February 23, 2020 Show with Dr. Beth Robinson AND Dr. Latayne C. Scott on “Talking with Teens About Sexuality: Critical Conversations about Social Media, Gender Identity, Same-Sex Attraction, Pornography, Purity, Dating, etc.”

Live from the historic parsonage of the 19th century gospel minister George Norcross in downtown

Carlisle, Pennsylvania, it's Iron Sharpens Iron.

This is a radio platform in which pastors, Christian scholars, and theologians address the burning issues

facing the church and the world today.

Proverbs chapter 27 verse 17 tells us iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens

another.

Matthew Henry said that in this passage we are cautioned to take heed with whom we converse and directed to

have in view in conversation to make one another wiser and better.

It is our hope that this goal will be accomplished over the next two hours and we hope to hear from you the listener with

your own questions.

And now here's your host Chris Arnzen.

Good afternoon.

Cumberland County, Pennsylvania,.

Lake City, Florida, and the rest of humanity living on the planet earth who are listening via live

streaming at ironsharpensironradio .com.

This is Chris Arnzen your host of Iron Sharpens Iron Radio wishing you all a happy Tuesday on

this 23rd day of February 2021 and I'm thrilled to have back on the

program two returning guests who have co -authored a book together that you

must know about that you must purchase that you must put into the hands of

parents and teachers and anyone who has any crucial

involvement with children in their life and that book is Talking With Teens About Sexuality

Critical Conversations About Social Media, Gender Identity, Same -Sex Attraction, Pornography,

Purity, Dating, etc. and the authors of that book are here with us today.

First we have Dr. Beth Robinson and not only is

Dr. Robinson a professor of psychology and counseling at Lubbock

Christian University in Texas, Dr. Robinson is a licensed

professional counselor and approved supervisor for licensed professional counselors, a certified

school counselor and a teaching with a teaching certificate and a frequent

expert witness in legal proceedings involving sexual abuse so it's my honor

and privilege to welcome you back to.

Iron Sharpens Iron Radio.

Dr. Beth Robinson.

Thank you Chris.

I am excited to be here and I'm looking.

Forward to our discussion today.

I am as well and we also have joining us a frequent guest on this program Dr. Latane C.

Scott an award -winning veteran of the Christian publishing industry having written over two dozen books

and having earned a PhD in biblical studies.

And they are both the authors of the aforementioned book Talking With Teens About Sexuality and I'd like

to give our oh let me welcome you to the program as well Dr. Latane C. Scott

and let me right away give our listeners our email address.

It's chrisarnsen at gmail .com.

If you have any questions for Dr. Beth Robinson and Dr. Latane C. Scott that's

chrisarnsen at gmail .com.

And as always please give us your first name at least your city and state of residence and your country of residence if you

live outside the USA.

Only remain anonymous if your question involves a personal and private matter.

And obviously a subject like this would easily lend itself to people

asking personal and private questions.

So you don't have to be apprehensive about identifying yourself.

Just feel free to be anonymous.

But if it is a general question one that would not embarrass you or identify someone

involved in a situation that you would rather not publicly identify and etc.

Well obviously you may feel free to remain anonymous but please give us the minimum

location and name information that I requested if you are asking a general question.

Well first of all Dr. Beth Robinson I know that

you and Latane have already written before together.

The last time you were both on this program

you were addressing a previous book that you had both written together

which is called protecting your children from predators how to recognize and respond to sexual

danger.

And why is it that you felt compelled to write this new book

with Latane talking with teens about sexuality.

Since there have been many books it seems written about

this issue.

Especially in the 20th and 21st century a lot of Christian counseling ministries

offer books like this.

Why did you see a need for a unique look or a fresh look or a

specific look that you and Latane have to offer that isn't already

available.

Two things really led to this.

Chris the first one is.

20 years ago I repeatedly had

youth ministry and

the second thing that really led to this is I

thought that Latane and I brought a pretty unique partnership to this type of book with her

deep theological knowledge and my counseling knowledge and I think it shows in the book that it's

a very nice melding of a good understanding of scripture and

theology with and I

mean a lot has gone on.

In the area of sexuality over the last decade even less I mean even even over

the last two years and even over the last year and even over the last several months.

Uh God's law on this issue or these issues regarding sexuality has

never changed and will never change.

His canon is closed.

And there is though however a new way where new ways

in which those who hate the scriptures those who hate Christ

either consciously or unconsciously they come up with ways all the time to not only make

sexual activity that is forbidden by God in his word tolerable

but now we have escalated from being demanded to tolerate

whatever the world seems deems fit in regard to sexuality.

We are and people have lost careers

and have been damaged in many other ways by opposing the status

quo of the 21st century on sexuality.

But if you could just name some of those reasons that even caused you

a necessity to update your book or update your thoughts on the subject

20 years ago we were not.

