Is Divorce a Sin? - Jeff Durbin of Apologia Church (Part 2)

Matthew 5 and the Sermon on the Mount

You can open your Bibles to Matthew chapter 5 the gospel according to Matthew first book of your New Testament if you're new to the five Most famous sermon in the history of the world the Sermon on the Mount right and so we've been in for quite some time.

We're in a series called the kingdom of God the term that Matthew uses in The gospel according to Matthew is the kingdom of heaven but kingdom of God and kingdom of heaven are synonymous it's a synonymous term and title and so we're right now in the Sermon on the Mount and Jesus now has already given to us the beatitudes.

That's he pronounces divine happiness upon God's children he gives us the blessings blessed of those who are persecuted. Blessed are the poor blessed are the meek. And Jesus then gives us this this commission is charged.

You're the salt of the world. You're the light of the world. You're the city set on a hill. And then Jesus tells us his view on the law of God. He says that he doesn't want anybody to even begin to think that he's come to abrogate it to destroy it he's come to Fulfill it and then he says that whoever does these things and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven and if anybody teaches others to Relax even the least of one of his commandments to be called least in the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus then begins in the Sermon on the Mount to actually address the common Arguments of the day the common themes of the day. So it was on the newspaper of the day Jesus begins to address really their mishandling of the law of God and the Word of God and you begin to see How does God feel about his law?

Single time. But we're now in Matthew chapter 5 after Jesus talks about Adultery, he talks about lust. He tells people that you must be willing to cut out or sorry Pluck out your eye and to cut off your hands.

He then says in Matthew 5.

31.

Hear now the word of the Living God. It was also said whoever divorces his wife Let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of in the word there is fornication Makes her commit adultery a different word and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Prayer for Wisdom and Faithfulness

Let's pray father. I want to pray That you'd bless us now as your people as we come before your word. God help me as a teacher help me Lord to teach your word in a way that brings you glory. I pray God that you by your spirit would speak through me to your people that you would God Wake us up that you would open our eyes open our ears To your truth that you would correct us God and you give us hearts that are humble to receive that correction.

And I pray God that you would firm us up in our commitments to all of your word today. God guard my lips and my mind from error as I teach your people. I pray God that you would help us as a church to know you intimately and to know your word and to love it.

Help us to understand your word God and Lord. I pray that we would out you would allow us as a church to Get the message of your word and truth out to the world in Jesus name. Amen. All right, so this is big right Jesus says.

And it's hard it's a hard teaching. It was also said whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce. So Jesus actually at this point is referring to Moses. He is referring to Moses.

The Mosaic law actually gave permission to have a divorce on certain grounds. But he says in the context of people who had the most popular version of divorce the Hillelites the divorce for any cause he says that is unless it is on the grounds of fornication.

You make someone commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. So this is a big deal. It's a big deal. Now it's been popular in our day our current culture to say that even Christian marriages one out of every two 50 of all Christian marriages end in divorce in the last year that has been debunked and shown to be A completely false statistic.

It is not true that one out of every two Christian marriages end in divorce. I'm not saying of course that divorce isn't a problem within the church. I'm saying that it is not true that our numbers are as bad as the world.

But that's a discussion for another day. This is an important discussion to have though because divorce is a big problem within the church. And I think there are two important failures we have today in the modern Evangelical church, I think of the church in the West has two important failures.

I said them to you last week if you remember I said the first is is that we don't we act like we don't even.

The Church’s Failure to Take Divorce Seriously

Care.

To begin with. So you might have a context where you have a very very large church you attend this church for many many years and maybe you have had two or three divorces and maybe one or two of those divorces was on illegitimate grounds and It seems as though in the modern evangelical church.

We don't even care. We say something like well Jesus died for sinners. And he forgives us of our sin and divorce is not the unpardonable sin and so therefore we should just really be able to say well.

Divorce is just something we'll put over to the side and if you have an illegitimate divorce really it's no big deal because Jesus can Forgive you right imagine the person who goes out and steals all the time or commits adultery all the time.

