Saved From Small Faith - [Matthew 8:23-27]

Well, it's kind of hard to imagine that about a hundred and sixty hours ago I was in Poland preaching, standing in a building that used to be the German mess hall for the Nazi German soldiers, the Wehrmacht, and then now it's turned into a place to have a worship service for the Lord Jesus Christ.

It's pretty amazing over there. The church in the Czech Republic is meeting now at a disco. They took the disco ball down, but they're meeting in this disco bar. And he said, I want to give you a little tour of the town.

So we went outside. Behind the church there's a large lake, and he said, this is where we do baptisms. I said, well, you know, what do you do in the winter? He said, you chop out a hole and then you baptize people.

And so we have people with shovels and sledgehammers, and then they get a hole, and then I get in and baptize them. I'd always heard about this. I thought, it's true, though. Can you imagine a little bulletin insert?

Needed strong men and women to chop ice for the baptism. And so that was very encouraging. And then I went to the church in Poland there for a conference. And this church is in a, well, all of Poland is Roman Catholic, but very Catholic town.

And so people think that this is kind of a weird cult. These people read the Bible and study the Bible and talk about Jesus alone. The people that lived above them at the last location, every Sunday would throw potatoes at the people going into the church service to try to not let them assemble.

And then my friend Tomek said, the pastor, I invited one of my local friends who's not a Christian. He's like the big town bully to church, and he finally came one Sunday. And the guy who throws potatoes thought he was part of the church and he was a Christian and wouldn't do anything back.

So when the potatoes went flying, my friend went to do a little enforcing. And so he pummeled the guy, not with potatoes, but with his fists. Then the guy upstairs called social services and called the Polish government and said, these people are abusing children and doing bad things to children, so there's a huge investigation.

And the attache comes out to investigate, and the main lady investigating would have to ask the pastor, who are you and what do you believe and what's going on and are there background checks and all this stuff?

Anyway, she talked to so many people at the church that God saved her. She's now part of that local church. What do you guys believe again? Who's this Jesus to you? We were rejoicing in the Lord's goodness there in the Czech Republic.

There were about 300 young 20-some-year-olds listening to the gospel preaching. I trust in the Lord to some degree, and when I watch Jesus heal the leper, I think the power of God. When I watch in Scripture Jesus talking to the centurion and healing the centurion's servant, I think the power of God.

Jesus has credentials that only the Messiah would have. Jesus heals Peter's mother-in-law, and I think the power of God. Who wouldn't trust in the power of God? He's the Messiah after all. But when you're in the trial yourself, it's a lot different.

Oh yeah, trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him. He'll make your paths straight. I went to a home in the Czech Republic. They had these little Czech kiwis.

They're small like grapes. You just eat the whole thing. Oh, try that. Oh, we've got some strudel from Germany. Oh, let's try some of that. Oh, we have some hazelnuts here, and there's just a big bowl of them, and you just try some of those.

Oh, I like hazelnuts. I like those. Ten minutes later, anaphylactic shock. I'm getting rushed to the Czech hospital. I'm in the front seat of the car. It's midnight. Roddick's praying for me. He's got his eyes open.

That was good. And my face is swollen. My throat's swollen. I can't breathe very well. I didn't think I was going to go to hell when I died. I was certain I would go to heaven. You know, it keeps getting darker, darker, darker, darker, and then it's just like instantaneous light.

You're in heaven. But I was praying. I was like, Lord, what's Kim going to do? What are the kids going to do without their dad? And I got a little flicker of this. Yes, I know He's the Messiah. I know He's great.

I know He'll take care of me. I know He could take care of the kids. But then there's that little bit of, well, what's going to happen to them? They need a dad. She needs a husband. Let's turn our Bibles to Matthew 8 and see the exact same thing happening with the disciples.

They believe. They follow. But there's still a faith that needs to be matured, and Jesus is going to help mature their faith by giving them a glimpse of His deity. Today, Matthew 8, verses 23 through 27.

We'll finish next week, Lord willing, if I'm alive. Verses 28 through 32, and then get into Ruth. But today, Matthew 8, verses 23 through 27, Jesus again is shown as the King by Matthew. And here, Matthew pushes together all kinds of incidents that show the power and credentials of Jesus as the Messiah, even though they're not chronological.