Dealing with social

media people didn't really struggle as much with the gender

question transgender all those issues that our teens are hitting so early.

The open acceptance and affirmation

so it it literally is a different.

There's very little in the book

as you stated it's a

climate that wants to affirm that

are contrary to what the bible teaches and I just want to call.

Parents and teens back to what the bible teaches.

Well in fact since you have even identified your co -author dr latane c scott

as the biblical theologian who contributed to this book not that you didn't offer some of that

as well yourself but dr latane c scott.

What is God's.

For sex.

Well he created sex so he's not ashamed of it.

And he uh he.

Um and you talk about celebrating he.

God celebrates sexual relationships between a man and his wife.

In fact he demands it.

He commands it.

Actually he commands it.

He commands it and he celebrates it.

You know he's not.

He's not just commanding.

And he's going to punish you if you don't right.

It's that he wants you to find joy in it.

Because he finds joy in it.

It's part of the um the joy of sharing in creation

from a child for instance.

Um it is a creation of a new thing that doesn't exist or shouldn't exist anywhere else in a person's life.

You know it's unique.

And um we're seeing in our culture today is the and

if you just watch network tv

exciting and healthy and and

good.

Fewer instances I like

medical medical dramas and so.

But if you watch any of the medical dramas that are on now very rarely do you

see I want

to.

Before we go any further read an endorsement.

Uh that is a pretty powerful endorsement for this book jim daly who

is president of focus on the family a world -renowned ministry that

uh does.

The very thing that it names that its name suggests.

It focuses on the family and all the areas of life how

the family is affected by the world and the answers to those conflicts in the scriptures.

But uh jim daly writes.

Helping kids navigate our sex -satuated morally confused culture

can feel like an overwhelming task.

With the younger generations facing a barrage of unbiblical messages about sexuality

doctors beth robinson and latane scott have prepared a comprehensive manual to help

parents instill in their kids a godly view of sex.

That was definitely a wonderful gift that you received in a commendation

coming from someone with the reputation and the renowned

uh blessings that focus on the family have provided to the

body of christ and to the public at large.

Quite impressive.

Let me just read one more.

Since he is a mutual friend of dr latane see scott in mind perhaps even beth robinson as

well.

I don't know.

But dr efflegard smith who i've known.

Going back to the 1980s he is the compiler and narrator of the daily bible.

Dr smith says my father bless him would have benefited greatly from reading this book before giving me

the talk the talk.

He puts some quotation marks for parents attempting to navigate today's daunting sexual world.

This book draws from the talk to another father the one who

gifted us with sex and lovingly tells us how to handle it.

Well thank you dr smith for that impressive commendation.

And uh when when we uh talk to children i don't have children myself.

But when parents talk to children about sex i'm sure there

is on the part of some uh great embarrassment.

Uh not that they are in any way in their own minds embarrassed about the gift of sex.

But they are perhaps timid and nervous about what to say

and what to withhold when discussing these matters with children.

Uh first of all dr robinson uh how young should a child be before you even open up this

conversation.

Or do you wait for them to start asking questions.

Well we start teaching kids about sex before kids about

sexual safety.

If our kids

feel comfortable they'll come ask us questions.

And we definitely don't want to force conversations.

We want them to ask us questions.

Civil moments on a

tv show scott mentioned where you know you

see these medical dramas and it's never a husband and wife having sex together.

They're having sex with everybody but who they're married to.

You can ask your kids did they notice that and what did they think about that.

And then you listen to them.

And if they have biblical values then you've done a good job.

And if they don't then you ask a few more questions and you make some references to what the

bible teaches.

But to be honest the talk doesn't work.

We don't want a talk.

We want an ongoing conversation.

Which is why the subtitle is critical conversation.

We should be comfortable enough to have multiple conversations with our kids at all different ages about

sexuality.

You know if we don't the rest of the world will address it and teach them

values we don't want them to have.

I was just in a meeting with youth ministers and one of the youth ministers said i wanted to make sure

that i had the seed in the soil before anybody else talked.

Something that might have to look at as a parent is

we want to be the first person who talks about it.

And the.

Person who talks about it yeah i remember it's i'm 59 years old.

And uh perhaps you have these same kind of experiences where there were certain things

in your even very young childhood that are burned into your

memory forever just because there was something dramatic or traumatic about it.

But i remember that my mom started to tell me about sex

when i was a very young child.

I i was probably asking her questions that led to these conversations.

And i i believe i must have been even younger than kindergarten age or or perhaps

in kindergarten.

And i remember i went out and blabbed this information to my friends in the street and

my my friends would then in turn tell their parents and there were some angry parents in the neighborhood

that i beat them to the point or to the punch of telling their children about what

how where children came from and uh so i vividly remember that.

So i uh know that parents uh should want to be the first ones

to tell their children.

Do you think that's something that is far too often uh an issue

that uh parents want to leave in the hands of other people they want to pass

that responsibility on.