And they were to say to you well Jesus is a mighty Savior, and he's greater than my sin. What would you what would you have words for that person? What would you say to them right you think you need to repent in a hurry because Jesus says if you love me Church in the West and that's that we treat divorce like it's no big deal.

We don't confront people who divorce on illegitimate grounds. We don't tell people no you can't divorce your spouse. You need to submit to God you need to confess your own sin before God and you need to work to restore your marriage.

We don't say it as often as we should we treat it like well. It's really no big deal and and and the consequences of that the consequences of treating divorce in a way that God does not teach us to the.

Consequences are single moms single dads broken homes kids without fathers. And we have children across the nation with father. Hunger kids that are hungry for a dad, and they don't have one because their families are broken up without proper cause.

So first we have a failure in the Christian Church, and that we're very lax about divorce. But a second failure we have in the Christian Church and my estimation my humble observation. Here is that we also have a failure in that we go to the text here in Matthew chapter 5.

And we act like this is a text that exists all by itself. And we act like it's said without no context no historical context. No biblical context and we take Jesus words, and we rip it out of context.

We create a proof text and we use that proof text to abuse lots and lots of people. I can tell you that I've heard ministers of the gospel again. I know well intentioned and well meaning. I've heard ministers of the gospel go to a text like this they isolate it.

They take it. I think out of context and they use it in a context where a woman is being abused. Maybe she's being beaten. She's being neglected. The husband has abandoned the Covenant and the minister says well.

Has he committed adultery. Has he had any sexual immorality and the woman says well? No, but he gives me a black eye twice a week and the minister says well. It's not actual sexual immorality or fornication and so therefore there's no cause for divorce.

And.

I think there have been many many many women and men who have been abused by the pulpit. Because we do not read God's Word in its context. And I think we need to do that if we love one another and we love God who will handle God's Word.

Rightly amen and so let's go to the text first and foremost. I laid down foundations last week if you missed last week's sermon I'm going to encourage you to go over to YouTube Apology of studios watch the sermon in full and then get this one as well, but if you missed last week I am going to lay down some foundations once again.

So we know how to rightly handle the Word of God here first and foremost we have to ask this question about Jesus and the law. Jesus and the law how did he feel? How do you feel about the law of God. Because this is a big one because if you believe that Jesus comes and then he takes The law of God, and he actually actually takes it and he abandons it for some new way.

And he says this is no longer valid. It's no longer abiding. We no longer touch it or handle it. It's now done that I'm here if you feel that way. Then you'll go to Matthew chapter 5 in these discussions on the law and you'll sort of morph Jesus and his statements.

Into saying something that it's not like Jesus is somehow subverting the law of God. He's not brothers and sisters. Matthew 5 17 through 19 should be the overriding principle you have for all of Matthew 5.

Matthew 5 17 Jesus says me namaste in the Greek which means do not think. He doesn't tell them to stop thinking they were thinking it and you need to stop. He actually says something stronger me namaste means don't even begin to think don't let it enter into your mind.

That I have come to destroy the law or the prophets. I have not come to destroy them, but to fulfill them now if you want to know what that means I suggest you go to our. It's awesome. I have a technology today, right?

I don't need to give sermons over and over and over again, right. Matthew 5 we touch Matthew 5 17. We unpacked it to show what that means. Jesus did not come to do away with the law of God as though it were a bad thing.

He comes to put it into its perfect place. God's intended meaning for the law. He actually puts it into place and establishes it in its true way. Fulfills it and he tells people it's amazing thing. He tells.

But what's the most popular view about Jesus in the law today people say what? Oh, that was the Old Testament. We got Jesus now, right? I told you a story I was at the abortion clinic and we had a sign that said God hates the hands that shed innocent blood and the woman that was there was professing faith in Jesus and she said God doesn't hate.

