Is Divorce a Sin? - Jeff Durbin of Apologia Church (Part 2)

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March 6, 2016

What does the Bible say about divorce?

Jeff Durbin:The Lord's Prayer - Part 3

00:03: You can open your Bibles to Matthew chapter 5 the gospel according to Matthew first book of your
00:08: New Testament if you're new to the five Most famous Sermon in the history of the world the
00:17: Sermon on the mount right and so we've been in for quite some time We're in a series called the kingdom of God the term that Matthew uses in The gospel according to Matthew is the kingdom of heaven but kingdom of God and kingdom of heaven are synonymous it's it's a synonymous term and title and so we're right now in the
00:38: Sermon on the mount and Jesus now has already given to us the beatitudes. That's he pronounces divine happiness upon God's children he gives us the blessings
00:49: Blessed are those who are persecuted Blessed are the poor blessed are the meek and Jesus then gives us this this commission this charge
00:57: You're the salt of the world. You're the light of the world You're the city set on a hill and then
01:02: Jesus tells us his view on the law of God He says that he doesn't want anybody to even begin to think that he's come to abrogate it to destroy it he's come to Fulfill it and then he says that whoever does these things and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven and if anybody teaches others to Relax even the least of one of his commandments to be called least in the kingdom of heaven
01:29: Jesus then begins in the Sermon on the mount to actually address the common
01:37: Arguments of the day the common themes of the day. So it was on the newspaper of the day
01:42: Jesus begins to address really their mishandling of the law of God and the Word of God and you begin to see
01:49: How does God feel about his law? A single time, but we're now in Matthew chapter 5 after Jesus talks about Adultery, he talks about lust.
02:06: He tells people that you must be willing to cut out or sorry pluck out your eye and to cut off your hands
02:11: He then says in Matthew 5 31 Here now the
02:17: Word of the Living God. It was also said whoever divorces his wife. Let him give her a certificate of divorce
02:25: But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of and the word there is fornication
02:35: Makes her commit adultery a different word and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery
02:43: Let's pray father. I want to pray That you'd bless us now as your people as we come before your word
02:51: God help me as a teacher help me Lord to teach your word in a way that brings you glory
02:57: I pray God that you by your spirit would speak through me to your people that you would God Wake us up that you would open our eyes open our ears
03:06: To your truth that you would correct us God and you give us hearts that are humble to receive that correction
03:12: And I pray God that you would firm us up in our commitments to all of your word today
03:18: God guard my lips and my mind from error as I teach your people I pray God that you would help us as a church to know you intimately and to know your word and to love it
03:28: Help us to understand your word God and Lord. I pray that we would out you would allow us as a church to Get the message of your word and truth out to the world in Jesus name.
03:40: Amen All right, so this is big right Jesus says And it's hard it's a hard teaching it was also said whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce
03:50: So Jesus actually at this point is referring to Moses He is referring to Moses the
03:59: Mosaic law actually gave permission to have a divorce on certain grounds
04:06: But He says in the context of people who had the most popular version of divorce the
04:15: Hillelites the divorce for any cause he says that is unless it is on the grounds of fornication
04:24: You make someone commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. So this is a big deal
04:30: It's a big deal Now it's been popular in our day our current culture to say that even
04:35: Christian marriages one out of every two fifty percent of all Christian marriages end in divorce in the last year that has been debunked and shown to Be a completely false statistic.
04:46: It is not true that one out of every two Christian marriages end in divorce I'm not saying of course that divorce isn't a problem within the church
04:56: I'm saying that it is not true that our numbers are as bad as the world But that's a discussion for another day
05:02: This is an important discussion to have though because divorce is a big problem within the church
05:08: And I think there are two important failures we have today in the modern Evangelical church,
05:14: I think of the church in the West has two important failures I said them to you last week if you remember I said the first is is that we don't we act like we don't even care to begin with So you might have a context where you have a very very large church you attend this church for many many years and maybe you have had two or three divorces and maybe one or two of those divorces was on illegitimate grounds and It seems as though in the modern evangelical church.
05:38: We don't even care We say something like well Jesus died for sinners And he forgives us of our sin and divorce is not the unpardonable sin and so therefore we should just really be able to say well
05:49: Divorce is just something we'll put over to the side And if you have an illegitimate divorce really it's no big deal because Jesus can forgive you
05:55: Right imagine the person who goes out and steals all the time or commits adultery all the time and they were to say to you
06:01: Well, Jesus is a mighty Savior, and he's greater than my sin What would you what would you have words for that person?
06:07: What would you say to them right? Yeah, I think you need to repent in a hurry because Jesus says if you love me Church in the
06:13: West and that's that we treat divorce like it's no big deal We don't confront people who divorce on illegitimate grounds.
06:21: We don't tell people no you can't divorce your spouse You need to submit to God you need to confess your own sin before God and you need to work to restore your marriage
06:30: We don't say it as often as we should we treat it like well It's really no big deal and and and the consequences of that the consequences of treating divorce in a way that God does not teach us to the
06:43: Consequences are single moms single dads broken homes kids without fathers and we have children across the nation with father hunger kids that are hungry for a dad and they don't have one because their
06:55: Families are broken up without proper cause So first we have a failure in the
07:01: Christian Church and that we're very lax about divorce But a second failure we have in the Christian Church in my estimation
07:07: My humble observation here is that we also have a failure in that we go to the text here in Matthew chapter 5 and we act like this is a text that exists all by itself and We act like it said without no context no historical context
07:24: No biblical context and we take Jesus words and we rip it out of context
07:29: We create a proof text and we use that proof text to abuse lots and lots of people
07:35: I can tell you that I've heard ministers of the gospel again. I know well intentioned and well -meaning
07:40: I've heard ministers of the gospel go to a text like this They isolate it they take it I think out of context and they use it in a context where a woman is being abused
07:50: Maybe she's being beaten. She's being neglected The husband has abandoned the Covenant and the minister says well has he committed adultery?
07:59: Has he had any sexual immorality and the woman says well no But he gives me a black eye twice a week and the minister says well, it's not actual sexual immorality or fornication
08:10: And so therefore there's no cause for divorce And I think there have been many many many women and men who have been abused by the pulpit
08:21: Because we do not read God's Word in its context And I think we need to do that if we love one another and we love
08:27: God who will handle God's Word Rightly. Amen. And so let's go to the text first and foremost
08:33: I laid down foundations last week if you missed last week's sermon I want to encourage you to go over to YouTube Apology of studios watch the sermon in full and then get this one as well
08:43: But if you missed last week, I am gonna lay down some foundations once again So we know how to rightly handle the
08:49: Word of God here first and foremost We have to ask this question about Jesus and the law Jesus and the law.