And uh and how do they do that.

In in certain ways i think parents don't consciously think they

want to pass that on.

I think they just do not realize how much sexual content children are exposed.

They believe they're going to have this talk and

this talk.

You know when the kids are 11 12 you know

where do babies come from is the beginning of sex education and how parents handle

that and have those conversations.

And i can tell you that i had a child living in my home but

when he was in third grade he came home

and didn't know.

I mean he was beside himself because he was about to get in trouble at school with the other kids

because all the kids were passing around pornographic magazines then you know and today it's so much more

easily accessed online.

So i don't think parents necessarily decide that somebody else.

They want somebody else to do it.

They just think they have a lot more time.

To get around to it than they really have.

And in fact if a biblical preacher is opening up the word of god

faithfully and he is preaching from the whole council of god uh

there should be children in that room when he is preaching and those issues are going to

come up.

Not graphically of course and not in detail but the obviously even when

exegeting the bible sex comes up it comes up a lot.

Actually it certainly does and you know i

have.

Preaching ministers don't talk about the sections of the bible and that's a huge

when we don't teach.

It when it's clearly in the bible.

Now let's suppose.

And perhaps you could even chime in dr latane c scott because you are a parent your children

are adults now.

But uh you have had the experience of raising children in a christian home

uh.

But dr robinson we'll start with you.

You already said that this should be an ongoing conversation and not like a

talk in quotes that is like ripping a band -aid off and getting everything out

uh as quickly as you possible possibly can to get it over with uh everything within reason.

And then uh vow never to bring it up again.

But uh.

But what at least uh should be initial.

Should a initial conversation be.

Perhaps your child hasn't asked at all.

Perhaps your child uh or children are very shy by nature.

Perhaps something about sex embarrasses them.

Uh they know something uh about sex is naughty and they may

wrongly even think that it's naughty if mommy and daddy are doing it.

But what should be the the bare minimum of an initial conversation do you think.

Or is that.

Impossible to have a cookie cutter answer to that.

In an ideal world those early conversations would be about

before

the introductory concrete

and frequency and in topics discussed as

kids get.

You know there are so many people kind of want me to identify what a teachable moment is

exactly.

But the reality is if you're if you're open to it and you recognize what your kids listening to in

music or what you're seeing at the mall all kinds of things are there

that you can talk about and teach from without lecturing kids just being curious and saying what do you think about that.

And those are the teachable moments.

And kids lives are filled with teachable moments where we teach godly values all the time not just about

sexuality but we should include sexuality as part.

Of what we teach and dr scott in your own experience did you now that you

know more about uh a more proper and biblical way to teach

your children about sex.

Did you make uh big mistakes in that area yourself or are you surprised that you handled the

situation pretty well even now.

That you look back at it with more wisdom

behind you.

I know i made

mistakes as

teenagers.

Yes it was

available.

Speaking from my my experiences with my daughter um and and my

husband with our son we had the concept from the way our parents handled it that the mother

was supposed to have the talk with the daughter and the dad was supposed to have the talk with the son.

And that they would feel open after that to come and ask questions.

Well i think um our son did feel that way and and that he was

open but he was always trying to play gotcha.

You know like i bet mom and dad don't know this.

You know we'd say yeah.

But our daughter was just the opposite.

Um she she was a very innocent child.

And when i started to talk to her about menstruation she was astonished at all this.

I mean she just i mean you could tell she was baffled.

Why would i be bringing this up.

And could it possibly be true.

You know.

So what dr robinson said you know are different.

But they do have things.

I wonder if the parents still want and thinking that they should have that

one conversation like their parenters

know to get ahead of those

conversations

about without that embarrassment or even that astonishment

that my daughter had.

So i want to say you

know latane raised her kids in a different time than today too though.

Because like i said even 20 years ago it was so different than it is now our kids are literally

saturated with sexual information through all the technology that

i cannot overemphasize that enough there's just so much more exposure.

Even things that might have been effective another generation ago.

Yeah i.

Mean it's it's just absolutely everywhere.

And uh as you were even mentioning before dr robinson it's typically not

the godly expression of sex between a husband and wife.

It is predominantly fornication adultery and homosexual

sexuality that dominates the the airwaves dominates

television and movies and all kinds of media.

And it's just inescapable in this day and age.

It's just insane how how it has affected everything.

Even now in commercials where you have many commercials that are intentionally

including homosexual couples.

Not that they're doing anything openly sexual in the ads but it is being obviously

depicted that this is a romantically involved couple of the same gender.

Whether it's life insurance or whether it's anything else uh that you can uh

service or product that you can purchase.

They've included the homosexuals in that.

But we have to go to our first break right now.

If anybody would like to join us on the air with a question of your own our email address again is chris arnzen at gmail

.com.

Chris arnzen at gmail .com.

C h r i s a r n z e n at gmail .com.

