Great Christian Biographies with John Piper: David Brainerd 2

The Severity and Consistency of Brainerd’s Suffering

The thing that strikes you about the suffering of Brainerd is not simply the severity of it.

But the.

Consistency of it. He always.

Suffered.

From the time he was a student He never had relief for any significant amount of time. It was a relentless.

Sickness and.

He pressed on in his work Second Brainerd struggled with Relentlessly recurring depression. He came to understand this a little. I think Edwards said that at first he attributed far too much to Spiritual desertion and far too little to the disease of melancholy.

That's their phrase the disease of Melancholy and so his later judgments about what was happening in his blackest moods. Were a little more balanced than his earlier ones, but it was a horrendous thing.

Nevertheless, and this was his greatest torment not the tuberculosis. He did say that he detected a very profound difference in the melancholy after his conversion and the melancholy before his conversion as though a great Rock had been inserted underneath his life So that he never despaired of the electing love of God.

After his conversion a great gift to him in his darkest Days, he would say repeatedly Black God is gone. But I do not doubt.

His love.

Things like that. A Few words of his own to give you a flavor of what he experienced. Much of it was owing to his intense hatred for the remaining sin in his life. November 442 tis distressing to feel in my soul that hell of corruption which still remains in me.

And His sense of unworthiness was so intense that it sometimes just paralyzed him. January 23rd 443 scarce ever felt myself so unfit to exist as now I saw. I was not worthy of a place among the Indians where I am going.

None knows but those that feel it what the soul endures that is sensibly shut out from the presence of God. Alas tis more bitter than death in fact. Again and again he compared it to death and I wrote down 22 places where he longed and pleaded that he would would die.

Sunday February 3rd 1745 my soul remembered the wormwood and the gall. I might almost say the hell of Friday night Last and I was greatly afraid. I should be obliged again to drink of that cup of trembling which was Inconceivably more bitter than death and made me long for the grave unspeakably more than for hidden treasures.

Sunday 44. December 16 was so overwhelmed with dejection that I knew not how to live. I Longed for death exceedingly. My soul was sunk in deep waters and the floods were ready to drown me. I was so much oppressed that my soul was in a kind of horror.

How Depression Affected His Devotional Life and Preaching

What compounded this experience for Brainerd was that the depression began to infect and lame his devotional exercises and his ministry of preaching. March 943 road 16 miles to Montauk and had some inward sweetness on the road.

But something of flatness and deadness after I came there and had seen the Indians Withdrew and endeavored to pray but found myself awfully deserted and left. It was immobilized sometime in his distresses.

September 46 was scarce ever more confounded with a sense of my own unfruitfulness and unfitness of my work. Then now oh what a dead heartless barren unprofitable wretch. Did I now see myself to be my spirits were so low?

My bodily strength so wasted that I could do nothing at all at length being much overdone. Lay down on a buffalo skin and sweat much of the whole night, but Brainerd pressed on and did not quit. He never quit.

Loneliness and the Need for Christian Companionship

Third. Brainerd struggled with loneliness. He tells of having to endure profane talk of strangers one night. April 43. Oh, I longed for some dear Christian who knew my distresses a Month later. It says most of the talk I hear is either Highland Scotch or Indian.

I have no fellow Christian to whom I might unbosom myself and lay open my spiritual sorrows. With whom I might take sweet counsel and conversation about the heavenly things and join in social prayer. December 1745 he wrote a letter to Eleazar.

Wheelock will come back to him in a minute. He founded another college under Brainerd's inspiration. He wrote I doubt not. By what by that time you have read my journal through you'll be more sensible of the need I stand of a companion in Travel than ever you were before.

And I read two nights ago this quote that we all can empathize with. I think about. He didn't want just anybody a horse wouldn't do and a carnal Christian wouldn't do. He wanted a soul companion. He wrote there are many with whom I can talk about religion.

But alas, I find few with whom I can talk religion itself, but blessed be the Lord. There are some that love to feed on the kernel rather than the shell.

He.

In his last 19 weeks was nursed by Jerusha Edwards. She was 17 and In all likelihood it was a precious relationship he speaks of a of an Unparalleled precious acquaintance never names him or her but most people think that they did have a Warm and spiritual relationship in those last days fourth Brainerd struggled with immense External hardships as a missionary in his first mission to count a make in 43.

