WWUTT 1150 Q&A Biblical Patriarchy, Scandalous Worship, Style of Music?

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What is a biblical definition of patriarchy? These churches that record worship albums, if they've been in a scandal, should we sing their songs?

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And does style of music matter? The answers when we understand the text. This is when we understand the text, a daily

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Bible teaching podcast that we may be wise to the way of the word so that we won't be fooled by the ways of this world.

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Tell your friends about our ministry and to visit www .utt .com. Here once again is

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Pastor Gabe. Thank you, Becky. You're welcome. So let me ask you this. What is patriarchy?

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I knew it was coming. I just knew it. Okay, so patriarchy as explained biblically or by the world?

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Since that's the way you started. There are two different answers to this. Right. That's the way you introduced the program, being wise to the ways of the word.

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Yes. Way of the word. Way of the word. So we won't be fooled by the ways of this world.

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Right. So give me the biblical definition of, just give me the straight up definition of patriarchy. Okay. There is one ruler and submission.

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Yeah, literally the word means father rule. Yeah. Patriarchy. Right. So yeah, one ruler, everyone else submits to that ruler.

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So in the home, it would be the man who is the head of the household, the husband or the father.

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And that's what we have in scripture. So Ephesians 5 22 says, wives submit to your own husbands as to the

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Lord for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its savior.

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Now, as the church submits to Christ. So also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

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Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish in the same way.

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Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body.

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Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

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This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

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However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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Now, almost every time I read that passage or I quote it online to some degree, there's always some sort of contention or argument.

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Don't forget verse 21. You didn't read that one first, which says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

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But that does not mean that a husband submits to the wife. That isn't what it means.

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And that's never stated. Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church does not mean husbands submit to your wives because Christ does not submit to the church.

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Right. That's true. The statement that Jesus made in Mark that the son of man came not to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many should not be understood as for the son of man came to submit to the church.

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Serve is not submission. Correct. The king. They're different. Right. The king can serve his servants because he is setting an example to his servants.

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Right. That doesn't mean that the king submits to his servants. Right. He's still the ruler.

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But in today's society, they want to say that that's not fair. Well, they want to say that that a woman has every bit as right to have the ruling authority as the man does.

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That's what that's what the culture wants to say. Well, yes. But what

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I was referring to was specifically the king with the servants. Oh, yes. Right. The king with.

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Right. Yeah. Yeah. There's this general. Nick picking on words. A quarrel over words, which

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Paul says don't get into. Right. Uh huh. Precisely. There's this general attitude in the culture, too, to just disrespect authority.

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Oh, yeah. Big time. I mean, that was that was being promoted whenever I was young with music.

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And it seemed to be everywhere when I was little, even in the cartoons. You know, it doesn't matter what your father or mother say.

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You can go run off and as long as you're doing the right thing for you. It's OK. Yeah.

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Just do what's best for you. Follow your heart. Yeah. Yeah. It started, obviously, before my generation.

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Yeah. It really goes. Yeah. It goes back to the 1960s with, yeah, do whatever you want to do, do what feels best to you.

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That's when the sexual revolution began. Yeah. Was back in the 60s. But yeah, and it's through that revolution, the rise of feminism, things of that nature that you have this down with the patriarchy sort of attitude that has happened in the culture.

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But the patriarchy is created by God, which is why the culture rebels against it, because this is the way that the

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Lord has structured the home. And likewise, the church is supposed to operate in the same way since the position of pastor is supposed to be filled by a man, which we talked about that last week on the broadcast.

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But where we have in Ephesians 521, it being said, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

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And then you have wives submit to your own husbands. Husbands love your wives. This is not an example of husband submitting to the wife.

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What you have after submit to one another out of reverence for Christ is three examples of submission.

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Wives to husband, children to parents, slaves to masters. But then you have the ones who are being submitted to must also submit.

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The husband must submit to Christ. The parents must submit to Christ.

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The master must submit to Christ. So these pictures of submission are submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, verse 21.

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And then when it says wives submit to your own husbands, that verse is actually borrowing submit from the previous verse.

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Verse 22 doesn't have the word submit in it. Verse 21 does when you read it literally in the

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Greek. So it would be better understood, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ as wives do their husbands.

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They submit to their husbands just as the church is to submit to Christ.

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So that's the picture that's there. It's not, here's all these examples of submission.

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Wives submit to husbands and husbands submit to wives. That's not what's going on there. That's not how the language is structured in that particular passage.

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But this is, again, over and over again, it becomes attacked by the culture. There was an article that came out recently.

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I can't remember if this was in the Atlantic, just a few weeks back, where it was talking about how the nuclear family was a failure and we shouldn't be following this structure anymore.

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The basic traditional nuclear family is the husband goes to work, the wife takes care of the kids at home, the husband's the typical breadwinner, things like that, and we shouldn't be following that system anymore.

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Well, that's the family as God has structured it. Take out the whole term nuclear family, whatever.

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The biblical family. Look at the biblical family. What is the biblical picture of the family as God has created it?

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The husband is the head of the household. That word patriarchy literally means the ruling father, the rule of the father.

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It is from the Greek word patriarchies where pater is the Greek word that means father and arche means to rule.

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And this is how God has designed the family. The man is to be the head of the household. And the father, likewise, has that name that is carried on by his children.

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So then the sons and the daughters have the surname of the father. Whether or not our culture wants to admit it, that's still going on here.

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Yeah. For the most part. Yeah. The culture is still adopting this patriarchal system in which the children carry on the name of the father until they get married or otherwise, you know, submit to their.

