TLP 162: Decision Making and the Will of God

There isn't a choice you or your kids will have to make that won't fall under at least one of these principles.

Welcome to Truth. Love. Parents. Where we use God's Word to become intentional, premeditated parents. Here's your host, A .M. Brewster.

Interpreting the Insight Tool and Recalling the Speaker’s Own Story

Before we jump into today's topic, I was listening to our last discussion and wanted to add something about interpreting the insight tool. When it comes to interpreting your child's second and third list, don't be surprised if you see a lot of overlap.

Your child may have written that they love soccer on their second list, and then included that they played on a soccer team four years in a row on their third list. They may have recorded on their second list that they love playing their instruments, and on their third list mentioned that they place in their state competition.

Hopefully, they wrote something about loving God and ministering to others on list two, and they may have also included a specific service opportunity or ministry on list three. When you have similar items appear on multiple lists, take special note of those items.

The more lists on which they appear, the more important it becomes. Also, due to the fact that I was running out of time, I didn't share with you the cool things that developed from my lists. I could take the rest of the show to talk about it, but for now, I'm going to share one thing.

Growing up, my parents frequently invited people who were not our relatives to live with us. I have memories of college age and young career age individuals living with us at every stage of my life. In addition to that, my parents had basically an open-door policy that meant that the young adults with whom my parents worked were almost always in our home.

One man lived with us a number of years before I turned nine. We had different people living with us on and off from junior high through high school. Most were young men, but there was at least one girl that I can remember.

Most of the people who lived with us did so because they had hit a hard spot in their lives. They were nearly always relationship issues or financial issues or spiritual issues or all of the above. As I grew older, I remember being more aware of the tension these people sometimes brought into the home.

On the extreme end of things, one man in particular made any number of suicide threats and attempts. And then when you add that my parents constantly involved me in their ministry to children and young adults, you won't be surprised to hear that after I filled out my lists, I decided to major in youth ministries at Bob Jones University.

Now, eventually I changed my major to camp ministries, which is another discussion entirely about how God can use your poor choices to glorify Him. And I also got my master's in biblical counseling because I knew that whether in my daily life or ministry, there was nothing more important than knowing how to point people to God and His truth.

Now, fast forward. I'm married. My wife and I live in the Chicagoland area with our very young children, and I'm teaching at a Christian school. I find out that our school is going to start hosting international students.

I jumped at the idea and was blessed to have one boy from Korea and two girls from China live with us at different times. It was a wonderful experience, but it was also challenging as only one of the young people was born again.

Those were unique list three experiences. Is it any wonder that I now work at Victory Academy for boys? Every year we invite up to eight at-risk teen boys to live with us and our kids all for the purpose of introducing them to God.

And it was from all of these experiences that this podcast came to be. Now, no doubt way back when in Minnesota when Phil came to live with us, my parents had no idea that it would be a significant part of the process God would use to equip me for my future ministry.

But the reality stands that God uses everything we encounter, comfortable or uncomfortable, to refine us as long as we submit to His will. All right, I know that was a little off topic, but if it intrigued you and you haven't listened to the whole series, which started in episode 158, I strongly encourage you to do so.

The Clear Will of God and the Sovereignty of God

Okay, so far we've talked about helping your children be the right people so they can do the right things. Those principles dealt with understanding and living out the clear will of God as revealed in Scripture.

We've also discussed using the Insight Tool to attempt to understand who God is uniquely creating your children to be. That tool gives us a peek into the sovereign will of God as it applies to your children's future occupations.

And today we're going to discuss four principles that apply to all life decisions, whether it's your child's future education, ministry, career, spouse, or whether or not they should purchase that black leather sectional.

These principles will help them know with confidence that the Lord will be glorified by their decision. And of course, it applies to God's will for your life as well. Now, the info I'm going to share with you today is not of my own creation.

The ideas were created by Gary Friesen and J. Robin Maxson for their book Decision-Making and the Will of God. I have not actually read that book, but I did find a free PDF handout long time ago that they created called Principles for Decision-Making.

The handout I found way back when is fantastic and simple. I can only imagine how good the book will be. So, I'll include the link to the book in the description. Just know that I haven't read it yet.

Okay, here we go. We're going to look at the four principles and apply them to you and your family, and then we're going to look at a case study from the life of Paul. Number one, these gentlemen come up with the principle of obedience, and they say, where God commands, we must obey.

