Guarding the Honor of Marriage (Hebrews 13:4) | Worship Service

Good morning. Good morning and welcome to Kootenai Church today. Would you please stand as we begin our service this morning with a call to worship from Psalm 145. And it says, I will exalt you, my God, O King, and I will bless your name forever and ever.

Every day I will bless you, and I will praise your name forever and ever. Great is Yahweh and highly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable. One generation shall laud your works to another and shall declare your mighty deeds.

On the glorious splendor of your majesty and on the words of your wondrous deeds I will muse. Men shall speak of the strength of your fearsome acts, and I will recount your greatness. They shall pour forth the memory of your abundant goodness and will shout joyfully of your righteousness.

Yahweh is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and great in loving kindness. So let's begin our music this morning and sing how great.

I'll bless your name, O God, each day that I awake. From dawn to setting sun, your greatness I'll proclaim. Your glory far exceeds all human thought. So with each breath I'll bless your name. Your name will my children, as generations sing.

Your strong hand is near. Rejoice when works of wicked men you finally destroy. I'll proclaim till Christ descends, and you will is the glory to be and strength. Until glory we will and sing a father here on this be our hope and strength until glory.

For the first new song of this year we're going to sing Thy Mercy. Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song. The joy of my heart and the boast of my tongue. Thy free grace alone from the first to the last hath won my affections and bound my soul fast.

Without thy sweet mercy I could not live here. Sin would reduce me to utter despair, but through thy free goodness my spirits revive. And he that first made me still keeps me alive. Mercy is more than a match for my heart, which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.

Dissolved by thy goodness I fall to the ground and weep for the praise of the mercy I found. Mercy's thy goodness I own and the covenant love of thy crucified son. All praise to the spirit whose working divine seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.

All praise to the spirit whose working divine seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine. Hallelujah. The most pressing announcement that I would have is.

Regarding the annual business meeting coming up two weeks from today. That is a potluck after our normal morning service. We turn this into a dining hall and we'll have a meal together and then a business meeting to follow that.

So please mark that on your calendar and plan to attend. And now will you please turn to the book of Genesis to chapter two. Genesis chapter two. I find it quite providential as often happens that our subject matter here in the book of Hebrews for the next few weeks is going to dovetail very well with the Sunday school lessons that David Forsyth has been taking us through in adult Sunday school class.

We're going to be talking today about marriage and so we're going back to the creation of man and woman and the institution of marriage in the garden of Eden. Genesis chapter two and we're going to begin reading at verse 15.

Then the Lord took, Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The Lord God commanded the man saying from any tree of the garden you may eat freely but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.

Then the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky and brought them to the man to see what he would call them.

And whatever the man called a living creature that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and to every beast of the field but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and he slept then he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man and brought her to the man.

The man said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. You stand with me as we pray. Our father it is by your mercy and grace that we gather here together to worship you today. It is because of what you have done in your son to call us to yourself to provide salvation, to atone for our sin, to give us a kingdom and bring us into fellowship with you through the work of the son on the cross and the wooing and drawing and regenerating work of your spirit.

So we thank you for such mercy and we have sung of your greatness, we've sung of your great mercy, your great goodness, your great love for us. As our hearts and minds reflect upon that we cannot be but overwhelmed by the goodness and grace of all the blessings you have lavished upon us.

We thank you that as we proclaim your goodness and reflect upon them that you work in our hearts through your word to cause us to be conformed into the image of Christ. We pray that as we reflect upon your greatness and your glory and your majesty that the beholding of your will and of your son in the pages of scripture may serve to shape us into his image and and sanctify us from one degree of glory to the next.

We would desire to be instruments and vessels through which you would manifest your grace and your goodness. We pray that you would make us worshipers of our triune God that we would through the lifting of our voices and the affections of our hearts and our obedience to your word that we would honor and glorify you and fulfill the purpose for which you have saved us and called us into fellowship with yourself.

Be honored through this we pray, we pray that you would work in us every grace and that your spirit would work in our hearts and in our minds and that even today you may in some measure and in some way conform us to the image of Christ.

