Sex Education from Proverbs 5

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Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

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No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ, based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the

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Apostle Paul said, But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.

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In short, if you like smooth, watered -down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn't for you.

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By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we're called by the divine trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her

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King. Here's our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth. Welcome to No Compromise Radio, ministry.

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My name is Mike Abendroth. I think this is the start of year nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, year nine.

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That's a lot of years. A lot of people have helped me throughout the years, and I appreciate that. I kind of go back and forth, thinking, should we just do this once a week, but we're trying to ramp up.

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Jaws. That was the tuba. Tuba's normally just in the background, right?

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Here's Joe. It says, where have you been, mister? Remember that band,

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Mr. Mister? First I thought it said, where have you been, minister? That'd be capital M to you,

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Joe. Capital M. I have been, two weeks ago,

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I was in Burbank doing a marriage conference at Calvary Bible Church. Pastor Kempis.

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You have to pull up that website and listen to pastor preach. That was fun to be with those folks.

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You know what? It's so much more fun to do a marriage conference when you're less self -righteous than you used to be.

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In other words, I still struggle with self -righteousness. I'll admit it, but not as much as before, because the more

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I have my eyes directed by the Spirit to the righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ, His perfect righteousness, that's been in heaven for 2 ,000 years, the easier it is for me to just go, you know what?

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I'm a doof, doofus. I'm dopey. I'm sinful. I fall short.

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When you preach about marriage in Ephesians 5 and your wife is sitting in the front row, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.

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I think that's when I started taking ballroom dance lessons, because I wanted to do something for her that I didn't want to do.

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I mean, I enjoy it now, but I wanted to be a little less of a hypocrite as I think about all the ways

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I fail as a husband, which in one sense is good because it makes me realize

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I need to look to the husband that never fails, to the Lord Jesus and how

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He nourishes and how He washes and how He makes blameless. Can you think about there's a spouse in the world that can completely fulfill another spouse and to make them holy and blameless?

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We want our human spouses to do that, but only the Lord Jesus in Ephesians 5 is able to do that.

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Anyway, we did the conference at Calvary Bible Bible Bank.

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Actually, I attended that church, I think, in 91. Richard Lau was the pastor. Anyway, it's much better for me to be able to say, you know what,

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I've fallen so short and how am I going to come here and do a marriage conference when

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I lost my temper in the car with my wife? When I lose my temper,

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I don't usually yell. I'm not a yeller. I'm old, but I'm not a yeller. I usually talk soft.

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Anyway, Mike Abendroth, No Compromise Radio. Today we're looking at Proverbs 5. If you missed the last show, this will be a quick one -minute reminder.

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When you look at the Proverbs, you ought to think, how do I read this as a Christian? I can't read it just like an unbelieving

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Jew or some kind of morality. There's all kinds of Proverbs that have morality, but I need to read it in a

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Christian way. And I took you to Ephesians chapter 5 verses 1 through essentially 6, excuse me, to think about, all right, we need to walk in a way that imitates

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God. How does God walk? Well, he walks in love and the focus there was the

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Lord Jesus Christ and how he walked in love and gave himself for us.

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And so when it comes to love, God's love is sacrificial. When it comes to love,

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God's love is selfless. When it comes to God's love, it's not selfish.

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When it comes to God's love, it is based on the work, wants the best in the other person.

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Contrastingly, sexual sin takes, sexual sin is selfish. And so that's the paradigm that Paul has when it comes to sexual sin.

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It's not loving if you're having sex outside of marriage. It's no matter what you call it, it's not imitating

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God. And therefore, when I look at Proverbs chapter 5, the best thing to do is to think in a

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Christian fashion. And that is, as I walk through it, I just don't say to myself, this is sheer morality.

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This is sheer command. This is sheer, this is the way life should be.

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No, in light of who I am in Christ, union with Christ, in light of my guilt, Christ's grace and my response with gratitude,

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I'm going to think about it in a Christian fashion. So that's how you have to think about law when it comes to biblical thinking.

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This is what God requires. Gospel is something different. This is what God has done. Now, notice chapter 5 of Proverbs.

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Today's the 24th. I haven't read Proverbs 24 yet today, but I often do that. Do you not? Oh, it's the 5th, and so then you read

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Proverbs 5. It says from Solomon, inspired by the Spirit of God, My son, be attentive to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding.

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I don't know how old Solomon was when he said this. I don't know how young the son was when he was told this.