And I said you're gonna have a real hard time with that. I encourage you just to Google what God hates. Okay, that's how you handle a millennial today. Just Google it. It's right. God does hate lots of things, right?

He hates the hands that shed innocent blood, but this woman says to me who says she believes in Jesus. She says that was the Old Testament. We're Christians now. We have Jesus. Let me just say this. Jesus is the God of the Old Testament and The law of God is law that came are you ready from Jesus?

You don't have two different gods. God of the Old Testament. That was really wrathful. He just loves the law. He's just really a big meanie and. And what we've done now like Douglas Wilson said in my interviewed with him and we've adjusted his meds between testaments, right?

And now he's really really soft and nice and now we have Jesus and he's all about love and grace. No, actually the Messiah's kingdom was to come into the world and bring salvation and the knowledge of God to the ends of the earth.

He was going to regenerate people save them from their sins put his spirit within them and his.

Law.

Internalized within them. So now under the new covenant as redeemed people. The law of God is something we love. It's in us within us. We love God's law and we want to obey God now from the hearts the law of God.

So Jesus and the law Jesus says don't think he came to destroy the law of the prophets now watch. This is a big one. Hang on to this. It's massive. It changes everything in terms of how you see Jesus now addressing the Mosaic Code.

Jesus said don't even begin to think I've come to destroy it and within a few breaths a few breaths. He says it was also said whoever divorces his wife. Let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of sexual immorality makes her commit adultery.

Now if you think if you and I think that Jesus now is going to the Mosaic Code and Saying I know that it says that but not anymore. We're gonna do away with that. Then you have Jesus within a space of a few breaths talking out of both sides of his mouth.

On the one side Jesus is saying don't even begin to think I've come to do that and on the other side He says now I'm coming to do that. Any interpretation that makes Jesus go to war with Jesus ought to be rejected.

Amen. So when Jesus is addressing his current day and their theology and their interpretations of the law. We have to handle it in a way that does not make Jesus the Lord of glory. God in the flesh. Look like he's contradicting himself.

So what do we have here? Are there changes in the law of God, of course, but God defines those changes. I told you guys last week Do we still have a temple? Yeah, but now it's a temple eternal in the heavens that can never be destroyed.

Do we still have a high priest? Yes, we have a high priest who will never die and doesn't have any sin who intercedes for us forever. Do we have a Passover? Yes, Christ is according to Paul our Passover and you begin to see that all the law of God does relate to today, but it relates in its fulfilled sense.

You begin to see that the law of God or New Testament is always assumed. Except where there has been a change, but that change is addressed under divine inspiration so as an example you have The Old Testament it says don't muzzle your ox while it treads and most of you are thinking well.

That's certainly an ox is not a law that actually applies today. Except where the Apostle Paul does apply it and he says about churches who are to care for their ministers. So they don't die while they're working.

He says don't you know, you're not supposed to muzzle the ox while it treads and how does he apply it to the ministers who are? Working vocationally around the clock to care for you. He says don't muzzle the ox while it treads.

Your pastors are gonna die. Make sure you take care of them. That's how he applies it right and the law of God is handled in that way but also there are changes that are actually lined up and Spelled out Ephesians chapter 2 the Holiness Code.

Shellfish.

Bacon, thank God are allowed today and Together they marry. Well right. Really anything with bacon marries. Well, amen. Okay, so the Holiness Code specifically pointed to the holiness of Jesus and the separateness of God's people but those specific codes aren't done in the same way anymore because those boundary markers that separated Jew from Gentile are obliterated in their New Covenant because Abraham has descendants as numerous as the stars that include Jew and Gentile and those things that divided us before are now done away with.

However, does that mean the Holiness Code was stupid? It meant something Significant and it means something significant to us today. Here's the point the New Testament Has the right. God has the right in the New Testament to define for us what changes are in the law of God.

It's always assumed the law of God is the standard and I want to ask you this. Have you considered the Apostle Paul's words in Romans 3 31 After he talks about justification by faith alone in Christ alone apart from any work of law and in Romans 3 28 He says therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith apart from works of law.