As always give us your first name at least city and state of residence and your country of residence.

If you live outside the usa please only remain anonymous.

If your question involves a personal and private matter don't go away.

We'll be right back with dr beth robinson and dr latane c scott.

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Our guests today are dr beth robinson and dr latane c scott.

They are co -authors of a new book that we are addressing today talking with teens about

sexuality.

If you have a question of your own contact us via email at chris arnzen at gmail

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Give us your first name at least your city and state of residence in your country of residence if you live outside the usa and

only remain anonymous if your question involves a personal and private matter.

And dr robinson what's happening developmentally when it comes to

this area of sexuality.

And

our teens well they

figure out who

they are tempted to integrate

into their identity because it's the

other thing that really hits.

Develop.

Teens really believe that consequences don't apply

to them.

Difficult even though

other other teens

get stds socially and emotionally our teens

in this generation are less mature than previously.

Security and could be because of interacting with technology a lot but they don't have

the social skills and the relationship skills that previous generations had and they're going to need

more assistance more coaching from.

Their parents on what healthy.

You know you said something uh a very

key here when it comes to complaints that i have heard for many years from christian

women and this was brought up again in an interview that i had recently with dr

phil kaiser on biblical romance right before valentine's day we did a

discussion on this.

But i've been hearing complaints from christian women for years that

one of the and i'm speaking about single women that they are frustrated

that your average christian young man is completely and utterly devoid of social

skills and that they are very awkward.

They are very unintentionally insulting.

Perhaps they are uh very uh overly

standoffish introverted perhaps fearful of being involved in any kind of realistic

conversation.

Do you have anything to say about that.

When it comes to a parent's responsibility especially since the difficulty here is that you get

generation gaps where some things that parents might want to teach their children to say or do

to break the ice to socialize in a a way that makes

them attractive etc some of that may seem totally antiquated when

you're trying to teach your children that kind of thing.

But if you could just pick up the ball there.

Well i like the amount.

Of time their kids are interacting with technology but that they do develop those

social skills.

But we

have allowed

group dating

then with security

and we're going to

have two children

board game

and there's not quite the stress on them that there is

to carry on a conversation without something else to do.

And you know a great way to to teach social skills

project for somebody there's not as much pressure on them about social skills and yet they learn some skills along the

way.

But the biggest thing i would say is

by the way uh dr latancy

scott i've probably forgot to.

Mention this but as you may recall me saying to you in the past uh whenever we have a

co -host on a program or or somebody who uh is a

fellow guest but would like to ask questions of the other guests on occasion since i cannot

see you visibly i can't see you waving your hand i can't see any facial expressions.

If you have a question or even a comment uh just dive right in there.

When you sense a lull or when you hear a completed sentence feel free

to feel free to jump in.

I sometimes forget to remind my guests and co -hosts about that when we're doing something on the

air.

But we do have a listener uh we have bb in cumberland county

pennsylvania who sent in a question.

And bb says in philippians 4.

In verses uh eight through nine

uh we read.

Finally brothers and sisters whatever is true whatever is honorable whatever is right whatever is pure

whatever is lovely whatever is commendable.

If there is any evidence and if anything worthy of praise think about these things.

As for the things you have learned and received and heard and seen in the in me practice these things

and the god of peace will be with you.

My question is if we are to have our children think on these pure and

wholesome things these honorable things.

How do we risk polluting their minds and thoughts with discussions of

sex that is condemned by god obviously there is nothing dishonorable about

marital sex.

But at the same time there is a lot going on in this world that our children should know about and learn about

before they hear it on the streets as you were saying before.

So how do we bring up issues such as homosexuality transgenderism.

And the list goes on and on without unnecessarily scarring or polluting.

The minds of our children.

Okay things.

Anyway that's the point that unless the children

don't use technology these things are already going

to be.

A parent

doesn't

have

to introduce stuff to their children if their children are on any

kind of social media at all even on the playground at school you know.

So you're not polluting their minds.

Uh satan's already doing that technology's already doing that.

You have to be proactive.

Of course that she's the expert on this but um a parent has to be proactive in addressing those things

and being tuned in enough to their their child that they know what's coming across the child's radar and

the thing that i would.

And to teach our children to be firmly

grounded in truth so they're not swayed.

Culture.

And if we don't talk about it culture has

yes.

And uh and if if our listener bb wants to chime in to the further clarification

uh i'm assuming that some of her question may involve.

Or could i don't know if bb is a she i'm sorry about that uh he or she.

Um i'm sure some of the question may involve.

Uh what amount of detail is necessary to bring up when you're talking about

perversions.

When you're talking about abnormal unnatural uh damnable

uh abominable things involving the sexual world.

Uh how far in detail do we need to go where we are.

Perhaps even scarring the.

Minds of children.

My rule of thumb about a conversation about any you

give them just a information and then if they come back with another question you answer the question.

