Biblical Parenting (part 2)

Bethlehem Bible Church

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And then we'll move to our topics today. Any comments or questions about the book?

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I have a few comments and questions about the book, but anything you liked or disagreed with?

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Yes. It's easy to read? You mean like large font and a lot of white spaces around?

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It is a pretty simple read. Good. There's a few things

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I disagree with in the first few chapters, yeah, Erickson? Okay, good.

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I like that too. Eric? Okay, good.

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Sometimes we have a... I always call Eric Pastor Johanson. So thinking like a pastor.

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Any other comments? Yes, Steve? Maybe that got cut on the editor's floor or something, who knows.

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What I didn't like most especially was page 30. I don't know if you want to look that up.

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We're not going to do a book review today. We're going to continue our theme Common Parenting Mistakes and How the Gospel Applies, but I thought if I'm going to have you read the book, at least for the first few minutes of every class, we should just talk about it.

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Page 30 of the Gospel Powered Parenting book by Farley. God gives, the last paragraph on page 30,

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God gives new birth to the children of parents who please him. I wish that was the case.

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That would be a wonderful thing, but that's not correct. He says very next sentence though, neither the child nor the parent can earn new birth.

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So I found that fascinating. Top of the next page, page 31, he is sovereign.

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Sometimes he regenerates children of parents who do not please him. Sometimes new birth is sudden and dramatic.

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I crossed out sometimes and then it made sense. New birth is sudden and dramatic.

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When you are born, again, it is sudden and it is dramatic. Now you might look back in time and say,

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I don't know exactly when that sudden dramatic movement was, but when you were taken from the domain of darkness and placed into light, that was sudden and dramatic.

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Yes? There was a time you were not born again and there was a time when you were born again. There's not some kind of middler type of place.

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And so I just thought the next sentence even, the recipient remembers the day and hour.

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I just said some recipients remember the day and hour.

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From Martin Lloyd -Jones to myself, I'm not saying I'm in the same category, but you know me personally as a pastor and then there's a famous pastor,

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Lloyd -Jones, we don't know the exact day or hour. We know generally it's probably for me around September 1989.

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I could really tell my affections were different, my appetites were different, my hatred of sin was different, everything about me was different except my voice and that kind of thing.

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If you don't know the exact time, it's okay. What we're concerned about is making sure we understand that we are born again now.

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So that was my big problem with the book to start. It's just something like that and I'm not sure he even believes what he wrote.

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Yes, by the way, when you look at a book, there are things that can help you decipher the book.

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P &R, Presbyterian, and Reformed. Guess what kind of view they would have for baptism?

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They'd be paedo -baptist, infant -baptist, and so maybe some of that seeps in here and there.

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Any last comments on the book? Yes. Sometimes it's true,

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I remember when I wrote the first book, I thought to myself, I think I've used that quote earlier in the book or that story.

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And I did. And there's just, you know, can be so many words, so much information that you read and you think, did

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I just read that? And so, you know, good editors are important. I saw a mistake in a

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D .A. Carson book the other day and I'm sorry to admit it, but I said, yes, D .A.

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Carson's book has a mistake in it. An editing mistake because it happens to the best.

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Alright, the class title is Common Parenting Mistakes and How the

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Gospel Applies to Each. Who was not here last week? Just out of curiosity, several. Okay, so what we're trying to do is we're trying to look at mistakes that we make and then can the gospel help us.

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And so just in review, number one, we talked about mistake one, excuse parenting.

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Excuse parenting and so I did love Farley's quote on page 20,

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Parenting is not easy. If you could parent perfectly, your children would not need a savior.

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Because parenting is difficult and because you are imperfect, you'll need the grace that comes to you through the gospel.

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And so we don't have to make excuses anymore because of the gospel. We can say, I'm a dope at parenting,

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I'm sinful at parenting, I'm lazy at parenting, but I stand now with the righteous robes of another.

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I stand complete in Christ. It's okay to say you're a failure. It's okay to say,

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I repent. It's okay to say, if it's not for the grace of God, even my...

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You know, by the way, when he says for one sin, your kids should be damned to hell forever.

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Read that part when you're going to spank the kids and you can tell them, you know, just for this one sin. Can you imagine for one parenting sin?

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How many people have failed as parents? Sinning as parents. For one sin, parenting, we deserve damnation and yet we have so much and we're so rich in Christ Jesus.

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And so, what I love about being a Christian, whether it's husband and wife issues or parenting, I don't have to make excuses anymore.

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I can just fall on the proverbial sword, as I said last week, and say, honey, I'm guilty.

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I'm sinful. Do you think you have it in your heart to forgive me? Now let's move on and let's learn from what our mistakes are.