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Change it. Right. Yeah. Submit their name to somebody else. Change the name. Hyphenate the name. Which is ridiculous. Like, where does that end?

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So you get married and instead of taking the husband's name, you decide to hyphenate the last name.

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So it'd be like Smith Johnson. John Smith marries Mary Johnson and then they hyphenate the last name and it becomes

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Smith Johnson. So then their kids get married. A daughter gets married to a

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Hanson. Then they hyphenate and it becomes Smith Johnson Hanson. Yeah. So we're just going to keep doing that until we get this extraordinarily long last name.

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Well, then you don't. I mean, it's kind of like the Bible hats all in the, you know. You don't have to go back any further.

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The whole genealogy. Yes. The genealogy of it. Like your last name is basically First Chronicles.

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Right. Yeah. Pretty much. There you go. That's how that comes down. So I mentioned that and I open up talking about patriarchy because I had talked about this on Twitter the other day and had some good comments and responses to this.

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Oh. Devin from Carrollton, Georgia says, Amen, beautiful. Well, what'd you say on Twitter?

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Oh yeah, that's right. I guess I got to start with my tweet. Well, you know. I didn't just. It'd be nice to fill in the blanks. I didn't just open up with patriarchy.

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Patriarchy. And then comments. That was it. Yeah. I should try that though. That's going to go over well.

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I'll just make a tweet that's patriarchy. We'll see. We'll see what happens. It's like my battle cry.

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I just got my hand in the air. My patriarchy flag. Patriarchy is biblical.

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What does that look like in my home? I work. My wife cooks and cleans. Me too.

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I lead devotions and worship. Becky makes the kids memorize verses. I teach my wife.

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She teaches me. But the responsibility to lead a family is my responsibility. The lead is mine and Becky submits in honor of Christ.

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Amen. Now, that's using all the available characters to me that were available to me on Twitter.

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280 characters. Yeah. Something like that. Is that what a tweet is? So, that's it. That was exactly 280 characters.

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Can you add to that or kind of expound upon a little bit how our home life works?

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What would be patriarchy in our home? I mean. You're a stay -at -home mom.

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I am. And you're. I'm a housewife. Yes. As I like to put it. Taking care of the kids.

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Teaching the kids because we homeschool our kids. Right. That's a full -time job. Yes. Becky does have her work cut out for her.

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I do. I definitely do. Well, I don't look for work outside the home very often.

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And if it is, it's just like, what can I do that's fun? You've done tutoring and things like that.

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Yeah. Painting and whatnot. Right. So, but for the most part,

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I'm not looking for a full -time job or anything like that outside the home because I know that you will take care of us.

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Right. And that God is sufficient in giving us enough to make ends meet and we just have to use that wisely.

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Yes. And that's what we're called to do anyway and the Bible tells us, you know, be shrewd and good stewards.

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So with what I gift to you. So that's what we are trying to accomplish in me staying home and you bringing in the paycheck, which is more than a paycheck.

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It's the kingdom work. Right. Because you're a pastor. Yeah. Because I'm a pastor. So I'm considered that elder that is considered worthy of double honor as Paul had described.

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So I get paid. I get a full -time wage for the work that I do with the church that provides for the family that allows me to do not just ministry with my church, but even some of the things that you see with the what videos and doing the podcast and things like that.

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Right. I'm recording all of this on a laptop that the church gave to me. Yes. All of our needs met by the church and through the ministry, which as Becky said, becomes a job.

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My wife cooks and cleans me too. I also do the grocery shopping. You do. Yeah. There is no me getting out.

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When I get out, I just buy everything. So when

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I'm at home, I know what we need. When I'm out, I forget. And I'm just like, yeah, this looks great.

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I could really use this. And then I get home and then like a week goes by, I'm like, you know, I probably shouldn't have bought that.

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She's susceptible to all the sales gimmicks that go on in a grocery store. It's so bad. It's like a hook, line and sinker.

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Like I need this. This would make life so much easier. And yet it's just one more thing.

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So I try not to go shopping, quite honestly, because, yeah,

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I'm much better at knowing what we need and writing it on a list and saying, hey, you go get this because I cannot trust myself.

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Well, that whole thing with me shopping, I mean, that wasn't planned when we got married. Nope, not at all.

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We had gone through pre -marriage counseling and we had decided, here's what my responsibility is going to be. Here's what yours are going to be.

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You know, we talked about those kinds of things. I don't think any of that worked out that way. Very little of that anyway.

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Within six weeks of getting married, we got pregnant. And it was one of those pregnancies where Becky pretty much wanted to sleep all the time.

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Oh, no, I would just wake up and I'm like, oh, I fell asleep. Like it was surprise. Oh, yeah.

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It's like narcolepsy. Yes. It was a narcoleptic pregnancy. It was. Thankfully, Annie was such a great child.

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So that was awkward that I would just wake up and not even know

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I was tired, let alone sleeping, you know. And so because that was her health, basically, during that pregnancy,

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I got to shop. I would go shop for everything. Never complained about it. It just kind of became the necessity.

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And Becky would do some meals and some Crock -Pot meals and things like that. But I would be the one to go to the grocery store and get everything.

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Yes. And then it's just been that way in our marriage ever since. So I've done the grocery shopping and. Well, to take four children to the store is.

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Well now. Yeah. Is. Yeah. It becomes overwhelming, too. They want to go with me.

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And just taking two of them with me is difficult enough. So anyway, it works out great for us.

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Let's see what's next. I said my wife cooks and cleans. Me too. I lead devotions and worship.

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You do most of the cooking, though. I do. Yeah. I think we split lunch. We do.