At the end of chapter 7, where the Sermon on the Mount ends, who talks this way? Who speaks this way? Who does these things? And now we get the answer by Matthew putting these powerful healings and powerful casting-out-demon episodes together so that we would all say, What kind of man is this?

John 8. The man asked Jesus, Who are you? And if Jesus is the Messiah, since He is the Messiah, then we ought to trust Him and follow Him. If He's just a man, follow Him halfway. If He's just a man, follow Him once in a while.

If He's just a man, follow Him when He's doing the right things. But if He's God, you have to follow Him all the way. What kind of man is this? Easy to trust in the Lord when it's someone else in trouble, but what about you?

Take a look at Matthew 8, verses 18 through 22, just to set the scene a little bit, because we saw this several weeks ago. Now, when Jesus saw a crowd, Matthew 8, 18, around Him, He gave orders to go to the other side or go over to the other side.

A scribe came up to Him and said, Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go. Jesus said to him, Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man, this Daniel 7, Son of Man, the Messiah, has nowhere to lay His head.

Another of His disciples said to Him, Lord, let me go and bury my father. And Jesus said to him, Follow Me and leave the dead to bury their own dead. The scribe didn't want to follow. This man didn't want to follow.

But some did follow. Look at verse 23, And when He got on the boat, His disciples followed Him. They've got a little faith, but it's still faith. There are some that are going to follow Jesus, and now Jesus is going to do something extraordinary so that everyone says, Only God could do this.

Only the Messiah could do this. Who does these kind of things? It doesn't take you very long to look at the news in the last 24 hours and say, Who can control the sea? Who can control typhoons and floodings in the Philippines?

That's a lot of power in water. Who can tame the sea? Who can control the ocean? Now, we know the Messiah prophesied of in the Old Testament would heal people, but also make sure in your mind you remember that the Old Testament spoke of God alone controlling the sea.

We're going to see these genuine yet flawed disciples who have a weak faith be bolstered in their faith as they see Jesus as the God-man in their boat so that they might trust Him and follow Him in discipleship.

So let's just kind of work through the passage and then we'll get to following Jesus at the end. He got into the boat. His disciples followed Him. These disciples did leave land. They did leave houses.

They did leave jobs. They really followed. They're not perfect disciples, but at least they're following. Jesus said, Follow Me, and they trusted Him and they obeyed Him. And Jesus gets into the boat, and you know right where this is taking place.

Who's been to the Sea of Galilee before? Some? Okay. February 2015, Bethlehem Bible Church, Savior Shekels. This is the Sea of Tiberias, the Lake of Galilee. Small boat. They're going to get into the boat and work their way across the sea.

Mark calls it on that day. He calls it that day. What day was that? It was a busy day. Pharisee says, You're a blasphemer. Mothers and brothers try to kidnap Him. He teaches parables by the sea, in the house, out of the house, over the sea.

It's hot, presumably. It's busy. And Jesus says, I want to go to the other side. Why? Well, maybe you say He wants to get away from folks and have some rest. There's nothing wrong with a Sabbath rest.

That's not the reason. Well, maybe Jesus knows ahead of time, I've got to go to the other side to cast out the legion of demons out of the Gadarene. Well, He knows that. That's for certain. But right now, there's going to be a little test.

They've learned, the disciples, Jesus, as the Messiah, has powerful compassion over leprosy. And He can cast out demons. But when you're in the test, it's one thing to say, Oh yeah, be faithful unto death.

Trust in the Lord. He'll take care of you. God's sovereign. Romans 8 .28. But what about you, when you're the one who's about ready to die? So Jesus is going to give them a little field trip. This is kind of like a Juana field trip.

Council time. Do you trust Jesus enough to follow Him? Now, there are some other boats, Mark says, that went along with Jesus. Tried to keep up with them, but probably the storm blew them back. We don't really know.

But there were other boats with Him. And the people that were in the boat with Jesus, don't forget, most of them were fishermen. Or at least many of them were fishermen. This is an ordinary journey. If I told you, after church, why don't you take a trip down to Walmart on West Boylston?

Why don't you drive down to the Greendale Mall? Why don't you drive up to the Sears Town Mall? You'd say, Oh yeah, I just know what to do. I don't need GPS. I do that all the time. We just go. These disciples, Peter, Andrew, James, and John, at least, knew this lake.