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Okay, number two. The second mistake we looked at was forgetting the high priority of parenting.

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Forgetting the high priority of parenting. Farley says in his book, children will live forever.

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This is a staggering thought. We cannot imagine forever. Nevertheless, the destiny of our children either will be love that surpasses knowledge or it will be weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

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There's no middle ground. Therefore, the parent that does not parent for this life only, the believing parent labors to prepare each child for the day of judgment.

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The stakes are inexpressibly high. True? Can you imagine those little children that you have?

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My kids, they will live forever. Now, how does the gospel apply to this particular problem or this particular issue?

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I mean, we have the remedy in the gospel. Yes, Erickson? And there's a solution to the dilemma, and God has given us a solution.

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Can you think even Jesus' name is God our Savior? And so we can preach the gospel to our children.

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And, you know, I was thinking about this the other day. If we want to make this a controversial, kind of no -compromise radio class, we can. And so,

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God is not trying to save every person on this planet. There's a lie, and that lie says

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God is trying to save everybody, but people just won't let him. Did you know there are people all across this world who never even hear the gospel?

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I mean, God's trying to save a bunch of people in China. Four billion people in China haven't even heard the gospel, and he's trying to save them?

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You think if he tried to save someone, they would all have the gospel? They would all get the gospel? People don't even get the gospel.

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How many Canaanites got the gospel? Jebusites, Hittites, how many people in India got the gospel before Cary?

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And the list goes on. But you have been given the gospel. That's a blessing already that your children have believing parents and have the gospel.

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And so, you can give them the gospel. You should teach the gospel to your kids as many times and as often as you can.

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I'm going to get ahead of myself if I'm not careful. So, let's move to that next mistake.

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Mistake number three on my list. I'm going to skip that one for right now. Mistake number three is accepting the first profession of faith, accepting your child's first profession of faith as valid.

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The first time they say, Daddy, I'm a Christian. What do you say? No, you're not.

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I liked what Gunderson said. The family's all together at home. You're in your favorite chair with a book, and the phone hasn't even disturbed the peace once.

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Then your seven -year -old daughter strolls over to you and quietly delivers a bombshell announcement.

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Daddy, I think I'm saved. Gunderson says, What do you say now?

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What do you say? No, you're not? How could you? What are the five points of Calvinism?

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I mean, what do you say? Yes. You tell me about it? Good. Okay. And you know what

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I like so far? Maybe it's just the ladies who do it. Both of their faces were kind of, you know, encouraging.

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You know, okay, that's good. I get calls all the time. Do you know so -and -so? I just preached the

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Gospel to them, and they believed. I don't know what to do, because part of me says, yay.

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They're not saying that, you know, Satan is God, so I'm happy that they're saying

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Jesus is God. But on the other hand, Luke chapter 8,

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Jesus said you throw seed out. Some people hear the word and they receive it with what? Joy.

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And they're still not saved. Puritans would always say, two things will show if you're really a

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Christian or not. Time and trials. So if your little seven -year -old comes over and says,

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Daddy, I'm saved, what I don't want you to do is say, no, you're not. Prove it.

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Well, I'm going to tell you what I believe about this, but now I want to get a little more input. Yes, Charlie? Good.

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I like that. Is there a book in the Bible that talks about present tense faith? That is to say, a book that really maximizes the idea that we're believing right now.

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Even for us as Christians, how do you get your assurance? If I were to ask you, what's your assurance based upon?

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Well, how do you base your assurance on something else? And I could say, there's objective assurance that says,

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I do believe the facts that Jesus was the God -man. He lived a perfect life. He died a substitutionary death.

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He was raised from the dead. He's going to come back. It's an objective truth about Christ. There's also subjective truth about Christ.

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And what do we do when a kid says, I believe the right facts? I'd back up, first of all, and make sure they understand the facts correctly.

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Tell me about this Jesus, because sometimes they don't even know enough about Jesus, because I want to make sure they understand the object of faith.

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And then for us, even, what's your assurance based upon? When did you believe in the past?

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When was the day that you got saved? Or, are you believing what? Right now.

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And that book is called 1 John. Believing right now. The tense, are you believing right now?

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And if you're believing right now, that's a good sign that you're a Christian. You don't see this well. Do you want to know if you're a

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Christian? Look back in time. So one of the problems when your kid says, I'm a Christian, comes up when 15 years later, and they've run away, and they've run off with some person, and they're living with someone else.

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We love our kids, don't we? And we want to believe that they're going to heaven. And so if we're not careful, we put our truth over the

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Bible truth, when we should be saying, what you said when you were 7 years old makes no difference now when you're living the way you are.

