This moved me SO DEEPLY! Christians, time for a gut check…

I can't overstate this, but when this moment happened, he said, open your Bibles to John chapter 12. My jaw dropped open. And I'm going to show you at the end of this video the connection, because I've been hitting this same note for the last year and a half.

And maybe you sense it. You can't quite put a finger on it, but you know something is off. I just want to put words to this. As a matter of fact, I'm going to ask you to do something at the end of this video that some of you are going to refuse to do.

Some of you are going to dismiss me, but that's okay. And the rest of you are going to thank me. What is up, everybody? I want to share a video with you that so deeply moved me this past weekend. Now, this is a video that's outside the norm of what I usually make.

I want you to be patient with me. The debate teacher stuff is coming. Other videos in other series coming. I just, I really want to share this with you. It's an important moment for me personally, and I just want to pass this on.

Personal Testimony and the Burden Behind the Video

Now, before we get started, it's my birthday today. So, oh, thank you. Oh, we're getting a standing ovation. Is that really necessary? Come on now. I'm kidding. Actually, I would consider it a great birthday present if you would just watch this video, because I'm only making it due to the fact that this issue is so important for us as disciples of Jesus today.

I lay awake at night thinking about this particular issue a lot, especially lately. As a matter of fact, I'm going to ask you to do something at the end of this video that some of you are going to refuse to do.

Some of you are going to dismiss me, but that's okay. And the rest of you are going to thank me. We are missing something as Christians, so vital in a lot of our churches. And maybe you sense it. You can't quite put a finger on it, but you know something is off.

I just want to put words to this, so please stick around to the end. And if you're so inclined, like the video and subscribe if you're not already, and I appreciate you guys doing that. Real quick story.

I became a pastor during a series of high moments in my life. I had just incorporated my ministry into a non-profit organization. I had finally solidified my signature method of communicating the gospel.

I had much favor as a public high school teacher. You know, a personal best for me was being nominated for Heart of Education, which was a big deal here in Clark County. It still is in Las Vegas. All of these things were high points.

And then, here I come, jumping onto staff in a pastoral capacity, leading the young adult ministry and teaching discipleship to our leaders here at this church. But I was missing something, and I didn't even know it.

If you had asked me back when I first jumped onto staff at the church where I pastored, you would have said, hey, Nate, think you understand what it means to be a pastor? I would have told you, yeah, you know, I think I got the gist, you know?

I mean, I had just completed a 12-month pastoral intern program where my mentor had walked with me through the ins and outs of pastoring and taught me administrative responsibilities, he taught me budgets, you know, church planting, he taught me preaching and counseling.

I would have told you, I got this. But I didn't, though. What I was missing, what actually hit me like a ton of bricks as I was walking out the door, as I was walking away from being a pastor, I didn't want to leave, guys.

I hope I can make this clear enough. It's not like it was my burning desire to walk away from the role and the position, the calling I had as a pastor at my local church here in Las Vegas. It's only because the Lord made it abundantly clear that he had something else for me that was outside my church.

And when the Lord moves, you cannot do anything other than obey. But the reality is, it took me dying to realize what God wanted for me and my family. I had to die, and it was extremely painful. And you know what?

So did this pastor. Take a look.

If you've ever been that gut-level honest with the Lord before, it's pretty painful, right? And right away, I started to push back, and I'm like, God, really? Like, am I the problem? I don't think I have any overt, consistent, persistent sin, which if you would have asked me, I would have said no.

But the Holy Spirit has an amazing way, if you're honest and open, to ask him. He has the amazing way of pulling back the outer layer of our lives and putting his finger on the point of the problem in our lives.

He's got an amazing way to do that. And he began to show me ways in which I was arrogant. But you're so arrogant at times. And by the way, you're so prideful. You're the master of fishing in the pond of approval of other people.

You know how to ask a question in order to get a compliment better than anybody, began to show me. The one that caught me off guard was jealousy. You may be saying, what are you jealous of? You have a great church.