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And then I do supper. Yeah. But you do breakfast. I don't do breakfast at all. Right. And Annie is our oldest and she's old enough and capable enough to help a lot.

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The kids also. She's just kind of off and on. I always make lunch between like noon and one. And the kids are getting hungry now at 1130.

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Oh, I know. They want food at 1130. I know. They don't want to wait until noon. And so if that's going to be the case,

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Annie can make everybody food. I'm good with that system. Yeah. That takes. Gives her a little responsibility.

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That's right. One less thing that I got to do as well. So you lead devotions.

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Yes. You get up in the mornings and sometimes in the evenings and we do devotion. If we don't make it work in the morning, then we do it at supper time.

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And then worship and the children love worship part. And let's see.

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I make the kids memorize verses. Yes. The Iwana books that we have.

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Yep. We have Iwana. And sometimes there's extra verses that will like a quiet answer turns away wrath, whereas an angry response stirs up anger or something harsh.

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A harsh response. A harsh word. A harsh word stirs up anger. Yeah. That's it. See, the kids have this memorized. I'm still working on it.

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But I have that written on our wall and things like that. So I bring in, you know, I try to bring in God throughout the day of, you know, trying to keep our mindset and our eyes on them because the world, even in our home, like our flesh is still, we're still battling against our flesh.

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And so it's me, me, me, me, me, wait, no, it's us, us, us, us, us, wait, no, it's God, you know, and it's hard, it's tough to keep turning your eyes, like guiding them.

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Away from yourself and onto the Lord. Away from themselves and up. Yeah. So it's, yeah, even though we don't have the messages of the world in our home through watching a lot of TV and getting a lot of entertainment and things like that, the messages of the world are still there because we're in this world and we're sinners and we're in our home.

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So, yeah, there is still that constant tendency to battle those fleshly desires, those selfish inhibitions.

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And then you teach me and I teach you. We go through Bible verses and.

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Praying together. Yeah, praying together. But the responsibility ultimately to lead my family, that falls on me.

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Even though Becky is the one that will get the kids to memorize their verses and she does a great job with it, too.

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I'm not great at memorization. I don't know how to teach somebody to memorize. Becky knows how to do that real well.

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And so the kids memorize their verses. It's called I'm stubborn. Okay. And then they'll quote them to me and I'm like.

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We're going to go over this again. Yeah. And again. They'll quote them to me and I'm impressed. I'm like, wow, how did you, how did you memorize that?

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That's fantastic. And then I'll try to quote that same verse to them later and be like, dad, no, that's not how that goes.

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And they'll correct me on my verses. So that was the tweet that, you know, talking about patriarchy being biblical, how it's exercised in my home.

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And here were some of the responses we got. So now I come back to these responses again. I already mentioned Devin in Carrollton, Georgia, but didn't mention his comment.

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He says, Amen, beautiful. My wife is the most amazing person I have ever met. She is a godly woman who helps me, encourages me, teaches me and is my partner in everything.

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Praise God. Oh, that's sweet. That's good, healthy patriarchy in the home.

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Doesn't mean that the wife is supposed to sit there and be quiet and not talk. That's the way that anything. Yeah, that's right.

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That's the way that there is a way the world defines patriarchy. Like it's just some sort of abusive, oppressive system.

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Isn't it kind of ironic that some of the ladies just want to be doted on, but yet they want the power?

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Yeah, right. You know, I want the power so that way you can dote on me. So their whole idea of patriarchy is being, you know, having to sit there and be forced to sit there and do nothing.

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That's pretty much what you're getting power for. Yeah. My husband tells me what to do and I just have to do it.

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It's just kind of like, well, I don't get to have a career. I have to wear long dresses. That's the way they all.

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My wife's wearing jeans sitting here. I am. And I'm still cold. It is kind of chilly in here, though.

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What was I going to mention about? Oh, there's the, you know, the meme that pops up every once in a while. I think it comes about just about every winter where it's got a woman saying, we demand fairness.

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We can do everything that a man can do. Yes. The man's out there going, honey, get out here and help me shovel the driveway.

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Yep. She's like, oh, that's that's such a man's job. Yep. That's the that's feminism in a nutshell.

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But women are supposed to change their minds often, right? That's right. Feel free to change your mind and redefine patriarchy anytime you want.

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Feminism and equality. Yeah. So this comment is from somebody named the preacher's wife.

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No, no other name expounding on that identity. Your home life sounds very biblical to me, but definitely not how patriarchy plays out in today's churches.

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Patriarchy has become a power trip for weak men in most cases. The fact that you help your wife around the house and admit you learn from her is beautiful.

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Well, I responded to her and I said, that's just abusive behavior. It's not a result of patriarchy for these men to be on these power trips.

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And it's also I would argue that it's not common in most of today's churches.

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Your home life sounds very biblical to me, but not how patriarchy plays out in today's churches. I would say in in most churches.

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So we're going to go like everything that identifies itself as a church. OK, well, let's let's just take every single meeting entity on Saturday or Sunday that would say we're a church.

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What you're generally going to find there is weak men. That's usually what you find.

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You look into the most abusive 1611 independent fundamentalist

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Baptist churches, and I'm talking abusive ones here, not all independent fundamentalist churches. But that's where you're going to see those men that are very dominating and abusive of their wives might be more typical in an environment like that.

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But the majority of churches, no, I don't think she quite has that right. But God designed patriarchy.

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So when you have an abusive husband in that way, or when you even have a system in which the men are dominating the women and saying, hey, all women are supposed to submit to all men, you know, having that kind of approach, that's that's just abusive behavior.