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Other comments? What I don't want you...

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Yeah, go ahead, Brian. Okay, good.

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I'm glad we're just kind of teasing this out. True or false? You cannot be satisfied with anything less in a child's profession of faith than you could in an adult's profession of faith.

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True or false? I mean, we might be able to argue a little bit here and there, but what am

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I driving at? Okay, how about the basics of obedience?

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So if somebody came to us as an adult and said, I now believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, you would say, wonderful.

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Time and trials? No. You'd say, that's great. And then you would expect fruit in their life that the Spirit of God produces.

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You'd expect them to obey. Things like what? What would be some of the things that they would do? Okay, the reading of the

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Bible? I thought you said secret sensitive. Secret prayer?

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Prayer? Okay, good.

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Asking for forgiveness? Yes, Charlie. Changing your tongue, guarding your tongue?

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How about for our church, baptism? I want to obey Daddy and get baptized. Daddy, I want to have communion.

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The one that I always wonder is, if God saves someone, according to 1

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Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4, they have been given spiritual gifts. Now, we don't expect a brand new

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Christian to act maturely in their spiritual gifts, exercise their spiritual gifts, but we expect them to exercise their spiritual gifts.

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Carmen, were you going to say something? Fellowship with other believers? That's exactly right.

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I think what we want to do is, especially at our church, if we don't believe in easy -believism for adults, then why do we want to believe in easy -believism for children?

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And I'll tell you the reason. We love our kids. And it's a response that we like.

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Daddy, I love Jesus. I'm telling you, that's a lot better than you have someone walk into your office and say,

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Daddy, I've got news for you. I hate Jesus. Don't we want to hear?

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We love Jesus. He died for my sins. I think you should encourage the profession, but I think you should say to yourself,

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I have kids who want to please me, and if you're like me, I think I can pretty much talk my kids into anything.

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I could talk my little kids into believing, maybe not so much now, but into believing in Buddha. And they would go,

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Okay, Daddy says it's right. Daddy's talking about that. Daddy's, even the way he's looking at me and egging me on.

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I mean, when the kids get older, I do crazy things. There's a church up the street, and I'll just all of a sudden be driving the kids, and we'll just pull into the parking lot of this particular place.

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And I'm thinking it's time for an object lesson. And I'll say, we'll stop and pull up, and there's a little statue over here.

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And the statue, it's a woman, and she's got some kind of halo over there, and she's got a little rosary around her neck.

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And that statue is Mary. And so I tell the kids, Out of the car.

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What, Dad? Out of the car? Do you not understand that?

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Please get out of the car. So they get out of the car. See that right there? I want you to bow down to Mary, and I want you to sing,

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She is exalted. Just change the lyrics and say, He is exalted. She is exalted on high, and I will praise you.

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And just bow down one time, kiss Mary's hand, and get back in the car. The kids are like, What planet are you from?

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Children, obey your parents, for this is right. I'm like, Dad. I said,

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You are to obey me. And I try to look as seriously as I can. You are to obey me. And they're like,

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Well, not in that, because it's children, obey your parents. In the Lord, for this is right. And so I try to do some of those crazy things.

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And I remember one time, we had some other kids in the car, because we were carpooling, and I thought, We'll just do this for fun.

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You think the parents heard about it? They're no longer at this church, but I think they left for other reasons.

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True or false? Children are easily deceived. We're easily deceived.

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Children are easily deceived, because they are immature in life.

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And if they even are a Christian, they can be immature with their walk as well.

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I think people who are little, little children, respond positively to the gospel for lots of reasons.

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Maybe to please mom, maybe to please dad, maybe because they don't want to go to hell. I think that's probably good.

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I just want to remind you that an early childhood response does not settle the issue.

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True or false? Many children who respond early to the gospel turn away when they're older.

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Now, that's not going to prove a point because of some experience, but I think it's true. And what

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I don't want you to do in this church is to have a child respond to the gospel early, and then you use that profession to inoculate them, and inoculate your minds forever to say,

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Signed, sealed, and delivered. We're on to the next thing. How does the gospel apply? Well, it applies because it can rescue a person with false profession, and it applies that we ought to be preaching the gospel to our children on a regular basis.

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And I want the Sunday school teachers preaching the gospel on a regular basis. I like kids with good manners, do you?

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They're nicer to be around. But there's something more important than good manners, and that is they need to be saved from their sin.

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Let me ask you this question since this should stimulate your thinking.

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Why don't the elders of this church baptize 8 -year -old kids, 5 -year -old kids, 10 -year -old kids, 11 -year -old kids?

