Should You Leave Your Church for Better Dating Options?

The Gospel of Salvation and Coming Judgment

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People are tired of hearing nothing but doom and despair on the radio. The message of Christianity is that salvation is found in Christ alone, and any who reject Christ therefore forfeit any hope of salvation, any hope of heaven.

The issue is that humanity is in sin, and the wrath of almighty God is hanging over our heads.

They will hear his words, they will not act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment, when the fires of wrath come, they will be consumed and they will perish.

God wrapped himself in flesh, condescended and became a man, died on the cross for sin, was resurrected on the third day, has ascended to the right hand of the Father, where he sits now to make intercession for us.

Jesus is saying there is a group of people who will hear his words, they will act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment come in that final day, their house will stand.

Whether to Leave a Church for Better Dating Options

So speaking of being limited in options, what if you have a situation where you break up with someone, and then you're looking around and you're saying, hey, there are no more options here. There are no more viable options in terms of finding a spouse.

In your mind, is that a reason to say, hey, it's time to start looking for churches elsewhere where there's essentially more fish in the sea?

I mean, yeah. I don't think that there's more fish in the sea. I mean, obviously these things don't simply reduce to probability. And so, I mean, if you're only considering that as an axis for, I mean, that's a bad, like, exclusive consideration.

I wouldn't be willing to say that it has no merit whatsoever in terms of a consideration at all. I mean, there are some situations that I can imagine that people would be in where there really aren't any options and there never will be.

For instance, I went to a church in Louisville when I was in seminary, and it was a church full of people that were basically one step away from a nursing home. So it was kind of a nursing home church that I went to for a little bit.

And, you know, God's hand is not limited. His arm's not shortened, right? He could have sent a single young person to this church, and he's more than capable of doing that. But, you know, if you have other options, you may want to think about going.

Again, that's on the radar for you. You may want to think about other faithful options. You know, so Ruth put herself in Boaz's field. You may want to think, like, where are the people at? Like, that's a pretty normal way of thinking, all other things being equal.

You don't have to commit to a situation that in a natural way seems pretty impossible just to demonstrate the power of God or something in your situation. Like, you can use your brain. I mean, now, you know, on the other end of things, yeah, I mean, if you want to go to a mega church where there's more people at and everything else, you're going to get all the theology that comes with that, right?

So, yeah, they have a lot more people. There's a lot bigger pool of fish, you know, in the pond and all that. But the problem is you're making some very significant doctrinal compromises. I mean, so a lot of people do that.

They go to churches where people are at, and they're shocked and scandalized by the fact that all the people there are so superficial and shallow, and they wouldn't want to marry them anyway. So you didn't really do yourself any favors.

You just put yourself around a bunch of people who you, like a godly person, should be repelled by, right?

Right, yeah. Essentially, you've put yourself around more people, but you haven't put yourself around more viable options in terms of a spouse, right?

Yeah, if you're a guy in that situation and all the girls dress like they're going to the club or something, it's like, well, do you really want to marry one of them, right? Then if you're a girl in that situation, you're looking at all these like frat boy kind of guys or whatever who are trashy and have never read a theology book in their life, then, I mean, what do you expect?

What do you think you're going to get here? You're not going to get this may on one axis look like a better field, but it may not be. I mean, I don't typically I would not encourage people just to make a decision like that hastily and just out of a moment of desperation.

I think there's more to it than that. I think if godly people would commit to a place, over time, God brings people in. People come and go and everything else. So I would try to put yourself in the place where you in general, I would try to put yourself in the kind of place where the kind of person that you would want to marry would want to go, right?

I would be more thinking about it that way, like where would the kind of person that you would want to marry go, right? So go to that kind of place, and that should be the main priority for sure.

Okay.

Yeah.

Relocating for Marriage in a Small Church Context

I mean, if you're in a small village somewhere where all the age ratios are off and you happen to be the only young person there and you have a faithful church there, but you're the last of the young people there and all that.

I mean, you may want to consider relocating for the sake of prioritizing marriage. So that's certainly something to think about for sure.

Right.