08:54: How did he feel? How do you feel about the law of God because this is a big one because if you believe that Jesus comes and then he takes
09:02: The law of God and he actually actually takes it and he abandons it for some new way
09:08: And he says this is no longer valid. It's no longer abiding We no longer touch it or handle it
09:13: It's now done that I'm here if you feel that way then you'll go to Matthew chapter 5 in these discussions on the law
09:20: And you'll sort of morph Jesus and his statements into saying something that it's not like Jesus is somehow subverting the law of God He's not brothers and sisters
09:30: Matthew 5 17 through 19 should be the overriding principle you have for all of Matthew 5
09:37: Matthew 5 17 Jesus says may namaste a in the Greek which means do not think
09:44: He doesn't tell them to stop thinking they were thinking it and you need to stop He actually says something stronger may namaste a means don't even begin to think don't let it enter into your mind
09:55: That I have come to destroy the law or the prophets I have not come to destroy them but to fulfill them now if you want to know what that means
10:03: I suggest you go to our app It's awesome having technology today, right? I don't need to give sermons over and over and over again, right
10:09: Matthew 5 we touch Matthew 5 17 We unpacked it to show what that means Jesus did not come to do away with the law of God as though it were a bad thing
10:21: He comes to put it into its perfect place God's intended meaning for the law
10:27: He actually puts it into place and establishes it in its true way
10:34: Fulfills it and he tells people it's amazing thing. He tells But what's the most popular view about Jesus in the law today people say what?
10:44: Oh, that was the Old Testament. We got Jesus now Right. I told you a story. I was at the abortion clinic and we had a sign that said
10:51: God hates the hands that shed innocent blood and the woman that was there was professing faith in Jesus and she said
10:58: God doesn't hate And I said you're gonna have a real hard time with that I encourage you just to Google what
11:04: God hates Okay, that's how you handle a millennial today. Just Google it. It's right. God does hate lots of things, right?
11:11: He hates the hands that shed innocent blood, but this woman says to me who says she believes in Jesus She says that was the
11:17: Old Testament. We're Christians now. We have Jesus. Let me just say this Jesus is the
11:23: God of the Old Testament and The law of God is law that came are you ready from Jesus?
11:32: You don't have two different gods God of the Old Testament that was really wrathful.
11:38: He just loves the law he's just really a big meanie and And what we've done now like Douglas Wilson said in my interviewed with him and we've adjusted his meds between testaments, right?
11:47: And now he's really really soft and nice and now we have Jesus and he's all about love and grace No, actually the
11:53: Messiah's kingdom was to come into the world and bring salvation and the knowledge of God to the ends of the earth
11:58: He was going to regenerate people save them from their sins put his spirit within them and his law
12:07: Internalized within them. So now under the new covenant as redeemed people. The law of God is something we love
12:12: It's in us within us We love God's law and we want to obey God now from the hearts the law of God So Jesus and the law
12:21: Jesus says don't think he came to destroy the law the prophets now watch This is a big one.
12:28: Hang on to this. It's massive It changes everything in terms of how you see Jesus now addressing the
12:33: Mosaic Code Jesus said don't even begin to think I've come to destroy it and within a few breaths a few breaths
12:41: He says it was also said whoever divorces his wife. Let him give her a certificate of divorce
12:47: But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of sexual immorality makes her commit adultery now if you think if you and I think that Jesus now is going to the
12:59: Mosaic Code and Saying I know that it says that but not anymore We're gonna do away with that Then you have
13:08: Jesus within a space of a few breaths talking out of both sides of his mouth On the one side
13:15: Jesus is saying don't even begin to think I've come to do that and on the other side He says now I'm coming to do that Any interpretation that makes
13:23: Jesus go to war with Jesus ought to be rejected. Amen So when
13:29: Jesus is addressing his current day and their theology and their interpretations of the law
13:36: We have to handle it in a way that does not make Jesus the Lord of glory God in the flesh
13:42: Look like he's contradicting himself So what do we have here? Are there changes in the law of God, of course, but God defines those changes.
13:51: I told you guys last week Do we still have a temple? Yeah, but now it's a temple eternal in the heavens that can never be destroyed.
14:00: Do we still have a high priest? Yes, we have a high priest who will never die and doesn't have any sin who intercedes for us forever
14:08: Do we have a Passover? Yes, Christ is according to Paul our
14:15: Passover and you begin to see that all the law of God does relate to today, but it relates in its fulfilled sense
14:21: You begin to see that the law of God or New Testament is always assumed Except where there has been a change, but that change is addressed under divine inspiration so as an example you have
14:35: The Old Testament it says don't muzzle your ox while it treads And most of you are thinking well, that's certainly
14:44: An ox is not a law that actually applies today except where the Apostle Paul does apply it and he says about Churches who are to care for their ministers so they don't die while they're working
14:56: He says don't you know, you're not supposed to muzzle the ox while it treads and how does he apply it to the ministers who are?
15:02: Working vocationally around the clock to care for you He says don't muzzle the ox while it treads your pastors are gonna die.
15:07: Make sure you take care of them That's how he applies it right and the law of God is handled in that way but also there are changes that are actually lined up and spelled out
15:17: Ephesians chapter 2 the holiness code shellfish Bacon, thank
15:23: God are allowed today and Together they marry well right
15:30: Really anything with bacon marries. Well, amen Okay, so the holiness code specifically pointed to the holiness of Jesus and the separateness of God's people
15:41: But those specific codes aren't done in the same way anymore because those boundary markers that separated
15:49: Jew from Gentile are obliterated in their new covenant because Abraham has descendants as numerous as the stars that include
15:55: Jew and Gentile and those things that divided us before are now done away with However, does that mean the holiness code was stupid?
16:04: It meant something Significant and it means something significant to us today
16:10: Here's the point the New Testament Has the right God has the right in the New Testament to define for us what changes are in the law of God It's always assumed the law of God is the standard and I want to ask you this
16:25: Have you considered the Apostle Paul's words in Romans 3 31 After he talks about justification by faith alone in Christ alone apart from any work of law and in Romans 3 28
16:39: He says therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith apart from works of law
16:45: He says in Romans 3 31. Do we then make void the law through faith?
16:53: The Answer is no. He says actually we establish the law
17:00: We don't void the law of God because we're justified by faith. Now we establish it now that we have it all out of the way
17:08: Let's talk About what Jesus was doing in Matthew 5 briefly.
17:14: I'll give you guys the touch again first Does Jesus change the law of God of lust and adultery?
17:21: What's he say in Matthew chapter 5? He addresses this specifically in verse 27
17:26: You've heard that it was said you should not commit adultery, but I say to you Everyone who looks at a woman with lust in his heart is already committed adultery is
17:35: Jesus listen, this is big because some people think Jesus is doing it is Jesus Changing the law of God He is clarifying the law of God.
17:47: He is actually showing you what the law of God is meaning and He says this It's like this.