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Why do we wait till 12, 13 -ish or something like that? And by the way, there are some of you here who disagree with the stance of when do we baptize children, baptize a person.

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But why do you think the elders, given us the benefit of the doubt, to some degree you trust us or else you wouldn't be here.

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I've met people before that basically have said, I don't trust you. And I'm thinking, I'm teaching you how to go to heaven through the scriptures.

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You've got to give me some trust. My father would say, I trust you as far as I can throw you.

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And that's, you should trust me some, but only as far as you can throw me. If I teach the Bible, trust me. But if not, but why do the elders wait until children are older?

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Becky. Okay, take that off the tape.

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Okay, good. Now, we don't want to get into the whole baptismal issue now. It's very difficult for an elder board because there has to be a cut -off date.

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Generally, right? Two -year -olds. I mean, my kids were really little. I would say, do you love

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Jesus? You know, the answer was yes. And then I would say, praise the Lord. And so the thing that I always taught the kids, when

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I say praise the Lord, and you just take your two hands and you go like this. So even when I'm feeding them, you know, they're eight months old, praise the

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Lord, up their hands go. Because I thought, get it out of your system now. I'm just kidding. I don't even know what

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I was going to say. Let's change gears. Can smaller children be saved?

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I think there are cases. Edwards said that there was a child four who showed evidence of saving faith.

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That may or may not be true. I think if Spurgeon was younger, I think he wasn't in his sevens or eights, but I think he had some people who seemed to respond well.

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I think children can be saved. Children get saved through the preaching of the gospel. Preach the gospel often, regularly to them.

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And I think you're going to be in good shape. If I have a kid who says, I believe, I'm going to encourage that faith,

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I'm going to examine that faith, I'm going to come alongside of them and say, now you've been sinning in this particular area, and this is what the gospel can do and help you get rid of that sin.

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Let's talk about your hatred of sin, your desire to please the Lord, and we will just have that person be a work in process and underlining my thinking will be, time will show if you're really a

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Christian or not. If you start acting like you're not a Christian, I'll tell you, Christians don't act like that. If you want to call yourself a

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Christian, maybe you are, but you should have no assurance that you are when you're sinning like that.

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Why do the elders wait? Because if we said three -year -olds can get baptized, that would be too young, you'd all agree with me.

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Seven, eight, nine, we just think that in the Bible there's nothing said of a child who believes that doesn't function like an adult in a church environment, and that is spiritual gifts, and that is church discipline.

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I don't think too many five -year -olds could be involved in discipline in the local body, and so we just wait till later.

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And so, whether we're right or wrong, for us the good news is you can go to heaven without being baptized, yes?

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And so, some come to the church and they say, how about this, I've got five kids, two of them have been baptized at seven, and then now we're here, and now my four -year -olds are now seven, and now they can't get baptized?

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And so in many ways we're thankful here that you just submit to the elders and say, we disagree, we go along, but we would part ways in terms of the belief.

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Do you know at this church we don't even do baby dedications? You ever seen a baby dedication here?

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Do I believe in baby dedications? Yes. You having a child, and you take that child, you know, dads, you ever get to cut the umbilical cord?

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Better with a knife, you know, they give the scissors and all that stuff, and you think, cut it, and then you feel like you did something, right?

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Oh, okay, wow, I got to do something. Here are a few ice chips, you know, and I got to cut the cord. It's kind of bringing the men in.

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What was I going to say? Baby dedications, yes.

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Baby's born. Thank you, God, for this baby. I just watched a baby come out of my wife.

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Wow! Life! So I say out loud to all the nurses and doctors,

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I have a standard line for those of you who are pregnant men. You got to make sure you say this about your wife who bears a child, and you say this loudly.

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Ain't evolution grand? And then don't say anything else. Just go back to your business. Because you see this baby born, and someday, maybe not that day, maybe back in the room, or maybe when you get home, you should get down on your knees and say,

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God, this child is a gift from you. I dedicate this child to your service.

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Save this child at an early age. And like Hannah, I dedicate this child to you.

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I believe in that kind of parent dedication. But if, you know, there's a rub between infant Baptists and believers

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Baptists, and so we think, you know, somehow we kind of rob our children, so we'll have this kind of in lieu of service, and we'll dedicate the children at the service, and I don't think you'll see that as part of a

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New Testament service in terms of singing and preaching and praying and all that, so we just don't do it.

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If you want me to help you dedicate your child to the Lord, I can, but if you're living and you know the

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Bible, and many of you know the Bible very well, you could say, God, these are your children. Yes, Joni.

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And I think it's important with children to see the fruit more than adults. The New Testament wouldn't say, the people in Jerusalem, we need to see some fruit before you get baptized.