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But this is parental instruction. My son. Nine chapters.

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It occurs often. Chapter 1, verse 8. Chapter 1, verse 10. Verse 15 of chapter 1.

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And chapter 2, verse 1. 3, verse 1. 4, verse 10. 6, verse 1. 7, verse 1.

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My son, my son, my son, my son. Obviously, parents need to teach their children all kinds of things.

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I don't know. When you're mowing, you know, how not to have your toe cut off.

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Many things. How to pray. How to serve. How to look somebody in the eye and shake their hand.

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I mean, I guess there's a thousand things a parent could teach, but one of the things we should learn from Proverbs 5 is to teach our children about sexual sin and sexual enjoyment.

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Sexual holiness in marriage, in the marriage bed. And that's the way this Psalm, this

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Proverbs breaks down. This Proverbs breaks down. Avoid. Enjoy. P .S.

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God's watching. And I learned that in seminary, but it's true. He says, don't do these things.

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Do these things. P .S. Yahweh is watching you. And therefore, I'd still want to stress, and I put this in the book.

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Sexual Fidelity Book. Very few dads have a plan ahead of time.

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You know what? I'm going to be watching my children and I'm going to be able, I'm going to watch them and their friends and school because of social media, because of the culture, because of billboards, because I'm going to watch to see when puberty's kicking in or close.

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I'm going to watch my children and I'm going to be very keen to say to myself,

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I should have the talk with my children sometime. And I'm going to have my wife next to me and we're going to talk and we're going to talk about God making bodies.

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We're going to talk about why you look kind of like dad and kind of like mom. And how does that work?

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You know, something has to come together. I know some people, one kid was telling me, well,

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I thought the kind of the DNA was exchanged when mom and dad would kiss kind of thing.

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It's very sweet, but I know so many dads that they don't want to have the talk with the children because they're embarrassed.

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So I try to be nice, especially as I'm getting older. I'm almost 60. Dads, you mean to tell me you won't at the expense of your own embarrassment, sit down and talk to your kids.

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I mean, come on. You're going to talk to him about 401ks and lawn mowing and all these other things. This is important.

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When my dad sent me out of the house, going on a date, he'd say stuff like, keep your nose clean.

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That was his advice. This kid down the street, you know, you learn from the kid down the street and he's telling you all these things are showing you in magazines or whatever.

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I mean, no, no, I want to frame everything, even though I'll be kind of red and be kind of embarrassing and kind of like, oh, okay, here we go.

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I'm going to talk to my kid about this. Uh, I, I, I, I love those days looking back at it.

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But at the time you're like, okay. So I'd ask them, do you have any questions at the end of it?

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Very, very sweet. But dads at your own expense, don't want, don't you want to tell your kids? I mean, what does keep your nose clean mean?

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I, I seriously, I didn't know whether that meant don't get her pregnant. I didn't know if that meant, uh, uh, wear a condom.

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I have no idea what you mean, dad, dads. Why don't you dad, let's put the verb dad back into being a dad.

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And of course, moms can talk. I'm the one that talked to my son with my wife present with my three daughters with my wife present.

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And then I'd say things like, you know what girls, you can always ask me any question you want about this topic. You probably ask your mom more questions than you asked me, but you can ask me anything you want.

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And then my son, Luke probably asked me more questions than he did my wife, but I'm sure he, he asked her some questions.

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And so sitting down here is sexual instruction. Here is sex education, parents.

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Somebody is going to educate your children. It might as well be you from the scriptures in your own home using language that's appropriate, not with some kind of YouTube video or this, that, or the other.

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This is parental instruction. I know I'm taking a long time to, to, to emphasize this, but it is important sex education from God's perspective.

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And what does Solomon say? Pay attention. Here's what he's saying. Listen up. I remember a swim team or a football practice or basketball practice back in Nebraska.

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Listen up, heads up. In other words, this is important. Here's what Solomon is going to say to his son.

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You don't have the education. You don't have the self -discipline. You don't have the strength.

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You don't have the wherewithal. You don't have the consideration to deal with this issue without framing it from a biblical perspective.

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This is what you're going to need. And he says that you may, verse two, keep discretion and your lips may guard knowledge.

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Sexual sin is, is damaging. First Corinthians chapter six says all other sins are outside the body.

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This damages the body. This is important. And God's word is going to help you, son, stay away from this.

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And of course, to a daughter as well, this is father to a son, but daughters need to learn this. And even as you look at Proverbs five, you could say to yourself, uh,

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Solomon is warning about this loose woman. And, uh, of course there are loose men.