This is identical to our first two episodes in the series. 100 of what God wants us to know about life has already been told to us. The Bible is our final and complete authority for faith and practice.

And we need to teach our children that the complete moral will of God is fully revealed in the Bible. 2 Timothy 3, 16 -17 tells us all Scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God, the child of God, may be complete, equipped for every good work.

I have a whole series already prepared for season seven called A Parent's Five Jobs. That will be an in-depth study of 2 Timothy 3, 16. If you're listening to this episode after August of 2018, you should check it out.

And I plan for that series to start around episode 185. Now, moving on, 2 Peter 1, 3 reminds us, God's divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who has called us to His own glory and excellence.

Isn't that an amazing promise? Consider the peace our children can have when they acknowledge and submit to this one truth. Of course, also based off of the principle of obedience, we need to teach our kids that the moral will of God is the expression of the character of God.

God has saved us and called us to a Christ-like life. Because God's moral will reflects His character, it helps to produce the same character in the life of the one who obeys it. Romans 7, 12 says, so the law is holy and the commandment is holy and righteous and good.

Just as God is holy, His law is holy and will lead us to holiness as we obey it. And Psalm 19, 7 through 11 tells us, the law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.

The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart. The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever. The rules of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold. Sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them as your servant warned, in keeping them there is great reward. Is this how you feel about God's Word?

When we and our children submit to God's will, we'll be revived, we'll become wise, we'll know true joy, we'll see the decisions of life the way God does. We'll live righteously and have an eternal relationship with the Lord.

We'll be warned of the destruction that comes from ignoring God's truth, and we'll receive great reward. As I've already said, there's absolutely nothing more important you can do for your children than ground them deeply in the truths of God.

This is ambassador parenting. Okay, so we need to teach our kids that the complete moral will of God is fully revealed in the Bible, and that the moral will of God is the expression of the character of God.

But we also need to teach our kids that the moral will of God touches every aspect and moment of life. This is true because God's will encompasses more than our superficial behavior. God's not concerned simply with what we do.

He cares equally about why we do it and how we do it. This is the core of our series on how to teach your children to obey on episode 138. To put it another way, God's moral will prescribes the believer's goals and attitudes as well as his actions.

Furthermore, it shapes his perspective of reality, which serves as the context in which decisions are made. Friesen and Maxson, the gentlemen who wrote most of this, go on to say, this point is so important that it merits further consideration.

By their nature, goals are more general than behavioral commands. The Christian's goals should reflect God's stated purposes for his life. And then they list a few of the major goals. Number one, to glorify God in all things, from 1 Corinthians 10 31.

From Romans 14 19, to minister to others. Number three, to fulfill God-given responsibilities, from 1 Peter 4 10 through 11. To evangelize lost people, from Matthew 28 19 through 20 and 2 Peter 3 9. To do good works, from Titus 3 8.

In Colossians 1 10, number six, to produce spiritual fruit. And 1 Thessalonians 4 3 tells us to abstain from fornication. Number eight, to give thanks in all things, from 1 Thessalonians 5 18, which we talked about earlier.

And number nine, to obey authorities, from 1 Peter 2 15. When you teach your kids that the moral will of God contains his complete revelation for faith and life, expresses his own character, and touches every aspect and moment of their lives, you're setting your kids up to have God's Word fully equip them for every good work.

Remember 2 Timothy? All scripture is inspired by God, is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, and the point that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

That's the first principle. And don't forget to check out our episode notes at Taking Back the Bible. I won't have the regular notes you've come to expect. Instead, I'm going to attach a link to the free 11-page PDF handout called Principles for Decision-Making, Living According to God's Will.

It will include today's information and much, much more. Number two is the principle of freedom. Where there is no command, God gives us freedom and responsibility to choose. The reality is that God's Word doesn't give us certain specifics for life, and there are some decisions which have multiple options, any number of which may be acceptable to God.

So, if we're grounded in the first principle, then we understand that our final decision must not be in violation of God's moral will. That, of course, will immediately remove many possible choices from consideration, because they're sinful.

But we also have to acknowledge that God will not always dictate to the believer what he must do. The individual is free to make the decision, and this is not bad. Consider the following. 1 Corinthians 10 .27 teaches us that if one of the unbelievers invites you to dinner and you are disposed to go, eat whatever is set before you without raising any question on the ground of conscience.