He says in Romans 3 31. Do we then make void the law through faith? The answer is no he says actually we establish the law. We don't void the law of God because we're justified by faith. Now we establish it now that we have it all out of the way.

Jesus, the Law, and the Meaning of Divorce

Let's talk About what Jesus was doing in Matthew 5 briefly. I'll give you guys the touch again first. Does Jesus change the law of God of lust and adultery? What's he say in Matthew chapter 5 he addresses this specifically in verse 27.

You've heard that it was said you should not commit adultery, but I say to you Everyone who looks at a woman with lust in his heart has already committed adultery. Is Jesus. Listen, this is big because some people think Jesus is doing it is Jesus Changing the law of God.

He is clarifying the law of God. He is actually showing you what the law of God is meaning and He says this. It's like this. It's not just the act itself if you look with lust. Lustful intention in your heart.

You've committed adultery. Guess what adultery was against God's law in the heart in the Old Testament, too, but they had through lawyer finesse Twisted the law of God to mean it just means the act of actual sexual morality.

It's the actual acting and now I can do it in my heart. God's not concerned with that except for the fact that God says you were to love him with your heart.

Soul.

Mind and strength. Jesus isn't changing the law of God. He's showing you God's Intention the true meaning of the law. Next murder is Jesus changing the law of God when he tells them you shall not murder.

But I say to you and now he addresses the anger in their hearts. Is he changing the law of God? Absolutely not because the anger in your heart was against God's law in Leviticus 19 17 God had condemned it there as well.

Next point verse 38 538 Jesus says you have heard that it was said an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I say to you do not resist the one evil now. This is big watch because I think one of the most common verses people use.

Passage right here this verse. They'll say hey the Old Testament was I for I tooth for tooth, but God says no now you you turn the other cheek. Well, what you have to do is read the passage Exodus 21 24 I for I tooth for tooth burn for burn life for life.

Listen was about justice in the court system. Now grab that for a second because it is big. The passage Jesus quotes from I for I tooth for tooth was specifically about in the context if a pregnant woman becomes a victim of people's negligence and She loses her baby and it dies.

The judicial law is this life for life. I for I tooth for tooth. But yet Jesus in this context in the day actually does something he says you've heard that it said I for I tooth for tooth but I say Do not resist the one who is evil, but if anyone slaps you on the right cheek turn to him the other.

What's what did he do is? Jesus mishandling the scriptures. Because in this passage Jesus actually is talking about personal vengeance.

But.

Exodus was about the courts and justice two different things. Because in Jesus day, they were handling the law in such a way where they were actually saying this Hey, it says I for I tooth for tooth. I'm gonna get you.

I For I tooth for tooth did not apply to the private individual to go out and just start seeking personal vengeance. If you are personally offended you don't have a right to take God's Word and say I for I tooth for tooth I'm gonna get you.

As a matter of fact God's law specifically condemns When a person tries to take the law into their own hands to get personal vengeance, that's not my job. It's not my job. It's a job of the God-ordained institution of Government.

But yet Jesus here says if somebody smacks you on your right cheek turn to them the other. How do you smack somebody on the right cheek with your right hands? It's a backhanded slap and he says this to you.

You've heard this said I for I tooth for tooth but I say Don't resist an evil person if they smack you on your right cheek turn the other if they give you the backhanded slap if they.

Tell you if.

They give you the backhanded slap if they're Cavalier and they're abusive towards you. Jesus says turn the other cheek. Don't retaliate. Don't say I for I tooth for tooth. It's important because people have actually taken that passage.

How many times we heard this Christian pacifists. They say Christians. No, no, no. No, we shouldn't do self-defense. Why. Well because Jesus says I for I tooth for tooth, but I say turn the other cheek.

God doesn't want you to do self-defense. Just take a beating for Jesus. The only problem with that is that God's law specifically tells you that Yes, you can defend yourself and an example as if a thief breaks into your house at night.