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You could just flip around, um, this, if you're a young lady that needs to be instructed in this, here's the paradigm in Proverbs five, you either listen to what the sexual seductress says, male or female seducer, or you listen to what

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God's word says. IE in this particular case, God's word and Solomon's word are the exact same.

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Do you notice verse three for the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil.

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You're going to listen to her words are my words. That's what the dad is telling the son.

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And of course, this is a book of wisdom. Is it not right? Job and Psalms and Proverbs and Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon, the wisdom literature wisdom is needed here.

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Not just, you know, I'll just do whatever I want. I mean, think about the world, how the world sells stuff.

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Here's how the world sells stuff. Whatever feels good. Do it. No, you're going to have to process this.

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This is going to have to be kind of CPU random access memory. You're going to have to work through this.

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You're going to have to process this. You have to think there's a future, by the way, wisdom in the

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Bible, especially Proverbs says this, there's a later, there's an after there's a morning after there's tomorrow, there's a cause and there's an effect.

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There's a consequence. Naivete says,

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Hmm, here's an opportunity. I have an emotion. I have a feeling

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I want to. If it feels good, do it. What's going to go on between two consenting people that doesn't hurt anybody.

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That's how a fool talks. A fool says, come what may,

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I don't care the consequences. Let's eat. Let's drink. Let's have illicit sex for tomorrow.

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We die. We just might in fact die tomorrow. But the wise says, you know what?

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I need to kind of be, I need to not kind of, but I need to be guided by my father's words.

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She, Solomon is going to say, will have whispers. She will have smiles.

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She will have words. And we're going to see that in Proverbs 5, maybe if not this time later, but there's an after.

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And do you notice, here's what I find fascinating. Dear Christian viewer, listener.

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Christians struggle with this. This is a concern for Christians. This is, this should make you say, you know what?

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My children, they're 13, they're 14, they're 17, whatever their ages are.

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And then beyond, you can groom them pretty well. They look pretty nice.

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No elbows on the table. Thank you for dinner. Rules can get to work on time.

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They're going to struggle with this. Sex isn't the problem, obviously. It's what the human heart does with sex.

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Just like with guns, alcohol, food, sex.

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It can be used wrongly because the heart is wicked. The heart is fallen. And even for Christians, there's the flesh and end willing sin and things that Paul would talk about in Romans.

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And so we have to realize, you know what? My kid, I never really want to have the talk because he's really good in all these other areas.

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You're either going to listen to my word, son, or the world's words. The siren song of the world saying, swipe right.

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If it feels good, do it. You're going to end up disappointed, destroyed, and dead, essentially.

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Some of the things that I said to my son that I could talk about privately, I would never talk about on radio or from the pulpit or any other place.

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But that's the wonder of it. That's why it's so great is you can sit around and talk to your children in a

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God -ordained, God -pleasing fashion. I may forget, so I'll just give you a little reminder here for No Compromise Radio.

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I think spokesmen should be giving me some kind of discounts or something. They're in Santa Cruz.

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What was I just going to say? Oh, why don't you read your Bibles to your children on a regular basis, dear dads?

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Dads aren't around. Of course, moms can too. Moms have great supplement reading and help.

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Here's the thing. When you read the Bible chapter by chapter, and it's super easy to have a family devotion.

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Moms, just don't expect Sinclair Ferguson out of the dad. Dads, don't be vain and prideful and think you're going to be great.

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Just sit down with the kids and say, today we're going to read Genesis chapter one. This is God's word. I love God's word.

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What he says is true. We're going to learn about God today. Then as we learn about him, we're going to learn about our sin and the need for the

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Savior, the Lord Jesus. Make it exciting. Talk and ask questions. Involve the kids in that.

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You've got ages two through 12. Then the next day, let's just say you just do it four days a week because of busy schedules.

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Five days a week. Shoot for seven, but if you miss one, fine. Then the next day you can say, well, what did we learn yesterday from Genesis one?

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Then you can say, well, today's going to be Genesis chapter two, and let's see what we can learn about God and man and sin and the need for the

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Savior, etc. Before you know it, like tomorrow for our public scripture reading, we're going through Genesis for our

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Old Testament reading. We just finished Genesis eight with the flood, and chapter nine is what

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I'll be reading tomorrow for public worship service. In one sense, I wish the chapter ended early because we have the rainbow and we have the promise of God, my covenant, my covenant, my covenant, my covenant, my everlasting covenant and God's mercy and grace and how great this rainbow is, the promises of God.