17:54: It's not just the act itself if you look with lust Lustful intention in your heart you've committed adultery
18:01: Guess what adultery was against God's law in the heart in the Old Testament too, but they had through lawyer finesse
18:09: Twisted the law of God to mean it just means the act of actual sexual morality
18:15: It's it's the actual acting and now I can do it in my heart God's not concerned with that except for the fact that God says you were to love him with your heart soul
18:24: Mind and strength Jesus isn't changing the law of God. He's showing you
18:29: God's Intention the true meaning of the law Next murder is
18:35: Jesus changing the law of God when he tells them you shall not murder But I say to you and now he addresses the anger in their hearts.
18:42: Is he changing the law of God? Absolutely not because the anger in your heart was against God's law in Leviticus 19 17
18:53: God had condemned it there as well next point Verse 38 538
19:01: Jesus says you have heard that it was said an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth But I say to you do not resist the one evil now
19:09: This is big watch because I think one of the most common verses people use
19:16: Passage right here this verse They'll say hey the Old Testament was I for I tooth for tooth, but God says no now you you turn the other cheek
19:24: Well, what you have to do is read the passage Exodus 21 24 I for I tooth for tooth burn for burn life for life.
19:33: Listen was about justice in the court system Now grab that for a second because it is big the passage
19:43: Jesus quotes from I for I tooth for tooth was specifically about in the context if a pregnant woman
19:53: Becomes a victim of people's negligence and she loses her baby and it dies
20:00: The judicial law is this life for life I for I tooth for tooth
20:06: But yet Jesus in this context in the day actually does something he says you've heard that it said
20:12: I for I tooth for tooth but I say Do not resist the one who is evil, but if anyone slaps you on the right cheek turn to him the other
20:20: What's what did he do is? Jesus mishandling the scriptures Because in this passage
20:26: Jesus actually is talking about personal vengeance But Exodus was about the courts and justice two different things
20:39: Because in Jesus day, they were handling the law in such a way where they were actually saying this
20:44: Hey, it says I for I tooth for tooth. I'm gonna get you. I For I tooth for tooth did not apply to the private individual to go out and just start seeking personal vengeance
20:55: If you are personally offended you don't have a right to take God's Word and say I for I tooth for tooth
21:01: I'm gonna get you as a matter of fact God's law specifically condemns
21:08: When a person tries to take the law into their own hands to get personal vengeance, that's not my job
21:14: It's not my job. It's the job of the God -ordained institution of Government but yet Jesus here says if somebody smacks you on your right cheek turn to them the other
21:25: How do you smack somebody on the right cheek with your right hands? It's a backhanded slap and he says this to you
21:32: You've heard this said I for I tooth for tooth But I say don't resist an evil person if they smack you on your right cheek turn the other if they give you the backhanded slap if they tell you if If they give you the backhanded slap if they're cavalier and they're abusive towards you
21:51: Jesus says turn the other cheek Don't retaliate don't say I for I tooth for tooth
21:58: It's important because people have actually taken that passage how many times we heard this Christian pacifists
22:05: They say Christians. No, no, no. No, we shouldn't do self -defense Why well because Jesus says I for I tooth for tooth, but I say turn the other cheek
22:12: God doesn't want you to do self -defense. Just take a beating for Jesus The only problem with that is that God's law specifically tells you that Yes, you can defend yourself and an example as if a thief breaks into your house at night
22:30: You're even allowed to kill that person out of self -defense and you're not guilty of murder Jesus isn't subverting the law of God's an important thing to note that Jesus is not destroying the law of God Now what you need to get here is that you get to the text
22:48: Matthew 5 with all the underneath you guys That's a review from last week Matthew chapter 5 31. Jesus says it was also said whoever divorces his wife
22:55: Let him give her a certificate of divorce But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except in the ground of fornication
23:03: Makes her commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery This is very important get this there were two schools of thought major schools of thought in Jesus day
23:14: There was a school of Shammai and the school of Hillel The school of a rabbi named
23:22: Shammai and a school of Hillel the Shammai ites in the heights The most popular divorce of Jesus day was what?
23:33: Remember from last week Force for any cause and it was the
23:40: Hillelite Divorce they had said this watch Watch how people handle
23:45: God's Word Moses says you just need to give a certificate of divorce So now as long as you have a certificate of divorce
23:54: You're obeying the law of God because Moses says you can do it And so what they did is divorce for any cause so you literally had guys
24:01: Divorcing their wives because they weren't good -looking anymore You had them divorcing their wives because they didn't cook well, and you had any cause just certificate of divorce
24:13: But the other school was Shammai, and it was the more conservative view that said you had to have specific
24:20: Biblical grounds for divorce you couldn't just do any cause so watch
24:25: Jesus is Exactly addressing the controversy of his day
24:32: The Controversy of his day was between two schools Hillelite and Shammai ites and Jesus is showing that he's on the side the conservative side
24:42: The lawful side that says only if you have proper biblical grounds
24:49: Now this is really important in terms of showing you guys how important context is now watch if you take the whole
24:55: Bible together You don't really need the historical background I don't need to tell you there were the
25:01: Hillelites and Shammai ites for you to properly interpret Scripture Because if you read the law of God with Jesus and Paul you get the proper picture
25:10: It's just helpful isn't it to know there were guys named Shammai ites and Hillelites and to know what they believe because then you can
25:17: Actually fill in the details. Let me give you an example of how important it is to know context
25:22: Let me ask you guys a question you guys ready. I'm gonna ask you to answer out loud, okay? Is it lawful for a 15 year old to drink
25:33: May ask it again is it lawful for a 15 year old to drink So you got it.
25:44: You see what happened. I asked it right away I said is it lawful for a 15 year old to drink your immediate response.
25:51: No why because you got to be 21 Right 21 What'd you do
25:58: I Said is it lawful for a 15 year old to drink and you filled in your cultural context and background
26:07: You immediately filled in Oh Alcohol no you got to be 21, but let me ask it again.
26:13: Is it lawful for a 15 year old to drink? Yes, or you'll die
26:20: Right so doesn't Cultural context and background help in the discussion
26:27: Yes, so for that you've read Matthew 5 let's stay in the same book go to Matthew 19
26:37: Matthew 19 Now You'll begin to see it
26:44: In the same way here, but a little fuller in context now when Jesus had finished these sayings
26:50: He went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea Beyond the Jordan pause
26:55: I said this last week that is significance a lot of what you read in Scripture is polemics arguments about specific things and So in Romans the
27:10: Apostle Paul isn't just laying the gospel out He's actually responding to arguments to his position you see it in the text and in Matthew's day
27:18: There's a certain situation something happened in this region with a guy named
27:24: Herod and there was also a conflict between another well -known prophet his name was
27:29: John the what? John the Baptist imagined him outside condemning Herod for the marriage to Herodias Right and he was saying it is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife
27:44: Remember that? That was a controversy and it cost John the Baptist his head
27:51: Now Matthew announces and Matthew goes into the same area of the controversy
28:00: About marriage and divorce now John lost his head Jesus now watch it says verse 2 and large crowds followed him and he healed them there and Pharisees came up to him and what?
