Church Soup 2024: Episode 01 (Jewish Tunnels, Kathryn Krick, T.D. Jakes, Alaska Airlines, and More!)

Welcome back to Church Soup, the only show on the internet that could possibly be confused with a Baptist potluck recipe.

That's such a dumb joke. I'm your host, Keith Foskey, and fun fact, I'm currently wearing bunny slippers.

Or maybe I'm not. You'll never know for sure, because I only film this from the waist up. This episode of Church Soup is brought to you by Duke's Mayonnaise.

Not really, but it should be. Our top story. New York building officials have issued emergency work orders to stabilize a historic synagogue and its neighboring structures after an illegal underground tunnel measuring 60 -foot long, 8 -foot wide, and 5 -foot high was discovered at the sanctuary earlier this week.

Many have questioned the purpose of this tunnel, and countless conspiracy theories have been spawned regarding the potential reasons for its existence.

Well, it just so happens that this week I was listening to a sermon by Dr. John MacArthur, which was preached over a decade ago, which may shed some light on the existence of these mysterious tunnels.

There were many of them who believed that all the Jews would actually rise in Israel. How's that going to happen?

Some of them taught that all over the earth there were tunnels, and when a Jew was buried in a foreign land, his body rolled through the tunnel until it finally came to Israel.

Amazingly, this is nowhere near the craziest explanation of these tunnels that I've heard. It's interesting to think that the ancient

Jewish people may have been the first group to come up with the hollow earth theory. In legal news, a judge in Las Vegas, Nevada, was physically assaulted while on the bench, having denied probation to a career felon.

The irony of this video lies in the fact that the man seen attacking the judge had just finished trying to convince the court that he had given up his violent past, describing himself as a person who never stops trying to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is.

Well, clearing that desk in a single bound did look pretty hard, so there's that. Also, I want to say

I'm very thankful to report that this judge was not seriously injured and was back on the job the very next day.

This video made the rounds on social media, and many of the resultant memes have been no less than hilarious. But nothing beats the comment from the court's chief judge, who described the defendant as having, quote,

I concur.

In Hollywood News, director Martin Scorsese has announced he has completed a screenplay based on the book

A Life of Jesus. And some are suggesting this will be a radical departure from the biblical narrative, with rumors that the character of Jesus will be played by Jennifer Lawrence.

And Judas Iscariot played by Emma Stone. Making the film a gender -reversed reimagining of the events.

As I always say, I hope it's a blast for them, because it's certainly a blast for me. In case you're wondering what's going to happen after this new movie comes out,

I have a preview of how the Reformed community is going to respond to Scorsese after the film's release.

In charismatic news, Catherine Crick, the lead pastor of Fivefold Church in Los Angeles, recently stated in a message that Christians shouldn't be limited by what the

Bible says. So we're not limited to the Bible. God wants to bring more.

God wants to bring meat. God wants to bring mysteries. God wants to bring secrets of the kingdom, they always will say.

But it's not in the word of God. He's doing a new thing. We can't shut off his voice here and now today and only just read the

Bible and that's it. We need his voice to breathe upon the word and bring more. Why be limited to what the

Bible says when you can just make stuff up as you go? And speaking of making stuff up.

That at its core, Paul is telling us that God is a dressmaker. Forgive the feminine usage.

Normally, when we think of dressmakers, we think of women. They don't have to be, but we normally think of women. But if we use that inference,

God is not insulted because after all, he is our father, but he is also the breasted one.

No, no, he's not. Now, listen, before you run to the comments and say, but El Shaddai could possibly mean the breasted one.

Allow me to say this to you. Stop it. Again, this will be my answer to anyone who wants to argue.

What's wrong with you people? In entertainment news, Disney has handed over the 67 billion dollar

Star Wars franchise to a Pakistani feminist activist, Sharpan Obaid Chinoy, who will become the first woman to direct a

Star Wars movie. She's quoted as having said, we're in 2024. It's about time we have a woman shape a story in a galaxy far, far away.

She also went on to say this. I like to make men uncomfortable. I enjoy making men uncomfortable.

So the grand plan of Disney is to hand over a beloved franchise, which has already had some problems in recent years, to a person who is most interested in making their largest target demographic uncomfortable.

Good luck. I would give all the money just to have the entire franchise given over to this guy.

Moving on. Alaska Airlines made the news recently because a door on one of their airliners came off in mid -flight.

Just so you understand, that's the kind of thing that gives my nightmares their own nightmares. Also, I've been convinced by movies and TV shows that a door coming off would result in a catastrophic failure and people would immediately be pulled out of the plane.

And the people on this plane are all acting like it's just okay. They're literally filming it on their phones.

What is anything? Some are suggesting that Alaska Airlines have committed too much to their inclusivity campaign and not enough to the basic safety and maintenance of their airplanes.

I said gay! You said gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay!

Gay! Gay! Gay! That ain't no woman. It's a man, man.

It's really a wonder that their planes can even fly straight. Thank you for watching this episode of Church Soup.

If you liked it, well, good for you. Go ahead and hit that thumbs up button. And if you didn't, go ahead and hit that thumbs down button twice.

And listen, if you really loved it, go back to the beginning of this series, put on the Church Soup playlist, and play the whole thing.

You don't even have to watch it. Just put it on a constant loop on your television. Last thing, if you have newsworthy ideas for an upcoming episode, please leave them in the comments with the hashtag