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That has nothing to do with patriarchy. Patriarchy is not the reason why that happened. Sinful godless men are the reason why that happens.

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So God designed patriarchy for men to lead, take charge and protect.

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Just this past Sunday in church, in our Sunday school class, I was teaching from first Peter three, one through seven.

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And it's in verse seven where it says, husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the kingdom of God that has been promised to us in Christ Jesus.

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So that's that's patriarchy there. That husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, show honor to the woman as the weaker vessel.

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They are fellow heirs of the kingdom of God. And of course, what we read here in Ephesians 5, 25, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

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That's part of patriarchy. That's not counter patriarchy. That is how the man should be in the home where God has placed him.

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And it is beautiful. It is. That's right. Yeah, it is a beautiful picture. I love our marriage.

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I do, too. I've never been unsatisfied or not content with our marriage.

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The Lord has given us a beautiful thing, but our marriage is founded on Christ. It's built upon Christ, right?

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And it's not that Becky and I are perfect people. We're sinners like everybody else. And plenty of times

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I've had to apologize to her or she has apologized to me or we've both had to realize we're just not doing this right.

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So we come back to the word and regroup ourselves and come before the

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Lord and ask for forgiveness and we continue on in honor of God. This next comment from TJ, I humbly caution you against using the word teach where I said that my wife teaches me, considering that First Timothy 2 12 says

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I do not permit a woman to teach. My wife and I point things out to one another regularly, but she doesn't instruct me in the scriptures.

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We generally have a discussion and consensus. If we didn't, there would be serious investigation.

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I don't know what that means. There would be serious investigation. So let's say

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Becky said to me, let's say that we were looking at the scriptures one morning with the children.

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We're doing our devotions together. And Becky quotes to me Ephesians 5 25, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.

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Is Becky teaching me? Yes, because that's a command.

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That's a direct instruction. And if it comes from her mouth, she's teaching. First Timothy 2 12 is not about how no one woman should ever teach a man.

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That's not what First Timothy 2 12 means. That's given again in the context of the order and structure of the church.

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And we went through this last week. I don't want every week to be beating the First Timothy 2 11 and 12 drum, right?

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But that's that's the context of that passage. A woman can't be a pastor.

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Very simply what the instruction is supposed to be. She's not even supposed to take on the function of a pastor.

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The job is the function and the function is the job. The pastor is supposed to be a godly man and then you have the qualifications that he's supposed to meet in First Timothy 3 1 through 7.

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But this doesn't mean that a woman cannot ever instruct a man. The example that is given constantly is

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Akilah and Priscilla who are taking Apollos aside and then instructing him in the way.

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Priscilla was every bit as much a part of that. She was not just standing there, hey, I want you to meet my husband. He's going to tell you a little bit more.

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Yeah, because otherwise her name wouldn't have been mentioned. She would have been his wife. Yeah, yeah. She would not have even been part of that evangelism work with Apollos.

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So a woman absolutely can give instruction to a man and my wife does give instruction to me. Colossians 3 16 in fact says, let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.

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So if my wife needs to correct my behavior, which has happened before, I'm getting a little short with the kids.

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Maybe I'm having a grumpy day. You got the grumps. I got the grumps today.

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And she just knows how to gently and yet even humbly instruct me and draw my attention to my attitude.

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And say, you know, sweetheart, you were a little harsh with Zeej. So that I'm aware of that.

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I can apologize to Zeej and likewise apologize to my wife. Because she had to instruct me and call my attention to the fact that I was behaving in a way that was not godly as a father and as the head of my household.

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And that's perfectly fine for her to do that. She's not stepping outside of any sort of biblical grounds by instructing me in that way.

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In fact, I want her to. We sanctify each other. I help to grow her in holiness.

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She helps to grow me in holiness. And if she can't rebuke me when she needs to, then how can she effectively grow me in holiness?

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Yeah. Now, I think that I think that the wife needs to be careful with that. That she doesn't turn into somebody who's constantly subverting her husband.

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So you need to be careful in the way that you would offer that correction. And a wife probably has to be more careful about that than the husband does.

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Because the husband naturally, according to God's structure for the family, has that position where he's leading his wife and his children.

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That's the way the home naturally is set up. So for the wife to have to correct the husband, she's going to have to be very mindful of how she approaches that, more so than the way that the husband does when he is instructing his wife or his children.

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That she's still in submission to the fact that he is the head of the household. Not getting to a place where she's like, well,

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I guess I'm taking over from here. Yeah. My husband can't even do this right. So now I've got to do this.

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Right. And those, as I was reading there from 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 1 through 7, the first six verses 1 through 6 are directed toward a wife who is married to an unbelieving husband.

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And how she should conduct herself with her husband who is not leading in his home.

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And even in that context, she's still supposed to be a patient and submissive wife who may win over her husband by her quiet conduct.

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That's what Peter is showing there. But anyway, that's just to respond to TJ and say, hey, his rebuke was not correct.

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To say, don't use the word teach there. My wife can teach me. It's just in the structure of the church and the way the order of the church is set up.

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She's not supposed to have that role that God has specifically assigned for a man to fill, namely the pastor. Next one's from Andrew in the

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UK. And he's adding on to what I said about patriarchy. He says, if anything goes wrong, the man carries the can.

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The man leads in repentance. The man leads in restoration and where necessary.

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The man makes restitution. The man doesn't shift responsibility as our first father tried, meaning

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Abraham or Abraham, meaning Adam. Yeah. Or Adam was like, hey, the woman you gave to me, right?