28:16: They were testing him in The place of the controversy.
28:22: They're now testing him By asking is it lawful to divorce one's wife for what?
28:29: For what for any cause there it is. There is the controversy between the
28:35: Hillelites Any cause divorce Jesus can we do it for any reason?
28:40: And what does Jesus say? He goes back to creation He answered have you not read that he who created them from the beginning male made them male and female
28:51: Hey, that's part of our catechism We're straight biblical an apology a church Okay And said therefore man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become
29:02: One flesh so they are no longer two but one flesh what therefore God has joined together Let not man separate they said to him
29:10: Why then did Moses command one to give her certificate of divorce and to send her away See any cause and Jesus says don't destroy what
29:20: God has brought together and they're like, but what about the certificate of divorce? Right.
29:25: How could we said you can do that? And so Jesus says he's addressing the controversy He said to them because of your hardness of heart
29:34: Moses allowed you to divorce your wives but from the beginning it was not so and I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for fornication and Marries another commits adultery
29:45: So you have to have the cause of fornication So Jesus is saying it has to be on biblical grounds fornication not for any cause
29:55: God's Purpose in creation. He makes a man and a woman not a man and a man
30:00: Not a woman and a woman not a man and a woman and a woman and a woman and a woman You get me he makes a man and a woman and he says he created them from the beginning male and female they were to leave
30:11: Father and mother they were to cleave Together and become one flesh right leave cleave
30:19: Become one that was God's purpose in marriage and Jesus saying what
30:25: God has brought together Let not man separate they were saying any cause for anything
30:30: He says don't God created from the beginning in this way. Stop separating your marriages. We know where Jesus stood on the controversy
30:38: We know where he was at Now before we actually now unpack that what that means because we're gonna do it today you guys ready for it
30:45: We're gonna do it. We now want to show you something very important how you have to read the
30:50: Bible in context and if you have if we if any of us ever have a
30:56: Belief and a teaching that causes one person in the Bible to fight with the other one
31:03: We get to abandon that belief for teaching Right. It's important Now that was
31:09: Jesus Matthew 5 Matthew 19 to read the parallel if you want the passage to read the parallel passage to Matthew 19
31:16: It's Mark chapter 10 verses 1 through 10. You can just write that down, but I need you to see Paul now Now watch
31:22: Jesus said he said that this is God's purpose for everybody
31:29: That means unbelievers, too People say you can't hold on believers
31:35: To God's standards. They're not believers That is one of the most ignorant things
31:41: I have ever heard and you hear it a lot today You can't ask on believers to live like believers
31:47: Okay, so should we tell people not to steal? How about not to murder and they go
31:54: Oh, well, of course those why because that directly affects me and my kids, right?
31:59: What it shows you is you're being inconsistent taking what you want and leaving out what you don't want
32:06: Jesus says here that this is universal because he says Very clearly therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife the two shall become one flesh
32:16: So they are no longer two but one flesh what therefore God has joined together. Let not man separate This is for creation
32:25: Embedded in us and God holds everybody to that standard by the way One last thing if somebody says to me you can't ask on believers to live according to God's standards
32:34: Then my question is how do you preach the gospel to them? Because what's the first thing you say in the gospel?
32:41: Repent, what are you asking them to repent of if not their abandonment of God's standards?
32:47: Does that make sense? Okay, just needed to say that there I know it had really not a lot to do with the text there, but I need to say it
32:54: First Corinthians chapter 7 go there. This is the Apostle Paul dealing with the issue of divorce
33:02: First Corinthians chapter 7 Verse 1 now concerning the matters about what you wrote.
33:09: He's responding to what they wrote to him about It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman by the way, that is a very bad translation
33:18: But because of the temptation to sexual morality each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband
33:24: The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband
33:30: You guys are like For the wife does not have authority over her own body
33:35: But the husband does likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body But the wife does do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time
33:46: That you may devote yourselves to prayer But then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control
33:53: Now as a concession not a command. I say this I wish that all were as I myself am but each has his own gift from God one of one kind and one of another
34:02: To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am
34:07: But if they cannot exercise self -control, they should marry for it is better to marry than to burn with passion
34:17: Young Men and women who love Jesus should pay very close attention to that Both men by the way and women
34:24: I need to say this last week. I really got on the men Generally the men of this generation
34:30: Christian men of this generation are afraid of commitment They they they you know don't pursue a woman in the way
34:38: I think often they should and they remain single until them even maybe 40 years old and they don't work really hard To actually get married and so I really chastise the men
34:46: I need to also chastise really the women of our generation in America for being too afraid of commitment and That's often a problem you see but Paul very clearly says here
34:56: He says it's better to marry than to burn with passion to the married. I give this charge not
35:02: I but the Lord He's not saying this is really important. He's not saying this isn't a word from God He's saying
35:10: Jesus didn't talk about this Because he references the Lord's quotations in his letters not
35:17: I but the Lord The wife should not separate from her husband But if she does she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife
35:27: So the rest I say I not the Lord. That's that's what I meant to say. I not the Lord.
35:32: That's not him saying This is not important He says that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him
35:41: He should not divorce her if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her
35:47: She should not divorce him Let's pause for a second. This is big. How many times you guys heard somebody say they're not a believer
35:54: And so it's not a real marriage How many times have you heard? Christians say well
36:00: God commands me not to be in a relationship with an unbeliever. Don't be unequally yoked I'm unequally yoked.
36:06: Therefore I can get divorced. You know that is that's the same kind of lawyer finesse as the scribes and the
36:12: Pharisees Stop being a hypocrite God tells you if you're a
36:17: Christian married to an unbeliever Then God is sovereign over that you are not to divorce them because they're an unbeliever
36:23: Let me tell you how to solve that problem instantly Christians. Stop marrying unbelievers
36:32: Is that a word from God that's a specific word from God it's a command of God Do not as a believer become unequally yoked and get into a relationship with an unbeliever to get married now
36:44: You might say the pastor Jeff. I'm in this situation now. God can redeem it
36:49: It doesn't mean ever you stay married to the unbeliever and you win them to Christ.
36:55: That's the command now Here we go. Here it is verse 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband
37:06: Otherwise your children would be unclean but as it is they are holy but if the unbelieving partner separates
37:12: Let it be so in such cases. The brother or sister is not enslaved There it is the person leaves and Paul says very clearly if they separate if they abandon if they leave
37:31: You are no longer bound Enslaved it's the same terminology that has to do with manumission
37:39: When a slave was now free to go anywhere They want what is he saying if you are abandoned as a believer by by the spouse if you're abandoned
37:50: You are no longer enslaved because they abandoned you are now free to go anywhere you want meaning you are now free to what?
