Growing Kids God's Way - The Dad Families Need - [Deuteronomy 6:1-9]

Well, good morning, it is good to be back with you all and I appreciate his kind words. Tragically, I have had to make phone calls like that and It's amazing again as we were talking about last night afterwards I was talking to a couple of men and one of the ladies and I said, you know the bottom line.

Sin makes you stupid. Just makes you stupid. You do things that no one would do and they're right same mind and It just has that overpowering effect and tragically I've seen men who for a number of years walked wonderfully with the Lord and God used them in a powerful way and and all of a sudden I begin to hear things and I Make a phone call and I actually have them say things to me like well, I I know what I'm doing is wrong.

But I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway, because I think it'll make me happy and Without exception it didn't make them happy. Again the deceptive nature of sin. So I would also say I would have never received a phone call like that from you either and I know you love me enough.

That you would do that and I appreciate that. Those are good friends. Those are good friends. Take your Bible and join me in the book of Deuteronomy chapter 6. Deuteronomy chapter 6 growing kids God's way now again my goal this morning.

Let me go ahead and tell you my first session and my last session are the longest a lot of material packed in to Deuteronomy 6. And Psalm 128 not as much in Psalm 127, so I don't mind giving you a map of where we're going.

We'll go for probably right at an hour take our break have really a fairly short session. Maybe 25 minutes or so takes one more break and then have our last session. We'll still be through On time if not a few minutes earlier, so just know where we're going.

But this particular passage this morning is so foundational. To our understanding what it means to have a godly family. It is necessary for us to spend a little bit more time here. The context is important this is the second giving of the law as the nation of Israel that Hebrew children are about to enter into the land and In chapter 5 you just had the second giving of the Ten Commandments.

And so immediately following the giving of the Ten Commandments. You have what is called the heart of the Hebrew faith the Shema in. It's in Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 4. And so I think it's very instructive that following the Ten Commandments.

Here comes basically the John 3 16 of the Old Testament the heart of their faith and you also then find very precise instruction as to what it is that they have to do if they're going to indeed be a Healthy nation as they move in and occupy the land that God has given them.

And so in chapter 6 verse 1 here the words of Moses now, this is the commandment. The statutes and the rules that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you. That you may do them in the land in which you are going over to possess it.

That you may fear the Lord your God now watch you and your son and your Son's son so three generations the sons. The children the grandchildren all are involved here by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I Command you all the days of your life and that your days may be Long and you should hear in those words what we will see in the morning in Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 through 4.

Verse 3 here therefore Oh Israel and be careful to do them that it may go well with you and that you may multiply Greatly as the Lord the God of your fathers has promised you in a land flowing with milk and honey.

Now here is the heart of the Hebrew faith. Here Oh Israel the Lord our God Yathweh our Elohim the Lord our God the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God power in three ways with all of your heart.

With all your soul and with all your might and these words that I command you today shall be on your Heart don't miss that. You should then teach them diligently to your children and you shall talk of them when Moses in four contexts number one When you sit in your house.

Number two when you walk by the way. Number three when you lie down and number four when you rise and I'll say a word about this more in a moment. But bottom line brothers and sisters that pretty much encompasses everything we do we sit we walk we lie down we get up and.

So basically he's saying that you should be about the business of teaching your children the things of the Lord all of the time. Now how that fleshes out we're going to talk about this morning and again tomorrow.

I don't think it means you're cramming a Bible down their throat 24 -7. I don't think it means that you've got them in some type of monastic bubble where you're again making them read deep theological books when they're Five years old.

I don't think means anything like that at all. I think it means that just the ebb and flow of life ought to be such that your children see the Lord Impacting it and they see the Lord as part and partial of Everything that they are doing all of the time.

So verse 8 you shall bind them as signs as frontlets on your hand. And the Jews went so far as to create little boxes called phylacteries. They would put them over their head. They'd put them on their forearm.

In fact, the more spiritual are the bigger it guide and some walked around with such large ones in the ancient world. They could hardly move don't make that's what it's really saying. I think it's saying that you put it on as a sign to your hand.