They knew about how windy it could get, how vicious it could get. The squalls could come in. 9 ,200 feet up Mount Hermon was. The cold air comes zooming down into the valley onto the low sea of Galilee, 700 feet below the sea and causing all kinds of chaos.

They knew all that. And they're in the boat with Jesus. And look what Matthew says in Matthew 8, verse 24,. And behold, Matthew regularly says it like this to get our attention. Something comes up quickly before your very eyes.

This is happening now as you read it. There arose a great storm on the sea. Matthew likes to call it the sea. So that the boat was being swamped by the waves, but he was asleep. But he was asleep. Oh, one minute it's Lake Placid.

It's calm and nice. And the next minute, squall. Dr. Thompson wrote in his book, Small as the lake is, I have repeatedly seen it quiver and leap and boil like a cauldron. Just imagine boiling water in a pan, bubbling.

And the text says, this is wild, there was a great storm. A mega storm. A mega storm. I mean, it was big. And here, the word is seismos. It's an unusual word for seismic activity. I don't know if there was an earthquake under the sea.

That could be true. Or if it was just like the effects of water during an earthquake. Now, when I lived in Los Angeles, weird things would happen with earthquakes. They would say, if you're driving down the road and it feels like you have a flat tire and you get out and you don't see a flat tire, you know it's been an earthquake.

I've been in an earthquake before, the big one, with Kim and I and Haley. And you get out of the house and you look back at your house and your house is going like this. You just think, I think I better move to New England.

I think God's calling me to New England. It's just a shaking. Sometimes in earthquakes, there's just a quick snap and then kind of this low-grade feeling. Or sometimes it's just really rumbling and you're feeling it.

So Matthew is using this storm that God has ordained. You know what it sounds like to me? It sounds like Jonah chapter 1. And Yahweh hurled a great storm. Sovereignly, all perfectly made. Why? It's going to teach these men, here's the lesson.

When you're afraid, when you're fearful, what's the response? What do we do? Here's an earthquake, shaken, and great magnitude of turbulence. And what's happening? The waves are coming over the boat, covering the boat.

One man called it submerged by the waves. You can't think it's just some little lake. No, these wind tunnels, the treacherous activity. Luke calls it coming down where the storm falls suddenly onto the boat.

Mark calls it a great windstorm, a squall. Just turn on the TV and you'll see exactly what it looked like. The Arabic for this kind of squall is sharqiyah. Root word shark. It's treacherous. The boat was being swamped by the waves.

Mark says wave after wave after wave after wave. And emphatically at the end of the sentence in the Greek as well, and in English, verse 24, but he, however, Greek, was sleeping. Over against the other people, Jesus is sleeping.

Foxes have holes, birds of the air has nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head. But now he's got something. He's at least got a cushion. Sleeping. This is the only place we hear about Jesus sleeping.

During a storm is right here. He emphatically is sleeping. Sounds like somebody else was sleeping in the Old Testament in a boat, but he was sleeping for a different reason, Jonah. Now remember, Jesus was fully man.

I pretty much have the same MO every single Sunday. Get up and preach first service. Do Sunday school slash discipleship. Preach second service. Go home, eat, pass out. Wake up, come back here and preach again.

Pass out. It makes you tired. I'm not asking for all your sympathy or anything, but pastors all know, preachers know. It's tiring to preach. Jesus is preached all day. He's sleeping. He's fully man. And he's got his head, Mark says, on the cushion, on the thing for the head.

What do you give people who aren't fishermen? You give them this little cushion for the newbie deals, kind of the thing you set on, a little cushion. And Jesus must be tired because he slept through this kind of storm.

The full humanity of Jesus. It reminds me of Hebrews 4. Jesus, our substitute, yes, but here our representative. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.

Verse 25, And they went and awoke him, saying, Save us, Lord, we are perishing. Very terse, very, in the original, Lord, save, we perish. Save us. They're not getting, if I could put this in theological terms, the Christological belief so that they trust in God no matter what.

We're perishing. We're going down. We're going down with a ship. There's water everywhere. I'm sure they're saying it out loud. We're dying. Mark even tells us that they said to Jesus, Teacher, don't you care that we're perishing?