He said I live poorly with regard to the comforts of life. Most of my diet consists of boiled corn Hasty pudding, etc. I lodge on a bundle of straw. My labor is hard and extremely difficult and I have little experience of success to comfort me In August of that year.

He said in this week Week week to be a K in this week state of body. I was not little distressed For want of suitable food had no bread nor could I get any. I am forced to go or stand 10 or 15 miles. For all the bread I eat and sometimes tis moldy and sour before I eat it if I get any considerable quantity.

But through divine goodness, I had some Indian meal of which I made little cakes and fried them yet. Felt contented with my circumstances and sweetly resigned to God. He was frequently lost in the woods his horse his car broke down.

Again, and again his his horse would get poisoned his horse got a broken leg his horse got stolen all of our car experiences. Happened to missionary back then as well with this lung condition picture yourself now Trying to be warmed in the winter in a hut with a fire again and again.

The smoke would so fill the room. He he would almost lose his breath. He would have to go outside in the cold and he said I would either be Dying of cold outside or I would be smothering in the smoke inside and he's alone Totally alone 15 miles from anybody in the wilderness with tuberculosis and heart disease.

And smoke filling his house and 29 degrees outside or whatever the struggle with external hardships was Not the worst struggle, but it was an amazing one and he Resigned himself to it like this is what he said.

Such fatigues and hardships as they serve to wean me more from the earth and I trust will make heaven sweeter. Formerly when I was thus exposed to cold rain, etc I was ready to please myself with the thoughts of enjoying a comfortable house a warm fire and other outward comforts.

But now these have less place in my heart through the grace of God and my eye is more to God For comfort in this world. I expect tribulation and it does not now as formerly appear strange thing to me.

I don't in such seasons of difficulty flatter myself that it will be better hereafter. But rather think how much worse it could be. How much greater trials others of God's children have endured and how much greater are perhaps those reserved for me?

Blessed be God that he makes or he is the comfort to me under my sharpest trials and scarce ever. Let's these thoughts be attended with terror or Melancholy, but they are attended frequently with great joy so in spite of the terrible external Hardships.

Brainerd pressed on and indeed often flourished at the moment when he suffered most.

Brainerd’s Outlook on Nature and the Healing Means of Creation

Fifth.

Brainerd struggled with a bleak outlook on nature a bleak outlook on nature and We will forgive him for this quickly. I think because it is hard to look at a rose When you're spitting blood. But it is a great tragedy that he did not have more of Jonathan Edwards eyes.

He never said one thing about the beauty of nature. Never once did he talk of a sunset a sunrise a bird a Bee a flower and he lived among them always. Edwards on the contrary would take walks and horse rides in the woods.

He would see the Excellency of God everywhere echoes of glory in everything from a spider's web to the Sun. Brainerd had not one ounce of this appreciation for Nature. It was a howling wilderness.

To him.

Constant misery as far as he was concerned and the great tragedy of that is that The burden that he bore Blinded him. It seemed from the antidote to the burden God has appointed nature as a healing means.

For our souls, you know, one of the ironies here too is that Edwards did not see this. As far as I can tell Edwards complimented Brainerd for not having an imagination because It was imaginations that were wrecking the Great Awakening.

You see.

Enthusiasm as it was called excessive emotionalism was rooted in imagining things that had no grace in them and Edwards was just fighting and fighting against people who say oh, I saw the Lord. His arms were open wide to me.

He was enfolding me in his arms. I am his child and they live like the devil. Edward says this is no true grace. Your visions are nothing and so he he warmly.

Congratulates.

Brainerd for having no warm imagination. All of Brainerd's thought was rooted in a spiritual apprehension of glory. Well, there is a plus and a minus to not having an imagination. I'll tell you far healthier would have been the counsel of Spurgeon to sit long in one posture.

Pouring over a book or Driving a quill is in itself a taxing of nature. But add to this a badly ventilated chamber a body which has been long without muscular Exercise and a heartburn with many cares and we have all the elements for preparing a seething cauldron of despair.