37:59: remarry Same terminology as a slave and manumission being freed from that bond free to go anywhere you want
38:09: Now watch this is important. Jesus says Unless it's for fornication
38:16: You commit adultery But Paul here has an example where you've got a person being left by somebody they abandon the covenant and Paul says
38:26: You're no longer and so you're no longer bound. You're free now To go anywhere you want you free now to remarry
38:33: Can I ask you a question? Was there any? physical intimacy in that situation adultery
38:41: Person was abandoned But Jesus says unless it's for fornication But Paul has an example where there's no fornication in the sexual immorality sense, but he says you're free
38:52: Now unless we're gonna have a glaring Contradiction We need to bring these together
39:00: Biblically and understand that both Jesus and Paul and the writers of the
39:05: Old Testament and New Testament understood that fornication is
39:11: Not simply a word or a term that refers simply to physical sexual union fornication has a broad
39:21: Reading in the scriptures and it refers to more than just physical intimacy and we're gonna go to What you should all have does everybody have the paper from Greg Bonson?
39:31: Yes If you don't have one don't leave today without getting this Because what you guys are gonna learn from this is gonna be very very helpful in terms of the details
39:40: Now let's go to the issue here if you go If you have
39:47: I'm just gonna read from it. So if you don't have it in front of you It's okay on the second page part two
39:52: Dr. Bonson, I'm gonna use a lot of this today quickly as I can Dr.
39:58: Bonson points to God's purpose and creation if you want to get to page two and D two you'll get to where I'm going
40:09: Okay. Now just quickly You see Jesus statement on divorce You see
40:14: Paul statement on divorce and you need to know that Exodus 21 10 through 11
40:19: Shows the divorce was permissible if you do not provide food shelter clothing and love
40:28: So what was that certificate of divorce Moses wrote about it was specific Exodus 21 10 through 11
40:34: There are more places but that's refer specifically to not giving food shelter clothing and love
40:42: Even physical intimacy But but dr. Bonson points out
40:49: About fornication And but indeed to is it permitted lawful for a man to divorce his wife according to every reason upon any grounds
41:03: Jesus says but I to you whoever divorces his wife not upon the ground of fornication and marries another commits a
41:11: Divorce which is not for Fornication thus leaving one and only one just ground for divorce fornication
41:20: Now number three, he says this is clear from Matthew 5 32 and he quotes the same thing
41:25: We just did everyone divorcing his wife apart from a matter of fornication. The Greek term means except for or outside Jesus spoke quite
41:35: Categorically any reason outside the category of fornication is a sinful basis of divorce for divorce
41:43: Fornication is the only exception to this censure against divorce Jesus was also speaking
41:49: Categorically in the sense that his principle was meant to be applied universally to all men He stated that everyone
41:56: Matthew 5 32 or whoever Matthew 19 9 divorces apart from the ground of fornication was doing wrong whether believer or unbeliever
42:05: Jew or Gentile So we get the point now it was for fornication in part 5 watch this
42:13: Although Paul deals in the particular case in 1st Corinthians 7, which was not directly addressed during Christ's earthly ministry to the rest
42:20: I say not the Lord it would be fallacious to assume that the general moral Principle which is applied to that case was contrary to the teaching of the
42:31: Lord Namely that only fornication is grounds for divorce in saying that Jesus did not give any hint of Restricting his moral principle as though he were speaking only for the case of believers
42:44: In fact, what he addressed was the problem of hard -heartedness those who are unregenerate rather He explicitly directed his principle to everyone and whoever
42:54: The scope of fornication and biblical usage is broader than adultery and even broader than illicit sexual intimacy
43:04: In Matthew 19 9 Christ clearly uses two distinct distinct Greek terms for fornication or adultery
43:11: They are not identical if fornication is not the reason for the divorce
43:17: He says adultery will be the consequence Now here's where I want you to get if you want to highlight stuff
43:23: It's on page 3 and it's number 2 right there. I want you guys to look right at this very closely in Scripture LXX there means the
43:31: Septuagint The Septuagint and the New Testament Fornication can refer specifically to sexual sins of all sorts whether premarital unchastity
43:42: Sex outside of marriage by a widow returning to a divorced spouse after an intervening
43:47: Union adultery prostitution incest homosexuality Marrying foreign wives or interreligious sexual union.
43:56: It should be noted that sexual sin Need not involve and you guys can read the rest there.
44:02: We'll skip it for the little ears today number four in Scripture fornication can also be used more generally for moral rebellion and unfaithfulness
44:14: When there is no figurative suggestion of intercourse as with idols for instance arrogance
44:20: Isaiah 47 Disbelieving God numbers 14 or departure from God's standards of righteousness
44:27: Isaiah 157 2nd Kings 9 fornication appears to be part of a description for all sins in Ezekiel 43 and Hosea 6 and Paul's epistles fornication is sometimes run together with uncleanness
44:44: Covetousness and idolatry as a way of covering all forms of immoral conduct
44:49: Ephesians 5 Colossians 3 1st Thessalonians 4 which explains why many translations render the
44:56: Greek word generally as impurity or immorality fornication covers all of the defilements and abominations represented by ungodly
45:06: Rome Revelation 17 as well as the teaching and idolatrous association of heresy in their church.
45:11: Whoa, that's a lot. Okay good Take that in I wanted to read all that so you can get the passages.
45:18: This is such a big subject I would do you as your brother in Christ and as your pastor.
45:23: I would do you a disservice and I would not be Connote sinful sexual union.
45:31: This is most clearly demonstrated by the fact that desertion of a marriage apart from any issue of adultery counts as fornication in biblical teaching
45:42: Quote it quote but if the unbelieving spouse separates him or herself Let him be separated in such cases the brother or sister do not remain bound 1st
45:51: Corinthians 7 yet on the authority of Christ. We may recognize only one just ground for divorce namely fornication therefore unless Paul be pitted against Christ the
46:02: Pauline permission of divorce for desertion must imply that desertion is a form of fornication in God's evaluation
46:10: Regardless of any accompanying issue of illicit sexual union. Okay, take a breath
46:20: So what's being said here Jesus said divorce only on one grounds, what is it?
46:28: Let's make sure you're all listening here, what is it? fornication divorce only on one ground fornication and yet in the law of God Divorce was permissible
46:43: Under certain circumstance where there was unfaithfulness food shelter clothing love
46:50: Divorce was permissible allowed and righteous The Apostle Paul says in 1st
46:56: Corinthians 7 that if somebody abandons their spouse They leave that that spouse that believer who's been abandoned now is free to divorce that person
47:10: So That is a form of fornication when somebody abandons the marriage
47:16: Fornication is a much broader thing than just simply physical union. That's important Next let's go to God's purpose in creation
47:26: Matthew 5 Sorry, Matthew 19. What does Jesus say?