Glorify yourself through this service we pray and help us to sing as those who have been freed from our sin who love the Lord Jesus Christ and who have given our lives in service and obedience to him.

We pray that our voices may reflect the affections and the desires of our hearts and you would be glorified through them in Christ's name. Amen.

Your words are wonderful unfolding like the dawn a wellspring and the rock we rest upon. We trust your promises that keep our hope alive. They steady us throughout life's weary climb. Where else can we go.

Where else can we go. You have the the words your hope then us to shine against the dark lord guard us from the enemy will speak. No guilt remains for those you hide. We go we go. Your glory your glory.

Give us here eyes to see. Help us in our doubt unbelief. Give us help us us. In ephesians chapter two verses one to five it says. And you were dead in your transgressions.

And sins in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world according to the ruler of the power of the air the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience among whom we all also formerly conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh doing the desires of the flesh and of the mind and were by nature children of wrath even as the rest.

But god being rich in mercy because of his great love with which he loved us even when we were dead in our transgressions made us alive together with christ by grace.

You have been saved. Let's sing together. Oh great god oh great god of highest death occupy my lowly heart own it all and reign supreme conquer every rebel power let no vice or sin remain that resists your holy war.

You have loved and purchased me make me yours forever. I was blinded by my sin had no ears to hear did not know your love within. Then your spirit opened up your through the god your son. Will you now please turn to hebrews chapter 13.

Hebrews chapter 13. And we're going to begin reading at chapter 12 verse 28 and we'll read through the end of verse 6 in chapter 13 beginning chapter 12 verse 28. Therefore since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken let us show gratitude by which we may offer to god an acceptable service with reverence and awe for our god is a consuming fire.

Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember the prisoners as though in prison with them and those who are ill-treated.

Since you yourselves also are in the body. Marriage is to be held in honor among all and the marriage bed is to be undefiled for fornicators and adulterers. God will judge. Make sure that your character is free from the love of money being content with what you have.

For he himself has said i will never desert you nor will i ever forsake you so that we may confidently say the lord is my helper and will not be afraid. What will man do to me. This power has. And ask god's blessing on this time our father.

Our prayer is simple. That you would help both hearer and speaker to clearly understand your word. That you would use your word to to shape and to mold us our character our behavior our lives and our thinking.

That you would subdue in us every rebel power and every sin and that you would conform us to the image of christ. That you would be honored and glorified through our thoughts our words and our deeds. And we pray that that may happen here today as we meditate and think upon your word and the profound realities that it communicates to us regarding marriage and our responsibilities therein.

The Call to Honor Marriage in Hebrews 13:4

We pray this for the sake of christ and for his glory. Amen. Marriage is what brings us together today. I have always wanted to say that at the beginning of a wedding that i've officiated i've never had the courage to do it though.

I probably would have come closest at one of the weddings that i officiated for one of my children if i'm ever diagnosed with cancer. And i know i've got one wedding ceremony left to do and i'm given the opportunity to do it.

That's how i'm going to begin. But i can say that today at the beginning of our service because that is the subject matter that we are dealing with here in hebrews chapter 13 verse 4 marriage is to be held in honor among all and the marriage bed is to be undefiled for fornicators and adulterers.

God will judge. This is the next in a series of exhortations and applications that are found here in this 13th chapter of hebrews. As the author concludes this book he is he is concerned to press home to us some of the essential applications of biblical truth that he has spent 12 chapters unfolding.

For us it feels like 12 years but for them it was just 12 chapters. This is part of running the race that is set before us. We are exhorted and encouraged as kingdom citizens to fix our hope on the finish line and to run the race that is set before us so that we may receive the prize.

And this is what running the race looks like. It looks like obeying these commands. Now there's just one sentence here on the subject of marriage in verse 4 and there's no detailed explanation. There's no long exposition or theological treatment of the significance of marriage.

We have here just one command to honor marriage and to protect the marriage bed. And at first glance it seems as if this exhortation is sort of out of place. It's a little bit odd. It doesn't seem like it belongs in the overall theology of the book of hebrews.

