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman, and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths.
The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly, he is led astray. Our Father and our God, we come to you in Jesus' name.
We thank you for your word, and we pray even now, Lord, that you would help us to understand it by the power of your spirit. For Lord, our minds are weak, our flesh is weak, but Lord, your spirit within us is the one who can teach us in our mind and in our heart.
And Lord, tonight, as we look to the subject of marriage, we know, oh God, that this is one of the areas where the enemy has come with great assault over the last several years, even decades, in our own land, where people have not only given up the idea of what marriage is, but Lord, given up the idea that marriage is even necessary at all.
So Lord, help us tonight to understand the value of marriage, and Lord, as I pray every time, that you would keep me from error, for I am a fallible man, and Lord, capable of that. Lord, keep me from it, and open the hearts of your people to understand your word.
In Jesus' name, amen. As many of you are very aware, over the past couple of days, there has been a firestorm of controversy in the news, and particularly on social media, because of a leaked document from the Supreme Court of the United States.
The Supreme Court, apparently, is revisiting the case of Roe versus Wade, which many of you are familiar, the case of Roe versus Wade, was essentially what allowed for abortion to become legal in all states, and unfettered abortion to happen over the last half century, and over 60 million babies have been murdered within the womb as a result of that decision.
Well, the Supreme Court, apparently, is considering overturning that half-century-old decision, and if they do, that will set a new standard of precedence across our land, where essentially the decision for abortion will then default to the states, and there are already states who are poised and ready to outlaw the practice within their borders.
Amen. That's a wonderful thing. So with that as the background, I want to share with you something that I saw on the internet. There was a lady who was saying, she was saying this on video, I imagine she probably just filmed it with her phone, as that's how a lot of folks post videos online, and she had her phone filming herself on video, and she said, ladies, listen up.
If this decision goes through, then we've got to cut off the men from casual sex. No more casual sex. We can't be going out and having casual sex if they're going to make us have their babies. To which every thinking Christian said, amen!
What if we do this? What if we produce a contract that would actually force him to enter into a relationship that was lifelong, and he would actually have to take care of the child and support you? What if we did that?
Would that work? You know, somebody already had that idea, his name is God, and he called it marriage, and basically what she was saying is, if this goes through, then we've just given up our ability to have all of this casual sex, and we're like, amen, amen indeed.
So as I was thinking about tonight's message, I was thinking about that video, and I got to thinking about what it is we're talking about tonight. What we are actually discussing tonight is the value of marriage, but it's more than that.
It's the idea that once a man finds a wife, that she should become unto him the only woman that he ever looks at and looks to for the desires of his life, not only emotionally, but physically. And that the wife of his youth would carry him through his youth and into his old age, and that she would be to him the wife that is the wife that satisfies him.
And the call, remember, is to the man. Not to the woman satisfy your husband, but to the man, be satisfied in your wife. Don't go looking through the blinds of the house of the harlot. Don't go trying to find your satisfaction in someone else, but be satisfied in the wife of your youth.
So, we're going to look at the text, we're going to do as we always do, we're going to read through, I'm going to make comments, make application as we go, but I want to say a few things before I even do that.
One, I know that some of you are not married. Some of you are perhaps in a situation where you have gone through a divorce, or maybe you've gone through a situation where you are a widower or widow, or perhaps, and this may not be anybody in this room, maybe somebody is listening online, perhaps you are young, you haven't yet been married, and you long to be married, and you may say, I feel like this isn't really for me tonight.
No, this message is for all of us. Especially though, if you are a man who is married, this message is going to hit you square between the eyes. And if you're a young man who's not yet married, I hope you listen to me as well, because the Word of God is talking to you tonight about what you need to look for in the wife that you are going to take.
So let's look first, beginning at verse 15. Solomon, the writer, is speaking, and he says, drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. This concept of drinking water out of your own cistern means, essentially, to keep yourself unto your wife.
You say, how do you know that's what it means? That could mean a lot of things. Well, if you go down to verse 18, it says, let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. That is the context of verse 15.
That's what's building up to verse 15. So this is not just any old cistern, or any old flowing spring of water. This is referring, in an allegorical way, to the wife of a man. This is an illustrative prohibition against adultery.
This is saying to a man, drink water from your well only. And again, this shouldn't be hard for us to understand or picture, but we understand there are many men who have not obeyed this prohibition. And you know what's amazing to me, is that when God gave ten commandments to Israel, that included within those ten commandments are two prohibitions against this particular sin.