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But we do like to talk to people before they get baptized. Do you have the right object of faith? Do you have the right profession of faith?

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Do you understand the Gospel basics? Do you understand Baptism? And so we do talk about those kind of things to the adult.

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When Jesus preached the Gospel, did he have a child's Gospel and an adult Gospel? No, the Gospel was, even after all the facts were presented.

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By the way, are you sure you really want to believe? The Luke 9 and the Luke 14, counting the cost.

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You know, when I go to India or South Africa, third world country, even years ago when I went to Mexico, you see these buildings that are half -completed and then abandoned.

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Right? Czech Republic, half -built, abandoned. Because they didn't count the costs. It's the same thing. Kids, you better count the costs.

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I mean, what about our children today? What do they ever give up for the sake of the

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Gospel? That's why in our particular family, I remember, I mean, I live in Lancaster, home of the

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Seventh -day Adventists. And you can't find a Saturday basketball league.

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You can't find a Saturday knitting class because everything's shut down. In the Seventh -day

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Adventist bulletin, you open it up and it shows you, sundown 653, sundown the next day 652.

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You can't do anything all those days. And so Luke likes to play basketball.

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And I say to Luke, listen, I can't do a Sunday league every day, every Sunday. Maybe once in a while if you do something,

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I'm not saying it's always a sin to have some sporting event on Sunday, but there's a cost to following Christ.

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And the cost is you have to say no. You know, why are we in Lancaster? I don't know.

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Does anything good come out of Lancaster? There's a lot of things I could say. But we're in, you know, tofu world, and we have to live in this environment, and that means they reserve

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Saturday as the Lord's Day, or Sabbath. We have the Sunday as the Lord's Day.

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And they're just things you have to say no to. I actually like it because a kid, what does your kid lose because they call themselves a

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Christian? What do they have to say no to that everybody else gets? It's few and far between these days.

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And so I'm not a big let's repeal Sunday soccer leagues. I'm actually glad they're around, because then you're going to wake up and say, you know what kids, we're going to have a priority, and that priority today is not sports.

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And God will honor that. And if God's going to make you some Olympic basketball player, then he'll do it later in life.

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If not, it's just a pastime anyway. It's a good, healthy pastime. I like to sweat, and shoot, and score. But the answer is, the gospel and your

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Christian walk cost you something. It's hard to teach a little five -year -old, the gospel is going to cost you something, little mister.

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Gotta get up early, daylight savings time. But as they grow, then the choices manifest themselves, and they go, okay, this is how we think through the issue.

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Let's do the next one. It's not in my notes, but I want to do it anyway. I'm kind of in a pickle here because we've got some brand new parents, some parents -to -be, parents with teenagers, parents with young kids, and so I'm going to do a whole session on spanking, so let me do some things on older kids, just because I think this will make it interesting.

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Let's do another common mistake. I stole this from Danny Akin. Mistake number what am

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I up to? Four. Don't have any fun with your kids. Don't have any fun with your kids.

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I'll never forget it. The sanctuary was flipped around. Danny Akin said, here's the most important parenting lesson I could ever give you.

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Have a lot of fun with your kids. You mean like memorize scripture, catechize them, go to the rest home together with them, and he said, have fun with your kids.

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Was he right? I personally want to be my kids' most fun

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I was going to say friend, but we're not always friends to our kids. I want to be more fun than any of my kids' friends. I want my kids to say

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I've got an option to go do that today with my buddies. Are you going to go with dad to go over there? And I want my kids to say my dad will by far be crazier and wilder and more fun than those kids.

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Why do I do that? Well, partly it's kind of fun, but partly when you're off over there doing things, you can teach the lessons.

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You can teach spiritual lessons. How does the gospel apply to this particular one? I think it applies that we don't have to earn our salvation, and if you had to earn your salvation, you should be out going door to door to door every day of your life.

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When people knock on the door and say, hi, I'm with the Jehovah's Witnesses, and I'm here to make you try to drink this spiritual strychnine,

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I say a lot of things to them, but one of the things I say, if I'm testy enough,

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I say, you know, there's only 144 slots, 144 ,000 slots for heaven, and there's been quite a few other

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Jehovah's Witnesses around here that seem to be doing a lot more work than you are, so I suggest you better get working harder, because how much work do you need to do?

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They seem a lot more zealous than you seem, and so then I try to tell them that if it's work to get to heaven, when do you stop working?

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Seriously, if we could all just get a little glimpse, let's just take a look at hell for about five minutes, and then we were told in the

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Scriptures, you work your way to get to heaven. Wouldn't you just work like a maniac?