We might expect a statement like this in the passage where paul deals with the subject of marriage in ephesians chapter 5 like we've been handling in adult sunday school class this last number of weeks paul there gives a detailed explanation of the roles in marriage and the theological significance behind marriage.

Or we might expect a statement like this to appear in first peter chapter 3 where the apostle peter deals with godly living in a hostile world and what that looks like even in the home. And there he he deals with the subject of believing women who have unbelieving husbands whom peter says are disobedient to the word.

And he talks there about the conduct for both men and women in fulfilling their roles in the relationship within the home. But here's this command regarding marriage in a context where we do not readily expect it.

Hebrews is a book that compares jesus with all the functions and features of the old covenant. It is a book intended to show that jesus is greater than the angels. He's greater than moses. He's greater than aaron.

He is greater than the old testament priesthood. He's greater than all of the sacrifices. In fact name your old testament hero. Jesus surpasses them all. And not only that but his life is greater than all of their lives.

His sacrifice greater than all old testament sacrifices his work and ministry greater than all old testament works and ministries. It is intended to compare christ with all of those things aaron melchizedek their works their priesthood everything from the old testament.

And the theme of all of the book of hebrews is that jesus is greater than all of that. So where does. Where does marriage and moral purity and guarding the marriage bed. Where does that fit into the book of hebrews.

For instance back in chapter 7 when we were looking at the passage that compares the melchizedekian priesthood with the priesthood of jesus and the ironic priesthood. We're looking at that passage. And we saw how levi was in the loins of abraham and abraham paid tithes to melchizedek and therefore levi was paying tithes to melchizedek.

And therefore melchizedek is greater than levi. And if melchizedek is greater than levi than the priesthood that melchizedek had which is without beginning and without end is greater than the priesthood that levi was given and therefore his sons.

And and therefore aaron it's greater than all of that. How many of you when we went through chapter 7 were thinking to yourself. I bet that there's a verse on the purity of the marriage bed and honoring marriage somewhere in this epistle just seems out of place doesn't it.

Or when we're in chapter 8 and we're dealing with the new covenant and the glories of the new covenant and how it surpasses the old covenant. And we got that exposition of jeremiah chapter 31 and the explanation of how the old testament was nothing but shadows and symbols.

And the new testament is the fulfillment of all of that. And the greater covenant. Were any of you thinking to yourself this would be the perfect place to work in a verse on honoring marriage and the marriage bed.

Any of you thought that. Some of you were thinking that was so long ago. I don't even remember what i was thinking back when we covered that. Or how many of you when we were in chapter 9 looking at the tabernacle and the furniture and the day of atonement and the sprinkling of blood on the altar once a year behind the veil and comparing that to the work of jesus in offering one sacrifice for sins and then forever sitting down at the right hand of the father.

How many of you thought to yourself. I think that honoring the marriage and the marriage bed is the perfect application of this truth. In fact if you go back and you listen to some of those messages you'll probably not hear me make that draw that application at all in any of that.

So what does marriage and honoring the marriage and the marriage bed have to do with the book of hebrews. Let's consider it from a bit of a different angle. Consider this. The glorious messiah who was promised and pictured for the entire old testament dispensation has now come to accomplish the ultimate work to redeem a people for his own possession.

He has offered one sacrifice for sin and has sat down at the father's right hand where he currently makes intercession for those whom the father has given to him so that he might save them and secure them and sanctify them everlastingly.

And those people whom the father has given to him whom the son has then redeemed and purchased by his own blood he has done this because they are his people. And he even now makes intercession for them to apply the merits of his life and his sacrifice to their account so that there is no condemnation to those who are in him.

And they are promised only glory only joy only reward. And he has made them his own. And as his people we are called out of this world and into an eternal kingdom. And he has given us this kingdom it is ours.

And even now he sits beyond the veil as it were in heaven praying for us encouraging us to run our race. And then he does everything in his power to secure the the finishing of that race on on our behalf for us.