47:32: God has you leave Cleave and Become one it's everybody's favorite part of their wedding day
47:44: You get the point leave cleave become one Now if you want to read
47:53: Bonson on this page 5 There are three aspects g1
48:00: Three aspects of the marriage covenant are explicitly mentioned when God originally ordained the institution Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother
48:08: They shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh These three aspects of the marriage covenant are not distinctive to one
48:14: Dispensation of God's dealing with men but are repeated throughout Scripture for instance in Matthew 19 and Ephesians 5
48:20: It may be that there are other integral aspects of the marriage covenant in addition to these three mentioned to legitimately assert
48:27: Them would require scriptural warrant of some sort in light of the vow to be one flesh
48:32: We can understand that sexual infidelity breaks the marriage covenant and is as such grounds for divorce
48:42: The expression to be one flesh denotes Sexual union thus being applied even to relations with a harlot
48:49: Part two one of the divine purposes for marriage is to provide the proper outlet for Humanity and how
48:57: God created us This is important, I need you guys to see this go to the next page page six
49:07: And this I want you guys to listen very closely to because this becomes a very difficult part of marriage
49:16: Refusal of intimacy is contrary to one of the very purposes for marriage
49:23: Then and ill it illegally subjects the marriage partner to fornication having a marriage not in substance, but only in name
49:33: This is important. What did Paul say in 1st Corinthians 7 married folks? What did he say? don't deprive ways that you can protect your marriage
49:46: Together as a couple is to not deprive one another That's important That's from the
49:53: Apostle Paul It's clearly there for your own protection in your marriage and I want to say something here to married couples.
49:59: This is very important So let me say this In a way that I think all of us should take a breath
50:05: Marriages have times of great great difficulty. Amen Come on now. That's like a yay men
50:13: Marriage is hard. It is hard. It's the hardest thing you will ever do marriage is hard when you first get married
50:19: You're like this is the greatest. I don't know why everyone complains about marriage so much. This is great. I got the perfect spouse We're like best friends.
50:25: We love each other. Look at us We're like and they're sick and then you know like being around newlyweds is so it's just hard Sometimes you're like wow like it's there.
50:32: You're gooey with each other, right? You're all over each other You're like, I don't know why everyone ever struggles and then you hear year six and In year six you have like a lot of difficulty year seven a lot of difficulty because now you realize
50:45: I'm with this person for rest of my life Right and all these little things that I thought didn't bother me before they're like the worst thing ever
50:53: Right, like I mean you pick pick your poison, right? You know what? I'm talking about these little things your spouse does that you're like That's the most awful thing like anybody has ever done to me, right like for me
51:03: It's like not putting the same thing in the same place every day, right for me Like I like to know where my toothbrush is
51:09: I like to know where my toothpaste is like to know where maybe my hair product is like to know where it's at But for my wife since we've been married
51:17: You can ask my kids this stuff is in different places every day Right, so like you'll have your cups in my house in one particular place
51:27: Right for like ever and all of a sudden you get up one morning and you open the cabinets and there's like shoes
51:36: And you're like now why would that be a good place for shoes? And then you go on this long look to figure out where the glasses at now
51:43: Where's the stuff or like you have your towels in a particular place for like ever and all of a sudden now you go to Get a towel one day and you're like, oh
51:51: Now we're gonna go on a treasure hunt and find out where the towels are That's a thing that I have learned as a husband.
51:57: You just have to accept about candy Durban It will never change now a year six.
52:02: I think I really thought I'm gonna change my wife and then I learned
52:08: That ain't gonna happen, right and I know I do things that really bother my wife
52:15: I don't need to mention any because that's just her opinion. Okay? Yeah But listen, here's the thing you fight and you have things that annoy and here's here's the point
52:30: Husbands have to focus on loving their wives and wives focusing on respecting their husbands and you have to recognize that you have sin as a husband and you have sin as a wife and You can't say as a
52:41: Christian who loves Jesus. I Am NOT going to be loving physically intimate with my spouse
52:48: I am NOT going to give in the marriage because they're sinning and they're bothering me Because when you stand before Jesus for reward or lack of reward, he does not say to you
52:58: Oh, I get it because them that's why you behave that way. I understand right? He doesn't say that He charges you for what your call was in your life
53:08: He says you were to respect your husband. You were to submit to your husband. You were to love your wife You were to love her as I love the church you were to treat her as the weaker vessel
53:19: You were to care for her and love her like your own body And what happens is is marriages get really difficult and we even are not even physically intimate with each other
53:28: Why because we're mad at each other and so we withhold from one another because we're angry with each other
53:35: Here's how you do this. Here's how you destroy a marriage you destroy a marriage in the greatest single way
53:41: When you refuse to be physically intimate with your spouse because leave cleave become one
53:51: So becoming one Physically together is a shouting marriage covenants
53:58: So when you say to your spouse, I'm so mad at you right now. I'm gonna hold this against you
54:03: I'm gonna give you the silent treatment. We're not gonna Marriage covenants Because the marriage covenant is part of its physical intimacy one of the greatest ways to shout your love for your spouse is
54:19: Even in the midst of difficulty in the relationship you reaffirm your covenant with them by being intimate with them
54:26: You are shouting about the covenant you've made before God and towards them One of the greatest ways to destroy your marriage is the silent treatment and not to touch one another
54:38: I don't know how we got there, but I need to say it. Okay Read through there about what it means to deny another person
54:47: Intimacy now freeze for a second because somebody's gonna take this and they're gonna go crazy with it They're gonna say okay
54:52: So if a person's being abusive and they're being mean and they don't take care of themselves The breath stinks and they're not shaved and they don't they haven't showered for days.
55:00: It's just that no Let me say listen husbands Take care of your bodies wives take care of your bodies if a person's being
55:08: Emotionally or physically abusive and in the relationship, of course that has to be addressed before there's any kind of physical intimacy
55:16: We're talking on a regular basis about how we live with one another God calls us to leave cleave and become one everyone got that Those are our commandments in the marriage covenant
55:30: Okay So the marriage covenants leave cleave become one flesh
55:38: I Want you to see on page 8 Bonson Number six,
55:47: I want you to read that the gravity of a man refusing to supply what is necessary for the physical life and protection of his wife has made evident by the
55:54: Stern words of Paul if anyone does not provide especially for his family He is worse than an unbeliever first Timothy 5 8
56:00: When one remembers the evaluation and destiny of unbelievers according to the theology of Paul These words have incredible intensity and severity
56:08: Someone who exposes his wife and family to physical harm by deprivation of their basic necessities is somehow in a worse
56:17: Moral condition or under greater condemnation than an unbeliever if this sin of omission brings someone set into such a dreadful
56:24: Evaluation one can imagine how much more positive abuse or sins of commission
56:29: Against the physical life and well -being of his wife and family would do so I'm going to read further
56:42: Number nine accordingly when a husband deprives his wife of nourishment physical covering and protection or more
56:48: When he actually beats her and threatens her life. He has done far more than fall short of an ideal mate
56:54: Like someone who lies to his wife or sins and other in other ways this kind of sin has a special intensity
57:00: He has violated an essential obligation or of the marriage covenant Refusing to adhere or cleave loyally to his wife's well -being in life
57:10: Number ten if in the other cases of covenanted obligations of marriage sexual fidelity living together
57:16: Violation of the terms of the covenant grants the offended party that moral right to seek dissolution of the legal bond
57:22: We should reason that it does so also in the case of the covenanted obligation of cleaving to each other to deny the implication without sound and biblical reasons for doing so would be to indulge in special pleading and preconceived notions a kind of arbitrariness which must not characterize
57:40: Christian theological Thinking The above conclusion is explicitly substantiated by the law of God at Exodus 21 10 through 11
57:52: Demonstrating that spousal abuse violates the marriage covenant and is such grounds for divorce
58:00: K1 God's law stipulates in the case of a slave who was taken as a wife Her husband shall not diminish her food her clothing and her conjugal rights
58:09: This refers to the obligations of the marriage covenant as we've seen above Her going out denotes an end of all legal obligation to him.