Then more information the

babies come from and mom says and the kids okay with that.

You don't explain how a baby gets in the tummy.

So you know that's attunement to your child

a bit of it.

Now let.

Me ask you a question.

Uh i can vividly remember as a young child uh watching tv with my

mother and my mother was born in 1925.

I don't know if this was unusual.

Even for somebody who was born in 1925 this could have been an unusual thing.

It might have been a typical thing i don't know.

But i remember the subject of homosexuality came up on whatever tv program we were watching

and my mother said did you do you know that.

I didn't even know there was such a thing as a homosexual or homosexuality until i was in my

30s.

Now we find that unbelievable today utterly amazing and unbelievable.

But is that a a good thing that that she was totally ignorant of.

Even the existence of that i think in her generation it was

i think that was much more.

Typical i think.

The same thing my mother asked my

mother that question but i suspect my mother part of

the beauty of that generation is there was an ability to protect christian

children teens young adults from some of this inappropriate

sexual behavior that they're exposed to now you know it can't just be social

media tv.

That was pretty typical for that generation i think.

It was much easier for them to be protected and naive.

Is that though a healthy thing when you're trying to prepare

a child for what's going on in the world that they're not totally caught off guard and shocked when they start to

discover things like this.

I would say in this day and time i would not i would not say that that would be healthy in this day and

time at all because you can't have the conversation.

I would

certainly want parents and and that's part of

what's covered in the book.

I i hope in a in a gentle way and in with a biblical worldview and try to

provide information both culture and what kids are being exposed to today

to prepare parents to have.

That's i think another thing that we that

are

sinful but providing scriptures and conversation starting points about what

the bible says that's good about

it.

About

creativity and his the way that he put on each child each person

he created a uniqueness that you lose if you try to be subsumed

by your culture.

For phoebe

and the

scripture that she brought up about higher things that's the other component

of sexuality is talking

about uh lovely and uplifting

in them.

They think it's

a good starting point to start.

I think that.

You may have referred to our listener as phoebe but it's bb.

Oh baby i'm so sorry.

That's why i didn't know if it was a man or a woman uh.

Well thank you bb.

And uh if you give us your full mailing address you have received a free copy of

talking with teens about sexuality by our guests today dr beth robinson and dr latain

c scott and our friends at cvbbs .com cumberland valley bible book service

will ship that out to you at no cost to you or to us.

So thank you very much for for participating.

Uh there is a phenomenon that is somewhat interesting

uh that people who are millennials and younger i have

noticed in my conversations with them they respond to

things that are outside of the the biblical limits

of marital sex.

They will respond to things like homosexuality and transgenderism in a much different way

than even the unregenerate friends.

And uh the myself being unregenerate growing up uh

as a teenager and so on being far from uh

you know pure and pristine and holy we were very wicked kids uh.

But we knew that homosexuality was wrong.

We knew that it was abnormal.

We knew that it was unnatural.

But we responded to it not with any kind of christ -like compassion because we didn't have christ

we had no gospel to offer a person like that who was involved in that kind of sin.

Uh now obviously we don't want children or anybody

to be mean -spirited and cruel towards people who are involved in a particular sin.

And i and i know that in our day and age being mean spirit being mean -spirited and cruel

are uh defined as just being opposed to those things to being critical at all.

So i'm not talking about i'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about.

We obviously don't want people just to be mocked uh with the sole intention

of hurting their feelings.

We don't want people to be threatened with violence or actually receive physical violence.

We don't want anything like that as christians.

Obviously.

But there seems to be something lost in that instinctive understanding.

This is wrong.

This is just not natural.

This is strange.

And when i speak to young people in their teens and even in their mid to late 20s

i'm surprised at their reaction to me as a christian even those that i know very well

they start to put on the brakes in the conversation.

And whereas they might have once completely thought of me as this really nice

christian guy who has their best interests at heart all of a sudden i'm speaking in their minds

like a hateful bigot.

Uh how do we approach the issue with young people who have been brainwashed basically that

that we not only accept and tolerate people with these different views of sexuality and these

different practices of sexuality but we're supposed to celebrate them with them not just tolerate them.

How do we respond to those young people that begin to accuse us of

hatred and bigotry and beth perhaps.

You could start and

latane you could chime in.

I can i can say that we

see being impacted by the

because of that they believe this

is just for a personal opinion rather than just being

a matter of biblical truth.

And that's what i love.

That latane brings to the book is her depth of.

Understanding a biblical truth.

In fact latane if you could do that when we come back from the midway break uh because we have to go into

that i don't want to interrupt you in mid -sentence.

So folks please be patient with us as this is our midway break in the show it's longer than

the other breaks in the show because grace life radio 90 .1 fm in lake city florida requires of us

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Write down as much of the information as possible provided by our advertisers so that you can more frequently and

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If your question involves a personal and private matter we'll be right back after these messages with dr beth robinson and

dr latine c scott.