You're even allowed to kill that person out of self-defense and you're not guilty of murder. Jesus isn't subverting the law of God's an important thing to note that Jesus is not destroying the law of God.

Now what you need to get here is that you get to the text Matthew 5 with all the underneath you guys. That's a review from last week. Matthew chapter 5 31. Jesus says it was also said whoever divorces his wife Let him give her a certificate of divorce.

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of fornication. Makes her commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. This is very important. Get this there were two schools of thought.

Major schools of thought in Jesus day. There was a school of Shammai and the school of Hillel. The school of a rabbi named Shammai and a school of Hillel the Shammai ite's in the heights. The most popular divorce of Jesus day was what?

Remember from last week Force for any cause and it was the Hillelite Divorce. They had said this watch. Watch how people handle God's Word. Moses says you just need to give a certificate of divorce. So now as long as you have a certificate of divorce.

You're obeying the law of God because Moses says you can do it. And so what they did is divorce for any cause. So you literally had guys Divorcing their wives because they weren't good-looking anymore.

You had them divorcing their wives because they didn't cook. Well, and you had any cause just certificate of divorce. But the other school was Shammai, and it was the more conservative view that said you had to have specific Biblical grounds for divorce you couldn't just do any cause so watch Jesus is Exactly addressing the controversy of his day.

The.

Controversy of his day was between two schools Hillelite and Shammai ites and Jesus is showing that he's on the side the conservative side. The lawful side that says only if you have proper biblical grounds.

Now this is really important in terms of showing you guys how important context is now watch if you take the whole Bible together. You don't really need the historical background. I don't need to tell you there were the Hillelites and Shammai ites for you to properly interpret Scripture.

Because if you read the law of God with Jesus and Paul you get the proper picture. It's just helpful isn't it to know there were guys named Shammai ites and Hillelites and to know what they believe. Because then you can actually fill in the details.

Let me give you an example of how important it is to know context. Let me ask you guys a question. You guys ready. I'm gonna ask you to answer out loud, okay? Is it lawful For a 15 year old to drink. May I ask it again is it lawful for a 15 year old to drink.

So you got it. You see what happened. I asked it right away. I said is it lawful for a 15 year old to drink. Your immediate response. No, why. Because you got to be 21. Right. 21. What'd you do I? Said is it lawful for a 15 year old to drink.

And you filled in your cultural context and background. You immediately filled in. Oh Alcohol. No you got to be 21, but let me ask it again. Is it lawful for a 15 year old to drink? Yes, or you'll die.

Right. So doesn't. Cultural context and background. Help in the discussion. Yes, so for that you've read Matthew 5. Let's stay in the same book. Go to Matthew 19. Matthew 19 now. You'll begin to see it in the same way here.

But a little fuller in context now when Jesus had finished these sayings he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea. Beyond the Jordan. Pause. I said this last week that is significance.

A Lot of what you read in Scripture is polemics arguments about specific things and. So in Romans the Apostle Paul isn't just laying the gospel out. He's actually responding to arguments to his position.

You see it in the text and in Matthew's day. There's a certain situation something happened in this region with a guy named Herod. And there was also a conflict between another well-known prophet. His name was John the.

What? John the Baptist. Imagine him outside condemning Herod for the marriage to Herodias. Right. And he was saying it is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife. Remember that? That was a controversy and it cost John the Baptist.

His head.

Now Matthew announces and Matthew goes into the same area of the controversy. About marriage and divorce. Now John lost his head. Jesus now watch it says verse 2 and large crowds followed him and he healed them there.

And Pharisees came up to him. And what? They were testing him in. The place of the controversy they're now testing him. By asking is it lawful to divorce one's wife. For what? For what for any cause there it is.

There is the controversy between the Hillelites. Any cause divorce Jesus. Can we do it for any reason? And what does Jesus say? He goes back to creation. He answered have you not read that he who created them from the beginning male made them male and female.

