Sunday Sermon: Honoring Widows (1 Timothy 5:1-16)

You are listening to the teaching ministry of Gabriel Hughes. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday on this podcast, we feature 20 minutes of Bible study through a New Testament book. On Thursday is a study in the Old Testament, and then we answer questions from the listeners on Friday.

Each Sunday we are pleased to share our sermon series. Here's Pastor Gabe.

Jesus Raises the Widow’s Son in Nain

In Luke chapter 7, Jesus came to a town called Nain, and it is the only place in the Bible that even mentions this little town, located about 15 miles to the southwest of the Sea of Galilee. Jesus' disciples and a great crowd had followed him there, and as he approached the entrance to the town, they came across this funeral procession.

A man had died, and he was being carried out on a bier to the place where he would be buried. Now a bier might be like a gurney, which they're carrying on their shoulders like this, or it could also be a cart, and the man's body is being carried on the cart.

Luke recalls that this man was the only son of his mother, who was a widow. And it appeared as if, according to Luke's account, that the entire town had showed up for this particular funeral. So you have Jesus and his disciples and a great crowd who are coming into the town while this man is being carried out by pallbearers, and the whole town is following along after him.

It's like the town is exiting as they're coming in. Well, verse 13 says that when the Lord saw the widow, he had compassion on her, and he said to her, do not weep. And he came up and touched the bier, and those who were carrying the body stood still, and Jesus said, young man, I say to you, arise.

The dead man sat up and began to speak. And verse 15 says, Jesus gave him back to his mother. Fear sees them all, Luke said, because they were certain this man had died. This was 2 ,000 years ago, but it wasn't beyond people to know what dead is.

They knew the man was deceased, and yet here he is, rising back up again and talking in their midst. And Luke said, they glorified God, saying, a great prophet has arisen among us, and God has visited his people.

And this report about him spread through the whole of Judea and all the surrounding country. This miracle which occurs early in Luke's gospel is very likely the very first time in Jesus' earthly ministry that he raised the dead.

And it demonstrates not only his power over death itself, of course, for he too would soon die and rise from the dead, but it also demonstrates his compassion for people. The first time Jesus brought the dead back to life, it was a widow's son who cared for.

Her.

She would not have been able to care for herself. She had no one left, but Jesus raised him from the dead. And Luke even recalls, he gave him back to her. Our God has great concern for widows. As we heard in our call to worship this morning from Psalm 146, he upholds the widow and the fatherless.

Psalm 68 5 says, father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. When he rebukes Israel through the prophet Isaiah for their lack of godliness, he tells them, learn to do good.

And then he describes what good is. Seek justice, correct oppression, bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. Isaiah 117, God's heart for widows should also be the heart of his church.

Weeks back when we were in 1 Timothy 3, considering the qualifications for deacons, I mentioned to you that the very first deacon's ministry, which we read about in Acts 6, was caring.

For widows.

And here the apostle has been writing to Timothy about how one ought to behave in the household of God in light of the mystery of godliness, a phrase he uses that's synonymous with the.

Gospel.

How are we to be godly in light of the gospel that was proclaimed to us? Over the last couple of weeks, we considered being trained in godliness. And one of those basic godly ministries that the household of God should be invested in is caring for widows.

For as we also heard this morning from James 1 27, religion that is pure and undefiled before God the father is this, to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

As we look here at these 16 verses, verses 1 through 16, as usual, as you have probably come to expect from me, this breaks down into three parts. Number one, the regard for all men and women in the church.

That's verses 1 and 2, right at the start of this passage. Number two, the responsibility of honoring the widows in the church. That's verses 3 through 8. And then number three, the requirements for being enrolled as widows in the church, verses 9 through 16.

So I not only have some good alliteration going on with everything beginning with the letter R, but I even managed to make the first two letters of each word match. Regard, responsibility, and requirements, as we have in this passage.

In this, we learn as the household of God, in pursuit of godliness, we care about what God cares about. How we are to regard each other in the church, especially caring for those most in need, because, my friends, God considered our need.