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I'm telling you, you would work day and night, and you would never sleep nor slumber until you fell asleep at the wheel, driving to the next place.

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But now for us, how does the Gospel apply? If we're saved, if we believe in the sovereignty of God of salvation, if we believe that Jesus is our rest, if we believe that it's good to have some time where you can just rest and have leisure and say,

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I can even use this as a teaching time, spending dedicated, I like that, by the way, in his book where he says, find some dedicated time with the kids, one -on -one.

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I remember just, Kim was in California with Gracie, she takes a different kid every time she goes to visit Grandma.

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So I had an Outback gift certificate, and I took Maddie out on a date to Outback. It was no big deal, and I'm just thinking, okay,

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I'm busy, and I've got all these other things, I'll take Maddie out, and here's how a gentleman should treat you, and open the door, and here, and what to do, and how to order, and everything.

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I mean, Maddie and I were so tight after that, it was just like I gave her some kind of pill.

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I love Daddy pill, or something, just like, Dad, you know. And Maddie's the kind of girl, you know, she's like opposite of Gracie.

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Gracie's like, hi, how are you? Maddie's like, you prove it to me. I'll be nice to you eventually, but you're going to prove to me that you're genuine.

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And so, there were times we could just sit and talk about things, and let's talk about life, and the whole time wasn't, alright, now, um, what's the tense of the

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Greek verb in 1 Corinthians chapter 2? We just talk about life, and what we're going to do, and you can talk about general revelation, special revelation.

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I'm not saying your number one goal with your kids is to have fun, because they need to be entertained. But if you're there, resting, and spending time with them, think about all the things that you could teach those kids.

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There's a lot you could teach. I'm going to say more, but comment so far on that. Yes, Charlie. Mike Pearl, I...

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Yes. Well, that's good.

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It's easy for me to have fun with the kids when they're little. It's harder for me now when the kids are getting bigger.

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Kim's really good at that, because what the kids like, well, by the way, we just basically influence our kids, this is what you're going to like.

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We don't say it like that, but this is pretty much what you are going to like. This is what's cool, this isn't what's cool.

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We kind of just, you know, mold them. For instance, Luke is into snowboarding.

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Okay, I still ski on some 230 old fissures or something.

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I'm not really into it, but I think to spend time with Luke, that's what he's into. And we go skiing together, and then the next thing you know, it's like,

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Dad, did you just smell that guy's breath next to us? He smelled like marijuana. He's like, yeah, a guy smoked marijuana on the lifts, and we talk through the whole thing.

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And I sit and tell him, you know, the bad news is for you, Luke, I've done all the horrible things in my life, and if you try anything like that,

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I'm going to find out right away. You're going to think you're going to sneak around, but I'm going to bust you.

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And we just talk about what these issues are, and I think it's okay to sometimes not have fun with your kids.

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There are serious things involved, of course. But I want you to be able to have fun with your kids, and make a determined effort.

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I want to make sure my kids like me. There are higher priorities in life,

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I'm telling you that. But I think it's a mistake to run around thinking, you know, we've got to go do this, and we've got to go do that, and we've got to go do this next thing.

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You can have fun at the Rest Home Ministry, you can have fun when you go clean the church, you can make fun out of anything, but I want the kids to think, if I had a choice to go hang out with that rebel down the street, because some kids are attracted to the rebels, aren't they?

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Don't do this, they want to do it. That they say, you know, that's just fun, we just enjoy hanging out together, and I think

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Christians, I can't really back this up from Scripture, but I think we should be the most fun, the most exciting, the most interesting people, because we have been known by God, and we know

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God, and if we know God, and understand how the universe works, then I don't have to fall for all the world's garbage, and I can teach my kids about joy, and fullness of life, and we're just going to have a great time.

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Here's this world that God has given to us for His glory, and if you're a Piper fan, then you can say, as I enjoy

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God's kingdom, and His earth, and His gospel, it gives me joy, and satisfaction, and happiness.

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We've got some glum Christians around here, and I wish you were happier sometimes, you glum ones, and I wish your, if I said to your kids, do you want to go hang out with me today, or do you want to go hang out with your dad?

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I want all your kids to say, I'd rather hang out with my dad. I don't want them to say, I want to go hang out with the crazy pastor.

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I mean, lots of times I just act crazily, because A, I'm crazy, but B, I try to do that, because I want kids to go, you know what, it's exciting to be a

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Christian. It's not always, you know, five star. There are some things that we just do on a regular basis, and we look at Ecclesiastes, and we can enjoy life, even through the mundane.

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I get all that, but it's exciting. You know, you're saying to your kids, you know, you follow me, and be a

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Christian, and you're going to have the worst life ever. You're going to have all my joy, you're going to have all my wonder, and amazement, and fullness of life.