And he sustains us through that. Having purchased us he sustains us and keeps us. And he has secured us and will bring us past that finish line to himself as his own people a blood-bought and redeemed people zealous for good works.

That is what he has done now since he has done that. How ought holy people to live. Well they should in verse one love one another. They should in verse two love the stranger. They should in verse three love the prisoner.

And they should in verse four love their spouse. See it's it just seems natural now. Doesn't it you say how come i never even saw this back in the first 12 chapters of the book. This seemed like such a natural way of applying all of that biblical truth.

And here in this context what he is saying is that the salvation that is described in the first 12 chapters of this book will be seen in the lives and the behavior and the conduct of those who have been so purchased it will be seen.

The redemption will result in a certain kind of marriage. This redemption will result in a pure and holy sexual ethic. And if your christianity does not affect your marriage and your marriage bed you are living a lie.

That is the straightforward point you're living a lie. You are at best a hypocrite that is the best thing you can say. At worst you may in fact be a self-deceived apostate in the making. If your christianity does not affect your marriage and your marriage bed you're either a hypocrite or you are a self-deceived apostate in the making.

You know what inevitably goes with apostasy nearly every time we see it sexual immorality. So it seems quite reasonable that in the context of a book that is encouraging us to persevere in the faith that we would get some moral instruction regarding moral purity and honoring our marriage.

It is almost as certain as the wetness of water and almost without fail that when people walk away from the faith they depart from christianity. It is because they are enslaved to certain craven lusts and sexual desires.

Almost 100 percent of the time the apostate cannot square their lusts and their desires with the moral demands of the new covenant and with the moral demands of the new testament. And so first the apostate begins to make excuses for their sin.

Then the apostate begins to redefine their sin. And then finally the apostate just gives all up all pretense and abandons any standard by which their sin might be called sin and by which they might be held to account.

And then they begin to just simply deconstruct their faith and they end up leaving the faith. Nearly 100 percent of the time apostasy is motivated by sexual immorality and the desire to fulfill craven sexual lusts.

We've seen this within our own body even within the last year. Have we not and we should not forget that because it is a cautionary tale now i say almost all the time and i don't say a hundred percent of the time because there may be some instance out there where somebody who's listening to me could point to where apostate was motivated by something other than their sexual immorality.

So there might be an example of that. I have not seen an example of that. If i ever see an example of that i will let you know. But so far every example that i have seen of any kind of high profile apostasy or apostasy within a church that body that i've been present in it is always accompanied by craven sexual desires and desires of immorality.

They either want what they cannot have or they want to affirm something that god condemns. Apostasy and sexual immorality go together like peanut butter and chocolate. They are always there or should at least always be there.

But peanut butter and chocolate i'm speaking of apostasy is motivated by sexual immorality. This is why joshua harris within a year after his public deconstruction and apostasy. This is why joshua harris within a year divorced his wife and was marching in a gay pride parade inside of vancouver british columbia.

It happens all the time. So therefore in the context of a book that gives us encouragement to persevere in the faith we have this moral instruction in verse 4. Just as false teachers follow their sensuality.

Second peter chapter 2 verse 2. So the apostate remains a slave to sin. Listen to how peter describes apostates and false teachers. Second peter chapter 2 verses 18 to 20. For speaking out of arrogant words of vanity they entice by fleshly desires by sensuality those who barely escape from the ones who live in error promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption.

For by what a man is overcome by this he is enslaved. For if after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the lord and savior jesus christ they are again entangled in them and are overcome the last date has become worse for them than the first marriage is to be honored.

And the marriage bed is to be kept pure from defilement because of our covenant that we have made with our spouse and marriage is in this way a protection from sexual immorality and and moral purity is itself a a speed bump to our protection against apostasy because the one who has committed himself to honoring and living out a holy life in fidelity and faithfulness to their spouse with whom they are in covenant and keeping their marriage bed pure from all enemies foreign outside enemies and domestic the ones inside of our hearts when they're committed to guarding that that in itself is a guard against apostasy a prevention of apostasy.