It helps you remember that you're to be always doing the Word of the Lord and they shall be as frontless between your eyes. Which of course is connected to the mind. You should always be thinking godly thoughts and thinking in a biblical Scriptural kind of a way and you want the Word of God to permeate your home.

So you should write these on the doorpost of your house and on your gates three things that stand out in this text as to what it is that God calls you and me to do if we're indeed going. To build a household of faith and grow children in a way that honors God number one.

He says you need to teach your children to obey God. That's verses 1 2 3. Secondly, he says you need to teach your kids to love God. That's verses 4 through 6 and then thirdly you're to teach your children to know God and that's verses 7 8 and 9 and I believe he puts the idea of love in the middle because loving God is the key to obeying God and Loving God is the key to Knowing God now.

I'm gonna walk back through the text again quickly make some observations and then as I did last night I'm going to kind of then develop an overarching biblical Perspective and I'm gonna give you some very practical things.

Particularly for dads this morning that you and I can do day in and day out. That will let our children know well that we love them and that will guide them in being Young men and women who become champions for the Lord Jesus Christ.

One of my Favorite persons to read in years past was a woman named Irma Bombay. She was A pretty insightful and in fact probably would have been nice to have around my seminary from time to time because she Understood how real life works in the real world and she wrote a book one time entitled family the ties that bind and gag.

Which sounds like an Irma Bombay title if you are familiar with her writings in the very beginning of that book. She tells a very moving and touching story About the impact on her life of her day. When she listened to what she she wrote.

One morning my father did not get up and go to work. He went to the hospital and he died the next day. I Hadn't thought that much about him before. He was just someone who left and came home and seemed glad to see everyone at night.

He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could and he was the only one in the house Who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself? He cut himself shaving. But no one ever kissed it or got excited about it.

It was understood that when it rained he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. Hmm. He took lots of pictures. But he was never in them.

Whenever I played house The mother doll had a lot to do. I Never knew what to do with the daddy doll. So I had him say I'm going off to work now and I threw him under the bed. The funeral was in our living room.

And a lot of people came and they brought all kinds of good food and cakes we had never had so much company before. Later I Went to my room and felt under the bed for the daddy doll. When I found him I dusted him off and I put him on my bed.

He never did anything. I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much. And there's a line that I read way too fast. Probably didn't grab hold of it. I want to go back and pick it up because though it's very simple It's very profound.

She simply said this. He was just someone who left Came home and Seemed glad To see everyone at night and By just doing that simple thing going off to work and provide Coming home every night and basically saying to his wife and to his children I am so glad to be back home with you.

He gave his little girl a sense of confidence a sense of security a sense of well-being. That she lost when she lost her daddy. So the fact matter is daddies are very very very very Important to the health and welfare of their children and God understood that it is necessary For a child to have in the home both a dad and a mom.

World report. US News and World Report shared this just a couple of years ago. More than 70 of teens who attempt suicide have parents who are divorced. 70 their parents are divorced. In the article the lost art of fatherhood.

David Blankenhorn who is president of the Institute for American values and co-founder of the National Fatherhood Initiative notes. 40 of American children currently don't live with their biological fathers.

70 of juveniles in state reform institutions grew up with one or neither parent. 43 of adult inmates grew up in single-parent homes almost all without a dad. 30 of children living with never married mothers and 22 with divorced mothers repeat a grade.

Compared with only 12 of those who have both of their biological parents, so the fact matter is dads are intended by God to be a gift to their Children and in this text though, it is not excluding the role and the assignment of the mother.

It is saying preeminently and primarily it is the dad and now for some of us the granddads Who are to be about the business of teaching our children to obey the Lord to love the Lord and to know? The Lord so look at it again first of all It says teach them to obey God where they live and teach them to obey God with the totality of their lives.

Now this is the commandment I like to mark my Bible and so I note that in this particular text the word commandment or command occurs one two three four five times so five times Moses emphasizes the importance of knowing and Obeying the commands of the Lord.

He'll also use the word statutes. Which carries the same idea and even the idea of rules? So the commandments of the Lord the statutes of the Lord the rules of the Lord. This is the commandment verse 1 the statutes and the rules that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you.