You don't even love us enough. Now, the good news is they realize that he's Lord. It says Lord there in 825. That God could save them, rescue them. We're not talking about safe from sins here. This is just rescuing.

But if you're on a boat and the boat's going down, I don't go to the carpenter. I go to the fishermen. I go to the boat people. You ever go up to Bath, Maine, and see how they make the boats and they roll them down the big, whatever they call them.

It's a technical word for them, the rollers. What are they, Charlie? Do we know? I'm dying. Don't you care that we're perishing? They say in Mark's account. They're going to the carpenter. They're going to Jesus.

That part's good. It's a violent storm. But it kind of sounds like Martha to Jesus. Lord, if you had been here, my brother wouldn't have died. We're going to drown for all you care, Jesus. I'm sure it was loud.

I'm sure they're afraid. Verse 26. Now, read this like you're reading it for the first time. I know you all know the passage. If I was Jesus, I would do it the opposite way. I would rebuke the winds, then give them a little lesson.

Jesus doesn't do that, does he? Matthew 8 says, he said to them. So he's going to talk to them about discipleship first, then he's going to calm the sea. Why are you afraid, O you of little faith? Only use it to the disciples.

Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. Help us. We're going to perish. The plea for deliverance. We're going to die. And Jesus doesn't calm the storm yet. He rebukes their little faith.

Men of little faith. They've got some faith. They followed. But they've got little faith. Should be greater faith. They've already seen him do all these things in Matthew 8. But to show his credentials, he then does what?

He rose and rebuked the winds and the sea. If you only rebuke the wind, the sea would still churn. If you only rebuke the sea, the winds would keep going and make it all chaotic again. So he rebukes both, and there was a great calm.

We've got the great waves, the great storm, now the great calm. Jesus doesn't say to them, you don't have any knowledge. They've got knowledge, but he wants them to remember that Jesus, the Son of God, Messiah, is on the boat, seeing Jesus properly in trials.

Now, see, what the liberals do is this, that Jesus really didn't stop the wind and the waves. He just calmed the fears of the winds and the waves in the disciples' hearts because they don't want a supernatural Jesus.

So I don't like that about the liberal approach at all. No one would read this and say, oh, that's what is happening. But what is true is this. When I watch Jesus show his divine credentials, I've seen him sleeping on the boat in the passage.

He's fully human, but now he's fully divine. When I see Jesus show his divine credentials, he's wanting these disciples in a trial to see that Jesus is the powerful God of the universe. And anything less than that is a wavering faith, is a little faith.

In other words, faith in who this God is drives out the fear. You have like a little teeter-totter. As your trust driven by the Spirit of God and the risen Savior increases, faith increases, fear comes out.

It drives itself out. You ask yourself the question, what's the opposite of anxiety? And people say, oh, I struggle with anxiety, I have anxiety issues. Does this have anything to do with anxiety? Is there any kind of principle I could say, as the disciples needed to trust in the God of the universe who was in their boat, so do I need to be trusting in that same God?

It's not a liberal application, it's true. Let's think about it just for a second. If I'm afraid or anxious or have faith, it all has to do with how I see the object of my faith. I mean really, stop and think about it for a second.

If I thought rightly as a disciple, if I'm Peter, I see Jesus in the boat. Here's the way I should have thought about things. Wait a second. Jesus is virgin born. He has the credentials of royalty. The forerunner John the Baptist has come and said, make straight the ways of the Lord.

He's been tempted by Satan and he never gave in. He preached that sermon on the mount. And he's told me that he's on his way to Calvary to die on the cross, a sinner's death and be raised from the dead.

Jesus can't die in the boat because he hasn't died yet on the cross. There's no way he's going to die. Jesus has been raised up as the Messiah to do the messianic work. Isaiah 61, Isaiah 35. And until that work is done, he's not going to die.

Jesus can't die in the boat. I'm in the boat with him. Mark says that Jesus said, why are you so afraid? Because as the ESV study Bible rightly says, the antidote to fear is faith. The antidote of anxiety is trust.

Jesus said in Mark, why are you so timid? Why are you so fearful? I'm expecting more out of you. They want to know why Jesus isn't afraid. Jesus wants to know why they are afraid. How is it that you have no faith?

Yeah, but it's easy. I know you're the Messiah when you're taking care of the leper, but now I'm in trouble. Now my health is in trouble. Now I'm in danger. What about that? And so what's so obvious in Scripture isn't so obvious in our own lives.