The seventh commandment is, do not commit adultery. But then the tenth commandment is, do not covet. And what does he say in the list of things not to covet? Do not covet thy neighbor's donkey, nor thy neighbor's wife.
And so it's not only that you not commit adultery, or take another man's wife, but rather don't even desire to take another man's wife. Coveting means to desire that which God does not have for you. And I will tell you this, men, she ain't for you if she's somebody else's.
If she is married to another man, then that's it. She ain't for you. No matter how good she treats you, no matter how many times she brings you coffee at work, no matter how handsome she tells you that you are, liar that she may be.
If she is another man's wife, she is not yours to take. And so that is what we are reading here. Drink water from your own cistern. Flowing water from your well, not another man's well. Now, he goes on in verse 16 to say, should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets.
This is, and I mentioned this last week, there's two places in Proverbs 5 where the King James and the ESV have a disagreement. And I mentioned the last one last week, so I'm not going to reiterate that.
But in this one, it is quite a difference because the ESV says, should your springs be scattered? That is in the interrogative or the question form of the sentence. Should they be scattered? And the understanding is no, they shouldn't be.
But the King James Version says, let thy fountains be dispersed abroad and rivers in the streets. And so the translators of the King James are saying that the fountains being spread abroad are the idea of children being born.
And so the idea is, let your fountains be spread or let your spring, as it were, and this is, of course, a euphemism for sexual intercourse, which produces children, let your spring flow forth. Yet almost every other translation translates it in the negative.
Don't let that happen. Even the New King James, Brother Andy, you're a New King James person. Would you read for me, please, verse 16? It's still a question, and that's what I thought. I had looked at it from different translations.
And so the question becomes, well, which one is right? And again, if we have an a priori, or rather, I said that wrong, a priori, that's Latin for a decision that we've made before the facts. If we have an a priori assumption that the King James is always right, then there's no question.
But if we take a step back and look at the original language, then we get to discuss whether or not which one is translating it properly. Here's the thing. They both can't be right. Because one's saying you shouldn't do it, and one's saying you should do it.
This is one of those times where they say, well, the ESV is just saying the same thing a different way. No, this is saying something different. So we have to be at least honest and say, no, this is one of those times where translation matters and what is actually being said.
Those who support the King James rendering argue that Solomon is saying that a man's fountain is his family, and with his wife he should flourish with many children. That certainly is true. But those who translate this as a question are saying, is it right that a man spread his fountain, a euphemism for sexual activity, everywhere should his fountain be spread all about?
So which is it? Well, sometimes the answer is more difficult than we want to be able to say, and sometimes the answer is... I would never ever say it could be both because it can't be both, especially if it's different.
But I will say when I don't know, and I will say commentators and those who read the original languages and teach from the original languages are divided over this. So I do not think that this is a place where we should divide over our particular interpretations or a priori positions.
However, understand this, when the translators of the Septuagint, and if you're here long enough, you'll hear me mention the Septuagint, and if you don't hear me mention the Septuagint, you'll hear Mike mention it because he reads it while watching UFC, and for some reason that's his fun activity, loves to watch UFC and read the Septuagint.
I don't know why, but he's told us that many times. But the Septuagint is the Greek translation of the Hebrew Old Testament. In the Septuagint translation of this particular verse, it does place the negative me, which is the mu eta, which is a word which puts it in the adversative at the beginning of the sentence indicating that it is a question or a negative rather than a positive.
So if we simply look at how the translators of the Septuagint translated it, they translated it in the negative as does the ESV, the New American Standard Bible, the NKJV, and all other translations. So there is reason to translate it in that way.
So that's where I'm going to leave that, but I want to simply say this, if you disagree with me, it is always okay for you to be wrong. That is a joke, of course. I understand this is certainly not a place to divide.
Yes, Brother Brian. There's one other one I found. It was... What's that? Yeah, he's giving you a hard time. There is another, because I pull up every translation I can when I'm studying a verse, especially when there's a question, and I did find one other, and I believe it was the Hebraean Study Bible, but it may be based on the King James as well.
So I have to... I just... When I pulled it up, I had like 30 of them in front of me, but only that one was in agreement. So bringing us back to the most important thing. That's not the most important thing.
What's most important is this idea of our wives and fidelity to our wives. I want to now move to verses 17 and 18, because he says in verse 17, let them be for yourself alone and not strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed. And again, if you take 18 as the fountain being children, then that would lend to the King James Translation. Just to give you an idea, 18 does support the King James Translation, if that's what it means.