That you may do them Obey them in the land to which you are going over to possess it that you may fear reverence the Lord your God you your son and your son's son so a three generational Admonition given there by Moses that they would keep the statutes keep his commandments.

Which I commanded you all the days of your life. Why. Because I will bless you. Your days may be extended your days may be long now. I don't think that is an absolute Statement in the sense that well, here's a family that for whatever reason loses a child In its infancy or losing the child in the adolescent years and that's an indication that obviously that was a disobedient child or a very Disobedient or are not effective parents.

No. He's simply saying I'm entering into a general overall covenant. I'll tell you something you teach your kids to love God and you'll be blessed. You teach your children to love God and you'll extend your life and their life and I'll share some wonderful stories later about that.

That prove that very point and so he says in verse 3 here. Then Oh Israel and be careful to do them that it may go well with you and you will be multiplying greatly, so first and foremost teach your children to obey God.

Secondly. Teach your children to love God verse 4 hero Israel the Lord our God the Lord is one and You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart with all of your soul and with all of your Might.

When Jesus quotes the Shema in the New Testament He will use the word mind. Because the idea of the mind pretty much parallels the idea here of loving the Lord with your heart and your soul. We tend to make that kind of dichotomy in our way of thinking today.

So let me address that for just a moment. I've been a Christian since I was 10 years old. I've been a pastor or a minister since I was 20 years old. So for 34 years Because I do what I do. I get to travel a lot.

I am in a lot of different churches are usually around 40 a year. You can do the math and figure out how many churches I've had the honor and the joy of being in over the last three. And a half decade and I'll tell you something.

I've learned as I've watched very carefully. Most not all but most churches are pretty good at loving God well with their heart. But they are absolutely pathetic in loving God well with their minds. You don't know how unique you are.

When I walked back last night after the service and looked at the book display back there I just will tell you on the inside my heart just welled up with Thanksgiving. Because what you got back there are classics are really good wonderful biblical Theological biblically grounded practical books that you would be well served to pick up.

And read and then put into practice most Christians read garbage. Most well, no most Christians don't read. Okay, most most Christians like most people they don't read and when they do read they read junk.

They read fluff. They read stupid stuff. And I'll tell you something you bring no honor to God by being stupid. In fact, it's a sin to be stupid. Jesus said love the Lord your God with your heart with your soul and with your mind.

Paul says in Romans 12 to don't be conformed to this world. Be transformed have by the renewing of your mind. So all the way back at the foundation of the nation of Israel God is challenging them to love the Lord.

Well, not only with their heart. But also to love the Lord well with their mind. In fact, he says there in verse 6 these words that I command you today. Shall be on your heart and as he's saying they should be in your mind.

All right, so you teach the children to love God, but then you teach them to know God and I love verse 7. It is so helpful and it has been such a guiding Verse in my own life now again very quickly. Just a personal note.

I do have four sons. They're now 30 30 27 and almost 26 so I will say to you without any reservation this morning. I am NOT an expert On child rearing, but I have a lot of experience. Okay, not an expert.

Anybody says they're an expert. They're a fool. I'm not an expert. I just have a lot of experience. All right, because I raised four along with my wife over that period of time. God's been very gracious to us.

All four of my sons love the Lord Jesus. All four of my sons are in ministry. My oldest son is an MDM graduate is going to be a church planner and is serving as a college minister right now. His twin brother is about to graduate with a PhD in Old Testament Hebrew at Southern Seminary.

And is also a pastor. My third son spent two years on the mission field has an MDM and now as a missions pastor with David Platt at the Church of Brook Hills. My youngest son was on the mission field for two years and is working on a master's degree is a middle school minister and teaches Bible to Christian school.

So I've been very blessed and let me just say all praise all glory goes to the Lord Jesus Christ and their mother. Okay, let's put things in proper perspective. She she was a stay-at-home mom and she poured her life into those boys.

And so she's the one that will have the multiple stars in her crown when we get to heaven so God has been very very very very good to us, but I Did take very seriously his word as a father and I tried to the best of my ability to do What the scriptures tell us to do and one of the things that was very very very Impactful in my life was what you have here in Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 7 in particular.