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Gave me some of the fruit and I ate it. And then Andrew was there to blame. Yeah, right. The the woman threw the snake under the bus and Adam threw his wife under the bus.

30:10

That reverse order. Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the serpent. So Andrew goes on, if and when my wife sins, the long, hard look is at myself.

30:20

I agree with Andrew there. I think that was a wonderful and tender way to put that. And in fact, even in the Old Testament, when you had the family had transgressed or someone in the family transgressed who was taking the sacrifice to the tabernacle or to the temple.

30:33

Yeah, it was the husband. Husband. Yeah. And that's patriarchy. He has to oversee and care for even the atonement for the sins that were committed by the members of his house.

30:46

You have Job doing that right at the very beginning of Job. Yeah. His kids are getting together. That's what I was thinking of the story.

30:52

You thought that one too? Yeah. Yeah. Because his kids are grown. Yeah. I mean, they're still around, but they're they're grown.

30:57

And yet he's still taking a large sacrifice. That's right. Because because it's generally in patriarchy, generally the oldest male is the one who is the head of the household.

31:06

The father dies. Then it goes to the oldest son. OK. And yeah,

31:11

I think that's a a God ordained order for how the the home is structured.

31:18

This next comment was from Rebecca in Mississippi. She laughed. Makes the kids memorize verses.

31:25

Yeah. Makes the kids memorize. I do. Again, with the stubbornness.

31:30

Yep. That's that's where I get my strong willed that comes out.

31:36

That's where you can apply your strong willed tendencies. It comes in handy when you're doing that. Yes. Babs from the

31:43

UK. Wow. Simply explained. Humbly received. I hope that people will get it.

31:49

It's what we have been trying to tell people. That godly patriarchy doesn't diminish any woman, but a thing of joy when one provides leadership and direction.

32:00

Amen. And by the way, it should be a woman's joy to submit to her husband. It is.

32:06

As a pastor, I've talked with many women who who struggle with. I want to submit to my husband, but he's just not leading.

32:14

And that's interesting. I encounter that quite a bit, considering that the way of our culture is a woman is looking for any and every opportunity to assert herself and take charge.

32:25

To power trip. Right. Yeah. But you still have many women out there, godly women who understand the man is supposed to be leading and she's hungering for that when he's not.

32:35

And so that's a different kind of counseling. I think you just kind of get fed up and then you're like, OK, fine, if you're not going to do it,

32:41

I'm going to do it. There is that tendency to do that. And that's something that I have to make sure that I'm not trying to take over in instances where I feel like not that you lack in anything, but just like, oh, we could be doing this better.

32:59

So I need to step in and do this and change this up. And that's not that's not up to me.

33:05

Your perspective of our family is more well -rounded than what I see in front of me.

33:12

You are thinking about the overall, the long term, like I got to go downtown and pay some bills today.

33:18

The chess pieces. Like, how am I going to move this 10 moves from now? Right. And I'm looking at, you know, within three moves, we need to be here.

33:29

And so I'm not looking at that longevity, that long term kind of thing.

33:34

So I have to make sure to keep myself in check and not try to step in and undermine and just totally undo what you had been already working towards.

33:48

Yeah. Right. So there's also that where maybe the guy is leading, but he's not leading how you feel like he should be leading.

33:57

And so undermine is a good word. I think I use the word subvert earlier. OK. Yeah.

34:02

But undermine is good. So when talking to women about being careful not to undermine your husband.

34:08

Yes. I said not to subvert, but undermine. Yeah. So good word. Carla says biblical patriarchy is so different from worldly patriarchy.

34:18

The world tries to distort and pervert whatever is good. Everything. Yeah. Yes.

34:24

I agree. Chris in California, right on Pastor Gabe. It's such a good reminder to us men that we work hard, then come home to serve our families.

34:34

Maybe we can come up with a more biblical term like Christyarchy. Well, I would say we just need to reclaim that term patriarchy.

34:41

Don't be ashamed of it. Take it back over. Because it is a it is a godly structure. It is the way that the

34:47

Lord has arranged the family to operate. A good reminder to us men that we work hard and then we come home and serve our families.

34:55

Yes. And when you come home and this is something I'm preaching to myself when I say this. You don't come home and you sit on your phone or you sit in front of the

35:03

TV or you're looking at a screen and you're just like, hey, I'm sitting here in the living room. So family do something.

35:08

And this is our family time. Right. I'm going to stare at my screen. That doesn't count. That's right. You're not with your family. Yeah. And the kids should let you know.

35:16

Yeah. The kids usually are good about, you know, climbing on your lap and getting in between you and your whatever device and or screaming over in the corner, starting an argument just to get your attention.

35:30

Those type of things. The way our kids will do it is they'll they'll come and sit next to you and they'll go,

35:35

Dad, you're on your phone a lot. Yep. Well, I've worked hard to make them use their words.

35:42

You do great, babe. So they they do tell it like it is.

35:49

This one from Naja. What people don't know is that what the wife does is work on its own.

35:57

A glorious one, in fact. Everything that you do is work. Oh, it feels like it.

36:03

Just about every election cycle, you've got some woman that's running for political office who will say something really dumb, like like these these stay at home women need to get out and work or something like that.

36:15

Go out and get a real job. I didn't I didn't stay at home. I went out and I worked my tail end off like they'll say something ridiculous like that.

36:23

Yeah. Yeah. It's like you don't know what homework is. Real homework.

36:30

Yeah, it's it's hard. And it's it's emotionally draining at times, too.

36:36

Yeah. So sometimes I have to help recharge my wife or say, I'm taking the kids.