By sending his son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins, and rising again from the grave, it is in light of this message of the gospel that we care for the needs of others. So first of all, let's come back to the start of the passage here.

Even though the bulk of these instructions has to do with the care of our widows, you'll notice that the chapter begins with verses 1 and 2 in how we are to regard all men and women in the church. Do not rebuke an older man, but encourage him as you would a father.

Younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity. So remember again that Timothy is a young man, probably in his young 30s, as we considered last week, being sent to pastor this church in Ephesus.

And he's been told not to let anyone look down on him for his youth, but to set the believers an example. But though he is a pastor, there is still a manner of respect that he's supposed to show to certain people in his church.

He's not supposed to stand up in his pulpit and just be there like, I'm the pastor, you all are supposed to revere and respect me. No, rather, he is a servant to the church as a shepherd. And this is likewise going to be an example that he sets before the brethren.

You don't regard an older man in the church the same way that you would regard a younger.

Man.

Do not rebuke an older man, Paul says. This word means to chide or to strike with insensitive or brutal words. Instead, you are to encourage him as you would a father. I'm sure no one has had more influence on my spiritual growth than my own father.

I am a Christian today. I am walking with the Lord because of my dad. I'm even a pastor today because of my dad. I was very honored that when I was ordained into the ministry on August 15th of 2010, that was my dad's birthday.

And he was present there at my ordination. It was a great honor to have him there. If I ever had to correct my dad, do you think I would do it the same way that I correct my younger brothers? One time, one of my brothers got caught drinking underage, got in trouble with the law, got kicked out of school.

I sat on his chest and yelled at him for about half an hour. That's probably not the best approach to dealing with a younger brother either, but I wouldn't dream of doing something like that to my dad.

So likewise, regard older men in the church as you would a father. Younger men as brothers, not like sitting on their chest and yelling at them. That's not a new disciplinary measure that we're going to start implementing here at Providence.

In saying that you regard younger men as brothers, this doesn't mean you pull rank. Hey, I'm older than you, so you better listen to me. The main intention here is that you regard him as a friend, not like someone who is inferior to you.

As Paul had said to the Thessalonians in 2 Thessalonians chapter 3, when you have to warn a brother about something, you regard him as a friend and not as an enemy. And so even here, as Paul is giving these instructions, we regard an older man, correcting him or encouraging him as you would a father.

And don't even neglect the younger men. Don't shrug your shoulder. I mean, how many of you have had that kind of attitude toward the younger generation before where you just kind of shrug their shoulders?

They're just acting like kids. It's the way they are. Don't neglect even a younger man who may need correction. But when you do correct him, you regard him as a brother, not as an enemy. Galatians 6 .1 says, brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.

Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. And just as these instructions are given of older and younger men, so they also apply to older and younger women in the church. Regard older women as mothers, younger women as sisters in all purity.

This instruction is given to Timothy as a pastor, how he is to regard the women in his church, regard them with the same affection that you would as the men. But with the women, Paul instructs Timothy to treat them as sisters.

Notice those last three words, with all purity. Let there not be any impropriety or some manner that would be socially improper in the way that Timothy treats the younger women. Paul has a very similar instruction for Titus.

And I'm going to come back to that again when we get to Titus 2. I won't flesh that out so much here. But there is even a particular and sensitive care Paul seems to emphasize here in the way that Timothy deals with women in the church.

Don't neglect them either. But in the way that you minister to these women, let it be in all purity so that there's no charge of impropriety that could be made. So, in the meantime, we've considered how Timothy is to regard all men and women in the church.

Honoring Widows Who Are Truly Widows

Next, Paul's instructions turn to the responsibility of honoring widows in the church. You'll notice this was the bulk of the instructions that we read in our opening reading. Look at verse 3. Honor widows who are truly widows.

Now, you might not think that that sentence needs much definition. But what does it mean to honor widows? Specifically, Paul is saying that these widows should be supported financially. Honor is not always directly tied with money.