You shall teach them diligently teach what the commandments the statutes of the Lord. You shall teach them diligently to your children and you shall talk of them When and you'll see that the word when occurs four times in verse 7 When you sit down.

When you walk. When you lie down When you rise up and so I came to a conviction That you're to be about the business of teaching your children the things of the Lord all the time. But all the time as the natural ebb and flow of your life.

When I was in Louisville, I Had a young man that came to see me one day who had been on the mission field for a number of years. It was coming back to America and was having just a very very very difficult time in helping his children get Normalized in the American context, they just were really struggling having come from a foreign country back to America.

They never lived in America. They were born on the mission field so America was a foreign country to them and they were really struggling with all the Commercialism all of the materialism all the way that teenagers live in America today.

It was just really causing all sorts of conflict. So he comes into my office. He has a big old notepad and he says I Understand That you have good boys. And I said, well, they're good some of the time some of the time they're not but overall Dad and mom are pleased.

He said great Pulls out his notepad and says I want you to tell me how you do it. I want you to tell me how you Structure their days. I want you to tell me the Bible memorization plan you have for them.

I want you to tell me the books that you make them read and I said man you need to stop right now. You are wigging me out. I Said you need to put down that notepad right now. You need to put that pencil over there and stop this stuff.

You you you you've got issues. You need drugs and therapy. And so you got to stop. And he said what do you mean? And I said, I didn't do any of that. He said what I said, I didn't do any of that. I Said well You don't let them watch TV.

Do you? And I said Just all the time. Now, let me say something before I go on if you are here this this morning and you have this rock-rib Non-negotiable conviction about something like television that that's your business and I believe that that which is not a faith is sin.

So if you are an awfully convicted that your kids don't get to have the joy of watching March Madness. And they don't get to have the joy of watching the Super Bowl and they'll get to have the joy of that's fine.

You ain't deprived your children. Oh you. You got to do what you believe. All right. All right. But I said just all the time. And I said in fact, let me tell you what to this day is one of the most glorious aspects of our family life my family loves the fall and They especially love Saturdays in the fall and they think it is glorious that about 10 o 'clock this thing starts on ESPN called.

But what's the thing at 10 o 'clock called game day, come on folks game day. All right. So you watch game day for two hours and you get to watch Corso and all these guys. Do their thing and then at noon in the Eastern time zone till midnight.

Is this glorious? And today with you know, you don't have to turn the thing anymore. Like when we were little you got the years that you're going back and forth and you can even get the game package. Where you can have between five and eight games going on at the same time if you have a teenager.

Or a young adult they're over there. I don't hold the control box. I give it to them and they're back to you. Boom. Boom. Boom, but they've got it down between play. I mean they just like rhythmic rhythmic and so when my boys were little.

We would on Saturday morning about 11 o 'clock 12 o 'clock game day went on back then I'd come into the living room. They'd go glass of iced tea pillow. I'd lay down on the couch. Coming behind me would be four little boys dragging a blanket pillow sip cup.

One two three four they would lie down in the floor right by the couch and for 12 hours. Every Saturday we would watch college football. We nearly spoke in tongues it was so glorious. I mean it was it it was a absolutely magnificent experience.

Now some of you more cynical types or skeptical types might say well, I just think there's a waste of time. I Spent 12 hours for at least 20 Saturdays if you count the NFL as well. With my children for 20 years.

And if you've raised boys, you know that they don't just talk about football when you spend 12 hours with them. They talk about all sorts of things. Furthermore I was absolutely committed to the proposition that my sons would believe.

That being a Christian meant having fun. In fact, one of you came up to last night and said I remember when you were here before or maybe was it Southern? When you said you've actually had only two and I said, it's the show much look here's the bottom line for me.

My parental philosophy can be boiled down into two principles number one teach your children to know and love Jesus. And Number two have fun with them. That's it. That's it. Teach them to love Jesus and Have fun and for us it worked out really well.

You see some Christians give their children the impression that knowing Jesus and serving Jesus isn't fun. We're the folks who don't get to do anything. We're the folks who have no fun. We're the folks who look like we've been vaccinated with pickle juice.