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And then before you know it, Noah gets drunk and nakedness uncovered.

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Ham sees his nakedness, his disasters.

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But here's my point. Genesis 38, for instance, and that description there, the kids are going to ask you questions because there are appropriate sexual things in the

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Bible. There are sexual sins in the Bible, of course, but it's all cloaked in a language of this is acceptable.

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I could put it this way. If you think the Bible says stuff about sex that's inappropriate, it's not the

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Bible's problem. It's yours. Now, there's a time and place for everything, but there's always a time to talk about God's word, whether that's from the pulpit on a radio show or sitting down at the kitchen table with your kids.

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There are some particular things that are maybe more detailed that I don't see in scripture, but my son might ask me that I'm not going to talk about in a church service because maturity is time and place, and there's a right time and a right place to talk about it.

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There was a breakout session at the church for the marriage thing for intimacy with men, and it wasn't recorded, and people asked me questions, and I answered some questions.

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I thought, by the way, I can't believe I'm getting asked this question. I thought when you're a pastor, you're just going to talk about resurrection and stuff, heaven.

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But anyway, there's just this time and place. By the way, Dad, just keep reading through scripture. Stuff will come up. Here he says, listen, but in the end, verse 4, she's bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two -edged sword.

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See what he's doing? There's an afterword. It's a decoy. When I was a kid, we had duck decoys because they'd set up, and then the ducks would come to see other ducks, but it was wrong, and then

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Dad's 12 -gauge shotgun would come out. I shot a shotgun the other day with the men, and some

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Italian shotgun. It has like 11, 12 -gauge rounds in it, and you don't have to pump it.

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You just shoot belly, belay, bellissimo.

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I don't know. It starts with B -E -L -L. Somebody can tell me what it is. There's a shotgun, an Italian shotgun.

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Man, it was nice. The end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two -edged sword.

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Her feet go down to death. Her steps follow the path to Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life.

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Her ways wander. She does not know it. I mean, morphing, shifting, slippery, moving all around.

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By the way, do you think Solomon's son was paying attention? Yes. And here's what's fascinating.

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Everybody in our society today, and of course, we want to be kind to sinners and kind to unbelievers and anything but self -righteous.

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And we're the pious ones. But Solomon here, if you notice, he's not trying to say, she doesn't know what she's doing.

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She's lost. She's just getting caught up in things too. And kind of, she's to be pitied.

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That's not what Solomon is saying. Solomon is saying, she is the temptress.

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She is the seductress. She ought to be avoided.

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She is like the adulterous woman, Proverbs 30. She eats and wipes her mouth and says, I've done no wrong.

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This is a beautiful woman lacking discretion, right? That's Proverbs 11, as a ring of gold and a swine's snout.

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He says, you've got to watch out. And so she's going to talk and I'm going to talk. And it's back to verse seven.

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And now, oh, sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house.

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That's Solomon to the son. You know, heroes, they go close, courageous.

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They're seeing how far they can get without falling. Heroes are bold and they know they're never going to fall.

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Kind of like Joseph, the hero. Joseph ran because, you know what?

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When you realize what's in your heart and what's going on with you, you better run. You know this.

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Well, what about this? And pros and cons. He's saying, son, go far away. Keep clear.

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She's dangerous. Don't stray into her paths. And it came about as she spoke to Joseph day after day that he did not listen to her to lie beside her or to be with her.

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Now, it happened one day that he went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the household were there in sight.

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And she caught him by his garment, saying, lie with me. And he left his garment in her hand and fled and went outside.

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Heroes, run, run. What could you lose? Solomon says to his son, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless.

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I mean, blackmailers and everything else. Well, time is gone. My name is

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Mike Abendroth. This is No Compromise Radio. In light of who you are in Christ Jesus, walk in a manner worthy of your calling.

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You're in Christ. And so, therefore, the way you live ought to be a reflection of that.

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You have a standing before God, a legal standing. Christ has fulfilled perfectly the law for you and has died for your sins, sexual sins and every other sin.

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And therefore, in light of this resurrected Christ, walk in a manner worthy, Proverbs chapter five.

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No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

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Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life transforming power of God's word through verse by verse exposition of the sacred text.

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Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 1015 and in the evening at six. We're right on route 110 in West Boylston.

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You can check us out online at bbcchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.