Sometimes it simply means to revere. But to honor does mean to value. The Greek word timao means to fix a value or a price. So, in this particular context, in the way that Paul is instructing Timothy to honor widows, it is to financially care for these older women.

In Matthew 15, the Pharisees asked Jesus, Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat. Now, this has nothing to do with washing your hands for reasons of cleanliness so that, you know, you eat your food with clean hands.

The way you tell your kids to wash up before dinner, that wasn't what the Pharisees were holding to here. The Pharisees had made washing hands something of a legal requirement. Lest you eat your food with defiled hands and then defile your food and you eat that defiled food which goes into your body and now you've been defiled.

According to one rabbinic writing about this, quote, Whoever eats bread without washing of hands, it is as if he lay with a whore. And, says Rabbi Eliezer, whoever despiseth washing of hands shall be rooted out of the world.

They literally made this a matter of whether you go to heaven or hell. And another rabbinic writing says, he that blesseth food with defiled hands is guilty of death. This was how legalistic these Pharisees had become.

And here, they're trying to catch Jesus and saying, see, you're not as pure as you say you are, your disciples say you are, the people think you are. You are letting your disciples eat with defiled hands.

That was the nature behind their question. How dare you? It wasn't like they were actually looking for some educated answer. They were trying to accuse Jesus of being impure. And Jesus responded to them by saying, and why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?

For God commanded, honor your father and your mother. And whoever reviles father or mother must surely die. But you say, if anyone tells his father or his mother, what you would have gained from me is given to God.

He need not honor his father and mother. So for the sake of your tradition, you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites. Well, did Isaiah prophesy of you when he said, this people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.

In vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men. In other words, instead of financially supporting their father and their mother as they should, the Pharisees were taking the money that they made, and they were saying, this is God's.

It's God's money.

And so then when their father and mother were in need, the Pharisees were going, sorry, mom and dad, I've dedicated this money to God. So it goes to God, and then their parents go uncared for. It doesn't matter that they dedicated this money to God.

They transgressed the law and therefore sinned against God because they were not obeying the commandment, honor your father and your mother. So even here in Matthew 15, Jesus connects honor with financial support.

Even that fifth commandment, to honor your father and your mother, can also mean and be applied in this way that you would support them financially. Your parents supported you financially, did they not?

And so when the day comes that they need that help, so we as their children should be willing to care for our parents even monetarily. So here when Paul says, honor widows who are truly widows, he doesn't mean name the church library after one of your widows.

He means that the church needs to consider what their widows' needs are and.

To care for them.

This doesn't necessarily mean that the church needs to set aside a budget line item for widows. It could be one person in the church takes it upon themselves to care for this one widow. It could be a family who cares for a widow that doesn't have a family.

Or maybe the church does put in their budget to care for their widows. No matter how this is accomplished, a woman who has no husband, who is too old to care for herself, cannot work and even make for herself a living, she is cared for by the church.

That's what it means to honor widows who are truly widows. Now, so we don't take anything for granted here, what's a widow? Well, I asked that question and you probably automatically think in our Western world vernacular, a woman whose husband has died, that's what a widow is.

That's true. But when the Bible uses that word widow, that may not be all it means. The definition of the Greek word used here is simply lacking a husband. Thayer's Greek lexicon adds that she is barren.

So she has no husband, nor does she have any children. And she could be a woman whose husband has died. She could be a woman who's been abandoned by her husband. Or she may have never even had a husband at all and still qualify here as a widow.

And having never been married, she also has no children who can take care of her. Or she may have been barren and was unable to have children. These are those whom Paul calls truly widows. Look at verse four.

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing to God. Notice that right at the start of verse five, Paul says, she who is truly a widow left all alone.

So if this woman has children or grandchildren, she's not to be considered truly a widow, as Paul describes here. She does have family who can care for her. And this instruction actually bookends these instructions about caring for widows.