I always use this illustration because it's true. Why is the providence of God so obvious in Genesis 37 to 50? You just go, you know what? I just look at that and I go, God's sovereignly controlling everything.

They meant it for evil. God meant it for good. Romans 8 .28. I just see it. It just kind of ebbs out of Genesis 37 to 50. God is providentially guiding Joseph. It's obvious. Why is it so obvious in Genesis 37 to 50?

Because in my life it's not so obvious. It doesn't seem so obvious. But the same God of Genesis 37 to 50 has been my God because of what Christ has done for me. And it's the same thing here. Years ago we went to Scotland and it was St. George's Tron.

Alexander had just retired and Sinclair Ferguson was the pastor. I was preaching through Mark. And you know what? Every sermon in Mark was the same. Jesus is awesome. And in me I wanted to tell people, because Jesus is awesome, here's like three steps, three practical applications in light of Jesus being awesome.

But it was like every week it was the same thing. I said, Dr. Ferguson, I'm a pastor and I'm preaching through Mark. I'm just new at this. Could you help me somehow? How do I manage through this? I'm preaching through Mark and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

He does all these things. Who talks like Jesus? Who acts like Jesus? Who does these things? He's amazing. But I feel like I want to tell people, do something. And then Dr. Ferguson said, I wish I could speak in a Scottish brogue.

I so wish I could. The church would be bigger, I know. It would. He looked at me and he said, Mike, is there anything wrong with just showing people the greatness of Jesus every week? Show people the object of their faith and when they see His power in the lives of His disciples.

I'm not trying to make this walk on all fours. I got a storm in my heart. Jesus stills it. I'm not trying to do that at all. I'm just saying, behold your God. This is the God of the Bible. This is your God.

And so if you've got fear and anxiety and everything else, let me just show you who Jesus is. This is why every day when I get up and read the Bible, I don't wake up like Jesus and immediately just start ordering things.

I have to get up, get my coffee, do all that. But 20 minutes into it, I open my Bible to either Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. Why? Because I just want to see who this Jesus is again. To be reminded. Oh, I read other parts of the Bible too, but my mind so easily forgets.

You know, my problem is I forget what I'm supposed to remember. I remember what I'm supposed to forget. It's easy to draw messianic conclusions when somebody else is in the hot seat. But this God is our God by His grace.

And He deals with their faith first. Then He rose and rebuked the wind and the sea and there was a great calm. By the way, this is language of exorcism. I don't know if the sea was demonically oppressed, if Satan was doing something to the sea or not.

I don't need to know. It was acting like it sure was. And with the language of, Mark says, be muzzled, be gagged, be still. If I talk to a dog, sit, be still, stay. That's the language. And there was a great calm.

I mean, it didn't just slowly die out. Sudden cessation, flat. Now, who does that? I mean, just stand there at the jetty in the Philippines and yell at the ocean, stop, quit, as thousands upon thousands of people die.

Be quiet. Cease. Hush. Jesus doesn't use beads. He doesn't use incense. He doesn't give some kind of Latin deal. He just says, shut up. Be silent. See? Because our kids know, right? Our society knows today.

Never say the word, shut up. They're like, Pastor Mike just says, shut up. No, Jesus said it. In Mark, he said, be quiet. That's how he talked to the demon in Mark 1. Be quiet. And the tense is in Mark, put a muzzle on it and keep a muzzle on it.

The wind died down and became perfectly calm with the word. Not gradual. It's like they're in the eye of the hurricane. One minute, Jesus is sleeping. He's fully human, and he had to be to be our representative.

And the next minute, the God of the creator, Jesus the creator, rather, I think of Colossians 1, for by him all things were created, including the Sea of Galilee, including Mount Hermon, both in the heavens and on earth, visible, invisible, whether thrones, dominions, rulers, authorities, all things, including those disciples, have been created by Jesus and for Jesus.

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together, stilling the sea. And then what do they say? The men marveled, saying, what sort of man? The men knew this wasn't a regular kind of man.

The men marveled, saying, what sort of man is this? Literally, what sort is this? Because only God, think Old Testament, only God can control the winds and the sea. And you know what they were thinking if they were thinking about the Old Testament.