So in this book we are talking about persevering in marriage. And if you are going to address an apostate you might as well deal with the subject of marriage honoring marriage and being faithful inside of that marriage covenant.

So there are two things here that we are to honor in verse four marriage and the marriage bed. And the reason that these are to be honored both of them are to be honored is at the end of verse four for fornicators that is the immoral people and adulterers god will judge and we should just let that hang there for as long as it needs to hang there.

Fornicators and adulterers god will judge. And i believe that he's talking there of impenitent people who live and persist in this immorality demonstrate that they are enslaved to it and therefore begin the subjects of become the subjects of god's judgment.

So let's now take apart this verse. We're going to talk about first honoring marriage and then we will address honoring the marriage bed making no promises that we'll get through both of those today. But that's at least charting the course honoring marriage among all.

Now just read with me again the beginning phrase of verse four marriage is to be held in honor among all. There is an interpretive challenge that we run into at the beginning of verse four and i want you to be aware of it.

There's some question regarding the translation of the verse and different translations translate it differently. There is no verb in the opening phrase and so the verb must be supplied by the translator.

And when the verb needs to be supplied by the translator to make the translation flow and have some sort of meaning it is subject to some interpretation as to whether what is being described is a command to be obeyed or a description that we are to observe.

That's the difference. Is the phrase in verse four meant to be taken as a prescription or a description it is a is it a command or a statement of fact. Is it an exhortation or simply a declaration. And so you see this difference of translation between the king james for instance and the new american standard.

The king james takes this as a statement of fact a simple description or declaration. And the translators translated it this way. Marriage is honorable in all. Marriage is honorable in all notice. That's just a statement of fact regarding the nature of marriage and the honor that it has.

Marriage is honorable in all a statement describing the nature or the substance the quality of marriage. Now the nasb and other modern translations translate a little bit differently. They translate it as a command a prescription an exhortation.

And so the nasb translates that marriage is to be held in honor among all that describes a certain perspective on marriage that should inform our thinking it should inform our heart. It is a perspective on marriage that requires us to do something namely to honor marriage.

So is it a description or is it a prescription. Now i would submit to you that it cannot be a prescription unless at first is a description. In other words the marriage must be honorable. If the author is telling us that we should honor it because god would never command us to honor something that is dishonorable or that is not honorable.

So if it is an exhortation that is a command for us to approach marriage and to handle our marriages in a certain way if it is an exhortation then it it must also mean that marriage first and foremost is itself an honorable institution.

Now i take this as an exhortation a command. And i'll give you a couple of reasons why. First you'll notice that verse four is in a list of other commands. Let love of the brethren continue. Verse one love strangers.

Verse two love prisoners. Verse three the second half of the phrase is also a command. Let the marriage bed remain undefiled. Or marriage the marriage bed is to be undefiled. So this is in a list of command.

Verse five says. Make sure your character is free from the love of money. That's a command. Later down in verse seven and eight the the passage that deals with submitting to authority. That is a command.

And so we have this list of exhortations and commands in chapter 13. I i think that chapter 13 verse 4 is to be taken as an exhortation a prescription something that we are to do because marriage is honorable.

We are therefore to honor marriage in our midst among us and and honor our individual marriages. The second reason i take it as command is because the second half of the verse verse 4 is also a command that is we are to approach the marriage bed in a certain way namely to guard its purity and its sanctity and its holiness.

We are to maintain the purity and holiness of that aspect of our marriage. And the third reason i would take it as an exhortation is because the second phrase is really dependent upon the first. If marriage is not honored then neither will be the marriage bed.

If marriage is not honored it's the top command. If that is not honored then neither will be the marriage bed. Show me somebody who does not guard the purity of their own thought life and their own heart and their own marriage bed.

And i will show you somebody who does not honor marriage who does not have a high view of marriage. These two things go together. And the one who has a high view of the marriage covenant is going to expend every effort we give all diligence to preserving and protecting that which you honor and love.