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Before i return to our guest today dr beth robinson and dr latane c scott as we

continue our discussion on their book talking with teens about sexuality we just have a couple of

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Chris arnson at gmail .com and dr latane c scott you are just about to

answer my question about how to tactfully

approach the subject with our teens.

Whether you are a parent or whether you work with teens in church or any other realm of life

who make the accusation.

Wow you have these harsh views against homosexuality.

They should be able to find joy and fulfillment in life through the sexuality

they have just like anybody else.

Why are you so hateful.

Why are you so bigoted.

They've been brainwashed to think this by our leftist media and so on.

How do you tactfully respond to that and explain to them that this is really being motivated by love of god and

love of his truth and love of people themselves.

Where you would try to warn them about the dangers of pursuing sexuality and anything

else in life that god forbids.

Well.

Two things chris one is that it's pretty hard to read romans chapter one with any kind of a

monthly

um that god

does

connected with acting

on homosexuals put you

in the

same uh some

of the other sins of envy and murder

and slandering and hate.

But the other

thing

chris that that

i is really important.

And that is that because uh homosexual behavior

kids don't

know

how don't know what the boundaries are.

Entire chapter in here about intimacy and boundaries.

Kids don't think.

You know they think twice now about going to the movie with their best bud.

You know the same gender.

And so because of this unsureness about intimacy they do

what dr beth mentioned.

They don't even go on dates.

You know as much as they used to boy girl dates.

They go out in groups be

accused of somebody the wrong

way

older.

That doesn't

land

just describing the different kinds of intimacy

you can have without having sexual intimacy.

So again rather than this just

what is good and what is appropriate and what you shouldn't have to be afraid of.

Just some definition

or not no matter what our culture might tell us your

best friend giggling is not a homosexual act

it is a a perfectly normal and good act that people become afraid of or afraid of what people.

Are going to say i hope i answered your question.

Yes uh you.

In fact you reminded me of the fact that there have been homosexual activists who have

tried to brand people from the past as being

fellow homosexuals because of things that they wrote or ways that behave that

today are considered very strange and abnormal uh

for a heterosexual to say to somebody of the same.

Gender you might find some.

That's a great biblical.

It's a great biblical example of that uh chris and.

It's uh david and jonathan.

Yes because there are homosexual homosexual theologians who have.

Tried to claim that they were homosexual.

Yeah when actually they're showing um great emotional intimacy with one another

that was not sexual so good at

showing is that you can be um emotionally intimate with somebody and not be sexually

involved with them.

And that never enters the heads of many of our young people that there is a dividing line and that

there are good it's

helpful to one another and yet we're not sexually involved in any way.

Now.

Now dr beth.

Robinson um i think we as christians

uh should be informed about things that have some

uh connection to the realm of the psyche and there are things

that uh perhaps your average person doesn't understand about

uh how the mind works.

In fact there is nobody on earth who fully understands or even comes close to understanding how the mind works

uh.

We have to on the one hand not be taken over by uh

every wind of doctrine or teaching that may come out of the the

secular psychological world uh where we are guilty of

spewing psycho babble as it were.

But at the same time there are things that we may learn about human

behavior that uh are not necessarily spelled out word for word in

the scriptures even though the scriptures are sufficient for all we need to know for godliness

and for salvation and so on.

But but there are questions that i don't even know if anybody has the uh

the 100 accurate answers to.

But the things that will very often come up with people who are

christians and even non -christians is how does somebody become a homosexual.

Like for instance there have been theories that if if some if somebody

is a male with same -sex attraction a

major factor in that has typically been that they had little to no

relationship with their fathers they might have been abandoned as a young child

and left to be raised by their mother alone or primarily women in the family.

They have a craving for that uh male love that turns into a perversion

and the opposite the mirror image of that uh would be the the female going through

the same experience where they may have been raised by a father.

And they long and ache for that female love and compassion and tenderness.

And you know you have all kinds of things that are brought up uh as reasons.

Like i when i see documentaries and i've seen several of them about

uh especially homosexual prostitution.

Every single male prostitute i've seen interviewed in a documentary said that they were molested

as a child either by a family member or neighbor.

Or what have you.

Can we say that we know what.

Causes these things.

I don't think we can say that we know it.

You know obviously children who are sexually abused it is going to impact.

They're going to

struggle sometimes with gender sometimes with homosexuality because the abuse

created so much confusion for them.

I i don't think there's definitive research.

You can you can get somebody who will gather all the research on one side or the other.

But when i'm talking to college students one of the things i say is we don't have definitive research

on what causes somebody to become an alcoholic but yet we recognize that

alcoholism is not a healthy behavior.

And i think that we go back to scripture and we look at what god commands us to do

and we focus on putting our lives into

behaviors and the world that god wants us to be turn away from

the worldly influences that want to debate.