36:42

You go out with your friends. Yep. I've done that a few times. Yep. We got a date today, though.

36:48

We do. Today we get to go out on a date. We're we're rebelling against the

36:54

Valentine whole thing. So we didn't do it last week. We're going to go on a on a date tonight. And then

36:59

I also had a comment from an anonymous troll. I won't even dignify this this this person's comment by mentioning their name.

37:08

But the comment was, yes, patriarchy is biblical. So is polygamy.

37:14

Let's make the Bible great again. Polygamy is biblical and practiced by all the ancient patriarchs.

37:20

Not all. No, it wasn't. And just because Abraham had multiple wives or Jacob had two wives and David had multiple wives and Solomon had way too many wives, just because you read about that in the

37:35

Old Testament doesn't mean that that's what God intended for marriage. They don't necessarily have to read the

37:41

Old Testament to get that information either. So they might not even know. Oh, no, he doesn't have any idea.

37:46

Yeah. Especially when he says polygamy is biblical and practiced by all the ancient patriarchs.

37:52

Isaac was a one woman man. So was Moses. Yeah. Contrary to popular belief, many will say that Moses had two wives.

38:01

Nope, he didn't. He only had one. Job. Job had one wife who was a nagging wife.

38:06

But he did have just one wife. That's true. Adam had one wife.

38:12

He didn't really have a choice in the matter, though. Yep. But see, that's how

38:17

God created it. He didn't create Adam with multiple wives. He created Adam and Eve. Right.

38:23

And Jesus said in Matthew 19, four through six, that this is the way that God had created it from the beginning.

38:31

A man will leave his father and his mother, one man and one woman, be united to his wife, one man and one woman, and the two, one man and one woman, shall become one flesh.

38:43

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What God has joined together, let man not separate.

38:49

Or you might otherwise read that as, let man not redefine. Of the qualifications of a pastor in 1

38:55

Timothy chapter three, verse two, he is to be a one woman man. He is to be the husband of one wife.

39:03

Because that is the example he is setting for the church, that a man is supposed to be married to one wife, and that is the standard of marriage as God has created it.

39:13

So polygamy, while it was allowed, is not God's order for marriage.

39:20

And if you have somebody that is in a polygamous relationship, which happens sometimes with missionaries when they go to other parts of the world, they enter a culture where polygamy is practiced, the people repent, they come to Christ, they don't tell the husbands to divorce all their wives but their first one.

39:36

They need to continue to provide for these women, who are likely also mothers, so that the children don't become fatherless, but teach your children when they grow up to marry only one spouse.

39:53

So anyway, I didn't mean for that to be 40 minutes of the program, but that's how far we've gone here.

40:00

Talking about patriarchy, but that was the statement that I made on Twitter yesterday and some of the comments we had as a result.

40:06

I think that this is something biblical that we should be proud of, and we should strive toward understanding and defining and working through properly, not shunning it because we've heard it so many times from the culture, down with the patriarchy.

40:23

Or because somebody came from some sort of a system where a man was abusive and now they start blaming patriarchy for that.

40:31

Biblical patriarchy solves the issue. Or the ones who abuse it call it patriarchy. Like I am the man and so you have to...

40:40

There's no humility there in that sort of approach. Well being Friday, now that I'm getting to this portion, being

40:47

Friday we take questions from the listeners and you can submit those questions too when we understand the text at gmail .com.

40:54

This first one comes from Chris, he says, Dear Pastor Gabe, if a church or ministry publishes music and then is caught in a sexual abuse scandal, would it be right to stop singing their songs in church?

41:08

I'm thinking of Hillsong and the ongoing ordeal with Frank Houston, who was Brian Houston's dad.

41:15

Frank Houston was a pedophile. And then also Sovereign Grace Ministries, which is mostly sound in their doctrine, unlike Hillsong.

41:23

But there is that the abuse scandal in Sovereign Grace's past at one of their churches, there were some children who were being molested.

41:35

Given the disturbing revelations in the last 10 years, especially regarding CJ Mahaney, is it now unwise to sing songs they write and publish?

41:43

I anticipate your answer, thank you. Regarding Sovereign Grace, no, I don't think you stop singing

41:49

Sovereign Grace music because of that scandal that happened in one of their churches.

41:56

It's not the whole denomination. And it's not that there was something about the denomination that was corrupt that led to that.

42:03

The men who were responsible for that, and if in that instance, there were other people that didn't adequately report that, they should be held accountable for that.

42:13

But it doesn't mean the entire church is therefore corrupt, and we stop singing their music.

42:19

I would say the same thing would be true for Hillsong, but Frank Houston is not the reason why

42:25

I tell people not to sing Hillsong songs. I tell them not to sing Hillsong because the whole church is heretical.

42:33

That's why you don't sing Hillsong. And the way that these churches work, whether you're talking about Hillsong, you're talking about Bethel, you're talking about Elevation, they win people with the music.

42:44

And then they bring them in that way. Right. They rope people in that way. And then they're going to snag you with their doctrine, they're going to fill you up.

42:52

It's like a Pied Piper sort of a thing. The story of the Pied Piper is he's playing his flute and he's leading the children out of town.

42:59

And there's no words, he's just playing his pipe. But the children are enticed by the music and they follow him.

43:05

So with these songs, the doctrine of these churches is not always evident in the songs that they're singing.

43:11

As a matter of fact, the songs are fairly, you know, it's a typical Sunday school answer type lyric, you know, might say something like, we worship

43:21

Jesus, we worship God, forgive us our sins. If they do say anything like that, it's very, very basic and repetitive and very repetitive.