Hey, that's part of our catechism. We're straight biblical an apology of church.

Okay.

And said therefore man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become One flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together.

Let not man separate they said to him. Why then did Moses command one to give her certificate of divorce and to send her away? See any cause. And Jesus says don't destroy what God has brought together.

And they're like, but what about the certificate of divorce? Right. How could we said you can do that? And so Jesus says he's addressing the controversy. He said to them because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives.

But from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for fornication and Marries another commits adultery. So you have to have the cause of fornication. So Jesus is saying it has to be on biblical grounds fornication not for any cause.

God's purpose in creation. He makes a man and a woman. Not a man and a man. Not a woman and a woman. Not a man and a woman and a woman and a woman and a woman. You get me he makes a man and a woman. And he says he created them from the beginning.

Male and female they were to.

Leave.

Father and mother they were to cleave together and become one flesh. Right leave.

Cleave.

Become one that was God's purpose in marriage and Jesus saying what God has brought together. Let not man separate. They were saying any cause for anything. He says don't God created from the beginning in this way stop separating your marriages.

We know where Jesus stood on the controversy. We know where he was at. Now before we actually now unpack that what that means because we're gonna do it today you guys ready for it. We're gonna do it. We now want to show you something very important how you have to read the Bible in context and if you have if we if any of us ever have a Belief and a teaching that causes one person in the Bible to fight with the other one.

We get to abandon that belief for teaching. Right. It's important. Now that was Jesus Matthew 5. Matthew 19 to read the parallel if you want the passage to read the parallel passage to Matthew 19. It's Mark chapter 10 verses 1 through 10.

You can just write that down, but I need you to see Paul now. Now watch. Jesus said he said that this is God's purpose for everybody. That means unbelievers, too. People say you can't hold on believers.

To God's standards. They're not believers. That is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard and you hear it a lot today. You can't ask on believers to live like believers. Okay, so should we tell people not to steal?

How about not to murder and they go, oh, well, of course those why because that directly affects me and my kids. Right what it shows you as you're being inconsistent taking what you want and leaving out what you don't want.

Jesus says here that this is universal because he says. Very clearly therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. The two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh.

Therefore God is joined together. Let not man. This is for creation. Embedded in us and God holds everybody to that standard by the way. One last thing if somebody says to me you can't ask unbelievers to live according to God's standards.

Then my question is how do you preach the gospel to them? Because what's the first thing you say in the gospel? Repent, what are you asking them to repent of if not their abandonment of God's standards?

Does that make sense? Okay, just needed to say that there I know it had really not a lot to do with the text there, but I need to say it. 1st Corinthians chapter 7. Go there. This is the Apostle Paul dealing with the issue of divorce.

1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse 1. Now concerning the matters about what you wrote. He's responding to what they wrote to him about it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. By the way, that is a very bad translation.

But because of the temptation to sexual morality each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband.

You guys are like. For the wife does not have authority over her own body. But the husband does likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body. But the wife does do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time.

That you may devote yourselves to prayer. But then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now as a concession not a command. I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am but each has his own gift from God one of one kind and one of another.

To the unmarried and the widows. I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Young men and women who love Jesus should pay very close attention to that. Both men by the way and women I need to say this last week. I really got on the men. Generally the men of this generation. Christian men of this generation are afraid of commitments.

They they they you know.

Don't pursue a woman in the way I think often they should and they remain single until them even maybe 40 years old and they don't work really hard. To actually get married and so I really chastise the men.

I need to also chastise really the women of our generation in America for being too afraid of commitment and That's often a problem you see but Paul very clearly says here. He says it's better to marry than to burn with passion to the married.

I give this charge not I but the Lord. He's not saying this is really important. He's not saying this isn't a word from God. He's saying Jesus didn't talk about this. Because he references the Lord's quotations in his letters not I but the Lord.

The wife should not separate from her husband. But if she does she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife. So the rest I say I not the Lord.