I find it very interesting that the debate often becomes what causes

comes instead of how do i align my

sexual preferences with what god wants me to do.

I think that should be our focus.

I said i find it very interesting that people want to debate what causes it.

There are lots of things in our lives from a psychological perspective that we don't have.

Definitive research.

I guess one reason.

One reason might be that they want to prevent it in you know with the children they see that maybe in those

circumstances of having a one -parent household or having the knowledge

that they have been molested or something like that they want to try to make sure that.

I certainly want to interrupt.

No no go ahead.

I certainly want

if but i know that

they're always pretty young.

If the research is definitive on that i

would much rather a single parent protected their child from being abused than that a single parent worried

it's a mom and she's got a son and she's so worried that he'll be

homosexual that she brings in.

That may not be they are because the number one

risk factor for children being sexually abused is single parents.

Marry them

or just bring them into.

Now as far as uh a single mom uh bringing men

into the uh relationships with her children

and also perhaps a single dad doing the same with woman uh wouldn't you say

that that is healthy when you're not talking about a romantic relationship that the parent has

with this person but it's a brother or sister in christ from church somebody with an excellent reputation that

is showing uh appropriate biblical affection and

compassion and love and caring and tenderness and discipleship and on and on we could

go.

Isn't that a good thing and a healthy thing.

Children.

When there are other adults present or other children present yeah it is still a huge red.

Now uh would you say that would be true even with uh teenagers.

Uh when you when you're having like a guy who recognizes that a widow or divorcee

has a son who has no biblical male role model in his life he wants to go camping with the kid or

take him out fishing and hunting or be involved in some kind of sporting activities either as a participant or

as a spectator.

I mean when the person when the child is older i mean is there any red flag that should be going on with.

Their attention or isolated attention.

We just see too many instances where situations

are abusing kids and people don't believe the person anytime.

A lot of one -on -one time with a teenager it

would be a huge red flag for me a

teenage a male teenager with him to go fishing or

hunting if he's not taking a group.

Take a group not a red flag one -on -one.

And we do have an.

Anonymous listener who says correct me if i'm wrong but i think dr

latane scott was saying earlier that there's a difference between same -sex attraction and

being physically involved in making those attractions manifest

in physical actions.

But aren't they both serious sin.

Just as having adulterous thoughts or thoughts of fornication or other thoughts

that involve sex outside of marriages are sins why wouldn't homosexual thoughts and attractions

be in and of.

Themselves.

Sin.

I'm glad to address that.

There's a difference between having a

temptation.

We can't.

I don't believe the bible teaches that we temptations else jesus

would not have been tempted in all points as we.

The idea a parent can

say to empathetically is you know i've got a problem with overeating or

i've got things like that.

I battle that all the time but the fact is that it exists.

And i battle.

It is different because there are people that are

born.

It seems that there are people that have inclinations which

of any sort

is a substance.

Yes i

respond to those things.

But we all have temptations.

Every one of us has some some sin that we have to

fight

some.

Chime in on

this nation

nation society presenting

so many images in front of our children things occur to them that never would have occurred

to them if they had not seen such an image.

The point is not whether or not that temptation or that idea is there.

Is what you do with it.

You fight it or do you

give

into it.

Dog and uh.

And secretives.

It's

any.

I think you covered it very well.

Well i have much to add to that.

Well here's where.

Uh i let me.

Tell you where i am.

As far as being opposed to a mindset that has grown immensely in popularity today

even in very conservative churches and denominations and fellowships.

Uh there is a concept that i'm opposed to.

Where you have even ministers who will identify themselves

as gay but they are celibate.

And there seems to be in their minds nothing wrong with having a proclivity or

inclination towards this sexual proclivity or inclination towards the

same sex as long as they don't do anything physically about it.

And to me uh that is dangerous.

Uh it is also a sign that the person is waving the white flag to sin

and saying god cannot change me or won't change me.

This is what i am.

They they are.

They are identifying themselves by a sin.

And uh where even if these people are chased

it seems that it is bringing into the church an acceptance of this

condition that the bible is totally foreign to.

If you follow what i'm saying perhaps you could respond to that.

And uh if you want to start latane and then we'll have dr robinson chime.

In yes um

i i

think the best

example she

left that all of her sin behind but she says

that sometimes these thoughts pop up in her mind and she has to fight them because because satan

doesn't leave you alone once you abandon a sin and so i would

be celebrating um an identity that god uh

can't realizing that people

are going to deal with certain sins all their lives.

These thoughts don't go away.

The temptations don't go away.

And it's what you say about them and what you do with them in your example saying i

recognize

sin to

feed

this and occur to him apparently by

the way.

As you may know i also know rosaria butterfield personally and have interviewed her on a number

of occasions and she's written a glowing commendation for the show.

But i know that she is very opposed to the gay christian movement

where people are ident who are identifying themselves as gay even though they're

chaste.

