Denominations Order Coffee

Welcome to Six Beans Roasters.

My name is Chad.

I'll be your barista today.

Well, hello Chad.

We're a group of denominations here for our monthly meeting.

Sounds good.

What can I get started for everyone? Yes, I'd like a large coffee please.

I'd like it regulative principle style.

That means nothing added, just the way God intended.

Alright, well what name would you like me to put on that cup? Sure, put Presbyterian.

How do you spell that? Yeah, it's S-U-P-E-R-I-O-R-T-H-E-O-L-O-G-Y.

That doesn't spell Presbyterian.

Trust me, that's correct.

I'm not going to be having coffee today.

I just want a cup of ice water because I'm currently in the middle of a Daniel Fast, which means I can only have water and vegetables.

Chad, do y'all have any sweet tea? You know, the SBC president did say that coffee is bitter water for bitter people facing bitter times.

Sure, I can bring you some sweet tea.

Okay, Chad, just know this.

I like my sweet tea sweet enough that it would cause a normal person to fall into a diabetic coma.

I'm talking barbecue restaurant sweet tea.

Actually, what I'm going to do is I'm going to bring you some unsweetened tea and we have sugar packets here on the table.

I've never seen anyone try so hard to be the Antichrist.

I'd like tea as well, but I'd like a hot cup of English tea with some milk.

You put milk in your tea? Okay, I've definitely found the Antichrist.

Did somebody say Antichrist? I'll take a beer, please.

Sir, this is a coffee shop and it's 9 a.m.

I don't understand the problem.

I would like a tall, organically sourced, decaffeinated coffee with steamed soy milk sweetened with agave nectar and sprinkled over the top with dark chocolate flakes.

I would also like a paper straw.

Even though it's incredibly inconvenient and it disintegrates almost immediately, we all know it's much better for the environment.

Also, when you put my name on the cup, please be sure to include my pronouns are they and them.

You know, they have that on the menu.

It's called the lack of testosterone latte.

Hey guys, check it out.

I already had three coffees at our in-house coffee bar at the Big Eva Multiplex Mega Church and Mini Mall.

Big Eva requires big energy.

So I'm going to need a large iced coffee with a pump of every syrup that you have and I want you to put as much espresso as you can that is allowed by law.

Because as we know, caffeine is the Christian drug of choice.

Are you sure that's safe? Hey bro, the Bible says I can drink all things through Christ who gives me strength.

I'm pretty sure it doesn't say that.

Agree to disagree.