And that's not the Christianity that I find in the Bible. That is not the Christianity I find in knowing Jesus and loving Jesus. Well. By the way, how does that flesh out? He's okay. So you're watching all this football all the time.

We watch also watch basketball and baseball not as much but basketball too. And so you're watching all this sports. Oh all the time. And so how did that like can you even give me one example where your children ever made a spiritual connection?

Oh, absolutely. I can remember when we were riding one day in our band and Timothy my youngest the verbal one said I'll ask you a question daddy. How. You say all the time that whether you eat or drink whatever you do you're to do all to the glory of God you said it all the time I said Well, I have a question.

How do you glorify God playing football? That's really not a bad question if you think about it. And by the way again, one of my ideas in being a parent is I don't answer a lot of questions. I ask a lot of questions.

I make them answer One of my favorite courses when they did something bad you ask the question, all right, if you were the daddy, what would you do? They hate that. They hate that, you know, if you were the daddy given what you just did What would you do and I would force them to think through those things?

So he says to me, how do you bring glory to God playing football? So I said, well, why do you ask that question? He says well best I can tell in football your goal Is to smash the guy in front of you you're to knock him down and Trample over him and then do it again.

Until he can't get up anymore and that seems to me pretty much what football is about. I said well pretty much that's that's accurate. So I said, all right. And my three others, they're all they're all now they're all zeroed in because they're up.

They're fearful. Oh my lord. He's asked the question that may mean that we'll never watch football again for the rest of our lives. And they're they're they're beginning to have a traumatic, you know experience.

And so I said well, let's just think through this for a moment. And so I said guys Do you know someone who plays football? Who has a reputation of being a very devoted sold-out? Follower Jesus and this was you know, they're now that though.

This was probably 20 years ago. And so they all said immediately Reggie white. I mean if you remember the name Reggie white, okay. He is the the the ancient equivalent to Tim Tebow. Okay, he's the ancient equivalent to Tim Tebow.

Reggie white Was a three-time all-american at the University of Tennessee. I will forgive him for that I'm a Georgia Bulldog fan. So Tennessee fans are not saved and I don't like them. But God gave me a Tennessee daughter-in-law.

And so I'm really having to process that so three-time all-american Tennessee Was first and all pro with the Philadelphia Eagles, which that's not good because I'm a cowboy fan but then he got saved and went to Green Bay and ladies led Green Bay to a Superbowl along with Brett Barr and Reggie white was an ordained Baptist minister.

Reggie white came to Christ in his early 20s late teens. He was known across the NFL as a man who did not cuss did not smoke did not drink did not do drugs. Was faithful to his wife loved his children and did not play dirty.

No one ever ever ever ever accused Reggie white of taking a cheap shot. Never and in fact if you watch football television today every now and then you will see them linger with the cameras and after the game both on the College level and the pro level most the time you will see players gather from both sidelines at midfield.

Kneel and pray. Reggie white helped initiate that. So I said to the boys after kind of delineating all of that I said do you think that that Reggie white brings glory to God by the way, he plays football and they said yeah Reggie white brings glory to God by the way, he plays football.

Timothy then said So we really are supposed to bring glory to God and everything we do. I said, yes, we are. So they even means we're supposed to bring glory to God in the way we we study at school. I said yes, and you ain't bringing much glory right now.

So just in the and then sitting it off we went with whatever other conversation they want. In other words I believe in teaching your children to when you sit down when you walk when you lie down and when you rise up means You're looking for teachable moments.

Teachable moments in their lives. Whereby you have the opportunity to show them how the Word of God and the Lordship of Christ Impacts that particular issue that particular situation that particular moment in their lives.

I'm just always looking for that now before I threw myself under the bus earlier. Let me back up when our boys were growing up. We prayed at every meal. We prayed every night and read the Bible by their bedside.

I did teach them to memorize scripture. I did read to them the Chronicles of Narnia. They didn't watch back then Hanna-Barbera videos of cartoon characters of Moses and Joshua and Samson and Jesus and all that.