Especially in the dim months of fog Nature outside his window is calling him to health and beckoning him to joy. He who forgets the humming of the bees among the heather the cooing of the wood pigeons in the forest the song of birds in the woods the rippling of the rills among the rushes the sighing of the wind among the pines.

Needs not wonder if his heart forgets to sing and his soul grows heavy. Nobody told him to open the eyes of his eyes. At least he didn't seem to hear or he didn't record if they did. But I repeat we will quickly forgive Brainerd.

Because it is hard to see when you're suffering. It is hard and yet let us Consider the lilies brothers. It was not merely Spurgeon who set us on this quest to open our eyes. Consider.

The lilies.

Love for the Indians and Faithfulness to His Calling

Sixth Brainerd struggled to love the Indians. He struggled to love the Indians if love is known by sacrifice. He loved them if love is also known by heartfelt warm affection and compassion. He struggled to love felt some compassion for souls and mourned.

I had no more. I feel much More kindness meekness gentleness and love toward all mankind than ever. He really did get great success in this from time to time felt much sweetness and tenderness in prayer.

Especially my whole soul seemed to love my worst enemies and wasn't able to pray for those that are strangers and enemies to God with great degree of softness and pathetic fervor but at other times he was empty of affection and Compassion for souls and he expresses his guilt for that that he had no more ardency and so little desire for their salvation.

44 November 2nd about noon rode up to the Indians and while going could feel no desire for them and Even dreaded to say anything to him. So Brainerd struggled with the rise and fall of love in his heart.

Loved he loved. But he longed to love more. I loved them father help thou my Unlove. And seventh he Struggled to stay true to his calling as a missionary. He struggled to stay true. Remember now he was expelled from college.

Cut off from the pastoral ministry bowed to what he believed was the call of God. Two missions after that breaking off of his pastoral journey and then Surprisingly was offered several pastorates along the way good ones, too.

He was offered the church at Millington near his home in Haddam in 1744 and he turned it down and prayed that God would send forth laborers to the vineyard and then he was offered the most lucrative parish in New York Long Island East Hampton.

Jonathan Edwards says it is the fairest Pleasantist town on the whole island and one of its largest and most wealthy parishes, that's a quote and Brainerd wrote on Thursday April 5th Resolved to go on still with the Indian affair if divine providence permitted although before Felt some inclination to go to East Hampton where I was solicited to go.

Now mark Mark this choice. He's spitting blood almost every day. He is alone. He doesn't have adequate food or shelter. The Indians are often unresponsive. He is offered a Parish his lifelong dream or his dream city was converted and he says no.

There were a lot of other opportunities, too.

He wrote I.

Could have no freedom in the thought of any other circumstances or business in my life. All my desire was the conversion of the heathen and all my hope was in God. God does not suffer me to please or comfort myself with hopes of seeing friends returning to my dear acquaintance Who is that and enjoying worldly comforts?

He has he has basically Surrendered them. He probably knows he's a dying man. Well, those are the seven struggles that I wanted to mention and now I want to turn to how he pressed on in these struggles.

Pressing On in the Christian Race

So he began with introduction to his life turned to the struggles and now thirdly to his pressing on. I Personally think the reason that David Brainerd's life has exerted the power that it has is because in spite of his struggles He never gave up.

That's simple. He was consumed with a passion to finish his race Honor his master spread the kingdom and advance in holiness. Absolutely consumed he could not Relent from his pursuit of the kingdom the honor of his master in his own Holiness, he had an unswerving allegiance to the cause of Christ so that I think we can all Empathize with Henry Martin when after reading him in Cambridge in 1802. He said I long to be like him long to be like him in spite of all this Strangeness and unhealth and Suffering there is something in this man that makes us say I must be like this.

I want to be like Brainerd called this passion to finish his race and not turn back a pleasing pain.

He said.

When I really enjoy God, I feel my desires of him the more insatiable and My thirstings after holiness the more Unquenchable. Oh for holiness. Oh for more of God in my soul. Oh This pleasing pain it makes my soul press After God, oh that I might not loiter on my heavenly journey.

Oh That I might not loiter on my heavenly journey. He was utterly gripped by the apostolic.

Admonition.

Redeemed the time for the days are evil. Do not grow weary in well-doing for in due time. You will reap if you do not faint. Abound in the work of the Lord. He is an outfleshing of the pursuit of those apostolic commands with incredible Devotion and single-minded fervor.