We always protect the things we love. We always protect the things that honor. And so if somebody does not protect the purity of their marriage bed they are not protecting their marriage. These two things go hand in hand.

So he is not simply declaring something true about marriage. He is exhorting us to honor it and to hold it in honor. And that is the first step. So we can take two points from this number. One that we should honor marriage.

And second that we do this by maintaining the purity and sanctity of the marriage bed. We honor marriage by maintaining purity and sanctity of the act within marriage that is authorized and created by god.

And i want you to miss what verse 5 says. Because there is a connection between verses 4 and 5. And before we go any further i want you to see this connection. Look at verse 5. Make sure that your character is free from the love of money being content with what you have.

For he himself has said i will never desert you nor will i ever forsake you. I want you to see a connection there. In verse 4 he talks about sex. In verse 5 he talks about money. These two related you know what.

The two greatest conflicts causes of conflict within a marriage are sex and money. Do you know what couples fight about more than anything else sex and money. Do you know what reveals the condition of our hearts more than anything else sex and money.

And do you know what two things have both not only been causes of great conflict but causes of untold harm and destruction. Sex and money these two things go together hand in hand. They are both causes of untold harm and untold destruction in the lives of unbelievers in the lives of believers and in the lives of churches.

The amount of destruction that has been wrought because of lust and greed is incalculable. It is undescribable. You cannot even put a quantitative figure on it. It's immeasurable. It's everywhere lives have been ruined because of greed and covetousness and the love of money.

In fact first timothy chapter 6 verses 9 and 10 warns about this. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare. Listen to this language into many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction.

For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil. And some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith. What's that. That's apostasy. Have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

The love of money itself is a cause of apostasy. And then lust. How much ruin and hurt and betrayal and destruction and devastation have been wrought in marriages in lives in businesses in churches and in ministries because of sexual lust.

Can you put a number on that we cannot. The amount of destruction the number of tears that have been shed because of infidelity and pain and bitterness and destruction and betrayal and the hurt and the ruin would fill an ocean.

We can't quantify that. These are the two most destructive things that we give places of idolatry and worship to in our hearts. And they promise to do nothing but ruin us. Well that's not exactly true.

They promise to do all kinds of things for us that are all lies. And what they end up doing is ruining us. That would be a better way to say it. These sins stem from the same impulse according to proverbs chapter 5 and proverbs chapter 7.

It is the fool who says in his heart though this has ruined countless other men i can do this and remain untouched. It is the fool who says in his heart i can take coals into my lap and not be burned.

It's the fool who says in his heart this may have destroyed other marriages but it won't destroy mine. This may have ruined other women but it won't ruin mine. This may have turned other children against their fathers but it won't turn the hearts of my children against me.

So i can do this and i can get away with it. I can do this and i can keep it hidden. I can do this and nobody will know. Every man who has fallen and been ruined by that has believed that lie at some point in their life.

These sins stem from the same impulse. And you and i ought to notice what that impulse is and understand what that impulse is. Sexual impurity and covetousness both are a discontent with what god has provided.

It's a discontent with what god has provided. The the man who seeks more material possessions always something more always something extra always a little bit more. It is a discontent with what god has provided.

It looks in the face of what god has given. It says i will not be satisfied with this. I must have more and so i must work harder and i must get more. The same is true with sexual immorality my wife or singleness either one.

This is what god has provided and i am discontent with this and therefore i will pursue satisfaction in some other way than through god's ordained means for me to be satisfied in this. Both of them come from a heart of covetousness a heart that desires something illicit something that is not theirs.

And it really is an idolatry of the heart. See it is the idol of of covetousness. It's greed that gets set up in the heart. And then this idol demands that we sacrifice everything on that altar to serve that idol.

Your children put it on the idol. Your your clean conscience put it on the idol on the altar. Your your purity on the altar your relationship with the lord on the altar your reputation put it on the altar.

And and it is a fool who is willing to take everything that god has given to them and lay it up on the altar in front of that idol and offer it in service to that idol. The covetousness and the greed and the the desire for something illicit that god is not provided.