We see this instruction come up here in verse four. If a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first care for her. There's gonna kind of be something right there in the middle as well in verses seven and eight.

And then we see it come back up again at the very end, verse 16. If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

So if this woman has children or grandchildren, then they should care for her first and not put her as a burden upon the church to have to care for her when there's members of her own family who can do this.

So let's pick up again in verse five. She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers, night and day. You know, reading that passage, the first woman that I thought of, she who is truly a widow, left all alone, set her hope on God, continues in supplications and prayers night and day.

The first woman I thought of was my grandmother Mimi. She died a little over 10 years ago, but she was a woman who had been abandoned by her husband. She was not a widow, but had great children who cared for her.

And she was a woman, too, who continued in supplications and prayers night and day. I never knew a godlier woman than my grandmother. And it was amazing how outgoing she was with the gospel. What a testament to me when I was a little kid.

She loved to take me to Hardee's. Hardee's had a completely different look back then. It was orange, had an orange roof, Hardee's sign. Now it's kind of like you can't distinguish a Hardee's from a Carl's Jr., but it had a different look back then.

And one of the things that we loved to get at Hardee's was sausage and biscuits. So she would take me to get sausage, gravy, and biscuits in the morning. And I still remember pulling up to the Hardee's window, and the lady comes to the window and says, ma 'am, that'll be $6 .15 or whatever.

And Mimi's handing her the money, and she goes, here you go, ma 'am. Do you know Jesus? And suddenly, we're right there in the drive-thru line, and Mimi's gotta share the gospel with this lady. She would do it at the library, at the grocery store, when she took us to the park, wherever it was, she had to tell somebody about Jesus.

And we all knew her to be the prayer warrior in the family on top of that. If we had any needs, any requests, they went to her and she prayed for them. And we knew she was praying for them. She even would write us handwritten note cards and say here's what I prayed for you this week.

Even as her grandson, I continued to receive those cards up until the day that she died. And so this is a woman who is a godly woman. This particular woman is a believer. This is not an instruction given to the church to go and find all the widows in the community and care for them.

This is specifically a woman who is a Christian who is being talked about here. She has set her hope in God. Come what may, she knows God provides. She loves her Savior, and even her dire circumstances do not cause her to despair.

And in this way becomes an example to the entire church. Now while verse five describes a woman who is all saint, verse six describes a woman who is all sinner. But she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.

John Gill says that this is a reference to a woman who, quote, lives a wanton, loose, and licentious life serving diverse lusts and pleasures, unquote. She has not endured in the faith. She has turned back to her flesh and to the world for pleasure.

She is dead in her transgressions and sins, not forgiven and made alive in Christ. She may be alive in her body, but she is dead in her soul. She is no longer living as a member of the church of God, and the church has no obligation to care for or help meet her needs.

Now as we continue to consider what it means to honor widows in the church, Paul says this in verses seven through eight, command these things as well so that they may be without reproach. We've seen before Paul instructing Timothy, command these things, right?

So these instructions regarding caring for widows, command these also.

This is for the whole church.

It's not just Timothy's job to care for the widows. The whole church is to look out for those who are most in need. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, this is verse eight, if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for members of his household, he has what?

Denied the faith?

Wow.

And is what else? He's worse than an unbeliever. That's astonishing. Even pagans, even those who do not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, nor do they care about the law of God, they know how to care for their families.

Even pagans understand this. So how much more should it be upon us as Christians to understand it? You know, despite how sexually depraved this culture has become, and it seems like it's only getting worse, the general consensus of our society still believes that cheating on your spouse is a bad thing.

Have you noticed that? I still remember back to 2009, this was, what, over 15 years ago now, when Tiger Woods got into a little bit of trouble in his house. It was the day after Thanksgiving. My dad and I were watching football, you know, whatever's on.

We're in the room together, we're watching TV. Whatever sport we were watching was interrupted by this huge update. Tiger Woods had crashed his Cadillac Escalade. I'm going, oh, poor guy. Dude worth millions and millions of dollars crashed his Cadillac Escalade.

