Gender Stereotypes: Why Are Women Attracted to Strength and Courage?

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Welcome to Bible Bash, where we aim to equip the saints for the works of ministry by answering the questions you're not allowed to ask.

Listen and enjoy this installment of Iron Sharpening Iron as Pastor Tim answers your sincere questions.

Here's Pastor Tim. On this episode of Bible Bash, we will be answering the question, Why are women attracted to strength and courage?

Now as I was scrolling through Twitter today, I came across this tweet by Megan Basham, where she says,

I say this not by way of cheeky crass Twitter quip, but profound phenomenon moms and friends and I are discussing.

Some of us who are aware of Zelensky had seen his image in the news before, but weren't struck by it. Suddenly, in group texts, all are now commenting on how attractive they find him.

And then she lists a picture of the president of Ukraine, Zelensky, in military garb, essentially fighting for his country.

She says, Amazing how displaying manly virtues innately transforms a man and the woman's eyes.

Another lady comments shortly after that, He's not conventionally good looking, but, quote, parenthesis, woman here, in parenthesis, his face does have a very open, ingenuous quality, especially attractive when he smiles.

Objectively true regardless, but enhanced by the integrity and fortitude now buoying it up. Now when you think about comments like this, we've been having a discussion about gender stereotypes the last few episodes, and one of the things that we've said is that men are significantly stronger and significantly more courageous than the standard woman is.

And these brute realities are particularly offensive in the type of society that we live in. And yet, at the same time, one of the things that you find is, you find that these basic realities that should be obvious to everyone that you're not really allowed to comment on, are the type of realities that actually women will comment on in the way that I just described.

No matter how hard we try to suppress these basic things, this is the standard reaction that many women have to strength and courage.

And the reason why they have this standard reaction to strength and courage is because they're wired to have this kind of reaction to strength and courage.

Now what actually happens when you're living in a society that's confused about these gender stereotypes and is constantly praising the opposite virtues in men and women, essentially praising women for being strong and courageous, and men for being sensitive and compassionate, what might happen is that in the short term, an individual's attractions begin to change somewhat.

And so a lady may be looking for a guy who is sensitive and caring, and that may be the kind of thing that is attracted to her in the short term, and the thing that causes her to marry him.

But then what happens in the course of a relationship is once they get married, and once she sees that this sensitivity and compassion that she was initially attracted to is there, and to the detriment of the objective virtues of strength and courage, one of the things that happens is that as he displays this lack of emotional fortitude over the course of their marriage, and is frequently reduced to tears, and is the nice guy who doesn't really have a whole lot of direction in the way that he actually leads, and is easily manipulated and controlled, he's going to be emasculated in her eyes, and she's never going to want to be intimate with him.

And the same thing is happening on the other end. The idea of the lady who has a little bit of a backbone and some strength and courage, even though he knows it's objectively nowhere near the standard strength and courage in a man, he might find that to be somewhat attractive until he enters into a marriage with her, and one of the things he finds is that she's constantly presenting herself as not having a gentle and a quiet spirit, but challenging him at every single point.

Fundamentally, she's going to cease being attractive to him in any real sort of way. And so one of the things that you want to have happen is you want to regain these gender stereotypes, because they do affect the way that we relate to each other as men and women.

Now when you're living in a time of peace, one of the things that happens is that essentially these gender stereotypes become less important.

So living in peacetime where there are no great wars to fight, the men can get lazy and the men can get weak, and typically one of the things that can happen is that society can start engaging in insanity and start praising men as we're doing right now for being weak and pretending that women are strong.

But then if the zombie apocalypse were to actually happen, or if our country were to actually go to war, and real objective strength and courage were actually needed at that point, one of the things that would happen is that we would return almost instantaneously to these old gender stereotypes.

That's the way it works. Because the standard woman is not wired for strength and courage in the same way that the standard man is, and if there is a real enemy that we're facing and there are real dangers to be fought and to be resisted, the standard man is going to be much better able to be equipped to face those dangers, and the woman who is the wicked vessel is going to actually look for a man who is able and willing and has the mental strength and fortitude to face dangers in order to devote himself to protect her.

So now when you're living in a society where there really aren't significant dangers along those lines, it's easy to get those things blurred.

But then the way the world actually works, the way God's creation actually works, is that women should be looking to men to be models of strength and courage, and men should be looking to women to be models of sensitivity and compassion.

And when you're living in a society right now, like the kind of society that we're living in, where essentially we're looking to women to be models of strength and courage, and we're constantly telling women that they're strong and courageous, not only is that a bit of a joke because it's not really true, but then it also – if somehow ladies could pull it off or that they could be objectively stronger or they're trying to present themselves as objectively stronger, what actually happens is that they become less attractive to the standard man.

So just think about examples that you see in movies. So movies are shows.

So Cara Dune on Star Wars is probably objectively strong.

She's somehow maybe taking the steroids and got herself to be objectively strong, but she's not the kind of woman that the vast majority of men would even be remotely attracted to.

She's just a curiosity. She's just a novelty. She's just somewhat of a freak of nature.

But no one is attracted to a woman who devotes herself to strength. If you think about the standard military movie with the standard military chick who is presenting herself as just as crass and just as coarse and just as tough as a standard man, not only does it strain believability in that no one actually believes that she's very strong or courageous, but it does make her somewhat revolting in the eyes of the vast majority of men no matter what we're allowed to actually say.

But in the same way, when a man adopts signs of femininity in terms of his dress, in terms of his manner, in terms of his disposition, and when a man is basically reduced to tears over the slightest inconvenience or he's reduced to tears and constantly weeping and crying and refuses to face the normal standard difficulties of life, he is going to be emasculated in the eyes of the standard woman, and she's not going to find him attractive.

Because the reason why this is the actual case is because women are actually objectively weaker than men and have significantly less courage than men.

And if they're looking at a man and they're seeing in that man that this man doesn't have the kind of strength and doesn't have the kind of courage necessary to face real dangers in life, it should be a profoundly unsettling thing for her.

So when a country moves from peacetime into wartime or when difficulties actually arise that are more significant, one of the things that will happen is that we will regain a sense of moral clarity on these issues and we'll realize that men and women are objectively different.

And I wish that maybe there was a way that we could relearn these things without having to actually face significant danger, but maybe the only way that we'll actually regain sanity as it relates to these issues is that we face difficult times and we'll realize that the standard woman is not wired for strength and courage in the same way as the standard man is.

And when she finds those characteristics in a man, those are the kind of characteristics she's going to be looking for in a time that's defined by significant danger.

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