April.

1747 his last year. Oh, I long to fill the remaining moments all for God. Though my body was so feeble and wearied with preaching and much private conversation yet I wanted to sit up all night to do something for God.

To God the giver of these Refreshments be glory forever and ever. Amen. February 21 46 my soul was refreshed and comforted. I could not bless God. I could not but bless bless God who had enabled me in some good measure to be faithful in the day past.

Oh how sweet it is to be spent and worn out for God. Among the means that Brainerd used in pursuing God in this way.

Was prayer.

Fasting Study and writing. Let me say a word about each of these. Prayer, what a man of prayer. Again, and again you read spent the day in prayer for the Indians or Set aside six times today prayer or Met with nearby family or friend to pray With them for the concerns of the kingdom.

He prayed for his holiness. He prayed for the conversion of the Indians. He prayed perhaps above all for the advancement of the kingdom. Oh God let your kingdom come in New England. He prayed and prayed that God's cause would advance what a spirit of prayer this man had.

He was visiting the home of a friend one time and he he just went off by himself. Often to pray would seek out a little place a room or outside and this is what he wrote. I Continued wrestling with God in prayer for my dear little flock here and more especially for the Indians elsewhere as.

Well as for dear friends in one place and another till it was bedtime and I feared I should hinder the family. Etc. But oh with what? Reluctancy did I find myself obliged to consume time in sleep. With what?

Reluctancy. I went to bed when I wanted to keep on praying and he fasted and fasted and fasted. Again and again you read. Fasted and prayed for the day. Fasted every time he needed guidance when he switched fields or those that summer after he was kicked out of school fasting and fasting for guidance for spiritual depth for usefulness and.

Then he wrote a letter at the end of his life to young ministers urging them to build into your lives fasting and prayer. Because of the spiritual benefits he had received by it. Here's what Edwards wrote about this experience.

Among all the many days he spent in secret fasting and prayer and that he gives account of in his diary. There is scarce an instance of one. But what was either attended or soon followed with apparent success and a remarkable blessing in special incomes and consolations of God's Spirit and very often Before the day was ended.

In other words Edwards says as he documents it that almost every day that he fasted something good happened in his life. Thirdly besides prayer and fasting. Here was in a sense a very frustrated scholar which every pastor is almost.

Every pastor wants more time to read. As far as I know I've never met one who says I read too much or I get too much time to read. Right, but Edward Brainerd what was an extraordinary mind? He was a genius probably from his language learning and his bent towards study and he studied much.

Picture him studying. He built four little huts in his life each place where he worked. He built with his own hands a little little hut and in the hut you have a candle and a fireplace. No electricity, no computers and word processors.

No pencils and No paper of any significant amount. 45. December 20th. I spent much of the day in writing. But was enabled to intermix prayer with my studies. January 7 44 spent this day in seriousness.

With steadfast resolutions for God and a life of mortification studied closely. Till I felt my bodily strength fail. December 20th. 42 spent this day in prayer and reading and writing and enjoyed Some assistance especially in correcting some thoughts on a certain subject.

He was constantly writing now one of the reasons this is significant is because We don't know what he wrote. Only the diaries in the journal are preserved at Brainerd. There isn't any there aren't any other manuscripts except letters We.

And yet he was constantly writing theological things and we don't have any of them. He was writing for himself just like you all should do. Publishing is not as significant as writing. You should all write because you clarify things when you write you go deeper when you write you get order.

When you write you grow in facility with language. When you write.

He said.

Was most of day employed in writing on a divine subject was frequent in prayer. Another time spent most of the time in writing on a sweet divine subject. That's what we just don't have any of another time.

Was engaged in writing again almost the whole day. Again rose early in the morning by candlelight. Some considerable time spent most of the day and wrote. Another time towards night enjoyed some of the clearest thoughts on a divine subject that ever I remember to have had upon any subject whatsoever and spent two or three hours writing them.

So here's a man with absolutely none of your benefits none of your comforts none of your advantages. Spitting blood every day agonizing in his breast not adequate food Indians clamoring for his attention totally alone.

Writing writing.

Writing. Not for publication and I commend it to you.