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You follow me, and let's get back to that catechism question 91. You know what, when people laugh, there's a lot of truth to that.

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Yes. Absolutely.

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And, you know, we all fall short, but how do we apply the gospel to this? When we do fall short, we ask for forgiveness, and then we move on, and say, how can we live this life, you know, underneath the glory of God?

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And, you know, the parenting book by R. Kent Hughes and his wife, Godly Parenting, or something like that, they make a great point.

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Talk about fun. This isn't in my notes, but I think it's important. All the kids in the neighborhood, whose house should they go to?

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Which one are they, where do they say, this is where we like to go hang out. I mean, you know what, if you go to our house in our driveway,

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I've got skateboard ramps, skateboard pipes, skateboard grinding things. I hate skateboarding.

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Why? Because I'm not good at it. But, it's just all the stuff, and then now we've got the kind of teenage kids coming over, skateboarding.

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But guess whose house they come to? I guarantee you, and this is mainly Kim's doing, not mine. I guarantee you, when kids in the neighborhood, boys or girls, say, there's one house we want to go to and hang out.

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Guess where they go? Because the kid down the street, his dad works all the time, and doesn't have any time for the kids.

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They want to come to our house. It's like that story that floored me. I've been so convicted since I've read it about five months ago.

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Diary of a Dad, Diary of a Son. Diary of the Dad. Took my 10 -year -old fishing the other day.

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Had too much work. I got behind in payroll. Didn't really get anything done. I'm behind for the week.

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The kid's diary. My dad took me fishing. I'll never forget it as long as I live.

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On a real personal level, things could be a lot better at this church if I did them.

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But sometimes I just let them go. Because God's going to build this church anyway. And we're never going to have a super excellent church if I just spend all my time doing it.

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And I think, you know what, it's more important for me maybe to have a sermon that's not as good. It's not an excuse for a shabby sermon.

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Or not to do something or not to visit you at your house because I think my kids aren't more important than the church, the

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Bride of Christ. But my kids are more important than running around trying to keep everything held together.

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Because if I have to hold it together, it's not worth it anyway. So my kids are going to rule. And so, people here are brand new people.

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Say, do you have a visitation ministry? I do. Haley, Luke, Maddy, and Gracie.

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I visit them all the time. And I'm trying to live my life so five nights a week I'm at home for dinner, tucking the kids in.

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Do I spend, you know, do I work until midnight on my sermons? Yes, especially on the days I need a bike ride.

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But I'm going to try to work and I hope it shows in my ministry. But I want my kids to be top priority in terms of the time that I can spend with them.

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And especially when they're getting older. It's even more critical. Yes? In a minute they'll be gone.

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Haley's already 17. Luke's 13. We're talking about schools and colleges and all these things. But anyway,

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I think it's okay as a Christian because you don't have to earn your salvation to have fun with your kids. If your kids are 17 and they don't think you're fun, today's a good day to start.

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Why don't you just go home and say, you know what? I'm the biggest bore of a dad. I'm the biggest strict mother that I've ever met.

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And I'm sick of myself. I don't want to do it anymore. And I've fallen so short. Would you please forgive me?

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I've asked God to forgive me. Would you please forgive me? And then don't say, you know, well what do you want to do?

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By the way, if you're single, is anybody single here? Some are. You know, if you're a single guy and you're going to take a lady out on a date or something, would you want to go out and just don't call her and say, what do you want to do?

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Anyway, that's the dating class. Just start today.

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Danny Akin was right. His kids now are all older in the ministry. He just talked about having fun with them.

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Of course, teach the Bible. Of course, pray for. Of course, be involved in the life of the church. But I want to be a fun dad.

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I want the neighbors to think, you know what? Here's one of my favorite things in life. When all the neighbor boys are hanging out and we're all playing and sometimes the guys think they're pretty tough.

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They're 15 years old. They start lifting weights and I'll say, oh yeah, you should come over and we should lift a little bit. They go, how much is that?

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I don't really know how much it is. Let's just get a feel. And I can usually feel how much weight it is when I kind of lift it. And then

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I just get down on the flat bench and then pump out about 20 sets. It feels like a couple hundred pounds,

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I think. And then all of a sudden they go, your dad's a what? Your dad's a pastor.

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That's a great feeling when a kid says that. Because they're thinking pastors have to be some dweeb.

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Pastors have to be some kind of boring, milquetoast person that just sits around and looks at esoteric verbs.

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Although that's kind of fun. Ever study enomic heiress? I know Bob has. Enomic heiress. We don't have to work for our salvation.