43:31

On top of that, hooks like crazy, you know, the way that the music hooks is structured.

43:37

They've got this system down. They know how to do it. So they rope you in through the music, with all the feels.

43:44

They don't try to say anything too controversial because they don't want to push anybody away on what is being performed in these songs.

43:52

Seeker friendly. Yeah, right. It goes right along with that whole seeker sensitive thing, that same mentality, right.

43:58

And that's how they do it. Bethel does it the same way. You know, Bethel taking a song like This is Amazing Grace, which is one of the most famous songs they've ever done, maybe a second to Reckless Love as kind of the signature song of Bethel now.

44:15

But before that, it was This is Amazing Grace, and there's nothing wrong with those lyrics in This is Amazing Grace, but it's all the stuff that Bethel teaches that makes it really, really bad.

44:24

Right. So that's why you stay away from that stuff, not because of sex abuse scandals. The persons who were a part of that sex abuse scandal, they need to be held accountable for that.

44:35

If there's anybody that covered it up, they need to be held accountable. Now with Hillsong, it might actually be the sort of a thing that they're corrupt from the top down on that particular scandal, in which case, yeah, that may be something that would otherwise make you decide,

44:51

I'm not going to give Hillsong any of my attention. But I don't tell people not to sing Hillsong because of Frank Houston.

44:58

I tell them because Hillsong is heretical. Right. Well, there was somebody on Twitter, I don't remember who it was, had posted that if you can't sing them in church because of your convictions, doesn't that make you the weaker vessel, looking out for your brother so that they may not fall for sin?

45:19

I wanted you to kind of explain how that weaker vessel - Well, I'm kind of confused.

45:25

I don't really know what - Yeah, I don't know how to explain it. Like I just read weaker vessel out of 1 Peter 3 .7,

45:31

so I don't - No, no, no, no, like, because you don't want your brother to fall short because of exposing -

45:37

We who are mature have an obligation to bear at the failings of the week. That one. So that's Romans 15 .1. Okay.

45:43

So using that one, the failings of the week, does that make you the weaker person because you don't want to sing it?

45:54

And I don't think so. I think that makes you the person that is more mature, looking out for those who are less mature.

46:03

Yeah. I mean, sure, you can sing it and you can still give praise to God through that song, sure.

46:10

But for the person who is like intrigued by it, like, oh, I haven't heard the song, let me go look up more.

46:18

And it just leads them into that - The false teaching of the church that it comes from.

46:24

Yeah. It's sick, too. And I mean, it's up there on the screen. You got down there in the fine print, it will say copyright

46:31

Bethel Music, copyright Elevation, copyright Hillsong. Right. They go find more of those songs, they come into the teaching of that church, they follow everything that it is that they do, and it becomes a slippery slope.

46:42

Yeah. And then that bleeds into your church, too. So whenever they go and investigate all this stuff and they like what they hear, because it's all friendly to your ear, it's scratching the itching air.

46:55

And then they bring that into your church, where your doctrine was sound, but now you have this weak link of, you know, no, here, come learn what's true about this.

47:07

Well, then you have a conflict. Yeah. And they're like, well, why did you even put that in front of me so that way -

47:16

If it was going to be that dangerous. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, it's like worshiping with heretics.

47:22

So as Becky was saying, you have a church that's otherwise sound in their doctrine, but now you've introduced the worship being led by a heretic.

47:30

How are we unified? How are we together now? And like Becky said, you can sing that song and you have a right understanding of Christ according to what his word says, not according to what the writer of this song says, because maybe you don't know the writer of the song.

47:46

Right. But in situations where I have been knowledgeable of who wrote this song and where it comes from, and I've been a part of some sort of ecumenical gathering.

47:56

There was one recently I took the kids to back in November. Okay. So we're attending this concert and they start breaking out into songs that I immediately recognize these are

48:03

Bethel songs and everybody's singing along and they're very worshipful and everyone is probably completely genuine in their worship, but I can't do it because I know the intention behind the lyric that is being sung there is not godly.

48:16

So I stood there and appreciated that everybody that was singing along with this probably had a genuine heart that they were lifting up to the

48:25

Lord, but because I knew who the writer of the song was and what they meant by what they wrote, I couldn't in my right mind sing along with that, knowing what

48:35

I knew about what those lyrics really meant. That doesn't mean that everybody else was in the wrong, but just in my conscience,

48:42

I couldn't participate. It's not that I got up and said, hey, no, stop. Whoa. Yeah.

48:47

Let me teach you in this. Yeah. It wasn't anything like that. I hope that that is helpful for you,

48:53

Chris, gives you something to think about there. This next one's also about music. This is from Ryan. He says, hello,

48:59

Gabecki. Hello. I've been hearing that there are certain genres of music that Christians should not listen to, like metal, rock and rap, and that we're really only confined to the stuff in hymn books or on Christian radio.

49:13

Well, we've just argued, no, no, there's even stuff on Christian radio you need to stay away from.

49:20

Yeah. Ryan goes on. I'm wanting to know your thoughts. I know that there are bands like Skillet who call themselves Christians as well as would be considered hard rock.

49:29

Thank you for considering my question. I think it's fine to listen to some of that.

49:34

Now, I've heard Votie Bachum give a talk on this, and it was in a

49:39

Q &A session, and I think he was in Africa when he was doing this Q &A. But the question was asked about rap music, and he was very careful with the way that he started his answer.

49:51

He said, I'm going to be unlike most in the way that I respond to this particular question, but I don't think you should be listening to rap at all.