Why is this being interrupted? Well, it turns out his wife comes out of the house with his golf clubs and is smashing the back windows. Suddenly, this is a national story. What is going on? What resulted in this kind of reaction?

And day by day, more and more details started coming out that Tiger Woods was a womanizer, and not just with one or two women, but dozens and dozens. And I won't go into detail. I won't elaborate on the things that he got in trouble for.

But once that news came out, the near universal reaction to that was,.

What a jerk.

Like, nobody thought that his wife, Ellen, had responded in some unruly kind of manner, like, how dare she go and smash his windshield? No, he should be thankful he didn't get his face smashed in, considering everything that he did.

More recently, I was reading an article about a famous TV sitcom. At one point, the writers of that show wanted to have one of the main characters cheat on his wife. And the actor who played that character told the writers, absolutely not.

I won't even film it. And he told the writers, if we do this, our viewers will never forgive us for it.

Isn't that wild?

That even in our sexually depraved culture, even in a sitcom that's probably full of, you know, some sexual jokes in there, and yet, even they understand, there's a line that you just don't cross, that just isn't funny.

The United States of America has descended into a level of sexual immorality that would make Sodom and Gomorrah blush. And yet, most of America is still of the opinion that adultery is really very bad.

When it comes to caring for your family, even unbelievers understand this concept, though they care not for God and his word. But a Christian has heard about God's compassion for people most in need. We heard it this morning.

You have heard from the law of God how we are to honor father and mother, Exodus 20, 12, and that's repeated again in Ephesians 6. You have heard how a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, Ephesians 5, 25.

You have heard how a wife is to submit to her own husband as to the Lord, Ephesians 5, 23. You have heard the instruction to fathers to raise children in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord, Ephesians 6, 4, and how a mother is to love her children and care for and manage her home.

So, if even unbelievers can understand caring for parents, spouse, and children, how much more should you follow these instructions? Having heard from and known the heart of God according to his word.

If you neglect the members of your own household, you have denied basic instructions of the faith. It's as if you have seen and know that God cares for me. He cared for my most serious need, which was I needed forgiveness of sins.

I needed a solution to my death problem. And God puts on human flesh and dwells among us. The father sent his son to be the savior and whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life.

God considered my need in this way, even suffering on my behalf. Oh, but somebody else can care for those widows.

How dare we?

As God has considered our needs, so we must consider the needs of others. So, we've read here, so far in this passage, first, the regard one is to have for all the men and women in the church. That was in verses 1 and 2.

And we've heard, secondly, the responsibility to care for the widows of the church. Even beyond this, how one is to care for their own family. Number three, we read here about the requirements for being enrolled as widows in the church.

Requirements for Being Enrolled as Widows

Look at verse 9. Let a widow be enrolled. Now, let me stop there for a moment. Some of you are probably aware that for the last three Fridays on my podcast, Becky and I have been entertaining questions from listeners about church membership.

And one of the very first questions that came up that set us on this trajectory, and then more people started throwing in other questions about membership, one of the first questions that came up was, I know I should be a member of a church, but there's nothing in the word that explicitly says, become a member of a church.

So, how is it that we come to this conclusion that we must be members in good standing with the church? Well, though there is not a specific instruction in the New Testament that says you must be an enrolled member of the church, there are various hints that membership was practiced in the early church, and these instructions regarding the care of widows is one of those places.

If the first century churches had enrollment for widows, you can be assured they kept enrollment of committed membership. How else could a widow be enrolled in anything if there wasn't a committed membership to care for her?

So, that's already implied there, even in what Paul says. Now, I don't want to go off on that tangent, but if you have more questions about membership and what Scripture has to say about that, you can refer back to those three episodes of the podcast that I've done, or talk with me, or Chris, or Alan, any of the brothers that you've seen up here, Dusty, or Josh, we would love to talk with you more about what it means to become a member of Providence.