58:18: She has the right to dissolve the legal bond of marriage But she also has the right to dissolve the bond of her slavery thus leaving without money for manumit
58:29: To continue in relation to him as a neglected wife or slave Which is contrary to the aim of providing her with a resolution and redress of the situation
58:41: Number four and this is the last point Last point This is not merely a matter of inference of inference
58:48: God explicitly says this in his law Thereby informing us that these offenses strike at the heart of the marriage covenant and must be deemed fornication or indecency the only grounds for divorce
59:02: If God is satisfied that it is morally appropriate for a wife to divorce her husband on the basis of deprivation of her physical
59:09: Sustenance and protection we must be morally satisfied as well The suggestion that God tolerated this as evil in the old covenant but does not do so now is reasoning which is exegetically and logically faulty as well as theologically and ethically dangerous
59:29: So if you look at number three, here's the point That aspect of this provision in God's law which deals with deprivation of conjugal rights has already been discussed above it defrauds the marriage covenant to refuse sexual relations with one spouse what this portion of God's law also reveals is that likewise it defrauds the marriage covenant to deprive one's wife of her food and Clothing the nourishment and protection necessary to life.
59:52: Okay. Here's the point God gives you a basis for divorce The basis is fornication that is clearly in Scripture Not only a physical issue why first Corinthians 7
01:00:10: Paul says it's abandonment that's fornication Exodus chapter Exodus 21 verses 10 through 11 the cases there had to do with food clothing shelter and love
01:00:21: All those issues worthy of divorce certificate and called fornication Jesus narrows down The issue of divorce to it must be for the cause of fornication and that is a very broad
01:00:35: Biblical concept you say what's it look like? Exodus 21 First Corinthians 7 and all the other verses that I gave to you
01:00:45: Now I have to address this because it's important So, let's say you're in a tough marriage and you're a
01:00:54: Christian and she's a Christian or he's a Christian you're in a tough marriage You say oh we're fighting all the time.
01:01:01: We're having difficulty in our finances. We can't seem to get along We just we can't get along and so we're gonna go ahead and divorce for the good of the children.
01:01:10: I Would say if you divorce in that circumstance You will be guilty of adultery the rest of your life with the person that you remarry.
01:01:19: You are not in fact divorced in God's eyes If you were a
01:01:26: Christian and your spouse committed adultery against you actual adultery and Your spouse
01:01:34: Was unrepentant did not care and continued to act as a serial adulterer
01:01:42: Yes, you have the rights and biblical grounds to divorce that person and to remarry
01:01:49: You are not bound. You are not committing adultery However, if you are married and the person commits adultery and then repents
01:01:59: Demonstrates fruit of repentance as a broken heart and pleads for your forgiveness I would say you are under obligation by Jesus Christ to forgive your spouse as Hard as it may be.
01:02:10: Yes, God can redeem Marriages where there was infidelity. Yes, he can redeem them
01:02:16: I do believe that God calls you to work towards forgiveness and reconciliation However, it's not always a possibility and I recognize that sometimes you have a spouse that abandons you that abuses you a spouse that has committed adultery a spouse who is addicted to pornography and Will not stop will not show any fruit of repentance.
01:02:38: Do you have grounds biblical grounds in those cases? Divorce for the cause of fornication.
01:02:45: Yes, you do. Should you always take your opportunity to divorce as a believer? Absolutely not
01:02:51: Listen, we have to be committed to marriage in the same way that Jesus was and you might say that's very hard Well, guess what?
01:02:57: That's exactly the response of the site And what do we say when we see
01:03:07: Jesus on divorce we say man that's hard nothing's changed But what does it mean as a believer to follow
01:03:13: Jesus as you're coming to him as the Lord of your life as your Savior As your God as your King if you're a
01:03:19: Christian you're saying to Jesus you get to tell me what to do. Amen Now if somebody says
01:03:25: I don't care what Jesus says I hate my spouse. I hate him. I don't want to forgive him I don't want to live with him.
01:03:30: I would say this you're showing who's the unregenerate one If you say
01:03:35: I don't want to try I don't care about God's standards. I want to do what I want I would say I'm thinking
01:03:41: I need to preach the gospel to you If you come to me as a minister and you say my marriage is broken we're hurting
01:03:49: I'm gonna give you all my heart all my sympathy all my time. I'm gonna give you everything But I'm not gonna tell you
01:03:57: Yeah, you should go ahead and do what's easy in divorce I'm gonna tell you to take the hard road of forgiveness and mercy and Keeping your marriage together and I am gonna tell you as a minister as a pastor if you're in a difficult marriage
01:04:09: Situation and you come together. You're not gonna talk about your spouse with me First I'm gonna say where are your sins?
01:04:17: Where are your sins? How are you sinning against God and your spouse? How are you sinning against your God and spouse and then we'll after we figure all that out after we do personal confession
01:04:26: Then then we'll start talking about the other person After first we confessed our own sins marriage is
01:04:34: Something that God has instituted and God hates divorce. Can we just say that God hates divorce? God hates divorce.
01:04:41: You should hate it, too I should hate it too, and you might say to me pastor Jeff. There's no way there's no way my marriage can be redeemed
01:04:48: There's no way it can be fixed. Let me tell you right now God can redeem any marriage and if you say even from adultery they committed adultery against me
01:04:57: I would say talk to me and my wife Because that's my life So when you say to me
01:05:04: God can't redeem a marriage where there's adultery I'm gonna say if you've enjoyed my teaching as a pastor, you're looking at a an adulterer
01:05:14: God has redeemed my life many many years ago from being an adulterer He's redeemed my marriage from adultery.
01:05:21: And so if you say to me, it's too hard and it can't be done. I would say Take a look at God's redemption
01:05:30: Take a look at God's forgiveness. Is it something that God can wash and Cleanse and heal and redeem
01:05:39: It's a is there something in your life? Is this something in your life that God can never really get behind you and turn you away from?