And rejoice in the wife of your youth. Beloved, that one phrase, every man, if you have a workshop or a place where you go to meditate or a place where you... I meditate while I'm doing stuff. I have a hard time sitting still.
I think it's something in my brain that just keeps me... Even when I preach, I rock back and forth. I'm like a metrodome. I just have a hard time being still. And so when I want to really think through some things, I go get a project to do and I think while I'm doing it.
Oftentimes, I have revelations, but I have a little area that I'm turning into my new woodshop and I put up little signs that remind me to pray or remind me to trust the Lord. I used to have one when I was making t-shirts that would say, do everything to the glory of God, because I always said, if I make a t-shirt and I'm doing it as a business, I should do it to the glory of God.
And Martin Luther said, a Christian shoemaker does not show his faith by putting little crosses on his shoes. He shows his faith by making good shoes. So I always said, I'm going to show my faith by making good shirts.
Still share the gospel with people, but I make good shirts. That was the whole idea. So I have these Bible verses that remind me of things and a Bible verse for you to put in your in your workshop or your your maybe your study or maybe you have a man cave, whatever it is, is to rejoice in the life of your youth.
To remember that this this this this person that God has placed in your life is is meant to be rejoiced, is meant to be loved and appreciated and exalted. And she is the number one person in your life, not your children.
Not your parents, but your wife. This is something we emphasize with my children a lot. Do not ever ask me to put you before my wife because it will not happen. Because one day you're going to grow up, you're going to get your wife, you're going to go out and you're going to create your family.
And at that point, you will have left father and mother cleaved under your wife. The two become one flesh and you've moved on. But mommy and I are going to be together till one of us dies. Amen. Lest we do it at the same time.
That's the goal. I just as both at the same time, I mean, neither one of us has to suffer. We just both go out at the same time. So the idea of being together and trusting and loving and rejoicing in the wife of youth, that's what Solomon's saying.
We're supposed to rejoice. And you say, why does he say the wife of your youth? Well, given this a lot of thought. Because one of the most significant changes in our modern culture is people who wait long periods of time before getting married.
People are told you have to do all these things before you get married. You have to go and get an education. And then after that, you have to get a career. And then after that, you have to save up a certain amount of money.
And then after that, you have to own your own home. You have to do all of these things before you get married. And what this has done is this has dramatically increased the cases of cohabitation and the cases of people who choose just not to be married at all.
I will tell you this. I was married at 19 years old. I met my wife at 17. I married her at 19. I would have married her at 17. I married her at 19 years old. We didn't have much. We still don't have much.
We didn't have a whole lot. Then we used to look forward to 29 cent cheeseburger Wednesdays at McDonald's because there was 29 cent hamburger, 39 cent cheeseburger, and we would literally scrape coins out of our ashtray.
A long time ago. They don't put ashtrays in cars anymore. Scrape coins just so we could go and drink water and eat a cheeseburger on a Wednesday because we didn't have a whole lot, but we grew up together.
We got saved almost at the same time within a few months of one another. We became believers. We became adults and we grew up together. Not everybody has that. And I'm not saying that's the way I'm saying my way is the right way.
I'm just saying for us, I can say with this passage, this is the wife of my youth. And I do think there is danger. And those who say I'm going to put it off and I'm going to put it off until until I'm ready or until the next thing or until the next thing.
All we are doing is courting. Sinful temptation, unless you are gifted with singleness, and the Bible does say that there are certain people who God has made eunuchs, this was Jesus said, which essentially means they have no sexual appetite, they have no desire to be with another person.
I think they are rare. But if that is the gift that God has given you and you can be alone, then Paul says that's good. You can serve the Lord. And be alone. But I'm going to tell you something that is so rare.
So I say this, if you are a young man, find a wife. Now, don't just pick the first lady who comes along. I mean, be discerning, but find a wife. Marry her, love her, provide for her, grow up with her, grow old with her, make the wife of your youth, the wife of your old age.
Ray Ortlund said this, he says, Proverbs 518 does not say rejoice in your young wife. No wife can remain young forever. Proverbs 5 rightly points out that she is the wife of your youth. However long you both live as husband and wife, she will always be that girl.
Look at her. She is that girl you married back when you were both young. The passing years have no power to change that tender reality. She is still that girl who gave herself to you on your wedding day.