You have an amazing wife and kids and family and ministry. What are you jealous of? I was jealous if a pastor down the street that I heard baptized more people than we did at Long Hollow. In my heart.

I wouldn't say it, but in my heart. I was jealous if a guy wrote a blog post and it had more traction than me. I was jealous if a guy sold more books than me. I was jealous if a person put a post on Twitter at the same time I did, and it got more likes and tweets and responses than I did.

Guys, I hope you truly appreciate how rare this candid type of confession is from the pulpit. The transparency here is so refreshing, and it reveals what I've been saying, what I've been trying to say, right?

I've been talking about this particular issue for the last year and a half, if some of you have been paying close attention, and way more explicitly just in the last six weeks. All right, let's take a look at a little bit more.

The Lord began to show me, Robbie, if you can't pray for the church down the street to be blessed in spite of Long Hollow, I'm never going to bless Long Hollow. Let me remind you, son, this is not your church, it's my church.

And he began to pull back the layers of pride and arrogance. I tell people he had to do work on me before he could ever do work through me. I say this with love to you today, and I want you to receive this the right way.

Could the reason revival has not hit your home, your family, your marriage, and our church, could it be you're the blood clot? Could you be the blood clot to revival coming here? And the reason I say that is because I was.

Pride, Jealousy, and the Need for Death Before Revival

Amen. You have to understand, here is a pastor at a church in Tennessee who, by every measure that I can think of, is successful. He's climbing the corporate church ladder, so to speak, and I got news for you if you're thinking of it, yeah, there is, in many church circles, a corporate ladder to climb.

I've seen it, and I've witnessed it myself, and it's absolutely disheartening, and it's disgusting. Maybe some of you are climbing it right now. You're a pastor climbing that ladder right now, and I'm supposed to tell you, friend, you're heading in the wrong direction.

This is not God's plan for you. This is a pastor at a church telling a story about how revival essentially kick-started at his church. He baptized in one year 1 ,600 people in one year. He and his church made headlines about this.

Maybe you saw the headlines, because it just happened recently, about what God was doing at his church, and yet he's here, standing in front of his congregation, telling the story about his pride, about his arrogance, and God convicting him for it.

Where is this going? Let's take a look.

I want to be a church, I don't know about you, that is an epicenter for revival. I want to be a church filled with people that are super sensitive to a move of the Holy Spirit of God. I want to be a people of God who are longing for more of God, and not satisfied with synthetic substance version of God that's like sugar, that tastes good and then fades away.

I want a long move of the Spirit of God. I want people who are desperate for God, amen? That's what I want. I want to be that guy, amen? So here's the question, yeah, praise God. Here's the question, how does that happen?

Here's what I want to show you. In Scripture, this is the principle of God. Before God can ever birth or rebirth something, there has to be a death. That's the principle of God.

Amen. You can track this going all the way back to the Garden of Eden, you will find this consistent pattern all throughout Scripture, culminating in the death and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Now, this is the moment that caused me to want to make this video.

I don't want you to miss it. Pay attention, it's right here.

I had to die on the porch before God could work in me and through me. The death of Robbie, the death of dreams, the death of goals, the death of my plans, so that God could work in me to work through me.

I want to show it to you in Scripture. If you have a Bible, turn to John chapter 12, and I want to show you in Scripture this principle.

I can't overstate this, but when this moment happened, he said, open your Bibles to John chapter 12. My jaw dropped open. And I'm going to show you at the end of this video the connection that connects me to Pastor Robbie and his message, because I've been hitting this same note for the last year and a half.

But let's keep going. Open your Bibles to John 12.

And once you understand this, you'll understand why Jesus speaks so much of death and Paul speaks so much of death. Why? Because there has to be death before there can be life, or rebirth, or revival.

There has to be death. John chapter 12, verse 23, we like to say word at Long Hollow. If you're there, you can say word. Word of the Lord. Jesus replied to the crowd and said, the hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.