2 Corinthians 9 .7 encourages us that each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And 1 Corinthians 7 .39 tells the wife that she is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

Each of these passages leaves necessary room for freedom of choice. And again, this isn't bad. It's the control freak side of us that wants to know that the decision we're making is the right one. But sometimes there are multiple right decisions.

No one is any better than another. Consider Adam and Eve in the garden. God said, don't eat from this tree. Instead, eat from any other tree you want. His moral will was clear. Don't eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

But the fact that God didn't specifically mandate that they were to eat and when they were to eat, it didn't mean that Adam and Eve had to fret over the decision. I don't think this happened, but in my imagination, I can see Adam going to God and saying, may I eat the pineapple?

And God says, of course, eat whatever you want as long as it's not the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But then Eve asks, what about the pears? Should we eat those now or wait until later? Obviously, that illustration is ridiculous, but I believe we fret over similar things.

And I think we fret over them because we feel ill-equipped to discern which of the options is better in the situation. So that leads to principle three, the principle of wisdom. Where there is no command, God gives us wisdom to choose.

I've heard wisdom defined as skill in living. Friesen and Maxson define wisdom this way, quote, the power to see and the inclination to choose the best and highest goal together with the surest means of attaining it.

Wisdom is the ability to recognize what is spiritually profitable in a given situation, unquote. Regardless of how you like to define it, we must understand that wisdom is not a collection of knowledge or facts.

Wisdom is not merely a pithy statement. Wisdom is the action of doing what is best. When it comes to wisdom, we need to acknowledge four things. Number one, the Old Testament teaches wise decision-making by its wisdom books and examples of wise men.

For example, Ecclesiastes 10 .10 says, wisdom helps one to succeed. Number two, Jesus commanded His servants to be wise. In Matthew 10 .16, He said, be wise as serpents. Number three, the apostles modeled wisdom in their decision-making.

In 1 Thessalonians 3 .1, Paul says, we were willing to be left behind. In the King James, it reads, we thought it best. They used the truth God had given them and their own sanctified intellects to make the right decision.

And number four, the apostles command it. Consider Ephesians 5 .15 -16, look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil. But where does one find the kind of wisdom necessary for decision-making?

Ultimately, of course, wisdom comes from God. Proverbs 2 .6 says, for the Lord gives wisdom, from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding. In His very essence, God is wise. He is wisdom. You can read Jom. 9 .4 and 12 .13 for more study on that point.

Also, wisdom cannot be found in its fullness anywhere else but God. Romans 11 .33 and 16 .27 speak to this truth. But we also have to deal with the fact that godly wisdom is not imparted to just anyone.

It is granted only to those who value it enough to pursue it. Proverbs 2 .4 -5 says, if you seek it like silver and search for it as hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

I plan to do a future series called the Circle of Learning. My hope is to equip you to teach your children the biblical truths concerning education, school, learning, and being a lifelong student. But in that study, we'll also talk a great deal about wisdom.

I hope it'll be a great benefit to you and your kids. So, we have the principle of obedience that makes most choices quite easy. Then we have the principle of freedom that should give us a sense of ease in the life choices God's Word doesn't directly address.

But if we're still feeling inadequate to make those choices, the principle of wisdom shows us the only way we can truly make the best decisions. And lastly, number four, the principle of humble trust.

When we have chosen what is moral and wise, we must trust the sovereign God to work all the details together for good. Again, too often we're more concerned with God's sovereign will than we are His moral will.

But we have to come to grips with the fact that we only know the sovereign will of God after it's already happened. In addition, His sovereign will makes allowances for sin that His moral will forbids.

We cannot know for certain God's sovereign will before we make a decision, but we can know these four realities that should give us peace about His sovereign will. Number one, God's sovereign will is certain.

It will be fulfilled. It will not be frustrated by men, angels, or anything else. Daniel 4 .35 teaches us that. To Paul's challenging question, who can resist His will in Romans 9 .19, we are humbly compelled to agree, no one.

Number two, God's sovereign will is detailed. Ephesians 1 .11 teaches us that it is the ultimate determiner of all things, including which of our plans finds fulfillment. And James 4 .13 -15 then builds on that concept.

Number three, God's will is hidden except when revealed by prophecy. As I already observed, Deuteronomy 29 .29 shows us that man can only learn what it is after it happens. The only exceptions to this are statements of prophecy in which events are foretold, such as in 1 Thessalonians 4 .13 -18.