She is still that girl who put herself in your arms. She is still that girl who went with you into that hotel room on your wedding night. You locked the door and she trusted you. She gave herself to you.
She could not have been more vulnerable. She could not have been more honoring toward you. Remember that. Dwell on that marvel act. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. Now. It goes on to call her a lovely dear, a graceful doe, and it actually expresses a sexual interaction, it says, let her breasts fill you at all time with delight.
Be intoxicated always with her love. Men, there are a lot of women out there that want to intoxicate you with their lust. They want to intoxicate you with their bodies. They want to intoxicate you with their outfits.
They want to intoxicate you with their smells. They want to intoxicate you with everything that they can and rob you of this blessing. The blessing. Of being intoxicated only with the wife of your youth, do not look for pleasure outside of your home, that's the simple statement, make a home, find a wife, get married, have children, raise them in the Lord and be content with the woman that God has given to you.
By the way, I hate even saying this, I got angry recently about this, but I'm going to say it and then I'll clarify. This goes for ladies to be content with your husband and all that. But I hate that we have to do that all the time.
I hate that we always have. I posted something, something about some kind of sinful thing. No, I posted this. I said, women, do not embarrass your husband in public. Nobody thinks you're clever. All we think is he is miserable.
I posted that online. I said, do not embarrass your husband in public. We don't think you're clever. All we think is he's miserable. And somebody had to post this. It goes for guys, too. Well, of course it goes for guys.
But I was talking to ladies and I can talk to men, too. There's nothing that says every time I say something to a man, I have to then clarify, oh, it's got to go to the girls, too, or vice versa. Well, I know that we ought to be old enough and mature enough to understand that.
Sorry, I got off on a sidetrack there. But absolutely, this rule goes for everybody, man, woman, everybody. Be content with what's at home. Don't go looking through the blinds of your neighbor or through the Internet websites of your neighbor.
Be content with what's at home and look for pleasure there, not outside. Now, verses 20, 21, 22 and 23 kind of come in a in like rapid succession. So we look first at 20. He says he asks a confronting question.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? That's a confronting question. Why would you do that? Why would you be intoxicated with a forbidden woman?
Why would you embrace the bosom of an adulteress? He just said be satisfied in the bosom of your wife and not that of the forbidden woman. Remember who the forbidden woman is. She's a deep ditch. Brother Mike often prays when he prays about, but he's good about both sides.
He'll pray about the forbidden woman, the harlot, who's a deep ditch and she'll drag you down to hell. And the man with the glistening teeth and the wagging finger and all that. He's fair. He goes back and forth.
But the truth is, she is dangerous. We talked about her last week. The woman at work who who tells you. All of those good things that you never hear at home, or maybe you hear them and don't care because you've heard them so much.
So the confronting question is, why would you do this? Why would you embrace this? Why? You ever think about a man who has destroyed his wife for adultery, later asking himself this question. Looking at the one bedroom apartment that he now lives in because he's lost everything in the divorce.
Looking at his children being raised by another man. Watching all the people around him enjoy the relationships that he used to have that he no longer has because he's given it up for the bedroom of the harlot.
And now she's gone, too, because he was only good as long as he lasted. And he didn't last that long. Why would you do this? Solomon asked, why? And then verse 21, he hits us right in the heart, guys.
Because he says this. For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord. And he ponders all his paths. You know why he's saying that right there? Do you know why he's sticking that verse right there? Because some guys may get away with it for a season.
They may be able to find themselves in the bosom of the adulterous and then come home and no one knows. But there is one who always knows. There is one that cannot be fooled. The Bible says in Psalm 139, I can ascend into heaven and you are there.
I can descend down to Sheol and you are there. I cannot escape from your presence. Oh, God, know where I can go. Can I go where you are not? I've told you guys the story of Bahrain. Bahrain is considered it's a country and it's considered by Muslims to be a place that Allah does not look.
Therefore, you can go there and commit all of the great sins of gambling and prostitution. It's sort of like a little Las Vegas. And they say you can go do this because Allah has no interest in Bahrain and therefore there is no reason not to indulge.
That's a fantasy. It's a fairy tale that men tell themselves. No one will ever know. God will now. No one will ever see my sin. God will see your sin. A man's ways are before the eyes of Yahweh. Always, always.
Verses 22 and 23 in the proverb with another reminder of the consequences. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him. He is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline. And because of his great folly, he is led astray.