So, have that in mind though, even though I won't go on a tangent here about church membership, you still have that concept of membership in mind as we read these instructions. Look again at verses 9 through 10.

Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than 60 years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works, if she's brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.

Now, Paul gives these specifications so that the church won't find itself burdened with caring for a bunch of people who probably don't need the help as much, and thus depleting the church's time and resources from caring for those who are the most in need.

Now, to say that she had been the wife of one husband, that was not to say that she only ever had one husband in her life. Because here in a moment, down to verse 14, Paul says that he desires the younger widows to remarry.

So if that first husband dies, then the second husband dies, is the woman not to be considered truly a widow because she had been married more than once? It could be because she had two husbands that maybe she had received the inheritance of two estates, in which case that woman's probably well taken care of and doesn't need to be considered on the enrollment.

But the point here, I believe, is more likely this. When you look at all the other characteristics of an enrolled widow, you see here that Paul is just simply describing a godly woman. So to say that she was the wife of one man is like saying of a qualified overseer or deacon back in chapter 3, that he must be a one-woman man, right?

He doesn't have multiple wives. He's not running off with mistresses or anything like that. He is faithful to one wife. So likewise, this widow must have a reputation for being faithful to her husband, especially when you consider, as I said earlier, that this woman might be a widow because she had been abandoned by her husband.

Well, who was at fault there? Was it him or was it her? If she had been faithful to her husband and he was the one who had been unfaithful to her, then that should not be held against her. Did she have a reputation for godliness, as we had talked about in the previous.

Chapter?

She brought up children. That could be that she actually did bring up her own children. It could be that she was like a matriarch in the community. This was common even among Jewish families, that maybe a woman didn't have children of her own, but the children of the neighborhood would come to her, and she would help catechize them.

She showed hospitality to others and was a generous and giving woman. She washed the feet of the saints as our Lord did for his disciples. When she was abled, bodied, and hardworking, she cared for the afflicted, and she devoted herself to every good work.

These are not just qualifications for a woman to be enrolled as a widow in need of care. She's also being a godly example to the whole church of how we all should consider ourselves with one another. In verse 11, Paul says this, but refuse to enroll younger widows for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry.

Now, again, that's not Paul condemning marriage. Well, she shouldn't get remarried at all because, again, we see here in just a moment that he says, I would have younger widows remarry. So what does Paul mean here when he chides these younger widows for wanting to remarry?

Notice that they have worldly passions that draw them away from Christ. So desiring to remarry probably means that they're doing something as foolish as marrying an unbeliever. Or maybe they marry a man for his money so that they can fulfill their wanton passions.

In verse 12, Paul goes on to say that they incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. They have worldly passions that cause them to leave the faith. This is a concept Paul is going to come back to as well later on in Chapter 6, where those who are in love with the world fill themselves with all kinds of pangs and worldly desires, and they abandon their former faith.

Besides that, he continues, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies saying what they should not. So instead of submitting to a husband, they don't care for their own households, they begin to meddle in other people's lives.

They give in to fleshly temptations to become lazy and gossip about others. Remember last week in Chapter 4 where we had those instructions regarding godliness, we are to...where Timothy was to be a good example of godliness, and then we follow along in that example, especially when it comes to speech, conduct, faith, love, and purity.

Remember those five areas. So this woman here is someone who has given up all five of those areas. She is not a godly example in speech or in conduct. She gossips, she goes about from house to house, she's lazy, she does not show love, she does not show faith, and she certainly doesn't demonstrate purity.

If this woman remains in your church, she becomes a burden in more ways than one, especially on the church's resources. So what is Paul's solution to help prevent this kind of problem? Verses 14 to 15 he says, so I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.

For some have already strayed after Satan. For Paul to say there, some have already strayed after Satan, this means that this has already happened in this church. In his introduction to 1 Timothy, Pastor John MacArthur says that 1 Timothy is really a polemic, meaning that this is a refutation against wrong practices or ideas.