So what he's saying is, I'm about to be glorified, and he's going to show us the pathway to glorification. Truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and what? Dies. It remains by itself, but if it dies, it produces much fruit.

What he's saying is, before growth and life can happen, there has to be death. The one who loves his life or her life will lose it, but the one who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

Here's what Jesus is showing us. Unless the grain of wheat dies, it cannot grow. It cannot give life. Another way to say it is this. Jesus knows that the road to glory intersects the cross of Calvary.

What do you mean? Jesus knows that in order to give resurrection life to his followers, he has to go through the grave to conquer death, hell, and the grave, and to overcome the grave to give us life.

There has to be a death in order for there to be a life. Let me say it this way. In order to have revival, which technically spiritual revival is God blowing upon something, God giving life to dead bones that were once dormant or dead, and then God revives or gives life to them.

Now what does that have to do with us? Well, that's what happened to salvation. Think of what Paul said. If anyone is in Christ in here, he or she is a what?

New creation.

New creation in Christ. The old has...

Died.

Passed away. Died.

I'm participating.

Passed away means died.

I'm sorry.

You know when someone passes away, death. The old has passed away. Behold, all things have become what?

New.

New. Revival is a reawakening of something dead or something that is dormant. Now, if that's the case, many of you, like me, are praying for revival. You may not be praying for national revival, but I believe we're all praying for revival in our homes.

If you have children, you should be praying this way.

Amen?

Amen.

If you have grown grandchildren or children, you should be praying this way. If you're in a marriage, you should be praying this way. If you're working a job, you should... We're all praying for revival.

Maybe in our homes, maybe in our relationships, maybe in our marriages, maybe in our church, maybe in our community.

Stick with me. It's almost done.

Did you ever think that before God sends revival nationally or locally, He has to send it personally? What do I mean? Before revival comes to your family, it may have to start with you, brother. It may have to start with you, mom.

It may have to start with you, student. Isn't it any wonder Jesus said, if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself or herself, pick up his what? Remember this? Cross daily and follow me. That was a shocking statement to the first century.

Shocking statement.

Why?

Because Jews did not employ crucifixion as a matter of death. Did you know that? How did Jews kill or execute someone who went against the law? Do you remember how they did it?

Stoning.

In fact, remember when Jesus goes up to the mountain of Nazareth and they try to throw him off the mountain and what do they do? They're getting ready to stone him with the stones and kill him. The Jews knew nothing about crucifixion.

That was a Roman practice. So why in the world would Jesus for shot value tell him crucifixion? Because crucifixion was a way of decimation. Crucifixion was a way of destroying someone once and for all.

What Jesus is saying is this, it's not a physical death, although it could be, for the apostles it was, but it is a spiritual death. It's an emotional death in your life. Friends, you and I must die, don't miss this, so that Jesus may live through us.

Let me say it this way. Before God could ever use you fully, he must own you completely.

Galatians 2:20 and the Call to Die to Self

Oh, my goodness. Guys, here's why I shared this video, all right? I want to shine a spotlight, that's all I want to do, on this special precious moment from the pulpit. This was a truly special moment from a pastor who has died to himself.

God has killed him uniquely in order for him to stand there and say what he's saying. I came across Pastor Rob Eagality of Long Hollow Church in Tennessee, this is who we've been watching, because he and I think very similarly about teaching.

He and I think very similarly about the first century, incorporating historical contextual understanding to things like Jesus and discipleship. As a pastor, I was training my church's leaders to lead their various circles of influence more like Jesus.

But the way that I had to think through this, the way my brain works, I first had to go back and spend time understanding Jesus in his context. And as I was researching for these training sessions, I came across Pastor Robby's book, and he's been on my radar ever since.

And what is so striking to me, and I don't even think I fully understand this, what I'm about to say, but what strikes me is that God is teaching him exactly what he's been teaching me at almost exactly the same time.

And it's this, in order to be what God has intended for you to be, to obey him, follow him, to shepherd your church, you know, some of you are pastors who watch this channel, I praise God for that, in order for you to do those things, or to simply share the gospel, to defend the faith, make disciples, whatever is right in front of you at this moment, you need to die.