01:05:47: Jesus is a much better Savior than any of us are sinners That's the truth
01:05:54: That's the absolute truth. And so I for one Believe with all of my heart that God is able to redeem any marriage
01:06:04: You might be thinking this teaching I've given today is really hard You might be saying those are some pretty narrow standards seems really strict
01:06:13: You might be thinking it's really really hard. I want to encourage you to hear something.
01:06:18: It's coming from a person Who not only is guilty Guilty of the actual cause of divorce in my own marriage
01:06:31: Many many years ago. I'm not the same person today, but I'm guilty of it It's come from a pastor in a marriage where my wife and I struggled tremendously.
01:06:42: I Think in a second or third year of our marriage. We were at the courthouse with divorce papers. I Think at least three times two times
01:06:52: My wife and I have had divorce papers. I Abandoned her for days at a time to go use drugs.
01:06:59: I Abandoned my family. I destroyed our finances. I didn't care for them. I wasn't a good man to my family
01:07:06: I'm guilty of every imaginable sin in my marriage Let's have a good marriage.
01:07:13: We had a pretty difficult marriage. We've had arguments we've had screaming matches and then
01:07:20: God got a hold of both of us and Showed us both our own sin against each other
01:07:28: God Showed us how we're both Guilty in our marriage and when
01:07:33: God broke and humbled us both And we're both committed to actually submitting to Jesus Christ in our marriage and confessing personal sin our marriage actually changed for good and So when you hear a minister of the gospel give you the teaching on marriage from the scriptures and you think well
01:07:54: That's really hard. That's really difficult. I don't know if I buy it I want you to know the reason I have so much. Hope is not only that God commands it, but I have it in my own life
01:08:03: How many of you guys have come from difficult relationships and broken marriages? How many of you guys have had
01:08:09: God change your life and your heart and change your marriage and redeem at all? My great desire in giving this message to you as a church
01:08:23: Was to not only hopefully faithfully unpack the scriptures here My great desire was to honor
01:08:30: God in it because here's what I know When you have a church for the people who are all sinners saved by God's grace
01:08:39: You will have a church of people who will have difficulties in their marriage And so I do know this
01:08:46: Moving forward as a body of Christ together. I know this News flash you will fight with your spouse.
01:08:58: I Know that we're gonna have difficulties in our marriage, but here's what's not going to be accepted by us as a body divorce for any cause
01:09:10: If as a church Or in our church if you have difficulty in your marriage and you abandon your marriage our whole church will call you to repentance
01:09:21: Together we will be understanding. We will be loving we will be merciful we will be sympathetic but we will call you to repent and to return to your spouse and to come together and allow
01:09:31: Jesus Christ to redeem your marriage as A church we will support one another but we will not accept divorce for any cause.
01:09:40: I will say this as A church the leadership of this church is committed to this
01:09:46: This is a church discipline issue If you divorce your spouse for any cause and you just leave and abandon that will be an issue of church discipline
01:09:54: We see it as such But we are here for you as a church to support you and to love you
01:10:00: Let me just let me encourage you with this if you're having difficulty in your marriage Then you ought to get help and support and encouragement
01:10:09: One of the worst things you can do if you have difficulty in your marriage is to keep it hidden to keep it silent and to Tell nobody you ought to talk to one another first and foremost
01:10:18: And if it can't be resolved with one another You ought to go to somebody else to have them speak into your life and into your marriage if you can't settle it together
01:10:26: The worst thing to do is if you're having difficulties to say nothing but the starting point of all remedies in marriage is personal confession of sin
01:10:39: So if you're struggling in your marriage right now, maybe you're on the cusp of divorce You've actually been talking about it
01:10:44: You've thought about it and what marriage hasn't had those difficulties if you're there now
01:10:49: The first thing I would say to you as your brother as a pastor is the first thing you do is repent of your sin Confess your sin first and foremost
01:10:59: Submit yourself to Christ and ask God to change your heart and then come to your spouse and ask them
01:11:04: How am I sinning against you? Well, that's hard, isn't it? When you're in a fight, what's the last thing you want to do ask?
01:11:11: How am I sinning against you? Go ahead and tell me so I can repent and confess
01:11:16: But that really ought to be our pattern right is to find out how I'm sinning and how I need to confess my sin
01:11:22: I guarantee you watch if you guys are going this way away from one another if you both start confessing personal sin to one another
01:11:28: And asking how you're failing in them come back together again But when you're stubborn and prideful in your marriage and you say well, it's because you if you would stop doing this
01:11:41: If you would stop doing that then I would come together and do my role You will only move away from one another for good.
01:11:48: So the husband's role is to what his wife Love his wife. The wife's role is to what?
01:11:54: Respect your husband. You cannot say I'll start respecting him when he deserves it That's sin and you cannot say
01:12:02: I'll love you when you start being lovable Jesus gives you a command love your wife respect your husband you start doing that it's gonna get awesome
01:12:12: It's gonna get awesome you want to have great intimacy in your marriage love your wife
01:12:18: Respect your husband Go do that brothers and sisters Amen by the way your
01:12:31: Marriage was one of my favorites That was one of my favorites to do how you came out was just amazing.
01:12:38: I just want to say that it was beautiful Brothers and sisters, let me encourage you guys to read through this paper on divorce by Greg Bonson.
01:12:51: I Know that I ran long on these two messages It was important to do so because there's a lot to pack in here.
01:12:57: This is such a big discussion such an important discussion I wanted to make sure I handled it faithfully and I made
01:13:02: I gave you as much as possible But I want to encourage you with this single people who are not married Read this paper on divorce get into this paper
01:13:10: Get into the text of Scripture so that when you go into marriage, you're armed Knowing your responsibilities
01:13:18: Married couples read this paper together. So you understand your role and responsibility in marriage and then as a church
01:13:26: Let's come around everybody in this church That has been hurting from a divorce
01:13:34: Let's be loving. Let's be gracious. Let's be supportive. Let's lift one another up and let's trust
01:13:40: The God of hope who can redeem all things. Amen Let's pray father.
01:13:46: I want to pray that you'd bless The message that went out today. God is pray that you would prepare our hearts to receive
01:13:52: Truth, I pray Lord if anyone in this room right now is struggling in a difficult marriage. I Pray that you would
01:14:00: Touch their heart and their minds with peace Knowing God that you love them
01:14:08: If they are your children Lord you are committed to them I just pray that you would protect their hearts and minds
01:14:13: I Pray that you do not allow them to become Angry and full of bitterness and I pray
01:14:20: God that you'd redeem our marriages heal them bring humility and confession and mercy
01:14:29: For those of us that have come Through a divorce I Just pray
01:14:34: God that you would lift us up to a place where we have hope again. I Pray Lord that you would free us from again anger and bitterness
01:14:44: I Pray that as a church who had honor you and glorify you with how we handle marriage and divorce in Jesus name
01:14:52: Amen speaking of marriage the table