49:56

And the reason he gave for that, he said even Christian rap, it's because the rap music was made to be, the whole invention of it was a rebellion against the police, against government, against the man, against authority.

50:13

That's where rap music was birthed out of in the drug and gang culture in LA back during the times of the riots and stuff like that back in the 80s and early 90s.

50:24

And so he said, because the very design of rap music was meant to be a rebellion,

50:30

I don't think any Christian should be listening to it at all. Now, I don't necessarily share that. Of course, Vodie Bakum also grew up in LA.

50:37

Yes, he did. So he saw all of that and was right up close and personal with everything. But you got

50:44

Christian rap artists and stuff like that out there. I don't see there being any problem with listening to what it is that they're doing.

50:51

It's not my style, so I don't really own any rap, but there are some rap songs that'll come up every once in a while on YouTube or they pop up in my

51:01

Twitter feed or something like that. Man, there's some solid lyrics in there. As the saying goes, spitting some rhymes.

51:11

And through that rhyming scheme, through that rhythm and R &B sort of structure, well, rhythm, it's not really rhythm and blues, but it's the hip hop.

51:21

That would be the term. Okay, yeah. I was gonna say, really? Yeah, it's not R &B. Yeah. I think that you can combine rap and R &B.

51:28

I mean, you can hear rap in just about... There's rap and pop music. There's also the rap rock.

51:34

Remember how that got real big in the 90s? So you can throw that rap style into anything, but yeah, it's not really associated with R &B.

51:42

It's hip hop. Hip hop was the term I was looking for there. But yeah, following that hip hop genre of music and hearing some great, solid, convicting truth, and sometimes that structure is perfect for some of the ways that truth is conveyed in a lot of these songs that you don't hear in songs with melody and harmony and following a particular musical pattern of the whole verse, bridge, chorus type structure, three, four chords, something like that.

52:13

That's a little bit more difficult. You're kind of confined to more rules when you're writing a song as opposed to doing a rap.

52:22

There's a little bit more liberty there. You just have to follow a certain rhythm, rhyme it in certain places.

52:28

But I think that because rap music is more freeing as an art, that it allows for truth to be conveyed in a different manner than it's done in a song.

52:40

Does that make sense? Yeah. So anyway, that's just to answer the question in such a way as to each their own.

52:46

If you want to listen to metal, you want to listen to rock, and I mean rock in its origins was supposed to be very angry as well.

52:53

It was. So be sure to do background before you really cling to any

53:00

Christian artist because there's a lot of them that are falling away, going wayward.

53:07

I don't know what you call it. They seem to be sound at some point in their life and then they're not anymore.

53:13

Well, let me tell you this as far as like personal preferences go. If you like it and you enjoy it and there's nothing inherently wrong in the lyrics or the content of the song, then just enjoy it.

53:27

There's no danger there of it being of leading you astray and it's just entertainment or it even helps you to reflect upon things related to God, draws your mind toward Christ.

53:39

I've shared this before about entertainment. I just don't like to put myself on display when it comes to my entertainment choices because I don't want to cause anybody else to stumble.

53:48

But there are things that I enjoy as far as music goes, as far as movies or television goes, that I can enjoy and it's not inherently bad.

53:57

It's not throwing up just a horrible imagery on the screen or something like that. It's not full of a lot of foul language.

54:05

See, if I know about the artist or the actor or whatever, I can't enjoy it as much.

54:11

Sometimes me too, right. Like it just totally, not that I have them up on a pedestal and I expect them to be sinless, but just at least have morals, you know, and when they're not, it's tough.

54:27

It really is tough. I know. It kind of, your ability to suspend belief kind of goes out the window when you know what kind of person this actor is or what kind of person the artist is.

54:38

Sort of like what you were saying earlier about how if you know who the song was written by and their intent behind the song, it's tough.

54:46

Yeah, right. Yeah. So. Depends on how much research you want to put into it.

54:51

Okay. I'll give you that one. Yeah. But to each their own on a lot of those entertainment choices.

54:57

Yeah. And there are some solid people out there, no matter what genre you listen to. Yeah. So.

55:03

Always good to remember Philippians 4, 8, finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable.

55:17

If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

55:25

Well, that's our program for today. Send us an email, please, when we understand the text at gmail .com.

55:33

Let's conclude with prayer. Yes, let's. Heavenly Father, we thank you for our time together and I pray that we have been honoring of you and considerate of your word that it guides us in faith and practice and all that we say and do.

55:47

That we remember we serve the Lord first and not men, but as you have called us to love one another and serve each other.

55:54

May we do that as we have those opportunities. Help us to build one another up according to your word, helping to sanctify each other and be obedient to your word before we ever consider what it is the world says or defines by those certain terms or structures or things of that nature.

56:14

We want to be people that honor Christ and all that we say and do in every area of our lives. And we pray and ask these things in Jesus name.

56:21

Amen. Amen. You got it?

57:30

No. You need, you want the pillow? To sit on. You're just sitting directly on the pillow?

57:36

Yes. Not like in the small of your back? No, because when it's in the small of my back, this bar hits.

57:44

Oh, yeah, that's true. Awkward part of my thighs. The bottom of the seat isn't terribly plush.

57:51

No, it's not. And it's a very uncomfortable chair. You took my cozy chair because your cozy chair squeaked.

58:01

It didn't squeak. It went. Sounded like it was hawking a loogie every time you sat back.

58:10

And since I'm only down here for an hour, a little bit more, I take the uncomfortable chair.

58:17

Thank you, because that's what I gave to you. Patriarchy. Yeah, let's go with that.