And this also includes the explanations of the destinies of the saved and the lost, like we read in John 3 .16 and John 3 .36. And lastly, God's sovereign will is perfect. It is perfect in the sense that it will ultimately lead to God's greatest glory.

Ephesians 4 .1 tells us there never was another plan. And for those of you who wonder why God would factor sin into His plans, we don't have time to study it out here in any detail. But we know, though sin is contrary to God's moral will, its presence is permitted in God's plan, partly because His conquest of it reveals His grace and power.

God will be glorified for His holiness, for His defeat of Satan, and for His righteous judgment, and for His grace to redeem sinners. You can further study Revelation 5, John 12, 32 -33, and Romans 5 .20, Romans 8 .28 -30, Romans 11 .15, and Romans 11 .30 -33 for more consideration on this powerful doctrine.

I can send my children to the refrigerator and know they will make a good choice concerning what they eat for lunch if they understand and submit to the principles of obedience, freedom, wisdom, and humble trust.

These truths will remove so much of the angst associated with choosing their friends or choosing their college. They also remove so much of the unnecessary difficulties in romantic relationships. So let's wrap this up by looking at a quick and practical example of this from the life of Paul.

Paul's Plans to Visit Rome

Friesen and Maxson call this a case study, Paul's plans to visit Rome. In Romans 1 .8 -13 and chapter 15, verses 20 -29, Paul explained the travel plans by which he hoped to visit Rome. Careful study of these verses reveals the steps in Paul's decision-making process.

I highly recommend making this study part of your family's Bible time. Read the passages I'm going to cite and discuss them. Make sure your kids truly understand how the pieces fit together and how they can be fleshed out in their own lives.

And there are six points. Number one, Paul's purposes. Paul adopted spiritual goals that were based on God's moral will. We see these in Romans 1 .11 -13 and verse 20 of chapter 15. Number two, Paul's priorities.

Since Paul didn't know how much time he had, he arranged his goals into wise priorities, determining what should be done first, second, third, etc. We see some of this in Romans 15 .23 -28. Number three, Paul's plans.

Next, he devised plans that gave him a strategy for accomplishing his purposes. This is evident in chapter 1, verse 13 and 15 .23 -28. Number four, Paul's prayer. Romans 1 .8 -10 shows us that through prayer he submitted himself and his plans to the sovereign will of God, like we learned in James.

Number five, Paul's perseverance. When providentially hindered from accomplishing his plans, he assumed that the delay was God's sovereign will. This conviction freed him from discouragement. Since his plans were sound, the only thing he adjusted was the timetable.

This is explained in 1 .10 -13 and again in 15 .22 -24. And number six, Paul's presentation. In Romans 1 .8 -13 and chapter 15 verses 20 -29, Paul explained his decisions on the basis of God's moral will and his own personal application of wisdom.

The postscript to this discussion is that Paul did eventually make it to Jerusalem, Rome, and possibly even Spain in that order. He did have to modify his plans somewhat along the way for the two-year stopover at the Caesarean jail and the shipwreck at Malta had not been included in Paul's original projections.

Nor did Paul just visit the Romans in passing. His confinement under house arrest delayed his plans for westward advancement for at least two years. On the plus side though, Paul's transportation from Palestine to Rome was provided courtesy of Caesar, who also furnished a military escort for his protection.

And the period of imprisonment was used by Paul to pen a major portion of what has become the New Testament. Because Paul responded properly to God's guidance in various forms, Paul became a model of one who engaged in long-range planning on the one hand and snatched up present opportunities on the other.

Interruptions became occasions for personal growth and ministry and it's just such a balance that believers should seek to maintain and that our kids are going to need to learn. There isn't a choice you or your kids will have to make that won't fall under at least one of these principles.

Please share this episode with your friends so they too can be equipped to help their children discover God's will for their lives. And as we've already discussed, one of the big things God wants your children to be is a servant.

On our next episode, Jessica Mayer will join me to discuss the importance of this topic and share some very practical examples of how to help your children become a servant. Of course, don't forget about Counselor at TruthLoveParent .com.

You can email us for free about whatever you like and our TLP mentorship program is a paid program that will help you work through the insight tool with your kids. You can know God's will for your life, your child can know God's will for their lives, and.

We're here to help you find it. See you next time. Truth. Love. Parent is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional premeditated parent. Join us next time as we search God's word for the truth your family needs today.