It's like being tied up. It's like being confined in a cell. But the tying ropes are not physical ropes, but rather they are the ropes of sin and guilt and shame. This week is Mother's Day. And the title of my sermon for Sunday is The Grace of Guilt, because I'm still going to be in Genesis.
Just so you know. Joseph's brothers are brought before him and he challenges them. He says, you're spies. And they immediately begin to pour out in their Hebrew language their confession. We should have never hurt our brother.
Look what God is doing to us. You see, the guilt overwhelms them when they realize. They don't even know it's Joseph yet. They won't know that for another chapter and a half. But they know that they've sinned.
And they know that their sin has found them out. And guilt is like a rope that crushes us. That's what he says. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him. A snare is a trap. And he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
And ultimately, he dies for lack of discipline. And because of his great folly, he is led astray. Now that last verse is difficult because sometimes we ask the question about. Is this talking to a saved person?
Is this talking to a lost person? This is giving general rules of wisdom for all people. But in specific, there is a sense in which if you remain in your sin. It is an indication that you were likely never saved to begin with.
If you can dive headlong into sin. Swim in it. Love it. And continue in it. And deny the Lord Jesus Christ. And there is a good chance you were never saved. And in that sense, your folly leads you astray.
I look forward to Sunday to talk about God's remedy for guilt. Because there is a remedy for these ropes that hold us. The Bible says if we confess our sin. God is faithful and just. He is faithful and just to cleanse us of all unrighteousness.
What a blessed God that we have. That can take a broken sinful wretch like me. And make me his own. I am going to close with just a few words. I want to say just a couple of things on the institution of marriage as we draw to a close.
In 1960, in the United States, 70 of all adults were married. Today that number is just under half. As a result, 8 times as many children are now born out of wedlock as compared to that same year. 8 times as many children are born out of wedlock now than were in 1960.
Not 8 more. 8 times more. In the 1960s, 2 thirds of all young adults in their 20s were married. Now only 26 of those in their 20s are married. 2 thirds were married in their 20s. Now only 26%. Time Magazine reported that 40 of Americans polled believed marriage is now obsolete.
And that article is quoted as saying neither men nor women need to be married to have sex or companionship or professional success or respect or even children. You don't need marriage anymore. You can have everything without it.
As a result, many people are not just cohabiting prior to marriage, but they are cohabiting instead of marriage. And according to the most recent polls, less than half of Americans believe that cohabitation is morally wrong.
And I'll tell you, that's not just in the world, that's in the church. People in the church say cohabiting is not morally wrong. And this stands to reason that since the New York Times reported that from 1996 to 2012, the number of cohabiting US couples jumped almost 170%.
From 2 .9 million in 1996 to 7 .8 million in 2012. And that was 8 years ago. And furthermore, those who do get married are not seeing it as a permanent institution. Divorce rates are actually lower than people think.
People always say, oh, the divorce rate is over 50%. That's not true, based upon statistical studies. Because people aren't getting married anymore. It's not that people aren't getting divorces, it's just so few are getting married, there's less divorces because people just aren't getting married.
But it's still high. It's just not that everybody says 50%. It's not 50%, but it's high. Many people practice divorce in their youth because they go from dating relationship to dating relationship to dating relationship, often having indiscriminate sexual activity in those dating relationships, which then produces basically one failed marriage after another in their minds.
Therefore, what's another failed marriage? As Christians, we are called to have the highest view of marriage. We are called to hate adultery. We are called to despise divorce. We are called to practice fidelity.
And we are called to pray for contentment, to be content with our wives. And all things which would intrude upon our marriage, from the vilest pornography to the so-called innocent flirting, are to be despised and rejected.
Young men, seek a forbidden woman and you will find yourself in a deep ditch that leads to hell. Instead, find a wife with whom you can build a life and be content with her all of your days. These are the words of Solomon to us all.
And it is the word of God. Let us pray. Father, I thank you for your word. Lord, may you write these truths upon our heart. And Lord, I pray for every young man in this room. I pray that you would raise up wives for them.
I pray for the young women in our church, that you would raise up godly husbands. Not just the man who is there right now, but the right man. And Lord, that you would give the men of this church the wisdom to love these young men enough to speak into their lives truth.
And the women of this church to be godly women. And to show the young women what it means to be a godly wife. Submissive to her husband. Loving her husband. And the husband loving his wife as Christ loved the church.
There is nothing more manly in the world than a man who loves his wife as Christ loved the church. God, give us men like that. In Jesus name. Amen.