So they did we did all that it was just like the normal ebb and flow of life. I did not say well now tonight. Seven hours, you're gonna have to be in your room studying the Bible. I never did that. I have a friend who recently informed me through another friend and he is now Forcing his children to have it one night a week for two hours in their home a moment of a time of solitude.

They can't talk for two hours. Why why? I mean, why would you do that to a child? I mean, why would you do that to an adult? But why would you do that to a child? Well, it's spiritual. No, it may be legalistic.

And it may be just downright dumb and I don't I don't see that in here. I'm not against being quiet every now and then. But you just want them to sense that. Loving and serving Jesus is just part and partial of the ebb and flow and natural living of life.

Now I'm gonna shift gears. In particular men. How does this look in your life in my life. In other words if I were to scan scripture. Which is what I did for this part of our study if I were to scan scripture and I were to look for some very tangible concrete visible Principles that ought to be part and parcel of your life in my life day in and day out so that we do have as it says there in verse 6 God's Word on our heart and We are prepared to teach and speak of the things of the Lord when we sit down get up walk and so on.

What does that kind of man look like? What kind of man did you need to be in order to live out that kind of life for your children? Well, I've got 15 of them. If I run out of time we'll stop and I'll just throw part of them over into my next session.

But I'm gonna walk you through these things. Make some comments and I would encourage you to jot them down. I'll give you the principle very simply and in the scripture. Probably read some of the scriptures for you and then make a comment or two and move on so I won't linger at any one.

Very long, but just some things that I believe that are clearly evident in the Bible. So here we go. Number one. Your children need a dad who is saved and Seeking a daily walk with God. They need a dad who is saved and who is seeking a daily walk with God.

The Bible speaks of in it in Genesis 5 24 is a man who walked with God. The Bible again in Genesis speaks of Noah a man who was righteous blameless in his life who walked with God. In other words day in and day out your children see a daddy.

Who has very firm convictions very firm commitments and who makes it evident that the things of God really do matter to me. Don't tell you something having a godly dad a Godly husband is most often the key for the rest of the family coming and following the Lord Jesus.

Recently in a survey. I saw quote when the mother of the family is the first person to accept Christ. The rest of the family will convert 17 of the time. Not even one in five. When a child is the first family member to follow Christ 31 of the time the rest of the family will come.

So child comes to Christ one-third of the family will come to Christ. But when the dad becomes a Christian 93 of the time the rest of the family will follow Jesus in conversion. It matters dad. It really makes a difference in the life of your mate and your children when they see you as a man who is saved.

And a man who is seeking daily to walk with God. I mentioned it last night my granddaddy walked with God. You didn't have to have a PhD. He had a fifth grade education. But my granddaddy walked with the Lord number two they need a daddy who exercises godly leadership.

A Daddy who exercises godly leadership you say why. Because it creates for the children respect for authority. It teaches sons how to be godly leaders as husbands. And it also even models for daughters how to be godly followers as as wives.

The very fact that God calls a wife to submit means he's calling a man to lead and in fact in first Corinthians chapter 11 verse 3 Paul says this. I want you to understand That Christ is the head of every man and the man is the head of a woman and God is the head of Christ.

He's talking within the context of the marital relationship and in the context of the church now. Let me be clear here. My wife for example is Called by God to submit both to me and To the pastoral leadership of our church.

She's not called to submit to every man. She is called to have a submissive spirit. Just like I'm called to have a submissive spirit and she is called to submit to me and to the leadership of our church.

Which means God has been calling me to exercise godly leadership. In other words, I'm not called to be a frustrated drill sergeant or a CEO. I'm called to be a servant leader. In fact the model I love the best in the scriptures for this is I believe God has called me to be a shepherd.

I Shepherd my marriage. I Shepherd my children that means I protect them. And I came around a club to knock out the teeth of the wolves that might hurt my wife or hurt my children. But I also am the kind of person who will lay down his life For his mate and lay down his life for his children and I lead them by serving them.

I don't lead them by driving them or are dictating to them. And again, sometimes those of us who are Bible believing evangelicals get this confused and we mistake that being the one the leader. Well, first off you have to say you're the leader.