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And you don't have to work for your kid's salvation. Because you can't earn it either in spite of that erroneous quote there. You want not to be lazy.

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There's a means to the end. But I think we can have some fun with our kids. Find something your kids like to do and do it with them.

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Find something that you want your kids to do and get them excited about doing it. And if you have to make less money at work, make less money at work.

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You make your choices. Your choices are 80 hours a week because I've got to pay these bills. I've got to have this job.

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Well, you made your choice. I'd rather even have somebody leave Massachusetts and leave this church to go take a job someplace in the sticks to say

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I can now give my family 20 more hours a week because I don't have to have a higher standard of living. I live in Kansas.

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I'm not trying to run people out of the church. You've got one life to live for your kids.

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We all have to work. Moms wake up at work and dads go to work and there are differences and split families.

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I understand that but there's one life to live. Okay, I think we're out of time.

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Yes, Fred? Maybe it's a bad example but I took the kids biking yesterday and we were trying to get into some rail trail down by Blackstone Valley and I couldn't figure out how to get in so I thought we're just going to kind of break in.

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Just climb up over the fence and I'm picking up the bikes and holding them up and over scaling these things.

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Okay, Haley, time to climb up and over. Dad, what are we doing? There's this silver paint and it's new paint by the fence that you're not supposed to be climbing over.

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I'm getting it all over my hands. I'm thinking we're determined. We're going biking and we're going to climb that fence and we're going to do it.

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And then I thought as I was driving home the kids are going to remember this day forever. Silver paint all around.

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Dad the pastor breaking the law. TNG camera right down the street.

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Now I wasn't really breaking the law but I was thinking about that the whole day yesterday. I thought I need to study.

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I've got the parenting class. I've got the sermon. I'm not going to preach here Sunday night. It's always I've got to study. If my kids see me with eight and a half by eleven paper, guess what they say to me?

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Working on your sermon, Dad? Part of that's just my job but I want them to not just think this is some dour life.

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Alright, well there's so many things to talk about. I want to go have some fun with my kids. And by the way, your attitude about things is going to reflect upon the kids.

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So if you say, let's go to church now. I hate these songs. All those hymns. Those special newfangled songs with Merrick's on the bongos and Charlie's up there with the guitar.

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That just drives me batty. Whatever you say, your kids are going to mirror those things.

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So if you sing heartily to the Lord, I have to say to you, as I look around sometimes, there's some kids here, your kids, that don't sing songs.

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Your kids sing songs. It's not even an option in our family. I don't want to sing,

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Dad. Well even if you're a pagan underneath and you're going to go straight to hell today if you die, you're singing these songs. So here's how we sing at home.

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I've taught you from a kid. Here's how we sing. This is what we do. You're at church. You sing songs.

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And I see some of our kids, your kids, who sit down, I don't mean a toddler, but who are 10 years old and go,

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I'm not going to stand for those songs and sing. Aren't you the parents? You're singing those songs.

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Pagan or not, you're going to learn to sing and you go, well, I'm just kind of creating a hypocrite. No, I think you're being hypocritical.

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You need to teach and to lead. Maybe you say, well, it's just your own preference. Okay. At minimum, it's my preference.

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Teach your kids to sing. You taught your unbelieving kids to give when they were still pagans.

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Or maybe you didn't. All right.

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We won't meet for about a month. Because next week, my brother will be here preaching.

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Then we have Christian Andresen coming. There's a Resurrection Sunday service. So we've got about a month.

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All right. And so, this is an easy book. Literally, you could read it in about two days. Let's get at least halfway done.

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So you've got one month to get halfway done. Okay. And if you don't get the book read, what should we do to the people that don't get the book read?

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That want to sit in on class? Is there anything we could do? All right.

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How about this? You just have to stand up and do a Bible memory verse, longer than Jesus wept.

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And you just have to say, navigator style, 1 Thessalonians 2 .13, say the verse, 1 Thessalonians 2 .13,

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and then you're able to come in. How's that? Make them sing. Make their kids stand up and sing.

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Let's pray. All right. Father, thank you for this day. We are thankful that we can rehearse the gospel even today.

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We are sinful. We are fallen. And Lord, for me, and I know for these dear people, not one of us, parents like you want us to, and parents like we want to, we fall short.

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We miss the mark. So Lord, now we look to you, great God and Savior, who has forgiven us for all these sins, given us the

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Spirit of God so we might obey. We pray, Lord, today as a church, that you would do something great in the hearts of our children.

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For those that are saved, Father, we just pray that you would help mature them and blossom them in their faith.

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And for those that aren't, I pray that you'd use these parents to continue to teach the gospel that Jesus Christ is a great