You need to die to yourself. You need to die to your own ambitions. You need to die to your own plans. And you need to let God live through you. Some of you are like, wow, that sounds really weird, Nate.

I know it does, but what do I mean by that? Well, I mean what Paul meant in Galatians 2 .20. I have been crucified with Christ. What is Paul saying right there? He's saying, I have died. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

In order to live by faith, in order to walk by faith, in order to abide in Christ, we need to die to all aspects of ourselves. But here's the reality. Many of us are not doing that. Why not? Because many of our leaders refuse to do that.

If we're looking for a model of behavior, it's not coming from senior leadership. For whatever reason, they are refusing to die to themselves in order to perform their ministry in a manner worthy of Jesus Christ.

And what is the end result of all of this? Synthetic fruit. Manufactured anointing. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about because I'm talking about your church. I'm talking about your leaders.

Your leaders are not being led by the Spirit of God because they are more in love with their plans. They are more in love with their ministry for God than the God of their ministry. And what happens as a result?

Your church is becoming spiritually dry. Maybe it's already there. The movement of the work of God has dried up. So here's what I want to leave you with. This is gut check time. I'm sorry for being so animated, but this is truly, truly important.

Thank you for watching until the end, by the way. God is at work right now in my life. How do I know that? Because I'm being challenged in very clear ways, and that's how God works. But you know what?

I see God's hand on Pastor Robby and Pastor Robby's church. Why do I say that? Six weeks ago, y 'all, I wrote this on the community tab here at Wise Disciple. And arguably, it took me a year and a half to just write this one community post.

Take a look at this. I pray that you are part of a church where your pastor has been uniquely broken to love you well. Jesus said, here it is, John 12. Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone.

But if it dies, it bears much fruit. I pray. This is still my prayer for all of you out there. I pray that you are part of a church where your pastors have uniquely died so that the special flavor of relational fruit overflows out of their service and preaching.

How can you tell if this is lacking at your church, what I've been talking about, what Pastor Robby is preaching about? Here's how you can tell. Does your pastor love you? Are your leaders sacrificially serving you?

Can you honestly say that? Do they know you? And do they love you in a manner that makes very little of them and very much of Christ? You know what? At the end of the sermon, by the way, I'll leave a link below to Pastor Robby's sermon, take a look at how Pastor Robby invites his church to pray and how he prays for them.

I don't think I've ever seen a pastor quite do what he does for his people. And that's sad because I think this is supposed to be the norm. Does your pastor and your church leaders love you enough to confess their own sins with transparency?

Do they love you enough to set aside their own plans for how they think church should be done in order to be sensitive to the special work of God that very often invades our plans?

Okay?

Doesn't look the way that we thought the plan should go, right? And don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about stepping outside the bounds of orthodoxy, okay? I'm being very particular about what I'm saying.

Is your pastor, in other words, inflexible? Is your pastor unapproachable? Does he refuse to listen to you when you come to him? Is he defensive when people challenge him? Does he often excoriate you at the pulpit without ever commending or encouraging you?

These are all red flags, ladies and gentlemen. It's gut check time. We're not playing a game here. We all need to do something about this. We need to go find ourselves a pastor in a church community that has been uniquely broken and has died for the sake of the glory of Jesus Christ.

Some of you have been on the fence about this. You've known for a while that you need to do something. Let this video be your motivation. Do something. Get up and go do something about it. Maybe it's time to go looking for those who have uniquely died outside your church.

Good. Leave. Because guess what? God is with those who are seeking to die every single day so that he might live through his people. I do pray that you find these folks. I got news for you, friends. These folks are rare today.

They really are. And I pray that you find them. And if you haven't yet, don't give up. If I can help you, let me know. Just keep looking. They're out there. And all I can tell you is, just go and let God lead you as you walk.

I got more videos coming up soon. Thank you for being with me. And until next time, I'll say bye for now.