She's like for instance she does not introduce herself to people as a lesbian christian.

No she does not.

You're right.

And she doesn't even believe that.

That is uh a a a genuine or healthy or correct

way to a worldview or a way to identify people people

identifying themselves by a sin.

One of the reasons i you may know this about me i don't know but i had a very uh serious

uh addiction to alcohol and uh was a backslid into

public drunkenness to even a scandalous level for a number of years after 18 years of

sobriety.

And uh i recognize and one of the things that drove me to repentance is that the sin

of drunkenness is something that the bible clearly states is among those other sins like murder

and other all kinds of sexual depravity that will send you to hell.

If you don't repent uh.

And one of the things i do not like at all about the 12 -step

program community a a n a and anything else related to that is the

constant identifying uh as the sin from which you repented.

I don't tell people i'm chris arnson and i'm an alcoholic uh i tell people i'm chris arnson and i'm a

former drunk who was delivered from that the grace and mercy of christ.

You follow what i'm saying.

And we have to go to our and i agree and we have to go to our final break right now.

And this is going to be a lot shorter than the other breaks.

But if you intend to send in a question please do it now because we are rapidly running out of time.

Our email address is chris arnson at gmail .com chris arnson at gmail .com.

As always give us your first name at least your city and state of residence and your country of residence.

If you live outside the usa only remain anonymous.

If your question involves a personal and private matter don't go away.

We'll be right back with dr beth robinson and dr latane c scott and more of our discussion on talking with

teens about sexuality right after these messages from our.

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iron radio.

Uh one of the things that we didn't really speak about much is the whole confusing and baffling

uh concept or idea or sin uh known as transgenderism.

It is something that even divides those that would consider themselves a part of the lbgtq

community.

There are even those who are involved in homosexuality and lesbianism who are opposed to

transgendered athletes being given the freedom uh if you are a biological

male to compete in the same competitions with women and all kinds of things are going on.

And it's really baffling that people act as if they are thoroughly knowledgeable

experts on this issue when they are just speaking whatever is the popular trend of

that day from a particular element of society.

But if you could dr robinson.

And what what do we have to what should we learn today.

Uh you know that's a very brief portion of time that perhaps we could discuss in greater depth later.

But what do you have to say about this phenomenon.

Are you there dr robinson.

I'm sorry i think it has become more of identity formation again.

For developmentally we have teams who are searching to understand their identity.

And because this transgender issue it has gained so much media attention

um that then we have adolescents who are kind of trying it on as an identity where

with good biblical uh instruction and conversations they kind of move

through it as a phase and re -embrace their god -given gender in many many

cases that that's that's the counseling perspective.

But i'm going to tell you where i learned the most in writing this book

learning from what came about this.

From a biblical perspective.

You know i was greatly affected by

nancy purse.

We have the um we have

the privilege these days of understanding what.

But we have confirmation through

dna studies that people are born being with

their gender the

outside portions.

You could give hormones you can do all these other things and you still won't change a person's dna.

There's so much confusion.

I see this is

one of the few

cases where we can as christians

technology and say created an

email and the

confirmation

uh from the scientific world who

is

transgender and you have to accommodate you have to

the person is an is a male or a female

and not what they're adopted their body to look like.

Yeah.

Isn't it interesting how the left has flip -flopped on so many things.

They're against color blindness which they used to be in favor of which everybody should have

adopted the idea that you don't judge a person in any way by their skin color or their appearance.

Uh.

And yet the left is now saying no that's wrong.

We have to focus on the fact that whites are inherently evil and blacks are in some way

morally superior etc etc.

The same is true with this issue.

I can remember growing up and the liberals were right uh when they would say

don't dare say that a boy is a sissy or that there's something wrong with

his gender uh affiliation or what have you.

Because he likes to cook or he has

a talent in this area or that area that might be typically or most commonly

enjoyed and practiced by a girl or a woman.

And the same thing with uh don't you know dare call a young girl a lesbian because

she likes to fix uh things mechanically.

And she likes uh sports and she likes outdoor activities like hunting and fishing.

Well today you have the liberals and the leftists saying oh that person's transgendered.

You know uh i think that you should start hormone injections and perhaps consider surgery immediately when the child is

only eight years old which is just in my mind satanic from the from the core.

But obviously we there is much more we could say today but we don't have time to say.

I want to thank you both for being such superb guests.

And if anybody wants to find out more about uh dr beth robinson uh you can

go to the lubbock christian university website which is lcu

.edu lcu .edu.

Do you have any other contact information you care share.

Dr robinson no that's the best place to reach me right there.

And latane c scott's website is latane .com latane .com.

That's l -a -t -a -y -n -e dot com.

I want to thank you both for being such superb guests.

I want to thank everybody who listened today.

And i want you all to always remember for the rest of your lives that jesus christ is a far greater savior than

you are a.