Many times in the Old Testament, Yahweh alone controls the sea. But there's one time that we really think, all right, remember Exodus, and remember the Egyptian armies there, mountain here, mountain here, and the ocean there, and God says, go through it, go through the Red Sea.

How do you get two million people in one watch of the night to get through the Red Sea? A little single file? It would take 14 days to go single file through that. So you open it up to be about one mile.

From one kilometer to one mile wide, you make everything dry, and you put three people through that, and that God who did that is in my boat. Now if that God can do that, I'm afraid I'm going to die? Turn to Psalm 107, and let me give you just a little taste of what the Old Testament says about God alone possessing power over oceans.

I mean, who's got power over the ocean? Who's got power over the sea? There are places we can't even go down to the sea yet, haven't even been explored. Jesus has divine credentials. Jesus isn't just the disciples, God.

He's adopted you in the family. This, behold your God. I'll never leave you nor forsake you. Psalm 107. Now what Psalm 107 is showing us is four groups of people in distress, and who God is in the middle of the distress.

This particular group, found in verses 23 and following, are in distress because they're caught in a storm. It's like they're ready to be shipwrecked in the rocks. Psalm 107, my point here again is Jesus does only what God can do, because Jesus is God.

Some went down, Psalm 107 .23, to the sea and ships, doing business on the great waters. They saw the deeds of the Lord Yahweh, His wondrous works in the deeps. For He commanded and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves in the sea.

They mounted up to heaven. They went down to the depths. Their courage melted away in their evil plight. You can see them go up on top of the wave and down to the bottom of the wave. They reeled and staggered like drunken men and were at their wits' end.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. He, God alone, can do it. Yahweh, verse 24, verse 28, Lord, capital L-O-R-D, He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed.

What's the response? They were glad that the waters were quiet, and He brought them to their desired haven. Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for His wondrous works to the children of man.

Let them extol Him in the congregation of the people and praise Him in the assembly of the elders. The elders. William Hendrickson said, It takes a God to change the weather. I love it in Job 38. God said, I fixed the limits for the sea.

I set its doors and bars in place. When I said, Thus far you can come and no farther, here is where your proud waves halt. Power over nature. Power over sea. Power over the devil's sway. Back to Matthew chapter 8 again.

So I ask you the question. They ask the question. Now I'll ask you the question. What sort of man is this? Well, we know He's the virgin-born Redeemer who's come to save His people from their sins by dying on the cross and being raised from the dead.

Little faith was only seeing the surface of things, not remembering who God, in fact, was. Jesus shows that He's sovereign over the winds, sovereign over the waves, where only Yahweh was in the Old Testament.

I don't know if you know this or not, but there's lots of miracles in the Bible where somebody's healed. There's lots of miracles where people are having demons cast out of them, but there's hardly any where it shows supernatural power over nature.

Much more rare in Jewish and Christian circles. And just like Psalm 37, if this is our God, then what's our response? Follow Him wherever He'll go. Discipleship. The implications for discipleship are clear.

Mark says they were filled after Jesus calmed the waves. Afterwards, they were filled with great fear. Now, first you're afraid. Then you fear a great fear, literally. Why? Storm's over. But Jesus, God, is in your boat and Jesus is holy.

They realize they're not. What sort of man is this? And we don't even get the answer. You don't need the answer. Nobody needs to record the answer, what sort of man is this, because it's the Son of God, the Son of Man.

Do you believe it? What we do when we're having fearful times and times of anxiety, I'll just make it as simple as you can. I would read Matthew 8. When you're having an anxiety attack or you're having...

I just heard this week that telling someone who's got an anxiety attack to read their Bible and pray is basically doing damage to them. Oh, can you do more for the people? Can you come alongside? I get all that.

My problem is when I'm afraid, I'm not trusting. When I have anxiety, I'm not trusting. I need a good glimpse again of who this God is. Sitting there choking, thinking I can't breathe. And my focus is...

I hate to say this, because it's going to probably sound rude, especially with my family and kids like in the second row. But I got kind of the wrong focus. My focus is Kim. My focus is kids. My focus should be, you know what?

If I'm not supposed to die, I'm living. And if I'm supposed to die, Obamacare can't save me. I mean, I'm so... That's what I got. I got Obamacare because I went in... In India, you pay cash before you get treated.